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December 14, 2012

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Taming

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Making healthy food and activity choices

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By Jenny Huang, BASc. Nutrition Student and Ellen Lakusiak, RD

Do you worry that your child is a poor eater? You are not the only one. Parents of toddler and preschool children have many concerns about their children’s growth and development. One of the most important jobs of being a parent is teaching your child how to make healthy food and activity choices. Eating well helps a child feel good, stay fit and healthy and prevents chronic disease in later life. Adequate nutrition in children also helps them grow and do their best in school.

Learning habits at a young age

As adults, we control what, where, when and how we eat.

However, this is not the same for children, who are often influenced by the people nearest and dearest to them. Healthy eating and physical activity habits are learned at an early age. Children learn as much from what parents and caregivers do as from what they say.

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NutriSTEP® is a questionnaire for parents and caregivers of toddlers aged 18 to 35 months and preschoolers three to five years old. It helps parents and caregivers know if their child is eating well and getting enough physical activity. If issues are found early, it lowers the risk of health problems such as iron deficiency anemia or obesity. The NutriSTEP® questionnaire is designed to be completed by parents, caregivers or community professionals.

Tips for encouraging healthy eating and physical activity • Refer to Eating Well with Canada’s Food Guide (to access Canada’s Food Guide visit: www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/food-guidealiment/index-eng.php).

• Offer healthy foods at every meal and snack.

• Eat family meals as often as possible.

• Offer healthy drinks, including water.

• Trust your child’s appetite.

• Turn off any TV or potential distractions while eating.

• Stay fit with fun activities.

• Allow children to move as much as possible.

The habits your child learns today will follow him into adulthood. Work together with your child to build healthy eating and physical activity habits because as a parent and caregiver, you are your child’s best role model.

If you have concerns about your child’s eating habits, speak to a Registered Dietitian at EatRight Ontario by calling toll-free 1-877510-510-2, Monday to Friday. You can ask a question using email by visiting their website at www.ontario.ca/eatright.

For more information about NutriSTEP go to www.nutristep.ca

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What is NutriSTEP®?

What should you expect?

NutriSTEP® can be used in preschools, parent education programs, school board kindergarten registration and by doctors or other health professionals. It is a simple survey that consists of 17 questions and takes five minutes to complete. The questions cover topics like how many times a child eats fruit in a day; how often a child eats while watching TV; if a child is physically active or not; if a child has problems eating; and if the parent is comfortable with how a child is growing. The preschooler version is available in eight languages, including English, French, Simplified and Traditional Chinese, Punjabi, Spanish, Tamil and Vietnamese. However, the newer toddler version is available only in English and French.

Each question will get a score and the total will decide a child’s level of nutritional risk: low (20 or less), moderate (21 to 25) or high (26 and greater). A low risk score means that a child’s eating and activity habits are good. A moderate risk score means that a child’s habits can be improved by making small changes.

These parents are given the contact information for a number of community and provincial programs such as EatRight Ontario.

A high risk score means that a child’s habits need improvement.

Nutrition information and health professional contacts are given and parents are encouraged to talk to a health professional such as their child’s doctor.

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CPcaringforkids

Your baby’s developing brain needs a strong foundation

By Dr. Danielle Grenier

Q: We’re expecting our first baby in a couple of months. I’d like to know how we can support healthy brain development.

A: Your baby’s brain is built over time: It starts during pregnancy and continues through to early adulthood.

And like a building, it needs a strong foundation.

The brain is made up of several different areas that control everything we do – from hearing and walking to problem-solving and how we feel. Each area has millions of brain cells, or neurons. These neurons communicate with each other by passing chemical messages over tiny spaces called synapses. As the messages are repeated over and over, more links are made and “neural pathways” are formed. Think of these pathways as the brain’s “wiring.” In the first years of life, these connections develop at an extremely fast pace.

So how does this development happen? That’s where parents come in. You can help your baby’s brain develop in healthy ways.

It doesn’t take special toys or equipment, and it’s easier than you might think!

Did you know…?

• Your baby’s brain wiring is not fully connected at birth. It is very active, changing and developing in response to what’s going on all around her. It is the day-to-day experiences – activities like playing, being read to, learning, and interacting and being responded to by people – that help to develop your baby’s brain.

• How well all the wiring gets set up – that is, how your baby’s brain develops – will affect her ability to learn language, solve problems and do well in school. Later in life, it can affect her physical and emotional health and how she gets along with other people.

• Relationships are crucial. Loving, consistent, positive relationships help build healthy brains and protect your baby’s brain from the negative effects of stress.

• Even very young infants can experience stress when the places they live and play in feel unsafe, or are frightening. “Toxic” stress – which is much more serious than short-lived, everyday stress – is caused by persistent problems like extreme marital conflict, poverty, abuse, neglect, being exposed to violence, having a parent who misuses drugs or alcohol, or having a parent with an untreated mental illness. Toxic stress is harmful to your baby’s developing brain. It can lead to physical, learning and emotional problems in childhood, and these problems can carry on right into adulthood. If you’re concerned about the situation in your home, talk to your doctor or your baby’s doctor.

Your baby’s developing brain needs: Responsive, nurturing, positive experiences: Everyday experiences help shape your baby’s brain – from your daily routines to the people your baby comes in contact with. Babies need to live and play in healthy spaces with opportunities to learn and grow. And they need you to learn how to recognize when they are tired, hungry, stressed or that they want a cuddle or hug from you. Responding warmly and predictably to your baby and creating routines help babies feel safe. It shows them that that they can count on you when they are sick, upset or distressed, and that you can meet their needs. Babies need their parents and caregivers to respond to them in loving, caring and consistent ways.

Fun activities: Talking, reading and singing to your baby are all fun and easy ways to help her grow. So are simple games like getting down on the floor for some tummy time with your young baby, or playing peek-a-boo with your five-month-old.

Good food: If you are able to breastfeed, breastmilk is the best food you can give your baby for the first six months of life (and well beyond, with complementary foods). Whether you breastfeed or use formula, think of feeding time as a brain-building time too: making eye contact, smiling and having skin contact are all positive experiences. As your baby grows, be sure to offer iron-rich foods and foods with a variety of nutrients, like fruit and vegetables.

Your baby doesn’t need expensive toys. The loving, smiling faces of adults who respond to them are the best toys EVER. Many electronic toys, DVDs and TV shows are marketed as “educational” for babies. But there is no research to back up claims that these products help babies learn. Watching a DVD or TV show is passive. Babies need to actively interact with you and other people in their lives, and explore their world. Screen time is not recommended for children under two.

As a parent you can: Respond to your baby. This is especially important when your baby is sick, hungry, upset or just needs some comfort. But babies also reach out for you in countless positive ways – by babbling, making sounds or smiling. When you respond in a loving and consistent way, you help baby’s brain develop.

Provide a safe and loving home for your baby. Develop daily routines that your baby can count on. Keep your home calm.

Help your baby explore her surroundings, both inside and out. Play helps babies learn, and you are your child’s first playmate.

Playing simple games will help her learn about the people and the world around her. And remember to talk to your baby as you go through your daily routines. Tell your baby what is going on, point out interesting things that you see together and help her develop her other senses – hearing, touch, taste and smell.

Get regular health care for your baby. Your baby should be seen by a healthcare provider on a regular basis. Keep vaccines up-to-date and talk to your provider about development and what to expect next.

Develop community connections. Get to know the services and programs available in your neighbourhood. Many communities have agencies or centres that serve young families. Playgroups and drop-ins are great places to meet other parents, and many have visiting professionals who can answer your questions. If you’re not sure where to go, try contacting your local community centre, public library, public health unit or family resource program.

Choose quality child care. When you need to be away from your baby, make sure you leave her with a caregiver who will care for her the same way you do. Choose someone you trust, who will respond to your baby’s emotional needs and provide a safe and healthy environment with opportunities to learn and grow.

Reach out if you need help. If you feel stressed, overwhelmed, depressed or need some support caring for your baby, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Talk to your health care provider, your family or contact a local community agency.

Dr. Danielle Grenier is a general paediatrician in the Ottawa area. She is Medical Affairs Director for the Canadian Paediatric Society.

For more information on your child’s growth and development, get answers from Canada’s paediatric experts www.caringforkids. cps.ca or www.soinsdenosenfants.cps.ca. You can also find us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/caringforkids.cps.ca and on Twitter @CaringforKids.

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www.capitalparent.ca PUBLISHER MARK SUTCLIFFE mark@greatriver.ca EDITOR JAYNE ROONEY 613-238-1818 Ext. 279 editor@greatriver.ca CONTRIBUTORS THE CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL OF EASTERN ONTARIO THE CANADIAN PAEDIATRIC SOCIETY CITY OF OTTAWA PREGNANCY & CHILD HEALTH PROGRAM THE ADLERIAN COUNSELLING & CONSULTING GROUP THE PARENT RESOURCE CENTRE Kate Aley Life Literacy Canada KidsHealth GRAPHIC DESIGN and PRODUCTION AND COVER PHOTO BILLIE MACDONALD ADVERTISING Mike Beard 613-238-1818 Ext. 270 V.P. SALES TERRY TYO 613-238-1818 Ext. 268 terry@greatriver.ca CAPITAL PARENT IS PUBLISHED BY CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER MARK SUTCLIFFE PRESIDENT MICHAEL CURRAN CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER DONNA NEIL OFFICE LOCATION: 250 CITY CENTRE DRIVE SUITE 500, OTTAWA MAILING ADDRESS: P.O. BOX 3814, STATION C OTTAWA, ON K1Y 4J8 4 December 14, 2012

Taming tempers

Parents expect temper tantrums from twoyear-olds, but angry outbursts don’t necessarily stop after the toddler years. Older kids sometimes have trouble handling anger and frustration, too.

Some kids lose their cool only on occasion. But others seem to have a harder time when things don’t go their way. Kids who tend to have strong reactions by nature will need more help from parents to manage their tempers.

Controlling outbursts can be difficult for kids – and helping them to learn to do so is a tough job for the parents who love them. Try to be patient and positive, and know that these skills take time to develop and that just about every child can improve with the right coaching.

A parent’s role

Managing kids can be a challenge. Some days keeping the peace while keeping your cool seems impossible. But whether you’re reacting to an occasional temper flare-up or a pattern of outbursts, managing your own anger when things get heated will make it easier to teach kids to do the same.

To help tame a temper, try to be your child’s ally – you’re both rooting for your child to triumph over the temper that keeps leading to trouble.

While your own patience may be frayed by angry outbursts, opposition, defiance, arguing and talking back, it’s during these episodes that you need your patience most. Of course you feel angry, but what counts is how you handle it.

Reacting to kids’ meltdowns with yelling and outbursts of your own will only teach them to do the same (and is actually associated with an increase in children’s negative behaviours). But keeping your cool and calmly working through a frustrating situation lets you show – and teach – appropriate ways to handle anger and frustration.

Let’s say you hear your kids fighting over a toy in the other room. You have ignored it, hoping that they would work it out themselves. But the arguing turns into screaming and soon you hear doors slamming and the thump of hitting and crying.

You decide to get involved before someone gets really hurt.

By the time you arrive at the scene of the fight, you may be at the end of your own rope. After all, the sound of screaming is upsetting, and you may be frustrated that your kids aren’t sharing or trying to get along. (And you know that this toy they’re fighting over is going to be lost, broken or ignored before long anyway!)

So what’s the best way for you to react? With your own self-control intact. Teaching by example is your most powerful tool. Speak calmly, clearly and firmly – not with anger, blame, harsh criticisms, threats or putdowns.

Of course, that’s easier said than done. But remember that you’re trying to teach your kids how to handle anger. If you yell or threaten, you’ll model and ingrain the exact kinds of behaviour you want to discourage. Your kids will see that you’re so angry and unable to control your own temper that you can’t help but scream – and that won’t help them learn not to scream.

What you can do

Regulating emotions and managing behaviour are skills that develop slowly over time during childhood. Just like any other skills, your kids will need to learn and practise them, with your help.

If it’s uncharacteristic for your child to have a tantrum, on the rare occasion that it happens, all you may need to do is clearly but calmly review the rules. “I know you’re upset, but no yelling and no

name-calling, please” may be all your child needs to gain composure. Follow up by clearly, calmly and patiently giving an instruction like “Tell me what you’re upset about” or “Please apologize to your brother for calling him that name.” In this way, you’re guiding your child back to acceptable behaviour and encouraging self-control.

Also, tell your child what will happen if he or she doesn’t calm down – for example, “If you don’t calm down, you need to go to your room until you’re able to stop screaming.”

Kids whose temper outbursts are routine might lack the self-control necessary to deal with frustration and anger and need more help managing those emotions. These steps can help: Help kids put it into words. If your child is in the midst of an outburst, find out what’s wrong. If necessary, use a time-out to get your child to settle down or calmly issue a reminder about house rules and expectations – “There’s no yelling or throwing stuff; please stop that right now and cool your jets.”

Remind your child to talk to you without whining, sulking or yelling. Once your child calms down, ask what got her so upset. You might say, “Use your words to tell me what’s wrong and what you’re mad about.” This helps your child put emotions into words and figure out what, if anything, needs to be done to solve the problem. However, don’t push too hard for your child to talk right then. She may need some time to reflect before being ready to talk.

Listen and respond. Once your child puts the feelings into words, it’s up to you to listen and say that you understand. If your child is struggling for words, offer some help: “So that made you angry,” “You must have felt frustrated,” or “That must have hurt your feelings.” Offer to help find an answer if there’s a problem to be solved, a conflict to be mended or an apology to be made.

Many times, feeling listened to and understood is all kids need to regain their composure. But while acknowledging your child’s feelings, make it clear that strong emotions aren’t an excuse for

unacceptable behaviour. “I know you’re mad, but it’s still not okay to hit.” Then tell your child some things to try instead. Some kids really just need to be “heard” first.

Create clear ground rules and stick to them. Set and maintain clear expectations for what is and what is not acceptable, without using threats, accusations or putdowns. Your child will get the message if you make clear, simple statements about what’s off limits and explain what you want him or her to do. You might say: “There’s no yelling in this house. Use your words to tell me what’s upsetting you.” Try to have these discussions before an anger outburst so kids know the expectations ahead of time.

Or try these: • In this family we don’t hit, push or shove.

• There’s no screaming allowed.

• There’s no door-slamming in our house.

• There’s no name calling.

• We don’t do that in this family.

• You may not throw things or break things on purpose.

Coping strategies for kids Kids who’ve learned that it’s not okay to yell, hit and throw stuff when they’re upset need other strategies for calming down when they’re angry.

Offer some ideas to help them learn safe ways to get the anger out or to find other activities that can create a better mood.

Take a break from the situation. Tell your kids that it’s okay to walk away from a conflict to avoid an angry outburst. By moving to another part of the house or the backyard, a child can get some space and work on calming down.

Find a way to (safely) get the anger out. There may be no punching walls, but you can suggest some good ways for a child to vent. Doing a bunch of jumping jacks, dancing around the bedroom or going outside and doing cartwheels are all good choices. Or your child can choose to write about or draw a picture of what is so upsetting.

Continued on page 5

Learn to shift. This one is tough for kids – and adults, too. Explain that part of calming down is moving from a really angry mood to a more in-control mood. Instead of thinking of the person or situation that caused the anger, encourage kids to think of something else to do that might bring about a better mood – like a walk around the block, a bike ride, playing a game, reading a favourite book, digging in the garden or listening to a favourite song. Try one of these things together so you both experience how doing something different can change the way a person feels.

Building a strong foundation

Fortunately, really angry episodes don’t happen too often for most kids. Those with temper troubles often have an active, strong-willed style and extra energy that needs to be discharged.

Try these steps during the calm times – they can prevent problems before they start, by helping kids learn and practise skills needed to manage the heat of the moment: Make sure kids get enough sleep. Sleep is very important to their well-being. The link between a lack of sleep and a child’s behaviour isn’t always obvious. When adults are tired they can be grumpy or have low energy, but kids can become hyper or disagreeable or have extremes in behaviour.

Most kids’ sleep requirements fall within a predictable range of hours based on their age, but each child is a unique individual with distinct sleep needs.

Help them label emotions. Help kids get in the habit of saying what they’re feeling and why – for example, “I’m mad because I have to clean my

room while my friends are playing.” Using words doesn’t get a child out of doing a chore, but having the discussion can calm the situation. You’re having a conversation instead of an argument.

Praise your child for talking about it instead of slamming the door, for instance.

See that kids get a lot of physical activity. Active play can really help kids who have big tempers. Encourage outside play and sports your child likes. Karate, wrestling and running can be especially good for kids who are trying to get their tempers under control. But any activity that gets the heart pumping can help burn off energy and stress.

Encourage kids to take control. Compare a temper to a puppy that hasn’t yet learned to behave and that’s running around all over the place getting into things. Puppies might not mean to be bad – but they need to be trained so that they can learn that there’s no eating shoes, no jumping on people or certain furniture, etc. The point is that your child’s temper – like a puppy – needs to be trained to learn when it’s okay to play, how to use all that extra energy and how to follow rules.

Recognize successes. Many times these go unnoticed, so be sure to comment on how well your child handled a difficult situation when you see positive behaviours.

Try to be flexible. Parenting can be a tiring experience, but try not to be too rigid. Hearing a constant chorus of “no” can be disheartening for kids. Sometimes, of course, “no” is absolutely the only answer – “No, you can’t ride your bike without your helmet!” But other times you might let the kids win one. For instance, if your child wants to keep the wiffle ball game going a little longer, maybe give it 15 more minutes.

Try to identify “at-risk” situations and be proactive. For example, if your child has dif-

ficulty with transitions, give warnings ahead of time. Similarly, if your kids have trouble turning off the television when asked, be clear how long they can watch TV or play video games and then set a five-minute warning timer. Be sure to enforce the agreement.

As anyone who’s been really angry knows, following sensible advice can be tough when emotions run high. Give your kids responsibility for getting under control, but be there to remind them how to do it.

Most kids can learn to get better at handling anger and frustration. But if your child frequently gets into fights and arguments with friends, siblings and adults, additional help might be needed. Talk with the other adults in your child’s life – teachers, school counsellors and coaches might be able to help, and your child’s doctor can recommend a counsellor or psychologist. © 1995-2012. The Nemours Foundation/KidsHealth®. Reprinted with permission. www.kidshealth.org

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CPconnectingparents

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year See you in 2013!

Wondering what to do with the kids now that they are home for the holidays? Ottawa has lots of venues and activities to participate in, both inside and outside.

But with the onset of colder weather, it’s not always easy to get out of the house and may take a little planning on your part.

First, here are a few things you can do to get organized before the heavy snow falls.

• Find the snowsuits, mitts, hats and boots and see if they still fit.

• Label everything.

• Boots will end up on the correct feet more often if there is some way to tell right from left. One idea is to use a permanent marker to put a small line or dot on the inside edge of the sole of the boot. Tell your child that these marks always need to touch and go on the inside of their feet.

• Have places to store each child’s clothing so they are easy to find and keep organized. Some families use bins, some use cubbies and some use drawers.

Cooperation from your child will make the task of getting out much smoother. While learning to dress himself can be frustrating, it will give your child pride in his accomplishments and build selfesteem and problem-solving skills. Here are some hints to make dressing for the outdoors easier: • Getting a winter jacket on is easy with this “secret agent” technique. Have your child lay her coat on the floor in front of her with the head of the coat at her feet (coat facing up). Next, have her put her arms into the coat – yes upside down – then flip the coat up and over her head. Kids love this fun trick!

• Put mittens on before the coat … this will help them stay tucked in.

• Transitioning from one activity to another can be difficult for many children. Giving them lots of advance notice can help.

Photo: Billie MacDonald

Great activities – inside and out

• Sing songs to help with transitions and with dressing.

Here are some safe dressing tips to keep in mind: • Use neck warmers instead of scarves.

• Do not use strings to attach mittens. Try Velcro or clips.

• Remove dangling draw-string cords, as they pose a possible safety risk.

Now that they’re dressed, it’s time to head outside.

Go take a Hike: Did you know that Ottawa has over 1000 parks for us to enjoy? Choose a new park to explore and connect with the nature that surrounds us. Remember to dress accordingly for the weather – boots to keep your feet warm and dry mitts to keep your hands warm.

For park locations visit: ottawa.ca/en/rec_culture/park_facility/parks/locations/all_locations/index.html

Continued on page 7

awesome authors youth writing contest 2013

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CPrelationships

A twist on New Year resolutions

By Susan Prosser, The Adlerian Team

We generally have a sense of renewal this time of the year when we promise ourselves new beginnings and new behaviours. Gym memberships increase, diets begin, and by February, the long, dark, cold days have banished our resolve.

What we could all benefit from is more kindness.

Kindness relieves stress, improves relationships, enhances community spirit and keeps us warm on those bitter days.

I propose that, as a community, we resolve to make it a priority to do daily random acts of kindness for family, friends, workmates and strangers.

It doesn’t have to take time or even energy. It could be as simple as a smile or letting someone into traffic ahead of you. You can include yourself as a beneficiary of this kindness as well.

I just received an email today with photos of random acts of kindness. One was a man giving the shoes off his feet to a young barefoot girl. Another was a waitress paying for the meal of a young family, another was someone leaving money to help pay for a parking ticket. The possibilities are endless and the benefits are far-reaching.

I am reminded of the story I heard years ago about a teenage boy who, feeling ostracized by his classmates, was on his way home to end his life when his neighbour started walking with him and proposing that they do something together. That moment literally saved his life.

Often, when someone is the recipient of an act of kindness, he or she is motivated to pay it forward and the ripple effect can take on profound energy that can create a healthier community.

Research in social intelligence confirms that the benefits are real and measurable.

The initiator of kindness is the one who benefits most. When our minds are geared to finding ways to reach out to others, our brains produce feel-good chemicals like serotonin and dopamine. When we actually execute the act, our bodies and brains are bathed in the chemicals, which not only make us feel good, but they make our cells healthier and reduce the effects of stress.

Alfred Adler, a founding father of psychology, whose framework we base our work on, called this Gemeinschaftsgefühl, or social interest. He taught us that the stronger the social interest is, the healthier a person could be in mind, body and spirit, and consequently, in our life tasks of family, love, work, community and spiritual growth.

The person who receives an act of kindness can be changed profoundly by it. We may never know what our smile or act of generosity will mean to another person.

It is important to make the distinction between social interest and the myriad of tasks we do daily to meet the needs of others. Many people feel that their energy is already all used

Connecting Parents continued from page 6

websites with family-friendly activities and links to help make your planning perfect for your family.

• thegreatpunkin.tripod.com/html/links1.html • www.ottawamommyclub.ca • www.helpwevegotkids.com Or if staying home is where you want to be, add some spark to the everyday: • Make a family room fort, using sheets or blankets and a few clothespins. Read some stories and prepare a fun camping-style snack to eat in the fort.

• Snuggle up with your favourite blanket and watch a movie with your children. Have some popcorn for a snack.

• Do a work-out with the kids, pump up the music and get physical.

• Have a cooking party. Let the kids help plan the menu and get cooking with you. What a great learning opportunity while having fun!

• Host a different country dinner night. Pick a country – Spain as an example – and research it with the kids. Explore the culture, what they eat, what they grow, what children play with, what the flag looks like or what the music of Spain sounds like. Once the research is complete, it’s time to plan the party. Create your shopping list, get your ingredients, put on some music and prepare to make your Spanish dinner night memorable for the whole family. Next month try Japan or Ethiopia or Germany. Have fun learning about the world around us.

The most important thing when planning for the holidays is to make sure you are enjoying time together making your own happy memories.

Benefits of random acts of kindness

Tobogganing or Sledding: Once we have enough snow, choose from one of the many tobogganing hills to spend some time on. Both of these websites will help you find the appropriate one for you: ottawa.ca/en/rec_culture/park_facility/ parks/sledding_hills/index.html and ottawastart. com/toboggan.php Take your skates: If the canal is open in time for the break, it can be a great place for skaters and non-skaters alike. Or find a skating rink that’s close to home. This is a great website that lists all the skating rinks within the city: www.ottawafocus.com/default/public-skating.aspx Light show: Walk or drive through downtown at night and see all the magical lights that adorn Parliament Hill and its’ surroundings. For more information check out: www.ottawafestivals.ca/events/christmas-lights-across-canada/

Warm and cozy inside

Visit a local museum: Check with each museum as they typically offer special times/days when entry is free. Each museum has its own specialty so choose the ones that best meet your child’s interests.

Swimming: Why not pretend it is summer and take a dip in the pool? We’re lucky to have a great selection of public pools located all over the city.

The directory of public swimming pools can help you get out of the house and into the water today. www.ottawakiosk.com/publicswimming.html More activities and ideas: Go bowling, curling, visit reptiles, to name but a few. Here are a few more

Social interest versus commitment overload

up by the unceasing demands placed on them daily by family, work and other commitments.

It’s true that we lead hectic lives and are already having to put others first. So why do we feel drained and stressed by that? Isn’t it enough to be kind and generous with your family? Of course it is enough, but the question is more about how to get energized versus stressed by doing for others.

When we are highly stressed, we use coping strategies, self-talk and reactions like: “I have to do this.” “I don’t want to do this.” “I don’t have enough time.” “I don’t have enough energy.” “Why can’t he or she look after me?”

“Why can’t he or she look do it for themselves?”

When we are feeling energized and less depleted, we respond with different coping strategies and reactions like: “It would be fun to surprise my stressed friend with a home-cooked meal.” “It would give me great pleasure to drive my child to wherever as it will give me quality time with him.” “I am honoured to have the opportunity to help.”

“I am grateful for this house I am cleaning or food I am cooking or car that I am shovelling out of the driveway.” “I am thankful for my health.” “The number of demands in my life reflects the wealth of resources that I have in my life and the commitments that require my best efforts.” “It is wise to find balance so I am allowed to say no when I need to.”

Ottawa has designed a day each February when we are encouraged to practise random acts of kindness. It creates excitement, energy and creativity in many places. Let’s expand this day to a week, a month or a daily occurrence. Some suggestions might be to: • Resolve to find ways to be kind.

• Do one act of kindness per day.

• Surprise someone with a kind gesture that they least expect.

• Initiate a program at work to do undercover random acts of kindness.

• Do something kind for yourself each day.

• Clean out your cupboards and give your “stuff” to goodwill and invite your children to do the same.

• Donate to the Food Bank or any other local charity that needs your resources.

Remember, just the act of thinking up ways to be kind will change you and make you feel great and improve your health.

Susan offers counselling to individuals, families, and couples, and conducts workshops and courses on parenting, relationship issues, self-esteem and communication at the Adlerian Counselling and Consulting Group, Inc. The holistic approach of the Centre is congruent with Susan’s approach to working with people.

Please write to us at The Adlerian Centre at 1729 Bank Street, Suite 205, Ottawa K1V 7Z5, call 737-5553, fax 523-7148 or e-mail: info@adleriancentre.com.

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Tips for a safe holiday Holidays are a wonderful time for families and friends to gather and celebrate special times together. Everyone will take away happy memories especially if they take a few minutes and plan ahead.

When selecting toys:

Every year at CHEO, the Emergency Department sees kids who get injured trying out new toys. You can help make sure your family has a safe Christmas by: • Following the age guidelines on toy packages.

• Making sure toys are the right size for your child’s age.

• Teaching older children never to give young children small toys or foods they might choke on.

• Teaching your children how to use a new toy properly.

• For young children, especially those under the age of three, avoid toys or clothing with: small parts that can cause choking (a stuffed animal’s eye or buttons); small magnets that can cause damage to a child’s intestine if swallowed; long strings or cords, which can strangle a child; sharp points or edges that can puncture or cut; batteries, particularly the small “button” batteries found in many toys, which pose a choking risk.

Recommended gifts for last-minute shoppers

CHEO especially encourages one of the following Christmas gifts for children and youth: • A ski/snowboarding helmet: CHEO saw more than 20 kids in its Emergency Department last year with head injuries from skiing or snowboarding. This is really unfortunate since 70-90% of 1 FREE head injuries can be avoided by wearing a properly fitting helmet.

CHEO encourages families to hit the slopes or the rinks this winBAG ter GOODY and stay active, but make sure you have the right head gear!

• Board games: While the latest video game will always have appeal, don’t forget to pick out an age-appropriate board game that will promote some quality family time.

• Books for all ages: If the Harry Potter series has taught us anything in recent years, it’s that reading can be fun for children of all ages. The book stores are crammed with recommendations for your child or teenager. Be sure to include a book under your Christmas tree to help children learn to read – or even to develop a lifetime love of reading.

• Some good old chalk to draw with and to play hopscotch.

• Toys that encourage active play – especially as a family, be it a $5 plastic hockey stick, a ball from the dollar store, etc. They needn’t cost much to provide your family with hours of fun and active play and to help teach kids the ABC’s of physical literacy: Agility, Balance and Coordination. Those skills will stay with your children and serve them throughout their lives.

Holiday decorations

Boston Children’s Hospital has indicated that it sees five children in its Emergency Department every year with injuries from a Christmas tree decoration – usually from trying to eat them. Over recent years, 12 of these kids had bleeding from their mouths or stomachs, two had to go to the operating room and six had to be admitted to hospital.

While CHEO does not keep statistics specifically on Christmas tree decorations, we do think that Boston’s research can be a lesson to all of us. It is worth taking a few extra precautions, such as: • Supervise children around Christmas trees and teach them not to touch the lights or wiring.

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• Decorations such as angel hair, icicles and tinsel can be dangerous for young children. Avoid using them until children are old enough to know not to put these items in their mouths.

• Save breakable ornaments for higher branches.

• Use a large, sturdy tree stand to prevent the tree from tipping over.

• If you have a real tree, make sure you cut an inch off the bottom to help the trunk absorb water. This will prevent it from drying out and becoming a fire hazard. It is important to have a stand that holds at least one gallon of water. A six-foot tree will absorb about a gallon of water every two days, so make sure to check the water level daily. Keep the tree away from heaters, fireplaces and other heat sources.

• Always supervise younger children around the menorah, and never leave candles unattended.

• The poinsettia plant was once thought to be poisonous but, in fact, it is no longer classified as severely toxic. However, holly berry, bayberry, mistletoe and Jerusalem cherry are poisonous seasonal plants and should be kept away from children.

To learn more about toy safety, visit the Health Canada website at: www.hc-sc.gc.ca/cps-spc/pubs/cons/toy_safe-jouet_secur-eng.php and for great, age-specific toy safety information visit the Sick Kids hospital website at: kidshealth.org/parent/firstaid_safe/home/safe_toys.html WITH VERY SPECIAL GUESTS

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Salty decorations for your seasonal celebration

By Kate Aley

I don’t know about you, but those department store ‘designer’ trees – with their immaculate soulless colour-coordinated decorations – leave me cold.

My favourite trees are those festooned with personal and handmade objects – kindergarten efforts nestled up against craft class trinkets and travel souvenirs.

Gather up the family on a chilly winter Saturday to make some decorations from salt dough to trim your tree, window sills, wreaths and almost anything.

You’ll need 4 1 cup of table salt 4 2 cups of flour (white is best, but if all you have is whole wheat – good for you – just run it through a sieve to remove some of the bran, which will result in a smoother dough) 4 1 cup of luke-warm water Blend the salt and flour together. Add the water gradually until you have a dough-like consistency.

Note: you might not need to use all the water. Knead for at least five minutes. Little ones love this part! A little warning: salt may sting very sensitive skin or any small cuts and scratches.

Flatten the dough out on a clean table-top covered with a liberal dusting of flour to prevent sticking. Rolling pins are great, but I press the dough flat with my palms and finger tips, making a lovely textured effect.

The layer can be quite thick, even a centimetre or so, but that will slow drying time. Likewise, the dough can be quite thinly rolled, but the pieces are much more fragile. About half a centimetre (a quarter of an inch) has worked best for me.

Press out shapes with cookie cutters or create your own with a knife. Carefully ease the shapes off the table and place on cookie sheets lined with parchment paper. The dough will not rise, so jigsaw them all on as best you can.

Add any extra touches at this point: poke holes in the hands of the gingerbread men to allow you to join them later with ribbon, add details to trees and birds, cut out little hearts from the centre of the big hearts. Don’t forget a good-sized hole at the top of each so you can hang them up.

Accidents and failures can be gathered up and returned to the ‘raw’ dough bowl. Keep dusting your table with extra flour. Pop in a few drops of water if you feel the dough is starting to dry out.

Heat your oven to 200ºF and get as many of the trays in as you can.

Salt dough needs to dry out, not actually cook.

You can bake it for about two to three hours, but I turn off the oven and just allow the residual heat to dry the dough out overnight.

The next day peel the dry shapes off the paper – and keep that paper for next time – then get out the paints.

Any craft or artists’ acrylic paint is perfect for colouring your ornaments, and brushing a second thin coat of metallic paint over your base colour looks splendid. Ornaments can be glued together – a little snowflake or hat on your gingerbread man – and can be varnished later to give gloss and strength. Trim with wire, ribbon, pipe cleaners, raffia or wool. Write names and dates on the back so that ornaments will be treasured forever.

Salt dough creations make great gifts, and are also a very popular offering at Christmas craft fairs, either as finished pieces or ‘raw’ unpainted shapes, ready to be swept into someone else’s heart-felt home-made winter celebration.

‘Tis the season to learn It’s the winter holidays, and even though your children are out of school, the learning shouldn’t stop! The holidays are a great opportunity to spend time as a family learning something new and practising your literacy skills. ABC Life Literacy Canada offers these literacy tips to make your season “bright!”

Reading circle: Invite friends and family to join you around the fireplace with a favourite holiday book. Then snuggle in and take turns reading aloud to one another while drinking hot chocolate.

Carolling: Get together with friends or neighbours and go door-to-door singing carols. Singing encourages learning patterns of words, rhymes and rhythms.

Bake-off: Get the whole family involved in baking Christmas cake or gingerbread cookies. Have your children read the recipe and measure out the ingredients – it’s a great way to practise reading, comprehension and math skills.

Night out on the town: Take in a holiday musical or visit the museum. Both outings offer fun literacy activities – and don’t

forget to read the descriptions at each exhibit.

Make a list and check it twice: Have your child make the holiday grocery (or wish) list and read it aloud as you make your way through the aisles.

Family movie night: Read a winter or holiday-themed book that has been made into a movie, and then watch the film. Ask your children if they noticed any differences between the book and the movie, and talk about which one they liked better and why.

Looking for a gift idea? Encourage reading by giving books or a magazine subscription – a gift that gives throughout the year.

Write on. Keep writing skills sharp by handwriting your Christmas cards. Include a personalized note to let each family member know how special he or she is.

Try incorporating these fun tips in your holiday routine to stay sharp over the holidays and well into the New Year. For more family literacy tips and activities, visit www.FamilyLiteracyDay.ca.

December 14, 2012 9

Stocking Last-minute

Stuffers

and other small

Gifts under $20

By Marcia MacQuarrie The holidays are fast approaching – is your shopping done?

Here are some gift ideas that suit everyone’s budget – and each one is under $20. It’s a great list to save for birthday gift ideas next year, too.

Twist Teether (0m+, Green Toys, $14.95) 100% baby-friendly. This is a lightweight infant toy with lots of easy grab points, fabulous teething textures and pleasant clacking sounds. It’s also dishwasher safe to keep it sanitized. Best of all, it’s made from recycled, foodgrade plastic, so parents can relax knowing it’s safe in their child’s mouth.

“Sophie the giraffe has been replaced! My son (11months) chews on this toy whenever his mouth hurts him. Great peace of mind that it’s safe for his little body.”

– Shannon Carneal Little People Disney & DC Super Friends Figures –2 pack (18m+, Fisher-Price, $8) Our testers loved carrying these chunky little characters around and using them with other toys in the playroom.

Several parents noted that the base of the figures is slightly different than regular Little People figures, but our kidtesters were more excited about the characters depicted, than whether or not they’re a little wobbly in other Little People sets.

“She is just like in the movie! Now Ariel and the prince can play with all my other Little People!”

– Ava (age 4) Coloring & ARTivity Books (3+, Creativity for kids, $3.99 and up) Offered for a wide age-range, and in a variety of appealing themes, this well-designed line of activity books was immensely popular with our testing families. Thick, quality paper works equally well for crayons, markers or paint, and the spectacular artwork inspires kids to extra careful colouring.

“The book production is great (spiral bound with perforated pages). But more than that, each page is interesting, different and involved – a rich variety of activities that kept my son (age 4) coming back.”

– Mike Roy 10 December 14, 2012

FingerTips Matching Game (3+, Wiggles 3D, $9.99) With a different animal on every tip, each of these handshaped cards is like its own “hand” of cards – so it’s much easier to manage than holding five separate cards. Small, portable and lots of fun – a real favourite.

“Cole ( age 4) didn’t always see the matches, which made me realize that this is a good game for developing observation and speed.”

– Karen Recoskie The Trash Pack (5+, Moose Toys, $12.99) Who’d have guessed squishy little garbage-themed figures would have such kid-appeal? Stuffed in their pocket-sized trash bins, they’re a perfect carry-around toy.

“I squeeze them and they stick to my fingers and it looks like I’m doing magic! And when I throw them, they bounce and go all over the place.”

– Ryan (age 6) Sparkle-Up Owls (5+, The Orb Factory, $9.99) Classic sticky mosaic picture-making fun with the added bonus that, instead of making more fridge art, this kit creates sparkly stickers, which our testers loved using to decorate their stuff.

“It’s awesome that you can stick them on other things.

Owls are cute birds and these are so sparkly, I put one on my lamp and it looks pretty.” – Jessica (age 5) Color Splasherz Purse Set (5+, The Maya Group, $19.99) Our testers loved that they could decorate the beads over and over again. This is an impressive colourchange toy that works really well.

“It’s like magic! I used floating ice to make a random design, and then I made a design to match my clothes.”

– Mia (age 9) BrickStix & Mod Stix (6+, BrickStix, $5.99) These tiny brick-sized stickers do tend to get lost, but the stickon detailing is an affordable way to add a new boost of inspiration to your child’s plastic building bricks.

Available in a variety of themes, and in either adhesive stickers (Mod Stix) or vinyl clings (BrickStix).

“I like the idea of buying this instead of a new and more expensive kit.”

– Marie-Lise Hache Bag-O-Loot Junior (6+, Bag-O-Loot LLC, $9.99) A fun new card game that is similar to Rummy, except that you only need two cards to start a set. Watch out, though, because players with matching cards may steal another player’s “open” set. A five card set makes a Bag-O-Loot that can’t be taken.

“I like that I could find the right cards by myself and not ask for help.”

– Ryan (age 6)

Infinity Ring (8+, Scholastic, $14.99) An exciting new multi-platform reading adventure with a time travel theme. Like The 39 Clues series, Scholastic provides a website with online play to accompany the books, as well as historical information about some of the places visited by the characters in the book.

“It was a very good story with a lot of mystery and adventure and the game was fun. I can’t wait to get the next book.”

– Talia (age 8) Swish (8+, ThinkFun, $14.99) Each plastic seethrough card displays a single dot and a separate circular frame. Your task is to layer cards so that all the same-coloured dots and frames line up. The trick is using only your eyes to survey the sixteen cards laid out, flipping and rotating them in your mind to “see” the matches.

“My kids are faster at spotting the pairs now. The game is fun and doesn’t take much time, so it gets played a lot.”

– Joyce Shane Fitzit (10+, Gamewright, $10.99) This game plays in a Scrabble-grid fashion, but instead of using letter tiles to spell words, players think of objects to match sets of descriptor cards. The fun is convincing others to agree to less obvious matches.

“It’s surprisingly easier than I thought to think up words that meet the descriptions on the cards. The game is fast to play so it is great for a quick something to do.”

– Sue Adamski Marcia MacQuarrie is a former toy editor for Today’s Parent Magazine (1998-2009) and past chair of the Ratings and Awards Committee for the Canadian Toy Testing Council. She shares more than 25 years of expertise with parents looking for the best toys they can find. She launched The Noise on Toys website last year and looks forward to making it a definitive voice on children’s playthings in Canada.

Visit www.thenoiseontos.com for independent reviews of the best kid-picked and parent-approved toys on the market. To date, there are about 2,000 toys profiled, as well as over 500 new reviews each year.

Users can search for specific toys, or generate a list of gift ideas to suit a child’s age and interests – and the purchaser’s budget.

TOY TESTERS NEEDED: We’re always looking for more toy-testing families.

Your kids can play with testing toys for 2 months in your own home.

No fee to participate – we’re looking for kids’ comments and parents’ feedback on the play experience.

To find out more, visit www.thenoiseontoys.com/testing

ADVERTISEMENT

What better way to celebrate our 25 YEARS than to share our 25 GREATS with all of you!

Here are just a few. Check out www.dovercourt.org to learn more.

Greatest Mascot Quite a few years ago we got tired of using clip art for our posters like everyone else. We asked our very talented staff Trish Stolte to create a mascot for us, and Dovercat was born.

The Westboro Village BIA agreed to sponsor the creation of a mascot costume. After a couple of trips to the spa for a

refresh, we are retiring our original costume and welcoming a new slimmer Dovercat this month.

Swim to Survive Barbara Underhill, World champion pairs figure skater, visited Dovercourt to speak at one of our early Principal’s breakfasts. She brought us to

tears, speaking of tragically losing her toddler to drowning.

She inspired us all to run the Swim to Survive program, lessons aimed at those who do not normally have access to swimming lessons. We remain the biggest participant in the Life Saving Society’s Swim to Survive program in our region.

Camps From humble beginnings, Dovercourt’s summer camps have grown every summer, to now the largest summer day camp program in Ottawa, with over 620 campers a day on average. We love that a child that is with us all summer will have a different experience each week.

Special events

BIRTHDAYS

GREATEST MASCOT

SWIM TO SURVIVE

We run lots of annual events, and they are all very special indeed, because each one helps celebrate a local partner, engages our community, and helps build strong relationships in our community. Our most recent event? Our 25th birthday of course! On Saturday, Nov. 24 kids, parents and staff enjoyed the antics of Crash the Clown and the Cow Guys, as well as face painting, crafts and birthday cake.

ICE STORM

GREAT GIFTS BIRTHDAYS

DOVERKIDS WATERFALL

Doverkids Our original Board of Directors envisioned a centre where kids could grow, learn, gain skills, and someday become staff themselves. Today, close to 40% of our current staff came to Dovecourt as kids, and that experience has helped them become the very knowledgeable, entertaining and caring staff they are today.

And lately there is a new phenomena, staff coming back with children of their own!

Rink Volunteers A giant tour bus pulls up at the rink. The first

person off the bus is Mark Messier, followed by the rest of the Vancouver Canucks. Due to the Bell Capital Cup, no practice ice was available to the team. The very dedicated rink volunteers in Westboro are famous for their work, so Dovercourt was chosen. You rock rink volunteers.

Ice Storm For seven days, over 75 people lived with us in the centre until power was restored. Our motto, “A community working for the

Community” was never more true than during the ice storm!

Great Gifts It would not be a birthday without presents, now would it? We’ve had some great presents from sponsors, clients, former staff, and friends over the years. Here are a few: The beautiful waterfall by our lower west entrance, donated by former lifeguard Nicholas Bott and his company the Pond Clinic. The “in honour of ” Rose bench in the park, and the “in honour of Jim”

bench at our upper level, gifts of the family and friends of these very much alive staff and client respectively. The Claude Regnier skateboard park, the core of which was a gift of Focus Skateboard store, and then rebuilt with the help of Beange Construction, and of course, our great Dovercat vans and bouncy House, the gifts of Morris Home Team Real Estate. Now, did we mention it is our birthday???

December 14, 2012 11

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