Chicago-Maroon-10-02-16 by The Chicago Maroon

TUESDAY

VOICES

IN SPORTS

FOTA’s open mic night

Maroons keep pace

» Page 7

» Page 12

Hallowed Grounds gets a dose of student talent next Thursday.

Women’s basketball takes two on the road to stay within reach of UAA Championship.

FEBRUARY 16, 2010

CHICAGO

AROON

VOLUME 121 ISSUE 27

CHICAGOMAROON.COM

The student newspaper of the University of Chicago since 1892

STUDENT LIFE

Folksy foursome

Government will oversee U of C student loans Private banks seen as less reliable lenders after credit crisis By Burke Frank Associate News Editor

he James King Band, a Bluegrass band from south Virginia, opened the 50th Annual University of Chicago Folk Festival last Friday in Mandel Hall. CAMILLE VAN HORNE/MAROON

FACULTY

E-mails in Scrolls case may implicate prof Prosecutors trying a University of Chicago professor’s son, who allegedly cyber-bullied multiple academics who disagreed with his father, released documents to a New York court last month that could implicate the professor in the crime. Raphael Golb, 49, faces 51 criminal charges of identity theft, criminal impersonation, harassment, and unauthorized use of computers.

He is the son of Oriental Institute Professor Norman Golb. Raphael allegedly targeted and harassed intellectuals who disputed his father’s theory that the Dead Sea Scrolls originate in Jerusalem, rather than in Qumran, where the Scrolls were found. He allegedly harassed scholars by disseminating false accusations about them in public blogs and through e-mails to their friends and colleagues. The prosecution wrote that this allegation is supported by e-mails to other members of the family, including Dr. Golb, in a

DISCOURSE

HYDE PARK

By Ilana Kowarski News Staff

Obama not as different from Bush as he seems, law professor says By Kelly Zhang News Contributor Despite the perception of widespread policy changes between Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama, there has been little change in the state of American civil liberties, Professor of Law Aziz Huq said Wednesday at a campus ACLU–sponsored event. Over 30,000 aliens were detained by the Bush Administration after 9/11, Huq said, many the victims of police tips, in which “citizens would call police after seeing two Arab men talk at a gas station.” Th e O b a m a a d m i n i s t r a t i o n continued detaining and deporting non-citizens with little evidence of wrongdoing, Huq said. He is working on the case of an immigrant from Uzbekistan who faces deportation because videos of the Czech

ACLU continued on page 3

January 19 pre-trial motion. The e-mails include exchanges between accounts that purportedly belong to Raphael and family members, leading some—such as alleged victim Dr. Robert Cardiff—to believe that Dr. Golb and his family were engaged in a conspiracy. “The smear campaign was a Golb family affair!” Cardiff wrote in a January 28 blog post. Dr. Golb is not quoted in any of the released e-mails. “There is e-mail correspondence between Raphael

GOLB continued on page 3

Students will soon receive their federally subsidized loans directly from the government rather than through banks and credit unions, according to a University press release Monday. The University will move to the Federal Direct Student Loan Program (FDSLP) for loans this summer, as many private lenders pull out of the Federal Family Education Loan program (FFELP) that the University has used in the past. Interest rates for students receiving federally subsidized Stafford loans will not change and interest rates for PLUS loans will go down, according to the press release. “This will mean a guaranteed stable source of loan funds for the foreseeable future,” said Scott Sudduth, a congressional lobbyist for the University. “One of the problems with the recession is that private lenders are getting out of the business of providing student loans.” Sudduth said that under FDSLP, some of the roles that private lenders now play in advising students would fall to University financial aid offices. “There are extensive personnel and expertise devoted to financial aid to begin with,” Sudduth said. “I don’t think this will be a tremendously different burden on administrators.” Banks, credit unions, and other private lenders have backed out

of the FFELP program in recent years due to the credit crisis, including Bank of America and U.S. Bank in December. Students receiving loans from these banks have had to scramble to find a new source of funding. The University currently participates in FFELP, the largest university loan program in the country, in which the federal government partially subsidizes private lenders to issue loans to students and guarantees repayment to lenders if students default on the loans. Sudduth said University students currently receive $130 million annually in federal financial aid, most of which comes in the form of subsidized loans through private lenders. The F D S LP program issues Stafford and PLUS loans directly to students, without a federally subsidized private intermediary. Students cannot participate in F DS LP if they attend a University that uses FFELP. Once the University makes the transition, students already receiving FFELP loans will have to sign new master promissory notes through their Office of College Aid, but the change will not affect the terms of their loans. Congress is considering legislation that would end federal subsidies to private lenders this summer, effectively making direct federal loans the only option for students and universities. In April, President Obama proposed allowing FFELP to expire, and using the subsidy money to fund more Pell grants and

STUDENT LOANS continued on page 3

Two sites proposed for Lab School addition By Asher Klein News Editor The University unveiled two proposals Thursday for an Early Childhood Center (ECC), to be built by the Lab Schools by 2013. The plans call for an early education– specific building to be constructed on the school’s current campus at 59th Street and Dorchester Avenue or on the site of the Doctors Hospital, at 58th Street and Stony Island Avenue. University officials, architects from firms FGM and VDTA, Fifth Ward Alderman Leslie Hairston, and Lab School Director David McGill spoke to an audience of around 80 in the Lab Schools’ Judd Hall. Lab Schools have an obligation to accept a certain number of Universityaffiliated children, but historically, they are balanced by an equal number of unaffiliated students. McGill said the ECC project is part of a larger Lab expansion aimed at rectifying a growing disparity between those groups,

which ratio he placed at 65-to-35. “It is really squeezing out the neighborhood children, and that has not been the tradition of the Lab School,” McGill said. The expansion would make Lab the fifth-largest independent school in the nation, McGill said, with 650 students in the ECC (from kindergarten to second grade) and 1,400 from grades 3–12. The ECC would be a well lit, large space, McGill said, with easy access outdoors no matter where it is built. “Children learn best when they are extremely engaged in their learning,” he said. McGill outlined the pros and cons of each site. Building the ECC on the Doctors Hospital site would allow for an airier building and more room for parking, but would split Lab into two campuses, on either side of the METRA track. To address this, the school may bus students from one site to the other to prevent families with children in each

A concept rendering of the Early Childhood Center, proposed for 2013. COURTESY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO LABORATORY SCHOOLS

from having to travel across Hyde Park. An ECC on the current Lab Schools site wouldn’t require busing, but either the tennis courts or soccer field would need to be bulldozed to make room, and the architects said the building

would be more constricted. But Economics Professor John Cochrane and Hyde Park blogger Elizabeth Fama, Lab parents, asked at the meeting whether moving or remov-

DOCTORS HOSPITAL continued on page 3

CHICAGO MAROON | NEWS | February 16, 2010

Uncommon Interview:

A former Tribune and Miami Herald reporter, Sara Olkon is currently a news officer for the University. Olkon has had an extensive career in journalism. CAMILLE VAN HORNE/MAROON

WITH

» Sara Olkon

ara Olkon was embedded with the Air Force and Marines during Operation Iraqi Freedom and hung out with the guys from Hoop Dreams 14 years after their dreams fizzled out. She has reported everywhere from Iraq and India to the South Side of Chicago as a writer for The Miami Herald and the Chicago Tribune. Olkon started work at the University’s News Office January 25 as their newest reporter, covering campus and student life. In an e-mail, News Director Jeremy Manier said, “Sara’s varied reporting background and outlook make her an ideal person to find those campus stories that we might have overlooked otherwise.” The MAROON sat down with her to discuss the news cycle, news reporting, and, well, the news.

CHICAGO MAROON: You interned for The New York Times’s Op-ed page when you were in journalism school. What was that like? Sara Olkon: You’d be in the lunch room and overhear these conversations about people analyzing the current foreign ministry of the Israeli government. It was exciting to be in that world, and it reminded me of being back in school. I really loved school, and it really felt like being in that stimulating world again… . One thing I learned quickly was that [when] people—general folks off the street, not Henry Kissingers, but the general folks off the street— would react to something, they would write a really poignant essay on something, but it would be so past the news cycle [that it couldn’t be published]. That was probably one of the first lessons in how quick you need to be to be timely with the news and…how quickly the newspaper moves. And this is before it really moved quickly. CM: You worked a desk job at The Wall Street Journal, where you did a little finance writing, but when did you really start reporting? SO: At The Providence Journal—getting sent out, going to meetings. I just didn’t have that experience [at The Wall Street Journal]. It was real street reporting. I think on my third day on the job, I had to go to a family’s house—this teenager had died in a car accident or something horrible. That never ever gets easy, but

it was one of those experiences that’s hard to avoid. It’s pretty central at a daily newspaper. You don’t know whether or not the family is going to want to talk at that point. Later on in life you see that sometimes families want to talk because they want to see a tribute, they want to see something, but at that time all you can think of is, “I do not belong here, I do not belong at someone’s doorstep at the worst moment of their lives.” You get this tremendous sense of invading someone’s privacy. CM: What was working at The Miami Herald like? SO: There was never a shortage of stories. You never had to feel that some amazing story happened and you were out of town or something, and you missed the story of the year. There was too much. There was an embarrassment of riches, constantly. Just a very dramatic, weird, weird place. One day a pitcher would be pulled over [because] he was picking up prostitutes and that wasn’t even a story… . I interviewed Elian Gonzalez. I knew his family really well. Well, not really well, but I was at the house constantly. I went to Cuba a few times. CM: What was it like being embedded in Iraq? SO: Your paper’s spending all this money—you definitely feel this pressure to get stories. In the beginning, we were getting good stories right away. It sounds really twisted, getting good

stories [because] we were being attacked, because we were at this Air Force base and there were what they said were SCUD missiles. They weren’t, but we thought they were. We were attacked 13 times in one day. You’d get this red alert, and you’d just be sitting there and suddenly you’d put on your chemical gear, and you’d have to be really quick and then get into one of the shelters… . The first time it happened, a lot of people were upset, of course. There were tears flowing out of my eyes and underneath my gas mask, and I thought, “What am I doing? This is so stupid, I’m going to die in Kuwait for this ambition of mine,” and I felt guilty for my family. I felt bad about it. It wasn’t even so much the fear of dying; it just felt very selfish, being there. I didn’t need to be there, it’s not like I was paying off a debt to the military; I chose to be there.

and there was a lot of camaraderie with the soldiers, and I had mixed feelings.

CM: What did you do when you came home?

SO: [At a daily newspaper] you’re just filing from your Blackberry, or, before Blackberry, from the phone. So whatever you do, there’s not a lot of time for reflection. It’s definitely different, a little more thoughtful. And in many ways, the jobs are similar. I am looking for interesting stories, developing sources, and am working against deadlines. So far, my days have been busy, but not nearly as frantic. I’m less reliant on peanut M&Ms and Starbucks than I ever thought possible.

SO: I took a shower for like three hours. There was dirt deep in my ears. But I see how people get addicted: it’s a real rush, a lot of adrenaline. I would file things by satellite phone and hook it up by computer, and the sand would hurt the computer and it wouldn’t work. You have to be really careful with satellite phones because they can be traced by the other side. It was really difficult conditions and you really didn’t sleep, and I sensed it was nice to just relax, and [yet] it was also really intense

CM: How was it working in the newspaper industry as papers were closing across the country? SO: This is a job you do because you love it; you’re getting paid with your experiences. When it becomes less fun, it becomes less rewarding. I think that there were ups and downs with all of the places [where I worked]. The real down wasn’t so much coming from the institution itself, but the market forces, and different papers responded at different times. That was the thing that became very frustrating, and heart-breaking, really. CM: How is working for the University different from working in a newsroom, like at the Trib?

—Asher Klein

2010 Student Leader Awards Help the University recognize the amazing contributions made by students on our campus this year. Nominate students for Student Leader Awards. Howell Murray Alumni Association Award Campus Life and Leadership Award Jane Morton and Henry C. Murphy Award Maroon Key Society College Outstanding New Leader Award President’s Volunteer Service Award Perry Herst Prize Humanitarian Award Bridge Builder Award Unsung Hero Award

To find more information about award qualifications and to nominate students visit

https://studentleaderawards.uchicago.edu Nominations are due by Wednesday, March 10th at 5:00 pm

CHICAGO MAROON | NEWS | February 16, 2010

Golb denies wrongdoing, says court case grew out of scholarly dispute

Neighbors say latest hospital site proposal more transparent

GOLB continued from front page

DOCTORS HOSPITAL continued from front page

Golb’s alias accounts and Dr. Golb; however, it never overtly acknowledges a partnership,” District Attorney John Bandler wrote in the motion. “However, Raphael Golb’s alias accounts have forwarded to Dr. Norman Golb e-mail exchanges that the alias account (or another alias account) had with third parties.” Dr. Golb wrote in a statement Friday that the evidence does not prove his involvement, and, in a brief interview Friday, Dr. Golb suggested Cardiff had taken issue with a sour turn in a scholarly debate, leading to the court case. “As the consequence of a long-standing academic dispute, a campaign of personal attacks is now being waged against me and my family. Claimed ‘evidence’ is being grossly distorted for unworthy purposes and removed from context,” Dr. Golb wrote in the statement. “It is perfectly normal for any academic family to express indignation in the case of its members being silenced, excluded, and misrepresented or, to all appearances, plagiarized. In the present case, fair-minded people with knowledge of the circumstances will quite readily come to understand who the victims and the victimizers are.” Cardiff, who renewed an order of protection against Raphael on January 27, said the alleged crimes are examples of academic rivalry gone too far.

“A little professional jealousy can be a powerful motivator for scholars, encouraging them to focus on their work and produce new and better scholarship. However, when this jealousy, greed, or malice reaches a point where an individual is furtively, yet tenaciously and ubiquitously attempting to smear another scholar to the extent that Raphael Golb and perhaps members of his family are alleged to have done, it runs the danger of crossing into civilly actionable and even criminally actionable activity,” Cardiff said in an e-mail interview. The court documents allege Raphael sent e-mails to his brother and mother from alias accounts, including one dated July 24, 2008, that says, “By the way, if Dad has some comment on the latest Charles Gadda [an alleged alias of Raphael’s] exchange, he can send it through your e-mail, that way there would be no trace of it in his account.” Neither Dr. Golb, his wife, nor his son Joel has been charged with a crime. Defense lawyers Ronald Kuby, Lea Spiess, and David Breitbart wrote in a January 26 memo that the e-mails are protected speech under the First Amendment. “The prosecution seems unable or unwilling to realize that the First Amendment protects the right of persons to criticize, attack, and campaign against the character, writings, and purported scholarship of others, even in strong, bitter language.”

rebellion were stored on a computer he had access to. “Bush era regulations that allowed those sweeps are still in the boat,” Huq said. Obama has even signed into law provisions that make such prosecutions easier, Huq said. Bush was accused of not obtaining proper warrants under the Federal Intelligence

U of C lobbyist says Congress hinted at end of private student lending STUDENT LOANS continued from front page

Obama eliminated need for individual warrants, prof says ACLU continued from front page

ing the soccer field would be the easiest way to allow the ECC room it needed; demolition of the Doctors Hospital will be costly and is estimated to take three more months than the fields. Community activist Jack Spicer agreed. “Wouldn’t you rather be busing kids to a soccer game once and a while...rather than busing little kids over to another site every day during the school year?” Spicer said in an interview. He also attended the meeting. The Doctors Hospital is architecturally significant, and if that site were chosen, the new building might reflect the Hospital’s aesthetic up to a point, FGM spokesman Joe Chronister said, but the demands of an ECC-dedicated space make that difficult. “The issue is that what we’re looking for is a low, wide building, and what we have with the existing building is a tall, narrow building,” Chronister said. While the audience expressed some concerns, especially over parking availability and how families will adjust to bringing children to two different campuses should the Doctors Hospital plan go through, most used a Q&A period to remark on how open the process has been. The University came under fire two years

Surveillance Act, but Obama approved the removal of a section requiring those individual warrants. “The same kind of thing is going on with Obama’s blessing,” Huq said. Huq also pointed to the continued operation of Guantanamo Bay Detention Center, a mainstay of the Bush era that Obama promised to close over a year ago.

ago for pushing the development of a hotel on the Doctors Hospital site, which community members staunchly opposed. Vice President for Civic Engagement Arnold Randall told the audience that this was the first of many talks the University would hold on the ECC’s development, a strategy that arose out of mistakes in how the dispute over the Doctors Hospital was handled. “There was not enough communication, not enough transparency,” Randall said. “There were lots of ways for things to go better, and this is one of them.” Robert Norton, who lives in the building just south of Doctors Hospital, said, “I’m very grateful for the open words about missed opportunities and communication with the neighborhood.” Spicer said the meeting was fairly run, although he said it seemed the University had made up its mind to develop the Doctors Hospital site, despite protests to the contrary. Spicer was mildly surprised that the audience did not probe deeper into the presentation, however. “It was a very moderately attended meeting and the tone was very businesslike,” Spicer said. “[The University was] clearly trying to make a quieter, more controlled community conversation, and I think they did so.”

expand the FDSLP. FFELP supporters argue that using third-party private lenders leads to higher administrative costs and greater risk to students. “Congress was sending strong signals to the higher education community that they weren’t going to renew that guarantee,” Sudduth said, referring to the financial backing of private lenders under the FFELP. “The federal government has been encouraging institutions to

prepare to move to direct lending.” Critics of the change have argued that the costs associated with private lenders include individual financial counseling to students, and that without such support students might be more likely to default on loans. But Sudduth pointed out that administrators in the Office of Financial Aid will provide support to students. “The level of counseling and assistance that they receive will not change,” he said.

Are You Considering a Career in Health?

A New Mandate for Human Rights:

Consider the advantages of earning a

Master of Public Health (MPH) degree at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

Why a Half Century of Human Rights Activism and International Development Is Failing the Poor and What Can Be Done about It

Gary Haugen, JD ’91 President and CEO of the International Justice Mission

Thursday, February 18, 2010 4:00 p.m. Weymouth Kirkland Courtroom s University of Chicago Law School 1111 East 60th Street s Chicago, IL 60637 Reception Following This event is free and open to the public. No response is required but seating is limited. For special assistance or needs, please contact Rebecca Klaff at 773.834.4326 or rklaff@law.uchicago.edu.

The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign is offering an exciting opportunity to become a public health professional specializing in the prevention and control of disease, particularly chronic disease. Health and health-related industries are among the fastestgrowing in the nation, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, and those holding Master of Public Health degrees are needed in a wide variety of health careers. Our MPH degree provides intensive education and training in public health approaches to prevention. Applications are now being accepted for the MPH program’s Fall 2010 semester. For more information, visit our website:

www.mph.illinois.edu

CHICAGO MAROON

| VIEWPOINTS | February 16, 2010

VIEWPOINTS

EDITORIAL & OP-ED FEBRUARY 16, 2010

EDITORIAL

Build it and they will come CHICAGO MAROON

The student newspaper of the University of Chicago since 1892

SUPRIYA SINHABABU, Editor-in-Chief TOM TIAN, Managing Editor MICHAEL LIPKIN, News Editor ASHER KLEIN, News Editor EVAN COREN, Viewpoints Editor HAYLEY LAMBERSON, Voices Editor BEN SIGRIST, Voices Editor JAKE GRUBMAN, Sports Editor JORDAN HOLLIDAY, Sports Editor BEN ROSSI, Editorial Board Member EMILY KAISER, Editorial Board Member ANDREW THORNTON, Ed. Board Member

Administration should convert Reynolds Club theater to late-night diner For all the incredible resources available here, the University lacks one of the most basic components of student life: a vibrant student center, a beacon of social interaction that remains open at nearly all hours. The construction of the Logan Arts Center provides a unique opportunity to ameliorate the condition of social life on campus. Since the Logan Arts Center will house rehearsal areas, a black-box theater, a proscenium venue, a 450-seat performance venue, and outdoor performance areas, now is the time to think about converting the theaters on the first and third floor in the Reynolds Club into socializing

venues. With the goal of creating a real campus hangout, one of these theaters should be converted into a late-night diner. Although Hutch and the C-Shop ostensibly serve students’ brunch needs, there is a significant dearth of late -night and earlymorning dining and socializing options on campus and in Hyde Park. Allocating space for common forms of enjoyment in the Reynolds Club during these hours would increase contact among students and ultimately build a tighter-knit community. Although there are many different ideas of fun at the U of C, an appealing

venue for social interactions would brighten students’ lives whether or not they choose to make their social experiences “uncommon.” According to vice president of campus life Kim Goff-Crews, some spaces in the Reynolds Club will continue to be used for theater productions, but this summer the administration plans to review the continued need for such arts spaces. She said the administration will ensure students have “ample opportunities for involvement in the decision-making process.” As the administration considers ways to modify campus geography

to improve student life, it should make the creation of a lively student center a priority. The central location, the Reynolds Club, already exists, and some of its facilities will likely soon be ready to open up to other uses. Students have gone without a real student center for too long. A revitalized Reynolds Club might just let you wear your “where fun comes to die” T-shirt with genuine irony.

fire everywhere and crazy dancers in bodysuits everywhere and a big sign that says “THE FAME FACTORY.” He starts dramatizing into a microphone: “You see, the real Gaga comes complete with five number-one singles! And the best part is—she has her own pogo stick! And she has no soul.” This cues some manic laughter, and then the sudden appearance of the prophesied Lady Gaga in an upside-down Tinker Bell costume, the sort of outfit that I believe conclusively disproves any conjectures that she might really be a man. Then Gaga sings a little bit of “Poker Face,” before the bow-tie guy goes all Crucible on her, and yells, in a strangely soothing voice, about how “Everyone’s going goo-goo for Gaga!” At this point, one of her male dancers “drags” her up into this thing that looks like a giant, flaming

wood chipper and throws her in, all the while with the announcer shouting “SHE’S A MONSTER! SHE’S A MONSTER! And she’s turning all of you…into monsters!” After a second of grinding silence, a couple of doors open, and there she is, safe and sound with Sir Elton John, rocking out a piano power ballad. This performance did indeed make me feel like Lady Gaga is turning me into a monster, because it made me realize that I’m dangerously close to liking both her music and her bizarre stage persona genuinely, rather than ironically. It’s one thing for “Bad Romance” to get stuck in your head, and for you to play it on repeat to exorcise it. It’s a completely different thing to embrace the music, to admire the audacity of its singer, and to regard the whole package with something approaching awe.

ancestors accepted Christianity in the first century AD, specifically have been targeted. In Dora and Northern Iraq, Assyrians of all ages and genders have been kidnapped, beheaded, and, most tellingly, crucified. Despite the involvement of Sunnis, Shiites, and Kurds (and even one powerless Assyrian) in the Iraqi parliament, it is clear that many Iraqis, as well as foreign fighters, are unwilling to accept ethnic and religious pluralism and equal enfranchisement as the future of Iraq. The extent of anti-Assyrian perse-

cution is conveyed by the disproportionate representation of Assyrians among the Iraqi refugee population. While Assyrians constituted roughly 3 to 5 percent of the prewar Iraqi population, they now make up over 30 percent of refugees in surrounding nations. In Syria, Assyrians account for nearly 40 percent of Iraqi refugees. Throughout Iraq, more than half of the Assyrian population have fled since 2003. Many refugees in Jordan, Syria, and Turkey are barred from seeking employment.

— The MAROON Editorial Board consists of the Editor-in-Chief, Viewpoints Editors, and three Editorial Board members.

DANI BRECHER, Head Copy Editor ERIC GUO, Photo Editor CAMILLE VAN HORNE, Photo Editor

OP-ED

HEATHER LEWIS, Head Designer ABRAHAM NEBEN, Web Editor BURKE FRANK, Associate News Editor LIAT SPIRO, Associate Viewpoints Editor RYAN TRYZBIAK, Associate Sports Editor JUDY MARCINIAK, Business Manager JAY BROOKS, Business Director

Goo-goo for Gaga Lady Gaga’s stage persona is both ridiculous and redemptive

JACK DiMASSIMO, Designer ANDREW GREEN, Designer IVY PEREZ, Designer CHRISTINA SCHWARTZ, Designer

By Alison Howard Viewpoints Columnist

JESSICA SHEFT-ASON, Designer NAKUL SINGH, Designer MATT TYNDALE, Designer ANNA AKERS-PECHT, Copy Editor JORDAN FRANKLIN, Copy Editor DANIELLE GLAZER, Copy Editor VICTORIA KRAFT, Copy Editor MONIKA LAGAARD, Copy Editor HOLLY LAWSON, Copy Editor LAUREN LARSON, Copy Editor MIRANDA LI, Copy Editor LAUREN MAKHOLM, Copy Editor ALEX WARBURTON, Copy Editor LILY YE, Copy Editor WENJIA DOREEN ZHAO, Copy Editor

The CHICAGO MAROON is published twice weekly during autumn, winter, and spring quarters. Circulation: 6,500 The opinions expressed in the Viewpoints section are not necessarily those of the MAROON.

SUBMISSIONS The CHICAGO MAROON welcomes opinions and responses from its readers. Send op-ed submissions and letters to: Viewpoints CHICAGO MAROON 1212 East 59th Street Chicago, IL 60637 E-mail: viewpoints@chicagomaroon.com The editors reserve the right to edit materials for clarity and space. Letters to the editor should be limited to 400 words. Op-ed submissions, 800 words.

CONTACT News: news@chicagomaroon.com Viewpoints: viewpoints@chicagomaroon.com Voices: voices@chicagomaroon.com Sports: sports@chicagomaroon.com Photography: photo@chicagomaroon.com Design: design@chicagomaroon.com Copy Editing: copy@chicagomaroon.com Advertising: jmarcini@uchicago.edu

I always seem to forget about the awards shows I’ve planned on watching. But it’s going to take me a while to forgive myself for forgetting the Grammys, because it means I had to settle for a scratchy, sevenminute YouTube video of Lady Gaga and Elton John’s duet instead of the original, better quality airing. That’s right. Lady Gaga and Elton John, cranking out some tunes, blindfolded by their sparkly sunglasses that completely incapacitate their vision, on adjoining grand pianos. You have no idea how thrilled I am by the existence of this performance. Now, my excitement about Lady Gaga and the sweet music she makes with Elton John might not make sense if you’ve never heard of Lady Gaga. This seems unlikely,

but it is possible. Here are some factoids that you might find relevant in understanding her: She’s a recording artist. She sees herself as a genuine artist, Andy-Warhol style. She never lip-synchs. Wikipedia says she got made fun of in high school. Also, she wears a thong and a polar bear (at the same time!) in her “Bad Romance” music video. Obviously, my personal knowledge of L ady Gaga folklore is sketchy, at best. So maybe the aforementioned scratchy, seven-minute YouTube video (just Google “Lady Gaga Elton John”) might be the best way to get to know her. After all, as her own performance, it shows her exactly the way she wants to be seen. It starts off with this snazzy guy in a bow tie using his best announcer voice to get the crowd all ready for the awesomeness to come. There’s

GAGA continued on page 5

OP-ED

Nightmare in Nineveh Iraqi Assyrians have faced rampant persecution since 2003

By Liat Spiro Viewpoints Contributor Among other ancient Near Eastern treasures, the Oriental Institute (OI) houses a towering lamassu, or Assyrian winged bull. With human faces, eagle wings, and bull hooves, lamassu are the symbolic protectors of the Assyrian people. In 2010 (or 6759 for the Assyrians), the Assyrian people need more protecting than ever. While the OI has worked with international authorities to successfully protect and recover Assyrian

artifacts during the current turmoil in Iraq, the modern-day descendents of this ancient civilization are facing extinction. Although it is not the OI’s role to intervene on behalf of people, the current situation demands a campus-wide response The Assyrian language (Syriac/ Aramaic) and culture are dangerously close to annihilation, along with those who speak and practice them. This is not an unfortunate but inevitable side effect of the general destabilization of Iraq since Saddam’s fall; Assyrians, whose

IRAQ continued on page 5

CHICAGO MAROON

| VIEWPOINTS | February 16, 2010

Cooperation between U of C community and Chicago-based Assyrian organizations is needed to address crisis IRAQ continued from page 4 Unless they succeed in the political battle to secure an autonomous region in the Nineveh Plain, emigration out of the Middle Eastâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;their ancestral homelandâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is their only remaining option. Many are attempting to immigrate to the United States, but legislation denies them asylum. For example, the Patriot Act bans anyone who has given any money to terrorists, no matter the circumstances, from entering the United States. The United Nations estimates that more than half of Assyrian refugees have had close relatives kidnapped and ransomed by terrorists. To avoid losing parents, children, and siblings, Assyrian individuals have paid upwards of $100,000 each in ransom. And now, thousands of them cannot escape destitute poverty in refugee camps and ethnic cleansing within Iraq, at least by entering the United States. On top of the so-called â&#x20AC;&#x153;having aided and abetted terroristsâ&#x20AC;? barrier, the U.S. government has restricted emigration from Iraq to fewer than twenty thousand individuals per year. This means that of the nearly one million refugees in surrounding nations, the hundreds of thousands who remain eligible are vying for far too few spots. Without outside intervention, survival looks bleak for the Assyrian people. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s where Chicago comes in. Through waves of ethnic cleansing and mass migration in the twentieth century, a large Assyrian population in diaspora has developed. One of this communityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s population epicenters is Chicago. Accordingly, Chicago is home to numerous political advocacy organizations

including the Assyrian Universal Alliance, the Assyrian Democratic Movement, the Assyrian American National Federation, the Assyrian American National Council, and the Assyrian Aid Society. Yet, due to some past failures to make a meaningful connection with the OI, as well as Assyrian organizationsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; inability to reach outside of the community for support, none of these groups has attempted to engage the U of C in stopping genocide.

The topic of Assyrian genocide is no doubt politically, ethnically, religiously, and historically charged; however, this is no excuse for inaction.

Some humanitarian crises lack reliable, uncorrupt organizations to alleviate them. But the Assyrians are much more than helpless victims. Although traveling in northern Iraq is often dangerous, they have established a few lines of communication and aid into Assyrian villages and quarters. Their ability to help in refugee camps in surrounding nations is more robust. But thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still not saying much. This May, dozens of U of C students will participate in Relay for Life. Recently, the response to the earthquakes in Haiti has been impressive. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to stand up and confront

>C0:7A6 G=C@ >3@A=</: 3AA/G 7< 5@3G 17BG

Gagaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s elaborate charades border on sincerity an unequivocally unnatural crisis. The topic of Assyrian genocide is no doubt politically, ethnically, religiously, and historically charged; however, this is no excuse for inaction. Why not help this little-known crisis gain the recognition and response its victims so direly need? Halfway around the world, University of Chicago students and faculty are well situated to protect these hundreds of thousands of individuals, their cultural heritage, and, ultimately, Iraqâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s future as a diverse society. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re an undergraduate, petition the State Department and contribute to local Assyrian organizationsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; relief efforts. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a law student, examine and confront the state of U.S. immigration statutes, Iraqâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s legislation, or the application of the international human rights regime. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a public policy or political science student, consider the implications of growing radicalism and homogeneity in Iraq. A brief examination of Middle Eastern history shows that losing ethnic and religious minorities, the upper and middle classes, and other forces of moderation can be disastrous. To reverse the tide, we must actively support the establishment of an autonomous zone for the Assyrian people of Iraq. As Assyrians face pervasive ethnic cleansing for the third time in a century, their ancestorsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; majestic lamassu stands silent in the OI. Will we? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Liat Spiro is a second-year in the College majoring in International Studies.

GAGA continued from page 4 But as I figure this out for myself, I also realize that my excitement about Lady Gaga might not make sense even if you do know who she is. Maybe this is a cop-out to say this, a simple regurgitation of the Gaga propaganda so blatantly on display in instances like her Grammy performance, but she is a monster, a singing, dancing monster. Nobody acts like her, not in real life, where people are people, and if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re monstrous, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something ugly on the inside. She invites us to stare at her, she doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hide anything, and sometimes she sings something thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pretty catchy too. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a definite transparency about her shtick, a transparency that borders on honesty. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never more obvious that she is completely self-motivated, that the whole charade is fake, as when sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s getting dragged to her imminent demise during this epic Grammy performance. At a certain point, she breaks free of the man dragging her, and starts running on her own up the stairs toward the flaming wood chipper. Lady Gaga orchestrated the whole thing, down to the moment of utter triumph when Elton John modifies â&#x20AC;&#x153;Your Songâ&#x20AC;? to say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;How wonderful life is with Gaga in the world.â&#x20AC;? She has truly wrung herself through the wood chipper of a fame factory, and come out on top. Well, not on top, but certainly on a grand piano bench opposite Sir Elton John. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a pretty exciting concept, at the very least. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Alison Howard is a second-year in the College.

23/2:7<3( ESR\SaROg 4SP`cO`g "bV 4]` []`S W\T]`[ObW]\ ]` b] S [OWZ g]c` acP[WaaW]\ Q]\bOQb U`SgQWbgSaaOga.U[OWZ Q][

Second prize $500

Announcing

Spring 2010 Courses in the Big Problems Capstone Curriculum for juniors and seniors

â&#x20AC;&#x153;WHAT DO THE GENOMES TEACH US ABOUT EVOLUTION?â&#x20AC;? BPRO 29100, BIOS 29319

Manyuan Long (Ecology & Evolution) & James Shapiro (Biochemistry & Molecular Biology)

"WHAT IS ENLIGHTENMENT?" BPRO 28100, HUMA 28109, RLST 23403

Margot Browning (Humanities) & Sonam Kachru (Philosophy of Religions)

For more information, please see:

www.lib.uchicago.edu/e/crerar/crerar-prize Submission deadline: April 5, 2010

http://collegecatalog.uchicago.edu/other/interopp/index.shtml (click on â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Big Problemsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;)

The Big Problems curriculum addresses matters of global or universal concern that intersect with several disciplines and affect a variety of interest groups. http://bigproblems.uchicago.edu

b i g p r o b l e m s

First Prize $1500

CHICAGO MAROON | ADVERTISEMENTS | February 9, 2010

Lessons from the Global Financial Crisis A conversation with

HENRY M. PAULSON, JR. 74th Secretary of the United States Treasury and author of On The Brink: Inside the Race to Stop the Collapse of the Global Financial System moderated by

RAGHURAM G. RAJAN Eric J. Gleacher Distinguished Service Professor of Finance, Chicago Booth

February 23, 2010 2:00-3:15 p.m. Max Palevsky Cinema University ID Required for Admission Seating begins at 1:30 p.m.

BASED ON A TRUE STORY.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;

TREMENDOUS!

â&#x20AC;?

POWERFUL & RIVETING! ENTERTAINING! â&#x20AC;&#x153;

MOVING IMPORTANT A FILM BASED ON AN TRUE STORY.â&#x20AC;? -MOVIEWEB

PALADIN AND REAL FOLK PRODUCTIONS PRESENT A FILM BY JEB STUART â&#x20AC;&#x153;BLOOD DONE SIGN MY NAMEâ&#x20AC;? RICKY SCHRODER NATE PARKER NICK SEARCY LELA ROCHON AFEMO OMILAMI DARRIN DEWITT HENSON WITH MICHAEL ROOKER CASTING BY CRAIG, LISA MAE & MARK FINCANNON C.S.A. MUSIC COSTUME BY JOHN LEFTWICH DESIGNER MARY MALIN PRODUCTION EDITOR TOBY YATES DESIGNER SANDY VENEZIANO DIRECTOR OF CO-PRODUCPHOTOGRAPHY STEVE MASON, A .S.C ., A .C .S. ERS RICHARD KING PRODUCED DAVID MARTIN BY MARI STUART MEL EFROS JEB STUART AND DIRECTED BY JEB STUART ROBERT K. STEEL THEBASEDBOOKUPONBY TIM TYSON WRITTEN

This exhibition is organized by the National Gallery of Art, Washington, DC. Anders Zorn, An Irish Girl (detail), 1894, Etching. National Gallery of Art, Washington, Rosenwald Collection.

NO ONE CHANGES THE WORLD ALONE.

THE DARKER SIDE OF LIGHT ARTS OF PRIVACY, â&#x20AC;&#x201C; On view through June 13 smartmuseum.uchicago.edu/darkersideof light

AN INTENSE SCENE OF VIOLENCE, THEMATIC MATERIAL INVOLVING RACISM, AND FOR LANGUAGE.

BloodDoneSignMyNameTheMovie.com

IN THEATRES FEBRUARY 19

SMART MUSEUM OF ART UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO 5550 South Greenwood Avenue | Chicago, Illinois 60637 | http://smartmuseum.uchicago.edu

CHICAGO CHICAGOMAROON MAROON| |VOICES VOICES| |November February 16, 20,2010 2009

VOICES

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT FEBRUARY 16, 2010

CAMPUS

Fiddlin' fingers

Awaiting brave students, FOTA's mic stands open By Jessen O'Brien Voices Stage Fright

d Poullard of Les Amis Creole pauses to talk to the audience at the 50th Annual University of Chicago Folk Festival. Les Amis Creole took the stage on Saturday night of the three-day festival. ERIC GUO/MAROON

THEATER

When The Ring and Monty Python collide: The Greatest Porno, EVER!! By Blair Thornburgh Voices Lonely Housewife Sex and comedy have more in common than their mutual appeal to the masses: Both require a certain finesse to be executed effectively. When the two collide, the results can be that much better...or that much worse. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, the two meet head-on in The Greatest Porno, EVER!!, returning to the Gorilla Tango Theater after a run this past November. Porno is the perverted brainchild of the Shoelace Academy, a group of students from

THE GREATEST PORNO, EVER!! Gorilla Tango Theater Tuesdays through February 23

Second City’s Training Center. The play unfolds in a series of skits loosely organized around the destructive wake of a sex tape as it circulates through a community of friends. The titular porno is described as an X-rated cross between the video from The Ring and Monty Python’s “Funniest Joke in

the World.” Gaining popularity by word of mouth, the DVD has lethal effects on lonely teenagers, seasoned detectives, and even a hapless housecat. While about half the show’s skits follow the story of the sex tape, the rest are standalone scenes of sexual comedy, with subject matter that ranges from using the childhood game of “telephone” as a means to deliver bad news about STDs, to longer musical numbers about the joys of being a peep show booth janitor, to something called “giant porn.” To their credit, the writer/actors

PORNO continued on page 9

ART

Smart Museum joins The Darker Side By Jessen O'Brien Voices Sunny Side Up While most people associate late 19th-century art with bright and blurry impressionist paintings, the Smart Museum’s newest exhibition, The Darker Side of Light: Arts of Privacy, 1850–1900, focuses on more ghoulish Parisian works from the same time period. Instead of Claude Monet’s

THE DARKER SIDE OF LIGHT Smart Museum of Art Through June 13

Albert Besnard's etching, Morphine Addicts. They swear it's for medicinal use only. COURTESY OF C.J. LIND

depictions of dreamy sunrises, think instead of nightmarish dead bodies ascending into the sky. The exhibit presents works in several different media, including sketches, paintings, and sculptures. Most are small, black-and-white pieces, although there is the occasional burst of color. Featured artists include James Ensor, Max

DARKER continued on page 9

Twice a quarter, musicians, writers, and the occasional stand-up comedian invade Hallowed Grounds. They take over the back half of the coffee shop and perform for the patrons free of charge. This haphazard artistic attack is Open Mic Night, sponsored by the Festival of the Arts (FOTA). “Open Mic provides a forum for performance, a creative outlet for students,” second-year Molly FitzMaurize, Open Mic Night’s coordinator, said. Filling Hallowed Grounds on a Thursday night it makes art public and visible on campus. The open mic creates a comfortable, communal home for student expression so often brushed aside or buried in shyness on this campus. Most performers are scheduled ahead of time, and a group of regulars has emerged. However, FOTA also allows last-minute additions, even if an audience member decides he wants to run back to his dorm, grab his guitar, and come back in time to play in the middle of the show. “I thoroughly enjoyed the experience,” second-year Adam Rosenthal said. Rosenthal is a member of the a cappella group Run For Cover, which performed at the last Open Mic Night for the first time. “I just love performing, though. I'm a kosher ham,” he said. Run For Cover heard about Open Mic Night earlier in the week and, eager to perform, quickly put together a set list of “Carry On My Wayward Son”, “Yesterday”, and “For the Longest Time”. The group, now in its second year, typically performs twice a quarter, although this winter they’ve been busier than usual. Nevertheless, they were eager to take advantage of any opportunity to sing.

FOTA OPEN MIC NIGHTS Hallowed Grounds Thursday, February 25

The Winter Arts Festival was the first time Run For Cover sang at Open Mic Night, but third-year Claudie Rubin has been performing at the open mic since she first arrived at U of C. “My mom is a professor here, and she forwarded a FOTA e-mail to me,” Rubin said. At first, Rubin sang with a friend. She started playing the guitar two years ago and now performs bluegrass, folk, blues, and country songs, including some original works. “It's really just a way for me to get out there,” she said, “A lot of people I'm close to get to hear what I do.” Once she receives her diploma, Rubin plans to find a manager with her mother, who used to play with Fats Domino, and pursue a career as a musician. Rubin says she goes to Open Mic as much as possible “because it’s one of the only opportunities on campus to do music.” In addition to providing students with a chance to perform, Open Mic Night exposes the audience to a variety of art forms. “My favorite part of the open mic is the element of surprise and uncertainty,” FitzMaurice said. “You never know who is going to show up or what they’re going to do after you give them the microphone. The surprise is also for unassuming coffee buyers who suddenly find themselves listening to an instrument they didn’t know existed or to a kid from their Sosc class reading a poem.” Whether audience members come to support a friend or to buy a latte, the variety of Open Mic Night guarantees that they will hear something they like or have never heard before. Although there are some regulars, each Open Mic Night is a new experience for both the audience and the performers. Any students interested in watching need only go to Hallowed Grounds Thursday of eighth week for a few hours of anything and everything.

CHICAGO MAROON | VOICES | February 16, 2010

Curriculum

HardCore By Chris Chavez I know this pr obably makes me sound like the stupidest person ever, but I think I made a big mistake with my best friend. I told him I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have feelings for him, but lately, wellâ&#x20AC;ŚI have started to have feelings for him! I just donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what to do. Anna: What happened to you doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make you sound stupid, but it does make you sound a little flaky. Before you make a move, you need to sit and think this through. Figure out whether these feelings are real, and, if they are, whether pursuing a relationship would be the best choice for you. If getting together with him wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ruin your friendship, create a schism among your friends, or stress you out, then you need to gather some courage and be straightforward with him. Tell him that your feelings have changed and that you feel the same way as he does. You canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t blame him if heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s changed his mind, though. The ball is really in his court for this one.

and Anna Boyle

Chris: Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re definitely not stupid, just slow on the uptake. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to determine the exact moment you start developing feelings for a person. They could have been there the whole time, and you just werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sure exactly what they were. The thing is, since youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve already rejected your friend, the situation is infinitely more complex. But you do have plenty of options. Like Anna said, being straightforward is the best choice. However, another option that most people donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t consider, or at least donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t admit to, is to let this situation go. There are plenty of unknown factors mixed into the equation, and no one would fault you for deciding not to do anything until you know whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up for sure. You really just have to give yourself a break and go with the flow. I just got into a relationship with a new guy. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nice, and I like him. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just one problem: My best friends really donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like him. I mean, they despise him. What should I do?

Anna: Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s start by thinking about why your friends hate your boyfriend. Is it because of something trivial? Did he ever insult them by accident? Is he associated with a group of people they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like? Do they not like how he looks? If this is the case, you should ignore their hatred for your guy and tell them that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re being irrational. However, they could have a very good reason to dislike him. Has he ever been malicious to them? They could know something about him that you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. You need to talk with your friends and let them be honest about their problems with this guy. If their reasons are justified, then you might want to reevaluate your mental picture of your beau. Try to consolidate you and your friendsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; impressions of your man and see how they sync up. In my experience, if friends feel really strongly about the person youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re dating, they are right. However, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not always the case, so you need to evaluate the situation from all angles.

Chris: There is probably something going on underneath the surface that you are not aware of. For instance, what if your friends hate your boyfriend because one of them secretly has a crush on you (or him!) and feels threatened? What if your boyfriend drunkenly hooked up with a girl in your friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hum class two years ago, and your friend jumped to the conclusion that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s likely to cheat on you? What if your friends are starting to notice changes in your behavior that they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t agree with, and they attribute them to your boyfriend? It could be a variety of different things, and until you know all the facts, you should not make a decision. Still, your b est friends have proved themselves trustworthy, and that means that you should not make a decision about keeping your boyfriend without consulting them. If you let them know that this isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t about choosing sides but choosing what you think is best for yourself, than everything will be fine.

BVS SRWb]à ]T 5`Sg 1Wbg bVS ;/@==< a _cO`bS`Zg [OUOhW\S O`S \]e aSSYW\U ^Sà]\OZ SaaOg acP[WaaW]\a T]` bVS eW\bS` WaacS /\g abgZS ]` acPXSQb Wa TW\S) bVS ]\Zg `Sab`WQbW]\a O`S bVOb g]c` SaaOg aV]cZR PS b`cS O\R e`WbbS\ T`][ g]c` ^Sà^SQbWdS BVS PSab SaaOg eWZZ PS ^cPZWaVSR W\ 5`Sg 1Wbg \]e O\ ]\ZW\S ]\Zg >24 [OUOhW\S

>C0:7A6 G=C@ >3@A=</: 3AA/G 7< 5@3G 17BG

AND THE SCHOLARS Ottocento Opera Between Theory and Practice: A Symposium in Honor of Philip Gossett

Robert W. Reneker Distinguished Service Professor, Department of Music, Department of Romance Languages and Literatures, and the College

Monday, February 22 Mandel Hall, 1131 E. 57th Street, Hyde Park

1-5 pm Symposium Moderated by Jeffrey Kallberg, University of Pennsylvania Opening remarks by Martha Feldman, University of Chicago Guest participants representing over a dozen institutions Closing remarks by Don M. Randel, President The Andrew W. Mellon Foundation

7-8 pm Recital International opera singers:

Joyce Di Donato Vivica Genaux Sheila Rock Photography

Introductions by Brian Dickie (Chicago Opera Theater)

Virgin Classics/Harry Heleotis

23/2:7<3( ESR\SaROg 4SP`cO`g "bV 4]` []`S W\T]`[ObW]\ ]` b] S [OWZ g]c` acP[WaaW]\ Q]\bOQb U`SgQWbgSaaOga.U[OWZ Q][

CHICAGO MAROON | VOICES | February 16, 2010

The Greatest Porno proves lethally explicit

With works from its own collection, the Smart has its own dark materials

PORNO continued from page 7

DARKER continued from page 7 DVD—and Jessie Stegner as Miranda— Tony’s Cosmo-reading wife desperate to put the spark back in their marriage—buoy the show with their timing and excellent comedic energy. Especially hilarious are Tony and Miranda’s middle-aged attempts to break their marital dry spell by trying to emulate the “carnal gymnastics” of the considerably more limber stars of the porno. Their standout performances in the narrative of the madcap search for the illicit video make the rest of Porno feel like filler, but the show’s zippy hour-long running time prevents any significant dragging. The snappy pacing and quick scene changes, along with the pre-show handouts of free anatomically correct sweet treats by the cast, create an overall atmosphere that feels like a good round of dirty charades with a particularly funny group of friends. Although uneven at times, The Greatest Porno, EVER!! is an enjoyable dose of good (though not always clean) fun.

never descend to the level of the truly lewd or disgusting—all is kept well within the range of a bawdy R-rated movie. Despite the rather stimulating nature of the subject material, some sketches manage to feel boring, tired, or both. One-shot gags are stretched to the breaking point—sure, it’s amusing to point out that watching Paula Deen douse everything in butter is akin to watching porn, but does it really deserve a full two minutes? On the whole, the actors seem enthusiastic about the subject matter, but occasional drops in onstage momentum call attention to bits that may have worked better in theory than in practice. For instance, the aforementioned musical scene lacks the commitment and polish to attain the level of gross-out Broadway parody to which it aspires. Fortunately, strong performances by Patrick De Nicola as Tony—the cop hellbent on getting to the bottom of the deadly

Klinger, and Anders Zorn. More familiar names like Victor Hugo, Edouard Manet, and Edgar Degas are also present, though they are represented by pieces wholly different from their usual repertoire. Equally dark quotations accompany many of the works, including ones from Edgar Allen Poe. Insights from Charles Baudelaire appear on almost every wall. All of the pieces’ dark subject matter and their colorlessness allows for a sense of aesthetic cohesion in the exhibit. Works are organized into collections that represent different levels of hell, beginning with Nature and ending with Violence and Death. In between, we find sections on Creatures, Obsession, Abjection, the City, and Reverie. Although Nature sounds innocent enough, its landscapes are brooding and melancholy. Other sections depict morphine addicts and rapists. Most of the images stand alone, while others are part of a series from the same artist. Although most of the pieces are part of a traveling exhibit, the Smart was able to provide supplemental

ok, so my subs really aren't gourmet and we're not french either. my subs just taste a little better, that's all! I wanted to call it jimmy john's tasty sandwiches, but my mom told me to stick with gourmet. She thinks whatever I do is gourmet, but i don't think either of us knows what it means. so let's stick with tasty!

Established in Charleston, IL in 1983 to add to students GPA and general dating ability.

8" SUB SANDWICHES All of my tasty sub sandwiches are a full 8 inches of homemade French bread, fresh veggies and the finest meats & cheese I can buy! And if it matters to you, we slice everything fresh everyday in this store, right here where you can see it. (No mystery meat here!)

PEPE®

Real applewood smoked ham and provolone cheese garnished with lettuce, tomato, and mayo.

#2 BIG JOHN® Medium rare choice roast beef, topped with yummy mayo, lettuce, and tomato.

#3 TOTALLY TUNA® Fresh housemade tuna, mixed with celery, onions, and our tasty sauce, then topped with alfalfa sprouts, cucumber, lettuce, and tomato. (My tuna rocks!)

#4 TURKEY TOM® Fresh sliced turkey breast, topped with lettuce, tomato, alfalfa sprouts, and mayo. (The original)

#5 VITO® The original Italian sub with genoa salami, provolone, capicola, onion, lettuce, tomato, & a real tasty Italian vinaigrette. (Hot peppers by request)

#6 VEGETARIAN Layers of provolone cheese separated by real avocado spread, alfalfa sprouts, sliced cucumber, lettuce, tomato, and mayo. (Truly a gourmet sub not for vegetarians only . . . . . . . . . . . peace dude!)

TW YM NL J // NSF ¹8 Q

J.J.B.L.T.® Bacon, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. (The only better BLT is mama's BLT)

Corporate Headquarters Champaign, IL

+ Giant chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin cookie + Real potato chips or jumbo kosher dill pickle + Extra load of meat + Extra cheese or extra avocado spread + Hot Peppers

freebies (subs & clubs only) Onion, lettuce, alfalfa sprouts, tomato, mayo, sliced cucumber, Dijon mustard, oil & vinegar, and oregano.

GIANT club sandwiches My club sandwiches have twice the meat or cheese, try it on my fresh baked thick sliced 7-grain bread or my famous homemade french bread!

#7 GOURMET SMOKED HAM CLUB

PLAIN SLIMS ® Any Sub minus the veggies and sauce

slim slim slim slim slim slim

1 2 3 4 5 6

Ham & cheese Roast Beef Tuna salad Turkey breast Salami, capicola, cheese Double provolone

Low Carb Lettuce Wrap ®

JJ UNWICH

Same ingredients and price of the sub or club without the bread.

JIMMY TO GO ® CATERING BOX LUNCHES, PLATTERS, PARTIES!

DELIVERY ORDERS will include a delivery charge of 25¢ per item (+/–10¢).

+ + JIMMYJOHNS.COM + +

A full 1/4 pound of real applewood smoked ham, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, & real mayo!

#8 BILLY CLUB® Choice roast beef, smoked ham, provolone cheese, Dijon mustard, lettuce, tomato, & mayo.

#9 ITALIAN NIGHT CLUB® Real genoa salami, Italian capicola, smoked ham, and provolone cheese all topped with lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, and our homemade Italian vinaigrette. (You hav'ta order hot peppers, just ask!)

#10 HUNTER’S CLUB® A full 1/4 pound of fresh sliced medium rare roast beef, provolone, lettuce, tomato, & mayo.

#11 COUNTRY CLUB® Fresh sliced turkey breast, applewood smoked ham, provolone, and tons of lettuce, tomato, and mayo! (A very traditional, yet always exceptional classic!)

#12 BEACH CLUB® Fresh baked turkey breast, provolone cheese, avocado spread, sliced cucumber, sprouts, lettuce, tomato, and mayo! (It's the real deal, and it ain't even California.)

#13 GOURMET VEGGIE CLUB® Double provolone, real avocado spread, sliced cucumber, alfalfa sprouts, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. (Try it on my 7-grain whole wheat bread. This veggie sandwich is world class!)

#14 BOOTLEGGER CLUB®

+ sides +

+ Soda Pop

works, making The Darker Side of Light a unique experience. Many of these works also used to be privately owned, an environment the museum strove to replicate in its presentation. Entering the exhibit, one goes from a bright, wide space to a smaller one with walls painted in dark, saturated colors to recreate the feeling of a smaller, more private area. Given the very public nature of museums, it is impossible to perfectly simulate the original privacy surrounding these pieces, but the Smart does succeed at creating some sense of intimacy. All of the pieces in the exhibit depict troubling content in a truly beautiful way. When examined individually, each seems like the result of a particular artist’s inner turmoil at a given moment, but displayed together the works reveal a very real, more obscure movement. The Darker Side of Light hints that, during a time of bright pastorals and beautiful portraits, 19th-century artists also collectively expressed a fascination with the dark, the depraved, and the melancholy.

THE J.J. GARGANTUAN® This sandwich was invented by Jimmy John's brother Huey. It's huge enough to feed the hungriest of all humans! Tons of genoa salami, sliced smoked ham, capicola, roast beef, turkey & provolone, jammed into one of our homemade French buns then smothered with onions, mayo, lettuce, tomato, & our homemade Italian dressing.

Roast beef, turkey breast, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. An American classic, certainly not invented by J.J. but definitely tweaked and fine-tuned to perfection!

#15 CLUB TUNA® The same as our #3 Totally Tuna except this one has a lot more. Fresh housemade tuna salad, provolone, sprouts, cucumber, lettuce, & tomato.

#16 CLUB LULU® Fresh sliced turkey breast, bacon, lettuce, tomato, & mayo. (JJ's original turkey & bacon club)

#17 ULTIMATE PORKER™ Real applewood smoked ham and bacon with lettuce, tomato & mayo, what could be better!

WE DELIVER! 7 DAYS A WEEK TO FIND THE LOCATION NEAREST YOU VISIT JIMMYJOHNS.COM

"YOUR MOM WANTS YOU TO EAT AT JIMMY JOHN'S!" ® © 1 9 8 5 , 2 0 0 2 , 2 0 0 3 , 2 0 0 4 , 2 0 0 7 , 2 0 0 8 J I M M Y J O H N ’ S F R A N C H I S E , L L C A L L R I G H T S R E S E RV E D . We R e s e r ve T h e R i g h t To M a k e A n y M e n u Ch a n g e s .

CHICAGO MAROON | SPORTS | February 16, 2010

Young squad still dealing with pressure of national status

Master’s in Human Behavior A new degree program for careers in business, government advocacy, and public service

W. TENNIS continued from back page this season. “We need to work on how we start matches; that’s something we’re focusing on for team indoors.” After taking a 3–0 lead over the Bears in doubles, the Maroons cruised in singles, picking up all five of their victories in straight sets. Higgins, who has been overpowering since finishing second at the ITA Championships in the fall, won her fifth consecutive match with a two-set victory at the first singles spot. It was a strong start to the D-III schedule for a team with national title hopes, but the Maroons will look to take the next step when

they head to the ITA Indoor Championships February 26. For Perry, the biggest challenge for Chicago at this point in the season is maintaining the confidence that brought the team to a fourth-place fi nish at last year’s NCAAs. “We’re handling a little more pressure [than last year],” he said. “Now you have the ‘What if? What if we play poorly? We may lose.’ Last year, everyone was new; we played without fear. Now, we have to be able go out and play with confidence and not think about the consequences, just approach it like we did last year.”

Women’s throwers continue to star as Maroons tally six qualifying marks TRACK continued from back page

This is an accelerated program designed especially for those who have received their bachelor’s degree in a social science field. An MHB degree trains for careers in: advertising, public relations, human resources, corporate communication, lobbying, marketing, and numerous others where knowledge of human behavior is essential for effective job performance.

Application deadline: March 1 http://college.usc.edu/MHB

University of Southern California

ful day with two individuals coming away victorious. Third-year Felipe Fernandez Del Castillo won the 5,000-meter run with a time of 15:25.95, and second-year Moe Bahrani won the 3,000-meter run with a time of 8:38.08. “The pace went out really slow, and although I kind of wanted to run a nice quick time, I knew it wasn’t important, so I let the other runners do the work for me, took the lead after a mile, and no one challenged me,” Bahrani said. “It was a surprisingly mild race considering the level of competition.” The throwers on the women’s team continued to dominate. Fourth-year Claire Ray had already hit the automatic-qualifying distance in the weight throw, but she extended her best distance to 18.06 meters in that event on Friday. Third-year Kristin Constantine placed second in the weight throw with a provisionalqualifying distance of 16.70 meters. In the shot put, Ray placed second to fourth-year Nicole Murphy, with both of them hitting the provisional-qualifying mark.

Joining Ray and Constantine in the illustrious group of automatic qualifiers, third-year Liz Lawton ran a time of 17:06.45 last weekend in the 5,000-meter run; as of now, she is the only athlete in the UAA to have qualified for NCAAs in that event. The women came away from the meet with victories in three events. Third-year Lizzie Bright clocked a winning time of 18:16 in the 5,000, while second-year Rachel Ohman was the first to cross the line in the mile with a time of 5:19.52. The 4x400 team took it down to the wire with the race being decided in the last straightaway. The Maroons, with a time of 4:03.43, were able to overcome North Central by a final margin of 0.43 seconds. “Each and every one of the girls put their best efforts out there which could not have happened if it were not for the unity and the support of the team,” first-year member of the 4x400 team Kayla McDonald said. The track and field teams will continue their quest to qualify next weekend in Henry Crown at the Margaret Bradley Invitational.

CLASSIFIEDS

Ash Wednesday at St. Paul & the Redeemer Join us on Wednesday, February 17: At 7:30 a.m., Noon, and 7:30 p.m. for the Ash Wednesday Liturgy and Communion At 5:00 p.m. for an experiential Children’s Liturgy, which will teach families about the meaning of the ashes, Communion, and the other elements of the service.

The Church of St. Paul & the Redeemer 4945 S. Dorchester Ave. in Hyde Park/Kenwood (773) 624-3185 www.sp-r.org info@sp-r.org

Classified advertising in the CHICAGO MAROON is $3 for each line. Lines are 45 characters long INCLUDING spaces and punctuation. Special headings are 20-character lines at $4 per line. Classifieds are NOT accepted over the phone, and they must be paid in advance. Submit all ads in person, by e-mail, or by mail to the CHICAGO MAROON, Ida Noyes Hall, Lower Level Rm 026, 1212 E. 59th St., Chicago, IL 60637 attn: Classified Ads. Deadlines: Wednesdays and Fridays, 12 P.M., prior to publication. The CHICAGO MAROON accepts Mastercard & Visa. Call 702-9555.

» SPACE

53RD & GREENWOOD Great 1 BR in quiet bulding on quiet block. Hardwood floors laundry in basement heat included. Large yard great for students! $740/mo. Call: 312-613-0974

Master of Science in Biotechnology Integrated training for biologists, chemists, & engineers Earn a graduate degree in only 15 months and prepare for a rewarding career in biotechnology or pharmaceuticals. • Optional Industrial Internship available (extends program length to 21 months) • 1000 hours of hands-on, independent research guided by a Northwestern faculty member • Seminars on the legal, regulatory, business, and ethical aspects of biotechnology • Placement assistance o ered by a full-time industrial liaison

Apply today at: www.MBP.northwestern.edu

CHICAGO MAROON | SPORTS | February 16, 2010

MEN’S BASKETBALL

Chicago stumbles in road finales with close losses to NYU, Brandeis back-and-forth affair only to falter in the waning moments. Guard Omar Meziab nailed a threepointer with 48.8 seconds left to break a 64–64 tie and give NYU the lead for good. Meziab went on to trade a pair of free throws with fourth-year forward John Kinsella to preserve the three-point lead with 21 seconds left. After that point, the Maroons had two more chances at the foul line, but missed the front end of the one-and-one both times. NYU forward Richie Polan tacked on two more free throws to reach the final tally. Earlier, Chicago had opened up a 50–45 lead through a stretch in the second half that featured two three-pointers from fourth-year guard Jake Pancratz. The five-point margin was the largest held by either team throughout the game, which featured 19 lead changes and eight ties. “We have to take better command of the game in order to win on the road,” McGrath said. “We

By Jefferson Mao Sports Staff After another rough weekend trip, the Maroons are finally home for good. Men’s basketball (11–11, 5–6) fell in the last two-game road swing of the season, losing 71–66 to NYU (15–7, 6–5) in a tough game that went down to the final minute, and then dropping an 83–71 decision to Brandeis (17–5, 7–4), where the Maroons were never able to get over the hump. This pair of setbacks puts Chicago into a fifth-place tie in the UAA with only three home games left to play. “The UAA is such a tough conference, and you have to maintain and prepare yourself for every game,” head coach Mike McGrath said. “We played well in stretches, but we weren’t able to sustain our good play.” The Maroons kept up with NYU in a tense,

can’t rely on the officials or the opposing team to bail us out.” Pancratz paced the Maroons with 19 points and five assists while shooting 5-of-10 from beyond the arc, and Polan led NYU with 16 points and six rebounds. Sunday, in the game against 21st-ranked Brandeis, Chicago was never able to recover from its 41–31 deficit at the half, despite a starring performance from Kinsella. Kinsella contributed a season-best 25 points and connected on seven treys, including one that capped off an 11–5 run to start the second half and cut the lead to four. However, forward Terrell Hollins responded with a put-back for Brandeis, and two subsequent free throws by guard Tyrone Hughes pushed the lead back up to eight. The Maroons were later able to cut the lead to five on several occasions, but they never got any closer.

Hackney, bench scoring anchor strong win at NYU W. BASKETBALL continued from back page

in scoring by any number of different players depending on the game. Against NYU, prolific fourth-year post Molly Hackney turned in a characteristically solid effort with 15 points, but it was Chicago’s reserves that made the difference. Fourth-year guard Micaela White, secondyear forward Taylor Simpson, and first-year guard Jenna Lillemoe combined for 48 points off the bench. That helped compensate for the struggles of second-year guard tandem Bryanne Halfhill and Meghan Herrick, who together average 19 points per game but scored just five against the Violets. “I think that it must be extremely hard for other teams to prepare for us because we consistently have different people stepping up every game,” Hackney said. Theories are not always airtight, though, and Brandeis proved it is possible to successfully show a new look in midseason. The Judges employed a zone defense against Chicago that created problems for the visitors. “They came out in a zone, which is some-

negotiate a tricky visit to the East Coast. After comfortably defeating both Emory and Rochester one weekend earlier, the Maroons looked in the mood for another romp early on against NYU. Chicago started the game with a 10–0 run, but the Violets came back to lead by as many as five before the Maroons closed out strong and took a 32–25 advantage to the break. While the hosts managed to contain Chicago’s offense somewhat in the first half, they could not keep it under wraps in the second. The Maroons boosted their field goal percentage from 44.4 to 48.5 percent and made six of seven second-half free throw attempts as opposed to just four of nine in the first period. As a result, Chicago scored 41 points in the second half and won by 21. At this point in the season, every team has a clear identity and can do little to change it. This was especially true for Chicago this weekend. Throughout the season, Chicago has been a balanced team that could be led

what uncommon for the way that they play,” head coach Aaron Roussell said. “We had some shots, but we just didn’t hit them.” Chicago’s offensive difficulties made them rely even more heavily on two of their other strengths: defense and rebounding. The Maroons held Brandeis to just 34-percent shooting, which is actually 2 percent above Chicago’s stingy season average, and supplemented that with a 42–27 edge on the boards. “We have seen success when we dominate on the boards, so we do a lot of rebounding drills in practice and focus on getting to every board in the games,” Hackney said. Defense and reb ounding helped the Maroons grind out a close 49–47 victory in a game where neither team led by more than seven at any point. Halfhill led all scorers with 19 points, including three free throws in the final minute to put the Maroons ahead. Chicago plays its final three games at home, with Carnegie (9–13, 2–9) and Case (12–10, 3–8) coming to town this weekend.

Hollins notched 12 points, 13 rebounds, and four steals and was one of five Brandeis players to reach double-digit scoring. Pancratz poured in another 19 points and six assists, as he and Kinsella all but carried Chicago for most of the game. “John and Jake were fantastic,” McGrath said. “But I don’t think we supported them as well as we should have.” With the last of the road games behind them, the Maroons will finish up the season with a three-game home stand. It will mark the final games for the squad’s four graduating fourthyears, Pancratz, Kinsella, guard John Bonelli, and forward Marek Kowalewski. “Aside from playing together and getting better as a team, our goal is also to make sure that our fourth-years have a great ending to their careers,” McGrath said. “And a big part of that is winning games.”

Swimmers confident Chicago will improve on 2009 finish SWIMMING continued from back page the first few places are worth considerably more. ”First place scores a lot of points, which can add up quickly with just a couple of swims,” first-year Olivia Mapes said. Mapes said she believed this year’s Maroons have both the depth and the core of top swimmers needed to be among the top three when the final results are posted Saturday night. Even without the chance to beat their alltime best finish, the Maroons would have ample motivation at UAAs because the conference meet is probably the most important team meet of their season. The majority of the swimmers have tapered off their training in order to be fresh for this week, and for most, this will be the capstone of their season. Others who do especially well this weekend could even earn spots at the national meet in March. ”[This meet] is our main focus,” Weber said. “We want to put up some fast times, break some records, hopefully get third as a team on both sides and get a lot of people to qualify for NCAAs.”

Richard I. Kaufman DDS & Louis R. Kaufman DDS & Associates Family & Cosmetic Dentistry

We welcome all new and returning students and faculty! Call our office today and find more information about our: • Convenient office hours • Quick appointments between classes • Affordable monthly payment options • Free examinations • Special discounts for University of Chicago students & faculty

PROFESSIONAL HOME WHITENING SYSTEM

Learn how to smile again

Proud member of

Whiten your smile in only 3-minutes

No Pain, No Shot, Perfect Smile that will last over 20 years

Richard I. Kaufman DDS & Louis R. Kaufman DDS & Associates 1525 E. 53rd St., Ste. 734 Chicago, IL 60615 773-643-6006 • 773-493-3340 www.chicagodentistr y.com

Before

CHICAGOMAROON.COM

IN QUOTES “Dear Pat Neshek, You’re my favorite player. You’re the best. If your could get me Joe Nathans autograph on a card and Justin morneau autograph, And Joes Mauer autograph And Jim thome autograph, and....”

SPORTS

—From a fan letter to Twins relief pitcher Pat Neshek. The fan asked for six autographs in total, but not Neshek’s.

WOMEN’S BASKETBALL

SWIMMING & DIVING

Chicago’s road wins keep UAA title within reach

Maroons target bestever finish at UAAs

By Ryan Tryzbiak Associate Sports Editor Women’s basketball’s mission is simple: Win every game in order to preserve a chance of winning the conference championship and advancing to postseason play. There is no margin for error. Fortunately, the Maroons (17–5, 9–2 UAA) made few mistakes in sweeping their final road trip of the regular season with a 73–52 win over NYU (13–9, 5–6) and a 49–47 victory against Brandeis (13–8, 6–5). The pair of wins keeps Chicago on a collision course with seventhranked Wash U (20–2, 10–1). If the Maroons can defeat both Carnegie (9–13, 2–9) and Case (12–10, 3–8) next weekend, they will meet the Bears at Ratner on February 27 with at least a share of the UAA title on the line. First, though, Chicago had to

W. BASKETBALL continued on page 11

By Jordan Holliday Sports Editor

Second-year Bryanne Halfhill, shown against Rochester, led the Maroons with 19 points in Sunday’s 49–47 win over Brandeis. Halfhill hit three of four free throws in the final minute to put Chicago ahead for good. CAMILLE VAN HORNE/MAROON

WOMEN’S TENNIS

South Siders handle Case, Wash U in first D-III action By Jake Grubman Sports Editor In their first D-III matches since last season’s NCAA tournament, the fourth-ranked women’s tennis team picked up right where they left off. After cruising past Case (5 –3) by an 8–1 margin on Saturday, the Maroons scored a convincing 8–1 victory over 15th-ranked Wash U (1–1) Sunday. “I think the whole team, we’re playing really well,” second-year Kendra

Higgins said. “We’ve got a couple of big goals in sight…. [Getting] past these two big rivals really shows how we’re going to do in the future.” Having graduated one player from last season—former all-American Vindya Dayananda—the Maroons flexed their muscles Sunday morning by beating the Bears by the same margin as they did in the UAA tournament last season. “This year there are a lot of people gunning for us,” Higgins said. “This weekend shows that we’re not letting

the pressure get to us. We’re still playing our game, still reaching for our goal; our goal is just a step higher this year. It shows if you’re going to beat us, you really have to beat us.” After finishing last in the conference a season ago, Case came to town Saturday as a team on the rise. The Spartans have already more than doubled their win total from last year, when they finished 2–16 overall, but the Maroons’ lineup overwhelmed Case from the beginning. The Case match was a warm-up

for the Maroons’ first big test of the season as rival Wash U came to town Sunday. Chicago was sluggish early on, forcing the South Siders to fight back from deficits in all of the doubles matches. “We had some slow starts in pretty much both matches—against Case and Wash U—but we were able to finish off and go 6–0 in doubles against both teams,” head coach Marty Perry said, citing an issue that has hurt Chicago at times already

W. TENNIS continued on page 10

TRACK & FIELD

Men, women capture second at Chicagolands By Alex Sisto Sports Staff As chances to qualify for nationals become scarce, the list of qualifiers continued to grow at this weekend’s Chicagolands Invitational. Up against a broad base of competition, both the men’s and women’s track teams placed second at this weekend’s competition. North Central took the top spot on both sides of the field, with 20 teams involved in the women’s competition and 16 in the men’s competition. Th e m e n c a m e a w a y f r o m Saturday’s meet with two provisional-qualifying times and four victories. Third-year Jacob Solus had already qualified in the triple jump, but was able to hit the mark again, despite a

rough week of training. “I went into this weekend really sore from jumping last week and getting in some good lifting this week, so I was kind of on autopilot and just focused on my technique,” Solus said. On the track, the Maroons had an impressive showing in the distance medley relay, as the team was able to get under the provisional-qualifying time, clocking in at 10:06.49. Fourth-year Blake Obuchowski made his indoor debut after undergoing knee surgery a few weeks ago. He and fourth-year Bill Cheng and took the top two places in the 55-meter dash with Cheng winning with a time of 6.54, 0.05 seconds faster than Obuchowski. The distance crew had a success-

TRACK continued on page 10

The UAA swimming and diving championships begin tomorrow, and Chicago’s teams are hoping to come away this year with nothing less than their all-time best. That will require that both the men and women finish at least third at the conference meet, which opens tomorrow afternoon at Emory and concludes Saturday evening. At last year’s championship, which was held here at Chicago, the two teams each placed fourth, and those showings stand as their current bests at UAAs. ”We were just outside of third place,” head coach Jason Weber said of last year’s meet. “Less than 30 points on the guys’ side, and around 30 points on the girls’ side, so we were very, very close to getting top three, and I think that left sort of a sour taste in our mouths. Even though we got the best finish ever, we want to break into the top three.” It was Wash U that just barely clipped the men, 1080–1057, at the 2009 meet, and on the women’s half Carnegie Mellon edged Chicago, 1060–1028.5, to keep the Maroons out of third place. Those same teams will once again be competing with Chicago for spots inside the top three, but this season, both teams seem confident that the coveted third spot is theirs to lose. “We will absolutely improve on last year’s performance,” third-year James Schlabach said. “Our team has a lot of depth this year, and we’ve had a lot of fast swims—best times and provisional NCAA cuts—during the hardest parts of the season. Now that we’re rested, I’m sure that we’ll hit it.” Weber said that with a particularly strong meet, the women could take second, but for both Chicago squads—as for most of the rest of the UAA—first place will be out of the question because when it comes to intercollegiate swimming, the host Emory Eagles might as well be water fowl. No other UAA team has won a men’s or women’s title in swimming since Johns Hopkins did so in 1998, and Emory’s dominance has been mostly unchallenged since Hopkins departed the league in 2001. To crack the top three, the Maroons will need to show that not only are they deep as a team but that individually they can contend for the top spots in a variety of events. Points are awarded to the first 24 individual finishers in an event, but

SWIMMING continued on page 11

CA LEN DA R Wednesday

2/17

•Men’s & Women’s Swimming & Diving @ UAA Championships, All Day

Thursday Fourth-years Bill Cheng (right) and Blake Obuchowski took first and second, respectively, in the 55-meter dash Saturday at Chicagolands.

2/18

•Men’s & Women’s Swimming & Diving @ UAA Championships, All Day

COURTESY OF APPIE HIRVE

Log on to MaroonCity.com, the MAROON’s sports blog, for a men’s tennis weekend recap and all of your other U of C sports news.