El Paso & Juárez

My life these days is a series of questions related to humanity. Why do some conditions exist for some and not others? How do marginalized people survive, being invisible and discriminated against again at the same time? What can I do to be a role model and what can everyone do to lessen this situation?

I spend all of my free time with the houseless in downtown Seattle. As a brown person myself, I have a certain privilege, to find out their true stories, and I’ve learned to ask the questions that can maybe get answers from my community. It’s hard! I hear many stories of loss, illness, emotional / mental instability, addiction, and just people being overwhelmed on the streets every day.

In the hair salon, on my chairs, I hear stories of abundance and hopefulness. I ask myself, how can I merge the two worlds? How can I reconcile what I know to be reality? Should I walk away or retreat when the world isn’t going my way? I don’t think so! I need my heart racing and my brain going 24/7. I am blessed with a small but mighty community family of friends who know me really well! I text them often about these issues and thoughts. I have traveled the world meeting people and asking these questions. It was only a matter of time before I knew I had to go home, back to Texas, to the border, and see for myself. So I woke up this morning thinking I should be in El Paso.

As a native Texan, living in Seattle, I think a lot about life on each side of the border (El Paso & Juarez). According to the news, there's a war going on there. But I looked it up, and it’s the complete opposite on paper. I think a lot about what is the reality for people there and I decided I cannot understand the truth without seeing this for myself. So off I went to El Paso to learn. There are many important decisions to make.

I cancelled the rest of my week’s appointments and bought a plane ticket. I had no idea what to expect. I did call my aunt there, asking her all of these questions. She was very honest, saying that she has no answers or connections. She did help me with the tourist info. Once again, I’m figuring it out for myself. Perhaps that’s how it should be.

Listening to the news or reading about what's going on is heartbreaking, and not very helpful. Things are not black or white; there isn’t fair representation of those with brown skin on the news in Seattle or anywhere in this country. If there is, I don’t see it. I’m not sure if there is anything I can do when I get to El Paso, but I need to go in hopes of finding something meaningful... or just to put my mind to rest.

This is what kept running through my head: Imagine being born in a place where you don’t have a choice, where what you feel is important simply doesn’t matter, knowing that your family is no longer yours, not because the government has put a claim on you and them, but because you are only potential clients or kill numbers to the Cartel. Just imagine this for a moment. What would you do? When the Cartel basically owns the government, what would be the point of having a family and a life there? I certainly can’t imagine this and don’t even want to try. What other choice does one have but to send their young children off in the hope they have some kind of life? These parents shouldn’t have to make decisions like this.

Finally arriving in El Paso, it was late. My rental car reservation didn’t work out, so I listened to the Universe and headed out on foot. When the light broke, I found coffee and began walking with my cameras in my backpack. This city is growing and beautiful. I do a lot of walking when I travel. A lot!! Working with the houseless is so so different than seeing people on the street looking and hoping for freedom in a county that doesn’t want them! This wasn’t what I expected. For real! Walking around Sacred Heart Catholic Church, where I saw many humans with a look on their faces I haven’t seen in a long time, I broke down. Trying to keep it together, I now want to kiss the land I was born on. How did I become so lucky? Trying to answer why wasn’t making sense. How could it when the guy standing beside me can’t move more than thirty feet away before the Border Patrol is in his face? I couldn’t imagine any of this!

Being told what you can or can’t do is worse than knowing Big Brother is always watching. What’s really crazy is that I’m watching this happen right in front of me and I’m speechless. We who are born into freedom will never understand this, and I’m sure none of us want to ever give it a try, or the hatred is brought out.

As I was asking a question in my broken Spanish, I got a sense that people coming from across the border had given up everything, just to have a life, telling most of their families and friends goodbye forever! There is no promise that they will ever meet again or even make it to their destination. I know this is a choice, but wouldn’t you choose life over six feet under? These are their choices in order to choose life.

Hanging out with my aunt Martha, I was very careful about what and how I said things. I am usually pretty forward and straight to the point, but she didn’t understand why this is so important to me. I had to remind her that I always educate myself about the world by being present, by observing for myself. This immigration situation has me looking for answers. I want to be front and center so I can make my own conclusion from what I see. I believe she was starting to understand what I was looking for. After showing me the city and feeding me. She finally asked, what do you really want to do? I told her I wanted to find a McDonald's, order some hamburgers and head to an area of town to hand them out. This is what I do in Seattle to begin my relationships - and they are relationships.

I try to keep in touch with people I meet as often as I can. OK! She wasn’t sure about this. She went along with it, though, and surprised me big time. I was happy she got involved, putting a smile on everyone's face she encountered. Amazing!! Afterward, we just talked for about fifteen minutes. If your parents would have waited fifteen minutes to move here, your life would be different. I'm always thinking about fifteen minutes. The understanding of fifteen seconds of fame vs. a completely different life.

One thing I have learned is that everything isn’t clearly reported, so I do my best to understand where I fit in, in most situations. I hate it when people tell me there is nothing I can do. Maybe so, but at least I should know first-hand what’s going on! If there is a situation I can change, I will do my best to help out.

Under the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 1: All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

Article 2 says that everyone has these rights, regardless of race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinions.

Article 3: Everyone has the right to life, liberty, and security of person.

Article 4: No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.

Article 5: No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment or punishment.

There are 30 articles, all relating to people living a full life. These articles were proclaimed by the United Nations General Assembly in Paris on December 10, 1948. I simply don’t understand why it is so hard for us to live by such simple rules. Do we really still believe this? As a whole? As a country? As a community of human beings caring for each other? True, the Declaration has restrictions, but it’s an attempt at making things even across the board.

No matter where one comes from, one should be treated the same way, with dignity- whether from across the ocean or the border. We the people should realize by now that this is how to respect one another. We come into the world as equals and with nothing. We will leave it the same way, but hopefully, we just might have made a difference. Understanding oneself.

How can we do better? Most importantly, I MUST DO BETTER!! PEACE