Elements of Play

by Amy Goller

One of the things I like best about being a mom is playing with my kids. Batman and Barbies, Bionicles and horses; over the years we spent hours and hours coloring, drawing, and painting.

We could be found playing pirates on the sailboat, fishing, waterskiing, playing soccer in the yard, or having diving competitions off the dock. All four of us, mom, dad, daughter, and son, loved to play.

What happens in adulthood, then? When does play stop and the responsibilities of providing for the family, running a household, and pursuing a career take over?

As adults, the play opportunities are precious little compared to that of children, and yet I would argue that we need the restorative, energizing benefits of creative play all the more.

I have always been heavily invested in playtime. I was lucky that my chosen profession of acting, directing, personal training and teaching exercise classes were always super creative and fun. Now that I primarily run the Brighton Coffee House and Theatre, I find that directing provides the opportunity to imagine and to create with a playful group of people.

In the adult world, play often feels like an indulgence, frivolous and unimportant, but when life deals a difficult hand, I believe that creative play becomes a necessity. It is an important release, and it can allow us to explore important questions. For instance, if you journal or dabble in poetry or songwriting, you can ask, has anyone else ever hurt like this? I know that with the very recent and unexpected death of my husband, I am asking if I will ever feel like myself again? Will I ever be “okay?” When we were dating, I was a prolific poet in my journals, and I reveled in the joy and fulfillment of finding my soulmate and explored the question,” Has anyone else ever felt this level of joy or fulfillment?” As my children and Because I honestly I adjust to our new didn’t know that reality without it was possible to my husband of be so completely 34 years and their complete and beloved father, happy. Physical we all seek our play is just as versions of restorative rewarding. If you playtime. love biking, running, swimming, golf or tennis, Spencer, my son, who bears etc., you can blow off the steam of the new responsibilities as he steps into day and allow those fabulous exercise- partnership with me at the BCAT, retreats induced endorphins to restore your into the sanctuary of his art studio above outlook and give you the energy and the coffee house. He loses himself in the optimism to complete tasks that seemed canvas, the paint, and the ink, into the overwhelming. I contend that optimism wee hours of the morning. He is often is essential for moving forward in life, just leaving as I come in to open the especially when moving through and out cafe, but I can see that he is refreshed of hardship. and lighter and brighter. He also bravely

Playfulness is one of the qualities I value most in people. It helps to ease the burdens and challenges of life, which we all know are many.

pushes himself into areas untried. He sang for the first time in front of a crowd at one of our open mics. He will act for the first time in our production of Almost Maine, which goes up at the end of June. Spencer also understands the importance of playing with friends. They meet up when they can, and I can hear him laughing and playing over his headset for a round or two of Counter-Strike as I turn in for my 6am open. It brings me great joy to hear him laugh like a kid amid our new challenges. I am proud of him, happy for him, as he steps into bigger shoes with courage.

My daughter Macy writes her life into poetic pages that aptly reflect the emotions of this season of our lives. She perfectly pictures the devastatingly bittersweet moment in which we are living. When she reads to me what she has written, I feel validated and heard. I feel understood, and I am grateful that someone has grasped it and written it down. She pours herself into new projects to rejuvenate her spirit, like podcasts with friends to question and probe the deeper stuff of life. Macy plays the piano and sings softly to let her heart out of its box and fill the house with something lovely. Her music brings me great joy, and I understand now why my Mom always asked me to sing to her when I was younger. Macy also makes it a priority to play with her friends regularly, as this restores her as well. I am proud and happy that she already knows at 21 how to preserve her positive outlook. She is acting in our production of Almost Maine and directing with me and my new theatrical partner, Annie Courtney. They are both delightfully playful, and we love to create together.

As for me, I am lucky that my day job is a playful one. I banter back and forth with customers and crew and make jokes all day while slinging coffee. Then, in the evenings, I get to create something extraordinary, directing a playful group of actors. And when I have free time, I love to play the piano and read. But I am also a physical animal; I am made to move. I love to ride my bike, Cross country ski, run, kayak, and play in my playground at home. I smile and laugh. I am reminded of who I am. I am reminded of what and whom I love. It allows me to imagine that I will be whole again someday.

I love to hula hoop to the entirety of the Beatles’ “Lady Madonna”. It makes me feel like a kid again.

July

“Play fills the mind and the soul with meaning”

—Unknown

Social

• Make a fire, gather your adult friends and take turns playing your favorite camp fire game. It will make you all feel like kids again. • NUMBERS is a very silly game that you and your gang are sure to love.

How to play…

1. The aim of the game is to count out loud, as a group, from 1 to as high as possible without any two people saying the same number at the same time...go! 2. Anyone can speak at any time saying any number of numbers, so long as they are in order from 1 upwards. There can be no pointing or gesturing to indicate who will be the next person to speak. 3. As soon as two people say a number at the same time you have to start again. Can you get to 100? It’s wonderfully addictive!!!!!

Spiritual

Listen to different types of spiritual music and get up and dance with your soul. • Gospel Music • Native American Chants • African American Hymns • Indian Bhajans

Space

Make your space more playful. • Paint a door a fun color • Add patterns • Add color in unexpected places • Add a fish or a plant

Personal

Use unscheduled time to be creative, to daydream, reflect and decompress. Smile and laugh often throughout the day - set your timer if you need a reminder to stop for a moment. Plan to make play part of your day, whether it is indoor or outdoor, solo or social, active or quiet - take the 21-Day Getting Into Your Play Challenge - see page 27.

Emotional

Take time each day to have play in your life. The emotional benefits of play are: • Emotional resilience • Self Esteem • Self-Confidence • Reduced anxiety • Self-worth • Understanding winning and losing • Exploring feelings • Self-expression