Grand Cities Woman, V2I3

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COMPLIMENTARY

Volume 2, Issue 3 May | June/July 2013

Retiring To Something New


Grand Cities

WOMAN Reach thousands. Call us for information on advertising space and free perks for advertisers.

Advertise with Grand Cities Woman This magazine is printed on an environmentally certified paper that contains a 10% post-consumer waste. FSCŽ (Forest Stewardship Council™) is an international, non-profit association that promotes wellmanaged forests by ensuring forestry practices that are environmentally responsible, socially equitable, and economically viable.

Mary Glessner

(701) 330-3150

Grand Cities

WOMAN 2

May|June/July 2013 www.grandcitieswoman.com

Autumn Graber (701) 261-2692

Grand Cities Woman is a bimonthly

publication distributed in and around the communities of Grand Forks and East Grand Forks.

/grandcitieswoman


Save the Date Please call ahead to confirm events. Promote your March and April events by sending information to grandcitieswoman@live. com or by calling Autumn at (701) 261-2692 by June 22. May 20

May 31 through June 1

BeautiControl 8:00 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

University Park 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m. This important event features hundreds of luminaries that light a path through University Park in memory of and in honor of those who have battled cancer. Everyone is invited to walk during the event and/or purchase luminaria to honor a loved one.

Margarita Spa

May 20 through June 29

Folk Dolls: The Norwegian Bunad Collective Velkommen This in-house art exhibit and sale, assembled in collaboration with the Norwegian Museum of Culture History in Oslo and The Folk and National Costume Council in Fagernes is open through June 29. The project promotes the creation, education, and enjoyment of authentically-replicated national costumes that are local to Norway’s traditional districts and provinces. For more information, call 701-775-8482.

May 22

Wet/Dry Wednesdays

BeautiControl 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

May 23

Thirsty Thursdays

BeautiControl 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

May 24

Anti-Aging Spa

BeautiControl 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

May 25

Vendors on Main Craft Sale

Canad Inns 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. A variety of area art, craft, clothing, and jewelry vendors offer their wares. For more information or to display products, call 701-787-2519.

May 25

Margarita Spa

BeautiControl 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

May 26

Zynergy Spa

BeautiControl 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

May 29

Chocolate Fantasy Spa

BeautiControl 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

May 30, 31 and June 1, 2 Treasures on Highway 2 Weekend

American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life

May 31 and June 1 & 2 Nelson County Barn Quilt Trail

(Featuring 4 new quilts) The quilt trail is a series of barn quilts that are hung along the highway or country road. A barn quilt is an 8 foot by 8 foot sheet of quality plywood painted with a quilt block pattern. These quilts are then hung on barns and other farm buildings for people to view. This self-guided, 20-mile tour coincides with the Heritage Arts, Nettiques, and Elaine’s House of Dreams event called “Treasures on 2.” Free maps of the quilt trail will be available at those three businesses.

June 1

Forx Roller Derby Interleague Game

Sugar Beaters vs. Red River Syrens Purpur Arena 6:00 p.m. Doors Open 7:00 p.m. Game Come and witness exciting derby action as two home teams battle it out.

June 5

Wet/Dry Wednesdays

BeautiControl 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

June 6

Thirsty Thursday

BeautiControl 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

June 8 and July 20 Money, Mani, & Mimosas

Sponsored by Karen Grainger and Thrivent Financial for Lutherans The Nail Studio 3551 32nd Ave S, Suite 3000 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. Feel Free to bring a friend! For important disclosure information, please visit Thrivent.com/ disclosures. 659963 Call 218-773-1181 or send an email to Karen.grainger@thrivent.com. Please send your RSVP at least three days prior to the event so the salon can prepare for adequate staffing needs.

June 9

Tight, Firm, & Fill

BeautiControl 3:00 to 5:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

June 10

2nd Annual Women, Wine, & Wealth Workshop 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Banquets at the Boardwalk - above the Boardwalk Bar & Grill, 415 2nd Street NW, East Grand Forks, MN Our topic will be Real Money Talk for Women. From balanced spending and family protection, to retirement and your legacy, it’s important to understand your finances. This event is hosted by Financial Representative Karen Grainger and Chad Erickson. Beverages and appetizers will be served and seating is limited for this event. Please RSVP by June 4 by calling Cynthia Barrett at 218-7731181 or by sending an email to cynthia.barrett@ thrivent.com. Our topic will be Real Money Talk for Women. From balanced spending and family protection, to retirement and your legacy, it’s important to understand your finances. Please bring a friend! For additional important disclosure information, please visit Thrivent.com/disclosures. 659963

Giddy Up Camp

Giddy Up Girl Scouts! Take a tour of a working horse stable at Grand Marais Stables, learn about different breeds and horse health, and then groom the horse, saddle up, and learn to ride from a certified horse trainer! We’ll do a craft project and learn some pony tales, such as the one about how a horses’ ears point in the direction of where they are looking. This event is open to Brownie and Junior Girl Scouts. For more information, contact Program and Learning Specialist Rachel Downs at 701-772-6679 or send an email to rdowns@gsdakotahorizons.org.

June 17 Detox Spa

BeautiControl 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

June 18

Herbal Serenity Spa

June 13 Zynergy Spa

BeautiControl 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

June 13 and July 11 Car Seat Checkup

4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Rydell GM Auto Center, 2700 South Washington Stop by and make sure your children have a safe ride.

June 13 and July 11

Child Passenger Safety Made Simple

6:00 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Rydell GM Auto Center, 2700 South Washington This class is for expectant parents or those of newborn babies. If you have already purchased a car seat, bring it along for hands-on training on how to properly install the car seat into your vehicle. For more information and to register, please call 701-780-5179.

June 14

Chocolate Fantasy

BeautiControl 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

June 15

Developmental Screening Clinic

Little Miracles, Inc. Pediatric Therapy Clinic, 2200 Library Circle 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. A physical therapist, occupational therapist, and speech-language pathologist will be available to assess all areas of development for your child. This event is free to the public and no appointment is necessary.

June 15 Footsies Spa

June 17 and 18

BeautiControl 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

BeautiControl 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Please call Yolanda at 701-203-3468 for location information and to register for this event.

June 25

Grand Forks Republican Women Annual Golf Tournament & Social

The Grand Forks Country Club 12:30 p.m. 18-hole registration 3:00 p.m. 9-hole registration 5:30 p.m. Social This annual summer event is a time for women to get together and enjoy the beautiful greens of the Grand Forks Country Club. Teams of 4 can play 18 holes for $90 per player or 9 holes for $65 per player, or come that evening to socialize and enjoy dinner and the keynote speaker Kirsten Baesler, the ND Superintendent of Public Instruction, for $30. Several prizes will be awarded, and all who attend are sure to have fun and enjoy the camaraderie. This golf tournament serves as a fundraiser for GFRW initiatives. Please contact Chilly Goodman at 701-213-3908 or send an email to chulitagoodman@hotmail.com to register or to get more information. This event is open to any woman who wants to play golf, regardless of political party or stance.

July 6 through August 31 Wearable Folk-Art

The installation and sale features new small works finished and ongoing in clothing design, totes, and pewter jewelry. Patterns and design techniques were adapted to revitalize Norwegian rosemaling and other Scandinavian motifs. For more information, call 701-775-8482.

July 11

Mission Classic Golf Scramble

King’s Walk Golf Course 11:30 a.m. Event Registration 12:30 p.m. Tournament Begins Calling all golfers! It’s time to tee up to help hungry kids. Proceeds support the Mission’s Kids+ Program that provides take-home food bags for disadvantaged youngsters in the Grand Forks School District. To register your team or to be an event sponsor, call (701) 772-6600, ext. 220, or go to www.northlandsrescuemission.org. The tournament is limited to 25 teams, so call today!

Visit and sign up at Nettiques in Petersburg, Heritage Arts and Gifts in Michigan, and Elaine’s House of Dreams in Lakota for a chance to win a gift basket filled with products from each store. www.grandcitieswoman.com May|June/July 2013

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Find these items and more through local retailers. When purchasing an item that you’ve seen in our shopping guide, make sure you tell them that you saw it in Grand Cities Woman. Claims that products make in the Grand Cities Woman Shopping Guide are of product manufactures’ and not of Grand Cities Woman or Graber Media.

Pain relief from the ground up is what you will receive while wearing an Orthaheel from Jack’s Shoes in the Grand Cities Mall. The technology is clinically shown to reduce pronation, which can improve foot function and relief associated with heel and ankle pain. See their ad on page 15 for more information.

Norvell®, a name synonymous with ground breaking sunless tanning innovation continues to develop and manufacture technological breakthroughs in the sunless industry. Amber Sun products can be found at Sublime Aesthetic Professionals. See their ad on page 9 for more information.

Mid-century ashtrays can be displayed in a variety of ways. They can sit on a mantel, table, or even be hung on a wall. Nettiques in Petersburg, ND has many different styles to choose from. See their ad on page 19 for more information.

The home of the $40 jeans! Jeans can be a staple in any woman’s wardrobe. Pair them with a blazer for a more professional look or a plain t-shirt for a casual appearance. Find this pair of Miss Chic jeans at MODE in Grand Forks. See their ad on page 19 for more information. $40.00

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Recycling, buying organic, using energy efficient products – these are just a few of the choices you make every day to help the environment. With Natura paint, you have an environmentally friendly option when it comes to painting the interior of your home, and you can count on the beauty and quality you expect from Benjamin Moore. This virtually odorless paint is available through Sterling Carpet One. See their ad on page 15 for more information. www.grandcitieswoman.com


Gear up for summer with the new Girl Scout Boat Tote! Available at the local Girl Scout Retail Store, 2525 Demers Ave, Grand Forks, or you can call 701-772-6679 or go to our website at www.gsdakotahorizons.org. See their ad on page 23 for more information.

Take advantage of craftsmanship from generations past, dating back to a time of sole dependence on hand tools when craftsmen carefully planned and fitted their furniture. This chest on chest is available along with other selections from The Dutchess Collection at the Amish Gallery at Home of Economy. See their ad on page 11 for more information.

“Celebrate, encourage, and thank good friends and family.” These warm and wonderful quotes from the book You’ve Got a Friend on the remarkable bond of friendship will remind special people what a difference they’ve made. You can also celebrate an important woman in your life with a whimsically illustrated collection of statements that honor her spirit and her friendship. The book Celebrating You is a meaningful gift for birthdays, special moments, or just because. These books are available at True Colors in downtown Grand Forks. See their ad on page 13 for more information. This “Viking World Tour” t-shirt is styled like a rock concert tour shirt. A bit of a history lesson and a real conversation starter! Get the look from Velkommen, downtown Grand Forks. See their ad on page 17 for more information. $42.00 Small through X Large $43.00 2X Large through 5X Large

Invigorate your senses with this powerfully refreshing bath and body collection. Ginseng, ginger, and fruit extracts energize and renew your skin. Moisturizers provide lasting hydration, while antioxidants protect and nourish skin. Zenergy is available through BeautiControl Representative, Yolanda Cox, at www.beautipage. com/yolandacox. See their ad on page 15 for more information. $52.00

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Find these items and more through local retailers. When purchasing an item that you’ve seen in our shopping guide, make sure you tell them that you saw it in Grand Cities Woman. Claims that products make in the Grand Cities Woman Shopping Guide are of product manufactures’ and not of Grand Cities Woman or Graber Media.

MODE of Grand Forks has more than just the $40 jeans. Stop in to check out the wide selection of tops, dresses, and jewelry. Find these stylish leather banded bracelets with rhinestone embellishments. See their ad on page 19 for more information. Get your favorite girl a new iPad® case, key chain, or t-shirt and let the world know that girls can do anything! Stop by the local Girl Scout Retail store, 2525 Demers Ave, Grand Forks, or you can call 701772-6679 or go to our website at www.gsdakotahorizons.org . See their ad on page 23 for more information. Take advantage of craftsmanship from generations past, dating back to a time of sole dependence on hand tools when craftsmen carefully planned and fitted their furniture. This six-drawer lingerie chest is available along with other selections from The Empire Mission Collection at the Amish Gallery at Home of Economy. See their ad on page 11 for more information.

Make skin radiant with this refreshing, exfoliating, shimmering gel. A powerful blend of ginseng and ginger mixed with zesty fruit extracts will “Zenergize” the senses and moisturize skin for long lasting hydration. Antioxidants protect and nourish skin for the ultimate renewal experience. Zenergy Shimmering Hydrating Gel is available through BeautiControl Representative, Yolanda Cox, at www. beautipage.com/yolandacox. See their ad on page 15 for more information. $20.00

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This Elly Preston leather cuff bracelet with matching necklace could be the right pop of color you are looking for to pair with your new summer outfit. This and many other options are available at True Colors in downtown Grand Forks. See their ad on page 13 for more information. Bracelet $30.00 Necklace $21.00 www.grandcitieswoman.com

Aura® paint covers like no other—even the deepest shades never require more than a second coat. Its fast-drying formula lets you recoat in as quickly as an hour and touchups are seamless. Aura paint’s proprietary Color Lock® Technology locks in color for incredible color depth and durability that won’t fade over time and wear. Low VOCs and low odor keep the environment healthier, too. Over 3,600 hues are available through Sterling Carpet One in Grand Forks. See their ad on page 15 for more information. Prices Vary


Add some character to that bland corner with this industrial filing cabinet from Nettiques from Petersburg. This piece measures 27 inches high by 15 inches deep. See their ad on page 19 for more information. $400.00

Say goodbye to unwanted pounds and inches and hello to a decrease in appetite and improve muscle tone with Natural Accelerator available at Sublime Aesthetic Professionals. This breakthrough formula contains only the most carefully selected natural thermogenic ingredients such as cayenne, green tea, cinnamon, and ginseng to help your liver metabolize fat quickly helping you lose weight and inches—minus potentially harmful stimulants including, caffeine, ephedra or ma huang. See their ad on page 9 for more information. Order. Beauty. And the freedom that comes from knowing everything is in its place. With these guiding principles two female flight attendants began Baggalini®. Jack’s Shoes in Grand Cities Mall has a wide assortment of styles and colors. Stop in and check out the bag that enables order and beauty in life. See their ad on page 15 for more information.

Yeah sure, you betcha we’ve all had those days…just say “uff da” and carry on. Perennial store favorites include this 6-inch square, cork-backed ceramic trivet-tile with hanger and the matching (10 0z.) 4-inch tall mug that will hold your morning coffee. These items are great novelties to give or to get from Velkommen, downtown Grand Forks. See their ad on page 17 for more information. $28.00 Trivet-tile $29.95 Mug

Premium 100% Arabica coffee beans roasted in micro-batches specifically for you from Little Coyote Coffee. Available online at www.facebook.com/little.coyote.coffee. Ask about their gift boxes. See their ad on page 11 for more information. $11.00 per 12 oz. bag

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Written and photographed by Autumn Graber

GIVE BACK

in Style Local Stores Give Back to Community

Pictured: Mary Sue Ohlhauser, Ruth Quanbeck, Angie Morken, and Joann Boushey.

Local nonprofits have new, passionate partners in the community. MODE Grand Forks opened its doors at Med Park Plaza in September of 2011, and has since helped raise funds for the Community Violence Intervention Center (CVIC), Northern Lights Skating Group, University of North Dakota, and the ALS Association. “Our store is part of this community and this community is what makes us successful,” said Ruth Quanbeck, MODE Grand Forks owner. “We want to appreciate that and give back to the community.” MODE Grand Forks is a franchise owned in partnership between Quanbeck and Mary Sue Ohlhauser. The community give back idea was the brainchild of Ohlhauser. “We welcome any organization,” said Mary Sue. “We would love to do one every week.” Any non-profit, civic organization, or private group trying to raise funds for a cause can stop in to MODE in Grand Forks and pick up an application form to reserve their give back campaign. “We pick two or three business days and give back 10% of our profits from those days,” said Angie Morken, MODE manager.

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Once dates are selected, it’s up to the group to promote the fundraising event by word of mouth, on Facebook, and through any other means available. “It’s as successful as people make it,” said Ruth. In addition to the word of mouth promotion, MODE will also send out an email blast to their database of customers, informing them of the group they are raising funds for in hopes of drawing in additional shoppers and donations from their current customer base. Fundraising isn’t limited to just regular shopping hours either. MODE Grand Forks will even open their doors after hours for private denim parties. “The store is yours for two hours,” said Ruth. This opportunity gives shoppers a laid-back experience while choosing between MODE’s designer denim, handbags, shoes, jewelry, and tops. The store that is best known for its forty-dollar denim is passionate about giving back to those in need in our community. “There was an ALS Walk that was a huge success and I’m very proud we were part of that success,” said Mary Sue. The passionate advocates at MODE Grand Forks are joined by Joann Boushey, owner of Retail Therapy, a second hand store just a few short steps down from MODE in the Med Park Plaza. “I donate to CVIC all the time,” said Joann. “When people leave home because they are being abused, they tend to leave with nothing, so people can come into the store and get what they need at no cost to them.”

Before opening Retail Therapy, Joann knew she wanted to choose one organization that she could help through her business. Once settling on CVIC she knew it was going to be a good fit. The vision of the Community Violence Intervention Center (CVIC) is to build a violence-free community by working together to promote human dignity, justice, and peace. To receive goods from Joann and Retail Therapy, a customer must be receiving services from CVIC. “We’ve given out quite a bit of product and helped quite a bit of people in just this short year that we have been open,” said Joann. “Not one of those people leave the store without getting a big hug.” Retail Therapy holds monthly fundraisers for items that CVIC can use in their safe homes and shelters. On the first of every month, Joann turns over the items that she has collected to CVIC so they can distribute them to people in need. If you would like to donate items to Retail Therapy, you can drop them off during store hours on Monday through Saturday from 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. and on Sundays from noon to 5:00 p.m. To find out how your organization can benefit from a fundraiser through MODE Grand Forks, stop in to their location at Med Park Plaza next to Scheels or call them at 701-757-2600. You can also like them on Facebook to hear when their next give back campaign will be offered by searching for MODE Grand Forks. [GCW]

Check Out These Real Results!

The Beauty Of Sound Is Easy To See! Introducing Ultherapy – Exclusively From Sublime!

Sublime is among the first in Grand Forks to offer the Ultherapy procedure for lifting and tightening the skin on your face and neck. This nonsurgical lifting procedure uses tried-and-true ultrasound technology to strengthen the skin from deep within. In less than an hour – and without any downtime – you’ll be well on your way to tighter, better-fitting skin and a more beautiful you. Call us today for a free consultation. 701-757-3300 • Grand Forks

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701-281-3434 • West Fargo

You'll know and they'll notice.

You'll know and they'll notice. www.sublimepros.com

www.grandcitieswoman.com May|June/July 2013

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SAFE KIDS CORNER Summer is Coming: Thermometer Alert! Written by Carma Hanson, MS, RN Coordinator – Safe Kids Grand Forks/Altru Health System

As spring turns to summer and the thermometer reaches temperatures that make us swelter in the sun, we need to be extra vigilant about kids and the toll that heat takes on their bodies. Heatstroke is the medical term used to describe when the body’s temperature becomes excessively hot. Simply put, hyperthermia occurs when a body produces or absorbs more heat than it gives off. Young children are particularly at risk because their bodies heat up 3 to 5 times faster than an adults’. Heatstroke in vehicles: Heatstroke is the leading cause of non-crash, vehicle-related deaths for children under the age of 14. Since 1998, more than 550 children across the United States have died in cars from heatstroke. Each year, an average of 48 children die in hot cars; that is about 1 child every 10 days. More than half of these deaths occur when a driver forgets that the child is in the car. Experts will tell you that this can happen to anyone. Our busy lifestyles create enough stress to trigger mental “lapses,” which can bury a thought and cause your brain to go on autopilot. The lapses can affect something as simple as misplacing your keys or something as crucial as forgetting a baby. Almost 30 percent of the time, children get into a car on their own. Kids love to pretend that they’re driving. They find a way into the car, but sometimes, they can’t find a way out. The third scenario is when someone intentionally leaves a child alone in a car. A parent might be running an errand and think, “The baby just fell asleep. I’ll just be gone for a second.” But seconds turn into minutes, and before you know it, the temperature inside of the car has reached lethal levels. Many people are shocked to learn how hot the inside of a car can actually get. On an 80 degree day, the temperature 10

May|June/July 2013 www.grandcitieswoman.com

inside a car can rise 20 degrees in 10 minutes and up to 40-50 degrees in the span of an hour or two. With the temperatures inside the vehicle getting that much hotter than outside temps, it can be a relatively mild day outside and yet, there can be life threatening temperatures inside a vehicle. “Cracking the window” makes little difference on a vehicle’s internal temperature. Heatstroke sets in when the body isn’t able to cool itself quickly enough. When a child’s internal temperature reaches 104 degrees, major organs begin to shut down. When their temperature reaches 107 degrees, the child can die. Safe Kids of Grand Forks wants everyone to help avoid heatstroke by remembering to ACT: o Avoid heatstroke-related injury and death by never leaving your child alone in a car, not even for a minute. Make sure to keep your car locked when you’re not in it so kids don’t get in on their own. Keep keys out of children’s reach. o Create reminders by putting something in the back seat next to your child—such as a briefcase, purse, or cell phone—that you will need at your final destination. This is especially important if you’re not following your normal routine. For a FREE vinyl cling window reminder (as shown), contact Safe Kids of Grand Forks. o Take action if you see a child alone in a car by calling 9-1-1. Emergency personnel want you to call; they are trained to respond to these situations. One call could save a life.


Heatstroke while at play: For older children, heatstroke often occurs while they are at play, most notably during sporting events. When children play outside, they should avoid direct exposure to the sunlight for long periods during the hottest time of the day (10 am – 2 pm). Make sure that kids have an adequate amount of fluids to drink, especially during active play, such as at sporting events. Water is the best option and athletes should begin drinking at least 30 minutes before the activity begins and continue every 15-20 minutes during the game. It is also important to drink fluids following the activity. Because some parks or fields might not have ready access to water, consider sending a pre-filled water bottle with your child to all practices and games and check to see that the coach is providing the kids with periodic water breaks. Dehydration can often lead to heatstroke, so knowing the signs and symptoms of dehydration is key to preventing it. The severity of dehydration can vary from mild to more lifethreatening if left unchecked. The three levels of dehydration are heat cramps, heat exhaustion, and heatstroke. Symptoms range from muscle cramping in the calves, back, arms, or abdomen (heat cramps) to faintness or dizziness, nausea, and rapid heartbeat (heat exhaustion) to collapse, emotional instability, and extremely high body temperature (heatstroke). Should any of these symptoms occur, have the child tell the coach or an adult so proper action can be taken. Most of us wait for the summer season to roll around so we can spend time outdoors and in the sun. While a good dose of sunshine is good for our health and spirits, we need to work hard to protect children from the dangers that can come with the heat. For more tips on heatstroke, go to www.safekidsgf.com or www.safekids.org. We wish you a safe and fun-filled summer! Altru Health System is proud to serve as the lead agency for Safe Kids of Grand Forks. For more information on these or other childhood injury prevention topics, contact us at safekids@ altru.org. [GCW]

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Carma Hanson, MS, RN, Safe Kids of Grand Forks/Altru Health System Coordinator | Writer Safe Kids of Grand Forks is an injury prevention coalition whose mission is to prevent unintentional injuries and death to children. Altru Health System is proud to serve as the lead agency for Safe Kids of Grand Forks. To learn more about our program or for other safety tips, go to our website at www.safekidsgf.com or “like” us on Facebook at Safe Kids of Grand Forks. You can also send an email to safekids@altru.org. Safe Kids of Grand Forks is keeping kids safe at home, at school, at play, and on the way! www.grandcitieswoman.com May|June/July 2013

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A resale shop featuring brand name fashions from Eddie Bauer to the Buckle, along with your favorite new boutique brands, home decor, and unique gift items.

6 S 3rd St., Downtown Grand Forks, ND 701-795-5660 www.truecolorsconsignment.com

www.grandcitieswoman.com May|June/July 2013

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Negotiating Skills

FOR WOMEN Written by Kristine Paranica, JD

We negotiate daily with people we live and work with. Some common examples include negotiation over chores, parenting, making purchases, or asking for raises and promotions. Do men and women really negotiate differently, and does gender matter? The answer is: sometimes. Try to answer the following questions about women in negotiations: a) Do women cooperate more? b) Do women set lower aspirations? c) Do women fail to ask for what they want? d) Do men and women negotiate differently with women? e) Are women superior cooperative/integrative bargainers (vs. competitive)? And if there are differences, what are the consequences of gender differences in negotiating styles, money, power, or relationships? What has been your experience? The answers to these questions are revealing. In their book “Women Don’t Ask,” Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever assert that most men and women equally favor cooperative bargaining styles, although research indicates that women are initially more trusting and trustworthy than men. Moreover, Babcock and Laschever indicate that women are less forgiving of violations of trust and men are more likely to share information with opponents. Interestingly, your position of rank within an organization makes a bigger difference, with higher-ranking women negotiating more aggressively. If you are a woman and in a position to negotiate for yourself or others, as you prepare to enter into negotiations, note that women generally set lower goals for themselves than men do, except when negotiating on another’s behalf. Harvard Law School’s blog titled “When Women Negotiators Thrive” discusses how recent research suggests that when it comes to salary increases, women ask for less, and less frequently. However, when women do ask for a higher income, they tend to get significantly more than their male counterparts do (http://www.pon.harvard. edu/daily/negotiation-skills-daily/when-women-negotiatorsthrive) Even in the twenty-first century, women customers are often quoted a higher price than male customers in car sales. In addition, women are typically offered less in extra features and package deals. Equally disturbing is the inequality of pay that still exists in this century. In April 2012, Forbes Magazine published an article titled “It’s Time That We End the Equal Pay Myth” that discusses this alarming trend. In her article, Carrie Lukas indicates that women generally still have less social power, with less than 5 percent in top jobs and less than 20 percent in Board of Director’s seats at Fortune 1000 companies. Savvy women who understand

these biases will do well to prepare for negotiations and use more competitive tactics to gain equal opportunities. Other real and perceived gender-based notions exist within our society that women should also consider. One perception is that men are more rational, logical, and objective, whereas women are more emotional, intuitive, and relational. Another idea is that men are expected to be dominant and authoritative, while women are supposed to be passive and submissive. These notions are not facts but cultural expectations that might or might not fit your experience. Gail Evans, in her book Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman, asserts that although most men tend to talk more and interrupt more in negotiations, women have a tendency to listen better and are more attuned to nonverbal and subtle messages, lending them an advantage. Therefore, a lesson for women is to understand the subconscious cultural expectations and work against those tendencies. Additionally, women need to recognize that many female negotiators can be competitive, intense, and successful in their communication styles, which can be perceived negatively because of subconscious societal expectations (for example, the expectation that women should act in a softer, gentler manner rather than competitively or aggressively). We do have a choice to either perpetuate those stereotypes or establish new norms. In some contexts, women negotiators thrive and achieve outcomes that match or exceed those of men. One such instance is when the issues matter to them, such as work-related travel and daily schedules that might affect their family life. Another instance is where the women negotiate on behalf of others, such as in an agent or attorney role, perhaps because women in these roles believe that assertiveness is better tolerated when working for a client versus themselves. A third area in which women excel is when they have good information and have done their homework. Self-awareness of one’s predominant negotiation style can be especially helpful. You can visit certain sites online or attend workshops, each of which providing inventories that you can take to learn about your own style. Most styles can be described by the way the individual woman places values on reaching her own goals and meeting the needs of others (relationships).

Kristine Paranica, JD | Writer Kristine has been the Director of the Conflict Resolution Center at the University of North Dakota since 1999 and provides training and education in transformative mediation, conflict management, and other processes. She is nationally recognized as a Certified Transformative Mediator™.

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The following are the five typical negotiation styles of the Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory: Accommodating: Negotiators with this style focus primarily on the needs of others, and will salvage the relationship at the risk of losing the chance to meet their own goals and needs should conflict arise. Avoiding: Negotiators with this style choose battles wisely and engage infrequently, choosing to forfeit goals and relationships to maintain calm or status quo. Directing: Negotiators with this style have high focus on their agendas and low focus on the relationship. They do not fear conflict or competition and will fight hard to win, sometimes at all costs. Compromising: Negotiators with this style prefer equity and also value goals and relationships; although the results are often win/lose for both sides in a negotiation, this negotiator tends to divide down the middle. Collaborative: Negotiators with this style are somewhat like a mediator who is interested in fully understanding the goals, needs, and implications of relationships in the classic win/win type of outcome. The downside is that fully exploring issues to find creative solutions can be time consuming.

Mrs. Jack says...

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Understanding your “go-to” style will help you to prepare for negotiating with someone with another negotiator style. If needing to work outside your comfort zone, you can prepare by understanding tactics used by other styles. In fact, preparation is the key for successful negotiations, and knowing yourself and your style, and then understanding your opponent is only the first step. The next step requires that you are clear about what you want and the reasons why—the interests underlying your position in negotiations. After that, you will need to make an educated guess about your opponents’ interests. Your best alternative to a negotiated agreement, or BATNA, is also part of the preparation when determining your reservation price or walk-away point, and you should develop a plan for knowing where to go next to meet your interests and needs. And, similarly with your styles, you will want to know your opponents’ BATNA. These key steps are the groundwork for getting what you want when negotiating in life, while recognizing the truths and limitations of gender biases and working toward equality. With any luck, the next decade of research on gender issues will find more equity and equality for women and our daughters. [GCW]

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Valley Health Clinic Opens a New Set of Doors Written by Autumn Graber

Pictured: Lana McArthur, Executive Director

Valley Health & WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) are settling into a new home at 360 Division Avenue in downtown Grand Forks. That is exactly what it is: a home. As you step off the elevator into the cozy waiting area, you can’t help but notice the warm colors and inviting atmosphere. With the celebration of a successful grand opening in May, the two organizations are thrilled about their new home and excited for what the future will offer. “We knew we needed updated technology and more space,” said Lana McArthur, Valley Health and WIC Executive Director. Valley Health Clinic’s former location was built specifically for them in 1995, but there haven’t been updates or renovations since then. The clinic began looking for a new space in a more centrally-located area to better service serve their patients. “There is a movement in Grand Forks towards the development of a community health center and we have been very involved with that alliance,” said McArthur. “It was a good idea to position ourselves more centrally located to the services we work so closely with.”

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Valley Health is a Title X Funded Family Planning Clinic, which allows them to offer services on a sliding fee scale. “By doing that, we are able to offer affordable services and supplies to lower income populations, and those clients are likely to also be visiting other social service agencies regularly.” The new clinic is co-located with the WIC program and is within walking distance from Social Services, CVIC, 3rd Street Clinic, in addition to a free dental clinic located directly across the street. With Family Planning and reproductive health under the microscope recently, Valley Health and other North Dakota Title X clinics spend countless hours educating the public about the services they can/do, and cannot/will not provide. Under the Title X guidelines, Valley Health is not allowed to perform or offer abortion services. “We never have [performed abortions],” said Kathleen Gasparini, Valley Health Clinic board member chair, “we are family planning; that means we help people plan their families.” Without Valley Health, there is not another sliding-fee clinic at this time in Grand Forks. The clinic focuses its services on family planning and reproductive health. If a woman visits the clinic and discovers that she is pregnant, the clinic staff offers her resources and other referral information to help her make the best decision about her pregnancy and parenting. “If we have a woman that comes in pregnant and has decided to parent, we can help her through her pregnancy,” said McArthur. Valley Health offers the state-wide program called Optimal Pregnancy Outcome Program (OPOP). “OPOP is an accessory to regular prenatal care, offering our clients a visit with a nutritionist, social worker, and a nurse—at no cost every month—to help guide them to the best possible pregnancy and birth outcome,” said McArthur.

A misconception still exists about who can obtain services from Valley Health. “We have people come in for their annual exams and regular appointments. It’s best to make an appointment, but we do accept walk-ins, so you can just show up and we will do our best to see you,” said McArthur. Although they are a sliding-fee clinic, they do accept private insurance and Medical Assistance programs. First and foremost, they provide family planning services and reproductive health care for anyone. The majority of the patients who visit Valley Health are women, but the clinic also provides many services for men as well. “While our mission is to serve everybody, we do place a focus and value in serving people that are low income or uninsured. What’s great is that at the end of the day, our prices are just awesome for everyone, regardless,” said McArthur. For example, they have some patients who have been coming to the clinic for regular visits since their opening in 1972. “We have a pretty good following,” said Gasparini. “People enjoy the comfortable atmosphere here.” Among their current services, Valley Health Clinic is planning to expand their services in the near future. “The healthcare environment is changing and we have to adapt to that,” said McArthur. “We are here to help. That is why there is money invested in family planning by our country and by our state. It’s here for people to use because we want people to be healthy.” For more information about Valley Health Clinic and WIC, go to their website at www.myvalleyhealth.com or call 701-775-4251. [GCW]

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Kathleen “Tootsie” Gasparini Retiring To Something New Written by Autumn Graber

“I’ve just been able to look at kids and figure them out and interact.”


Without a doubt, I can look back on my high school career and name a select few teachers that had a great impact on me and the decisions I made. It’s probably safe to assume that most can say the same. We may not have known it at the time, but the teachers we spent so many hours with on a daily basis were providing us with the guidance and tools we would eventually take with us through college, into our professional careers, and personal relationships. Many students who have passed through the halls of Grand Forks Red River High School and Grand Forks Central over the past forty years can say the same thing about Kathleen Gasparini, otherwise known as Tootsie. Tootsie, who was the last girl and sixth out of seven children, was given that nickname by her father. She grew to hate the moniker; and after she graduated from the University of North Dakota with a bachelor’s degree in physical education and health, she planned to rid herself of that nickname once she moved to Carpentersville, Illinois to teach school. “My mom told me, ‘now is your chance to change your nickname,’” said Gasparini. However, after introducing herself as Kathleen and hearing it repeated by her new friends, she began to miss “Tootsie” and simply conceded by telling her friends to “just call me Tootsie.” After a year and a half of teaching in Illinois, Tootsie returned to Grand Forks and married John “Gino” Gasparini in 1971. They attended UND at the same time, but Tootsie claimed to not have an interest in the hockey player back then. Tootsie returned to her teaching career at Valley Junior High and remained there for three years. She also spent 12 years at Red River High School before settling down at Grand Forks Central for 26 years. This summer, Mrs. Gasparini will say goodbye to the halls of Grand Forks Central. “I’ve enjoyed working,” said Tootsie. “I’m married to a workaholic and we have three workaholic sons and I’m a little bit of a workaholic.” You can always count on her having a bag of Tootsie Rolls in her desk too. After 42 years of devotion to her students, Tootsie will officially retire after the summer session. When asked what she is going to miss the most about teaching, Tootsie responded, “the kids.” She thrives on the energy that the students give her. “It keeps you going and keeps you in tune with what is going on in another generation. I don’t feel old because I’m with young people all the time and I think that makes a difference.” In a recent article published in The Centralian, Gasparini said, “I have always known I wanted to teach. My mom was a teacher in a one-room school house at eighteen years of age.”

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Tootsie credits her success in the classroom to her ability to connect with the students. “I’ve just been able to look at kids and figure them out and interact.” Mrs. Gasparini has had a heavy subject to teach over the last 42 years. “It’s a tough subject,” she said about her health class. “I preach abstinence, but there are some kids that don’t go along with that and for them, I will tell them they should be using birth control and condoms.” However, Mrs. Gasparini doesn’t begin teaching that part of the curriculum until later in the semester. “You’d never start out a semester with that.” Once the semester has started Mrs. Gasparini has the students work on relationships. She explains to the students that components for their happiness are based on what type of relationships they have. A lot of students can relate to divorce and the peer pressure associated with having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. “If you don’t learn about relationships it’s going to affect your life.” Gasparini tells her students they must be smarter and stronger than their parent’s generation because they deal with dangerous situations more so than their parents and grandparents did.


After Mrs. Gasparini has connected with the students in the first half of the semester she begins the discussion about abstinence and making good decisions. “This is the only time they can ask the questions and get the [right] answers,” she said. “We want those kids growing up to be responsible, tax paying community members, raising good families.” She teaches the students that abstinence is always going to be the best, but for those that make other decisions she instructs on how to take responsibility for adult behavior. “I’m very free with talking about that. I never make a referral without telling them they have to discuss it with their parents.” At first, Mrs. Gasparini would refer the students to their family doctor, but then she found Valley Health Clinic. “I realized how truly valuable it is and lots of people don’t know about it. It’s a good place for a lot of our kids.” Mrs. Gasparini has hoped she has made an impact on her students to make good decisions for themselves over the past 42 years. She feels that she has developed the ability to connect with the students over time. “Through the years, you realize what kids have on their plate and it’s going to impact what they are doing at school.” She has noticed that students dealing with divorce or even a parent using drugs can’t focus on their schoolwork. “Their brain actually shuts off. It’s part of a survival instinct. It shows that Mrs. Gasparini cares about her students because they end up confiding in her. She handles what she can, but if the student is dealing with something bigger, she notifies the school counselor for support. “You take care of what you can take care of. We can’t solve all of their problems, but if we can make it a little bit easier for them, then it’s okay.” The influence that Mrs. Gasparini has on the students is carried with them through the years. This is proven by her being named “Most Memorable Teacher” multiple times by seniors. Considering that the last time she taught them was during their sophomore year, it speaks volumes. “That is the best award I’ve ever gotten. I have kids when they are sophomores and then I don’t see them, really, unless they come down for a Tootsie Roll.” So what is next for Tootsie Gasparini? “I’m excited to see what is next.” She is also looking forward to spending more time with her retired husband. “My husband and I used to have such busy schedules that we would hardly get into the same car. One would go one way, and the other would go the other way. His was usually to the rink.” Tootsie and her husband are also looking forward to spending more time with their grandchildren. She does plan to continue her volunteer time with Valley Health Clinic and substitute teaching. One thing Mrs. Gasparini would like to pass on to her predecessor and other teachers is to connect with the students. “Let them know somebody cares about them. That is important. It’s not like teaching math or English.” [GCW]

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Caring for a disabled or aging family member can sometimes make you feel alone

There is a critical need in North Dakota, especially in rural and tribal areas as our population ages. Education for in-home care providers is paid for by the Division of Medical Services and highly qualiďŹ ed registered nurses customize the training to suit the provider and the client. If you care for someone in his or her home, contact TrainND about taking advantage of our specialized training. Training includes suggestions to help you understand the aging process or living with a disability—and that makes it easier on you.

If your client qualiďŹ es, you could receive reimbursement for your time to provide home care. 701-662-1578 1-800-443-1313 ext. 21578 annie.alexander@lrsc.edu www.lrsc.edu/workforce


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