Colonnade1958213long

Mfioreaern MAY

•

nomances

1958

STOOV

UP in the STACKS

JAMES MADISON INN House

o'

"Specializing in

Good Sats Home Cooked Food"

AIR CONDITIONED FOR

YOUR COMFORT

f FARMVILLE

2004-w

PROSPECT ROAD

'^

•

ir

FARMVILLE, VIRGINIA

Where Good People Find Good Food"

THE IMAOAXINE THAT LIES FOR VOU

MOREDERN ROMANCES MAY,

1958

TRUE BOOKLENGTHS STOOD-UP IN THE STACKS I WAS AN ASPARAGUS ADDICT

3

!

was hopelessly

I

sick

—

was only one cure

there

—money

7

TRUE TALL TALES MARRIED THE NIGHT WATCHMAN

I It

was the uniform

that did

it

TRIALS OF A HOUSE It

was my

secret,

but

I

to

me

.

.

.

5

those shiny buttons

MOTHER

knew sometime, somehow,

they

would

find out

11

SPECIAL SERVICE SECTION OPPORTUNITIES

6

YOUR BABY MY BABY PUT ME THROUGH COLLEGE ARTICLES AND FEATURES

13

SEND ME YOUR SORROWS— By Aunt Maggot MOVIES YOU SHOULDn't MISS PEN PALS ARE YOU DESIRABLE?— RATE YOURSELF

8 12

COLONNADE PARODY

XXI

Vol.

2 10

ISSUE EDITOR Nancy Lee Brubeck MANAGING EDITOR Molly Workman ADVISOR Richard K. Meeker

ART

STORIES

Carol Lassiter

FEATURES Betty Griggs

Nancy Winfree Joan Lee Thomas

Wayne Boyden Bonnie

Mann

Sandra Clements

Ann Glover Mary Ellen Moore Carolyn Waugaman Judy Harris

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ^Ir.

Ray Merchant

The Camera

Artist

No. 3

Send me your sorrows Aunt Maggot

"by

Three from

of this month's five prize-winning letters

are

which

college students,

just goes to prove

that education doesn't solve all your problems!

Weight

some unique

solutions to the problem

.

.

I have ever seen

look thrown together; she

my

and I

clothes,

"Dear Aunt Maggot,

What

Since

it

is

common knowledge. Tubby,

that you try staying

up

that the I

suggest

You

night to study.

all

not lose weight, but

guarantee that your

I

grades will improve tremendously!

NO PRIVACY? seemingly

girl,

For

insoluble

an

intelligent

can

college

be

often

what you

Let's see

readers think of this one:

Helen

J.

Old." a good

deserve such an interested audience.

those those

who who

technique.

this suggestion

who

to discourage

are anxious to get in a

Please keep

practice.

I

am

me

posted on further

knowing how

interested in

turns out.

THE ROOMMATE PROBLEM: I

a

grooming habits are unbelievable. four baths

in the past

— because

wash her

and most

last

you

to give

to try

Her

fairly clear picture of the situation.

personal

She has taken

four months

{all in the

same

She has yet

to

hair or change the sheets on her bed.

I

she

keep raising the

'felt

window

dirty').

to air out the

room, but

nothing helps.

am

there are no other vacant rooms

whole school,

do?

move.

so neither of us can

nearly at the end of

my

What

rope.

I

should I

I ma Neatsy."

As long

you have a

as

you should try using

it

little

rope

left,

maybe

—around

on your roommate

HOW TO HANDLE A WOLF:

In case you

ever run into this situation, perhaps this next letter will give you

some

ideas.

.

.

"Dear Aunt Maggot, I have been dating a boy

who

whom

For

which annoys me very much. alone together, he

In fense.

.

has a room-

made a wise

I

like very

much.

Unfortunately, though, this boy has one bad habit

this case, I

insists

Whenever we

on biting

my

ear.

are

What

Prudence Q."

Pru, a good offense

suggest

early marriage.

a boarding college student I thought I had

at 4 a.m.

want

repulsive habit, but I do

that

This could either lead

am

me

I really hesitate to mention this

situ-

"Dear Aunt Maggot, I

bed clothes

and perfume on my underclothes, and

can I do to break him of this?

Some

will admit, are not easy to handle.

example, take the case of this girl

mate problem.

my

while encouraging

Later on, you might even loan your

developments, as

ations,

to

are sincerely interested in learning your

boy friend to those little

show

suggest that

I

This will tend

are merely curious,

me

help

her neck!

Helen you put on

you charge admission.

oil

Aunt Maggot,

I am a student at a girls' college, and the parlor where we entertain our dates is situated on a very busy hall. I can't even kiss my date goodnight without benefit of a large audience. What would

heap

in a to

practical jokes include rub-

turning the bed over on

in the

"Dear Aunt Maggot,

Obviously,

nation of

week

problems

turned to practical advantage.

you suggest?

them

right after I've changed sheets, pouring a combi-

Tubby P."

can I do to lose weight?

body uses up more energy while awake,

may

continually borrowing

inevitably find

Her

the

is

clothes always

bing wet cigarette butts and ashes in

have gained almost

college, I

30 pounds. I have tried all the diets, exercises, pills, etc., recommended by my friends, but to no avail.

is

—her

under her bed; she absolutely refuses

.

clean our room.

Since coming to

and slams doors when I'm

noisy

is

trying to sleep; she gripes incessantly; she sloppiest girl

not limited to

are

of course,

troubles,

college girls, but college life does offer

constantly; she

choice

when I asked her to room with me, but it seems I was wrong. Aunt Maggot, I don't even know where to begin to name her faults. She cracks gum

PRIDE

vs.

is

the best de-

you try biting him back. to a broken

romance or an

Grood luck!

MODESTY:

Our

last

letter this

month comes from a California girl, who, like many of us, doesn't know when she's well off! (continued on page 14)

so

—

—

STOOD UP

IN THE STACKS

— Why — go — 8:26 — how many minutes 8:30? second hand — Count go — ... 2 ... What do have do tomorrow —Count pages Time

will

ever pass

it

can't

?

^make

the revolutions of the

faster

it

for

37.

Won't he

Kim

3.

I

in history?

the

1

to

opened her compact, touched up her

her

Her

her shoulders.

lipstick

too-tight

blue eyes stared

She ran her hand over

back at her in the mirror.

and admired her overly trim

dress

—

Eight-thirty-three

the walls of the reference

names

of

Britannica,

Psychology oh, well,

a

Hearing

—Kim glanced around room, repeating mentally — World Book,

the

Collier's

encyclopedias .

.

.

John!

class.

He was

lot of

people did that.

steps

a

boy

in

always staring at her

her .

.

.

on the walk she jerked her head

the direction of the front door of the library,

—

must be him!

The door opened and a figure somewhat resemb-

thinking

surely this

ling a boy appeared in a black rain coat, carrying a

black umbrella.

with large black

would

too 4,

casually stroll to the stacks "

6

5,

—"2

Suddenly books were dropped, heads

noise

ran

hesitating,

down two

Kim

flights of

dashed

and

was drawn

down

A

stacks.

was heard which sounded

similar to that of a person falling

Without

seconds,

started,

toward the dark passage leading to the shattering

Why can't

three minutes late.

he be on time just this once?

in

intently, anxiously wait-

verj-

the stairs.

in that direction,

and found him

stairs,

in

a heap at the bottom of the second flight.

figure.

the

watched the clock

ing for the usual lapse of three minutes before she,

the attention of everyone in the library

ever get here?

and replaced several stray platinum blond hairs that fell lazily to

Kim

it

until

faster?

feet,

He was

6'3", excruciatingly thin

"Herbert!" she

glasses?

neither from one side to the other but

from the door to the stairway leading and disappeared down the

stairs.

arm he

He

went

looked

directly

to the stacks

me

helping

find

my

seem to locate them."

—

are," she said as she

—

let

me

handed

help you" and she

began picking up the scattered books.

"I must have been thinking about something else

and forgotten to watch he got to his

my

Herbert said

step,"

as

feet.

"Let's go back to a carrel," whispered Kim, sens-

were still several pairs of eyes staring them through the stairway. Without a Herbert followed, glancing at the book

ing that there

word

his

I can't

"No, no here they them to him. "Here

Under

glasses.

"Would you mind

moment.

down

horn-rimmed

him anxiously,

"Well, 1 don't believe so," replied Herbert after a

unruly black hair and wearing thick

carried a brief case and five thick books.

staring at

cried,

"are you hurt?"

at

shelves along the %vay.

"Well," he began once they were both seated a carrel, "j'ou certainly the library

know

managed

in

to let everj-one in

that you and I".

.

.

Kim's mouth

—

!

Pressing her body tightly

kept him from finishing. against

she

his

kissed

"Herbert,

breathless.

never get here.

It

everywhere

I

parted.

Fearing that to pursue their talk might make

him angry, Kim followed his example, but after a few minutes became restless and began to twist in

look.

love you. ...

I

darling, I love you so

tween each phrase to

him

rub

his

can't imagine

your handsome face

see

I

and so very wonderful ...

ing

—you I

love you.

You're so handsome and strong

love you.

passionately.

love you.

I

much.

kiss

.

."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

She paused

neck with slow,

rhythmically.

be-

strokes,

gradually

finally

responded

"Promise

Greek

hard.

Herbert

replied,

"People might be watch-

tomorrow

test

How

!

until

over

to

really

that's

I'd better be starting

"Herbert weeks

on

do?

I

have

going to be

it."

can you think of studying at a

Don't you realize that

it's

only nine

June and then we won't see each other months? We musn't waste one

three

moment that we're together. I miss you much when we're away from each other. Please

precious so

put your arms around me."

"Kim, we must be can't

let

several several

for

minutes e.xcept for the turning of pages.

Kim

Soon

moved over minutes Herbert got up

could restrain herself no longer and

After several

beside him.

from the

and walked over to the philosophy

table

books, seemingly oblivious to Kim's actions.

Kim

waited for him to return, trying to control

She waited for what

no longer. She stood up and walked slowly through

me."

you'll never leave

time like this?

for

chair

his

stopped

action

all

me

Don't you have some studying

ing.

a

her,

Herbert

away and

him she put her leg it up and down

move moved

to

seemed

Squirming out of her arms and moving away

from

closer to

"Oh, Herbert, dearest, I do love you very much," she whispered in his ear.

to her kisses.

very,

and began

his

inches

closer she began to

easy

Moving

beside

.

Oh,

.

her seat.

.

him and was soon embrac-

Moving

becoming more intense until he

so

to read.

like a year since last night.

thought

I

I've thought of nothing else but you

we

ever since

conversation, he opened one of his books and began

you'd

darling,

seems

were both

they

until

you so very much

I've missed

how much.

I

him

our social

interfere with

Certainly you must agree that that comes

have our whole

lives before us

so let's not get involved right

when we

now."

We

education. first.

We

graduate,

Dropping the

half hour before she could stand

full

a

Kim went

Herbert was nowhere to be found.

and down to the two lower

stairs

appear

anxious

but

casual

him.

finding

into the biogra-

On

entering the

she noticed that several books had fallen off

Stooping to pick them up

the shelf in the corner. she

up-

trying to

floors,

not

at

Thinking he must have wandered phy room she headed for there.

room

it

pretending to be looking for a book.

the stacks,

someone

heard

switch

out

the

She

lights.

"Oh, Herbert," she whispered, romantic!" Hearing nothing, she called

started to her feet.

"You're so

name

his

sensible about this thing. life

the impulse to follow him.

here.

.

.

"Herbert,

again.

Herbert

.

where are you?" her

way

the

to

.

.

.

I'm

darling,

Herbert

.

.

.

over

Herbert,

hearing nothing she groped

Still

and turned

switch

light

Looking around the room she found no one.

on.

it

"Her-

Herbert," she called, but no one answered.

bert,

She walked out into the adjoining room and found that

all

Going

also.

the lights had been turned off there

into the next

room and again finding

no light she became frightened and ran up the

main

to the

been turned out but, she saw him standing there,

fJ shoes'^

and mysterious,

dark

outlined

against

shining through the windows.

arms and started

kissing

Herbert responded and

him

gently pushed her

When

switch.

frantically.

Kim was

IN

SADDLE SHOE

THE

at

his

For once

of.

Kim

him,

—

Then

he

to a light

couldn't

was John bashful John who followed her around the campus believe her eyes

At Last on Your Campus!

looked

light

reassured that here

away and walked over

she

—

the

She rushed into

was the man she had always dreamed

THE TAPERED TOE

stairs

All the lights had

floor of the library.

and

to

What

whom

it

she

wasn't Herbert

had

given

the

it

cold

a situation to be in

(continued

in

next issue)

shoulder.

Married

I

I

was

tember

when

sixteen

night watchman.

was employed there as a known him all my life be-

I'd

I'd

owned

cause his father

saw him

entered college that Sep-

I

1955, and Al

in

town.

Night Watchman

the

the pool parlor in our

home

never really noticed him before until

in

that

I

handsome blue and gray uniform.

All the silver buttons and the gun and holster sent cold chills up and I'd

had a

anything

down my I

my

but never

did everything to

make him

Every night

in

paraded by

I

his office in

nightgown and bobby pins or crawled out on

the catwalk, but all to no avail. ly to e\eryone,

He was

so friend-

but paid no more attention to

me

For

a

terested,,

wanted awry.

I

whole semester,

tried

to

get

him

to die.

—

Everything

could

tortured.

I

all

my

in-

night

I

lay

his

I

if

(the

woman

is

could ask him to the

I

could just beat that sly Betty

Hex

to

the draw.

I

ran from the meeting to his

gone on

his

Where

rounds.

ran out of the back of Freshman,

I

hurriedly the

ran

organ

to

my ;

rise

and

At

that

Josephine playing "Tenderly."

I

eye caught

music build-

Asher Hall

began to

As

he be?

his figure in its flashing suit enter the

ing.

but he was

office,

could

and,

as

there

I

sat

moment

I

awake thinking

under the conditions that he could find someone to

of his deep, gruff voice, the clanking of his keys

and worried about

Now

plans had gone

I

do?

At

Twirp dance

voted to have a

requested to pay).

saw him coming up the aisle. I rushed forward and asked him the question, hoping against hope He accepted that his answer would be "yes."

and then he started dating Betty Hex.

What

was

I

ber,

entered,

than any of the other 300 freshmen

knows,

maybe someone was waiting under the laundry steps to attack him?

Gralda Nu Chi, the Finally my chance came. honorary Greek fraternity, of which I was a mem-

dance

spine. life,

of crushes

like this.

notice me.

my

lot

Who

and the dangers he might encounter.

treacherous nightly rounds

take

his

relieved.

rounds for

him

that

night.

I

felt

so

The

when

next day

saw Al he

I

Mrs. Clover was taking the post

Now

shoes for the job.

me

told

everything was

that

had the

since she

We

decorated

OF

day Saturday for the dance

all

Cedarbook and the combo party dance went

a lot of boys

from Hampty-Dampty there and they gave me a big rush for dances.

I could tell that Al was

my

Perhaps

getting jealous.

scheme

trap

to

him

If

lot.

One good shirt

—

we

we saw

date

I

would casually

walk under the Colonnade or to the Biology build-

.25

;

jacket.

ring

.25;

to:

.10.

Earn sparetime cash

—be a bubble

dancer or pop Easy money. elaborate costumes are

out of cakes at fraternity parties. expenses,

each other quite a

didn't have a date

one

.20;

Shipped, General Delivery.

needed first

— one Longivood sweatLong^vood — one — Address inquiries

raincoat

Longwood

No

would work.

After that

WOMEN

TO

INTEREST

at

The

at O'Neills.

There were

off perfectly.

OPPORTUNITIES

Things

set.

were beginning to look up.

—

no

as

just the barest of necessities.

at your fingertips when suntan lotion on 3rd floor Rotunda.

Cash money

you

sell

can bring you money when you repair them. Shoes often need resoling badly as the result of much shuffling.

Contact History Department, Longwood College.

Shoes

ing with him on his rounds.

This was true

into his big blue eyes, to touch his his lips pressing

and

I

me

It thrilled

love.

so to look

hand or

Each day was

on mine.

a

to feel

dream

Educational Opportunities

waited anxiously for him to arrive on duty

Sometimes

at 5 p.m.

I

never pass quickly enough and

would never

My

arrive.

hours would

felt that the

that

five

grades dropped,

walked around on a big white cloud.

Then one night when we were all alone greenhouse, he proposed.

more romantic.

The

but

in

the

A

From

bliss!

that day forward

lessons.

Money Making Opportunities

Business and

Make

we made

plans for our

(continued on page 14)

your typewriter Earn Money.

Very nominal fee; excellent view of the stage. Must be able to remember numbers and must be able to go every

Seat at Assembly.

Tuesday.

DRAW ME win

$50,000

a

Scholarship in Professional Art to

the Podunk

You

are

Art Institute.

taught

in-

suite

vacated

in

stick."

Money while

Big

Have

Neuman

Furniture probe

Foreign Job Listings

lor? If

Amy McFIop

Will

Bookstore and Post Office. New proprietor must be able to "Speak softly and carry a big

Do you have

Roman Nockwell

worn.

little

a

so,

broad.

Work

in

experience as a marriage counsecontact Princess Margaret, England.

colossal

statues.

a

Morals not necessary.

French cafe.

fessionals:

Alfred E.

senior dormitory.

in

A

vided.

One

desires a rest.

the renter must be able to sing.

:

June.

Earn

dividually by the pro-

Owner

Presidency of Chi.

One

may

Sell it!

For Rent

stipulation

You

easy

10

through the glassy

from the sprinklers brushed

fine spray

This was

our cheeks.

dancing at home in Technique will be stressed.

modern

Learn I

roof and the flowers gave the air a scent of April

fragrance.

as

o'clock

Nothing could have been

stars peered

Broaden yourself

Educate yourself at home. you sit. Babysitting!

Must

figure? not

Italy

needs

you

for

mind being covered with

plaster of Paris.

Mail Picasso,

to:

Podunk Art

Institute,

The Coal Mines from

III.

the

of Siberia offer ycni an escape

hustle

and bustle nf the big city.

High pay and a caus'

Short working hours.

Pull

Draw This head

5

ft.

with Arabian pencil.

July,

1954.

None

will

high on 16 x 24 inch paper

Drawing must be received by be returned.

a

ricksha through the streets of beautiful

Hong Kong.

Dog-sled

Lose

drivers

weight while you

wanted

family; shortage of dogs.

in

Alaska.

work.

Bring

;

An Asparagus Addict

Wajs

I

"Money, money, money! I want money!" How I remember screaming those words at my father and rushing out of the room in a rage that

well

night in September,

cool

for college.

I

my

days of

My

home.

life at

They could

constantly.

night before

the

family and

as

wanted

I

money would

he had lots and lots of

;

my

But

all!

it

parents just

They were

not listen to reason.

obsessed with the

was more important than money, but

idea that love

they lived to regret their mistake, and so did

am

proud that

won my

I

My

few weeks

first

exclusive socially.

of the girls seemed

how much money of

and

I had,

none

friends, but

me

tell

was

After

me huge

at

was

father

packages of money, and that was

was playing

my

my

because

all,

Every

while everybody

night,

bridge, or studying,

would

I

sit

room, door barred, and count the money.

would arrange

I

very neatly

it

a large,

in

square lucite box that sat directly in front of the

door for everyone to admire.

happy those

The Dean

fell.

my room

—

at her.

Women

of

one day and she became

no doubt

jealous

box staring

I

—when

she

next thing

knew,

I

the

Dean took my

money from me and locked and to make things even that I had sufficient

school term, so I I

without

was

was not

terrified

my money

to

!

it

my

racked

days

my

I

could not

any more from

What would my

life

be

off?

eat,

sleep,

or study.

I

brain trying to discover a means to get

some more money, but ceased to have any recluse.

my

greatest

money

was

that

like

canned

various

testing

of

discovered asparagus!

green,

did

was long and

It

money, and at the time, the horrible

know what

I

discovery.

my

but

soon

I

enjoyed the taste of

my

all

other

—

obsession time.

I

I

and

desires.

only

that

actually

I

slowly overpowered

it

became a

It

tremendous

me

and everv^where

to class

it

and ate and

ate

discovered

it,

and

only to console

it

had to have asparagus with

took

I

ate

I

little

from that

result

asparagus

eating

For a while

grief,

would

disaster

began

I

asparagus.

all the

went.

I

ate.

This delightful existence continued for almost

months

until

morning

the

that

day than ever before

next morning

ate

was more asparagus

—seventeen

I

The

cans.

my

with horror that

discovered

I

I

that

discovered

I

skin had taken on a pale green cast.

worried, and to pacify myself,

pale green skin had turned to a deep chlorophyll color,

and suddenly

I

My

realized the cause.

my

had absorbed so much asparagus that system was coated with

done!

That

night

I

it

Something had

!

body entire to be

had a very deep and serious

finally

I

gave up.

meaning for me then

After staying

in

my room

;

I

for

Life

became a

few

my

not retain

although

I

more, and to

be

could not allow

transformed

Once

I

had made the by

stick

into

I

it.

class.

At

who

first

I

this

loved myself even

I

my

once lovely skin

ghastly

green

color.

was determined took my whole closetful of

asparagus and delivered

Dr. Sneaker,

beloved

Finally I decided that

loved the asparagus, I

my

beauty and keep eating

asparagus at the same time.

to

father wrote

entered a severe state of depression, and for

several

door, and above

smell seemed to be a gift from heaven, but

precious

to last the rest of the

to receive

show

The

the school safe

in

Vi'orse,

money

my

savv^

explained the situation

but, like everyone else, she did not understand.

home.

very

for

rof^m that

discussion with myself, for I realized that I could

blow

the

happened to pass

lucite

very,

days.

But then very upset

was

I

days

several

I

my

me

my

—because

was cheap

that

losing any portion of the

foods,

never

I could

my

fix in

stored in the bank.

me

Then

a

fear

the fact that most of the girls avoided

that mattered.

I

a food

five

else

could

I

refused

I

went shopping

I

would keep others away from all,

At

sending

in

some type of food that

worth talking about.

anything

did not bother

else

successful

too

to enjoy listening to

think

all

make

to

about

first,

be told.

Runtbush College, an

were not

was anxious

I

now

story can

at

school,

girls'

money with

battle for

my

help from no one, and

I

I.

began to get hungry.

I

to eat in the dining room, so

—

my basic desire in life money. It my father did not have money to give

if

me, because he did

and

argued

I

not understand me, their

only child, and

was not

left

I

suppose those were the most miserable

weeks, however,

decision, I

it

to

my

English professor.

when

used to drool

was worried

that

I

ate

it

in

Dr. Sneaker

would turn green, too, but then I remembered that he was not a very excitable man and would probably

not

be

aroused

by

anything

so

mild

as

asparagus.

For three whole would not allow myself to go near any asparagus, although I was tempted many times,

That

weeks

night I began the "cure.''

I

(continued on page 10)

PEN

soon as

1.

We

I

learn

how

to write.

Address:

Bluepeck, 356 East Drive, Cunningham, S. D.

Rotunda

Hello, friends. a friendly young couple ivho \vould like to be friends with you. So brothers and sisters, if you'd like to be friends with us, just drop a friendly line to Sister Witty

Fancy

and Brother Calvincoat, First Holiness Council, Rolling Isles, Canada.

Real Charmer would with someone who

like to

also

correspond raises

pet

That South American Black Viper I'm holding is my favorite.

She laid 732 eggs yesterday. I'll send free eggs to everyone who writes me.

Address: Dash Boozewell, Cobra Place, Squirmy, India. snakes.

Dig this: I'm a big fan of Charlie Broun and am interested in others who dig him. I'm 19 years old, interested in collecting butterflies

(moths, and crocheting doilies. I have a fan club for "Fabulous Charlie," and too)

would close

new members.

like

money.

Helper,

333

Address:

World

St.,

Please en-

Merry Violet,

Jean Mass.

5.

Prospective Pen Pals, I just think this Pen Pal idea is really peachy keen. I

mean I

3.

humans

I'm a Coloniiadc fan, 19 years old. I learning to read very slowly and your letters would help make this less

am

of a task.

I

will

answer

to say,

all

letters as

nothing but fabulous. you know, Please, everyone, send me it's

just love to write people,

lots

!

and

them. dress:

lots

of post-cards.

I

collect

have four, already!) AdFran Grover, Happy Daze

(I

Sanitorium,

Worsham, Va.

—

PALS Men:

I

want your opinions

the

of

"Sack" dress. Note how the one I am wearing emphasizes my figure! Please write me all your pro's and con's on Address: Frances Brick, the subject.

Lump.wood

Wanted: Lots of nice male correspondents, especially you matrimonially-minded ones. Address all letters to: Girls, Miss Sadie's Home for

The

Wayward

Girls, Sadlv,

Ohio.

College, Frameville, Va. 10.

Look you "Tough Kats" We want you to ^vrite us. This picture was

7.

Calling

all

real

Hep

:

Cats:

This

little

strictly from Doll Land and is like for all you cool wheels to grab a quill and scribble a line this way. Plant your peepers on my pic and if you don't write then, you must be a girl!

Address: Yvonne Weird, 310 Tomcat Grove, Chicago, Illinois.

girl

would

taken just as we were about to pull our biggest job "The Shortstick Dorm Caper." don't want no cops writing us, just you real tough kats. Ad-

We

Ruby "The Moll" Binkly and Dot "The Shot" Washbell. dress:

11.

Attention

Calling

all

Kute

Kittens:

Here's

a

gone cat who would like to meet I have quite a voice and really love to wail. Several record companies are after me.

Address: Sudsv. real

you.

boys between the ages of 13 and 16: We're five bored girls who would like to write some boys in our age-group. like wild parties, as all

We

you can see. Address: The J. D.'s, Detention Home, Richmond, Virginia,

(continued on page 12)

WW W

MOVIES

(continued from page 7)

Asparagus Addict

YOU I

found that

could do nothing

I

day but pace

all

the floor and occasionally throw things about. didn't really have the desire to I

had heard that

and

threw and

I

I

and

But

The

morning

my

I survived.

discovered

I

that

my

—

it

was

discovered that

I

never forget

the

my

skin

film.

world

my

glorious news.

And

rotic

hands,

I

—

I

little

dime into

had truly conquered

I realized that I

with asparagus and person

scooped the

now

had regained

I

was once more

my

But

as usual

he meets

my

normal money.

will

who

ACROSS THE

new

and

touching

yourself

find

view

glued

this pitiful

portrays a poor neu-

himself.

SUCCESS SPOIL ROCK

BRINKLEY?—The movie takes place

where we

bout

ability to love

Mama.

to

shut off from the world in a

VW\AVILL

my

a

You

room by

and be-

lo

home

character

—

supreme, for as

friend

whose

idealist

beautiful all-American

to the seat as you

what should be lying at my feet just outside the brightest, shiniest dime the door but a dime Oh, that was a moment of joy I had ever seen.

hold,

a

STREET—A

—

tell

rough

VVTHE WINDOW

pale green

I'll

was no longer green it was a glorious day, the sun was shining brightly and my pale yellow face was very becoming.

In ecstasy I rushed from my room to

when

the day

—

match

to take

was not the

skin

was overjoyed!

I

A

ours.

chorus girl that any boy would want

color of chlorophyll any longer

once again.

top notch, all-

fondness for the ladies keeps him in

three weeks were pure torture, but one

first

old story

bloody

performance by your

constant jams. his

asparagus.

X

round

would sweep over me like a giant wave and I would have to try very hard to keep myself from rushing to Dr. Sneaker's house and grabbing

tear jerker

V same

VPAL CHARLIE—A

paced

Sometimes the longing for asparagus

threw.

I

throw anything, but

addicts did this while taking

all

the "cure," so I paced and

\/\/

SHOULDn't MISS

I

stupendous side splitter

\/

and

setting of this

in the ruins of

Troy

find the noted archeologist

Rock

philosopher.

Brinkley,

searching for valuable and important

Roman

or Greek knows not which. these

documents

He

— he

plans to use

documents to better the people

of his countn', since their culture and civilization are collapsing.

VWFROM HERE TO BURKEVILLE—A heart-warming

HUfHT

story of

who

a group of young people

find

it

make their desired trip to Burkeville, "The vacation land of youth." You will be moved by their impossible to

every intention, and you will rejoice

them when dream come true.

with

they

XAROUND THE CAMPUS SECONDS— Blood

jvT^r^

nocent

cement

While

PHONI

Guarantees liair control year-round.

Put an end to your daily hair combing. Hair and can treated with PHONI need not Ask now at your campus not be combed.

new

PHONI

with

the

left is

IN

by an on

seen

80 in-

the

shape of a head.

exploring

the

grounds

he

comes upon a dark, dismal tunnel.

—

—

store for the twist curlers.

individual in the

their

find

Unaware society'

of the meeting of the secret

or of the mutilation that

crank

lows,

he

ventures

destruction.

10

into

a

web

fol-

of

The Trials of a College Housemother I'll

never forget the

first

day

came

I

to

The

late spring breeze.

next day

cause of the celebration.

was

shining.

It

I

magnificent

day

the

years

Keep thy ing

have

way

years

ten

Plowtown was housemother. heart as It

home

the

Shortbranch

of

to begin the happiest days of I'll

saw

I

was

my

my own

to

lovely

splendor and flung

stood

I

my

in

in ecstasy.

that

we

My

see."

someday

—some-

the little heaven

Then

it

had

I

week-end

was my first mistake. My knuckles were bruised for two weeks. Well, perhaps the room was just a bit small, but for me it was paradise compared with the cell in which I had spent the past twenty

and

off

It

horrible

now

that

it

traveled eastward

I

in

the bustling me-

my room. There they stood my bed. Schmoo The leader

to

!

"Enter!" she

with a pink-sheeted arm.

gestured

—a

returned late Saturday night

I

about

in a semicircle

happened.

it

now

Schmoo struck!

that

Crewe.

it

hard to believe

is

and opened the door

This

recall

I

spend a few days shopping

tropolis of

the midst of this

arms wide

my

was

It

filled

—my very own—

larger than the rooms of the students

for me.

and

was only yesterday

and furnished with a lovely iron bed and a pine dresser all

— Schmoo would destroy

nightmare,

U.

life as

never forget the joy that

Schmoo's observ-

things

knew

I

seems a night-mare as

where were

room.

The

boy!

Eight happy years passed.

to

drizzle by.

my

Hoo

found at Shortbranch U.

since that

continued

below the knee.

dress

thee.

heart froze in terror.

was because the sun

was the first time in Plowtown, and

It

their throats burst their

frightening theme song, "Schmoos's observing thee.

found out the

that the sun had shone in

Suddenly from

on high.

Plow-

town eight years ago. The sun was shining brightly.

There were bands playing and flags waving in the

"Eight years ago Shortbranch U. hired you

said.

Twenty

on the strength of your excellent record. years in the pen

me,"

she

nothing to sneeze at

is

which

"at

corrected,

to

—pardon but

sneeze;

—

U. was serving hostess duty in the Home Office.

Many were the hours I spent sitting in the Rec-

Schmoo ," she sneered audibly beneath her sheet.

"Schmoo knows!" I could stand it no longer. "So I was framed!" I shouted. "I didn't really murder my mother. I was framed !" At this con-

tangula staring at the lovely statue of every Short-

fession I broke

years.

My

favorite job as housemother at Shortbranch

to

The

Typhoid Mary, who had risen fame from working in the kitchen at dear old

branch

girl's ideal,

from the

little

me

gave

brown

inside coat pockets.

a

the

Stugoo

Club

their

There was but one thing which brought discord to my happy life at Shortbranch. That was the Schmoo was secret organization called Schmoo. composed of members unknown to all but fellow Schmoos. I'll never forget the first night I saw them. At the stroke of midnight they appeared from nowhere upon the Promenade. In their

the

with slow steps they began

I

could no longer stay

that hang in Freshman Parlor, my own framed copy of page forty-four from the Handbook that had hung on

ductions

sheets,

only signed out for Burke-

that

—

Tuesday night

beer parties.

ghostly

You

!

I

Never again could I in my disgrace guide the young women of Shortbranch U. Tearfully I packed my suitcase, removing from my room my few cherished, personal possessions, mementos of my life at S. U. my treasured repro-

had to stay up until two

after

lied

knew then my beloved S. U.

at

or three o'clock in the mornings to open the doors for

is

ville!"

bottles they carried in their

I,

—you

fact

swallow of lemonade

Night duty, though, was some-

times a bit tedious, for

all

"Whether you murdered your mother is not the issue."

Her voice grew low. but as she S[X)ke her words crackled through the room. "The her splendor.

How I loved to chat with the girls as they S. U. waded by (sometimes the rain got a bit out of hand) or talk with the Hamstrung-Smurdly boys, who sometimes

down.

pink-sheeted leader spoke once again in

my

of

wall so

Now tangula,

I

the beautiful

many

years.

stand gazing tearfully about

knowing

Methodically

I

that

my

pull

heeled walking shoes,

and pick up

their

march down the Promenade, past the wrought-iron statue of Typhoid Mary bearing her pancake turner

folds

of

my

my

the

Rec-

must linger no longer.

I

galoshes over

I raise

my

big,

my

wedge-

black umbrella

one suitcase; and wrapping the

plaid-lined

leave behind forever

11

paintings

trenchcoat

—dear

about me,

Shortbranch U.

I

Pen Pals

Are You Desirable?

(cnnrinucd from page

'-')

12.

Look

Are you bashful too?

at

me.

I

couldn't face the camera without blush-

Rate Yourself

so here I am in a typical pose.

Don't be backward with me, especially you like farming. I'm the champion plower in our county. Address: Ruby ing,

if

Yes

1.

Are

always

you

eyelashes are

Rube, Amelia, Virginia.

your

that

sure

straight?

t)n

There

is

man

as

13.

No

nothing so disgusting to a look

to

and

Men — Here

Well,

eyes

sweetheart's

his

into

come

see diagonal eyelashes.

statistics

Yes

2.

Are you always sure

No

use

to

and

smearproof,

proof,

swim-

But,

I

!

I lose my head very easily.

Address: Blanche La Flame, Box 6400, Paris, Kv.

because

tearproof

mascara? Tears are your best chance of getting what you want.

Don't spoil your most touching sob scene b}' looking as if you had run into

if

14.

Men:

a post.

We

3.

Do you

with

air

No

from the

protect your skin

two

least

at

inches

Devil Face? Never let any your real complexion.

of the

of

a

man

Yes

4.

Do you have one mouths that will

No

those

of

5.

Are your long?

No

nails

If

Yes

6.

They could come

you get

Do jou have are

a

8.

No

knees

face

If

would

say

Not

problem.

undesirable,

enticing.

Beautiful legs

Do your I

it

Fancy Free

toothpick legs, turnip

must unless you wear extra

so,

Line,

in

of distinction

long bermudas.

Yes

make

The Chorus

Burlesque, Detroit, Michigan.

in a fight.

or piano legs?

legs,

No

if

tell your in jour (and will

etc.

do you wear Stick-

not,

'em-on-quick?

handy

and

income,

girl that replies

she ever) promises to

Address:

are tired

two inches

least

at

status,

The

are fourteen

who

Please include

You may

to ear?

If so, beware! swallow someone.

Yes

elastic

from ear

stretch

yourself

of

picture

letter.

lovely girls

same old men.

marital

see

We

need You!

(count us)

Yes

—

I am your dream won't tell you my vital because they're pretty obvious. you write, please be sincere,

true

only

each

a

GAINSBORO

you be have

will

may

you

but

have

you

smokes

other?

trouble walking!

Yes

9.

Do you have Long,

No Yes

10.

Is

you

No

arms

a

a

arms? must

beanpole.

two feet long? he-men do not like

least

real

screwed -up,

are

with

go

your hair at

Remember,

stretchy

long,

stretchy

unless

chopped

-off

African

shocks.

RATING SCALE 7 yes

3

no

5

yes

5

no

3

yes

7

no

— — —

Ravishing!

Plain

Tgh

!

(live

TRUE FLAVOR TAR FILTER TEAR-UP BOX •

up.

12

MY BABY PUT ME THROUGH COLLEGE I

my

want

you young mothers

of

all

experience and to benefit by

give advice, but

what has happened

who

happen to every mother her

formal

education.

I

know

to

to

me

anxious

is

my

brought

In addition to

of

short for Elihu.

should

baby

to

little

;

was no place

like you, I felt college

first,

an infant

but

my

my

parents lived in Australia and

knew

that

if

My

be unable to see

my

bring

it

on weekends.

a

at

disadvantage,

a

incorrect.

the girls flocked to I

might say Elihu,

for me.

my

had to

just

I

You

find a

probably think

don't j'ou?

and

that's baby's I

baby

wanted sitter

I

made

on the

I

little

I

the

in

fuzzy blue beach

had advantages

my

The

also.

let

pro-

endeavors to become an edufor

way

nothing stand in the

my of

glorious education.

course,

All

I

I

had done horribly

in

in

I

I

would get

a job teaching school in

My,

that

was

13

my

Alaska

a crucial

(continued on next page)

hall.

said

passed or failed the

turn would decide whether or not

my husband. my life.

near

al-

which

decide whether

in his class

He

graduated, which in turn would decide whether

or not

friends, or

in,"

had

for all those

woman, and my grades were given

exam would

I

name, made friends to "flick

its

on Contemporary African History.

Well, you're hit.

me

needed

Howe\er, one professor was not generous with

college for baby's

immediately made a

my room

Everytime

ways could

in

that's I

"sack time" myself, or

and

I

the high marks.

baby

sake, but for mother's sake.

100%

I

admired

determination to

baby to Longwood.

I'm not advocating

was

cated

would

I

little

Hu

took

it

Hu,

have a nap and

which babies need mothers.

for

Academically fessors

in-laws in Japan.

they were to keep the child

I

case

to

blanket to the roof.

in Alaska for his research work on The Effect of Traps on Alaskan Mosquitoes, and I felt my baby

I

things

Spring

for

husband was trapping mosquitoes

should not be exposed to that environment.

did not have to take those

I

had

It

in

usually got in a

college.

At

near by

to be

get

to

this,

long, dull afternoon classes because of

don't often

I

it.

point

Send me your sorrows

really

miserable

teasing

me

about

because it.

my

my

my

Please help me.

duties.

are

is

that this

is

a

problem which many

be happy to have.

I

interfering

B. J. Bardot."

Just what are your duties, B. J.?

me

am

always

Mioreover, I work as a riveter

a boiler factory, and this problem

in

with

I

ivaisi.

friends

is

It

seems to

girls

would

of joy.

had answered

I

on the exam, but

The

expected. fate.

was

e.xam

but the

all

to

bundle

last question

had

as I

would decide

question

last

it

oral because little

had not done as well

I

very

my

waited tensely while Professor Sinful read

I

"What

the questions. society of

natives in

organized

in

that

1951,

name

the

is

the secret

of

Kenya, British East Africa, written about in the

is

Something of Value?" had no idea. I thought and thought, growing

novel.

suggest that you just relax

and enjoy the bounties of nature.

The

me.

to

as I took

how advantageous

could not write holding a wiggly

I

I have a rather outstanding problem which

exam with me,

to the

Little did I suspect

would be

this

"Dear Aunt Maggot, situated about four inches above

Hu

took

I

all classes.

(continued from page 2)

I

more

moment. After

tense each

had thought a

I

long time, the professor shook his head sadly and turned to walk away.

Hu

holding poor

WAGISER'S PIZZA

"Ma-ma." With

out,

my

In

this I forgot

it

his

word, and

first

and

My

child

had been

it

yelled

it

about the exam,

the graduation, the job in Alaska.

spoken

was

nervousness, I

so tight I squeezed

had

word

his

"Mama!"

for me,

Suddenly, the professor turned and smiled at me.

GUARANTEED

"Congratulations," he said, "the answer

Mau Mau.

TASTELESS FOR

So,

THOSE WHO

babies, bring

you mothers of small

all

correct:

is

You've passed the course."

them

They'll help you every time.

to college.

DISLIKE PIZZA

Night Watchman wedding

in

practically

By

June. of

all

(continued from page 5)

May,

the end of

I

had made

we still Then

arrangements, but

the

were having trouble finding an apartment.

Al

me

told

that the administration had relinquished

the field house to us and the P.E. majors had re-

decorated

We moon

and made

it

were married that June and,

for the

Since our marriage,

ferent though.

of

I,

to keep clean plus

my

is

on

apart-

have the apartment

course,

work

college

his

new

things have been dif-

the nights that torture me.

fear while he

after a honey-

Mt., moved into our

to Willis

ment.

It's

frilly little curtains

Everything was perfect then.

windows.

rounds,

to keep

up with.

I live in

constant

wondering what

Will the Hamptj'-Dampty

might happen to him.

him

boys raid?

Will

library field his

Will a brick from the new dormitory head? Will there be others who think

as

I

fall

of

on

him

a

dog

bite

as

he crosses the

?

did?

hold

I

my

breath, waiting to

hear his keys jingling as he passes our small home.

This

is

my

plea.

man. Help him on trouble. in that

THE MOST TREASURED NAME

IN PERFWVIE

Remember small

little

Be kind to the night watchway and try to avoid causing

his

—someone behind

and praying each night for

14

the infirmary

house loves him and

is

his safe return.

waiting

Select

Your

GRADUATION

Gilts

FARMVILLE CREAMERY

From^

Pasteurized Dairy

WEYANOKE BOOK SHOP Phone 44

200 High Street

Products 1

-J

Farmville, Virginia

IN FLOWERS AWAITS YOU AT

THE BEST

Farmville, Virginia

Member Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.

Member Federal Reserve System

COLLINS FLORIST Phone 181 Day

Phone 4 Night

For the Finest

"Compliments of Your Newberry Store" J.

NEWBERRY

J.

—

call

in

—

Flowers

CARTER'S FLOWER SHOP

CO. I

Where You Are

Stop

NATIONAL BANK

FIRST

1

6

Phone 600 West Third Street

MARTIN THE JEWELER

Own College SNACK BAR

Try Your

Will Appreciate Your Business

Farmville, Virginia

SOUTHSIDE SUNDRY

GRADUATE

Stationery by Montag, Eaton, Stuart Hall

REGISTERED PHARMACISTS

Cards by Gibson

Agency

for

Whitman's Candy

Monogramed

Stationery,

Revlon and Rubenstein

Playing Cards

Eastman Kodak and Film Office

Matches and Napkins

and School Supplies

Soda Fountain and Restaurant

GRAY'S DRUG STORE

"ON THE CORNER"

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PRINTING v_

^^S K

J^^^^^sl

Farmville, Virginia

^^^^

Hv

• Letterheads

H^^

* Newspapers

^

HOTEL WEYANOKE

• Folders

Strictly Fireproof

and Modern

Bedrooms Newly Furnished

phone

Excellent Meals

48

Across from Longwood College

THE FARMVILLE HERALD

C. T.

|

North Street -- FannviUe, Va.

15

FliEENOR, Mgr.

BURGER'S

MARKET FARMVILLE MFG. CO.

Fresh Meats, Fruits, Vegetables, Groceries and Virginia

Hams

Picture Framing

&

Bulletin Boards

Phone 7

Compliments

WILLIE'S STA^D

of

South Main Street

CHAPPELL'S Specialize

Lunches, Confections, School Supph'es

in

HOT DOGS, HAMBURGERS, and FRESH BARBECUE

CHEESEBURGERS

ICE IN

And

DAVIDSON'S

YOUR DRINKS

Surface of Your Dishes Untouched

by Hands Always Open

'THE HOUSE OF QUALITY"

BRADSHAWS RESTAURANT BURKEVILLE, VIRGINIA

Long wood Jewelry Charge Accounts invited

LONGWOOD JEWELER

STOnE Headquarters for Shoes

F

r s t

Farmville, Virginia

With th e Newest DOROTHY MAY

FARMVILLE FURNITURE

COMPANY

Farmville, Virginia

"Connplete House Furnishings"

COLLEGE SHOPPE

NEWMAN'S MEN'S SHOP

"We Appreciate Your

UT^'. THIRD STREET FARMVILLE, VIRGINIA

Patronage'

Farmville, Virginia

Phone 969

Norcross Cords

Montag

Whitman Candy Stationery

Popular Cosmetics Fountain Service

OWEN-SANFORD DRUG

CO.

16

''For Better

Shows

IVe

Offer The Bestr

State and Lee AND

Farmville Drive- In Theatres

"Visit

Our Theatres

In Farmvill e,Vi rginia"

SADDLES

Spakiingb have distinction

and is always Spalding Saddles show you're in the know about style, comfort and good shoe value.

that can't be copied

recognized.

JSaldiwin J

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