Grand Cities Woman, V2I1

Volume 2, Issue 1, January | February 2013 Complimentary

Ladies Who Launch

Angie Bjorgaard & Amy Shimek

Save

the Date

January

Mentoring Month

January 12

Socialize

Learn

Please call ahead to confirm events. Promote your March and April events by sending information to grandcitieswoman@live.com or by calling Autumn at (701) 261-2692 by February 1.

January 21 Frosty Fun Day Walhalla

This event is open to all Girl Scouts. Join us while we hit the slopes

Travel Journal

at Frostfire Ski and Snowboard Area. Frostfire offers an opportuni-

Open to Daisy, Brownie and Junior Girl Scouts who love to travel.

enjoyed your whole life. Learn to ski or snowboard and even go

Crookston

Here’s your chance to travel to three amazing destinations and

learn about the culture, food and incredible art. Discover your artistic talent by participating in crafts, let your taste buds be the

judge by trying cultural foods and express yourself as an author

and artist by writing your own book. For more information, contact Program and Learning Specialist, Rachel Downs at 701-7726679 or send an email to rdowns@gsdakotahorizons.org.

ty to learn exciting and healthy outdoor winter sports that can be

tubing! Safety, sportsmanship, and proper conduct are stressed

as well as a good time. The facility, equipment, and professional instructions make the day well worthwhile. We will even learn

about the geology and history of the Pembina Gorge and how Frostfire makes snow. For more information, contact Program

and Learning Specialist, Rachel Downs at 701-772-6679 or send an email to rdowns@gsdakotahorizons.org.

January 12

January 26

Velkommen

8:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

Fiber Arts: Hardanger Style This Norwegian folk art embroidery series and sale showcasing

old world and new techniques with cut and drawn threads by

Else Hjelmstad of Bergen, Norway will be shown through February 28 at Velkommen in downtown Grand Forks. Call 701-7758482 for more information.

January 12 - February 28

Sunshine Fest

The 3rd Annual More Sunshine 3K Indoor Walk and 5K Outdoor

Fun Run is a fundraiser to benefit the building of the Sunshine

Hospitality Home. More information can be found at http://sunshinememorial.org/events2013/sunshine-fest/.

January 27

Grand Cities Children’s Choir &

Scandinavian Chronicles: The Art of Carl Larsson

Northern Valley Youth Orchestra Concert

This is an installation and sale of watercolor prints that provide

3:00 p.m.

Velkommen

insight into Larsson’s family life and painting techniques.

January 16

Chester Fritz Auditorium

January 29

Greater Grand Forks Young Professionals CashMob

Dak Minn Blood Bank Grand Opening

Ferguson Books

Tour Dak Minn Blood Bank’s new space at 3375 Demers Avenue

This event is a chance to learn more about a local business and

4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.

and learn about the impact that Dak Minn has on our local health care.

6:00 p.m.

is open to the public, so grab your friends and stop by for a night

of fun! Contact Matthew Dehnert at 701-795-6148 for more information.

January 18

Greater Grand Forks Young Professional’s Annual Launch Alerus Center

February

Relationship Wellness Month

5:30 – Social

6:00 – Dinner

6:30 – A look back at 2012

7:00 – Goal launch for 2013 and beyond 7:30 – Celebration

This event is sponsored by the Greater Grand Forks Young Profes-

sionals, Altru Health System, and Xcel Energy. To purchase tickets, go to www.ggfyp.com.

January 18

February 1

American Heart Association’s 10th Annual National Wear Red Day

All day in North Dakota

Contact Joan Enderle at 701-252-5122 or send an email to joan.

enderle@heart.org for more information. Resources can be found at www.goredforwomen.org/wearreddday.

February 2

Girl Scouts—Dakota Horizons Annual Cookie Rally

UND Ensembles Showcase

1:00 to 3:00 p.m.

4:00 p.m.

This event is open to all Girls Scouts, family, friends, and the public.

Chester Fritz Auditorium

Grand Cities Mall Grand Forks, ND

Join us as we gear up and kick off the 2013 Girl Scouts Cookie Sale

January 20

at the G.S.D.H. Annual Cookie Rally. We will have games and in-

Honor Band and Choir Concert

formational booths and of course cookies to taste so you’ll know

1:30 p.m.

community will have all your favorite Girl Scout cookies in-hand

Chester Fritz Auditorium

what to order when it’s Girl Scout cookie time. Girl Scouts in your

for you to purchase from February 9 through March 9. Eight varieties of cookies including everyone’s favorite—Thin Mints will be

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January|February 2013

Explore

available. If Caramel DeLites are your passion, then we have those

too. In addition, Cookie Shops will be set up at various businesses

throughout each community to accommodate today’s busy lifestyle. Customers can go to www.gsdakotahorizons.org and click

on the Cookie Shop link to find a searchable listing of the nearby Cookie Shops or call the Cookie Hotline at 1-800-666-2141.

February 2

Cookie Creation Contest 2:00 to 3:00 p.m.

Grand Cities Mall

Girl Scouts, family, and friends are invited to take part in creating tantalizing desserts using Girl Scout brand cookies. Each recipe

entry participant will receive two boxes of Girl Scout cookies in order to create their dessert. Recipe entries must be submitted

to the Grand Forks Girl Scout office by January 25, via the Cookie Creation Contest official entry form. Entries will be limited to the first 25 recipes. For complete rules and entry form contact Pro-

gram and Learning Specialist, Rachel Downs at 701-772-6679 or send an email to rdowns@gsdakotahorizons.org.

February 2

American Heart Association 2013 Masquerade Heart Ball 5:00 p.m. to midnight

Hilton Garden Inn – 4351 17th Ave S, Fargo, ND

This event will include a silent and live auction, dinner, and dancing. For more information, go to www.redrivervalleyheartball.org.

For sponsorship opportunities, call Tom Jones at 605-787-8808 or 1-800-437-9710.

February 19

Experience the Beatles with Rain Chester Fritz Auditorium 7:30 p.m.

From the early hits to later classics, this adoring tribute will take you back to a time when all you needed was love and a little help from your friends!

February 23

Extreme North Dakota Iceman Triathlon (END-IT) 9:00 a.m.

Lincoln Park, Grand Forks

Cross country ski, bike, and run as an individual or team in this fun, winter outdoor triathlon. For more details and to register, go to www.endracing.com/end-it.

February 26

Mediterranean Cooking Demo 5:30 to 6:30 p.m.

Choice Community Room

Led by Registered Dietitians from Altru Health System, learn the

benefits of a Mediterranean Diet while discovering some quick and easy ways to prepare appetizers, salads, and entrees. Cost is

$10, which includes a recipe booklet and taste tests. You must register for this class by calling 701.732.7620.

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2013 January|February

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Publisher Information PUBLISHER Graber Media, LLC MANAGING EDITOR/AD SALES Autumn Graber, (701) 261-2692 CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER Kelly Graber, (701) 740-3848 ADVERTISING SALES Mary Glessner, (701) 330-3150 COPY EDITOR MariLou Harveland DESIGN/LAYOUT Autumn Graber Mail correspondence to: GRAND CITIES WOMAN PO BOX 5503 GRAND FORKS, ND 58206 Connect with us! grandcitieswoman@live.com www.grandcitieswoman.com www.facebook.com/grandcitieswoman

Messages sent to us by email or Facebook might be used in future issues of Grand Cities Woman.

Printed in North Dakota. © 2012 Graber Media, LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Grand Cities Woman Magazine assumes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or photographs. Grand Cities Woman Magazine does not necessarily endorse or agree with content of articles or advertising presented.

This magazine is printed on an environmentally certified paper that contains a 10% post-consumer waste. FSC® (Forest Stewardship Council™) is an international, non-profit association that promotes wellmanaged forests by ensuring forestry practices that are environmentally responsible, socially equitable, and economically viable.

If you would like to become a contributor to Grand Cities Woman, please contact us via email at grandcitieswoman@live.com or call us at 701-261-2692. We are currently searching for experts in their industry to submit articles relevant to women in our area.

Distributed by Graber Media, LLC through the following locations: If you would like to provide Grand Cities Woman to your clients or customers, please contact us by phone at 701-261-2692 or by email at grandcitieswoman@live.com.

Grand Cities

Hugo’s locations in Grand Forks and East Grand Forks SuperOne in Grand Forks

Velkommen in Grand Forks

WOMAN 4

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January|February 2013

Shopping Guide Hot Spots to Shop

Find these items and more through local retailers. When purchasing an item that you’ve seen in our shopping guide, make sure you tell them that you saw it in Grand Cities Woman. Claims that products make in the Grand Cities Woman Shopping Guide are of product manufactures’ and not of Grand Cities Woman or Graber Media.

This handbag has an urban rustic vibe with botanical inspired tones. All Maruca handbags are kindly made in Boulder, CO and are available locally at True Colors. $80.00 Liven up your Saturday night Sudoku tournament with these Vino Freeze mixers. Sangria, margarita, and wine ice flavors mixed with your favorite merlot or Cabernet will complement the evening. These flavors are available at Elaine’s House of Dreams in Lakota. $10.50

Norvell®, a name synonymous with ground breaking sunless tanning innovation continues to develop and manufacture technological breakthroughs in the sunless industry. Amber Sun products can be found at Sublime Aesthetic Professionals.

This table lamp with a curved metal finish can be found at Sterling Carpet One. Make 2013 the best year yet for all of your Scandinavian special occasions by baking the traditional Norwegian kransekake (celebration cake). You’ll love the easy clean up with these (6) graduating, non-stick forms from the area’s #1 resource Velkommen, downtown Grand Forks.

Boxed, recipes and instructions included $39.95 Add a dramatic flourish to your bedside or favorite arm chair with the romantic Logan Jr. table lamp. This lamp is available at Sterling Carpet One. The skin on your hands is especially susceptible to damage. That’s why we’ve created BC Spa Manicure Extreme Repair Hand Creme. With this amazing product, you can soften and smooth your hands while delivering moisture to protect against dehydration and the signs of future damage.

This product is available through BeautiControl Representative, Yolanda Cox, at www.beautipage.com/yolandacox.

Once the holiday décor no longer dawns your windows and doors and your tree is packed away until next year, start over with new wall prints from Elaine’s House of Dreams in Lakota. Elaine’s has many prints to choose from and is accepting new inventory daily. $48.95 The Jenkins Non-Chiming Mantel Clock is a two-sided sofa table clock that is finished in antique brushed brass and is suspended from a bent metal scroll stand that sits on a cast base. The aged parchment dial offers black Arabic numerals, black hour and minute hands, and a glass crystal. This clock can be found at Home of Economy.

This is a two-step program that helps target the key signs of aging skin in the eye area. Bio Serum Intensive Spot Treatment and Lumier Eye cream is available at Rejuv Skin and Laser Clinic. $135.00

Obagi Elastiderm Day Eye Gel fills in the missing piece of the anti-aging puzzle. It helps to improve elasticity for firmer, more youthful-looking skin. It provides a visible reduction in the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Obagi Elastiderm Day Eye Gel is available at Rejuv Skin and Laser Clinic. $99.00

Handcrafted furniture with a reputation for durability is what you will find in Best Home Furnishings products.

This chair is available at Home of Economy.

Carmel DeLites® Girl Scouts will be selling cookies starting on February 9 through March 9. To purchase your favorite, call your local Girl Scout office at 701-772-6679 or go to www.gsdakotahorizons. org/for-girls/get-involved/ cookies to place an order.

Circle E Candles are not your typical candle. To create the signature candles we are known for the longest-burning and most delightfully fragrant candles on the market. A variety of scents are available at True Colors. $24.00

Next stop, brunch…or travel light in one of Oleana’s newest light-weight couture (longsleeve knitwear designs), straight from the studio/workshop in Espeland, Norway. Available exclusively from Velkommen, downtown Grand Forks.

Size, selection vary $339.00 - $379.00 Thin Mints® Girl Scouts will be selling cookies starting on February 9 through March 9. To purchase your favorite, call your local Girl Scout office at 701-772-6679 or go to www. gsdakotahorizons.org/forgirls/get-involved/cookies to place an order.

Easily and accurately weigh ingredients for recipes and portion sizes. Place foods directly on the glass platform or weigh them in a bowl. The tare feature resets the scale to zero to let you measure multiple ingredients in the same bowl and is available through Pampered Chef Director and Trainer, Julie Haakenson, at www.pamperedchef.biz/ juliehaak. $39.50

VivierSkin® Platiné is the latest innovation from Vivier Pharma. Featuring the Peptide CR Eye Crème, Peptide CR Complex and Peptide CR Crème, this premium family of products is formulated with pharmaceutical grade advanced peptide technology, Vitamin C and Retinol. This product is available at Sublime Aesthetic Professionals.

This Grill Pan Dinner Set is available through Pampered Chef Director and Trainer, Julie Haakenson, at www.pamperedchef.biz/juliehaak. $216.25

BC Spa Manicure Instant Manicure softens and moisturizes your hands and cuticles with Dead Sea salts that gently exfoliate dead skin cells.

You will experience the wonders of natural oils as they nourish, moisturize and protect your hands and nails. This product is available through BeautiControl Representative, Yolanda Cox, at www. beautipage.com/yolandacox.

2013 January|February

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Financial & Care Inventory Saves Time & Frustration Written by Karen M. Grainger

Each year, thousands of Americans are thrust into the uncomfortable role of making financial and care decisions for their senior family members or untangling a family member’s financial records. The task can be time-consuming, expensive, and stressful for those unprepared for this responsibility.

Fortunately, there is a simple remedy to reducing the stress connected to these crises: communication. By informing loved ones, in advance, of the location of your key financial documents—in addition to your care directives and wishes—you can greatly reduce the stress that your loved ones will face when dealing with your illness, disability, or death.

Though raising the subject might create momentary awkwardness for both parties, it is far better for seniors to inform family member of their wishes in advance of a care crisis rather than forcing family members to guess what they would have wanted.

Clear communication can also eliminate the problem of assets not passing to the correct beneficiaries because they were never aware that the asset (or financial account or contract) existed.

Spelling out the location of these accounts and your care wishes ensures that your loved ones have the information that they need to provide for your care or handle your estate.

A financial and care inventory can help your loved ones carry on in the event of your incapacitation or death. It provides loved ones with a roadmap to critical information. It is focused on the “where,” not the “what,” of your financial holdings. The inventory is not a legal document, and it need not divulge personal or confidential details that you are unprepared to share. However,

it should help your loved ones quickly locate your financial, legal, care, and legacy records should a crisis occur.

This inventory should be updated at least annually, and copies should be given to your loved ones, lawyer, or executor, or placed in a secure location where your loved ones can find it.

While each family’s inventory will differ, the inventory should include information related to where your loved ones can find the following: 1. Living wills/health care directives 2. Insurance contracts (health, life, long-term care, annuities, auto, homeowners, & so on) 3. Wills, trusts, and deeds 4. Bank accounts and investments/investment accounts 5. Credit card accounts and outstanding debt 6. Contact information for lawyers, accountants, brokers, & agents 7. Jewelry and other valuables 8. Essential keys 9. Instructions related to funeral arrangements 10. Personal instructions or messages 11. Location of birth, marriage, and military discharge certificates 12. Information related to charitable gifts

By providing your family members with this information prior to a crisis, you can eliminate a great deal of potential stress.

There is no better gift than providing your loved ones with a sense of comfort in the midst of life’s uncertainties and troubles. [GCW]

Karen M. Grainer | Writer Karen is a Financial Representative for Thrivent Financial helping her clients with retirement planning, long term care, life, health, disability insurance, charitable giving, and investing. Karen is originally from Wisconsin. She met her husband of 17 years working at a dude ranch in Colorado during her college days. Her husband grew up in East Grand Forks (Senior High class of ’90) and practices law at The Neil Law firm in town. Karen and Mark have two sons, Connor (15) and Paul (12).

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January|February 2013

CAUTION! Diversion Suspected Written by Rachel Horton

For several years, an upsetting trend has occurred in our community. When walking the aisles of our local drug stores, grocery stores, or superstores, you can find “professional” hair care products like Paul Mitchell, Bumble and Bumble, Big Sexy, American Crew, and other brands on store shelves.

It might seem like you are getting a “deal,” but you’re not. Purchasing your hair care products at these stores might seem worthwhile because you can simultaneously purchase groceries, shoes, bath towels, and books, but it’s not advisable.

These products are diverted, meaning that they were potentially channeled through the gray or black market. The professional hair care industry gives a “diverted” title to product(s) when a professional-use only product appears in stores or websites that do not have permission or professional recommendation. In most cases, manufacturers can only guarantee their product when it is purchased from a licensed cosmetologist or hair salon. Manufacturers invest millions of dollars to extensively train hairdressers on the proper use of these products. In turn, we as hairdressers can share our expertise with our clients when recommending products for their hair type and condition.

Chelsea Gjovik, hairdresser at The Ultimate Look, said, “I’ve seen clients self-prescribe their own hair needs and do damage. They over protein-load their hair with treatments and make their hair brittle. We are the professionals, and like a doctor [who prescribes medicine according to patients’ needs], we know what is best for each individual hair type. So why not get a prescription, from a pro, that is right for your hair?”

The contents of these products can be approaching their maximum shelf life or have already spoiled under manufacturers’ specifications. At worst, they have been tampered with or might be counterfeit. Recently sold counterfeit products were independently tested, finding harmful levels of bacteria that could potentially make the user sick enough to require medical care.

“Products could be old or even damaged from floods or fires. There could even be additives that people put into it. You have no idea what you are getting,” said Carly Michels of Carly’s Cuts and Color.

I am not implying that certain stores in our community are knowingly selling these diverted or counterfeit products and, like other businesses, buy products from varying sources. The issue is that the source of these products is unauthorized and the stores cannot guarantee that their products are genuine.

“Aveda is very strict with whom they sell their products to, which make it very hard for them to get diverted. I then have the chance to educate my clients on what to use,” says Aveda stylist Corissa Heinz.

Stores are not authorized to sell or distribute professional hair care products. Moreover, because these products bounce from place to place before hitting the shelves, they end up costing more than what you would pay in a hair salon or with an independent stylist. In severe cases, some companies have manipulated labels and avoided trademark laws by a slight manipulation of the product logo.

The only way that consumers can confidently buy and use authentic professional hair care products is when purchasing them within a hair salon or through an independent hair stylist.

Some professional hair care companies that have not been diverted and pride themselves on staying out of these stores are Kenra, Woody’s Grooming, Aquage, Aveda, Wella, Pureology, and more.

Support your local hairstylists and businesses by allowing them the opportunity to prescribe you the best product for your hair type and needs. [GCW]

Rachel Horton | Writer Rachel Horton is a local hairstylist that owns her own salon booth, called “The Hair Movement,” within the Ultimate Look outlet. Originally from Rosemount, Minnesota, Rachel came to Grand Forks to pursue a degree in Nursing and Theatre at UND. After a change of heart, Rachel decided to follow her passion for beauty and hair and pursued cosmetology at the Aveda Institute in Minneapolis, Minnesota. After graduating from the Institute, Rachel moved back to Grand Forks to work at an Aveda salon. Rachel married her high school sweetheart and they just welcomed their first child, Elliott, in September. After a challenging pregnancy, Rachel pursued her own business so that she could spend more time with her family and son. Rachel and her family are happy to call Grand Forks home.

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The Trifecta

Three Queens are Crowned and Funds Raised for Children’s Miracle Network Photography by Manstrom Photography | Written by Autumn Graber

There is a new queen in town. Correction, there are three new queens in town. Grand Forks recently crowned the trifecta at the Empire Arts Center in front of a large group of parents, grandparents, and supportive friends toting signs of encouragement for their favorite contestant.

Nineteen young women vied for the titles of Miss Grand Forks, Miss Empire, and Miss Grand Cities. The event was full of entertainment from not only the contestants, but also current titleholders from the surrounding area—including Miss Minnesota and Miss North Dakota—all performing their talents for the audience.

These young women competed in a private, tenminute interview with judges earlier in the day, where they had to pitch their platform and answer questions about current issues. Following an afternoon of mental preparation and on-stage practicing, the girls went onstage to perform their opening number for the audience, answer on8

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January|February 2013

stage questions, and compete in the swimming suit, talent, and evening gown competitions.

Paige Meyer, Miss Grand Cities 2012

Paige Meyer is from Perham and anticipates graduating from Jamestown College in 2015. Her platform issue is “Raise a Hand: Making Quality Education the Answer.”

Meyer plans to collaborate with community members, schools, and organizations to promote her platform. “As the first Miss Grand Cities, I will capitalize on every opportunity to share my talents, personal convictions, and dreams of ensuring quality education for every child,” said Meyer.

“As Miss Grand Cities 2012, my mission consists of interweaving communities for a larger purpose; a purpose to see their young generations succeed in and beyond the classroom.”

Cara Mund, Miss Empire 2012

Cara Mund is from Bismarck and is a freshman at Brown University. Her platform issue is “A Make-A-Wish Passion with Fashion.” Mund began her involvement in the Make-A-Wish program after losing a friend to cancer and another friend began her battle with the disease.

“When Amber passed away, Kayla was not doing well,” said Mund. “I was afraid that I would lose her too. I talked to Kayla about the impact Make-A-Wish could have in providing her hope.” Cara’s friend Ashley was already in the wish-granting process, but her wish was more expensive than average. “I knew at that moment I had to do something.” Cara decided to create a fashion show fundraiser to raise money for Kayla’s wish and to dedicate the show in Amber’s memory. Her first show raised $2,517 and Kayla received her wish a few weeks later. “Make-A-Wish contacted me and asked if I would make the fashion show an annual event.” Cara agreed and this last show marked her fourth fashion show fundraiser. “Within the last four years, I have independently raised $23,655 for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.”

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Laura Harmon, Miss Grand Forks 2012

Laura Harmon is from Grand Forks and is a senior at the University of North Dakota. Her platform issue is “Energy Kids!” Harmon believes our society is faced with the crisis of pollution, excessive waste, and the exhaustion of our natural resources. “Many people are not aware of the environmental consequences caused by their daily activities,” said Harmon.

Laura explained that by educating our youth about this crisis, we can positively influence our world’s future. She has a twopoint plan that includes education and empowerment. “I will share with classrooms the issues that are negatively affecting our environment and the consequences that stem from them.” Harmon also plans to give students easy ways to minimize their impact on the environment.

The impact that this pageant has on the community is evident throughout the Red River Valley. Every year, contestants must solicit at least one hundred dollars in financial donations to the Children’s Miracle Network. This year’s 19 Miss Grand Forks, Miss Empire, and Miss Grand Cities contestants raised more than four thousand dollars for the foundation.

Miss Grand Cities contestant, Michelle Stahlecker, was recognized for raising the most funds and was awarded the 2013 Miracle Maker Award by a Sanford Children’s Hospital patient.

If your business or organization will be holding an event suitable for these titleholders to attend and speak about their platform issues, contact the Miss Grand Forks Pageant to make arrangements. “Having our titleholders present throughout the Grand Cities community not only benefits the function, but [also] allows our young representatives the practice needed in preparing to become Miss North Dakota or Miss Minnesota,” said Caroline Brost, Executive Director.

You can watch Miss North Dakota, Rosie Sauvageau, and Miss Minnesota, Siri Freeh, compete for Miss America on January 12, at 8:00 p.m. (CST) on ABC. In June, 2013 the newly crowned Miss Grand Forks and Miss Empire will compete for Miss North Dakota in Williston, and Miss Grand Cities will compete for Miss Minnesota. If you are interested in learning more about the pageant, you can contact the pageant’s business manager, Aly Wilhelmi-Downs, at 701-256-0217 or you can send an email to missgrandforks@yahoo.com. [GCW]

2013 January|February

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2013 January|February

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Couples Conflict: How to Fight Fair and Stay Sweethearts Written by Kristine Paranica, JD

Most couples, whether happily married or simply dating, have arguments from time to time. It’s a normal and inevitable part of being in an intimate, human relationship, and it’s good.

Arguing is useful because it is a way in which we can manage our differences, set boundaries, and learn to trust each other. To be our true selves and open our hearts, we need to feel safe enough to say “no” or “back off” and then respect each other enough to abide by these boundaries.

Couples who don’t argue occasionally might actually be deceiving themselves or others; they might be avoiding conflict out of fear of hurting the other person. However, when we don’t voice our concerns, resentment often mounts, creating the potential for larger conflict in the future. When avoiding open and honest communication about our challenges, we hinder personal learning and growth, and the relationship risks growing stagnate.

We can feel undervalued, unloved, and unappreciated; however, the blame is ours for not finding that voice, rather than with the other person, who is expected to read our minds.

Step One: Recognizing Emotional Needs There is a way to fight fairly and stay sweethearts. The first step is to recognize our own needs and emotional connection to them.

In your relationship, you might have a need for companionship, autonomy, fun, or friendship. Sometimes, these needs might 12

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compete for attention—such as wanting companionship, but only after you have had some time with friends away from your partner. One important aspect of this step is to recognize that you are responsible for meeting your own needs. Your relationship is not a puzzle, where your partner fills in the missing piece.

Individually, you are each a whole person. Your responsibility is to find strategies that meet your needs, and when necessary, negotiate strategies with your partner so that all needs are met to your collective satisfaction. For example, you can establish a datenight to meet your joint needs for fun and intimacy, and then plan a “girls/guys night” to allow for autonomy and friendship.

Another part of this step is to understand and acknowledge your own feelings. For example, when your partner stays out late and doesn’t call, consider your emotions in that moment and determine whether it is fear or envy that you feel. When your mate surprises you with flowers, do you feel joy or appreciation?

People often find themselves lacking these emotional descriptors, thus limiting the ability to communicate clearly. Develop your vocabulary and practice naming your emotions. One misconception some women might have is that men are afraid of talking about their emotions; however, it could simply be a case of confusion over mixed messages that their partner is sending.

For that reason, it is important to practice emotional descriptors to eliminate confusion and encourage open dialogue.

Correctly identifying emotions can also help to avoid the mistake of blaming our partners for how we feel. The phrase, “You make me so mad!” is a perfect example of an incorrect emotional descriptor.

Rationally, we all know that no one can make you angry; however, angry is how we feel based on our belief about the situation. For example, a husband stays out until 2:00 a.m. without phoning his wife to tell her that he’ll be out late. The wife believes that he is acting selfishly and becomes angry as a result. In reality, the wife could have initially experienced fear that something had gone wrong; however, when he returns, her fear immediately turns to anger and she begins to play the blame-game: It’s your fault that I’m mad.” In this situation, she chose anger rather than identifying her true emotion as fear and communicating how worried she was. Identifying and communicating her emotion would have circumvented an argument and encouraged open dialogue to help them create strategies for similar future occurrences.

Step Two: Clearly Communicating Needs

The second step to fighting fairly is to let your partner know when your needs are not being met, that your feelings are hurt, and what you require from them to have your needs (and theirs) met. For example, you could make a statement such as: When you come home late and haven’t replied to my calls or texts, I feel scared and disappointed because my needs for safety, trust, and respect aren’t met. Would you be willing to let me know when you will be late to assure me that you are safe? At this point, it becomes a negotiation because while your needs for safety, trust, and respect need to be met, so do his needs for autonomy, friendship, and fun. If you are both committed to loving and respecting each other, reasonable compromises are possible.

Step Three: Listen to Your Partner

The third step is to acknowledge what your partner is saying. By use of another example: Your partner is upset by your lack of assistance at home. Rather than becoming defensive—which typically results in longer, more destructive arguments—consider acknowledging his feelings and needs instead. That conversation might sound like this: When you see me watching T.V. rather than helping around the house, do you feel irritated and stressed because your need for cooperation and relaxation are not being met? This language might seem odd, but if you adapt it to fit your own communication style, it really works.

Conversationally, you could state something more along these lines: I’m sorry. I know you are tired and want to relax too. If you want, you can come and watch T.V. with me now, and then I’ll clean the kitchen when the program is over.

Conflict in relationships isn’t easy, but several studies indicate that it’s necessary. The use and acceptance of humor and sincere apology throughout stressful disagreements is an indication of strong relationships. Another sign of strong relationships is the ability to learn, grow, and change to ensure that your and their needs are met. How can you use the positive energy of conflict and stay sweetheart? What are you willing to do to use the positive energy of conflict and stay sweethearts? [GCW]

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Kristine Paranica, JD | Writer Kristine has been the Director of the Conflict Resolution Center at the University of North Dakota since 1999 and has been providing training and education in transformative mediation, conflict management, and other processes for over 12 years. She is nationally recognized as a Certified Transformative Mediator™.

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Future Hospitality Home Honors Shannon “Sunshine” Larson Written by Autumn Graber

“Shannon’s nickname was Sunshine,” smiled Van Larson. “Even as a little girl, she would walk into a room and it would light up because she always had that smile and was always happy.” Van beams as he recounts parts of his daughter’s life to me. He recalls her special gift of being a hugger. “When she was 8 years old, she was a hugger for the Special Olympics.”

Van looks away as he reminisces about watching his daughter encourage the swimmers to finish their laps and then congratulate them with a soggy hug right after popping out of the pool. Huggers for the Special Olympics are a group of volunteers that encourage the athletes during competition and then reward them with a hug whether they win or lose. “She was the best hugger they ever had—according to them.”

Shannon Larson and her fiancé Matt were hiking in Usery Mountain Park on September 8, 2007 when she began to feel weak. “They hadn’t brought along enough water and weren’t dressed properly for the weather down in Arizona, and about three quarters of the way down, Shannon started experiencing heat exhaustion and so Matt carried her for a large portion of the way,” said Katie Langlie, Development Director for Sunshine Memorial Foundation. “At one point, he couldn’t make it any more so he just took off running to the car and went to the ranger station to get help.” Shortly after Matt returned to Shannon’s location with help, she passed away from heat stroke and dehydration.

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The day after Shannon passed away, Van received calls from Arizona newspapers and radio stations wanting to interview him. “They asked ‘if they could call back in a few days’ and my answer was ‘no,’ we’ll talk now,” he said.

Van, his wife Dee, and son Donovan wanted to turn this horrible situation into something good, so they founded the Sunshine Memorial Foundation and planned the “More Sunshine Walk and Fun Run” event, which today is called “Sunshine Fest.”

“Shannon would do anything for anybody,” said Van. Because of this, the foundation’s mission isn’t specifically related to dehydration and heat stroke education. “Our foundation is built for health and wellness,” said Van.

Van, the Larson family, and the newly appointed foundation board of directors wanted to fill a gap in the Grand Forks area. After determining a Hope Lodge and Ronald McDonald House were not an option for the Grand Forks area, they decided to create a hospitality house of their own. “We arrived at a house that is 12 to 15 thousand square feet with 25 beds. It will serve everybody,” said Van. “We will probably charge a small amount, but if somebody can’t pay, we wouldn’t turn them away.”

The Sunshine Hospitality Home would be a place to stay for people and their families coming to Grand Forks for health care. The home would be an option for those parents needing a place to stay while their newborn is in Neonatal Intensive Care or families traveling a great distance to be with a loved one after a car accident. These types of events aren’t planned and when someone is in search of a place to stay, it can cause more stress during an already stressful time. The Sunshine Hospitality Home hopes to ease the burden of finding a place to rest your head.

The Sunshine Hospitality Home, named for Van and Dee’s daughter, will be a facility constructed in the Grand Forks community, but will be a resource used by people from surrounding communities who are coming to Grand Forks for health care. “It’s a regional project,” said Van.

The facility is still in its concept phase, but the plans include a community-driven main floor so people can receive support from other families and community members. The main floor would include a great room, business center, and play area. “As you go up to the second and third floors, they would be more private so [guests] can get that privacy they are seeking,” said Langlie.

“Everybody grieves differently, everybody goes through things differently, and we want to make sure we cater to all those different needs.”

The foundation is hoping to open the doors of the Sunshine Hospitality Home in the spring of 2015, but that can’t happen until the funds are raised to construct the building. The foundation plans to reveal the building plans and location at this year’s Sunshine Fest event held at the Ralph Englestad Arena.

Sunshine Fest consists of a 3k indoor walk around the concourse and a 5k run outside around the Ralph Engelstad Arena. Inside the arena will be a health fair, along with a basket raffle that includes prizes totaling over twelve thousand dollars.

The Altru Alliance is their first official financial partner on the project.

“They have been contributors to both our house project and our foundation builders program,” said Langlie. “They have been very generous to us.”

In addition to the Sunshine Fest event in Grand Forks, neighboring communities are planning their own 5k run events to help raise funds for the project.

Sunshine Fest will be held on Saturday, January 26 at Ralph Engelstad Arena from 8:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. You can pre-register for the event by going to www.sunshinememorial.org by January 19 for your chance to win an iPad. When registering, provide the username of “sunshine fest” and the password of “2013”. [GCW]

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This Day Written by Shannon Teigen

{Dreaded Tasks}

Last summer, my husband and I were on one of our road trips for an appointment that I had in Bismarck. We kept in mind all the road construction around the area, so left an hour earlier than normal thinking that would allow us plenty of drive time.

Theory and reality were soon clashing. As we sat waiting for a pilot car just south of Harvey, we calculated that, even with the full hour of extra time allotted for the drive, we were still going to be 45 minutes late.

Irritation set in as I thought of calling ahead to announce our delay. You know that irritable feeling when you need to do something, but you really dread doing it? As I stewed about my situation, I turned the pages of the magazine that I was reading, no longer reading the words, just blindly flipping by each colorful advertisement, picture, and article. The snapping sound of the pages got louder and snappier with each turn of the page.

Admitting that I was going to be late was not what I wanted to do. My mom taught us girls to always be on time. Mom has been, is, and always will be someone who is on time. Nope, that’s not right. She is always early! While growing up, we were conditioned to understand that we were “late” if we were on time.

Not a bad principle to stand on, but on this day, the deep-seeded conditioning of being on time (or early) combined with the road

construction delay was causing conflict and irritation for me.

For twenty minutes I stewed—while snapping the pages of that magazine—about making that call. Tension filled the car and I’m certain my husband’s “wife radar” was alerting him to just keep the car moving and remain silent. You know the saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Finally, I turned my attention to my phone and dialed. I pleasantly explained the situation and silently prayed that they had time for me later in the day so our hideously lengthy drive to Bismarck wasn’t in vain.

Relief washed over me as the receptionist stated that according to their schedule, my appointment actually wasn’t until later that afternoon, allowing us ample time to maneuver through the road construction. The appointment card I was given had the wrong time written on it all along. Stewing over making that dreaded call wasted 20 minutes of happiness. If I had just made the call right away, we would have known early on that we had plenty of time and I wouldn’t have been stressed by the situation.

The lesson I learned: Don’t waste your time stewing over dreaded tasks. When you come upon something that you really don’t want to do, I encourage you to do it right away. Complete the task and put it behind you so you can enjoy the rest of this day. [GCW]

Shannon Teigen | Writer Shannon writes from her rural hobby ranch that is nestled in the peace and quiet of the North Dakota countryside. Her family, consisting of her husband, two teenage daughters, and one son, is the farthest thing from being peaceful and quiet, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything. After graduating from UND, Shannon established her career with foundation blocks of marketing, sales, customer service, human relations, and communications.

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We all aspire to look healthy and attractive, but in this media-saturated world it would be easy to believe that such results can only be achieved through costly and painful procedures. Plastic surgery is a growing industry, and our preoccupation with celebrities focuses an inordinate amount of attention on those who would do (or pay) anything to attain their own standards of ideal beauty.

Photography by Katie Brock Photography | Written by Autumn Graber

Sublime Aesthetic Professionals A recent article written for the International Association for Physicians in Aesthetic Medicine highlights a growing number of Americans who are aiming for a more natural form of beauty, one achieved through much less invasive means. “People don’t necessarily want to look different,” said Angie Bjorgaard, Certified Aesthetic Consultant and Aesthetic Nurse Injector for Sublime Aesthetic Professionals.

“They just want to look beautiful.”

Modern aesthetic professionals, like those at Sublime, specialize in non-surgical beauty enhancement. Popular treatments include “injectables” such as Botox® and Dysport® for reducing frown lines, dermal fillers to improve laugh lines and en-

hance lips, skin resurfacing to minimize marks and scars, chemical peels, teeth whitening, body waxing and more. “We still refer clients to surgeons when the circumstances call for it,” said Angie. “But when they want noticeable results without lengthy recovery time, we have a lot of excellent treatment options.”

More and more, clients seek help in maintaining the confidence that comes from a healthy appearance. “The job market is very competitive, and people want to look youthful and vibrant,” added Angie. “It gives them an advantage that they may not otherwise have.” Sublime’s slogan says it all: You’ll know and they’ll notice.

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A Cool Idea For Eliminating Love Handles

Sublime also offers CoolSculpting®, a revolutionary non-surgical contouring treatment that freezes fat, which is then naturally eliminated from your body. No needles are used in the procedure and there is no downtime for the patient. In CoolSculpting, the patient simply rests on a spa-type bed for about an hour while the machine draws love handles and other areas of fat into a specialized suction device. Fat cells are then cooled.

Results start to appear within a few weeks and are often dramatic in eight to 12 weeks.

According to Amy Shimek, Nurse Practitioner and owner of Sublime Aesthetic Professionals, “There is minimal discomfort, and once patients see how much fat is eliminated, they are thrilled.”

Ideal candidates for CoolSculpting are women who want to lose excess fat in any area where they can pinch up at least one inch of fat. “We are dealing with subcutaneous fat right underneath the skin,” said Angie.

“It must be flexible enough to be drawn into the device.” Unsurprisingly, CoolScupting is attracting more customers than just women.

Angie and Amy have treated male clients ranging from farmers to military personnel.

CoolSculpting costs just $1,500 for one treatment and $2,400 for two treatments.

With CoolSculpting there are no diet or exercise plans to follow. If you maintain your weight, results can be permanent. According to Amy, “It’s a great option for people with extra fat that they just can’t seem to lose.”

“There is minimal discomfort, and once patients see how much fat is eliminated, they are thrilled.”

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New Technologies In Beauty

New aesthetic treatments are addressing some of humanity’s most persistent beauty issues. For example, professionals are now able to address excessive underarm sweat (known medically as hyperhidrosis) with Botox® or Dysport®. This unique treatment has proven to be surprisingly effective. “We just inject it into the skin, so it basically decreases the pump that creates sweat,” said Angie. “The results can last up to a year.”

“Our newest treatment is the Dermapen®,” added Angie. “It’s used to treat skin discoloration like melasma or hyperpigmentation. It’s a less expensive, less risky alternative to a fractionated laser.” In fact, Angie herself has experienced the Dermapen® from a patient’s point of view. “It’s a cluster of 10 needles, and it simply vibrates,” said Angie. “One treatment takes about 15 minutes.” A series of Dermapen® treatments can improve acne and surgical scarring, stretch marks, skin laxity, melasma and hyperpigmentation.

Unique Thinking

As the non-invasive aesthetics industry has begun to mature, Sublime has differentiated itself with unique offerings.

For example, Sublime offers service and treatment “packages” for clients seeking specific results (examples include skin care plans and body therapy plans). “All of the treatments are included and mapped out for you, with one package price,” said Angie.

Sublime’s focus on personal relationships has been just as critical to its success. “We don’t want the patient to feel like a number,” said Amy. “They get to know us personally.”

An example of this innovative way of thinking is Sublime’s “ladies’ night” option for those who want to create custom experiences for their friends. “We can accommodate groups of six to 10,” said Angie. “They bring their own food and drinks and receive a discount on services for their group. It’s a unique experience and there’s a lot of opportunity for fun interaction.”

According to the team at Sublime, these patients inevitably become much more than customers. “Our clients are healthy. They take care of themselves, and they want to look as young as they feel,” said Angie. “We all do!”

In addition to aesthetic services, Sublime offers private label mineral makeup, as well as professional products such as Latisse®, VivierSkin and SkinTx. All consultations with Sublime are free, and the team does include a physician when medical input is required.

Looking Forward

The Sublime team has big plans for their business’s future. They intend to open additional Sublime locations in multiple states starting with a new facility in Fargo opening January 15, 2013. Expansion thereafter will take place as Amy and Angie find team members who share Sublime’s relationship-first philosophy towards aesthetics.

“I’ve always wanted to be part of something like this,” said Angie. “Something I could help to build with a great team.

Something personal and important. We’re going to expand, but that just means that we’re inviting more of our friends to share in the Sublime experience. After all, everyone deserve to feel beautiful.” [GCW] 2013 January|February

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