Growing Bolder Digital Digest 63.6_Be Brave Issue

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Taking Care of Yourself As a caregiver it is vital that you care for yourself. Too often caregivers think they are being selfish when they put themselves first. It’s important to discern between selfishness and self-care. Sometimes caregivers forget to breathe and come up for air. They are so busy doing the caring that the basics of a healthy life get pushed by the wayside. The National Institute on Aging recommends being realistic about how much you can do and what you are willing to do. Think about your schedule and how it might be adapted to give respite to a primary caregiver. For example, you might try to coordinate holiday and vacation times. Remember that over time, responsibilities may need to be revised to reflect changes in the situation, your care recipient’s needs, and each family member’s abilities and limitations. Sometimes the caregiving team may live in the same area but sometimes the team (siblings, parents, friends) may live far away. Long-distance caregivers can have an important role, too, providing relief and support to the primary caregivers.

What Are Your Strengths? What are you good at and how can that help with the caregiving responsibilities? → → → → →

What Are Your Limits? Once you decide what you’re willing to do, you must then figure out what you aren’t able to do. What tasks would be better suited to someone else on the caregiving team? → → → →

THE ART OF CAREGIVING

Are you good at finding information, keeping people up-to-date on changing conditions, and offering cheer, whether on the phone or with a computer? Are you good at supervising and leading others? Are you comfortable speaking with medical staff and interpreting what they say to others? Is your strongest suit doing the numbers — paying bills, keeping track of bank statements, and reviewing insurance policies and reimbursement reports? Are you the one in the family who can fix anything, while no one else knows the difference between pliers and a wrench?

How often, both mentally and financially, can you afford to travel? Are you emotionally prepared to take on what may feel like a reversal of roles between you and your parent — taking care of your parent instead of your parent taking care of you? Can you continue to respect your parent’s independence? Can you be both calm and assertive when communicating from a distance? How will your decision to take on caregiving responsibilities affect your work and home life?

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