TIPS FOR NEW CAREGIVERS

COVID-19 created a new generation of caregivers, but help is available

Jackie Carlin

An estimated 44 million adults in the United States have provided unpaid care to adults ages 65 and older in the past 12 months. With 10,000 Americans turning 65 every day, the number of caregivers will continue to grow over the next two decades.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, caregivers found themselves stretched thin in challenging and oftentimes heartbreaking new ways. Once again, this raised alarms that help, support and resources are critically needed for these invaluable helpers in our communities.

The Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving released a report called “Caregivers in Crisis,” which focused on the impact of the COVID-19 crisis on the mental health and wellbeing of caregivers. In a survey of more than 400 caregivers across 46 states, 83% reported increased stress related to caregiving since the start of the pandemic. Dr. Jennifer Olsen, executive director of the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving, said their findings reinforced their worst fears about existing and new caregivers.

“This is our emergency room moment; and if we do not begin to seriously address the needs of caregivers and provide the necessary supports, this indispensable, largely invisible component of our health care system is in danger of collapse,” Olsen said.

One of the first things new caregivers should do is educate themselves about the role they’re taking on.

“Don’t tell yourself that you know how to do this. There’s a lot to learn,” said Amy Cameron O’Rourke, who has more than 30 years of experience in health care, including 25-plus years in the field of aging, is a licensed nursing home administrator and is a certified care manager. “Get some really good books to read, do some research, go to educational series or workshops (many of which are now available online), and give yourself time to learn what you don’t know. Then seek professional help when you’re in over your head.”

O’Rourke said it’s also important for families to learn how to advocate on their loved one’s behalf, a skill that takes patience to develop. She said that includes standing your ground with physicians.

“There are so many really good physicians; but they’re in a hurry, they’re on a time clock, they’ve got to pay attention to volume,” O’Rourke said. “They don’t always have the time required to have the conversation. So, I say, ‘If now’s not the time, let’s talk when you do have the time because this is important.’ I try to be nice, but very firm and say, ‘We’re not going to make a decision until we get the time we need to make the decision.’”

O’Rourke advises her caregivers to give themselves grace to make mistakes and learn as they go. She said this is particularly true for adult children of older adults, many of whom try hard to be a perfect champion and caretaker for their aging parents.

“These are the difficult decisions you’ll be faced with as a caregiver. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect, to do everything right. It’s not possible,” she said. “Just be with your parent and understand that at times it’s going to be messy, and that’s really OK.”

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BE PATIENT. Encourage your care team, including physicians, to hit pause before making big decisions.

BE FIRM. These are your and your loved one’s decisions to make, and sometimes that means going against your physician’s advice.

BE PREPARED. Mentally and emotionally prepare yourself that this may be your new reality for years ahead.

BE AWARE. Remember you’re advocating for your loved one, not yourself. Follow their values.

The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.

– Blake Lively

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