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JOHN WESLEY POWELL STADIUM
Abbott: Well, let’s see, we have on the bags, Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third... Costello: That’s what I want to find out.
Abbott: Every dollar of it. Costello: All I’m trying to find out is the fellow’s name on first base. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy that gets...
Abbott: I say Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know’s on third.
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Abbott: Yes. Costello: You gonna be the coach too? Abbott: Yes. Costello: And you don’t know the fellows’ names? Abbott: Well I should. Costello: Well then who’s on first? Abbott: Yes. Costello: I mean the fellow’s name.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Costello: Who’s wife?
Abbott: No. What is on second. Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second. Abbott: Who’s on first. Costello: I don’t know. Abbott: He’s on third, we’re not talking about him.
Abbott: Who’s on first!
PAUSE Abbott: What’s wrong with that?
Abbott: No. Who’s playing first.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Costello: What’s on first?
Costello: The left fielder’s name?
Abbott: What’s on second.
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I don’t know.
Costello: Because!
Abbott: He’s on third.
Abbott: Oh, he’s centerfield. PAUSE
Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy.
Costello: How does he sign...
PAUSE
Abbott: Who.
Abbott: That’s how he signs it.
Costello: The first baseman.
Costello: Who?
Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don’t go off it.
Abbott: Who.
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: The guy playing...
PAUSE
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me. Abbott: That’s it. Costello: That’s who?
Costello: I don’t know.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman’s name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Yes.
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: That’s who’s name?
Costello: I’m not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what’s the guy’s name in left field?
Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second.
Abbott: Who.
Abbott: That’s the man’s name.
Abbott: Who’s playing first.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Costello: There I go, back on third again!
Costello: I’m asking YOU who’s on first.
Costello: Then tell me who’s playing left field.
Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team? Abbott: Sure. Costello: The pitcher’s name? Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: Now who’s playing third base?
Costello: You don’t want to tell me today?
Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Abbott: I’m telling you now. Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott: No. What is on second base.
Costello: What am I putting on third.
Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second.
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: What time?
Abbott: Who’s on first.
Costello: You don’t want who on second?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Who is on first.
Abbott: Well, don’t change the players around.
Costello: I don’t know.
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I’m not changing nobody!
PAUSE
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Costello: I’m only asking you, who’s the guy on first base?
Abbott: Certainly.
Abbott: That’s right.
Costello: Who’s playing first?
Costello: Ok.
Abbott: That’s right.
Abbott: All right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott & Costello Together:Third base! PAUSE Costello: Look, you gotta outfield? Abbott: Sure.
Abbott: Tomorrow!
Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who’s pitching? Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching. Costello: I’ll break your arm, you say who’s on first! I want to know what’s the pitcher’s name? Abbott: What’s on second. Costello: I don’t know.
Costello: The left fielder’s name?
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
Abbott: Why.
PAUSE
PAUSE
Costello: I just thought I’d ask you.
Costello: Gotta a catcher?
Costello: What’s the guy’s name on first base?
Abbott: Well, I just thought I’d tell ya.
Abbott: Certainly. Costello: The catcher’s name?
Abbott: Today.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Costello: Today, and tomorrow’s pitching.
Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
Abbott: Now you’ve got it.
Costello: Naturally.
Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.
Abbott: That’s it.
PAUSE
Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don’t know! He’s on third and I don’t give a darn!
Costello: You know I’m a catcher too. Abbott: So they tell me. Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow’s pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I’m gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who? Abbott: Now that’s the first thing you’ve said right.
Abbott: What? Costello: I said I don’t give a darn! Abbott: Oh, that’s our shortstop.
Costello: I don’t even know what I’m talking about! PAUSE Abbott: That’s all you have to do. Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base. Abbott: Yes! Costello: Now who’s got it? Abbott: Naturally. PAUSE Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody’s gotta get it. Now who has it? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Who? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Naturally?
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally. Abbott: No you don’t, you throw the ball to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That’s different. Costello: That’s what I said. Abbott: You’re not saying it... Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott: You throw it to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That’s it. Costello: That’s what I said! Abbott: You ask me. Costello: I throw the ball to who? Abbott: Naturally.
COCKTAILS
Abbott: Naturally.
WATERSHED KITCHEN & BAR
FIND YOUR FAVORITE PLAYER ! A GUIDE TO OUR HOUSE COCKTAILS
2 1
5
REFRESHING Away
4
COMFORTING Home-Plate
SPRING TRAINING ADVENTUROUS Outfield
3 6 SPIRIT-FORWARD Cougars
8
9
7
No POS.
Cocktail
1
LF
Chin Music
2
CF
Shaddock Swizzle
3
RF
Peanuts & Crackerjacks
4
3B
Kickstart My Heart
5
SS
Golden Sombrero
6
2B
Alabaster Blast
7
1B
Daisy Cutter
8
P
The Splendid Splinter
9
C
Cool Papa
10 Mngr.
Money Pitch
WATERSHED KITCHEN & BAR
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MONEY PITCH
What was Babe Ruth’s top salary?
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THE SPLENDID SPLINTER
What is group of Wombats called?
A: A WIZARD
Nickname of Ted Williams of the Boston Red Sox. Regarded by many as one of the greatest baseball players of all time. Also know as “The Kid”, “Teddy Ballgame”, or “The Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived”.
BOLD REFRESHING CITRUS-FORWARD
INGREDIENTS : Bourbon, Aperol, Cherry Heering, Lemon, Cherry Bark Vanilla Bitters, Spiced Molé Sugar
A: $80,000/year
The Money Pitch is a pitch referred to by the Pitcher as their best, most un-hittable weapon in their repertoire. “Money” is also a reference to being the very best.
REFRESHING COMFORTING MELLOW FRUIT
INGREDIENTS : Vodka, Strawberry & Tomato Shrub, Lemon, Falernum, Peychaud’s Bitters
SPRING TRAINING
10
$
PEANUTS & CRACKERJACKS
10
$
KICKSTART MY HEART
INGREDIENTS : House Rum Blend, Pineapple, Cold Brew Coffee, Lime, Fernet-Branca One of the more popular walk-out songs throughout the league. We don’t have to explain the connection here do we?
TROPICAL REFRESHING EARTHY
Where do pencils go for Vacation?
Rhyme someting with the word “month.”
A: You Can’t
** CONTAINS NUTS
A: Pencil-vania
“Crackerjack is an adjective used to describe something that is exceptionally good. “Wow that Bartender there sure is a crackerjack!”
FAMILIAR ADVENTUROUS SPIRIT-FORWARD
INGREDIENTS : Cracker Jack Rye and Corn Whiskey Blend, Salted Peanut Syrup, Palo Cortado Sherry, Orange Oil
WATERSHED KITCHEN & BAR
11
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CHIN MUSIC
INGREDIENTS : Thyme 4 Peel Gin, White Miso Syrup, Aquafaba*, Dry Curacao, Dry Vermouth, Lemon, Orange Marmalade
How many teeth can a snail have?
9
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COOL PAPA
What is the fastest recorded speed of a human?
A: 27.8 MPH
James Thomas ‘Cool Papa’ Bell, was a Center Fielder in the NNL. He was largely considered the fastest man to have ever played the game. Put your rally cap on, this drinks as fast as Cool Papa himself.
FUN REFRESHING CITRUS-FORWARD
INGREDIENTS: Cucumber & Watermelon Shrub, Four Peel Gin, Bonal, Lager Style Beer, Lemon
A: up to 25,000
*Aquafaba is a vegan substitute for egg whites that provides rich texture without any additional aroma.
AROMATIC LUSH ADVENTUROUS
A pitched ball that comes close to the batter’s chin. Slide headfirst into the aromatics.
SPRING TRAINING
9
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DAISY CUTTER
INGREDIENTS : Pisco, Genepy des Alpes, Aperol, Lemon, Absinthe, Celery Shrub
EARTHY REFRESHING AROMATIC
A hard hit ground ball, one that comes close enough to the grass that it may lop the heads off of any daisies growing on the field.
A: 9,000 years!
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GOLDEN SOMBRERO
Many victories come after misfires. A Golden Sombrero is the feat of striking out four times in a single game. Hall of Famer Sammy Sosa earned this several times in his storied career. This cocktail went through 4 iterations before it was perfect, showing even the greats come from adaptation.
What is the only manmade object that is observable from the moon?
EARTHY BALANCED COOLING
INGREDIENTS: Reposado Tequila, VanillaSyrup, Lemon, Campari, Orange Marmalade
A:The Great Wall of China
How many years old is the world’s oldest piece of chewing gum?
WATERSHED KITCHEN & BAR
10
$
SHADDOCK SWIZZLE
* Fresh Orange Juice where the pH level has been lowered closer to that of Lemon Juice. Who is the only athlete ever to play in a Super Bowl and a World Series?
10
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ALABASTER BLAST
Who is the only member of ZZ Top who doesn’t have a beard?
A: Frank Beard
Pittsburgh Pirates announcer, Bob Prince’s term for a ball that is hit sharply down in front of the batter, which then bounces over the heads of the pitcher and the other infielders due to the hard infield at Forbes Field.
REFRESHING ADVENTUROUS SMOKY
INGREDIENTS: Mezcal, Chai Syrup, Lemon, Grapefruit, Italian Amaro
A: Deion Sanders
Pomelo is a large fruit that has been mistaken for Grapefruit, it was discovered by Captain Shaddock of the East India Company. It was he who introduced the fruit to Jamaica in 1696.
TROPICAL ADVENTUROUS FUN
INGREDIENTS : Jamaican Rum Blend, Charred Pomelo & Grapefruit Turmeric Cordial, Sour OJ*, East India Sherry, Jamaican Jerk Bitters, Cinnamon
SPRING TRAINING
CHARITY COCKTAIL! BENEFITS : FLYING HORSE FARMS Flying Horse Farms helps support families with children who have serious illnesses. They provide year-round camps for these brave kids and it is their mission to provide them with fulfilling and magical experiences, free of charge. A portion of this cocktail will go towards making each day memorable. Cheers! Learn more at: www.flyinghorsefarms.org
9
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MONEY PITCH
What was Babe Ruth’s top salary?
A: $80,000/year
The Money Pitch is a pitch referred to by the Pitcher as their best, most un-hittable weapon in their repertoire. “Money” is also a reference to being the very best.
REFRESHING COMFORTING MELLOW FRUIT
INGREDIENTS : Vodka, Strawberry & Tomato Shrub, Lemon, Falernum, Peychaud’s Bitters
WATERSHED KITCHEN & BAR
CLAS SICS & STA N D B Y S THE AWAY SQUAD
No
Cocktail
$
1
PISCO PUNCH Pisco, Pineapple Syrup, Lemon, Celery Bitters
9
2
EL DIABLO Tequila, Lime, Ginger Beer, Crème de Cassis
9
3
SAZERAC Rye, Turbinado, Peychaud’s, Absinthe
10
4
CLOVER CLUB Gin, Lemon, Raspberry, Dry Vermouth, Aquafaba
10
5
HANKY PANKY Bourbon Barrel Gin, Fernet, Sweet Vermouth, Orange Bitters
11
6
PIMM’S CUP Gin, Pimm’s No.1, Lemon, Ginger Syrup, Mint, House Accouterments
9
7
SHERRY COBBLER House Sherry Blend, Turbinado, Orange, Berries, Mint
9
8
50/50 Gin, Bianco Vermouth, House Accouterments
10
9
BLOOD & SAND Scotch, Orange Juice, Sweet Vermouth, Cherry Heering
10
10
1
WHITE NEGRONI Gin, Suze, Bianco Vermouth
10
11
2
CONFERENCE Bourbon, Rye, Calvados, Cognac, Turbinado, Angostura & Mole Bitters
10
12
3
PLAYA FORTUNA Bacardi Superior, Lime, Coconut Liqueur, Tartaric Acid
CLAS SICS & STA N D B Y S THE AWAY SQUAD
1 2 3
created by Wayne Collins created by Brian Miller, Death & Co, NYC created by Ryan Wainwright, Faith & Flower, LA - 2017 Bacardi Legacy USA winner
9
WATERSHED KITCHEN & BAR
I’ll Have What I’m Having! SEVENTH SON BEER
A L M O S T A LW AY S O N TA P
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4-6
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E SQUA IN TH D! O J COUGAR GEAR AVAILABLE IN OUR BOTTLE SHOP
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A GRANDVIEW TREASURE !! CHECK OUT OUR FARM TEAM! CLINTON TOWNSHIP
W O M B AT S
SPRING TRAINING
I’ll Have What I’m Having! We can handle that thanks to
ramblecoffee.com
ramblecoffee.com
NE E D A P IC K M E U P?
Our preferred roaster! Roasting small batches of single origin coffee in Worthington, Ohio.
GUESS WHAT THE COUGARS HAVE ON TAP? COUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! C A R E F U L L Y C R A F T E D A N D SOURCED AL L - N ATURAL M EN ’ S GROOMING P RODUC T S
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SERVING ICE COLD COUGAR FROM CINCY’S OWN Rhinegeist Brewery
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