artwork by ggggrimes
Jan/Feb 2019
Issue 003
GRACE GALORE
The Womanhood Issue
IN THIS ISSUE Introduction to Womanhood Emerson— photography LGBTQIA Spotlight and Interview: @ggggrimes Your Responses to Womanhood “Strength” and “Valour” by Katherine Spence— collage Chanel— poetry Matthew Penado— mixed media “My Womanhood” by Megan Grace Mello— self-reflection
IN THIS ISSUE Nora Griffith— illustration “b.d” by Nod’Keya’— poetry Bella— illustration “Clitoris vs Health Class” by Grace Wallner— poetry “Janelle” by MaryAnne Haven— creative nonfiction “What Womanhood Means to Me” by Crystal Eastman— self-reflection Meet Our Staff Credits
I am so excited that this is the issue to propel us into the new year. In this short time, I have felt Grace Galore grow so much and you all will see more changes to come. Creating changes within this magazine gives so many opportunities for us to grow, excel, and bring Grace Galore to the forefront. We have created our own website so this magazine can stand on it own. That also means more space for interviews, photos, events, and articles to be published which means more staff, guest writers, and opportunities for those apart of the magazine to expand their artistry – I could continue this “which means� example but you get the point. 2019 is the place for opportunity and growth for this magazine. This magazine is a house, a space for LGBT+, Black, PoC, and other marginalized groups to feel visible, to contribute to a conversation, to be honest, and to feel supported and challenged positively in their talents. This issue as well as the other work going into the magazine has felt like a hard but determined push in that direction. We are going to get there anyway but I felt confirmation that it was the right choice. Thank you so much for your support, your submissions, and your truth. Thank you to the readers who share, comment, and give us feedback that helps us grow. Thank you to the staff members that have helped out so much by just being creative and lovely people. Thank you. I hope you enjoy this experience of watching Grace Galore evolve. It starts with this issue.
The “Womanhood” Issue We asked, “Womanhood is defined as “the state or condition of being a woman”. What does being a ‘woman’ mean? What does it look like? Is this term outdated? Is it rejected in your own timeline?” This theme was chosen to dismantle the idea of womanhood to its reality for each individual and creative artist who submitted their work. They shared their own truth, critiques, or praises. They took their own scope and examined what they have been subjected to.
The storytelling or submissions to the idea of womanhood wasn’t limited to women so thank you to the non-binary/genderqueer folk and men who contributed their own proximities to this conversation. Thank you to each of these creative artists for sharing. We all welcome you to “The ‘Womanhood” Issue”
@sonnyfaithphotos
@sonnyfaithphotos
ggggrimes We’ve decided to highlight the truly talented Gabriella Grimes for our LGBTQIA+ spotlight, the illustrator we’ve collaborated with and who we fawn over with their work displaying POC, gender-nonconforming, nonbinary, and other identifying folks in such a genuine light – plus they offer the best memes daily on their Instagram stories.
Tell our readers more about yourself and where they can find you and support your work. “Gabriella Grimes, or ‘ggggrimes’. I am a 23 year old based out of New York City and you can find me at @ggggrimes on Instagram. I identify as bisexual and non-binary using they/them pronouns. My shop is http://depop.com/imgabby and my email is ggggrimes.art@gmail.com.” A lot of your art features people of color as well as different gender identities. What is the story behind why your art features diverse and different bodies than what most [cis, straight] folks are used to? “When I first began my art journey over a year ago, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what could make my work more meaningful for me. I began looking at so many different artists, and I realized that while I liked their style, I could hardly find people in their art who I could relate to. It wasn’t a coincidence that at the same time, most of the people who were supporting me were people of color. As I began slowly growing on Instagram, I came in contact with more people and accepted my queerness more. I wanted to pay homage to the people of color, queer and cishet alike, who helped me keep going with art. On top of that, I wanted young queer people of color to see themselves created in a positive light. Most of my artwork has a wholesome message, and I dislike having to tackle subjects like abuse and racism. We already know how bad things are for us. I want to show us being happy for the most part.”
What have been two of your favorite art pieces you've done and why? See ggggrimes choices on the next two pages
“One of my favorites is of a gay boy in class daydreaming about his crush and falling asleep. It’s actually a really relatable illustration for me. I had a few crushes on girls in high school and would daydream about them. I also fell asleep a lot because I was on meds that made me super tired all the time. It’s an illustration stemming from nostalgia.”
“Another favorite is one of the first that helped me find my current style. It’s a girl with vitiligo posing with her boyfriend who’s wearing a jockstrap. I like drawing couples of color, and a lot of people assume the guy is white just because he has pale skin. I wonder if it’s because people have an expectation of Black women only dating Black men and White men. I also remember seeing so many photos of guys posing next to their girlfriend’s butt. I flipped that because I really just want to see more guy butts.”
ggggrimes Do your own identities play a part in your art or is it subjective? I don’t think there’s a way for me to separate myself from my art. It’s been a really healing experience for me. I don’t think I would like myself as much as I do if my identities didn’t play a role in my work. If you see me painting a non-binary person it’s probably because I was recently reflecting on my own identity. I also paint a lot of alternative people because I’ve been a part of the alt community since I was about 12. I used to be told I was acting White for liking these things, so my art is a big “eff you” to people who try to tell Black people and non-Black PoC terrible things like that. The theme this issue is womanhood. Our idea for the issue was to see the spectrum of sides that the term and evaluation of the term provide such as critique, pride, etc. Where do you land on the spectrum of proximity and the spectrum of womanhood-- how do you view that term? I have a very strained relationship with womanhood but I love it. I wish my body were different and I could be seen as androgynous, but that’s not my reality. I’m always seen as a woman, and I embrace my femininity after rejecting it for most of my life to seem more laidback and cool. There’s no way for me to untie these things, which is why I often tell people I’m a non-binary woman. You see me and you’re going to treat me like a Black woman. I don’t necessarily hate that because Black women are incredible. Womanhood is beautiful, and I believe it affects femmes so much no matter their gender identity because of how women and femininity are viewed in this world. Your work is featured as the cover of this issue as part of our collaboration as well as stickers available for purchase. What does this piece mean to you? What would you like to say to the readers viewing the cover or purchasing a sticker? This piece means that it’s okay for me to be myself. I am allowed to look like a woman while being nonbinary and Black. I can love pretty clothes, long nails, and large earrings that are visible from a mile away. If you view this sticker and see the person as a woman, I want you to ask yourself why. Unpack your perceptions of the binary just like I do every single day. Unlearning is a process, and you might realize your gender identity isn’t as clear cut as you initially thought as you go along. It’s rad to understand yourself and make a better effort to understand other people. Anything else you'd like to add about your artistry, journey, or experience? If you see someone you know pursuing art, encourage them. I didn’t reach this point by myself. I had so many people lifting me up. I go back and look at pieces I now think are horrible but other people told me was good. Uplift your loved ones, especially the young ones who have no idea what they’re doing and they’re being taught to hate themselves just because they’re marginalized.
“Finding and living through the strength of loving yourself and knowing your worth� Embracing my curves, loving myself, speaking out for intersectional equality
Being whole
confinement
Good On first glance, I thought womanhood was a sexual and physical aspect pertaining to women but when I think about it, that is not what it is. It is more like the greatest care
Katherine Spence
'Strength' An exploration of strength in womanhood, from artists, to individual relationships with self, and women in all their endless individuality across the world.
@gizmo_art86
“I am a collage artist from Melbourne, Australia. I am chronically ill with severe fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. My art practice provides me with an outlet for my creativity and experience of being a woman in a changing world and changing body. My work focuses on the joys and struggles experienced as a woman. I show this through the lens of connectivity with nature, as being a woman has its own ecologically as does the natural world and my physically surroundings.�
'Valour’ celebrating the courage of women, innate and necessary to survive and thrive in the world.
@gizmo_art86
I parted my hair like a prayer Asking God to reveal the love Buried underneath The worldly ideologies That has blinded me from realizing the beauty I was seeking Was in this black body
I cared for my roots My crown of 4c curls Bounced and Danced as I ran my fingers through Tears of coconut oil dripped down my face Convicted by the scarcity in these moments of devotion - Chanel
“Growing up I never felt comfortable identifying as a woman or delving into my femme-ness, and it took a long time for me to detach from those old constructs of cis-normativity and to feel comfortable within my own skin, on my own terms. But even if I couldn't feel comfortable with my own self or sense of womanhood, I could feel comfort in other's and my relationships with other femme identifying peoples. My femme friends are always so nice, so nurturing and understanding and this sense of support was always a two way street, with my understanding that identifying as masc, most tend to default to always taking and never giving, and I couldn't bear the thought of that. Needless to say, I've always found intense strength and a sense of comfort and belonging of my womanhood– despite my transmasc identity—in the relationships I had with other femme identifying peoples like my friends, aunts, and teachers.” - Matthew Penado (@transrebelde), Mixed Media Artist, Queer, 17.
TW: This biographical reflection does include a mention of sexual assault
“Womanhood is such a refined subject that so many of us are still trying to define. What exactly is womanhood? It means such a variety of things to so many people. I can only speak for myself. As a young girl being a "woman" meant being a wife, raising a family, cooking, cleaning…not that my father didn't participate in these everyday "chores“. He was more my dad and my mother actually, holding the family together no matter what life may throw your way. As I went through my childhood and began to identify more with the opposite sex, I collected baseball cards, rode my bike around town, built forts, went fishing, did things that "boys" were supposed to do. I had never given it a second thought, it was what I enjoyed doing and did these things very often with my dad. As I got older, I began to hang out more girls and I got into cheerleading, learning to do my makeup, shave my legs, you know “girl” things. I started to feel and see what it was like to be a “girl”. I still enjoyed all of the activities I had done before but now, I found another part of me and that was ok. Even going into adulthood I was still "finding "myself. I had gone to the doctors at 14 and was told I may never be able to have children, which broke my heart. I met a man who is now my exhusband of 12 1/2yrs. Together, we have 3 children that I am very blessed to have had. At 27, I was divorced with 3 children, now a single mother, and working at first as a preschool teacher. After, I worked as a certified nursing assistant, taking care of the elderly with Alzheimer's and dementia for the last 12 1/2 years. I pushed myself to be a good person, to help others, and show my children (as my dad did), that no matter what life throws at you we'll get through it.
At 34 years old, a traumatic event occurred in my life. My home was broken into and I was sexually assaulted and was taken to the hospital for a rape kit to be done. I was scared, embarrassed, afraid…any and all emotions you could imagine. Later, I had to go through a trial which was the worst year of my life but I got through it. I carried on to show my children that I was a strong woman who wouldn't let anything or anyone destroy my strength and take away every part of my being. I've been beaten and broken but still I carry on. In 2012, I was tested again. I got the horrifying news that I had cervical cancer. Once again, I conjured on. I wasn't going to let anything stop me from seeing my children grow. Why was this happening to me? It has been 6 years and I am cancer free and I try to live everyday like it's the last. I made a bad choice in a relationship, gave up everything I had and moved away thinking it was a chance to start over but in the end this decision would prove again just how strong I would have to be. I am now 40. My children are all grown. I am a cook at a restaurant (which I enjoy) and a security guard at night at a bar. The town I live in is expensive and starting over isn't easy so I am for the first time in my life "homeless". Through days filled with tears and those still filled with laughter, I won't give up. I will get through this too, just as many other things that were supposed to "break" me. I am a woman and to me that means being a strong person, kind, loving, giving, honest, caring, nurturing—someone who others can look up to, confide in, depend on– a role model. Being a woman is about showing the world a human being that will try to better the world and make it a better place for all. “
@nora.grif.art
“The term "woman" carries a lot of power to me, so much so that it is something I feel I haven't grown into yet. There is a kind of womanhood that is prescribed that isn't always followed and I don't think should be, and here I show the two kinds that I alternate between. The differences are not major but to me, they are still present.� - Nora @nora.grif.art
b.d This body is not mine My mind is in completely opposition When I look in the mirror, I do not recognize myself. I didn’t know the person looking back was beautiful, creative, or charismatic. I have to tell myself every day. But I also tell myself other things. That it’s okay I don’t really know who I am. I am not connected to this body I don’t feel like a woman all the time I don’t feel anything most of the time Like an empty vessel going through life, shivering against those who have it all figured out. -Nod’Keya’
“In my experience, being a woman means wanting to identify as myself, but receiving all of these outside opinions on who I should be. It's being critiqued for having new thoughts or ideas and being denied the ability to do what I want without conflict. It's seeing women being denied opportunities because of their gender and unfortunately still seeing the same discrimination happening today. I want to dress in suits, get a short haircut, go out past midnight, direct a film, become president, keep my body hair, or like different people without the ties of what people have predetermined as womanhood. But I also want to shave and wear short dresses and have long hair. I just want the choice to choose who I want to be without judgment.�
-@abstractrea1ist (Bella)
The Clitoris vs Health Class By Grace Wallner
They skimmed over it, easily as anything. I may have been chewing gum, the citrus kind with layers of flavor, during that class, staring blankly at pregnancy diagrams or gazing at the teacher tug a condom over a banana “All you girls should look carefully,” She cackled, blonde hair bouncing. I don’t remember the word even being mentioned, was it poison? or was it sour to the tongue, did it burn on her lips like a lemon, never to be eaten alone, mixed with sugar only for lemonade ground to a pulp or else no good. A burning lemon at a stake. Okay, so they told us it was part of the “vulva,” pictured on the screen for a few curious seconds and then hurried past. The location, too, was very vague Was it above the “vagina” or below? Was mine in the wrong place? I’d never know. No one really knew, because it wasn’t important, as it had nothing to do with reproduction, only pleasure. Female Pleasure? maybe I was absent for that class. I used to suck on lemons at restaurants with my friends, as a contest, they weren’t so bad. She certainly didn’t teach us that it has a taste—a wet sweet one... sort of like an orange, tangy, so maybe more like a grapefruit— or even that you can taste it and what if you’re not really into protected bananas and instead you’re thinking maybe, (scared to death probably), you want that citrus-sweet taste and god forbid they teach you that’s allowed Because attraction is very binary, you see. And, anyway I guess my pleasure isn’t healthy because the class taught us everything there is to know about health. Now look at me, in the eyes please. am I sick? The other day, I fucked my girlfriend in a church.
“Janelle”
a creative nonfiction written by MaryAnne Hafen
“Have all your kids before you’re thirty,” Janelle told me in earnest. “My first five I had by twenty-eight. I got pregnant with my last at thirty-one. Let me tell you: the difference was huge. I did learn early on with having my kids that spreading baby oil over my stomach toward the end of my pregnancy reduced the severity of the stretch marks.” I was fourteen and fascinated. She was gorgeous, this mother of six who lived with them and her successful small business owner husband at the end my street. Her twin girls are my age, beautiful, popular, athletic. Her other kids are also popular and well-adjusted, athletic and attractive. She was petite and curvaceous when I knew her with tanned skin, highlighted hair, and a lively but proportionate face. That baby oil really must have worked--I had seen photos of her in a bikini displaying her toned stomach and sleek thighs at the lake with her family. Janelle was something of a role model not only to me but to my friends, friends of her children, and parents in the community. Six was a lot of kids, but it wasn’t a tremendous anomaly in the religious area where we lived. She wasn’t considered a freak here where elsewhere she may. Instead, she was a marvel: the apotheotic mother for this community. She shuttled her kids to sports and dance practice in a luxury SUV, wore name brand, on-trend clothing, and baked the latest mom-blogger cookie craze. Not only had she given natural birth and was a stay-at-home mom to six great kids, she was stunning, as were her children, each manifesting fortunate family genes, she volunteered, befriended weird teenage girls like me, seemed to genuinely be enjoying each life activity, and she was cool.
By the time I was old enough to leave that religious community, I examined the expectation to have children and devote my life to taking care of them that had been silently instilled within me my entire life. Suddenly, Janelle was no longer an idol, and her obsessions with youthfulness, newness, and her own likeability seemed rather silly. After I left the town I organically grew into new priorities and goals, finding more suitable female role models along the way--some mothers, some not--and largely forgot about her. Several years later I returned to my hometown to attend the wedding of a friend. Janelle attended the bridal shower with one of her twins. We were all sitting in a big circle nodding and laughing as the bride read off the advice, both absurd and serious, that guests had written for her on tiered cake shaped stationary paper earlier in the party. The bride pulled out another piece of the colorful paper from the crystal bowl her grandmother had gifted her: “Have all your kids before you turn thirty,” she read. The older women nodded and murmured agreement. “Actually,” she said brightly, “my fiance and I don’t want any children.” There were chuckles from the same older women. “You say that now!” one of them chirped. “No, we’ve already decided,” the bride repeated with a nervous smile. “We don’t want children.” Janelle cleared her throat and all heads turned, the room silenced. Janelle returned the bride’s smile. “You will, honey. You will.”
MaryAnne Haven works for universities and aspiring authors. When her face isn’t obscured by a book in a coffeehouse, she can be found at a piano bench, or roaming the mountains. (@distinctlyderivative on Instagram)
“For me growing up I thought being picked first, or just not last in gym class, or being the prom queen, being captain of the basketball team, stuff like that made me strong. Saying no to boys when they asked for sex. I knew I was doing the right thing even though I was considered a prude. Hell, if I was then I would have been considered a slut. It’s funny how that works. I thought hanging out with the boys, playing football, showing them that I wasn’t afraid to get dirty, watching WWE and being able to do farm chores or changing my own tires made me strong. Proving my masculinity while still staying feminine was always a weird thing for me. It was hard to find that balance, but the boys always did way cooler shit. I learned being a strong woman means you don’t have to prove to shit to anyone. It means loving yourself when the rest of society says you’re too big or too skinny; too short or too tall. You can’t find peace unless you basically tell society to go fuck itself because, in the end, you’re just a number to them. When you get older, I feel like you start to care less.
I always thought that I had to do everything by myself. My parents taught me to be independent and I think that came with being an only child. I feel like that mindset has been permanently etched into my brain. Obviously, I knew that I could ask for help if I needed it, but if I did then it usually meant that I’ve done everything in my power that I could and have probably almost hurt myself before asking for it. Being a strong woman doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. Heck, being a strong man doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. Part of me thinks that some women feel they have to overcompensate sometimes because so many are pegged as these fragile, helpless creatures when many of the women I know are stronger (be it mentally, emotionally, or physically) than some of the men I know.
Being a strong woman in my eyes means you’re someone who is realistic enough to know what you can do, is grounded enough to know when you need a hand, and is confident enough to know you can ask for help without fear of being judged. A strong woman works hard, she chases what she believes in, and she does it all for herself with God’s blessing, of course. She loves endlessly and shows appreciation to those around her. Most importantly, she isn’t selfish, and once she makes it to where she’s going or accomplishes a goal, she reaches back to help others or if she’s like me, she tries to help them along the way along. People often ask me why I don’t have children. A strong woman balances a marriage, kids, and a full-time job, right? Not everyone goes by the “book” as I’d like to call it. I’m 28 and have the man of my dreams, but it took me a while to find him. Actually, he found me. Sometimes the best relationships come to you when you aren’t looking. I thought that I would be married by now and at least have one child, but I don’t and does that make me weak, hell no?! I am just going about my life differently than most. I’ve learned that a strong woman is patient. Good things come to those that wait.
My boyfriend Dale, who has two nephews, and I find ourselves loving on them as much as we can. Their manners decent; jumping up and down. They are such fun, lovable, little boys. We love them both so much. Even though I’m not a mother, that doesn’t make me any less of a woman. I’m still a woman, a woman who wants to see them succeed no matter what age they are. Womanhood takes upon many different roles, you’ve just got to find whichever one suites you. - C.E
The Womanhood Issue
JAN/FEB
Grace Galore Magazine is a multifaceted digital magazine for creative artists by a creative artists. Through themes and open submissions, the goal is to make space where space is not preferred through our own voices and work.
Keep up with Grace Galore Mag: Website: gracegaloremagazine.com Instagram: @gracegaloremag Twitter: @gracegaloremag Special thanks to the amazing artists behind the submissions: Gabriella Grimes (@ggggrimes) Emerson (@sonnyfaithphotos/@emeswagg18) Katherine Spence (@gizmo_art84) Chanel (@chanel_alexx) Matthew Penado (@transrebelde) Megan Grace Mello (facebook: m.me/megan.g.simpson) Nora Griffith (@nora.grif.art) Bella (@abstractrea1ist) Grace Wallner (@graciewallner) MaryAnne Haven (@distinctlyderivative) Crystal Eastman (@727model)
‘I was asked to create a sticker design relating to the non-binary identity. The design shows a Black non-binary femme with a tattoo across their chest that says ‘Enby Beauty’” – An excerpt from ggggrimes’ Instagram post about the sticker and collaboration.
The sticker is $3.50 (shipping costs included). Send your $3.50 to Venmo (@gracegaloremag) or Paypal (Paypal.me/gracegaloremag). The 1.5”x1.5” is perfect for phone cases, laptops, notebooks— you name it! For your own safety, only share your address with us via email or Instagram DM.
Share the cover or any artist’s work you liked on Instagram—then tag the artist, tag our Instagram handle (@gracegaloremag), and the hashtag #gracegaloremag for a discount! We also will be announcing two giveaways during the year so keep an eye out on our Instagram!
