GRAPEY’S GUIDE TO MQ

THE GRAPESHOT TEAM’S BLUEPRINT TO NAVIGATING THE WEIRD, WONDERFUL WORLD OF MACQUARIE

MUSE/MAZE If you like having to get in at 8am to find a decent spot, then MUSE is for you. You can hang around and pretend to work while having a good ole yarn with the three group assignment mates you made during first year and no one will tell you to shush. And the best bathrooms in the whole university are in MAZE. You’re welcome.

Faculty of Arts Centre (Y3A, aka Hadenfeld Avenue) Best cafe on campus hands down can be found in Y3A. Which is good because this building has literally nothing else going for it. It apparently has a courtesy bus which makes the trek less horrific but we are yet to ever actually see the fabled vehicle make an appearance. So, if you’re chilling out and having an extra drink before class hoping to get an easy ride across campus, we have some bad news for you. Scull that cider and run motherfucker.

Library Have you ever been desperate to finish a late assignment, but all the seats in the library were taken up by HSC students, or people just watching Youtube videos? Type in ‘Book a computer Macquarie University’ on Google and you will be taken to a link that lets you reserve a computer, a nice big private desk, and a fun rolly chair. You can claim this desk for up to 2 hours! Plenty of time to finish that assignment, right? Right???

Campus Common Ubar exists in a bizarre zone where you can drink alcohol while still technically being inside an educational institution. Hallmarks of Ubar include horrendously bad G&Ts, Thursday trivia groups with painful puns as their team names, and legends of a half-decent toga party. By the end of your degree only cider and cheap beer will be running through your veins. Happy hour is Friday 4:30 to 6:30pm and you should all definitely abuse that.

Lecture Theatres Lecture theatres are the satanic pits of all universities. Lotus Theatre (27 Wally’s Walk) is notorious for shoddy tables that send your laptops flying into the people in front of you at a moment’s notice. Price Theatre is surprisingly nice, for looking like a jail cell from the outside and Macquarie Theatre is by far the most intimidating theatre to enter your lecture late in. Hot tip: go up the stairs and come in through the back if getting your pre-lecture turmeric latte has made you a few minutes late. Save yourself the trauma of timidly looking up at 600 plus students judging you for your inability to time manage.

Macquarie University Sport and Aquatic Centre (MUSAC) (10 Gymnasium Road) Our Deputy Editor, Jodie has slowly been indoctrinating people into her netball cult. Find her. Join her.

Macquarie University Village Do you like waking up ten minutes before lectures and showing up to class in your pj’s? Do you like getting free dinner once every week because you’re too broke from tuition fees? Then the Village is the place for you, my friends. It’s your home away from home where you can drink naked and no one can say anything. If you want to be one of the cool people, make sure you pick a house on the west side, because the east side is for the losers. It’s a great place to meet new people and you can get a mate’s rate because your next door neighbour could potentially be a drug dealer.

Parking Parking at MQ is now in a strange state of reasonable pricing, but don’t stay too optimistic about it staying that way. The parking rates used to charge the price of your first born child for a full day, but went down during the Metro construction to $6 a day. However, prices went back up once the trains reopened and we wouldn’t recommend hedging your bets on cheap parking staying around. The back oval is the cheapest parking, but the most likely to result in a mugging if you’re walking to your car late at night. The parking in front of Y3A is the most expensive for obvious reasons, and parking is free on Sundays. So scam your wealthy second-aunt-once-removed into paying for a yearly parking pass and be done with it.

Courtesy Bus If you live in any of the on-campus accommodations, here’s a little tip for you to remember. There’s a free courtesy bus that runs from 4 pm to 12 am on weekdays during the semester. It operates every thirty minutes starting from the station to take you across different spots on campus. If you Google, ‘mq shuttle bus’ you can find the route map it follows. If you’re having a bad day, the bus driver, Zeljko, will definitely be able to cheer you up with his friendly smile and humorous conversation!