Yell!: Augusta University Women's and Gender Studies Magazine (Volume 5, Issue 2)

Spring 2019 - volume 5, issue 2

YELL!

Women’s and Gender Studies Program Augusta University

Augusta University Women’s and Gender Studies Magazine

contents 3 4 6 7 8 10 12 14 16 20 21 23 24

About & Letter from the Editor Campus Resources Feminist Art: “Male Dominance” by Megan Parkman Feminist Poetry: “Windows” by Alison O’keefe

Feminist Art “1:43 AM” by Daisha Massey Feminist Art: “2:49AM” by Daisha Massey Feminist Poetry: “Walk Faster, Keep Your Head Down” by Morgan Hunter Past Event: 6th Biennial Women’s and Gender Studies Symposium Summer and Fall 2019 Class Advertisements Triota Honors Society Meet our contributors Yell! Opportunities

Credits

Find the Augusta University Women’s and Gender Studies Department online Website: https://www.augusta.edu/pamplin/womens-gender-studies/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AUGWGST/ 2

about Yell! • • • “A cheer of support: a rhythmic word or phrase chanted by a group of people to give support or encouragement.” This elementary four-letter word seems so inadequate when put alongside its synonymic counterparts. Bellow. Vociferate. Holler. Exclaim. They all sound so dignified, so regal.

But Yell! is a word of a very different caliber. Yell! describes our mission in a way that its predecessors cannot. To us, Yell! means to reclaim women’s voices, not only on campus but in the community. Yell! means to uplift and galvanize ourselves and everyone we interact with. Yell! is our rallying cry, and we fully intend to embody the vehemence with which it is described here. We are no longer satisfied waiting in the shadows. We will Yell! in solidarity, our mission and our goal.

We are a unified front, ready and willing to step into the line of fire for social justice. We will approach our obstacles with intrepidness and pugnacity, never being afraid to fall. Because what is failure but an opportunity to improve? That is what Yell! means to us here in the AU Women’s Studies Program. It is who we are, and it is what we do. Join us.

Megan Pugh

letter from the editor • • • This has been a busy and exciting semester for the Women’s and Gender Studies Program ! We spent most of the semester learning the ropes of planning and preparing for our biennial Women’s and Gender Studies Symposium. Again it has been such a wonderful surprise to see how much work and support goes into this program. It was such a privilege to see the community work together for this project! Keep yelling AU!

Emily Wilson Editor-in-Chief

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campus resources • • • Women’s and Gender Studies Club

The Women's and Gender Studies Club is an official student-run organization. It was formed in 1997 to address women's issues both on and off campus.

The WGSC serves as a forum for all students at Augusta University. The organization participates in the annual Take Back the Night Rally and the Take Back the Day Walk to Prevent Sexual

Lambda Alliance Violence—both events that increase public awareness and prevention of sexual violence. WGSC students are also heavily active in carrying out Love Your Body Week each October, with events that have included film showings, goodie bag distribution, Operation Beautiful notes, and healthy body fitness classes.

Contact: President Courtney Cyr ccyr@augusta.edu

Lambda Alliance is a student led organization whose purpose is to provide a welcoming and supportive environment for LGBTQIA persons of Augusta University and their allies. We strive to educate the student body and the community on LGBTQIA issues and to promote understanding and acceptance on campus and in the community through social and educational events. All are welcomed, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or other factors! No member of Lambda's sexual orientation or gender identity is assumed.

Contact: President Samira Pilgreen spilgreen@augusta.edu

Safe Zone

Equality Clinic

Safe Zone Programs are part of a national initiative dedicated to training faculty, staff, students and support services at colleges and universities in an effort to create safe and inclusive environments for individuals of all sexual and gender identities. The Primary objectives are to promote the emotional and physical safety of AU’s sexually and gender diverse student, faculty, and patient populations, cultivate a supportive environment conducive to educational achievement, professionalism, and overall health and wellbeing., and to train students and faculty as SZ allies and advocates so that they may serve as resources for AU, AU Medical Center, and the broader Augusta area.

We serve as an LGBTQ-friendly space for those in the CSRA community who are under- or uninsured and fall below 200% of the federal poverty level.

We are creating a clinic where patients can receive the care they deserve in a welcoming, open environment.

Wherever you fall on the complex spectrums of gender expression, gender identity, and sexual attraction, you can come to Equality Clinic and discuss your specific health needs without fear of judgment or discrimination.

Contact: equalityclinicaugusta@gmail.com

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• • • campus resources Counseling Center Our services are free of charge, confidential, and available on both the Summerville and Health Sciences Campuses. We understand that students experience a wide range of concerns that impact their overall wellbeing and ability to succeed as a student, and we are here to help.

Our main Counseling Center is located on the Summerville campus in the Central Utilities Building Annex, 2nd floor (CE Building). If you have a physical condition which prevents you from walking up the stairs (unfortunately, there is no elevator at this location), please call us ahead of time so that we can make accommodations for you.

We also have a satellite office on the Health Sciences campus, within the Student Health Center in Pavilion II. The physical address is 1465 Laney Walker Boulevard.

Office Hours Monday-Friday 8 AM - 5 PM Telephone 706-737-1471 Emergency Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Georgia Crisis & Access Line: 1-800-715-4225

Office of Diversity and Inclusion The Augusta University Office of Diversity and Inclusion (ODI) reports to the Office of the Provost and is the hub for planning and implementing organizational systems and practices to ensure that our enterprise accomplishes its goal of creating a diverse and inclusive environment. Working hand-in-hand with Human Resources, Office of Employment Equity, academic units, Department of Patient Engagement, and senior leadership, and several others, the ODI will build, align and coordinate diversity efforts as a strategic approach that contributes to organizational goals and business performance.

Augusta University Health Sciences Campus 1120 15th Street Augusta, GA 30912 Telephone 706-721-6890

Augusta University Cares Whether a student, staff or faculty, if you or someone you know is in a distressing situation, support is available for you on this website. You will find helpful resources on a variety of issues including emergency or crisis situations and safety concerns, medical concerns, multicultural, psychological and personal issues, and interpersonal conflict both in workplace and amongst students.

FILE A CARE REPORT Title by Student Name

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• • • feminist art MALE DOMINANCE

* Cover Photo for Yell! Magazine Volume 5 Issue 2

Megan Parkman Art Printmaking/ Photography 6

feminist poetry • • • WINDOWS

Early morning, driving with the windows down, The breeze carries with it a scent reminiscent of you— Something like leaves or patchouli or the resin of trees— And I shudder, my heart in a tangle.

It’s all my fault, obviously.

Analyzing myself in the mirror— Paleness, redness, worry lines, tired eyes— To keep my mind on earth.

Did God mess up on me?

Thinking, asking, praying, crying, Running my lips and eyes dry.

Doors closed, windows shut, blinds down.

Keep the sun away.

Then I recall the time When you said you loved the “pure, true” me, and I smiled— You were the first person to ever point out my dimples.

When you gazed in my eyes, digging for something— You remarked on the flecks of gold hiding there.

When you said that I’m still beautiful No matter how much I think my scars stand out— They’re old, but they bring pangs of fresh regret.

When I would sit shotgun in your car And we would kiss as if it were our last day on earth— We’d pull apart and admire each other Letting in the February air with the windows down.

I was too much on one hand and not enough on the other, I never could have kept us together— I had been hurt too much, too damaged and different To hang onto your arm in the pews.

Be sure to slither around God’s house on Sunday With the smug satisfaction of a snake chased out, Hiss your vituperations with a forked tongue, And rattle with arrogance, knowing you did it, But before you sink your fangs into someone else, Just so you know: If eyes are windows to the soul, Then I pray for you— I looked that day and saw nothing.

Simultaneously, I recall the time When you dared insult me after I went to church with you— The service was about love, marriage, and Adam and Eve— You said that everyone like me is corrupted by sin.

When you accused my heart of “not being in the right place”— When you condescended me: “You think you’re born that way”— When you said you “couldn’t compromise on your values anymore”— When your eyes met mine that day, and I knew that the love was gone— I wasn’t your sweetheart or your princess anymore.

That’s what I get for openly straddling the line Between straight and gay, “normal” and “sinner.”

You could only hide your resentment for so long.

I remember when I drove home sobbing, tears stinging my face— It was windy; the windows were down.

But I still wake up in the morning— My life and I are imperfect, But there is nothing wrong with us— I still drive with the windows down, But now I’m letting the sun in To kiss my dimples and fill my eyes with gold Like you used to do; Not every day is pretty, But they flow easy in spite of you.

Next time you see me I’ll be hard at work, Building my walls higher than they’ve ever been— Anything to avoid meeting another you— But for the sake of the next one who comes along, I’ll install a window or two.

And I recall how my heart broke and the pieces floated Through my veins and scratched my eyes— Because my heart’s not in the right place— Then they started poking my brain, Familiar wounds breaking open.

Alison O’keefe English 7

• • • feminist art

1:43 AM Who is she?

What does she want?

Questions about herself that she can’t even answer Feeling proud of the choice she’s made at dawn But beating herself up about it by dusk She’s had enough with love Being used Being led on.

She doesn’t believe love is for her But she sees it everywhere Movies, books, songs, every where It has to be Something so widely shared seems nonexistent for her

Feelings intensifying at deathly speeds Scares her back into hiding She then knows she’s not quite ready to be loved She’s not done growing yet Instability still lies with her One day she hopes to be loved For all her flaws Random mood swings Comforted when needed Understand as time comes She now knows her fate Yet she waits for her uncertainty to be replaced by her significant other

She believes no one will be able to stick around for long Put up with her random mood swings Comfort her in times of need Understand her Make her feel special and not superficial She’s already pushed away the good In fear of tearing it apart with her insecurities But what if she chose the other route Stayed and kept her unpredictability a secret Began to be a burden on him Potentially bringing him to his breaking point Her knowing her circumstances could have mentally killed him So instead she chose the selfless route She doesn’t think that anyone will ever be able to love her Or she won’t allow it, at least at the moment Trapped in her state of mental instability exemplifies her entire identity Everyone sees a driven girl always finding happiness in the simplest things Temporary happiness in the simplest things

Daisha Massey Health Services 8

feminist art • • • VULNERABILITY

Daisha Massey Health Services 9

• • • feminist art 2:29 AM Sad soul, able mind.

She realizes that maybe loneliness will accompany her until eternal rest, It was presumed but ever so loosely.

Depression isn’t just a state for her, It’s become ingrained in her life.

Pushing others away is what she does best In fears of being abandoned or used.

Consequently, giving love one last try Created the aftermath of locking up and throwing away the key to her heart, perhaps forever Allowing it to get lost in an unmarked destination With no intentions on retrieving it.

Trust isn’t something she gives so kindly.

Prior experiences affected her deeply without realization until now.

She never thought she had trust issues as well as separate insecurities Until it was time to try and love someone, yet again.

Now she will go on to live life, Liberated but only in her head.

Not thinking about who will love her for all her imperfections But building a wall to prevent destruction from another.

She’s given up many things.

Let go of many people.

Understands now what her destiny is.

She knows her journey is different, Guided by loneliness, Filled with no restraint But clouded with fear, masked by strength.

However, one day she will learn to live with her sadness.

Sulk alongside her depression.

Comfort her insecurities.

In hopes of finding serenity within.

The validity of her reasonings appeared day-byday.

The world wasn’t nice.

Cruelty was rooted intensely.

People weren’t so kind.

The evil realities of life left a mental scar.

She wish she would have stayed in her shell all along But she felt that proof was needed to clarify her thought process.

She’s scared again.

Love wasn’t meant for her.

Life took advantage of her.

The world dragged her to many places, Places she never thought she’d get out of Using the last of her energy to push forward saved her.

Though she was left in ruins with difficulty of rehabilitation.

Daisha Massey Health Services 10

feminist art • • • WASH AWAY

Daisha Massey Health Services 11

• • • feminist poetry

WALK FASTER, KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN I walk past a group of boys With my sister, Maggie and my best friend, Jess.

We just arrived at Waffle House, it’s late.

-2018Morgan, Now that you’re older, I want to tell you my point of view from some of your childhood memories. I want you to understand how I feel every time something happens- or doesn’t happen- to you.

You’ll understand how I feel when you’re a mom.

I put on a sweatshirt Before getting out of my car, Because I didn’t want to give them any reason to notice me.

-1998“Well, congratulations! You’re having a baby girl!” the OBGYN said.

My first thoughts were- Girl. Shit, a girl? I can’t have a girl.

Boys are so much easier. Now I have to worry about all of these things I’d never even considered if it were a boy, oh hell. I can’t do it. I don’t know if I can do it.

“Aw. A girl? Really are you sure?”

“Yep, it’s definitely a girl.” Shit. “Okay, wow! This is great, it’ll all be great.”

Chatting in the Waffle House parking lot, Why are they still here?

It’s been an hour.

-2006I sent you and your sister in the gas station to pee. After about 5 minutes, I started to worry. That’s plenty of time for them to pee and come straight back. I saw you walk out of the bathroom through the glass window and was instantly relieved. I looked back at the gas pump and when I looked up you were out of sight.

Where the hell could you have gone? I looked around frantically for about 30 seconds before I saw you. 30 seconds of complete terror. But then I saw you, at some man’s car. You were taking something from his hand. Is that drugs? Candy? I dropped the gas hose and took off sprinting towards you two.

“What the hell are you two doing over here?”

“Mom! This nice man gave us candy because I opened the door for him!”

“Girls, come here and go back to the car. Now.” It’s midnight. We’re inside eating.

Why did two of them come in to use the bathroom?

To walk past us? The other 4 are still outside.

-2010“Mom, can I pretty pleaseeee stay at Porsche’s tonight? I promise I won’t leave the house at all.” “Baby, it’s not about you leaving the house.”

“Well why! I hate you if you don’t let me go.” I couldn’t tell you why. You were 11. You wouldn’t have understood why I couldn’t let you stay at your friend’s house. Her 26-year-old uncle was in town and living on the couch. I didn’t know him at all. I hardly even knew her parents! I finally caved and I spent the next 11 hours in agony. I didn’t sleep for over 20 minutes at a time. I sat up all night thinking about what might be happening and how’s she’s too little to know any better. At 6:30 AM I decided I had enough, I just had to come get you. I waited outside the house until a light came on at 7 and then knocked on the door.

We’re about to leave.

They’re still there. I don’t even want to walk outside.

What do I do if they come toward me?

-2011I wish you knew how I felt when I got your phone call. I can’t even describe how I felt when you called. You were at a softball tournament and I let you ride up with a friend.

“Mom,” you whispered through your tears, “Mom, there’s a man here. We’re in the car hiding but he has a gun and I don’t know what to do. He’s yelling at one of the girl’s on the team’s mom and I’m so scared.”

You were crying harder than I’d ever heard and I felt pure agony rise up in my whole body. I almost threw up after you said that but I was trying to sound calm for you. “Baby, it’s okay. Breathe.

Dad’s calling the police now and they’re on the way. Stay on the phone, breathe.” My hands were shaking so hard I almost dropped the phone, but somehow I found a way to keep talking.

We talked for a few more minutes and I don’t remember any more of the conversation. I can only remember how I felt. Like he took you and you were never coming back.

Oh shit, I made eye contact. I look away almost instantly.

I hope he doesn’t think I was trying to get his attention.

Okay walk faster. 20 feet away.

-2015Right after you got your license, you asked me if you could go downtown in Savannah to River Street with your friends. I knew some boys were meeting you there and I didn’t like you going out there anyway. I told you no but you convinced me to

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feminist poetry • • • there anyway. I told you no but you convinced me to let you go into this tourist area full of drunks and drug addicts. I got in the car to go to town for something, I’m not sure what. The radio went to a commercial about the news, there was a shooting in downtown Savannah. At least one teenage girl was shot and severely injured. I immediately thought it might be you. I called and you didn’t answer. No no, it couldn’t be you. You would be safe, you promised. I called again and it went straight to voicemail. I pulled over and looked up the number of the hospitals to start calling and see if it was you when I got a call from a number I didn’t have saved.

“Hey mom, it’s me. I’m just letting you know we’re headed back and my phone died.”

Put the keys in between your fingers, At least if you need something that’ll hurt them.

Just make it to the car and you’ll be fine.

-2016I told you that everyone had to go to their OBGYN when they were 17 and you believed me. I told you that you needed to get on birth control before college to try and regulate your periods. The truth? I hated Dante. He was older and sneaky and I just knew he was taking advantage of you. I also knew you didn’t want to start having sex yet, but I was so scared that he was taking advantage of you that I scheduled an appointment just to make sure. You told me over and over you weren’t having sex but how could I believe you? You were dating this boy and all you wanted to do was be around him and I couldn’t take it. You stopped talking to me more and more until we hardly spoke anymore about anything serious so I made the appointment. Out of my fear that you were being taken advantage of.

Unlock quick so the girls can get in the car.

10 feet away.

The pepper spray is in the center console.

-2017When you were looking for apartments to live in, I let you look but I knew where you’d end up. Whether you wanted to or not.

Your cousin, Michael Paul was moving to Augusta soon, so when he decided I made you move into the same building as him. It was such a relief. Your freshman year, I didn’t sleep for months. Your dad was worried sick about me. You were my baby girl. Moving 3 hours away. Into a dorm full of boys. How could I make sure you weren’t being hurt? That you were being safe? That no one was taking advantage of you? For all I knew, you weren’t even staying there anymore. You could’ve been doing anything so I made you move in beside Michael Paul the next year. At least if something happened, he would be there.

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Dad left a pocket knife in the glove compartment.

Maggie, pull your shirt down, The holes in your jeans are showing too much.

-2018Over the summer, you and your roommate, Courtney, drove to Colorado. I only let you go because she was going to be driving all 28 hours by herself and I couldn’t let that happen. I called you every three hours and you don’t know how hard it was to sit still for those three hours and not call you. I wanted you to keep me on speaker phone for the entire ride. How was I supposed to know if you were stopping at safe looking gas stations? Or if you were only going through the drive thru like I told you to? I made myself cook so I wouldn’t be thinking about it. I made steaks, mashed potatoes, green beans, chicken Caesar casserole, and white rice before I realized it was pointless. I wasn’t thinking about it any less and I kept running over to my phone every five minutes regardless of what I was doing. I kept replaying a scene in my head of you stopping at a sketchy gas station and a man coming up to you and taking you. He put his hand over your mouth and a gun to your back. He tells you that if you scream or say a word he’ll shoot. He takes you and shoves you in his car and sells you into sex slavery. I don’t know why this is always the image I see; I guess this is my biggest fear.

5 feet away.

We’re almost there.

Shit, I think that boy is looking at Maggie.

-2018You called me a few weeks ago.

“Hey mom, just letting you know Courtney’s brother and his friends are having to evacuate because of the hurricane so they're probably coming to stay at the apartment tonight,” “What the hell, Morgan? You’re seriously letting some random guys we don’t know stay in your apartment?”

Why are you so dumb sometimes? After all I’ve taught you. You would think you would be smarter.

I couldn’t think of anything else to do so I called your boyfriend, Hunter. At least if he stayed there I knew none of those guys would mess with you. He told me of course he would come stay but I still couldn’t shake the feeling. I kept feeling like something was going to happen. Like they were going to hurt you somehow.

“Hey girl, I like those jeans.”

Please walk faster, Maggie.

Morgan Hunter Literature

• • • past events 6TH BIENNIAL WOMENS AND GENDER STUDIES SYMPOSIUM March 16th the Womens and Gender Studies Program hosted their biennial symposium. This year the topic was “Under the Gaze of lady liberty: Suffrage, Immigration, #MeToo”. The goal for these symposiums is always to facilitate scholars, students, activists, and community members to engage in open dialogue on gender issues. With the help of Dr. Allison Foley, Dr. Liana Babayan and the dedicated WGST staff, we were able to achieve our goal.

The keynote speaker for the symposium was Daffodil Altan, an investigative journalist with FRONTLINE and Emmy-nominated documentary filmmaker. She gave a presentation on the investigative journalism of her co-produced documentary “Rape on the Night Shift”. The attendees of the symposium had an opportunity to view the documentary before and after the keynote presentation.

Student at table for Cumbee Center We truly want to thank all presenters, participants, moderators, community organizations, students and volunteers for making this event possible! The WGST program is already looking forward to the next symposium in 2021.

Volunteers Daffodil Altan presenting

The symposium also featured workshops and round tables that covered topics on reproductive justice, Title IX and sexual assault polices in higher education, women in leadership, #metoo movement, etc.

Attendees were able to speak to representatives of many different resources within in the community.

Tables for Rape Crisis, Safehomes, Equality Clinic, CSRA Womens Voters League, Title IX, and Cumbee Center were present this year.

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past events • • • 6TH BIENNIAL WOMENS AND GENDER STUDIES SYMPOSIUM

Safe Homes representatives

“Justice and Joy” exhibit by Darla Linville

Liana Babayan, Daffodil Altan and Alison Foley

Dr. Liana Babayan initiating Triota Ceremony

League of Women Voters of CSRA

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• • • related courses

Course available for summer 2019 and fall 2019

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related courses • • •

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• • • related courses

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related courses • • •

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Congratulations to Rachel Hammond and Lauren Jackson, our newest inductees into Triota!

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meet our contributors • • • Megan Parkman Megan Parkman is a native of Augusta and a senior at Augusta University. She is currently pursuing a Bachelor’s degree in Fine Arts with a concentration in Photography and Printmaking. She likes to keep things simple, yet passionate by bringing forth a voice with her photography.

Her photo “Male Dominance” focuses on how men try to dictate women sexually and in everyday life. Currently she is working on collaborating her photography with other artistic mediums such as printmaking, mixed-media, and ceramics. You can see more of her work in the 2019 Student Juried Art Exhibition as well as a feature in the 2019 Spring issue of Sand Hills Literary Magazine.

Alison O’Keefe Alison is a junior pursuing a BA in English literature with a minor in art. She hopes to do her graduate work in English and become a professor. She has been interested in creative writing her whole life, and would love to be an author one day. She is most fond of poetry, but she also loves novels, short stories, and works that explore themes of gender, sexuality, philosophy, and spirituality, and would live at Barnes & Noble if she could. When she isn’t reading or writing, she enjoys painting, drawing, making music, and watching any movie with a good plot.

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• • • meet our contributors Daisha Massey I am a sophomore studying Dental Hygiene at Augusta University. I created all of my pieces as the result of an outlet as I was going through a lot and only knew how to express myself artistically, at the time. My passions include art, servicing others, and investing. After this semester, I am actually taking a break from school to pursue my passions full time. Real Estate investing is my main focus as of right now. Yes, I am leaving Augusta University but I will always be a student of life. On top of that, this will not be the last time you hear from me. Be not only a dreamer but also a doer.

Morgan Hunter Morgan is a junior majoring in literature.

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• • • Yell! opportunities

Want to be a contributor next semester?

SUBMIT YOUR WORK TODAY!

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credits Editor-in-Chief Emily Wilson Program Director Dr. Liana Babayan Contributors Megan Parkman Alsion O’keefe Daisha Massey Madison Brown

Description: Photo of Liana Babayan, Dafffodil Altan, and Allison Foley Credit: Allison Foley—Facebook

Description: Dr. Babayan initiating Triota Credit: Gabrielle Moore Description: Photo of exhibit Credit: Gabrielle Moore Description: Photo of LWV table Credit: Gabrielle Moore

Morgan Hunter Special Thanks Reema Soni Morgan Hunter Sabrina Nacci Art & Photography Credits Page 14 Description: Photo of Daffodil Altan presenting Credit: Allison Foley—Facebook Description: Photo of student at table Credit: Gabrielle Moore Description: Photo of volunteers Credit: Gabrielle Moore Page 15 Description: Photo of Safe Homes representatives Credit: Gabrielle Moore

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