DEFINED ISSUE 01/ FALL 2015
CULTIVATE SOCIAL CAPITAL
12 character
5 steps
To evaluate your network
TRAITS
Can your network get you where you need to go?
7 critical
That dictate success within your network
Traps to avoid
Don’t make these mistakes when you’re networking
social circles
Organize your network into 3 essential categories
DO YOU KNOW YOUr NETWORK? Learn the tools to evaluate, calibrate, and build your ideal network
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30,000 ft. 04
Social Calibration
Exposing the truth about Networking and outlining a game-plan for success.
Rear View
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Essential Knowledge
Ground Level
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Follow-Up Regularly
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Social Capital Defining an effective way to build and leverage social capital.
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Network Evaluation Start with a look inward to gain a clear understanding of where you are .
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Social Impression
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Network Diversity and Organization The science
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Network Calibration Clarify-
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Common Traps What you need remember and lookout for when you’re networking.
Social Circles Organizing your network into 3 major Circles.
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Network Execution - Put your Plan into Action The
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Concluding Thoughts Your network is the bridge to your success!
You are the average of the people you spend your time with.
behind Dunbar’s Number and how that impacts your network.
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ing your objectives and building out a strategy for your ideal network.
effective ways to put your strategy into play.
Maintaining and growing your relationships is vital for achieving your goals. First impressions happen online today, learn to optimize your social media.
introduction || First and foremost Defined is a quarterly publication built just for you. After years of coaching clients from many different backgrounds, we’ve recognized there are four important areas to life. These four areas are Health, Wealth, Relationships, and Personal Investments. No matter where you come from, no matter what your background is, these four areas of life are something we manage on a daily basis. In fact, a large part of success in life is predicated on how we manage these areas. That’s where Grit || Great comes in. Grit || Great is a personal development agency that accelerates personal growth to achieve your highest dreams, goals and aspirations. We help you define greatness in yourself, as well as, show you how to use obstacles and setbacks as opportunities so you can get from where you are today to where you want to be tomorrow. We work with wide range of clients from businesses to individuals who have specific areas of development they wish to pursue.
Our tailored and behavioral based approaches helps you grow your business, make more sales, builds confidence to live the lifestyle you want to live, creates breakthroughs in your career, it helps with building strong professional and personal connections, it helps find time for your passions, AND it can help with developing general fulfillment in your work and overall life. Whether it’s wanting to develop goals around health and nutrition, to dating and relationships, to wealth and wealth management, or developing keystone habits and core characteristics: You define it, we’ll help you build it. Follow us on IG/Twitter @Grit2Great Copyright ©2016 Grit2Great, LLC. All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, without written permission from the publisher.
Our Team For Questions and Feedback reach out to us at info@grit2great.life
7095 Hollywood Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90028 Suite 575
Pavel Petrov
editor & contributor creative director
Justin Jensen
editor & contributor
Sameem Rouhani editor & contributor
Phone: (+1) 323-484-6082 www.grit2great.life
socialcalibration ||
KNOWING OTHERS IS INTELLIGENCE. KNOWING YOURSELF IS TRUE WISDOM MASTERING OTHERS IS STRENGTH. MASTERING YOURSELF IS TRUE POWER. -lAO tZU 4
There is a vast misconception about networking and the common knowledge around how people should approach it. Networking is not about going out and meeting hundreds of people, passing out cards to semi-strangers that you make small talk with for five minutes. It’s simply about making friends with people you connect with, following up and adding value, and slowly building a relationship with them over time. You want to convert them from an acquaintance into your core and potentially inner circles (which will be covered later in this book). Less is more in this case because people buy people in business, they want to work with those they can trust, enjoy the company of, and know can deliver reliably to their cause. There are certainly exceptions to this rule (just as with anything) but the most successful business minds all share this in common: A strong team of trusted lieutenants that they can count on for support, direction, motivation, access/ influence, resources, and accountability.
DEFINED Cultivate Social Capital
On the contrary, taking the standard industry approach will definitely lead you to frustration, fatigue (burnout and exhaustion from the quantity focused approach), and ultimately failure. Your strategy will be simple, defined by quality over quantity, it starts with a self-assessment of your existing network from which you can slowly expand out and grow (more on this later). Your focus is to start analyzing from the inside (what your current social landscape looks like) and work outwardly (what your ideally calibrated social landscape will develop into); This game-plan will provide you with the data you need, allow you to assess your social/business goals, and develop the right approach to surrounding yourself with the types of people that can add value to your life and get you closer to achieving all your goals. This book will provide you a toolsets and mindsets for developing your network through a long-term pragmatic approach.
LESS IS MORE QUALITY OVER QUANTITY SIMPLE STRATEGY EXECUTION
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You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. -Jim Rohn
essentialknowledge || 6
DEFINED Cultivate Social Capital
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT NETWORKING First, you need to understand why you’re going to invest in your network and the simplest way to frame it is your network defines your net worth. Jim Rohn famously stated that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. This idea is based around the law of averages and applies to not only financial standing but your social status, intelligence level, happiness and overall quality of life. There’s even been evidence to suggest that a first-rate enjoyable social network can help you live longer
since laughter triggers the release of endorphins and ultimately tunes your immune system making you more resilient to disease. Your network is important! Start taking care of and managing it properly to come closer to achieving your desired goals and get the most out of your time on this planet. To begin this process you need to develop and understand social capital.
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socialcapital || I’ve LEARNED THAT PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU SAID, PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU DID, BUT PEOPLE WILL NEVER FORGET HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
Social Capital is the collective value of your network and everyone within it that you’re connected to. This is what gives you access to funding and resources, information, power and influence, and the ability to accomplish your desired ambitions. The effectiveness of this group to provide these elements determines the value of your network and will drive your success. This group of people in your life has (up until this point) been a patchwork of individuals that have built your status to its current state. With some adjustments to your approach, identifying your blind spots, and filling out your network with purpose, you will be able to elevate your Social Capital. The traditional path to developing social
-mAYA ANGELOU 8
DEFINED Cultivate Social Capital
capital is by indoctrinating yourself into the same schools, professions, and organizations as those individuals you want to emulate and model yourself after. Though this is the most common route to take, it’s also the most difficult with a steadily increasing number of global competitors jockeying to attend the most prestigious Universities and work at the most prominent corporations. A degree from Stanford or Harvard doesn’t guarantee anything, but it does position you with a distinct advantage from the standpoint of entry to a top-tier network, it’s just about making the most of your time there and developing strong relationships. The point is, it’s really tough and expensive to gain access to these networks, so considering one of the other
SOCIAL CAPITAL IS THE COLLECTIVE VALUE OF YOUR NETWORK AND EVERYONE WITHIN IT. alternatives may be a better path to building Social Capital. You can bypass the traditional route by purchasing this luxury if you have the means to do so by investing in the interests, ventures, or companies of someone that possesses Social Capital. This doesn’t necessarily require capital to open doors this way, volunteering your time to a charity or donating your expertise or skillset to a cause can have the same impact. Another way to obtain Social Capital is through affiliation to someone who has it. Leverage your relationships
with these people in your network to realizing your objective and get backed like buyer qualifying for a mortgage (don’t worry you’re going to pay them back with interest just like you would the bank). All you are doing is bartering and exchanging access for value, so it’s vital you have identified what they need, and can provide it in exchange. Do this first (Always provide value upfront) and they will reciprocate. If the traditional route doesn’t appeal to you, you don’t have the necessary economic means, and access to anyone with the kind of social capital
that can influence desired outcomes is absent, you can still cultivate infinite social capital, you’ll just do it using the Grit2Great system. A warning to those that are looking for shortcut or are unwilling to put in the work to build this infrastructure properly, this system is not for you. Seriously, stop reading. Building a thriving and robust network will require effort, energy, and time. It will not be easy to rank and organize your contacts. It will require patience and testing on your part to tailor this method to your particular needs and achieve desired results.
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networkdiversity + organization ||
10 DEFINED Cultivate Social Capital
DUNBAR’S RESEARCH DETERMINED THAT COMMUNICATION OFTEN BREAKS DOWN WHEN A PERSON’S NETWORK EXCEEDS 150 INDIVIDUALS. The first concept that you need to learn is regarding the organization of your network and what an effective diversification strategy looks like. A wide-reaching and prosperous network has a broad range of relationships that spans several arenas, industries, disciplines, locations, interests, personas. Your network needs to include people of different backgrounds and cultures, ages (younger and older as well as those at your level), experiences, ideologies and beliefs, affiliations, ways of thinking, professions, cultures, and from various Cities and Regions throughout the US and world. There has been significant research done by Robin Dunbar regarding a person’s capacity to manage relationships effectively. Human groups have been identified in any society to cluster tightly around the following series of values: 5, 12, 35, 150, 500, and 2000. Dunbar’s research determined that communication often breaks down when a person’s network exceeds 150 individuals, these findings were named after the anthropologist, commonly known as Dunbar’s number.
Our social networks impact our lives dramatically, as the people you associate with can affect your chances of being happy or depressed, staying married or getting divorced, maintaining a healthy body mass index or becoming obese, or even developing a smoking habit. These are typically determined by how many of your closest friends embody or
understanding how the human brain works will impact your ability to connect with your network. Trying to stay in constant communication with too many people will leave you depleted of energy, time, and worst of all you won’t be able to provide each person you care about the attention they warrant.
you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. -dale carnegie perform these actions regularly. From a scientific perspective we can only process relationships with 150 people, we should recognize which ones those are, and develop stronger bonds with those select individuals. Regardless of how effective your customer relationship management (CRM) system is,
This brings us back to less is more and quality over quantity, focus on building close tight-knit relationships that you can serve and provide adequate time to developing and providing value.
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THE RICHEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD LOOK FOR AND BUILD NETWORKS, EVERYONE ELSE LOOKS FOR WORK. -ROBERT KIYOSAKI 12 DEFINED Social Capital
Acquaintances
Core - 100
socialcircles ||
Inner Circle - 50
Family - 5 We have simplified this concept to help you organize your connections into 3 main categories fulfilling the 150 person limitation (outside of family) with everyone else acting as an acquaintance in your network. As relationships shift over time, people will naturally transition from one circle to another and even potentially into a mere acquaintance. The breakdown is as follows: Family – 5 Inner Circle – 50 Core – 100
Family Family is not your bloodline but rather the one you choose, your modern family, the group of people that influence your success, the group you become the average of, the people you trust most, and spend the most time with, and the group that determines your success in life. These five people are the ones you communicate with daily.
Inner Circle The Inner Circle is your group of close friends and relationships that you value with whom you speak to and spend time with on a regular basis, likely every couple of weeks. This is a reliable group of people that you can count on to come through for you if you need to call in a favor. This group acts as your primary social circle and offers vital support for you. Pick these connections carefully and regularly provide value for the members of this group.
Core The Core is your remaining group of friends that you speak to every month or two. These are typically people you know have something to offer but you may live too far from you to maintain a tight-knit relationship with. These people can be successful in business, or just great friends that lived in your hometown, or just someone you know with a similar interest or passion, either way, you want to make an effort to maintain a relationship with these people provide links to potential job leads, information, dating, knowledge and insights about particular topics you share common interests in. These connections can play a significant role to transform your life, but this will only occur if you stay in communication and share a strong bond. You should make it a point to contact one person in this group every day on a three month cycle.
Acquaintances Acquaintances are the rest of the rest. People that you might connect with on social media once a year to wish a happy birthday to or an old friend from high school that you lost touch with. Typically there’s a reason you don’t really keep up with these individuals but that doesn’t mean that can’t change. If you deem them worthy of a spot in your circles begin to reach out and build that relationship, otherwise review these loose links annually to see if anything has changed for them to influence your decision to incorporate them more integrally into your life and social circles.
YOU CAN HAVE EVERYTHING IN LIFE YOU WANT IF YOU HELP ENOUGH OTHER PEOPLE GET WHAT THEY WANT. -ZIG ZIGLAR
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networkevaluation || ARENAS ARE COMPRISED OF PEOPLE CONNECTED BY A COMMON INTEREST, KNOWLEDGE, OR EXPERIENCE. Armed with the science of Dunbar’s number and an understanding of how to organize your connections, it’s time to evaluate your network to find strengths, weaknesses, and gaps. Each of your Top 150 connections belong to an arena (potentially multiple). Arenas are simply a field of activity comprised of people connected by a common interest, knowledge, and experience that outsiders don’t have access to. Arenas provide several advantages comprising of resources, expertise and information, access to personnel and connections, and potential opportunities. The major arenas that your connections belong to include Family, Friends, Interests and Hobbies, Government Agencies (local and regional), Finance, Media, Law, Technology, Medicine, Professions (Any Non-Essential Career). Download the Excel Worksheet on the Grit || Great website to begin this evaluation process. Keep in mind that the more of the steps you complete, the more value and data you get out of this process. Steps 1+2 are essential to complete, but steps 3+4 will provide you with important data to understand the status of your network.
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we tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. -frederick keonig
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Start by making a list of everyone in your family, friends, contact lists, phone book, colleagues, and social media accounts. This will give you a comprehensive idea of who you have to place into your circles. Make sure to fill in the three additional categories to track if this contact is a personal or professional relationship (or both), the City they live or work in, and what age bracket they belong to. The age bracket refers to generation and is significant because connecting with people older, younger, and in your age bracket offers you different information, experience, knowledge, and exposure in many ways. The three options to choose from are your age group, 5 or more years younger than you, and 5 or more years older than you.
Next to the names, leave room to mark a 5, 50, or 100 for each person that you want to assign that denomination. Start with those closer to you and work your way out to your acquaintances; for the names you would consider an acquaintance, leave the space next to the name blank. Base your first pass on gut instincts, and complete this task quickly. You can always go back and do a closer count of the assignments in the event you go over Dunbar’s number.
3 With your full list of contacts now sorted into these groups, you can start assigning applicable arenas for each person, some may receive multiple arenas if they belong to more than one. Abbreviate these to get through the list quickly; ie “Fam” for Family, “Fr” for Friends, “F” for Finance, “M” for Media, etc… or visually identify which arena a person belongs to based on color. Use a highlighter to color code them which will give you immediate visual impact on how many relationships you have from a specific arena. This data is important to collect so you understand where your network strengths and weaknesses are, this will inform how to tailor your outreach strategy for the building your
4 ideal network. You may know a lot of people within your own discipline because of your job, and it may be beneficial to spread your wings and build friendships with Lawyers or Doctors. Different jobs carry with them a varying degree of skills, knowledge, experiences and as a result a distinct outlook of the world and how to solve problems. Exposure and interaction with people of differing approaches and mindsets is very beneficial to growth. If you keep doing the same thing over and over again (in this case thinking the same way), you will end up with the same results.
With some basic data collected, we need to measure the value of each relationship to ensure that people have been placed into a suitable circle. This will also provide insight into what types of new people you want to bring into your life. The rating system is setup to account for a few major categories to be measured on a scale of 1-5 with 1 being a low or ineffective value and 5 being a high or exceptionally effective value. Each of the people you’ve added to the document need to be rated in each of the 10 core categories listed on the next page:
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Depth or Importance of Relationship For this category, a bad relationship can be a 1 rating, an acquaintance can be a 2 rating, someone in your core 100 can be a 3 rating, a person in your inner circle of 50 can be a 4 rating, and someone in your family 5 can be a 5 rating.
Professional Competence / Skill-Set For this category, if someone is not good at their job or just doesn’t take it seriously because it’s a means to an end they can receive a 1 or 2 rating, someone that does everything that’s asked of them well can receive a 3 rating, someone that goes beyond what they are asked to do, is curious about learning more, and is effectively good at what they are doing would receive a 4 rating, and your superstars that have a lot of responsibility and do an exceptional job at their jobs would receive a 5 rating.
Reliability For this category, someone who is flaky and needs to be reminded constantly to be somewhere can receive a 1 or 2 rating depending on how hands on you need to be with them, someone that is late on occasion but shows up and gets everything done but maybe not in the original timeframe can receive a 3 16 DEFINED Cultivate Social Capital
rating, someone that makes it a point to be on time, call you back when they say they are going to, and meet all deadlines set forth for them can receive a 4 rating, and someone that does everything a 4 rated person does and also takes initiative to set meetings and deadlines, takes responsibility for events and projects can receive a 5 rating.
Resourcefulness This category is in reference to hustle and the ability to generate and maintain capital, someone that lives paycheck to paycheck, doesn’t truly understand the value of money, and spends their resources at the bar can be a 1 or 2 rating, someone that is more or less responsible, saves their money, and knows the value of it can be a 3 rating, someone that earns a very good living, invests their money into developing skills and their future can be a 4 rating, someone that epitomizes hustle and the idea of grit, they work hard and earn a great living, lead a fulfilling life as a result of being able to generate and obtain capital to do the things they want, and constantly re-invest in themselves and business(es) can get a 5 rating. Another example of how you can quickly evaluate this category is based on earnings, specifically using a metric of 0-35k salary for a 1 rating, 25-50k salary for a 2 rating, 50-100k salary for a 3 rating, 100-250k salary for a 4 rating, and a 250k+ salary for a 5 rating. So we say quickly evaluate
because if we dig deeper a “porn star” and a passionate Physician can make the same amount of money per year but don’t necessarily offer the same value or resourcefulness relative to their income. So when it comes to any of these metrics we are looking at the quality of character associated to values you respect and admire. So looking for people who do what you need very well who maintains a long standing reputation within a community of people. The point we’re trying to make here is that it’s relative to people who have your values making more money than you in something that you are passionate about.
Network For this category, it’s really important to consider whether how social someone is along with whether they actively manage and grow their networks. Someone that is rude and abrasive, doesn’t care about their network or generally for people (otherwise known as an asshole) can be a 1 rating, someone that either isn’t confident in their social ability and/ or doesn’t make an effort to actively reach out to their network can be a 2 rating, someone that has social skills and has a good circle of friends and family around them can be a 3 rating (this will be most people), a person that has strong social skills, confidence, the ability to approach strangers, and actively reaches out to those they care about and manage their network can be a 4 rating, and someone with all of the 4 rated traits along with
a system for managing their contacts, adding value to them, and having social capital can be a 5 rating.
Influence For this category, someone that’s not very inspiring or influential can be a 1 or 2 rating, someone that can be convincing when they need someone to help them out, they are not always persuasive though and would be otherwise deemed ordinary in this category, this would be most people and can be a 3 rating, someone that knows how to make a compelling argument and be able to sell someone on the direction to take or product to purchase can be a 4 rating, someone that has leadership abilities, takes responsibility, has high emotional intelligence, and can influence the actions of others can be a 5 rating.
Character For this category, the ratings are straightforward and based on how many of the following character traits the person possesses: trustworthy, authentic, responsible, social, fun, respectful, personable, compassionate, generous, patient, engaged, and intelligent. For instance someone without many of these would probably not have high character and can be a 1 rating, someone with a few of these has average character and can be a 3 rating, and someone with a majority of these character traits likely has high character and can be a 5 rating. You can determine who falls in between.
Values
Availability
For this category, you are essentially finding out whether you like this person and want to spend time with them because your values align, or not. Someone that offends you or you avoid can be a 1 or 2 rating, someone that you don’t mind spending time with but don’t necessarily go out of your way can be a 3 rating, someone that you like and would be excited to see can be a 4 rating, and someone that you look forward to connecting with and significantly enjoy their company can be a 5 rating.
For this category, focus on how much of their time someone is willing to give you, this is a more valuable resource than money since you can’t get it back and when someone gives you their time, they are giving you part of their life, their knowledge, and experience. Someone that doesn’t ever seem to have time for you and isn’t responsive can be a 1 (stop talking to this person, they are not your friend or worth having in your life), someone that rarely makes time for you and is typically trying to take something rather than give can be a 2 rating, someone that makes an effort to be available to see you and spend time with you occasionally or regularly can be a 3 rating, someone that offers value and makes it a point to spend time with you can be a 4 rating, and someone that cares about you and your growth, provides value, mentors you, and makes it a point to committing to spending time with you can be a 5 rating.
Proximity For this category, you want to consider how close you live to this person and how often as a result you can see them based on your proximity. Again, this is biased towards being able to connect in person and places a premium on the ability to physically meet. This doesn’t mean that having international or out-of-state connections are a bad thing, they are actually great for diversifying your network and exposure to different ways of doing things and thinking. If you value these things over being close to someone than reverse the rating system for your own use. Someone that is in another country can be a 3 rating, someone in another state or region can be a 4 rating, and someone in the same major metropolis or city as you can be a 5 rating.
Another example of how you can quickly evaluate someone’s availability is with your circles, typically someone you aren’t very close with and don’t know well won’t give you a lot of their time and therefore can be a 1 rating, your acquaintances can be a 2 rating, your core 100 can be a 3 rating, your inner circle 50 can be a 4 rating, and your family 5 can be a 5 rating.
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5 Congratulations on completing the evaluation process of your network! You now have collected and input the data you need to make decisions about your future. Click on the datasheet tab in the spreadsheet to begin breaking down the data. With this information at your fingertips, you can now make some determinations about the strengths and weaknesses of your connections, where you have missing gaps, what new types of people you can meet to expand your circles, and begin to calibrate your network based on this information. The information provided here will help you consolidate your network down to Dunbar’s 150 number or even help eliminate people that aren’t adding value to your life. It can be
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very tough to decide to restrict contact with someone you’ve known for a long time, but negative self-centered people that don’t add value for you aren’t worth keeping around. Whether you are way over this number or way under you have some decisions to make about the people you want to spend time connecting with. If you’re someone that has over 1,000 friends on Facebook that’s fine, and there’s nothing wrong with having an extended contact list, but you should make your top 150 your priority because I would bet you don’t engage with this massive list of people anyways. You might find that of those 1,000 people you really only regularly engage 10% of them. This is a great
opportunity to fill out your top 150 with people that share passions and interests, have high character, or work in different fields. You get to build these connections from the ground up and surround yourself with the types of people that will inspire and influence your success. For fun, try and place your top 150 into a custom Facebook friends list. By clicking on this custom list, your newsfeed will adjust to only show posts from this list! Not a bad way to connect, right? It’s also easier to find them and send them messages through the custom list feature. This final step to EVALUATE YOUR NETWORK is to select your top 150 and assign which circle each relationship will belong to.
networkcalibration || Now that we’ve gone over the fundamentals of what makes a solid social network it’s time to calibrate and start taking some action and network with a purpose. The task of implementing and calibration is a lot easier when you know what your overall vision and long term goals are. Not just having a list of goals, but a clear list of goals, the path, and WHY you want them. If you’re going to start building a vast network of people you know, why not calibrate the network around what you want out of life? This way you’re connecting to those who share the same values as you have, perhaps share similar goals, and in turn, can be supportive people who can help you reach your goals. Do you have a clear vision and a connected “why” so you’re including people in your life that offer a different way of thinking, possibility, and an uncommon approach that inspire you to be creative and alter your routine. If not, that’s OK. This means it’s a good time to hammer this out and so you’re working smarter not harder, and therefore not wasting time. Everyone wants to have a close circle of friends who are the same wave length. For a head start on this, check out the Accelerator Program offered by Grit || Great to get a fast track to your success and get a clear game plan to follow. Now that you have a sharp view of your existing contacts and connec-
tions, you can begin to focus on filling the missing gaps based on the data you’ve collected and how that aligns with your goal and vision for your life. You have to think strategically about the types of people you want to bring into the mix. Exposure to those with wide-ranging experiences and expertise not only makes for interesting conversations but presents you with opinions and potential solutions to problems you may not fully understand. Those close to you impact your decisions and influence your success, so surrounding yourself with a diverse
group of intelligent and motivated people is a must. Determining the quality of a person and whether they would be a good fit to add to your network is based around their character first and foremost. Traits that you want to consider are whether the person is trustworthy, authentic, responsible, social, fun, respectful, personable, compassionate, generous, patient, engaged, and intelligent (this include intellect or aptitude ranging in social intelligence, emotional intelligence, verbal intelligence, practical intelligence, or academic intelligence).
THE BALANCE THAT YOU STRIKE BY CALIBRATING YOUR NETWORK WILL PAY DIVIDENDS AND TRANSFORM YOUR RESULTS. WHEN WE ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO CHANGE A SITUATION, WE ARE CHALLENGED TO CHANGE OURSELVES. -VIKTOR E. FRANKL
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what holds most people back isn’t the quality of their ideas, but their lack of faith in themselves. you have to live your life as if you are already where you want to be. -russell simmons
Not everyone will possess all the aforementioned qualities, so you will need to place importance on which ones are non-negotiable. Make sure each candidate has at least 8 of these success traits as they aren’t difficult to reveal and showcase distinguished character. Now that you’ve done this through the evaluation process, you know what to look for in new people as you add them to your contact spreadsheet. Calibrate your network for diversity and robustness. There’s a good chance that the majority of your connections are in your age bracket, live close by, and share the arenas you most closely associate with. Mentors are vital to your growth, and help bridge the gap between where you are and want to be; they create a shortcut for you. Expanding your circles to include people in older age brackets helps build these shortcuts to getting you closer to your goals. They have experienced the challenges you’re going through already and can help you significantly with advice and sharing what they’ve
learned. The other side of that coin is to include those that are in a younger age bracket. Younger professionals in particular expose you to a new network with a different outlook, insights into upcoming technology, and a skill-sets that can help you get things done. As you grow into leadership positions, you will want to build your own trusted team and surround yourself with motivated, capable, and energetic individuals. By having connections with this experience level, you will be able to effectively build reliable and skilled teams to expedite your productivity at work. Expanding your connections outside of your immediate locale has several advantages including having friends to stay with while traveling, exposure to different industries and people that are particular to a certain region (ie the Technology Industry in Silicon Valley), or exposure to different business or societal cultures, problem solving approaches and ways of thinking. All of these are beneficial to you and your
ability to stand out and creatively develop your own unique approach and secret sauce for success. Advantages to exploring areas outside of your comfort zone will grow you and make you a better person. Your connections that fill out the major arenas are your comfort zone. You probably know a lot of people in your industry because you’re frequently exposed to these people and work with them. You likely have many contacts that are part of your passions and interests arena since you spend a lot of your time outside of work doing things you enjoy. Expanding your connections to arenas you don’t currently have a link to is critical for creating balance and tapping into the knowledge, experience, resources, and exposure to networks of people in those arenas. The balance that you strike by calibrating your network around these three primary approaches will pay dividends for you and transform your results.
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networkexecution || PUT YOUR PLAN INTO ACTION! BE GENEROUS, MAKE FRIENDS, AND HAVE FUN! As you begin to put your plan into action, you will need to develop a series of mindsets to strengthen your interaction and experiences. Refer to the list below and master your ability to incorporate each of these mindsets into your approach. Execution is all about making a plan, getting out there and getting reps, and building confidence and momentum. Repeat.
this includes you ladies). When you arrive, be sure to check your posture, stand up straight, shoulders back, head up and don’t forget to smile. This will make you feel more confident as you start to get positive feedback. The best thing about smiling is it makes you approachable; men can see that you’re unlikely to be a dick or weird, and women see you’re social and likely to feel safer around you.
Be Comfortable!
Be Active!
You want to feel good and relaxed when you’re out meeting people, so dress appropriately but be sure to be presentable and dress to the occasion. Know your audience and the crowd you will be meeting, don’t make the mistake of dressing inappropriately to a formal event. The best rule of thumb is over-dress if you aren’t sure what the dress code is. Comfortable shoes are essential, you will likely be on your feet for a couple of hours (yes,
You need to escape your comfort zone and be more social if you’re going to grow your network and improve your current relationships. Whether you decide to go to networking events or engage in more fun activities or groups, by simply being active you will end up meeting people and boosting your confidence in the process. Do some research and figure out what kinds of events you want to attend in your area based on the types of people you want to meet. Make a
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commitment to attend one event per month which will expose you to many new interesting individuals. As you get more reps in, you will be more comfortable, and you will find yourself making better connections.
Be Ahead of the curve! Don’t come from a place of need, start networking before you need it. The best time to find a new job is when you have a job. This
It is better to be hated for what you are THAN TO BE LOVED FOR WHAT YOU ARE NOT. -ANDRE GIDE
shifts your mindset to be naturally more confident and assertive, while removing any gross self-serving behavioral traits that turn people off. A magic thing occurs when you’re in this position of power, you have leverage and the ability to negotiate for your real worth. Leave your personal agenda at home; come in without expectations and you will have success building connections.
Be Generous, Make Friends, and Have Fun! This cannot be
understated. Valuable connections are those that are competent in their field or expertise and responsive when you reach out to them. This is important to remember when you’re evaluating those in your network and impacts how you will treat people from now on, be selective about who you will keep and bring into your life. Do you like it when you can’t get an
TAKE ACTION BE GENEROUS
answer from someone? Or if you have a simple question but they take three days to respond. Exactly, so make it a point to be there for those in your network. The rule of thumb is if you can provide an answer to a request in 5 minutes or less, do it right now! Don’t wait, stall, or put it off; build a habit of being generous and responsive because it will pay dividends when you need a favor. When you are engaging with new people, the most important question you can ask them is how you can help them. Showing that you’re not there to get anything from anyone but rather be of service is the most effective means of building valuable connections.
Be a problem solver! Everyone has
value to offer and your job is to ask the right questions to determine what each person’s strengths and contributions are. Don’t make the mistake of dismissing anyone based on any preconceived notions of their level of success or appearance. This will come back to bite you. Approaching people with curiosity and genuine interest in who they are and what they are passionate about will build strong rapport. Look for opportunities to connect people you already know (or just met at the event) with who you’re currently speaking to. This makes their job easy and gives you social brownie points,
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elevating your social capital and reputation in their eyes. The more you do this, the more the snowball effect takes place and begins to pay dividends for you. Doors will open and opportunities will present themselves as a result of your generosity. You will start to see your problems being addressed as the reciprocity kicks in from those you’ve helped.
Be Selective! Where you decide to spend your time networking matters a great deal. Different events attract different professionals and personality types. If you’re looking to meet a mentor with executive level experience then the convention floor is probably not a
suitable place to meet this person; joining a professional organization within that field is likely to yield much stronger results. The pond you fish in matters, so do your research and understand the marketplace. A resource list is available at Grit2Great.life for premiere networking events you should consider.
follow-upregularly || YOU MUST BE A RESOURCE AND PROVIDE VALUE. Now that you’re out there pushing your comfort zone and targeting specific people to strengthen your circles, you must follow up with the people you meet. Time, Energy, and Focus are necessary to grow the relationships with the new people you are meeting. You must become a resource and provide value for everyone in your circles. Remember, you don’t have to be in constant contact with those in your network, but you shouldn’t go too long without reaching out. As mentioned earlier in the description of your social circles, there are guidelines provided for how frequently you would typically communicate with your network members. There are many solid options for contact management especially business services called customer resource managers (CRM’s). These tools offer you a wide range of services that remind you when to reach out to people in assigned circles, help organize and track your network with data, and provide multiple avenues to reach out and communicate effectively. A list of resources are provided at the end of this document if you want to learn more about which products we would recommend for you to use. For your existing network, you will need to be in constant communication and follow through. Remember you have 150 relationships to maintain and grow, you need to be adding value, and individualizing your service to your valued connections. This means you need to capitalize on every free moment to constantly reach out and communicate with your team. To effectively do this, you will need tools to organize these connections and track who you reach out to and when; this system will hold you accountable to keeping up with the right people at the right time. When we say constant communication, it doesn’t mean you need to reach out to the same person constantly, but rather employ an effective strategy to regularly communicate with the collective top 150 in your network. Refer to the Social Circles section earlier in this document to get a rule of thumb for frequency of communication in your top 150 and acquaintances.
For your new connections, you will need to be persistent and follow up. Developing rapport and trust takes time, so you will need to prove repeatedly that you are a highquality high-value connection that provides generously for their team. It’s customary to send a thank you note after meeting someone at an event, the reason we emphasize a focused approach on quality connections is that you will need to reference what you discussed (and connected on) to show active engagement and listening, to offer value, and ultimately to show that you care. It’s customary to reach out and send a note the day after an event. If for some reason you don’t get a response, you can send a second follow up email one week later, but if that doesn’t go through then cease communication. This is rare though and unlikely to happen, if it does, you’re likely displaying a behavior that’s causing this reaction. Develop the mentality of a giver, always provide your network with value. Make sure to engage and actively listen to the other person during the conversation; this is your new friend so your willingness to help them will go a long way to building a stronger relationship. People love to talk about themselves and what they have going for them, so if you’ve gotten them discussing their interests, passions, and aspects of their career that excite them you’re on the right track! Active listening is a skill worth developing as you interact with more and more people. This ability to focus and retain the important information that the person is sharing goes a long way to building trust and developing rapport. As you follow up over time and bring up important points you’ve discussed previously it shows an acute ability to listen actively and displays that you care about the person.
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socialimpression || YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION IS VITAL, MAKE SURE YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA TELLS YOUR STORY PROPERLY. Your Social Media Impression is now your FIRST impression, it’s the primary way people that don’t know you, search for and find information about you. In the context of finding a job, recruiters and people looking to fill positions will search the internet for what comes up associated to your name. You need to take this seriously, as it could be the make it or break it reason for why you don’t get that job, or even that date. Your photos, profile, and what you post, whether you like it or not will send messages to others about you. This is no different than the first impression someone forms about you when you meet in person. In seconds, they will make a snap judgement about who you are and what type of person you are based on the way you present yourself, how confident you are, whether you have good or bad body language, whether you smile and make direct eye contact, the way that you’re dressed, and whether their gut says to trust you. While first impressions aren’t always right, people tend to cling to them and override any new data they’ve received since. So having a carefully curated approach will determine how others perceive you. 26 DEFINED Cultivate Social Capital
Networking is marketing. Marketing yourself, marketing your uniqueness, marketing what you stand for. -christine comaford-lynch Social Media platforms are a great way to establish your own brand and share your values. These platforms have made it easy to expand your circles and influence, but the key is to not get carried away and bite off more than you can chew by trying to manage relationships with over 150 people because the science backs up that you will not be able to sustainably carry on that amount of interaction successfully. These platforms are a tool that if used properly can enliven and enrich your real social life. If you want to be a value giving person than you will have to post value giving content.
Don’t post anything negative or offensive. Pretend that you’re a public figure and every move and action you take is highly noticed by the public, and more so everything that you say is then debated and criticized. If your life was played within these confines, your actions and verbiage would shift your value proposition. To create a lasting first impression, your profile needs to have good, well lit, clear (non-pixelated) portrait photos of you. You should be well dressed in this primary photo and smiling. The composition should not include other people or any type of scenery, it really needs to focus on you to showcase a level of pro-
fessionalism and confidence. A brief description is also integral and needs to be tailored to a 30,000 foot view of your passions and interests, what you do, and what you have to offer. The last component is to be active and post articles and information that adds value to the people within your network, being a regular contributor will build credibility and increase the traffic on your page. Providing a strong introduction to who you are will lead to many opportunities, connections, and potential jobs. This is a great way to be noticed by recruiters that will help place you into consideration for various positions. Social Media is a powerful tool because it gives you ac-
cess to everyone everywhere. You can connect with CEO’s, celebrities, politicians, and just about anyone you can think of, and none of this was possible just ten years ago. Aside from reaching out to a specific person you wish to target you can also find information about conferences, networking events, meetups, activities, companies, and various professional organizations to engage in.
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commontraps || While we have fixated on the actions necessary to be successful in this document, we want to make you aware of some common errors to avoid. The only way to learn is to put yourself out there and gain experiences, while you may fail along the way, don’t be discouraged, it’s all part of the learning process. You will be better for having the experience, especially if you learn from the mistake the first time (sometimes it takes a few instances to really grasp it). Remember that your mindset during these moments of disappointment is going to dictate your success. The way you frame the events that happen to you are huge, you can choose to internalize these as failures and it will become a repeating cycle, or you can ask yourself how this experience can help you or grow you. The reality of every situation is that you don’t know if that event is good or bad until years down the road, something that you’ve perceived as bad may be a blessing in disguise so always choose to lean positive. Remember, this is a CHOICE.
Remember to: 1. Make sure that you are networking in the right place for what your needs are or what you are looking for, this will only end up wasting your time and leaving you frustrated. 2. Make sure that the age bracket of those you are networking with matches the level you need to achieve your goals. 3.Make sure not to underestimate, misjudge, or disrespect the value of anyone that you meet. 4. Make sure you incorporate a system for engaging your network successfully and follow the principles we have provided you with this document. 5. Make sure you are meeting people with the intention of building long-term high quality relationships. 6. Make sure you don’t ask someone you’ve just met for anything, provide value first and get to know them. Once you have a relationship established, they will offer to help you in any way they can. Make sure not to ask someone for something out of the blue if you’ve lost contact with them. 7. Make sure you identify selfish people that are in it for themselves and not looking to provide anyone they meet with value, these takers are toxic, and will bleed you dry of anything they can get out of you. Make sure to avoid people that have either no character or showcase it in a limited capacity, life is too short to spend it with assholes. Make sure to avoid anyone that you believe to be a sociopath, these people are dangerous, avoid at ALL COSTS.
What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do. -RALPH WALDO EMERSON 28 DEFINED Cultivate Social Capital
concludingthoughts || TAKE ACTION EVERY DAY AND BUILD YOUR NETWORK Now that you are armed with new knowledge and tools for how to develop your ideal network, you need to put this plan into action. Each person will have different goals and objectives for what they want their network to support and accommodate, but the important thing to remember regardless of your personal aspirations are that anything you focus attention on will improve, so be active and put your best foot forwards, don’t be afraid to fail, and
surround yourself with the types of people that will make your dreams a reality. If you aren’t pleased with where you are in your life, begin the process of implementing what you learned here each day, and feel free to reach out for additional coaching if you really want to figure out this stuff and master it. Your network is the bridge to your success, offering you support, direction, motivation, access/influence, resources, and accountability.
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DEFINED CULTIVATE SOCIAL CAPITAL www.grit2great.life
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