The Art of Play

“I have found that remembering what play is all about and making it part of our daily lives are probably the most important factors in being a fulfilled human being. The ability to play is critical not only to be happy but also to sustaining social relationships and being a creative, innovative person.”

—Dr. Stuart Brown, Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul

by Valerie René Sheppard

It’s Summer, a season associated with the outdoors, vacation trips, and play! As much as I can get up to some fun adventures, I’ve never thought of myself as a play master. And that’s despite performing improv comedy professionally and also being a Laughter Yoga© leader! Others haven’t seen me that way either. In fact, close pals have told me that I don’t know how to relax, and my spiritual counselor says I “have a Ph.D. in striving, proving and working hard.” So with Summer looming large, I feel my heart calling me to evolve my practices in the creative art of play.

Can you relate? Have you ever assessed your play prowess as an adult? Well, maybe it’s a perfect time to do so, and I’m here to help! So please accept my invitation to join me on this journey. First, it helps me get my logical, analytical, left-brain self on the same page with my heartbased desire for more fun. So let’s start with some head stuff.

My go-to expert on the science of play is Dr. Stuart Brown, a worldrenowned expert who’s been studying the dynamics of and power in play since 1966. Dr. Brown’s decades of research include studying play in various environments, some of them surprising, including studying the early childhood play habits of serial killers!

While observing animals playing in the wild, Dr. Brown saw them build trusting relationships, find innovative solutions, and thrive as communities. Similarly, rats who frequently and openly engaged in play were more resourceful, smarter, and more likely to thrive.

By contrast, Dr. Brown recorded less favorable outcomes among animals with play deficits. For example, in one study, he saw that rats deprived of play were more fearful, more limited in their actions, and overall less likely to survive. It’s the same with us humans. Through analyzing thousands of “play histories,” Dr. Brown found those who were deprived of play in early childhood had less brain development and were less willing to explore new options as adults, while those who played were more possibility oriented. Through traditional play, such as roughhousing, flirtation, humor, and fantasy, and connecting with the archetypal energies of the player, trickster, and joker within ourselves, we can expand our problemsolving abilities while also having fun.

The safe environment of play allows us to take more risks, learn from our mistakes and try new things. In addition, play frees us from the requirement of behaving in a consistent and socially acceptable way, thus fostering more creativity in every individual action, which helps us learn faster and get more creative in our problem-solving.

Fabulous! Success and fulfillment are about getting our play on! Except, how do we do that in our over-scheduled, being there for everyone, often putting ourselves last, achievement-oriented lives? Here are some nuggets from my attempt at upping my play quotient.

Life Lessons from My 2021 Play Challenge

I recently received an opportunity to evolve my relationship with playing. I was in a group coaching session with mindset expert Ryan Magdziarz, lamenting the heaviness I felt from some aspects of my life. He suggested a 30-day Play Challenge as a fix and tasked me to share my adventures daily on our group Facebook page.

Given that play is a major component of my suggested elements for creating a juicy, delicious life, it was a no-brainer to accept his offer, or so I thought.

On the very first night, I caught myself resisting the idea of playing every day, over-thinking how I would make it through the Challenge successfully. Frankly, I didn’t need one more commitment added to my plate. To alleviate the pressure, I quickly jotted down some options for the next few days to get ahead of the situation.

For the most part, I’ve been stutterstepping through, possibly because I’ve made it harder than it has to be. I’ve felt blocked and stuck, and this little play experience has triggered considerable sadness, resistance, and self-judgment.

Yet, I’m getting to dismantle old ideas of how I should be in my life and of what my life should consist of. As a self-mastery zealot, this opportunity is priceless!

I haven’t perfected the art of playing every day (to lower my stress from the Challenge, I changed my commitment so that it wasn’t 30 consecutive days, and I’ve completed 21 play adventures in 37 days), but I love the idea of getting better at it!

Personal transformation starts with selfawareness: noticing how and exploring why you do or don’t do things. Inside that is a treasure trove of opportunity and possibility to create a happier, more fulfilling life.

If, like me, you’d like to expand your capacity for playfulness and uplift your experiences, turn to page 27 and explore the Good Fat Life Play Challenge.

Wishing you an enlightening, lifechanging experience. Blessings!

Life is meant to be more of a dance. Laughter, playfulness, and fun can be incorporated every step of the way. However, we must consciously choose to create that kind of experience for ourselves.

Here, in no particular order, are some golden nuggets I’ve found along my way:

1. Allow play to flow into your schedule as much

as you schedule it in. Like my recent weekend camping trip, scheduled play is fantastic, but it may not give you the greatest benefit, especially if you schedule it sparsely. By adding spontaneously incorporated playtimes, you add upside into your life. My favorite example during the Challenge was to say yes to an urge to take a midday movie break along with lunch one day. That kind of fluidity of play lets us practice being free from constraints and fixedness, and we can get more comfortable taking wandering and crooked paths from point A to point Z.

2. Change your definition of play to suit yourself in

the moment. Be willing to define anything as play if it will help you release rigidity and incorporate more imagination. For me, this meant deciding that I could label my morning exercise walks ‘play,’ and in so doing, this ‘health commitment’ became more energized and inspiring. I already talked to flowers and creatures I encountered, but in the energy of play, I imagined them talking back, wishing me a good day, and sprinkling me with love dust.

3. Give yourself time with playmates and also time

to go it alone. Playmates are my go-to because ‘quality time’ is my primary love language. I’m also an introvert, and I find deep fulfillment in playing alone. Even if you’re not an introvert, making decisions solely based on your wants and needs is one way to keep play fulfilling and easy. Of course, you might have to change any negative meaning you attach to ‘being alone’ in the process, in which case, you’ll get a bonus, good juju!

4. Mentally struggling to figure out how to play

is a no-no. According to Dr. Brown, play is a form of productive restoration. It provides a respite from mental work, thereby relieving cognitive exhaustion. So when I noticed the stress I was creating by trying to mentally make a play plan each day, I realized I was defeating the purpose of my Challenge and made it okay not to get play in that day. Stay mindful of your mental state as you take on your play challenge.

5. Play should be more than just a reward for

working hard. It must be as integral as drinking enough water and getting enough rest. Remember: Play goes beyond pure fun. The mental and emotional advantages contribute to our wholeness and vitality in addition to our success. It’s not about making every moment in life ‘fun.’ Playing more is about experiencing the fullness of life amid its highs and lows. Something that powerful should not be relegated to the last place in our lives. This has been my most difficult thing to reprogram. I am so conditioned to get the ‘important’ things done before resting or playing that I can go days without feeling like I’ve engaged in anything else, which leads to mental fatigue, low patience, short-temperedness, and ultimately, burn-out. Unfortunately, it’s been no different in this Challenge; I took baby steps toward releasing my attachment to being ‘productive.’ This is my holy grail where play is concerned.

6. The real gift in the power of play is making it part of how you do everything.

By choosing to be in the ‘state of play’ (a.k.a. playfulness) even while you’re ‘working,’ you lighten up every aspect of your life. You develop the ability to navigate situational dynamics despite feelings of fear, lack, limitation, or inadequacy. I find it difficult to hold onto feelings of playfulness when paying bills or sketching the outline for an important project. In the Challenge, I found that by taking a moment to take a deep breath and welcome a smile, I changed the energy of the tasks and moved through them with more ease and peace.