Growing Bolder Magazine: Vol. 26 by Growing Bolder

THE GROWING BOLDER AWARDS  CAREGIVERS AND ADVOCATES

Rebranding Aging®

AN 'OLD SOLDIER' BREAKS WAR'S SILENCE FIGURE SKATING: NOT AN IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

BROADWAY LEGEND GETS AN ENCORE At 84, Chita Rivera Is Living in the Moment and Still Wowing Audiences.

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MEET OUR PHYSICIANS MICHAEL JABLONSKI, MD

BRIAN K. BARNARD, MD

PRESIDENT, Arthroscopic

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Surgery of the Hand

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WADIH S. MACKSOUD, MS Surgery of the Hand, Elbow & Shoulder

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LUIS A. GANDARA, MD Primary Care Sports Medicine & Electrodiagnosis

PHILIP MEINHARDT, MD Surgery of the Spine

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General Orthopaedics, Knee Care, Sports Medicine, Joint Replacement

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CRAIG M. MINTZER, MD, MBA Arthroscopic Surgery of the Shoulder & Knee; Sports Medicine

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JOSE A. TORRES, MD

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TT ORTHOPAED WE IC JE

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CONTENTS NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

FEATURE

CHITA: NOWADAYS

DEPARTMENTS 5 | FROM THE EDITOR

6 | GROWING BOLDER WITH ...

20 | NEVER TOO LATE ® A photographer in pursuit of the ultimate strike. By Bill Shafer

7 | THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH Finally, making her ice-skating daydream come true. By Bill Shafer

22 | ROCK STARS OF AGING A 102-year-old teacher’s advice for happiness. By Marc Middleton

8 | ROAD TO RECOVERY Three things healthcare consumers should know. By Robert Masson, M.D.

26 | Growing Bolder Caregiving Institute One way to confront the monster under the bed. By Marc Middleton

Musical Theater Legend Chita Rivera Says This Very Moment is the Best Time of Her Life. BY JACKIE CARLIN

THE GROWING BOLDER AWARDS  CAREGIVERS AND ADVOCATES

REBRANDING AGING®

AN 'OLD SOLDIER' BREAKS WAR'S SILENCE

10 | 5 QUESTIONS A soldier shares his experiences to help others talk about war. By Jackie Carlin 18 | GROWING BOLDER FINANCIAL INSTITUTE Financial life lessons from the frontlines. By Jackie Carlin 4 GROWING BOLDER

28 | SURVIVING & THRIVING ® What to do when you are your own biggest obstacle. By Bill Shafer 30 | THE TAKEAWAY Caregivers must become advocates for their loved ones. Amy O'Rourke

FIGURE SKATING: NOT AN IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

BROADWAY LEGEND GETS AN ENCORE At 84, Chita Rivera Is Living in the Moment and Still Wowing Audiences.

ON THE COVER: Broadway icon Chita Rivera is 84 years old, but she's still entertaining her longtime fans — and making new ones — with a show called Nowadays. Cover and Table of Contents photos by Laura Marie Duncan NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

FROM THE EDITOR

Editor-in-Chief Marc Middleton Managing Editor Jackie Carlin Associate Editors Bill Shafer, Katy Widrick Contributing Writers Robert Masson, M.D., Amy Cameron O’Rourke Additional Photography Laura Marie Duncan, Friedman-Abeles, Ken Howard, Martha Swope Digital Development and Production Jason Morrow, Pat Narciso, Josh Doolittle, Mike Nanus Director of Circulation Jill Middleton

407-406-5910 One Purlieu Place, Suite 139 Winter Park, FL 32792 GrowingBolderMagazine.com All editorial content copyright 2016 by Bolder Broadcasting Inc. Growing Bolder is a registered trademark of Bolder Broadcasting Inc. Nothing may be reprinted in part or in whole without written permission from Bolder Broadcasting Inc.

PUBLISHED IN ASSOCIATION WITH

FLORIDA HOME MEDIA Group Publisher Randy Noles Art Director Jenna Carberg CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Harry Wessel Florida Home Media’s Family of Publications: THE OVIEDO-AREA BOOM  SPACE-AGE HOME TECHNOLOGY

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artsLife

A PLAYBOOK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

s we hope you know by now, Growing Bolder is not about denying aging or pretending that we don’t all go through significant changes and challenges as we age. Growing Bolder is not about defeating aging and becoming ageless. We’re all mortal beings. Aging, decline and ultimately death are inescapable facts of life. But just because we can’t defeat aging doesn’t mean that we have to run from it. Growing Bolder is about overcoming the dangerous and debilitating stereotypes of age, and embracing the nearly limitless opportunities of age. It’s a playbook for making the rest of your life the best of your life — at any age. It’s rejecting the notion that aging is a disease, and embracing the fact that it’s an opportunity. Sadly, some take a strange and tragic comfort in believing that it’s too late to reinvent themselves, to pursue missed opportunities or to cultivate new passions. Change involves risk. Learning involves failure. To many, new opportunities only mean new opportunities for disappointment. They prefer to believe that they’re beyond the age of possibility. They’ve come to enjoy the certainty of the cage that confines them. You’ve seen the prison movies. The old guys who are paroled after spending decades behind bars almost never want their freedom. They’ve lost the ability to make decisions for themselves, and are now comforted by their cage. But that’s not living. That’s simply existing while serving a life sentence. As 10,000 of us turn 65 each and every day, we’ve reached a tipping point, a critical juncture in our evolution as a society that will, to a large degree, inform the future of aging around the world for many generations. Will we celebrate or denigrate? Will we withdraw and allow our world to shrink, or will we advance and empower our world to grow? Will we live a life of passion, or serve a life sentence? Will we start Growing Bolder or simply continue growing older? 

FALL 2016

Inside the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts

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MEDICAL CITY UPDATE

Our annual look at what’s new in and around Lake Nona.

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407-647-0225 2700 Westhall Lane, Suite 220 Maitland, FL 32751 GROWINGBOLDERMAGAZINE.COM

Marc Middleton, Editor-in-Chief marcmiddleton@growingbolder.com GROWING BOLDER 5

GROWING BOLDER WITH

JIMMY OSMOND

Entertainer

“I’ve been in the business 50 years. I don’t say that with a badge of honor. I’m just shocked. I never thought show business would ever last for me, so I never took myself too seriously. I was the brunt of a lot of jokes growing up, because I was on TV all the time as a little kid. I just learned to roll with it. I was always open to try anything behind the scenes and, as a result, I ended up doing a lot of different jobs. I don’t have to be the star or anything. I just love being a part of the team. I feel so blessed with this life.”

Jimmy Osmond, the youngest member of the famed singing family, made his debut on The Andy Williams Show at the age of 3. Now, 50 years later, he’s paying tribute to Williams with his act, Moon River and Me. Osmond received his first Gold record at the age of 5, becoming the first Osmond to earn one.

BETSY HUGHES

Co-owner, Track Shack

“When I was in sixth grade, I was always the last to get picked for every sports team. The teacher made me captain just so I’d be on the team. When I was in high school, I started running, primarily to exercise, and I even joined the track team. I was never super-fast, but I was consistent, and I loved the feeling running gave me. My mom, who was 50, started running, too, when she saw how much I enjoyed it. She went on to do marathons in her 60s and 70s. She’s 87 now, and she’s still walking the neighborhoods. Running gives me a peace of mind — and a greater energy level to get through the day. I was lucky enough to meet and marry another runner, and we’ve made it our life’s dream.”

Together with her husband, Jon, Betsy Hughes has helped turn Track Shack from a running store into worldwide leader in running and fitness. The company will soon celebrate its 40th anniversary. Since then, it’s helped tens of thousands of walkers and runners finish their first events and incorporate fitness into their everyday lives.

LARRY ‘PRESKOOL’ WEISSMAN

“When I was still working for Wells Fargo, I learned how to DJ on the side, just as a hobby. As I got close to retirement, I realized I’m not the type of person who wants to hang out on a golf course. So I went to DJ school, and it’s been tremendous. I’ve never once felt like anyone was resentful of me being there because of my age, even though I was older than all my teachers, too. I play house music, and my shows are filled mostly with young people. I get to connect with them and share our love of music and dancing, which is what I was doing when I was 18. It keeps you feeling younger!”

Larry Weissman spent his early years putting on hundreds of concerts in San Francisco in the 1960s. He then “grew up” and got a job, working his way up to vice president of technology for Wells Fargo. Now he’s back to doing what he loves most — he’s immersed in music once again, this time dropping the beats for a new generation of music lovers as DJ PreSkool.

GB EXTRA Visit GrowingBolderMagazine.com to listen to our entire Growing Bolder Radio conversations with Jimmy Osmond and Larry Weissman. Plus, you can get more advice from Betsy Hughes in our Team Growing Bolder Track Shack Training Tips. 6 GROWING BOLDER

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH  Connie Curry had always dreamed of being a figure skater. At 60, she learned to skate. At 77, she participates in national and international competitions.

NO REGRETS

Finally Making Her Ice-Skating Daydream Come True. BY BILL SHAFER

s she looked into the dimming eyes of her 95-year-old father, Connie Curry struggled to accept the inevitable. There was still so much to cherish, so much she wanted to know. She asked him if he had any regrets. He looked into her eyes and asked, “Do you?” It was a question she couldn’t stop thinking about. Regrets? For most of her life she’d had a recurring daydream in which she was adorned

GROWINGBOLDERMAGAZINE.COM

in a bright, sparkly, form-fitting dress. She’d leap high into the cool, crisp air. After a gentle landing, she’d begin to twirl — slowly at first, then so quickly that she’d appear to be a blur. Finally, when she’d stop spinning, she’d strike a dramatic pose, peering up her outstretched arm to the rafters. Curry’s dream was to be a figure skater. “You know there are things you’ve always wanted to do,” her father said. “So, what’s stopping you?”

The answer, of course, was that 60-yearolds don’t usually learn to ice skate. But she couldn’t shake the certainty in her father’s voice. The next day, Curry drove to the rink. For the first time in her life, she laced up a pair of skates and glided into an entirely new chapter of her life. But this was reality. Curry was an excellent skater in her daydreams. In real life, however, she was terrible — at first. But that didn’t discourage her in the least. “I never did judge myself,” she says. “Maybe I should have, but every little thing I learned made me so excited that I could actually do something new. You just have to trust yourself, and know you’re going to be OK. You don’t have to succeed — you just have to get out there and try.” Seventeen years later, at the age of 77, Curry participates in national and international competitions. “I feel so joyful when I skate,” she says. “Even when I fall — which I do — I just get back up and keep doing it.” Learning to skate wasn’t the first time Curry set out to do something she wasn’t sure was possible. She didn’t learn to read and write until she was in college. “I was born with albinism, which is a condition characterized by lack of pigment,” she says. “One symptom is poor vision, so whenever I went to a lecture, I either had to get it the first time or not get it at all. So, using my memory and ability to focus, I ended up getting a master’s degree from St. Louis University.” Curry’s life is opening up like a giant blossom — yet there’s still much more she hopes to do. “I want to keep growing, and I want to pay attention to other people,” she says. “I love encouraging people. I love being a positive, motivating part of people’s lives.” Her parents, she says, always encouraged her “to get out there and experience things. They pushed me, encouraged me and made me look at my fears as something that could be overcome.” And just as they inspired her, now it’s Curry who’s inspiring others to follow their dreams. No regrets. 

GB EXTRA Visit GrowingBolderMagazine. com to listen to our conversation with Connie Curry and learn more about her passion for skating and living a life of no regrets.

GROWING BOLDER 7

ROAD TO RECOVERY Dr. Robert Masson says there are certain realities everyone should understand when seeking care for a spinehealth issue.

THE TRUTH

Three Things Healthcare Consumers Should Know. By Robert Masson, M.D.

s a minimally invasive microsurgeon specializing in spine health, I’ve seen it all — and my opinions, biases and beliefs are based upon many years of experience. Here are three considerations that I believe are important for everyone to understand, especially as we age. 1. There’s no quick fix. We work to inspire patients to understand and embrace what’s possible in terms of recovery — but it’s critical that we also help them understand reality. We live in a quick-fix culture, and while Americans have come to expect immediate results, there’s no such thing when it comes to most surgeries. Surgery is the easy part of recovery. The hard part is the behavior modification required to overcome the bad habits, unhealthy addictions and lifestyle tendencies that accumulated over a long period of time, leading to the need for an

8 GROWING BOLDER

orthopedic or a spine procedure. 2. Pain-free is a myth. Anybody who lives a full life, lives with some degree of pain. It’s how pain affects your ability to move and live that defines the extent of the disability. When surgery is indicated, prehabilitation and rehabilitation often involve working with, and working through, some level of pain. Those who are most able to do this can achieve amazing things in terms of total recovery. Those who are sidelined by every little ache and pain don’t do as well. Our goal isn’t to make aging people 100 percent painfree. Our goal is always to take someone who is losing functionally and movement and restore functionally and movement. 3. Coordinated team care delivers the best outcomes. Patients are often misled into thinking that they have to always see the doctor or a specific team member or they aren’t getting the best care. Modern

healthcare systems thrive when groups of people with shared excellence, shared communication and shared expertise all work together on the same team. All of my clinical team members have at least 15 years of experience in complex spine health and personal fitness — and are committed to walking the walk in terms of prevention and wellness and holistic care. They all pursue healthy lifestyles, and personally represent what it means to live the best you can. We’re a team with seamless connectivity and constant communication that crosses all boundaries, enabling us to offer a consortium of experts that are totally committed to each patient’s spine-health care. Having a disciplined, veteran team working alongside me dramatically enhances our ability to better care for each patient. At the end of the day, we’re more than just a surgical team. We’re a spine-health wellness team with experts, both inside and outside the hospital. When you meet with one of us, you meet with all of us. 

GB EXTRA Visit GrowingBolderMagazine. com to watch more of Dr. Robert Masson’s Road to Recovery Minutes.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

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5 QUESTIONS At 59, ex-Marine Terry McGowan decided that he wanted to serve his country again following the 9/11 attacks.

Breaking the Silence A Soldier Shares His Experiences to Help Others Talk About War. By JACKIE CARLIN

10 G R O W I N G B O L D E R

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

TERRY McGowan

never expected that, 30 years after his tour of duty as a Marine, he would find himself back in combat — at the age of 59. After the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, he wanted to serve again. A former beat cop, McGowan had recently retired from a 20-year career with the FBI, where he was an agent. He knew he had skills to offer in the new war. Since he was too old to reenlist, he joined an elite squad of high-ranking retired and active-duty military working with Marine military intelligence. He was first sent to Iraq, and his success there led to a position tailor-made for McGowan — he became a Law Enforcement Professional (LEP) with the Marines in Afghanistan. He writes about his experiences in a fascinating new book called The Silence of War: An Old Marine in a Young Marine’s War.

None of us ever know when, in the blink of an eye, our lives can change completely. For you, that moment was 9/11. How did those events affect you personally?

My first thought was, “I’m sorry I retired from the FBI.” I was glad when I did retire. It was a great organization, and I enjoyed the people and the work. But it was very stressful, and I was glad to leave the stress behind. But I wasn’t glad on that day. I thought I could get right back into this and help these guys track this case — but that wasn’t to be. The next best thing was joining the Marine Reserve. I called the recruiting officer. He was interested at first. But when he heard my age, he almost choked on his coffee. I joke that he said, “Don’t call us, we’ll call you. But only if aliens from space invade Los Angeles.” I knew at that moment I wanted to get back in the war, but I finished law school. So many young men I knew were going over and not coming back, and it really started to eat at me. You were older than any other Marine over there. How was your age an asset?

With age comes experience. I had the experiences of a trained Marine officer, and I also had the experiences of a 20-year law man, including working as an FBI agent. Those are experiences you can’t get if you’re a youngster. For example, on my first night in Gulistan (Afghanistan), I went out on patrol. I came back the next day and said, “There’s no Taliban in GROWINGBOLDERMAGAZINE.COM

town.” They said, “How do you know?” I said, “Because there’s music. The Taliban don’t like music. They beat you if they hear music.” They’ll tolerate religious music. but not good-time music, and I heard good-time music. It’s little things like that you pick up with experience. War is a grueling physical experience. How did you deal with it?

My brother calls me a mutant because I’m so fit for my age. Despite what it said on my birth certificate, I knew I could do the job. I didn’t have as much physical fitness as the younger guys, of course, so I was good for one patrol per day. They might do two per day and when they’d come back, they’d immediately start filling sandbags and running razor wire. And I’d take a nap. I called it the prerogative of an old man. I was able to do what I had to do, but I wasn’t as fit as those young guys. Still, they did accept me as a Marine. My nickname was Old Man. Hollywood loves to tell stories of war, but few of us have a real idea of what happens in a war zone. What's the reality?

The first thing I can say about movies is, if you watched things in real time you’d be bored to tears. In my book, I cover a year of the war. Try watching a year in real time in a movie! When it comes to battles, oftentimes the first attack would last about three hours. There’s a lot of trading

fire without effect, and sometimes there are lulls. When you’re sitting safe in your movie seat, you don’t feel the heat. You don’t smell the smells. You don’t feel the bullets whizzing by your head. You don’t wonder if, when you’re taking aim at night at a muzzle flash, whether or not you’re going to hit the guy behind the rifle. You’re not doing any of that. It’s all just different. Why did you write your book and what’s the message? What do you want everyone to know about war?

The title cuts right to the chase. When I started to write, I was just writing what happened. I sent the first draft to a friend of mine who’s featured in it. He told me he could only read about half of it, because he was crying. He said to me, “You’ve got to write this book. I want my family to know what I went through, and I can’t do it. I can’t tell them.” That’s what the silence of war is. Guys who go to war don’t talk about it. They might, on a few occasions, have too many beers and tell some story or another. But typically, they only talk about it to each other. The silence of war is broken by this book. You can kind of extrapolate that my experiences were typical of others’ experiences. When families read about me, they’ll understand their loved ones better. 

GB EXTRA Visit GrowingBolderMagazine.com to listen to our Growing Bolder Radio conversation with Terry McGowan, and find out the one thing that neither his family nor fellow soldiers ever knew about his experiences in Afghanistan.

G R O W I N G B O L D E R 11

Chita:

Nowadays BY JACKIE CARLIN

Musical Theater Legend Chita Rivera Says This Very Moment is the Best Time of Her Life.

At 84, the unstoppable Rivera is still performing and still "living in the moment." Her recent Carnegie Hall show was called, appropriately, Nowadays. 12 G R O W I N G B O L D E R

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

Photo by Laura Marie Duncan

Rivera's first Tony Award came for her role in 1984’s The Rink, in which she portrayed Liza Minnelli’s mother.

“The old saying goes, ‘How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice!’ Well, I’ve had a lot of time to practice for my first show at Carnegie Hall,” she tells Growing Bolder. What Rivera calls practice, most artists would call a dream career. Since making her Broadway debut in 1951 — at the age 14 G R O W I N G B O L D E R

of 18 — she’s come to exemplify the very best of the Great White Way. The 10-time Tony Award nominee (and two-time winner) is the first Latina to receive a Kennedy Center Honor. And in 2009, President Obama awarded her the Presidential Medal of Freedom, along-

side Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, Senator Ted Kennedy and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. “It’s just thrilling to me that I can still get up and do what I love to do every day,” she says. “I don’t have any secrets to healthy aging, like eating yogurt every day NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

Photo by Ken Howard

hita Rivera is a national treasure. After more than 65 years in show business, this musical theater goddess is still going strong. She’s a force of nature who originated some of the most iconic roles in Broadway history, including Rose in Bye Bye Birdie, Velma in Chicago, and, perhaps most beloved of all, Anita in West Side Story. And just weeks before her 84th birthday, she recently added another major achievement to her resumé — headlining a solo debut concert at Carnegie Hall, which she dubbed Nowadays.

Photo by Friedman-Abeles

Rivera played Rosie opposite Dick Van Dyke's Albert in Bye, Bye Birdie, which opened in 1960 and satirized the furor over an Elvis Presley-style rock star. GROWINGBOLDERMAGAZINE.COM

G R O W I N G B O L D E R 15

or something. But I love to laugh. I think laughing is vital. I also listen and I look. I use all the assets that God has given me.” Rivera’s Carnegie Hall show was a celebration of all the things she loves about life — especially her passion for living in the moment. “I love the title of the show,” she says. “It just came out of my mouth one day. I thought it would be a good idea to call it Nowadays because I so live in the moment. We should all live in the moment. And at this time in my life, Nowadays just sounds so good.” The title is also a nod to the song of the same title from the original 1975 Broadway production of Chicago, which ran for 936 performances until 1977. The show would mark the beginning of Rivera’s long-time collaboration with composer John Kander and lyricist Fred Ebb. The duo wrote the song “Nowadays” for her and costar Gwen Verdon, who played Roxie. “Using that title for my Carnegie Hall show just feels very full circle,” Rivera says. “This was quite an honor for me. To be honest, I never thought I’d play Carnegie Hall. But I’ve never been a dreamer. I’m a doer.” 16 G R O W I N G B O L D E R

In light of her storied career, Rivera might well have chosen to name her show Yesterdays. But that would have been, well, out of character. “That’s what we owe to each other — to share our knowledge and passions,” she says. “I’ve had so many great artists tell me they’d been thinking about giving up performing. But after seeing me, they realized they had more they wanted to say and do. That’s good stuff.” Rivera says her career demonstrates that every life experience is important to your journey. In the 1970s, during pre-production for Chicago, famed choreographer Bob Fosse suffered a heart attack. While the rest of the cast waited for him to recover, the production team decided to create some club shows, with Kander and Ebb writing numbers specifically for Rivera. These days, when she’s not starring in a Broadway show, she travels the world, appearing in clubs and still performing those Kander-Ebb songs from so many years ago. “My club shows are just another way for me to express myself.” Rivera says. “I constantly

get to meet and entertain new people.” Rivera is also proud of the roles she’s chosen to play, since many of those roles remain relevant and can still teach us lessons today. “Unfortunately, we’re still dealing with a lot of the same horrible problems that we tackled in shows like Kiss of the Spider Woman and West Side Story,” she says. “Spider Woman examined the differences between people — and understanding one another without being frightened of one another.” Kiss of the Spider Woman was another Kander-Ebb collaboration, and it earned Rivera her second leading actress Tony Award. Her first was for her role in 1984’s The Rink, yet another Kander-Ebb musical, in which she portrayed Liza Minnelli’s mother. “Even when I’m tackling dark subject matter, it’s important because we all need to deal with those things in our lives,” Rivera says, adding that one of the keys to her longevity is surrounding herself with people and experiences she loves. “I’ve been so inspired by so many people,” she adds. “They’ve made me what I am today, and I hope I can do that for the young dancer, or the young actor or the young anything.” NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

Photo by Martha Swope

It was just prior to the 1975 opening of Chicago, in which Rivera costarred with Gwen Verdon, that Rivera developed her club show with songwriters John Kander and Fred Ebb.

As the firebrand Anita in West Side Story, which opened in 1957, Rivera created an iconic Broadway character.

She adds: “I’d also love to inspire older people who think they can’t do anything anymore. Of course they can! They just have to share it, care about it and do it.” Rivera encourages us all to find ways to make someone’s day just a bit brighter.

“You can tell I’m not a loner,” she notes. “That’s what keeps me on stage. It’s my way to communicate with the part of the world I’m exposed to. I don’t want a minute to go by without inspiring or enlightening another person in some way.” 

GB EXTRA Visit GrowingBolderMagazine. com to listen to our Growing Bolder Radio conversation with Chita Rivera and learn more about her exciting life … nowadays!

BE PREPARED THIS SEASON DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE NOW Photo by Martha Swope

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G R O W I N G B O L D E R 17

GROWING BOLDER FINANCIAL INSTITUTE

Jeannette Bajalia says women are particularly at risk for financial hardship as they age. She describes the number of women 70 and older living in poverty as an epidemic.

IT'S ABOUT YOU Financial Life Lessons From the Frontlines. BY JACKIE CARLIN

or Jeannette Bajalia, money is personal. It’s not all about facts, figures and investments. It’s about integrating all aspects of your life into one life plan. It’s a lesson she learned the hard way. When she was just 26 years old, Bajalia found herself thrust into the role of primary caregiver of her newly widowed mother. Her father died unexpectedly at the age of 63, leaving her mother with a mortgage, no life insurance and a $542 monthly Social Security check. Bajalia stepped in to take care not only of her mother, but of a great aunt, too. It would be a role Bajalia would fulfill for 33 years. At the age of 55, Bajalia retired after a successful career as a corporate executive and sought retirement planning help and support. She was stunned by what she discovered.

18 G R O W I N G B O L D E R

“I approached five financial advisors thinking that they understood the difference between planning and investing,” she recalls. “And after the fifth financial advisor, I realized they didn’t know. They couldn’t differentiate.” Those experiences in financial advisors’ offices — coupled with what she’d learned taking care of her mother — inspired Bajalia to join a financial services firm, and shortly thereafter launch her company, Woman’s Worth®, which is dedicated to changing the way individuals and families approach retirement planning. “I decided there needed to be a transformation in how baby boomers were served by the financial services industry,” Bajalia says. “I consider myself an integrated retirement planner. I’m a life planner. I believe in strategic life planning, because you have to

think of the future in the context of today.” The key to success in any retirement journey, she adds, is having the appropriate plan to determine how much money you need to accomplish the lifestyle you’ve spent decades dreaming about. At Woman’s Worth®, Bajalia says, the company integrates tax planning, estate planning and financial planning, as well as healthcare planning. That’s because one of the greatest risks to retirement is escalating costs for both routine and long-term care. Bajalia notes that one of the things the financial services industry gets wrong is its sole focus on finances. “When you’re planning for the future, you should be thinking about more than the money,” she says. “It’s about total well-being. Total well-being integrates a multitude of disciplines, which the financial industry is not taking into consideration. That’s why I came out of retirement and said, ‘My mission in life is to transform how men and women are serviced by the financial industry.’” Bajalia believes that women, in particular, are at greater risk for financial failures in the future. She says we’re facing “an epidemic of women living in poverty beyond the age of 70.” Women still end up being the primary NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

caregivers to their children, their spouses and their aging parents, which requires them to step in and out of the workforce throughout their careers. “We’re seeing reports indicating that some women lose anywhere between $400,000 and $600,000,” she says. “That’s because on average, they’re out of the workforce about 19 years. When you look at the Social Security implications, women tend to have lower checks and not enough savings.” A side effect of these circumstances is a disturbing trend — more and more women over the age of 70 are re-entering the workforce, not because they want to, but because they need to in order to survive. “It breaks my heart. It’s my personal mission to help women,” Bajalia says. To help achieve that mission, we’re proud to partner with Bajalia to launch the Growing Bolder Financial Institute. Through expert videos and online summits, the institute will help you navigate through the years ahead. “I’m really excited to partner with Growing Bolder on our shared mission to educate people about the crucial importance of taking care of themselves in order to take care of their wealth,” she says.

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Bajalia, after a successful career as a corporate executive, became caregiver to her mother, Nijmeh. She was shocked at how little help financial advisors were able to give, and decided that she would work to change the way individuals and families approach retirement planning.

Adds Bajalia: “You can have all the money in the world, and you could blow it in the healthcare system. And we don’t want that. You want to do the things that you’ve dreamed about doing — and we’re going to help you do that.” 

GB EXTRA Visit GrowingBolderMagazine.com to get more financial and life planning advice from Jeannette Bajalia in her Growing Bolder Financial Institute Minutes.

G R O W I N G B O L D E R 19

NEVER TOO LATE 

Photographer David O. Stillings, known as the Lightning Stalker, is still in hot pursuit of the ultimate strike. "Lightening is the most powerful, most elusive force in the world," he says.

STORMCHASER A Photographer in Pursuit of the Ultimate Strike. BY BILL SHAFER

‘I

love this job! I’m a little iffy about the pay, but I love this job!” Every day, David O. Stillings shows up at the Stormy Weather Gallery and Frame Shop in Casselberry, Florida, hoping to perhaps sell a print. It’s his work, but it’s not his office. That would be wherever he can find the nearest thunderstorm. Stillings is the Lightning Stalker, one of the best-known, mostrespected photographers of lightning in the country. “Now imagine, I was a 16-year-old kid without any real education,” he says. “I had no hope of going to college, and I clearly remember thinking, ‘What am I going to do with my life?’ It’s not like I didn’t try everything I could. I did drywall, I did roofing. I tried all the jobs I could do.” That included trying his hand as a wed20 G R O W I N G B O L D E R

ding photographer. “Too many receptions lasted beyond sunset,” he says. “And there I was, waiting for them to cut the cake while a great storm would be beckoning off in the distance. So I gave up weddings and began my pursuit of the ultimate strike.” Forty years later, it’s his greatest passion. “It’s been a real interesting life,” Stillings says. “I don’t make much money, but I don’t really care. I love doing what I do.” To Stillings it’s all about the art. “Lightning is the most powerful, most elusive force in the world,” he adds. “Every strike is different, every one elusive. To capture that instant is always exhilarating.” Exhilarating, and often dangerous. “Oh, I’ve had some close calls, but I’m as careful as possible,” he says. “I mean, I’m crazy but I’m not stupid!” To Stillings, lightning is a metaphor for the vast opportunities in life. That leads

to his second passion: dreaming. “It’s not about asleep dreams,” he clarifies. “It’s the ‘sitting in rush hour traffic waiting for the light to turn green’ dreams. Mine start with five words: Wouldn’t it be neat if…” Dreaming, in turn, leads to his third passion: poetry. Lightning and dreaming inspire his poems. So, for someone who had no idea what to do with his life, Stillings has led one that’s been thrilling and fulfilling. He’d love to inspire you to keep dreaming, too. “One of the gifts that God gave to man was the gift to make dreams come true.” He sums up his philosophy best in a poem: To share this gift, to share my dream, is to share energy with you. I ask you to dream, and believe in your dream, that is the final key. And I thank you for listening, and for taking your time, for the Poetry Man, for the Lightning Stalker, and for me. Thank you. 

GB EXTRA Visit GrowingBolderMagazine.com to watch our feature story on David O. Stillings and to see more of his gorgeous lightning photos.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

We Practice What We Teach. We are UCF Health

David Weinstein, M.D. Dermatology

UCF

Health

As UCF College of Medicine physicians, scientists and teachers, we’re discovering innovative solutions to today’s medical challenges. And at UCF Health, we bring these advancements to you.

LAKE NONA

UNIVERSITY BLVD.

Schedule an appointment at 407-266-DOCS or visit UCFHealth.com

College of Medicine Practice

MEDICAL CITY

EAST ORLANDO

ROCK STARS OF AGING ® Agnes Zhelesnik, America's oldest teacher, celebrates her 102th birthday with her daughter, also named Agnes. "Granny," as her students call her, teaches lessons in what used to be called home economics as well as life.

ROLE MODEL

A 102-Year-Old Teacher’s Advice for Happiness. BY MARC MIDDLETON

henever we hear about the world’s oldest anyone, we seek them out and try to interview them. The world’s oldest bowler, volunteer, CEO, dancer, author — it really doesn’t matter. We want to interview them all. And not just to celebrate their passion and vitality, but also to learn what we can from them. When we heard about 102-year-old Agnes Zhelesnik, America’s oldest teacher, we quickly tracked her down. Zhelesnik works 35 hours every week at the Sundance School, a private, arts-infused school in North Plainfield, New Jersey, for Pre-K to 5th grade students. Amazingly, she didn’t start her teach22 G R O W I N G B O L D E R

ing career until she was 81. “My daughter teaches at the school and encouraged me to teach there as well,” she says. Zhelesnik, or “Granny” as everyone calls her, teaches what we used to call home economics, a subject dropped by most schools in recent years. She believes it’s more important than ever for both girls and boys. “I teach basic cooking and sewing tips,” Zhelesnik says. “This is something all of the children will use for the rest of their lives. They’ll remember it as they get older.” “Granny is a beam of light,” Principal W.J. O’Reilly told the Courier News of Bridgewater, New Jersey. “She has a gentle strength and warmth that emanates from her at all times. We have this incredible opportunity to be in her presence, and to

be able to learn from her. Everyday she’s very, very positive, very motivated.” Zhelesnik believes one of the secrets to her active longevity was her diet as a child. “It’s not really my secret, it’s my mother’s secret,” she says. “She gave us good food, organic vegetables and whole milk. You have to eat good food when you’re young, and I try to help my students learn how to do that.” Zhelesnik enjoys the attention she’s getting as America’s oldest teacher — and has no plans on retiring. “I love being with the children, and don’t want to stop teaching as long as I’m well and able to do things,” she says. Her advice to the rest of us? “Treat the children well. They’re going to take care of you one day. And just be happy with what you’re doing! That’s the real secret.” 

GB EXTRA Visit GrowingBolderMagazine.com to listen to our conversation with Agnes Zhelesnik and to learn more about her passion for teaching.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

It’s National Hospice Month

ovember is National Hospice and Palliative Care Month, a time when hospices all across the country raise awareness of the comprehensive and merciful works that hospice care provides for patients who are entering the end-stage of life. Cornerstone Hospice will be joining in this year’s monthlong event with special programs that highlight the contributions its staff and programs make to families facing end-of-life challenges. It is important to point out that hospice is not a place. Rather, it is an integrated family of services provided by caring professionals that has physical, emotional and spiritual components to help ease patients and their families through the transition of life’s final stages. Most patients prefer to travel their final journey surrounded by the familiar comforts of their own homes. Those who cannot can still find the same comfortable care at one of several Cornerstone Hospice Houses or inpatient units. Cornerstone Hospice is blessed with many programs that have expanded and been refined over the years, and these programs provide exceptional service to our patients and their families. But

far beyond this, it is the people implementing them who truly make a difference in the quality of care Cornerstone is able to deliver. The instant a call comes in — and Cornerstone receives over 6,000 calls a year — an entire interdisciplinary team mobilizes to answer the need. Physicians, nurses, hospice aides, grief counselors, therapists, social workers, chaplains and the most valuable resource — trained hospice volunteers — are ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice. Once they do, this extraordinary group of professionals is assigned to one patient and his or her family. The care is all-encompassing and on call 24/7. Additionally, Cornerstone has adopted a seven-day casemanagement model with teams of registered nurses that cover every day of the week to meet the needs of the patient and maintain a continuity of care. Cornerstone Hospice has been serving Lake, Sumter, Orange, Osceola, Hardee, Highlands and Polk counties in Central Florida for over 30 years. For information about Cornerstone Hospice, please call 1-866-742-6655 or visit cshospice.org. 

We’re proud to serve those who served. Cornerstone provides care and service to American Veterans experiencing life-limiting illnesses with a comprehensive hospice program respectfully celebrating Veterans’ service to our country. Whether they served at home or abroad, they are provided care that recognizes the challenges unique to military families.

Cornerstone Hospice has achieved the highest level of accreditation — Four Stars — through the We Honor Veterans* program, thereby providing the highest quality of care for Veterans facing a life-limiting illness.

We’re in your corner. We Honor Veterans

866.742.6655 cornerstonehospice.org

*A national initiative in collaboration with the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization and the Department of Veterans’ Affairs. Cornerstone is committed to caring for all hospice patients regardless of payer source or ability to pay. 100% covered by Medicare & Medicaid

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G R O W I N G B O L D E R 23

GROWING BOLDER AWARDS

JOIN US AND LET'S MAKE HISTORY

n December 8, we’re making history with the first annual Allegro Presents the 2016 Central Florida Growing Bolder Awards, brought to you by the Senior Resource Alliance and the Winter Park Health Foundation. The event is designed to celebrate the possibilities of age while calling attention to the basic needs of the rapidly growing number of older members of our communities. The awards breakfast will be held at the state-of-the-art Full Sail Live with a red-carpet entrance, live entertainment and much more. Award categories include: Intergenerational, Business/Entrepreneur, Volunteerism, The Arts, Late Bloomers, Caregivers,

Advocates-Change Makers, Geriathletes™, Lifelong Learning, Tech Whiz, Adventurous Spirit, Social Butterfly and more. The January issue of Growing Bolder will have a complete recap of the awards, including a list of winners and other highlights of this first-of-its kind event. All proceeds will benefit the livesaving and life-changing work of the Senior Resource Alliance. Individual tickets are still available for $35, with tables for eight for $250. We also have a few sponsorship and award-naming opportunities left. For more information on how you can attend or support this important event, visit GrowingBolderAwards.com. 

VEHICLE DONATION PROGRAM

In with the new & out with the old!

Donate your car to 90.7 WMFE so you can start 2017 off fresh and get that new car you’ve been wanting. Donating saves you from all the hassles that come with selling an older car or paying for those hefty repair bills. We’ll make donating your vehicle fast, easy and efficient!

Simply call 866-963-3288 or visit wmfe.org/vehicle 90.7 WMFE is member-supported public radio for all of Central Florida. On air, online, on mobile and in the community. 24 G R O W I N G B O L D E R

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

THE MOST

ACCURATE AMY SWEEZEY | MORNINGS 4:30 AM - 9 AM

Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

JOIN THE Growing Bolder REVOLUTION!

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G R O W I N G B O L D E R 25

Growing Bolder Caregiving Institute Instructor Bob Kodzis leads a Brain Fitness Club participant in an improvisation game designed to held keep minds agile and to overcome fear of failure that many Alzheimer's patients experience.

FIT BRAINS

One Way to Confront the Monster Under the Bed. BY MARC MIDDLETON

ultiple studies reveal that adults now fear dementia more than cancer or cardiac disease. Alzheimer’s has become the monster under the bed for older adults — and the only way to deal with the fear of the monster is to get down on your hands and knees and look under the bed. That’s how we have to deal with Alzheimer’s. We can’t pull the covers over our heads and hope it doesn’t find us. We have to confront it by learning as much as we can about it.

26 G R O W I N G B O L D E R

We have to improve our lifestyles to reduce or delay our chances of getting it. We have to help fund critical research and support organizations that serve those with dementia. And we have to talk about it. When we heard about the Brain Fitness Club in Winter Park, Florida, we were anxious for a peek inside, for an opportunity to speak with its organizers and perhaps even some of its members. We assured the club that we would respect the privacy of those who didn’t want to be identified or interviewed. Surpris-

ingly, most members were anxious to share their stories in hopes of helping others. “I used to think that I was alone,” says member Lucy McBean. “And I did more crying than anything else, because I didn’t know that other people we’re going through the same thing. Now I don’t feel bad if I don’t understand something or I don’t remember something. I just say, ‘I don’t remember.’” “All of the Brain Fitness Club members have a memory impairment of some sort,” says Director Peggy Bargmann, a registered nurse specializing in gerontology who has been an innovator in the field of brain health for decades. “They’re all in the very early stages, so they all know they have memory impairment and they want to be here.” When we visited, instructor Bob Kodzis was leading members in an improvisation game designed to keep their minds agile, and to help them overcome their nearly constant fear of failure. “People with memory challenges don’t easNOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

Two Brain Fitness Club members celebrate a joyfull moment during a class. “All of the Brain Fitness Club members have a memory impairment of some sort,” says Director Peggy Bargmann, a registered nurse specializing in gerontology. “They’re all in the very early stages, so they all know they have memory impairment and they want to be here.”

ily forgive themselves for forgetting, and that decreases their quality of life,” Kodzis says. “Improvisation teaches them that it’s OK to make mistakes, and it’s OK to forget.” The Brain Fitness Club offers three 14week semesters every year. Sessions take place twice weekly for four hours each day, and cover everything from nutrition and exercise to the very latest therapies and facilitation techniques. In addition, graduate clinicians from the University of Central Florida’s Communication Disorders Clinic, supervised by a professor, conduct thorough assessments of each member’s strengths. Based on that evaluation, an individualized plan of care is developed. “We’re a capabilities-based program, so we don’t look at disability at all,” says Bargmann. “We only look at what our members can do, not what they can’t. Instead of a rehab program that takes what’s broken and tries to fix it, we focus on what’s working well GROWINGBOLDERMAGAZINE.COM

and develop ways to keep doing well at it.” The International Council on Activity Aging has named the Brain Fitness Club one of North America’s most innovative active-aging programs — and it’s easy to see why. “This is a really good place to come and be yourself,” says member Nancy Dulniak. “We’ve learned not to be afraid of saying the wrong thing or forgetting something, because we all have that problem. It’s a safe place.” Annette Kelly, a nationally known Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner, college professor and senior advocate, is one of the many highly skilled advisors to the program. “The goal is to provide proven, success based, brain-friendly activities and teach lifestyle adaptations in a nurturing social environment,” she says. Kodzis volunteers his time and talent because he loves spending time with his elders — and he’s a big fan of the women who run

it. “I call them the Justice League,” he says. “They’re focused on helping people as they age; to age in place, to age healthily and to get the most out of life. I love these ladies, and I love what they do.” The Brain Fitness Club is not only improving lives of members and their families, it’s also sending a message that a patient asked Bargmann to deliver years ago: “He said, ‘When people hear that I have Alzheimer’s disease, they expect me to be in a nursing home drooling, and I’m not. I’m living. I want people to know that you can live with Alzheimer’s disease. Get out there and stop the stigma that we’re living with.’ That’s been my mission ever since.” 

GB EXTRA Visit GrowingBolderMagazine.com to watch our feature story on the Brain Fitness Club and to find out how you can get in contact with its organizers for more information.

G R O W I N G B O L D E R 27

SURVIVING & THRIVING ®

Eric Wilson was a chaplain's assistant in the Army before deciding to become a medical doctor. Wearing a while lab coat instead of a khaki vest, he shares a smile with Deborah German, M.D., dean of the UCF College of Medicine.

SURVIVING YOU

What to Do When You Are Your Own Biggest Obstacle. BY BILL SHAFER

s we move forward on our journeys through life, we all face unexpected obstacles. Accidents and illness can strike without a moment’s notice. But sometimes, the toughest obstacle we face is ourselves. Eric Wilson didn’t figure that out until he found himself on a battlefield in Iraq. But the realization hit him with stunning force and clarity. He, and no one else, was the source of his struggles. And it started, he realized, in grade school. “You don’t get me,” he’d complain to his teachers. “I know what I’m doing, and don’t need any help from you.” Suddenly, he knew where the real blame lay. For years, he’d allowed his stubbornness to steer his life. He was thrilled to graduate from high school so he could do whatever he wanted. Only there wasn’t anything he really wanted to do. So he drifted from one pointless job to another. “I probably did that for two or three years,” Wilson recalls. “Struggling, flopping around and realizing I wasn’t going 28 G R O W I N G B O L D E R

anywhere. I knew I had to make a very strong change.” He sought more structure — and knew exactly where to find it: “I needed an attitude adjustment, so I joined the Army.” After enlisting, Wilson bounced around from role to role until he was assigned to serve as a chaplain’s assistant. The position forced him to stop thinking only of himself. It exposed him to the problems of fellow soldiers, some of whom were dealing with issues of life and death. Suddenly, he saw his own frustrations in a whole different light. “I realized it’s not the world that’s not working — it’s me,” he says. “I’m the malfunctioning cog in the wheel.” Just as important, he discovered what he’d been searching for in his life: the chance to help and to make a difference in the lives of others. But it wouldn’t happen overnight. “It took me seven years after leaving the Army just to get my life in order,” Wilson recalls. “I was in debt, I had a mortgage, and I knew that before I could do any-

thing, I had to find work and figure out how to reset my life. It wasn’t easy, but it was something I had to do.” Wilson paid off his bills and set his sights on becoming a medical doctor. Why? “There’s something about choosing to lead,” he says. “I learned to enjoy shouldering the burden of responsibility. As a doctor, I can be there to help others face their most serious challenges.” Wilson was accepted at the University of Central Florida College of Medicine — a place he calls a perfect match. “UCF’s vision is to develop each individual student according to his or her passions, interests and desires,” he says. “They ask, ‘What do you want to do? What are your dreams? Where do you want to go? And then they’ve got your back. To me, that’s everything.” Not many students begin medical school at the age of 40 —and Wilson knows he has many challenges ahead of him. But he insists that being older isn’t one of them. “Age isn’t an obstacle as long as you remain pliable,” he says. “I’m not set in my ways. I’ve learned to open my mind and take things as they come. I just know now that I’ll make a difference.” 

GB EXTRA Visit GrowingBolderMagazine.com to watch our feature story on Eric Wilson and see him get his official white coat, kicking off his medical school journey.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016

BOLDER EXPERTS

Great T

RIGHTSIZING

Are You Using Your Equity — or is it Using You? BY PAUL AND LYN HENDERSON

oes your home set you free, or hold you back? Take a close look. You might think of equity as a good thing, but is it working for you or are you working for it? It isn’t doing much good if it’s tied up in extra bedrooms or rarely used dining and living rooms. Then there are those swimming pools and big yards that you don’t need and don’t wish to care for.

What if you traded some equity for some financial freedom, for more leisure time and for less stress? Aging can mean you’ve earned the freedom to do more of what you want to do and less of what you have to do. But it won’t happen if you’re tied down by a house that doesn’t fit your needs. The answer is not to downsize, but to rightsize your life. Rightsizing means living somewhere that frees you from the nagging maintenance that no longer suits your lifestyle. That could mean a condominium, townhome or active-adult community. No yard care and better healthcare equals more freedom. Freedom represents “seizing life” for what it is, wherever you are in your journey. It’s all about doing things on your terms, and when you decide to. It’s about your priorities and your passions. You have the power today to create your life tomorrow; maybe retire sooner and travel more often. It’s all about using what you’ve earned over the years to best work for you. 

Paul and Lyn Henderson hold SRES® certifications and are the founders of GreatTRANSITIONS®. The Hendersons developed this concept from more than 25 years of personal and professional experiences. The program is designed to help people transition to the next place they call home. For more information and to hear their radio segments visit www.Great-Transitions.com.

Always Watching, Always Tracking. www.news4jax.com GROWINGBOLDERMAGAZINE.COM

G R O W I N G B O L D E R 29

THE TAKEAWAY

AMY O'ROURKE

Caregivers Must Also Become Advocates.

n estimated 42 million adults in the U.S. have provided unpaid care to adults aged 65 and older in the past 12 months. With 10,000 Americans turning 65 every day, the number of caregivers will continue to grow over the next two decades. Rosalynn Carter said it best: “There are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.” As a caregiver, you become an advocate. To help make key decisions, you must understand your loved one’s wishes regarding the kind of care and intervention that is wanted — or not wanted — as his or her life nears its end. This requires discussions that can be difficult. But it’s important that such discussions begin well before there’s a health crisis. You need to fully understand and follow the values of your loved one — not your own. That can be really hard to do. The healthcare system is designed to treat, fix and cure. However, some older people may not be fixable, treatable or curable. It’s possible that they might not make it out of surgery, might not be able to walk because of surgery and might not be able to eat because of surgery. If your parent ends up in the hospital, slow everything down and buy some time before immediately being swept into a series

of tests. Tell the doctors or nurses, “Let me take a few minutes and think about this. Let me talk to my siblings. Let me talk to my parent.” Ask yourself and your parent, “If, as a result of these tests, we find a medical problem — are we going to do what they recommend we do?” If the answer is no, then do you really need the test? If the recommendation is going to be an invasive surgery that your parent doesn’t want, then you don’t want the test. There’s a common frustration when you’re caring for someone that you have to do something — that you have to intervene. Most of the older people that I work with don’t want that kind of intervention. Usually, they don’t even want to go to the hospital. The hardest thing to do is to simply let them be. And to really be with them — and slow things down so that you can actually let them ride out their time in a very respectful way. These are the difficult decisions you’ll be faced with as a caregiver. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect and to do everything right. It’s not possible. Just be with your parent, and understand that at times it’s going to be messy and that’s really OK. Finally, if you have an aging parent, ask yourself what would you need to do in order to have no regrets — and then do that thing. You want to be able to lay your head on the pillow at night and say to yourself, “I have no regrets.” 

“You need to fully understand and follow the values of your loved one — not your own.”

Editor’s Note: Amy Cameron O’Rourke is founder and president of the Cameron Group. O’Rourke has 30 years of experience in healthcare, and 23 years of experience in the field of aging. She holds a master's degree in Public Health and a master's certificate in Gerontology. She is also a Licensed Nursing Home Administrator and a Certified Care Manager.

30 G R O W I N G B O L D E R

GB EXTRA Visit GrowingBolderMagazine.com to watch Amy O'Rourke's Art of Caregiving Minutes and get more advice for navigating the world of caregiving.

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