1970-2024
REWIND: 1981
Donnie Iris was the king of
and the Browns kicked off the
as the
UPFRONT
CLEVELAND UNVEILS LATEST LAKEFRONT MASTER PLAN, CALLS FOR MAJOR SHOREWAY OVERHAUL WITH OR WITHOUT BROWNS
IT’S COMMON KNOWLEDGE
for anyone who’s tried to get to the lakefront from downtown Cleveland that the current ways of doing so— either via East 9th or West 3rd—aren’t the most easy, safe or welcoming experiences.
For one, East 9th, the devoted connector of I-71 and OH-2, has no bike lanes. Pedestrians, bicyclists or scooter riders must cross over eight lanes of highway traffic to get to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, or to the North Coast Harbor, Downtown’s de facto green space on the lake.
“It is like playing a dangerous game of Frogger,” Scott Skinner,
head of the North Coast Waterfront Development Corporation, said in a panel update for the North Coast Master Plan, which will cost some $460 million to complete, last week on Mall C.
That plan, which is nearing the end of its community involvement phase, is meant to ameliorate the anxieties and problems caused by car traffic, among other pressing issues, like providing more public greenspace on the shores of Lake Erie. “What I am excited about is creating an intersection that is signalized,” Skinner said, “that is safe, and that feels safe to walk with the family across.”
That idea was discussed by a panel
of the lakefront makeover’s prime movers for hundreds of those curious who showed up Monday afternoon. As the team nears its next step of civil engineering planning this fall, a consensus among those spearheading its design seems to have been reached: The Shoreway has to go; new sidewalks and bikeways must go in.
Plans unveiled show how the city could make this happen. In addition to the landbridge, a central focus of the project that would connect the malls to the North Coast over existing rail lines, the Shoreway (from West 3rd to East 55th), parts of South Marginal Road, Al Lerner Way and the Main Avenue Bridge
are all suggested for renovations of some kind, as well as the Amtrak station, Key Plaza and—almost inconsequentially— the Great Lakes windmill.
New intersections and roads at East 15th and East 18th will head south into Downtown for added access. New loop driveways will reroute car traffic. New brick-colored, multi-modal pathways and sidewalks (protected by a thin tree line) will hug the new Shoreway boulevard constructed just north of where the highway stands today.
“East 9th will be at grade—which means the bridge that you take now to cross [the street] will no longer be there,” Keisha Chambers, assistant
Courtesy City of Cleveland
director of the Mayor’s Office of Capital Projects, said. “You’ll be able to cross at an actual intersection, which provides us opportunities to make this a much safer route.”
Since late 2022, when the Bibb administration announced its pursuit of renovating Cleveland’s lakefront, the city has been asking residents to chime in on how the North Coast should function, not just how it should please aesthetically. That is to say: watching a Lake Erie sunset only comes after redesigning the streets that get us there.
“There” nowadays is still just sad peninsula of parking, which both Skinner and Joyce Pan Huang, the city planning director, hope has a more immediate fix in the next few months. What does that look like? Could there be a shipping container pop up market? A “grass” meeting ground with summertime bookmobiles?
A quick fix meant to hold Clevelanders over. For good reason: Skinner said shovels won’t go into the ground, if the money’s raised, until “early 2028” at the earliest.
“We are advancing plans fairly quickly,” he said. “At the same time, this is a long-term project. This is not something that’s going to happen in six or 12 or even 18 months.” (The final plans might not even be completed until late 2025, Chambers said.)
Which puts it among other ongoing projects looking at finish lines down the road -- the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’s extension westward, the North Coast Harbor’s $1 million greenery update in progress, Irishtown Bend Park, the Superior Midway. With or without Cleveland Browns Stadium.
Hopefully with, as Mayor Justin Bibb, who spoke briefly before the panel, is still banking on, just days after he pushed a $461 million package to convince the Haslams to choose a renovated lakefront stadium over a $2-billion dome build in Brook park. Regardless, he said, “We will remake our lakefront once and for all.”
Asked whether or not the stadium would be demolished, Chief Integrated Development Officer Jeff Epstein was a lot clearer.
“If the Browns decide to play elsewhere, we’ve got another big piece of land to plan, and we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
Additional forums will be held throughout the city the rest of August. – Mark Oprea
Greyhound to Move From Downtown Cleveland to New Brookpark Road Station
Last November, as then-owner Twenty Lake Holdings announced plans to one day redevelop Cleveland’s downtown Greyhound station, news emerged that the bus service and RTA were in talks to relocate the station from the iconic building to a station 20 minutes west on Puritas.
Then, in April, transit advocates were appeased when RTA said it found a closer workaround for the service that Greyhound co-runs with Barons Bus: move its operations only three blocks south, to the Stephanie Tubbs Jones Transit Center off East 22nd St., keeping the operation central.
But last Friday morning, all bets were off. The new spot where travelers will one day board or arrive on Greyhounds will in the future be at a new stop to be built at RTA’s Brookpark Station near the airport.
The reason: not enough space downtown.
“Our Brookpark Station’s overflow parking lot provides the space needed by Barons Bus to build a new transit center,” a spokesperson for RTA told Scene in an email, “where customers can purchase tickets, board, disembark, and wait for their bus.”
In a statement to Scene, City Hall highlighted the nine-month-long search by Barons and Greyhound to lock down a more ideal spot than the aging Art Deco building at 1145 Chester Ave., where buses have been arriving and departing since the late 1940s.
Though the spokesperson didn’t specify where they would be, the city, they said, would be presumably working with RTA to pick certain curbsides where incoming buses would stop. If not, travelers would have to take a 25-minute trip on the Red Line to Tower City Center. (And pay $2.50 a ticket.)
“We believe that having access
to intercity bus service downtown is crucial,” City Hall said in a statement, “as most of our public transit network brings people to the heart of our city.”
Regardless, the departure is one that will bring headaches, for those connecting to RTA services, for passengers that brought revenue to downtown hotels and restaurants.
And a general annoyance for travelers used to arriving in the city center. Not miles away.
“It’s like an inconvenience,” Tracy, 41, from Pittsburgh, told Scene in the Greyhound lobby, waiting for the bus back home, in April. “I’m going to be honest with you, I’ll probably start catching the [Amtrak] again.”
With discussions about the eventual relocation of Downtown’s Amtrak station—as the most recent lakefront plans line it up for demolition—or faraway hopes of a station at Tower City Center for the lofty train line to link Cleveland, Cincinnati and Columbus, keeping an interstate bus hub in the central city would actually buck a national trend.
Cities like Chicago and Cincinnati are seeing their Greyhound lines flee to the suburban fringe, as their own Art Deco buildings wait for the wrecking ball or developer plans.
Which will, if things go as planned, will be the fate of the Greyhound building itself. In April, Playhouse Square CEO Craig Hassall announced their intentions to convert the space into a development to accentuate the growing theater district, most likely with a throwback restaurant, retail and apartments.
“We are committed to respecting the historic integrity of the building,” a spokesperson for Playhouse Square told Scene then, “and to working with the City of Cleveland and Greyhound to ensure the transition to Greyhound’s new base of operations occurs on a timetable that works for all parties.”
Barons Bus has yet to publicly confirm a groundbreaking date for its new station 12 miles southwest of Downtown. An agreement between Barons and RTA is “currently under review,” the RTA spokesperson said. –Mark Oprea
Huntington Bank Says It’ll Reopen Buckeye Branch Slated for Closure
Following a months-long grassroots campaign from residents, Huntington Bank this week announced that it will reopen the branch on Buckeye.
“We’re pleased to announce that our Buckeye branch will reopen by the end of October, and we’d like to thank all of our partners across the city for joining us in committing to the safety measures and ongoing partnership to make this possible,” a Huntington official
said in Monday’s news release. “We’re excited to continue to serve the Buckeye community, as we have for the last 20 years, by reopening this branch. We look forward to continuing our investment in this historic neighborhood.”
The bank earlier this year shocked those who depend on the location when it said it would permanently close due to rising crime in the area. Pressure quickly mounted, leaving Huntington to pivot to a temporary closing notice while it evaluated the branch’s future.
That only further galvanized residents.
“I don’t think the bank ever been challenged, to be honest,” Charles Bromley, the director of the Shaker Square Alliance and the organizer of the Keep Huntington on Buckeye group, told Scene this summer. “They get to do whatever they want to. They have $184 billion in deposits. Well, they figured that you bring a check and everybody goes away. And that wasn’t really the case here.”
It worked, as the group lobbied the bank, worked with City Hall, City Council and Neighborhood Connection to make their voices heard, fearing a bank desert in a community where many residents lack access to a car and reliable internet access.
“This still a community where people have flip phones, and they don’t do online banking,” Tamara Chappell, 70, who lives close to Moreland Courts off Shaker Square, told Scene. “Buckeye is not a dot-com area. Mount Pleasant area is not a dot-com area. People here still go to the bank.”
Mayor Justin Bibb, in a statement, celebrated the decision: “This is a great example of how tough problems can be solved when City Hall, private businesses and the community work together. Every resident, regardless of where they live, deserves equitable access to resources like banks.”
Senator Sherrod Brown, Chairman of the Senate Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs, added: “The permanent closure of the Buckeye branch would have left families and small businesses with even fewer choices than before. I’m glad that Huntington listened to the voices of the community and will reopen the Buckeye-Shaker branch. This would not have happened without all the neighborhood residents, local leaders, and advocates coming together and working with the bank – and speaking up about the branch’s importance.” –
Vince Grzegorek
Photo by Mark Oprea
AFTER POLICE KILLED AN OHIO MAN, HIS FAMILY NAVIGATES GRIEF AND HEALING
Documenting an East Cleveland family’s search for peace after the 2021 police shooting of their 19-year-old brother
By Michael Indriolo, The Marshall Project
TO DIAMOND BELMONTE AND HER blended family of seven brothers, there is no “half” or “step.” Vincent Belmonte was just her brother, bright and loving with a knack for sports, gaming and growing vegetables. He dreamed of becoming a YouTuber and starting a business with his siblings to teach people in Cleveland how to tend their own gardens.
When he was fatally shot by a police officer in East Cleveland, Ohio, during an attempted traffic stop on January 5, 2021, Diamond and her siblings joined in a now familiar ritual. First they mourned, and then they marched to keep Vincent’s case in the spotlight. They reeled when authorities deemed his death justified, and learned to live on together as attention faded and their brother became one of 29 people killed in fatal police shootings in the state that year.
I first met Diamond and her family at Vincent’s funeral and have followed them for more than three
years, catching glimpses with my camera of the aftermath we rarely see: the struggle to balance grief with life’s responsibilities, the absence of a loved one, the fight to keep going despite newfound anxieties, the small epiphanies.
“With something that tragic, you really learn a different trauma response,” Diamond said. “And healing from that, it comes in different aspects, in different ways.”
I first sat down to talk with De’Jour Duckworth, Vincent’s stepbrother, in February 2021. He told me he hadn’t been sleeping much. He’d lost 15 pounds in a month. Still, he smiled and laughed as he talked about his favorite memories of Vincent.
Then, De’Jour’s voice went low as he reminded himself that Vincent’s death wasn’t his fault. His last conversation with Vincent, a phone call two days before the shooting, weighed on him. He told Vincent to come spend some time away on
Diamond Belmonte, Vincent Belmonte’s sister, protests Vincent’s killing in East Cleveland on March 5, 2021. |Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
Vincent’s friends and family gather to celebrate his life in East Cleveland, a tiny, mostly Black suburb of Cleveland with a mostly White police force, after his funeral service on Jan. 23, 2021.|Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
Flowers and candles laid down by Vincent’s loved ones to create a memorial at the location of his death in East Cleveland.|Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
the family’s farm about an hour south. Both 19 at the time, they were struggling to navigate the responsibilities of early adulthood and mental health challenges.
“I told him, like, ‘Bruh, your hurt gon’ be gone soon,’” De’Jour said. “I told him that, but it wasn’t like I was wishing death or anything … It’s just, it’s a lot to really process because, shit, like, the system took my brother.”
In October 2021, Ohio Attorney General Dave Yost announced that a Cuyahoga County grand jury declined to indict Larry McDonald, the East Cleveland police officer who fatally shot Vincent.
According to state investigators, McDonald tried pulling Vincent over for a loud muffler. Vincent sped off and crashed the car before running away on foot. McDonald told investigators that Vincent reached for a gun as he was running away. McDonald then fired his weapon, hitting Vincent several times.
McDonald said he accidentally turned off his body camera as he was chasing Vincent, so the exact details of the shooting remain unclear. Police found a gun in Vincent’s hoodie pocket. Yost concluded that McDonald’s use of deadly force was justified.
On April 20, 2021, about a dozen friends and family visited Vincent’s memorial. Diamond, alone, walked up to it and buried her face in her hands.
Alondo Ivery, Vincent’s best friend, followed and put his arm around her. |Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
De’Jour Duckworth, Vincent’s brother, sings along to “Unreal,” a song he made about Vincent’s death, as it plays on car speakers at an East Cleveland home after Vincent’s funeral service on Jan. 23, 2021. “I don’t know what you want from me. Man, they took my brother. It got me shook, praying on my knees,” De’Jour sings in the song’s hook.
|Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
Diamond speaks at a protest against Vincent’s killing in East Cleveland on Feb. 5, 2021.
|Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
Later at the same protest, Diamond led the crowd onto Euclid Avenue, the city’s main road. They blocked the street, and a protester jumped on top of a car as the driver stopped to avoid hitting the crowd. |Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
On Halloween, Diamond, along with a group of friends and local activists, parked their cars in the lot across from East Cleveland City Hall and handed out candy and groceries to families passing by. |Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
Vincent’s family hands out flowers to passing drivers on Euclid Avenue on April 20, 2021.
|Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
Diamond brushes out a wig for her mother on July 9, 2022 as they get ready to protest against the killing of Jayland Walker, a young Black man fatally shot by police in Akron, Ohio
|Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
Diamond holds onto a bag of green balloons, Vincent’s favorite color, as she sets up to protest Vincent’s killing outside East Cleveland City Hall on March 5, 2021. After Vincent’s death, Diamond poured her time and money into organizing protests and asking for help from local activists, while she slept on couches and floors at friends’ houses.
|Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
The news that McDonald would not be indicted for killing Vincent brought back waves of grief for his family. The decision came about a week before Halloween, so instead of protesting again, Diamond decided to organize a “trunk-or-treat” in Vincent’s name.
After Vincent’s death, Diamond said she started having panic attacks. She developed anxiety so bad that she would pick “holes” in the skin on her face. Seeing police cars sometimes made her so angry and nervous that she couldn’t talk.
“Anytime I see police shootings or anything like that, I got to stay off social media, like, don’t watch the news, certain things just to protect me because some things just literally take me to a high anxiety,” she said.
McDonald, the officer who shot Vincent, was back in the news in 2023 when he resigned. At the time, he was one of 18 current and former East Cleveland officers indicted in an investigation into public corruption and civil rights violations. McDonald, for his part, was charged with lying about his role in a pursuit that resulted in a crash. In April, he was again indicted in a separate crash that was fatal. He pleaded not guilty and told me he did not have a comment on his ongoing case.
Even though McDonald wasn’t indicted for killing Vincent, Diamond and her family believe their protests helped shed light on systemic issues at the East Cleveland police.
“I thought I knew all my brothers,” she said. “I realized, after Vinny died, I didn’t know none of them for real, not like how I thought I did. And then I got to spend time with everyone for real, like the oneon-ones. That made me appreciate our relationships a bit more.”
This year has been a little better for Diamond.
“Even after everything, I still got PTSD,” Diamond said. “For the first two-and-a-half to three years, I didn’t really come outside like that. This is the first year that I’ve been like, really outside living more like a normal person.”
Diamond’s birthday falls just a few days after Vincent’s, so she celebrates him each year at her own birthday parties. Vincent would have turned 23 this year. She will still have a party for him, she said, but she wants to celebrate herself, too.
“It’s okay to be grieving,” Diamond said. “But how long will you let grief overcome you? You will become grief. You will be sad about everything. You will be depressed. It will change you. You won’t even know who you are by the end of it.
Dominic III poses for a portrait on July 9, 2022.|Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
Diamond marches in a protest for Jayland Walker on July 9, 2022. Local activists leading the protest invited Diamond to speak about losing Vincent. In 2024, I asked Diamond what people misunderstand about those who’ve lost loved ones to police violence. “Everybody’s situation is different,” she answered. “The only thing we got in common was the police killed somebody from our family.” |Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
And at some point, do you love that person more than you love you? You still got to live. Life doesn’t stop. You just got to relearn it a different way.”
This article was first published by The Marshall Project, a nonprofit news organization covering the U.S. criminal justice system.
Diamond hung the blanket printed with photos of her and Vincent next to her bed. The center of the blanket reads, “Our siblings are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.”|Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
Diamond, now 27 years old, prepares plates of food for her family during a Memorial Day cookout on May 26, 2024. |Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
Dominic Belmonte Sr., Diamond and Vincent’s best friend Alondo Ivery hang out on the porch of their Cleveland home on May 26, 2024. On Diamond’s right leg is a black and green tattoo of Vincent.|Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
A WKYC reporter interviews Diamond during a protest against the killing of Jayland Walker in Akron, Ohio on July 9, 2022. |Michael Indriolo for The Marshall Project
GET OUT Everything to do in Cleveland for the next two weeks
WED 08/14
Come from Away
This musical centers on the aftermath of 9/11 when air flights descended en masse in Gander, Newfoundland, stranding an international array of travelers in this tiny Canadian town. Written by Tony nominees Irene Sankoff and David Hein, and helmed by Tonywinning Christopher Ashley, the play comes to Connor Palace for a 7:30 p.m. performance. Performances continue through Sunday.
1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Golden Girls — The Laughs Continue
This play imagines what Miami’s “sassiest seniors” would’ve been doing in 2023 if the popular TV show had continued into the future. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at the Hanna Theatre, where performances continue through Aug. 25. 2067 East 14th St., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Wade Oval Wednesdays
A summer tradition continues tonight from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. at Wade Oval in University Circle. It’s Wade Oval Wednesday, and there will be local food vendors, a beer and wine tent, a farmers market and free kids’ activities — all laid out on the Wade Oval lawn,
adjacent to Cleveland Botanical Garden, the Cleveland Art Museum and the Cleveland Natural History Museum. Some museums will stay open late too. Details are on the website. 10820 East Blvd., universitycircle.org.
THU 08/15
The 12th Annual International Ohio Burlesque Festival 2024
More than 70 performers from all over the world will be on hand for this annual event that takes place from today through Saturday at the Beachland Ballroom and Tavern. Doors open at 7 each night. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.
Feast of the Assumption
The annual Feast of the Assumption takes place today through Saturday in Little Italy. Once again, Holy Rosary Church’s parish hosts this free, familyfriendly festival. Since Mayfield Road from E. 125th St. to E. 119th St. is closed to vehicles during the fest, and relatively far-away parking spots are available for a fee, the best way to attend the festival is via the RTA Red Line’s stop in Little Italy. littleitalyfeast.com.
Mozart & Bruckner
Conductor Franz Welser-Möst leads
the Cleveland Orchestra as it takes on Bruckner’s Fourth Symphony and Mozart’s “Haffner” Symphony. The concert begins at 7 p.m. at Mandel Concert Hall.
11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.
Third Thursdays
Third Thursdays, this new local music series at Cleveland Museum of Art’s Transformer Station, features a mix of live local music and interviews with the artists. Curated and hosted by Ideastream Public Media radio personalities, each event pairs a different show host with a band. The events, which take place from 7 to 8:30 p.m., are free, but a ticket is required.
1460 West 29th St., 216-938-5429, transformerstation.org.
FRI 08/16
Third Friday
From 5 to 9 p.m., many of the 78th Street Studios resident artist studios and galleries will be open as part of this monthly event. There will be live music, and Local West, a Gordon Square sandwich shop, will serve food. BARneo will have a selection of adult beverages as well. Admission is free.
1300 West 78th St., 78thstreetstudios. com.
SAT 08/17
Artist in the Atrium
Every third Saturday of each month, stop by the Ames Family Atrium between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. to get a firsthand look at the art-making process. Each session provides the opportunity to engage and interact with a different Northeast Ohio maker during pop-up demonstrations and activities.
11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.
Book Talk: Black Woman on Board
Today at 2 p.m. at Visible Voice Books, Donna J. Nicol will discuss the legacy of Black women in leadership, topics she writes about in her new book, Black Woman on Board. The free event begins at 2 p.m.
2258 Professor Ave., 216-961-0084, visiblevoicebooks.com.
Browns vs. Minnesota Vikings
The Cleveland Browns’ preseason continues with this exhibition game at Browns Stadium against the Minnesota Vikings. Starters such as Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson are likely to rest to avoid injury. Kickoff is at 4:25 p.m.
100 Alfred Lerner Way, 440-891-5000, clevelandbrowns.com.
The Feast of the Assumption returns to Little Italy. See: Thursday, Aug. 15.| Emanuel Wallace
Tchaikovsky’s Fifth Symphony
Franz Welser-Möst conducts the Cleveland Orchestra tonight at Blossom as it plays Tchaikovsky’s Fifth Symphony as well as Robert Schumann’s Piano Concerto. The concert begins at 7. 1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra. com.
Tennis in the Land
This annual event that takes place through Aug. 24 at Jacobs Pavilion features some of the best women tennis players in the world. Players such as Liudmila Samsonova, Leylah Fernandez, Wang Xinyu and Katerina Siniaková are the top seeds for this year’s tournament. Consult the website for a complete schedule. 2014 Sycamore St., 216-861-4080, tennisintheland.com.
MON 08/19
Broadway Comes Home: Celebrating 50 Years of Stagecrafters
Stagecrafters, a dramatic theatre arts program that’s part of the Orange Community Recreation Program that seeks to help students realize positive self-image, celebrates its anniversary with tonight’s benefit at the State Theatre. The event begins at 7:30.
Memorial Monday
Every Monday through Sept. 30, Fort Huntington Park hosts food tracks and live music between 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. for this special event. Admission is free, but the food will cost you. West 3rd St. and West Lakeside Ave. downtowncleveland.com.
TUE 08/20
Outlab: Experiments in Improvised Music Musicians are invited to bring instruments or any sound making device (drum kit and keyboard provided) that can be used to explore collective group improvisation. Please bring your own amps if needed. The monthly session begins at 8 tonight at the Bop Stop. Admission is free. 2920 Detroit Ave., 216-771-6551, themusicsettlement.org.
WED 08/21
The 10 X 3 Songwriter Band Showcase Hosted by Brent Kirby
The concept of 10x3 is a pre-arranged line up with 10 songwriters/bands performing three songs each. Two of the them required to be original, and the third can be the artist’s choice. Local singer-songwriter Brent Kirby hosts the
event, which runs from 7 to 9 tonight at the Bop Stop. Admission is free. 2920 Detroit Ave., 216-771-6551, themusicsettlement.org.
THU 08/22
Jared Freid
As the title of his latest standup special, 37 & Single, implies, comedian Jared Freid likes to tell jokes about dating. He performs tonight at 7 at Hilarities. He’ll perform again at the club tomorrow and Saturday. 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.
Taste of Black Cleveland
This event featuring Black chefs of Cleveland takes place from 6 to 11 tonight at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse. Guests will vote on the signature dishes that chefs prepare at the event, and a grand prize will be awarded. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
FRI 08/23
Guardians vs. Texas Rangers
After winning the World Series last year, the Texas Rangers have struggled to stay above .500 this season. They come to Progressive Field today for the start of a three-game series. First pitch is at 7:10 p.m.
2401 Ontario St., 216-420-4487, mlb. com/guardians.
SAT 08/24
Brett Goldstein
Known for portraying Roy Kent, the aging soccer star on the Apple + TV show Ted Lasso, Brett Goldstein brings his standup show to the State Theatre. He performs at 6 and 9 tonight and at 7 tomorrow night.
1519 Euclid Avenue, 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
SUN 08/25
Sinatra and Beyond
Singer/pianist/songwriter Tony DeSare pays tribute to Frank Sinatra at this special concert that takes place tonight at 7 at Blossom. The Blossom Festival Band will back him up.
1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra. com.
MUSIC
MIDNIGHT SPECIAL
New book of photos captures Cleveland metal band’s mysterious aura
By Jeff Niesel
A CLEVELAND
NATIVE,
ROCK photographer Hannah Verbeuren went to Chagrin Falls High School and knew early on that she wasn’t going to be someone who fit in. She gravitated toward classmates who listened to punk and metal bands like Suicidal Tendencies and Deicide.
“I was one of the oddballs at the school that would wear band T-shirts to school,” she says via phone from Cincinnati, where she was on tour with the Cleveland metal band Midnight, the subject of her new book of photos that she’s dubbed “a visual violation.” “There was a select group of us that caused a lot of trouble in Chagrin and made it into the newspaper quite a bit. We even made it into The Plain Dealer One of the articles was titled something like ‘Are Skate Punks That Bad?’ It was this whole exposé on us. I guess we were intimidating because we hung out in groups.”
But Verbeuren, who followed local hardcore and metal bands like Integrity, Boulder and Outface, would capitalize on her outsider status and develop it into a career as a rock photographer, publicist and writer. A former Scene contributor, she’s assembled a stunning collection of photos for Midnight: A Thousand Nights in Sodom.
The book is currently available for pre-orders through Bazillion Points, an imprint whose motto is “fine books on rough subjects,” and Verbeuren is selling the book at the merch table with the band as it tours. Midnight performs at the Rock Hall on Saturday, Aug. 17, and Verbeuren hopes to be on hand for the concert (even if she doesn’t make the show, she says the book will be for sale).
About ten years ago, Verbeuren, who has a degree in photography from Cleveland Institute of Art, approached Midnight frontman Athenar about capturing the band for a book of photography. He liked the idea.
“I had sought the band out,” says Verbeuren. “I fell in love with the band and dragged my husband to a show. I didn’t really know Athenar, but we had mutual friends. I hadn’t spoken to him personally. At the time, I was finishing my photography degree and was immersed in creative thought. I had this idea. We made plans, and we did a shoot, and I entered the first photo into a contest and received runnerup. It was exciting. I actually think I should have won the contest. My photo has more edge to it.”
Verbeuren eventually went on the road with the group and shot them at castles in Germany and did photo shoots of the band for magazines like Decibel
“I think the book is what a Midnight fan would want to see,” she says. “I went backstage with them, and it’s a good variety of things.”
Verbeuren says she’s well aware of how male-dominated the metal
world can be and hopes that her book and career serve as an inspiration to other women.TO
P STORIES
“I’m on the road now, and I’m the only female traveling with the group,” she says. “You’re reminded all the time that you’re different, and it’s cool to an extent. It works out okay, but there are reminders that it’s different. I lwhat I’m into, and I have to just believe that I’m not weird, and there’s a reason I’m into all this stuff. I’m selling the book now and getting to meet people in person, and it means a lot to me that girls have come up to me and think it’s great that a girl made this book. That’s been filling my tank. It’s great to have that feedback.”
She also hopes that the book captures the band’s mysterious aura. “I feel like with Midnight, there is this element of danger and risk mixed with some sex and humor and tongue-in-cheek,” she says. “I felt
that that is necessary at the core. In some of the pictures, you can laugh at Athenar, and he’s laughing with you. I wanted to capture the personalities of the band members.”
Capturing the band’s essence has been challenging given that members don masks for their performances.
“It’s quite hard when you’re dealing with people in black masks,” says Verbeuren. “I had to capture moments that created that feeling without any kind of exchange through eyes and smiles and anything. It was important to get that essence. There’s an energy to the live shows, and there is mystique behind the scenes. It’s cool to keep that mystique there but also give people something they haven’t seen before.”
MTHE COVER OF HANNAH VERBEUREN’S NEW BOOK.| Bazillion Points
LEVELING UP
At Scorpacciata in Larchmere, Chef Peter Reuter’s pasta and pizza rise to new heights
By Douglas Trattner
THERE WAS A POINT IN THE evening when the conversation –which admittedly had been rowdy and not at all age-appropriate – turned to the food. It’s not that we hadn’t been enjoying what we were eating up to that point, just that it didn’t command our attention the way the pasta course did. But as the four of us passed around three different bowls, the discussion had nowhere else to go but down to the plates.
On paper, Scorpacciata is a casual pizza and pasta joint, dishing up a familiar collection of Italian classics. But on the plate, those chestnuts soar to new heights thanks to killer technique, clever construction and confident execution. The line between a good plate of pasta and an exceptional one is so tenuous that most kitchens fail to make the leap. Peter Reuter does not fail.
Perhaps it was the fact that many homes still were without power, or maybe it was a dogged attempt to wring every last drop of glee out of summer, but on a warm Wednesday evening, Scorpacciata was thrumming with energy. Both the dining room and the sidewalk patio out front were operating near capacity, with staffers scrambling to keep pace. And keep pace they did, from those golden twilight hours until we tumbled out into the dusk hours later, fat and happy.
Reuter, a Fire Food and Drink alum, launched Scorpacciata Pasta in the Market Hall at Van Aken District in 2018. A couple years later he opened a second stall, Scorpacciata Pizza. The two businesses thrived until late last year, when the owner closed them to focus on a new brick-and-mortar restaurant. That restaurant, set in the formerly fusty Larchmere Tavern, is a buzzy bistro that brings something different and desirable to the neighborhood. Casual enough for a family pizza party, yet chic enough for a date-night dinner at the bar, this newcomer has nudged Larchmere ever closer to the tipping point.
As wonderful as Reuter’s pizza and pasta is, it could never reach its potential when eaten out of cardboard boxes and disposable
bowls, as it was at Van Aken. Here, preceded by appetizers and salads, accompanied with wine, and served on attractive plateware, it shines. Reuter wisely trimmed the dimensions of his pizzas to 12 inches, making them ideal starters or sharable sides. The Mortadella ($20), built atop a golden brown, airy and flexible crust, illustrates the chef’s knack for composition. The arrangement weaves mozzarella, feta, lemon zest, pickled shallots, dollops of pesto and crisp-edged slices of mortadella into edible art. Others star meatballs and sauce, pepperonis and mozz, and Killbuck Valley mushrooms and cream sauce. When I write this year’s Best Things I Ate column, Reuter’s orecchiette pasta ($20) will be on it. Not only is it the best pasta I’ve eaten all year, it’s one of the best dishes I’ve eaten in ages. Big, bold and brash, the dish features chewy al dente pasta, punchy broccoli rabe, kalamata olives and thumb-size chunks of sausage. It’s all tossed with chilies, breadcrumbs and pecorino cheese. A tangle of linguine ($19) is ringed by Little Neck clams,
SCORPACCIATA PASTA CO. 13051 Larchmere Blvd., Shaker Heights 216-279-9800 I scorpacciatapastaco.com
their shells open and inviting. Buttery, briny and bright with lemon, the pasta sets the bar for this enduring favorite. Likewise, the fettuccini carbonara ($20) is silky, rich and indulgent – studded with pancetta and crisp-tender snap peas – without going overboard. Reuter makes the naturally fermented pizza dough and all pasta in-house.
Arancini ($14) arrive crispy on the outside, creamy in the middle, with rice that still feels like rice. Each of the three balls sits in a different sauce: marinara, garlicky aioli and herby gremolata – the colors of the Italian flag. When eaten together, the mild house-made sausage and the hot Hungarian peppers meld into a perfectly spiced bite. The stuffed peppers ($16) are topped with summery tomato sauce.
Reuter breathes new life into the typically dull beet and goat cheese salad ($13) by going easy on the cheese, adding crunchy chickpeas
and tossing the greens in a savory gorgonzola vinaigrette. The Caesar ($13) benefits from spotless greens, quality parm and toasted croutons made from house-baked focaccia.
Beverage prices are below average, with $11 negronis and Manhattans, $6 Head Hunters and many wines by the glass between $9 and $12. Because we too were endeavoring to squeeze every last drop out of summer, we popped a bottle of Don Rodolfo Brut ($53) and toasted the night.
Down the road, Reuter plans to add a few entrees like steak, fish and chicken, but it might be difficult to pry me away from those pitchperfect pies and pastas.
dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner
Photo by Doug Trattner
BITES
First look: Artis, opening in Lakewood August 21st
By Douglas Trattner
LIKE MOST BIG RESTAURANT projects, Artis (17900 Detroit Ave., 216-785-9785) is arriving on the scene a little later than anticipated. Okay, a year later than anticipated. But after two years of work, chefowner Andrew Mansour is ready to open the doors to his new restaurant, which he will do on Wednesday, August 21st.
The construction transformed the former Side Quest/Eddy & Iggy’s building into a sleek and modern steakhouse with art deco accents. The 90-seat bar and dining room features a wall of glass that looks out onto Detroit Avenue.
Mansour describes Artis as “a steakhouse that’s not a steakhouse.”
There will be a roster of premium chops like a strip, ribeye and 28-ounce dry-aged porterhouse. But there will also be shareable starters, many vegetable dishes and a healthy amount of seafood.
The menu is arranged into sections titled Now, Soon, Later and Worth the Wait. Quick snacks like bourbon candied almonds, warm citrus and herb olives, and labneh with flatbread will be followed by shrimp cocktail, sea scallop crudo and lobster bisque soup dumplings. In addition to the steaks, there will be pan-seared scallops with coconut creamed corn and black sea bass with crispy rice cakes.
Artis will be dinner only to start, with weekend brunch coming online in two months or so.
The reservation line opens August 14.
Birdietown Mini Golf and Lounge to Open in Lakewood This Fall
Over the past few years, the so-called eatertainment trend has brought us venues that blend food, drink and fun in the form of arcade games, duckpin bowling, shuffleboard and golf sims. One of the latest activities to enter the ring is miniature golf, with places like Puttshack and Puttery making names for themselves.
One person bullish on the
concept is Tim Frazee, who will open Birdietown Mini Golf and Lounge in the Birdtown neighborhood of Lakewood. The two-level, 12,000-square-foot venue will take shape in the Nest facility (12501 Madison Ave.), which is home to Phoenix Coffee and Heyday Collective, which Frazee operates with his wife Erin.
“There’s been over $200 million invested over the past 18 months in indoor mini golf alone,” Frazee says.
Birdietown will be all Cleveland, adds the owner. The holes and course are being designed and built by Shred & Co., the brains and brawn behind numerous projects around town. Jill Vedaa of Salt and Poppy will be consulting on the food side of things. And Madeline Beck of Interiors By Madeline is the creative force behind the look and feel.
Like shuffleboard, ping pong and classic arcade games, mini golf brings with it a pleasant sense of nostalgia. Who hasn’t spent a vacation day banging a ball around an Astroturf course?
“It’s a game that’s very accessible; you don’t have to explain the rules,” says Frazee. “It’s going to be challenging for sure – I think it will get the competitive juices flowing for the people who really love golf – but it’s more for fun; it’s miniature golf.”
Unlike the typical beat-tohell putt-putt course, Birdietown will offer a completely different experience, where food, drink and fun collide in a well-designed space with two bars and a restaurant. And unlike those all-ages beach courses, Birdietown will be adults only (with possible exceptions during certain hours on certain days).
“I don’t think many people have played mini golf in a bar,” Frazee says. “You think about playing outdoors, with the ball bouncing off of rocks, going through different water features. If you come into a bar with a higher-end feel, professionally designed with food and cocktails, you don’t expect to see miniature golf.”
The owner describes the place as
a “date-night” destination. The lower level will feature a speakeasy-type bar with premium cocktails. The main level boasts 15-foot ceilings, a second bar and a restaurant, and 18 holes of indoor miniature golf. Each golf hole will have drink stands and players are encouraged to order beverages during play. There will be a system in place for the servers to find the customers.
Don’t let the games fool you, says Frazee; his plan is to make Birdietown a destination for diners as much as fun-seekers. The 150-seat restaurant will be open to all, whether or not mini golf is in the plans.
“We’re also trying to be one of the best restaurants in Cleveland, which is why we’re working with Jill,” Frazee adds.
Vedaa will develop the menu and help guide the restaurant to success. While early in the planning, the menu will offer a mix of small plates and entrees.
Frazee says that Birdietown is on pace to open in mid to late fall.
Service Wet Grinding, Cleveland’s Sole Commercial Knife Sharpener, Closing After 119 Years
For 119 years, Service Wet Grinding has been supplying commercial food establishments in and around Cleveland with sharp knives on a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly basis. Beneath a nondescript storefront on Prospect, a dozen employees grind, hone, buff and box a wide array of blades that make their way to thousands of accounts throughout the region.
For just as long, Service Wet Grinding has been one of the only places in town for chefs and home cooks to take their quality cutlery to be professionally sharpened.
All that has ended.
“We’ve sold the business,” says owner Ms. Ambrose. “It’s kind of sad that we’re closing, actually, but we do what we have to do.”
Service Wet Grinding was sold to Cozzini Bros., a 120-year-old knifesharpening business in Chicago. That company has its own equipment and facilities, so the Prospect Avenue shop will be winding down completely and its equipment sold off. In essence, Cozzini is buying a customer list 119 years in the making.
The sale likely will not affect local commercial accounts like restaurants, supermarkets, and other food-service providers, as Cozzini will step right in with their own products and route salespeople.
“I do business up and down the East Coast, and everywhere we go Cozzini Brothers is there,” says John Selick, Director of Culinary at Metz Culinary Management. “They do a good job.”
But where does that leave home cooks like you and me? Likely reaching for alternatives like mail order services and small, independent sharpeners.
“Home cooks might be out of luck,” says Selick.
Photo by Doug Trattner
LIVEWIRE Real music in the real world
WED 08/14
Missy Elliott
Ciara, Busta Rhymes and Timbaland share the bill with recent Rock Hall Inductee Missy Elliott, who performs tonight at 7 at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse. Expect Elliott to deliver classic tracks like “Get Ur Freak On,” an intoxicating mix of funk, R&B and hip-hop that celebrates individuality. 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
Sons of Cream
Malcom Bruce and Kofi Baker are sons of two of the original members of the British blues band Cream. The third member of this trio is guitarist Rob Johnson, who is a grandnephew of Cream drummer Ginger Baker. Together, they pay tribute to Cream (and they cover two Blind Faith tunes as well). The group performs tonight at 7:30 at Music Box Supper Club. 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com.
THU 08/15
Jeff “Skunk” Baxter
Known for his work with Steely Dan and The Doobie Brothers, Jeff “Skunk” Baxter has collaborated with Elton John, Joni Mitchell, Jimi Hendrix and Barbra Streisand. For this show at the Music Box, he’ll showcase his first solo album, Speed of Heat. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com.
Hootie & the Blowfish
When Hootie & the Blowfish played Blossom in 2019, the band began its set with a rousing rendition of “Hannah Jane,” and singer Darius Rucker effortlessly commanded the stage, even though his voice was a bit buried in the mix at the concert’s start. He led the audience through a clap-along “I Go Blind,” and his voice came into focus on a cover of Radney Foster’s “A Fine Line.” Expect a similar performance when the band returns to Blossom tonight at 7. 1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, livenation.com.
FRI 08/16
Chuchito Valdés International Trio
A master of Cuban music, Chuchito Valdés has also extensively studied classical music. His original compositions and arrangements draw on classical harmonic and structural techniques. He draws on many styles including Afro-Cuban Latin Jazz, Bebop, Danzon, Cha-Cha-Cha, Son Montuno and much more. Valdés currently resides in Cancun, Mexico and is a frequent performer in the United State and Canada., He and his band perform at 7:30 tonight and tomorrow night at Market Garden Brewery. 1947 West 25th St., 216-621-4000, marketgardenbrewery.com.
SAT 08/17
Floyd Nation
The Pink Floyd tribute act performs at 8:30 p.m. at Cain Park in Cleveland Heights. The band will even bring backing singers and a saxophonist with it as it recreates tunes by the psychedelic
rock act.
14591 Superior Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216-371-3000, cainpark.com.
Angie McMahon
This singer-songwriter arrives at the Grog Shop in Cleveland Heights after playing Glastonbury and in front of 14,000 fans in Australia. Expect to hear some tunes from an upcoming EP featuring songs that were written and recorded during the same period as her new album Light, Dark, Light Again. The concert begins at 8:30 p.m. 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-5588, grogshop.gs.
TUE 08/20
Iron & Wine
This veteran indie rock band recently returned with Light Verse, its first full-length release in over seven years. Standout single, a tune that could pass as an old-time country standard, finds frontman Sam Beam harmonizing perfectly with Fiona Apple. The indie rock act comes to the Agora Theatre tonight at
Hootie & the Blowfish return to Blossom. See: Thursday, Aug. 15.|Jeff Johnson
6:30. Sunny War opens.
5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
WED 08/21
Glass Animals
Having just released I Love You So Fucking Much, the follow-up to 2020’s hit Dreamland, which sold over 12 million copies globally thanks to the infectious hit “Heat Waves,” reportedly the biggest international hit song from a British band in almost 30 years, the Glass Animals have embarked on a lengthy U.S. tour. The alternative rock act plays tonight at 7:45 at Blossom.
1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, livenation.com.
Koe Wetzel
The Texas singer-songwriter gained a cult following with the release of his 2016 album, Noise Complaint, which mixed country, rock, hip-hop and even grunge. On tour in support of his latest effort, 9 Lives, he performs tonight at 6 at Jacobs Pavilion. Treaty Oak Revival and Dylan Wheeler open.
2014 Sycamore St., 216-861-4080, jacobspavilion.com.
THU 08/22
The Doobie Brothers
When the Doobie Brothers opened for Santana at Blossom in 2019, they delivered an opening set laden with their hits from the ‘70s. A vibrant saxophone solo put a punctuation mark on a rousing rendition of “Without You,” and the band played “China Grove,” a track that featured pitch perfect harmony vocals, with a real fierceness. Expect something similar tonight when the classic rock act returns to Blossom at 7.
1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, livenation.com.
FRI 08/23
The Avett Brothers
Back in the early 2000s, this folk rock group out of North Carolina started playing a primitive approximation of bluegrass and folk music but has evolved into a band that can adroitly draw from a wide range of influences. On tour in support of a self-titled album, the band performs tonight at 6:30 at Jacobs Pavilion. Sammy Rae & the Friends open.
2014 Sycamore St., 216-861-4080, jacobspavilion.com.
Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Band leader Randy Bachman gained fame with both the Guess Who and BTO. He now has more than120 gold and platinum album/singles awards around the world.
He brings BTO to MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage. 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark.mgmresorts.com/en.html.
Samara Joy
Inspired by Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday, this soul/jazz singer won high praise for last year’s Linger Awhile, which even picked up a Grammy. She performs tonight at 8 at Cain Park in Cleveland Heights.
14591 Superior Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216-371-3000, cainpark.com.
Graham Nash
The two-time Rock Hall Inductee brings his tour in support of his new album, Now, to the Kent Stage. He’s called the release the “most personal” album he’s ever made.
175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-677-5005, kentstage.org.
SAT 08/24
King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard Melbourne’s King Gizzard has made a name for itself with its experimental jams that draw from both psych rock and synth pop. The psychedelic rock band comes to town tonight as part of a tour in support of its latest effort, Flight b741. The wacky single “Hog Calling Contest” sounds like Primus on acid. The group plays at 6 at Jacobs Pavilion. The indie rock band Geese opens the show. 2014 Sycamore St., 216-861-4080, jacobspavilion.com.
SUN 08/25
The Robert Cray Band and Steve Earle Bluesman Robert Cray and alt-country icon Steve Earle bring their co-headlining tour to Cain Park in Cleveland Heights. Cray had his biggest hits in the ‘80s but has kept steadily recording and touring and so has Earle, who just released his live album, Alone Again (Live), which features his hits “Copperhead Road,” “The Galway Girl” and “Guitar Town.” The concert begins at 8 p.m. 14591 Superior Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216-371-3000, cainpark.com.
O.A.R.
Perhaps best known for the quirky underground hit “That Was a Crazy Game of Poker,” the jam band with Columbus, OH roots returns to Jacobs Pavilion tonight at 6. Fitz and the Tantrums open the show.
2014 Sycamore St., 216-861-4080, jacobspavilion.com.
SAVAGE LOVE
WHAT EATS YOU
By Dan Savage
I’m a queer cis woman in my late 30s with a problem: I don’t like having my pussy eaten. This isn’t about me being uncomfortable with the way my pussy looks or smells or tastes. I just don’t like the sensation. At best, I get close but eventually plateau, which is frustrating. At worst, it feels slimy, like a slug exploring my genitals. Also, being on my back with my knees up reminds me of being at the gynecologist, which is not sexy. In the end, it’s just not my thing. But the actual problem for me is modern men. They are obsessed with eating pussy and get very pouty when you don’t think it’s the best. I like plenty of other things — being held and talked dirty to, light teasing with their mouths, fingering, etc. — but they all want to get me off orally. I get a lot of, “You just haven’t had it done right,” or, “Wait until I do it for you,” and then they get mad when (surprise!) I don’t like this thing I don’t like. I tried dating a couple of men who “don’t eat pussy,” but those men didn’t seem to care at all about getting a woman off. And while I’m queer, it feels like cunnilingus is even more important when you’re hooking up with other women/AFABs. Honestly, I feel like faking it with new partners and enjoying my actual orgasms alone would be easier than opening about this to new people. Being treated like a freak has turned sex, which is supposed to be fun, into something that makes me feel bad about myself.
Any advice would be appreciated. At the very least, Dan, maybe you could make a public service announcement telling people that being GGG for a cis woman doesn’t just mean eating her pussy, it means showing a genuine interest in who she is as an individual sexual being.
Wish I Liked Licks
Let’s get that PSA out of the way: Not everyone likes receiving oral! There are cis men who don’t like having their cocks sucked! There are cis women who don’t like having their pussies eaten! There are trans men who don’t like having their pussies eaten or their neophalluses sucked and trans women who don’t like having their cocks sucked or their neovaginas eaten and enbies who don’t like having their genitals — whatever form they take — licked or sucked! People are allowed to dislike things! Even things you’re good at! Even things most people like! Being
GGG means listening to people when they tell you what they like! And doing those things! If they’re things you like too! It’s really not hard!
I hope that helps, WILL, but since PSAs never reach 100% of their target demo, you’ll still have to tell new partners you dislike receiving oral sex. Which means, if you don’t wanna spend the rest of your life faking orgasms before sneaking away to get yourself off (which sounds worse than having to explain that receiving oral isn’t what you want), you’re gonna have to use your words.
Pro-tip: don’t string weak-ass words together into mealymouthed statements like, “Sometimes I get close from oral but I’ve never gotten off from oral and there are other things we could do if that’s okay?” The kind of guys you wanna fuck — who are, ironically enough, the kind of guys who do wanna eat pussy — are highly likely to interpret a statement like that as a cry for help. Many of them may have been with women in the past who were uncomfortable with their own genitals and/or had never been with a guy who loved eating pussy, WILL, and thanks to their persistence — in offering oral over and over again — dozens or hundreds of other women overcame their hangups and discovered that they loved being on the receiving end of oral sex. That is how it sometimes goes down. But that’s not how it’s gonna go down for you.
You don’t have issues with how your pussy looks, smells, or tastes and you’ve been with plenty of men who loved eating pussy. You’ve give it a try… again and again and again… and it’s not for you. So, when you’re with a new sex partner, WILL, you need to hammer that point home with a clear and emphatic statement like this: “You’re one of the good guys — I hate straight guys who don’t go down on women — but plenty of people who were really good at eating pussy have gone down on me and it does nothing for me. Not only doesn’t it turn me on, it turns me the fuck off. And that’s not what either of us is here for. So, about those fingers of yours…”
Zooming out for a second, WILL, you say you’re frustrated by modern men who seem to believe eating pussy is synonymous with meeting a woman’s needs — and you’re proof that isn’t true for all women — but you’ve found that retrograde men who loudly refuse to eat pussy are worse, as those men don’t care about getting a woman off.
I have some good news for you, WILL: your choices aren’t limited to guys who won’t shut up about how much they love eating pussy and guys who won’t shut up about how much they hate it. Because mixed into the pile of modern men who seem
obsessed with eating pussy, WILL, you will find a small number of modern men who are only pretending to be obsessed. And in that pile of queer women (and AFABs) you might wanna fuck or date, WILL, you will find a small number of women (and AFABs) who enjoy everything about sapphic sex except the eating pussy part.
The kind of partner you want is someone who goes through the motions of pushing back when you say you don’t want to receive oral sex (“Wait until I do it for you!”) but who doesn’t push back for long. In other words, WILL, you want someone who’s relieved to learn they don’t have to eat your pussy but whose relief isn’t obvious. If you can own that — if you can admit to wanting a partner who either wants to eat your pussy but doesn’t insist on it or someone does a very good impression of someone wants to eat your pussy — you’ll have an easier time tolerating the pushback you’re inevitably going to receive when you share this fact about yourself. Because that pushback is good sign, WILL, a sign that this person is worth the time and effort required to convince them that, no, you really and truly don’t want to receive oral sex.
Advice Negotiating Anal Leeway Anal can be a dealbreaker — anything can be a dealbreaker — and Liz Lemon never said dealbreakers had to fair. But dealbreakers cut both ways. Meaning, your partner is free to say, “I’m gonna break up with you if I can’t fuck your ass with my giant dick,” ANAL, but you’re free to say to him, “If you pressure me to do things that don’t feel good — and trying to shove a plug in my ass without warning did not feel good — I’m gonna dump your ass before we can figure out whether your dick feels good in mine.”
My partner and I have been dating for almost a year, and everything’s been amazing—this is the best relationship I’ve had in a long time. We have a Dom/Sub dynamic, and he really wants me to get into anal play, something I’m new to. Early in our relationship, we tried, but I was on a medication that made me nauseous, so it was unpleasant. I’m no longer on that medication. He hasn’t pushed the subject since, until the other day when he tried to insert a plug without much warning. I told him I need more comfort and preparation before we dive into that kind of play, especially since I’m a novice at anal. I also confessed I’ve been dealing with some GI issues. He made it clear that he eventually wants to fuck my ass with his giant cock, and he seems to think I’m just making excuses, and not trying hard enough. Which to be fair, I haven’t done much solo exploration with plugs. And while he hasn’t been forceful, he mentioned that not progressing with anal could be a dealbreaker for him. Is that fair? Can anal really be a dealbreaker? How do I navigate this without compromising my comfort while still being a good partner?
As prices of admission go, ANAL, having butt sex that doesn’t feel good is too steep a price to pay. Going without anal sex, on the other hand, is a price many have paid to be with someone they loved. If your “amazing” new partner with the giant dick isn’t willing to contemplate going without anal for you — if he can’t even entertain paying that price of admission — he probably doesn’t deserve your ass.
P.S. To make someone feel excited about exploring anal sex — to get them to open up — you have to make them feel physically and emotionally safe. Shoving a toy into someone’s ass without warning is great way to make them feel physically unsafe; threatening to break up with someone if they can’t take your giant dick up their ass is a great way to make them feel emotionally unsafe. If your boyfriend can’t see that he’s doing this all wrong, ANAL, it’s not just your ass he can’t be trusted with.
Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love!
Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan! Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love
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