February 2017

Supporting Relative Caregiver Families of Brevard County, FL February 2017

Support Group Meetings Sometimes our children provide us with challenges that we're just not quite ready to handle. And sometimes support groups can help us find the answers we need, or at least make us feel okay about the unique challenges we're facing.

Friday Feb 3 – North Brevard Indian River City United Methodist Church, 1355 Cheney Hwy. Titusville 9:30–11:00 am (This meeting is always the first Friday of each month)

Reagan & Bella on Winter Break

T.A.R.G.E.T. TRAINING Starting in April 2017!

For those new to GRG of Brevard TARGET is a six-week training course that covers the latest information from community and state experts on topics ranging from financial stability and legal assistance to parenting autistic children.

Last year’s TARGET training conference was a great success; with over 60 caregiver’s in attendance.

The TARGET training includes the following sessions:  Legal Issues  DCF - Protective Investigative Division  DCF - Economic Self-Sufficiency Division --ACCESS  Early Learning Coalition - Child Care  Mental Health Counseling Information for Children  Parenting Skills  Coping Skills  Resources - Brevard Cares, Children's Home Society, Brevard Cares, Devereux, Brevard Family Partnership, Eckerd's Kids - KinderKonsulting, Sheriff's Dept.  Bright Star - Grief Counseling for Children This training has been extremely well received by those attending, who told us that the balance between having training time and time to share stories and experiences added to the overall experience. We want to build on this over the next year, providing more training to all relative caregivers; if there are any training or information sessions that you would benefit from, please let us know by calling the GRG of Brevard office (321) 631-7776.

More information in the upcoming support group meetings, website and newsletters.

Thursday Feb 9 – Club Esteem Club Esteem 3316 Monroe Street, Melbourne 10:00 – 11:30 am (This meeting is always the second Thursday of each month)

Tuesday Feb 14 – Cocoa Beach Riverside Presbyterian Church 3400 N. Atlantic Ave. Cocoa Beach 9:30–11:00 am (This meeting is always the second Tuesday of each month)

Wednesday, Feb15 – South Brevard Memaw’s Restaurant, 4916 Babcock Blvd, Palm Bay 6:00–7:30pm (Dinner is available at member's expense) (This meeting is always the third Wednesday of each month)

Tuesday Feb 21 – Central Brevard GRG of Brevard Office, 123 Barton Blvd, Rockledge 9:30 -11 am (This meeting is always the third Tuesday of each month)

Thursday, Feb 23 – Melbourne Beach Side Memaw’s Restaurant, Indian Harbour Beach, 9:30–11:30 am (Breakfast is available at member's expense) (This meeting is always the last Thursday of each month)

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Grandparents Raising Grandchildren of Brevard County, FL www.grg-brevard.org Phone: 321-631-7776 Email: grg.brevard@gmail.com \\\\\\\\

Help Your Child Learn to Use the Internet Properly and Effectively Spend time online with your child. If you don’t have a computer at home, ask your librarian if the library has computers that you and your child may use. Learn along with your child. If you’re not familiar with computers or with the Internet, ask the librarian if and when someone is available at the library to help you and your child learn together to use them. If your child knows about computers, let her teach you. Ask her to explain what she is doing and why. Ask her to show you her favorite Web sites and to tell you what she likes about them. This will help her build self-confidence and pride in her abilities.

Help your child to locate appropriate Internet Web sites. At the same time, make sure that she understands what you think are appropriate Web sites for her to visit. Point her in the direction of sites that can help her with homework or that relate to her interests. Pay attention to any games she might download or copy from the Internet. Some games are violent or contain sexual or other content that is inappropriate for children.

Resources such as (http://www.getnetwise.org/ and http://www.safekids.com/ , can help you to make good Web site choices and give you more information about Internet use. You might consider using “filters” to block your child from accessing sites that may be inappropriate. These filters include software programs that you can install on your computer. In addition, many Internet service providers offer filters (often for free) that restrict the sites that children can visit. Of course, these filters are not always completely effective—and children can find ways around them. The best safeguard is your supervision and involvement.

Monitor the amount of time that your child spends online. Internet surfing can be just as time consuming as watching TV. Don’t let it take over your child’s life. Have her place a clock near the computer and keep track of how much time she is spending online.

Teach your child rules for using the Internet safely. Let him know that he should never do the following: —tell anyone, including his friends, his computer password —use bad language or send cruel, threatening or untrue e-mail messages —give out any personal information, including his name or the names of family members, home address, phone number, age, and school name —arrange to meet a stranger that he has “talked” with in an online

February 2017

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQ’S) Q: I live in a part of the state with no contact person or support group— can I still get some assistance?

A: Yes, call (321) 631-7776 and we can talk with you about your situation and hopefully point you in the right direction.

Q: Do I have to be a grandparent to use your services and resources?

A: No, any Brevard County family led by someone other than birth parents can benefit from what we have to offer: children who live full time with grandparents, relatives and family friends.

Q: Where can I find GRG information other than this newsletter?

A: You can find resources and information on our website: www.grg-brevard.org and on our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/grg.brevard/?fref=nf Q: I know other people who would like this newsletter—how can they get a copy?

A: They can sign-up for the mailing list on our website and they can also see all the back issues https://issuu.com/grg-brevard Q: I want to help with a donation—how can I do that?

A: You can make a tax-deductible gift by using the “Donate” button on our website: www.grg-brevard.org or you can make an in-kind donation by contacting us at (321)631-7776 grg.brevard@gmail.com

E-NEWSLETTER Are you interested in receiving an online version of our newsletter rather than a printed version? Please send an email to grg.brevard@gmail.com and include your name, email address and mailing address to insure we update your record accordingly! If there are topics you would like to see covered in the newsletter, please ask.

Thank you for helping us save on printing costs so that more of each dollar can benefit children and families. We are looking for sponsors for the printing of the newsletter if you are interested or know of someone please contact the office.

-Information courtesy of U.S. Department of Education, Office of Communications and Outreach, “Helping Your Child Succeed in School”,

Save the Date Generations United is thrilled to announce plans for the 5th National GrandRally: Building a Community of Hope on May 10th 2017, in Washington, DC. Learn more: https://grandrally2017.org/about/

Mary Ann Sterling, Executive Director GRG of Brevard 123 Barton Blvd. Ste 102 Rockledge, FL 32955 (321) 631-7776 (o) (321) 868-8004 (c) (321) 631-7776 fax email: grg.brevard@gmail.com

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January 2017 Grandparents Raising Grandchildren of Brevard County, FL www.grg-brevard.org Phone: 321-631-7776 Email: grg.brevard@gmail.com

February 2017

RAISING RESPONSIBLE KIDS

Help GRG of Brevard While You Shop!

Cheri Burcham, Family Life Educator How many times have you wondered, "How can I get my grandchildren to be more responsible for brushing their teeth, picking up toys, or getting ready on time?" Teaching children to be responsible is teaching them to be in control and making their own decisions. It also means they need to be accountable for the choices they make and face the consequences of their actions. It is often easier for parents or grandparents to give in to children's needs or wants to avoid a battle or to help them out. Many adults believe that childhood isn't a time for work or don't want to be involved in the hassle of letting children "help" them.

But, chores can be a great way for children to develop responsibility.

Chores allow children to contribute to the family, share the workload, learn new skills and even earn money.

As you strive to raise a responsible, self-directed grandchild, think of a ladder. At the first rung of the ladder, children will act to avoid punishment and gain pleasure or rewards. Children hit the next rung around 5 to 6 years of age when they show concern and respect for the rules. This is when they start conforming to rules or the way something is supposed to be. The last rung is "self-direction," where the child shows initiative and independent judgment.

It is important to remember that learning a new chore takes years - not days, weeks or even months for a child to move from completing the task with help, to doing a task independently. For example, according to a 1989 study of families in Washington state, 99 percent of children involved could dress themselves with help beginning at age 2 1/2, but still needed reminding or supervision around age 5, and did not fully complete the task without reminding or supervision until 10 1/2 years of age (Crary, 1990).

So, how do you get children to help out with chores?  Be clear and specific when giving instructions for a task.  Provide choices in assigning chores. Try a "job jar" or job rotation.  Avoid being a nag.  Brainstorm ways to "help" children remember to get jobs done.  Make sure consistent consequences are in place when a job doesn't get done.  Make doing tasks fun!  Rotate the "dirty jobs" that no one wants.  Try to avoid re-doing a job. Children may not complete a task the way you would do it, but the important thing is that they tried.  Consider safety when assigning and supervising tasks.  Offer praise and express appreciation when children complete or attempt tasks. Appreciation is a great motivator!

You can also help your grandchildren become responsible by being a responsible role model, helping them with problem-solving and decision-making, and showing that work contributes to the family. You should also expect good things from children, offer love, encouragement and support, and have appropriate expectations for each child.

Being responsible and learning responsibility is a lifelong process. You can provide the roadmap for your grandchildren to reach that destination. Enjoy the trip - the destination is in sight!

Use AmazonSmile when you shop Amazon, and support GRG of Brevard at the same time! Shop at AmazonSmile and 0.5% of your eligible Amazon purchases can be donated to the nonprofit of your choice - including GRG. Your donations help relative care families find the services they need to keep their families safe, healthy, and thriving.

Click here to start shopping.

GRG of Brevard Welcomes Julia Arroyo Julia Arroyo is a doctoral candidate at the University of Florida (UF). Julia is working on her dissertation on kinship care. She comes to us from the University of Florida with a long list of titles: MFP Fellow, American Sociological Association (ASA), President of Florida Society of Social Sciences (F3S), Grants Committee Chair, Graduate Student Council (GSC) and Department of Sociology and Criminology & Lay at the University of Florida. Wow, what a busy young lady.

Her work promotes positive outcomes among racial-ethnic minority youth and youth in zero-parent households (e.g., with grandparents or foster parents) and creates space for their experiences in theories of their well-being. Her dissertation examines the changing prevalence and characteristics of zero-parent households in the United States. She will be at the GRG of Brevard office a few days a week over the next several months collecting data and processing interviews of relative caregivers.

If you see Julia at the office or support groups please give her a warm welcome!

Lou Ann & Jonathan Hawes receive the Casey Excellence for Children Award Lou Ann and Jonathan Hawes have been dedicated volunteers and advocates with Grandparents Raising Grandchildren of Brevard for many years. They recently received the Kinship Caregiver’s Excellence for Children Award in Seattle Washington. These awards recognize outstanding individuals and leaders who have demonstrated distinguished work, exceptional leadership and relentless dedication in improving child welfare in America.

Casey Family Programs is the nation’s largest operating foundation focused on safely reducing the need for foster care and building Communities of Hope for children and families across America. Our mission is to provide and improve — and ultimately prevent the need for — foster care.

Read more and check out the video http://www.casey.org/2017-ceca/

Educate Yourself!

Having a successful family takes work -- and the proper tools. Arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible; there's always a new technique that might be just what you need to get through to your child.

Check out the intensive list of resources online -- they include everything from dealing with your child's trauma to figuring out the way to get the most money out of the adoption tax credit. Education is power! Here's a list of excellent resources from the Child Welfare  Parenting a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma  Help Children Address Past Trauma  Select & Work with a Therapist Skilled in Trauma  Support Matters: Lessons From the Field on Services for Adoptive, Foster, and Kinship Care Families  Building Loving Connections: The Impact of Trauma on Development and Attachment of Children

HELP THE GRANDPARENTS AND CHILDREN OF GRG OF BREVARD BECOME A MEMBER AND/OR FRIEND Grandparents Raising Grandchildren of Brevard County FL, Inc. is a 501(c)3 non-profit corporation.

All gifts are deductible on corporate, foundation and individual tax returns to the extent provided by state and federal laws.

Members of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren of Brevard County, FL, Inc. receive our newsletter and invitations to events where they can meet others in similar situations Name

I am raising children who are not my own I am their: [ ] Grandparent

Date:

[ ] Aunt / Uncle

Address:

[ ] Sister / Brother [ ] Other (please specify)

City/State: Zip: Phone: Email:

[ ] I am not in this situation but I want to join GRG of Brevard because I am interested in what you do.

[ ] Annual Membership $20 per family or $10 per caregiver [ ] Annual Corporate Membership $500 I want to be a friend of the GRG of Brevard and enclose an additional donation of: [ ] $25

[ ] $50 [ ] $75 [ ] $100 Other: $

Please make your check payable to: Grandparents Raising Grandchildren of Brevard