Mfioreaern MAY
•
nomances
1958
STOOV
UP in the STACKS
JAMES MADISON INN House
o'
"Specializing in
Good Sats Home Cooked Food"
AIR CONDITIONED FOR
YOUR COMFORT
f FARMVILLE
2004-w
PROSPECT ROAD
'^
•
ir
FARMVILLE, VIRGINIA
Where Good People Find Good Food"
THE IMAOAXINE THAT LIES FOR VOU
MOREDERN ROMANCES MAY,
1958
TRUE BOOKLENGTHS STOOD-UP IN THE STACKS I WAS AN ASPARAGUS ADDICT
3
!
was hopelessly
I
sick
—
was only one cure
there
—money
7
TRUE TALL TALES MARRIED THE NIGHT WATCHMAN
I It
was the uniform
that did
it
TRIALS OF A HOUSE It
was my
secret,
but
I
to
me
.
.
.
5
those shiny buttons
MOTHER
knew sometime, somehow,
they
would
find out
11
SPECIAL SERVICE SECTION OPPORTUNITIES
6
YOUR BABY MY BABY PUT ME THROUGH COLLEGE ARTICLES AND FEATURES
13
SEND ME YOUR SORROWS— By Aunt Maggot MOVIES YOU SHOULDn't MISS PEN PALS ARE YOU DESIRABLE?— RATE YOURSELF
8 12
COLONNADE PARODY
XXI
Vol.
2 10
ISSUE EDITOR Nancy Lee Brubeck MANAGING EDITOR Molly Workman ADVISOR Richard K. Meeker
ART
STORIES
Carol Lassiter
FEATURES Betty Griggs
Nancy Winfree Joan Lee Thomas
Wayne Boyden Bonnie
Mann
Sandra Clements
Ann Glover Mary Ellen Moore Carolyn Waugaman Judy Harris
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ^Ir.
Ray Merchant
The Camera
Artist
No. 3
Send me your sorrows Aunt Maggot
"by
Three from
of this month's five prize-winning letters
are
which
college students,
just goes to prove
that education doesn't solve all your problems!
Weight
some unique
solutions to the problem
.
.
I have ever seen
look thrown together; she
my
and I
clothes,
"Dear Aunt Maggot,
What
Since
it
is
common knowledge. Tubby,
that you try staying
up
that the I
suggest
You
night to study.
all
not lose weight, but
guarantee that your
I
grades will improve tremendously!
NO PRIVACY? seemingly
girl,
For
insoluble
an
intelligent
can
college
be
often
what you
Let's see
readers think of this one:
Helen
J.
Old." a good
deserve such an interested audience.
those those
who who
technique.
this suggestion
who
to discourage
are anxious to get in a
Please keep
practice.
I
am
me
posted on further
knowing how
interested in
turns out.
THE ROOMMATE PROBLEM: I
a
grooming habits are unbelievable. four baths
in the past
— because
wash her
and most
last
you
to give
to try
Her
fairly clear picture of the situation.
personal
She has taken
four months
{all in the
same
She has yet
to
hair or change the sheets on her bed.
I
she
keep raising the
'felt
window
dirty').
to air out the
room, but
nothing helps.
am
there are no other vacant rooms
whole school,
do?
move.
so neither of us can
nearly at the end of
my
What
rope.
I
should I
I ma Neatsy."
As long
you have a
as
you should try using
it
little
rope
left,
maybe
—around
on your roommate
HOW TO HANDLE A WOLF:
In case you
ever run into this situation, perhaps this next letter will give you
some
ideas.
.
.
"Dear Aunt Maggot, I have been dating a boy
who
whom
For
which annoys me very much. alone together, he
In fense.
.
has a room-
made a wise
I
like very
much.
Unfortunately, though, this boy has one bad habit
this case, I
insists
Whenever we
on biting
my
ear.
are
What
Prudence Q."
Pru, a good offense
suggest
early marriage.
a boarding college student I thought I had
at 4 a.m.
want
repulsive habit, but I do
that
This could either lead
am
me
I really hesitate to mention this
situ-
"Dear Aunt Maggot, I
bed clothes
and perfume on my underclothes, and
can I do to break him of this?
Some
will admit, are not easy to handle.
example, take the case of this girl
mate problem.
my
while encouraging
Later on, you might even loan your
developments, as
ations,
to
are sincerely interested in learning your
boy friend to those little
show
suggest that
I
This will tend
are merely curious,
me
help
her neck!
Helen you put on
you charge admission.
oil
Aunt Maggot,
I am a student at a girls' college, and the parlor where we entertain our dates is situated on a very busy hall. I can't even kiss my date goodnight without benefit of a large audience. What would
heap
in a to
practical jokes include rub-
turning the bed over on
in the
"Dear Aunt Maggot,
Obviously,
nation of
week
problems
turned to practical advantage.
you suggest?
them
right after I've changed sheets, pouring a combi-
Tubby P."
can I do to lose weight?
body uses up more energy while awake,
may
continually borrowing
inevitably find
Her
the
is
clothes always
bing wet cigarette butts and ashes in
have gained almost
college, I
30 pounds. I have tried all the diets, exercises, pills, etc., recommended by my friends, but to no avail.
is
—her
under her bed; she absolutely refuses
.
clean our room.
Since coming to
and slams doors when I'm
noisy
is
trying to sleep; she gripes incessantly; she sloppiest girl
not limited to
are
of course,
troubles,
college girls, but college life does offer
constantly; she
choice
when I asked her to room with me, but it seems I was wrong. Aunt Maggot, I don't even know where to begin to name her faults. She cracks gum
PRIDE
vs.
is
the best de-
you try biting him back. to a broken
romance or an
Grood luck!
MODESTY:
Our
last
letter this
month comes from a California girl, who, like many of us, doesn't know when she's well off! (continued on page 14)
so
—
—
STOOD UP
IN THE STACKS
— Why — go — 8:26 — how many minutes 8:30? second hand — Count go — ... 2 ... What do have do tomorrow —Count pages Time
will
ever pass
it
can't
?
^make
the revolutions of the
faster
it
for
37.
Won't he
Kim
3.
I
in history?
the
1
to
opened her compact, touched up her
her
Her
her shoulders.
lipstick
too-tight
blue eyes stared
She ran her hand over
back at her in the mirror.
and admired her overly trim
dress
—
Eight-thirty-three
the walls of the reference
names
of
Britannica,
Psychology oh, well,
a
Hearing
—Kim glanced around room, repeating mentally — World Book,
the
Collier's
encyclopedias .
.
.
John!
class.
He was
lot of
people did that.
steps
a
boy
in
always staring at her
her .
.
.
on the walk she jerked her head
the direction of the front door of the library,
—
must be him! The door opened and a figure somewhat resemb-
thinking
surely this
ling a boy appeared in a black rain coat, carrying a
black umbrella.
with large black
would
too 4,
casually stroll to the stacks "
6
5,
—"2
Suddenly books were dropped, heads
noise
ran
hesitating,
down two
Kim
flights of
dashed
and
was drawn
down
A
stacks.
was heard which sounded
similar to that of a person falling
Without
seconds,
started,
toward the dark passage leading to the shattering
Why can't
three minutes late.
he be on time just this once?
in
intently, anxiously wait-
verj-
the stairs.
in that direction,
and found him
stairs,
in
a heap at the bottom of the second flight.
figure.
the
watched the clock
ing for the usual lapse of three minutes before she,
the attention of everyone in the library
ever get here?
and replaced several stray platinum blond hairs that fell lazily to
Kim
it
until
faster?
feet,
He was
6'3", excruciatingly thin
"Herbert!" she
glasses?
neither from one side to the other but
from the door to the stairway leading and disappeared down the
stairs.
arm he
He
went
looked
directly
to the stacks
me
helping
find
my
seem to locate them."
—
are," she said as she
—
let
me
handed
help you" and she
began picking up the scattered books. "I must have been thinking about something else
and forgotten to watch he got to his
my
Herbert said
step,"
as
feet.
"Let's go back to a carrel," whispered Kim, sens-
were still several pairs of eyes staring them through the stairway. Without a Herbert followed, glancing at the book
ing that there
word
his
I can't
"No, no here they them to him. "Here
Under
glasses.
"Would you mind
moment.
down
horn-rimmed
him anxiously,
"Well, 1 don't believe so," replied Herbert after a
unruly black hair and wearing thick
carried a brief case and five thick books.
staring at
cried,
"are you hurt?"
at
shelves along the %vay.
"Well," he began once they were both seated a carrel, "j'ou certainly the library
know
managed
in
to let everj-one in
that you and I".
.
.
Kim's mouth
—
!
Pressing her body tightly
kept him from finishing. against
she
his
kissed
"Herbert,
breathless.
never get here.
It
everywhere
I
parted.
Fearing that to pursue their talk might make
him angry, Kim followed his example, but after a few minutes became restless and began to twist in
look.
love you. ...
I
darling, I love you so
tween each phrase to
him
rub
his
can't imagine
your handsome face
see
I
and so very wonderful ...
ing
—you I
love you.
You're so handsome and strong
love you.
passionately.
love you.
I
much.
kiss
.
."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
She paused
neck with slow,
rhythmically.
be-
strokes,
gradually
finally
responded
"Promise
Greek
hard.
Herbert
replied,
"People might be watch-
tomorrow
test
How
!
until
over
to
really
that's
I'd better be starting
"Herbert weeks
on
do?
I
have
going to be
it."
can you think of studying at a
Don't you realize that
it's
only nine
June and then we won't see each other months? We musn't waste one
three
moment that we're together. I miss you much when we're away from each other. Please
precious so
put your arms around me."
"Kim, we must be can't
let
several several
for
minutes e.xcept for the turning of pages.
Kim
Soon
moved over minutes Herbert got up
could restrain herself no longer and
After several
beside him.
from the
and walked over to the philosophy
table
books, seemingly oblivious to Kim's actions.
Kim
waited for him to return, trying to control
She waited for what
no longer. She stood up and walked slowly through
me."
you'll never leave
time like this?
for
chair
his
stopped
action
all
me
Don't you have some studying
ing.
a
her,
Herbert
away and
him she put her leg it up and down
move moved
to
seemed
Squirming out of her arms and moving away
from
closer to
"Oh, Herbert, dearest, I do love you very much," she whispered in his ear.
to her kisses.
very,
and began
his
inches
closer she began to
easy
Moving
beside
.
Oh,
.
her seat.
.
him and was soon embrac-
Moving
becoming more intense until he
so
to read.
like a year since last night.
thought
I
I've thought of nothing else but you
we
ever since
conversation, he opened one of his books and began
you'd
darling,
seems
were both
they
until
you so very much
I've missed
how much.
I
him
our social
interfere with
Certainly you must agree that that comes
have our whole
lives before us
so let's not get involved right
when we
now."
We
education. first.
We
graduate,
Dropping the
half hour before she could stand
full
a
Kim went
Herbert was nowhere to be found.
and down to the two lower
stairs
appear
anxious
but
casual
him.
finding
into the biogra-
On
entering the
she noticed that several books had fallen off
Stooping to pick them up
the shelf in the corner. she
up-
trying to
floors,
not
at
Thinking he must have wandered phy room she headed for there.
room
it
pretending to be looking for a book.
the stacks,
someone
heard
switch
out
the
She
lights.
"Oh, Herbert," she whispered, romantic!" Hearing nothing, she called
started to her feet.
"You're so
name
his
sensible about this thing. life
the impulse to follow him.
here.
.
.
"Herbert,
again.
Herbert
.
where are you?" her
way
the
to
.
.
.
I'm
darling,
Herbert
.
.
.
over
Herbert,
hearing nothing she groped
Still
and turned
switch
light
Looking around the room she found no one.
on.
it
"Her-
Herbert," she called, but no one answered.
bert,
She walked out into the adjoining room and found that
all
Going
also.
the lights had been turned off there
into the next
room and again finding
no light she became frightened and ran up the
main
to the
been turned out but, she saw him standing there,
fJ shoes'^
and mysterious,
dark
outlined
against
shining through the windows.
arms and started
kissing
Herbert responded and
him
gently pushed her
When
switch.
frantically.
Kim was
IN
SADDLE SHOE
THE
at
his
For once
of.
Kim
him,
—
Then
he
to a light
couldn't
was John bashful John who followed her around the campus believe her eyes
At Last on Your Campus!
looked
light
reassured that here
away and walked over
she
—
the
She rushed into
was the man she had always dreamed
THE TAPERED TOE
stairs
All the lights had
floor of the library.
and
to
What
whom
it
she
wasn't Herbert
had
given
the
it
cold
a situation to be in
(continued
in
next issue)
shoulder.
Married
I
I
was
tember
when
sixteen
night watchman.
was employed there as a known him all my life be-
I'd
I'd
owned
cause his father
saw him
entered college that Sep-
I
1955, and Al
in
town.
Night Watchman
the
the pool parlor in our
home
never really noticed him before until
in
that
I
handsome blue and gray uniform.
All the silver buttons and the gun and holster sent cold chills up and I'd
had a
anything
down my I
my
but never
did everything to
make him
Every night
in
paraded by
I
his office in
nightgown and bobby pins or crawled out on
the catwalk, but all to no avail. ly to e\eryone,
He was
so friend-
but paid no more attention to
me
For
a
terested,,
wanted awry. I
whole semester,
tried
to
get
him
to die.
—
Everything
could
tortured.
I
all
my
in-
night
I
lay
his
I
if
(the
woman
is
could ask him to the
I
could just beat that sly Betty
Hex
to
the draw. I
ran from the meeting to his
gone on
his
Where
rounds.
ran out of the back of Freshman,
I
hurriedly the
ran
organ
to
my ;
rise
and
At
that
Josephine playing "Tenderly."
I
eye caught
music build-
Asher Hall
began to
As
he be?
his figure in its flashing suit enter the
ing.
but he was
office,
could
and,
as
there
I
sat
moment
I
awake thinking
under the conditions that he could find someone to
of his deep, gruff voice, the clanking of his keys
and worried about
Now
plans had gone
I
do?
At
Twirp dance
voted to have a
requested to pay).
saw him coming up the aisle. I rushed forward and asked him the question, hoping against hope He accepted that his answer would be "yes."
and then he started dating Betty Hex.
What
was
I
ber,
entered,
than any of the other 300 freshmen
knows,
maybe someone was waiting under the laundry steps to attack him? Gralda Nu Chi, the Finally my chance came. honorary Greek fraternity, of which I was a mem-
dance
spine. life,
of crushes
like this.
notice me.
my
lot
Who
and the dangers he might encounter.
treacherous nightly rounds
take
his
relieved.
rounds for
him
that
night.
I
felt
so
The
when
next day
saw Al he
I
Mrs. Clover was taking the post
Now
shoes for the job.
me
told
everything was
that
had the
since she
We
decorated
OF
day Saturday for the dance
all
Cedarbook and the combo party dance went
a lot of boys
from Hampty-Dampty there and they gave me a big rush for dances. I could tell that Al was
my
Perhaps
getting jealous.
scheme
trap
to
him
If
lot.
One good shirt
—
we
we saw
date
I
would casually
walk under the Colonnade or to the Biology build-
.25
;
jacket.
ring
.25;
to:
.10.
Earn sparetime cash
—be a bubble
dancer or pop Easy money. elaborate costumes are
out of cakes at fraternity parties. expenses,
each other quite a
didn't have a date
one
.20;
Shipped, General Delivery.
needed first
— one Longivood sweatLong^vood — one — Address inquiries
raincoat
Longwood
No
would work. After that
WOMEN
TO
INTEREST
at
The
at O'Neills.
There were
off perfectly.
OPPORTUNITIES
Things
set.
were beginning to look up.
—
no
as
just the barest of necessities.
at your fingertips when suntan lotion on 3rd floor Rotunda.
Cash money
you
sell
can bring you money when you repair them. Shoes often need resoling badly as the result of much shuffling. Contact History Department, Longwood College.
Shoes
ing with him on his rounds.
This was true
into his big blue eyes, to touch his his lips pressing
and
I
me
It thrilled
love.
so to look
hand or
Each day was
on mine.
a
to feel
dream
Educational Opportunities
waited anxiously for him to arrive on duty
Sometimes
at 5 p.m.
I
never pass quickly enough and
would never
My
arrive.
hours would
felt that the
that
five
grades dropped,
walked around on a big white cloud. Then one night when we were all alone greenhouse, he proposed.
more romantic.
The
but
in
the
A
From
bliss!
that day forward
lessons.
Money Making Opportunities
Business and
Make
we made
plans for our
(continued on page 14)
your typewriter Earn Money.
Very nominal fee; excellent view of the stage. Must be able to remember numbers and must be able to go every
Seat at Assembly.
Tuesday.
DRAW ME win
$50,000
a
Scholarship in Professional Art to
the Podunk
You
are
Art Institute.
taught
in-
suite
vacated
in
stick."
Money while
Big
Have
Neuman
Furniture probe
Foreign Job Listings
lor? If
Amy McFIop
Will
Bookstore and Post Office. New proprietor must be able to "Speak softly and carry a big
Do you have
Roman Nockwell
worn.
little
a
so,
broad.
Work
in
experience as a marriage counsecontact Princess Margaret, England.
colossal
statues.
a
Morals not necessary.
French cafe.
fessionals:
Alfred E.
senior dormitory.
in
A
vided.
One
desires a rest.
the renter must be able to sing.
:
June.
Earn
dividually by the pro-
Owner
Presidency of Chi.
One
may
Sell it!
For Rent
stipulation
You
easy
10
through the glassy
from the sprinklers brushed
fine spray
This was
our cheeks.
dancing at home in Technique will be stressed.
modern
Learn I
roof and the flowers gave the air a scent of April
fragrance.
as
o'clock
Nothing could have been
stars peered
Broaden yourself
Educate yourself at home. you sit. Babysitting!
Must
figure? not
Italy
needs
you
for
mind being covered with
plaster of Paris.
Mail Picasso,
to:
Podunk Art
Institute,
The Coal Mines from
III.
the
of Siberia offer ycni an escape
hustle
and bustle nf the big city. High pay and a caus'
Short working hours. Pull
Draw This head
5
ft.
with Arabian pencil. July,
1954.
None
will
high on 16 x 24 inch paper
Drawing must be received by be returned.
a
ricksha through the streets of beautiful
Hong Kong. Dog-sled
Lose
drivers
weight while you
wanted
family; shortage of dogs.
in
Alaska.
work.
Bring
;
An Asparagus Addict
Wajs
I
"Money, money, money! I want money!" How I remember screaming those words at my father and rushing out of the room in a rage that
well
night in September,
cool
for college.
I
my
days of
My
home.
life at
They could
constantly.
night before
the
family and
as
wanted
I
money would
he had lots and lots of
;
my
But
all!
it
parents just
They were
not listen to reason.
obsessed with the
was more important than money, but
idea that love
they lived to regret their mistake, and so did
am
proud that
won my
I
My
few weeks
first
exclusive socially.
of the girls seemed
how much money of
and
I had,
none
friends, but
me
tell
was
After
me huge
at
was
father
packages of money, and that was
was playing
my
my
because
all,
Every
while everybody
night,
bridge, or studying,
would
I
sit
room, door barred, and count the money.
would arrange
I
very neatly
it
a large,
in
square lucite box that sat directly in front of the
door for everyone to admire.
happy those
The Dean
fell.
my room
—
at her.
Women
of
one day and she became
no doubt
jealous
box staring
I
—when
she
next thing
knew,
I
the
Dean took my
money from me and locked and to make things even that I had sufficient
school term, so I I
without
was
was not
terrified
my money
to
!
it
my
racked
days
my
I
could not
any more from
What would my
life
be
off?
eat,
sleep,
or study.
I
brain trying to discover a means to get
some more money, but ceased to have any recluse.
my
greatest
money
was
that
like
canned
various
testing
of
discovered asparagus!
green,
did
was long and
It
money, and at the time, the horrible
know what
I
discovery.
my
but
soon
I
enjoyed the taste of
my
all
other
—
obsession time. I
I
and
desires.
only
that
actually
I
slowly overpowered
it
became a
It
tremendous
me
and everv^where
to class
it
and ate and
ate
discovered
it,
and
only to console
it
had to have asparagus with
took
I
ate
I
little
from that
result
asparagus
eating
For a while
grief,
would
disaster
began
I
asparagus.
all the
went.
I
ate.
This delightful existence continued for almost
months
until
morning
the
that
day than ever before
next morning
ate
was more asparagus
—seventeen
I
The
cans.
my
with horror that
discovered
I
I
that
discovered
I
skin had taken on a pale green cast.
worried, and to pacify myself,
pale green skin had turned to a deep chlorophyll color,
and suddenly
I
My
realized the cause.
my
had absorbed so much asparagus that system was coated with
done!
That
night
I
it
Something had
!
body entire to be
had a very deep and serious
finally
I
gave up.
meaning for me then
After staying
in
my room
;
I
for
Life
became a
few
my
not retain
although
I
more, and to
be
could not allow
transformed
Once
I
had made the by
stick
into
I
it.
class.
At
who
first
I
this
loved myself even
I
my
once lovely skin
ghastly
green
color.
was determined took my whole closetful of
asparagus and delivered
Dr. Sneaker,
beloved
Finally I decided that
loved the asparagus, I
my
beauty and keep eating
asparagus at the same time.
to
father wrote
entered a severe state of depression, and for
several
door, and above
smell seemed to be a gift from heaven, but
precious
to last the rest of the
to receive
show
The
the school safe
in
Vi'orse,
money
my
savv^
explained the situation
but, like everyone else, she did not understand.
home.
very
for
rof^m that
discussion with myself, for I realized that I could
blow
the
happened to pass
lucite
very,
days.
But then very upset
was
I
days
several
I
my
me
my
—because
was cheap
that
losing any portion of the
foods,
never
I could
my
fix in
stored in the bank.
me
Then
a
fear
the fact that most of the girls avoided
that mattered.
I
a food
five
else
could
I
refused
I
went shopping
I
would keep others away from all,
At
sending
in
some type of food that
worth talking about.
anything
did not bother
else
successful
too
to enjoy listening to
think
all
make
to
about
first,
be told.
Runtbush College, an
were not
was anxious
I
now
story can
at
school,
girls'
money with
battle for
my
help from no one, and
I
I.
began to get hungry.
I
to eat in the dining room, so
—
my basic desire in life money. It my father did not have money to give
if
me, because he did
and
argued
I
not understand me, their
only child, and
was not
left
I
suppose those were the most miserable
weeks, however,
decision, I
it
to
my
English professor.
when
used to drool
was worried
that
I
ate
it
in
Dr. Sneaker
would turn green, too, but then I remembered that he was not a very excitable man and would probably
not
be
aroused
by
anything
so
mild
as
asparagus.
For three whole would not allow myself to go near any asparagus, although I was tempted many times,
That
weeks
night I began the "cure.''
I
(continued on page 10)
PEN
soon as
1.
We
I
learn
how
to write.
Address:
Bluepeck, 356 East Drive, Cunningham, S. D.
Rotunda
Hello, friends. a friendly young couple ivho \vould like to be friends with you. So brothers and sisters, if you'd like to be friends with us, just drop a friendly line to Sister Witty
Fancy
and Brother Calvincoat, First Holiness Council, Rolling Isles, Canada.
Real Charmer would with someone who
like to
also
correspond raises
pet
That South American Black Viper I'm holding is my favorite. She laid 732 eggs yesterday. I'll send free eggs to everyone who writes me. Address: Dash Boozewell, Cobra Place, Squirmy, India. snakes.
Dig this: I'm a big fan of Charlie Broun and am interested in others who dig him. I'm 19 years old, interested in collecting butterflies
(moths, and crocheting doilies. I have a fan club for "Fabulous Charlie," and too)
would close
new members.
like
money.
Helper,
333
Address:
World
St.,
Please en-
Merry Violet,
Jean Mass.
5.
Prospective Pen Pals, I just think this Pen Pal idea is really peachy keen. I
mean I
3.
humans
I'm a Coloniiadc fan, 19 years old. I learning to read very slowly and your letters would help make this less
am
of a task.
I
will
answer
to say,
all
letters as
nothing but fabulous. you know, Please, everyone, send me it's
just love to write people,
lots
!
and
them. dress:
lots
of post-cards.
I
collect
have four, already!) AdFran Grover, Happy Daze
(I
Sanitorium,
Worsham, Va.
—
PALS Men:
I
want your opinions
the
of
"Sack" dress. Note how the one I am wearing emphasizes my figure! Please write me all your pro's and con's on Address: Frances Brick, the subject.
Lump.wood
Wanted: Lots of nice male correspondents, especially you matrimonially-minded ones. Address all letters to: Girls, Miss Sadie's Home for
The
Wayward
Girls, Sadlv,
Ohio.
College, Frameville, Va. 10.
Look you "Tough Kats" We want you to ^vrite us. This picture was
7.
Calling
all
real
Hep
:
Cats:
This
little
strictly from Doll Land and is like for all you cool wheels to grab a quill and scribble a line this way. Plant your peepers on my pic and if you don't write then, you must be a girl! Address: Yvonne Weird, 310 Tomcat Grove, Chicago, Illinois.
girl
would
taken just as we were about to pull our biggest job "The Shortstick Dorm Caper." don't want no cops writing us, just you real tough kats. Ad-
We
Ruby "The Moll" Binkly and Dot "The Shot" Washbell. dress:
11.
Attention
Calling
all
Kute
Kittens:
Here's
a
gone cat who would like to meet I have quite a voice and really love to wail. Several record companies are after me. Address: Sudsv. real
you.
boys between the ages of 13 and 16: We're five bored girls who would like to write some boys in our age-group. like wild parties, as all
We
you can see. Address: The J. D.'s, Detention Home, Richmond, Virginia,
(continued on page 12)
WW W
MOVIES
(continued from page 7)
Asparagus Addict
YOU I
found that
could do nothing
I
day but pace
all
the floor and occasionally throw things about. didn't really have the desire to I
had heard that
and
threw and
I
I
and
But
The
morning
my
I survived.
discovered
I
that
my
—
it
was
discovered that
I
never forget
the
my
skin
film.
world
my
glorious news.
And
rotic
hands,
I
—
I
little
dime into
had truly conquered
I realized that I
with asparagus and person
scooped the
now
had regained
I
was once more
my
But
as usual
he meets
my
normal money.
will
who
ACROSS THE
new
and
touching
yourself
find
view
glued
this pitiful
portrays a poor neu-
himself.
SUCCESS SPOIL ROCK
BRINKLEY?—The movie takes place
where we
bout
ability to love
Mama.
to
shut off from the world in a
VW\AVILL
my
a
You
room by
and be-
lo
home
character
—
supreme, for as
friend
whose
idealist
beautiful all-American
to the seat as you
what should be lying at my feet just outside the brightest, shiniest dime the door but a dime Oh, that was a moment of joy I had ever seen.
hold,
a
STREET—A
—
tell
rough
VVTHE WINDOW
pale green
I'll
was no longer green it was a glorious day, the sun was shining brightly and my pale yellow face was very becoming. In ecstasy I rushed from my room to
when
the day
—
match
to take
was not the
skin
was overjoyed!
I
A
ours.
chorus girl that any boy would want
color of chlorophyll any longer
once again.
top notch, all-
fondness for the ladies keeps him in
three weeks were pure torture, but one
first
old story
bloody
performance by your
constant jams. his
asparagus.
X
round
would sweep over me like a giant wave and I would have to try very hard to keep myself from rushing to Dr. Sneaker's house and grabbing
tear jerker
V same
VPAL CHARLIE—A
paced
Sometimes the longing for asparagus
threw.
I
throw anything, but
addicts did this while taking
all
the "cure," so I paced and
\/\/
SHOULDn't MISS
I
stupendous side splitter
\/
and
setting of this
in the ruins of
Troy
find the noted archeologist
Rock
philosopher.
Brinkley,
searching for valuable and important
Roman
or Greek knows not which. these
documents
He
— he
plans to use
documents to better the people
of his countn', since their culture and civilization are collapsing.
VWFROM HERE TO BURKEVILLE—A heart-warming
HUfHT
story of
who
a group of young people
find
it
make their desired trip to Burkeville, "The vacation land of youth." You will be moved by their impossible to
every intention, and you will rejoice
them when dream come true.
with
they
XAROUND THE CAMPUS SECONDS— Blood
jvT^r^
nocent
cement
While
PHONI
Guarantees liair control year-round. Put an end to your daily hair combing. Hair and can treated with PHONI need not Ask now at your campus not be combed.
new
PHONI
with
the
left is
IN
by an on
seen
80 in-
the
shape of a head.
exploring
the
grounds
he
comes upon a dark, dismal tunnel.
—
—
store for the twist curlers.
individual in the
their
find
Unaware society'
of the meeting of the secret
or of the mutilation that
crank
lows,
he
ventures
destruction.
10
into
a
web
fol-
of
The Trials of a College Housemother I'll
never forget the
first
day
came
I
to
The
late spring breeze.
next day
cause of the celebration.
was
shining.
It
I
magnificent
day
the
years
Keep thy ing
have
way
years
ten
Plowtown was housemother. heart as It
home
the
Shortbranch
of
to begin the happiest days of I'll
saw
I
was
my
my own
to
lovely
splendor and flung
stood
I
my
in
in ecstasy.
that
we
My
see."
someday
—some-
the little heaven
Then
it
had
I
week-end
was my first mistake. My knuckles were bruised for two weeks. Well, perhaps the room was just a bit small, but for me it was paradise compared with the cell in which I had spent the past twenty
and
off
It
horrible
now
that
it
traveled eastward
I
in
the bustling me-
my room. There they stood my bed. Schmoo The leader
to
!
"Enter!" she
with a pink-sheeted arm.
gestured
—a
returned late Saturday night
I
about
in a semicircle
happened.
it
now
Schmoo struck!
that
Crewe.
it
hard to believe
is
and opened the door
This
recall
I
spend a few days shopping
tropolis of
the midst of this
arms wide
my
was
It
filled
—my very own—
larger than the rooms of the students
for me.
and
was only yesterday
and furnished with a lovely iron bed and a pine dresser all
— Schmoo would destroy
nightmare,
U.
life as
never forget the joy that
Schmoo's observ-
things
knew
I
seems a night-mare as
where were
room.
The
boy!
Eight happy years passed.
to
drizzle by.
my
Hoo
found at Shortbranch U.
since that
continued
below the knee.
dress
thee.
heart froze in terror.
was because the sun
was the first time in Plowtown, and
It
their throats burst their
frightening theme song, "Schmoos's observing thee.
found out the
that the sun had shone in
Suddenly from
on high.
Plow-
town eight years ago. The sun was shining brightly. There were bands playing and flags waving in the
"Eight years ago Shortbranch U. hired you
said.
Twenty
on the strength of your excellent record. years in the pen
me,"
she
nothing to sneeze at
is
which
"at
corrected,
to
—pardon but
sneeze;
—
U. was serving hostess duty in the Home Office. Many were the hours I spent sitting in the Rec-
Schmoo ," she sneered audibly beneath her sheet. "Schmoo knows!" I could stand it no longer. "So I was framed!" I shouted. "I didn't really murder my mother. I was framed !" At this con-
tangula staring at the lovely statue of every Short-
fession I broke
years.
My
favorite job as housemother at Shortbranch
to
The
Typhoid Mary, who had risen fame from working in the kitchen at dear old
branch
girl's ideal,
from the
little
me
gave
brown
inside coat pockets.
a
the
Stugoo
Club
their
There was but one thing which brought discord to my happy life at Shortbranch. That was the Schmoo was secret organization called Schmoo. composed of members unknown to all but fellow Schmoos. I'll never forget the first night I saw them. At the stroke of midnight they appeared from nowhere upon the Promenade. In their
the
with slow steps they began
I
could no longer stay
that hang in Freshman Parlor, my own framed copy of page forty-four from the Handbook that had hung on
ductions
sheets,
only signed out for Burke-
that
—
Tuesday night
beer parties.
ghostly
You
!
I
Never again could I in my disgrace guide the young women of Shortbranch U. Tearfully I packed my suitcase, removing from my room my few cherished, personal possessions, mementos of my life at S. U. my treasured repro-
had to stay up until two
after
lied
knew then my beloved S. U.
at
or three o'clock in the mornings to open the doors for
is
ville!"
bottles they carried in their
I,
—you
fact
swallow of lemonade
Night duty, though, was some-
times a bit tedious, for
all
"Whether you murdered your mother is not the issue." Her voice grew low. but as she S[X)ke her words crackled through the room. "The her splendor.
How I loved to chat with the girls as they S. U. waded by (sometimes the rain got a bit out of hand) or talk with the Hamstrung-Smurdly boys, who sometimes
down.
pink-sheeted leader spoke once again in
my
of
wall so
Now tangula,
I
the beautiful
many
years.
stand gazing tearfully about
knowing
Methodically
I
that
my
pull
heeled walking shoes,
and pick up
their
march down the Promenade, past the wrought-iron statue of Typhoid Mary bearing her pancake turner
folds
of
my
my
the
Rec-
must linger no longer.
I
galoshes over
I raise
my
big,
my
wedge-
black umbrella
one suitcase; and wrapping the
plaid-lined
leave behind forever
11
paintings
trenchcoat
—dear
about me,
Shortbranch U.
I
Pen Pals
Are You Desirable?
(cnnrinucd from page
'-')
12.
Look
Are you bashful too?
at
me.
I
couldn't face the camera without blush-
Rate Yourself
so here I am in a typical pose. Don't be backward with me, especially you like farming. I'm the champion plower in our county. Address: Ruby ing,
if
Yes
1.
Are
always
you
eyelashes are
Rube, Amelia, Virginia.
your
that
sure
straight?
t)n
There
is
man
as
13.
No
nothing so disgusting to a look
to
and
Men — Here
Well,
eyes
sweetheart's
his
into
come
see diagonal eyelashes.
statistics
Yes
2.
Are you always sure
No
use
to
and
smearproof,
proof,
swim-
But,
I
!
I lose my head very easily. Address: Blanche La Flame, Box 6400, Paris, Kv.
because
tearproof
mascara? Tears are your best chance of getting what you want. Don't spoil your most touching sob scene b}' looking as if you had run into
if
14.
Men:
a post.
We
3.
Do you
with
air
No
from the
protect your skin
two
least
at
inches
Devil Face? Never let any your real complexion.
of the
of
a
man
Yes
4.
Do you have one mouths that will
No
those
of
5.
Are your long?
No
nails
If
Yes
6.
They could come
you get
Do jou have are
a
8.
No
knees
face
If
would
say
Not
problem.
undesirable,
enticing.
Beautiful legs
Do your I
it
Fancy Free
toothpick legs, turnip
must unless you wear extra
so,
Line,
in
of distinction
long bermudas.
Yes
make
The Chorus
Burlesque, Detroit, Michigan.
in a fight.
or piano legs?
legs,
No
if
tell your in jour (and will
etc.
do you wear Stick-
not,
'em-on-quick?
handy
and
income,
girl that replies
she ever) promises to
Address:
are tired
two inches
least
at
status,
The
are fourteen
who
Please include
You may
to ear? If so, beware! swallow someone.
Yes
elastic
from ear
stretch
yourself
of
picture
letter.
lovely girls
same old men.
marital
see
We
need You!
(count us)
Yes
—
I am your dream won't tell you my vital because they're pretty obvious. you write, please be sincere,
true
only
each
a
GAINSBORO
you be have
will
may
you
but
have
you
smokes
other?
trouble walking!
Yes
9.
Do you have Long,
No Yes
10.
Is
you
No
arms
a
a
arms? must
beanpole.
two feet long? he-men do not like
least
real
screwed -up,
are
with
go
your hair at
Remember,
stretchy
long,
stretchy
unless
chopped
-off
African
shocks.
RATING SCALE 7 yes
3
no
5
yes
5
no
3
yes
7
no
— — —
Ravishing! Plain
Tgh
!
(live
TRUE FLAVOR TAR FILTER TEAR-UP BOX •
up.
12
MY BABY PUT ME THROUGH COLLEGE I
my
want
you young mothers
of
all
experience and to benefit by
give advice, but
what has happened
who
happen to every mother her
formal
education.
I
know
to
to
me
anxious
is
my
brought
In addition to
of
short for Elihu.
should
baby
to
little
;
was no place
like you, I felt college
first,
an infant
but
my
my
parents lived in Australia and
knew
that
if
My
be unable to see
my
bring
it
on weekends.
a
at
disadvantage,
a
incorrect.
the girls flocked to I
might say Elihu,
for me.
my
had to
just
I
You
find a
probably think
don't j'ou?
and
that's baby's I
baby
wanted sitter
I
made
on the
I
little
I
the
in
fuzzy blue beach
had advantages
my
The
also.
let
pro-
endeavors to become an edufor
way
nothing stand in the
my of
glorious education.
course,
All
I
I
had done horribly
in
in
I
I
would get
a job teaching school in
My,
that
was
13
my
Alaska
a crucial
(continued on next page)
hall.
said
passed or failed the
turn would decide whether or not
my husband. my life.
near
al-
which
decide whether
in his class
He
graduated, which in turn would decide whether
or not
friends, or
in,"
had
for all those
woman, and my grades were given
exam would
I
name, made friends to "flick
its
on Contemporary African History.
Well, you're hit.
me
needed
Howe\er, one professor was not generous with
college for baby's
immediately made a
my room
Everytime
ways could
in
that's I
"sack time" myself, or
and
I
the high marks.
baby
sake, but for mother's sake.
100%
I
admired
determination to
baby to Longwood.
I'm not advocating
was
cated
would
I
little
Hu
took
it
Hu,
have a nap and
which babies need mothers.
for
Academically fessors
in-laws in Japan.
they were to keep the child
I
case
to
blanket to the roof.
in Alaska for his research work on The Effect of Traps on Alaskan Mosquitoes, and I felt my baby
I
things
Spring
for
husband was trapping mosquitoes
should not be exposed to that environment.
did not have to take those
I
had
It
in
usually got in a
college.
At
near by
to be
get
to
this,
long, dull afternoon classes because of
don't often
I
it.
point
Send me your sorrows
really
miserable
teasing
me
about
because it.
my
my
my
Please help me.
duties.
are
is
that this
is
a
problem which many
be happy to have.
I
interfering
B. J. Bardot."
Just what are your duties, B. J.?
me
am
always
Mioreover, I work as a riveter
a boiler factory, and this problem
in
with
I
ivaisi.
friends
is
It
seems to
girls
would
of joy.
had answered
I
on the exam, but
The
expected. fate.
was
e.xam
but the
all
to
bundle
last question
had
as I
would decide
question
last
it
oral because little
had not done as well
I
very
my
waited tensely while Professor Sinful read
I
"What
the questions. society of
natives in
organized
in
that
1951,
name
the
is
the secret
of
Kenya, British East Africa, written about in the
is
Something of Value?" had no idea. I thought and thought, growing
novel.
suggest that you just relax
and enjoy the bounties of nature.
The
me.
to
as I took
how advantageous
could not write holding a wiggly
I
I have a rather outstanding problem which
exam with me,
to the
Little did I suspect
would be
this
"Dear Aunt Maggot, situated about four inches above
Hu
took
I
all classes.
(continued from page 2)
I
more
moment. After
tense each
had thought a
I
long time, the professor shook his head sadly and turned to walk away.
Hu
holding poor
WAGISER'S PIZZA
"Ma-ma." With
out,
my
In
this I forgot
it
his
word, and
first
and
My
child
had been
it
yelled
it
about the exam,
the graduation, the job in Alaska.
spoken
was
nervousness, I
so tight I squeezed
had
word
his
"Mama!"
for me,
Suddenly, the professor turned and smiled at me.
GUARANTEED
"Congratulations," he said, "the answer
Mau Mau.
TASTELESS FOR
So,
THOSE WHO
babies, bring
you mothers of small
all
correct:
is
You've passed the course."
them
They'll help you every time.
to college.
DISLIKE PIZZA
Night Watchman wedding
in
practically
By
June. of
all
(continued from page 5)
May,
the end of
I
had made
we still Then
arrangements, but
the
were having trouble finding an apartment.
Al
me
told
that the administration had relinquished
the field house to us and the P.E. majors had re-
decorated
We moon
and made
it
were married that June and,
for the
Since our marriage,
ferent though.
of
I,
to keep clean plus
my
is
on
apart-
have the apartment
course,
work
college
his
new
things have been dif-
the nights that torture me.
fear while he
after a honey-
Mt., moved into our
to Willis
ment.
It's
frilly little curtains
Everything was perfect then.
windows.
rounds,
to keep
up with.
I live in
constant
wondering what
Will the Hamptj'-Dampty
might happen to him.
him
boys raid?
Will
library field his
Will a brick from the new dormitory head? Will there be others who think
as
I
fall
of
on
him
a
dog
bite
as
he crosses the
?
did?
hold
I
my
breath, waiting to
hear his keys jingling as he passes our small home.
This
is
my
plea.
man. Help him on trouble. in that
THE MOST TREASURED NAME
IN PERFWVIE
Remember small
little
Be kind to the night watchway and try to avoid causing
his
—someone behind
and praying each night for
14
the infirmary
house loves him and
is
his safe return.
waiting
Select
Your
GRADUATION
Gilts
FARMVILLE CREAMERY
From^
Pasteurized Dairy
WEYANOKE BOOK SHOP Phone 44
200 High Street
Products 1
-J
Farmville, Virginia
IN FLOWERS AWAITS YOU AT
THE BEST
Farmville, Virginia
Member Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. Member Federal Reserve System
COLLINS FLORIST Phone 181 Day
Phone 4 Night
For the Finest
"Compliments of Your Newberry Store" J.
NEWBERRY
J.
—
call
in
—
Flowers
CARTER'S FLOWER SHOP
CO. I
Where You Are
Stop
NATIONAL BANK
FIRST
1
6
Phone 600 West Third Street
MARTIN THE JEWELER
Own College SNACK BAR
Try Your
Will Appreciate Your Business
Farmville, Virginia
SOUTHSIDE SUNDRY
GRADUATE
Stationery by Montag, Eaton, Stuart Hall
REGISTERED PHARMACISTS
Cards by Gibson
Agency
for
Whitman's Candy
Monogramed
Stationery,
Revlon and Rubenstein
Playing Cards
Eastman Kodak and Film Office
Matches and Napkins
and School Supplies
Soda Fountain and Restaurant
GRAY'S DRUG STORE
"ON THE CORNER"
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PRINTING v_
^^S K
J^^^^^sl
Farmville, Virginia
^^^^
Hv
• Letterheads
H^^
* Newspapers
^
HOTEL WEYANOKE
• Folders
Strictly Fireproof
and Modern
Bedrooms Newly Furnished
phone
Excellent Meals
48
Across from Longwood College
THE FARMVILLE HERALD
C. T.
|
North Street -- FannviUe, Va.
15
FliEENOR, Mgr.
BURGER'S
MARKET FARMVILLE MFG. CO.
Fresh Meats, Fruits, Vegetables, Groceries and Virginia
Hams
Picture Framing
&
Bulletin Boards
Phone 7
Compliments
WILLIE'S STA^D
of
South Main Street
CHAPPELL'S Specialize
Lunches, Confections, School Supph'es
in
HOT DOGS, HAMBURGERS, and FRESH BARBECUE
CHEESEBURGERS
ICE IN
And
DAVIDSON'S
YOUR DRINKS
Surface of Your Dishes Untouched
by Hands Always Open
'THE HOUSE OF QUALITY"
BRADSHAWS RESTAURANT BURKEVILLE, VIRGINIA
Long wood Jewelry Charge Accounts invited
LONGWOOD JEWELER
STOnE Headquarters for Shoes
F
r s t
Farmville, Virginia
With th e Newest DOROTHY MAY
FARMVILLE FURNITURE
COMPANY
Farmville, Virginia
"Connplete House Furnishings"
COLLEGE SHOPPE
NEWMAN'S MEN'S SHOP
"We Appreciate Your
UT^'. THIRD STREET FARMVILLE, VIRGINIA
Patronage'
Farmville, Virginia
Phone 969
Norcross Cords
Montag
Whitman Candy Stationery
Popular Cosmetics Fountain Service
OWEN-SANFORD DRUG
CO.
16
''For Better
Shows
IVe
Offer The Bestr
State and Lee AND
Farmville Drive- In Theatres
"Visit
Our Theatres
In Farmvill e,Vi rginia"
SADDLES
Spakiingb have distinction
and is always Spalding Saddles show you're in the know about style, comfort and good shoe value.
that can't be copied
recognized.
JSaldiwin J
''Bright,
clean flavor... pure,
snow-white '
filter... that's
wINSTON'
JL^OV- CyU4tc4uu4^S "When
it
comes to
my
Winstons, I go right along with the majority," says the famous 'photographer' star of The Bob
Cummings Show on NBC.
"It's America's favorite mine!" To a rich, bright blend of prized tobaccos, Winston adds its own specially designed, pure white filter. The result is an unusually filter
cigarette
clean, fresh
Smoke
- and
taste-the Winston taste! You'll
WINSTON America's
like
it,
too! J.RETNOLDS TOBÂŤCCO
CO..
WINSTON-SALEH,
N. C.
best-selling, best-tastin g filter cigarette!