GOLDEN HOUR by Billie Gold

Bit nippy?

Almost every year, in a post office far, far away, if you’re as inclined to earwigging as I am, you’ll hear a conversation between two people insisting that this winter has been the coldest winter in years. Well this year it is the coldest it’s been in a decade, and yet while taking my stupid little walks along the seafront among the bundled up masses, I see something that never ceases to horrify and appal me. Winter sea swimmers.

Now don’t get me wrong, I can see the appeal of dipping in an icy pool in picturesque Sweden, steam rolling off a new bikini just enough to post on Instagram and running into a very hot sauna, but what I find completely baffling is people I can only describe as death wish swimmers. People running scantily clad into the sea, as if we are in the middle of the Bahamas.

Refusing to believe in the holistics of this barbaric practice, I decided to do some research, and the first headline I found claimed: Swimming in subzero temperatures likened to an orgasm

I did have one wild thought where maybe I could be that person, perhaps instead of staring grunting at an app on my phone twisting into an impossible yoga position I could be an outside girl, one that rides bikes and swims in a cold English Channel for absolutely no reason except masochism, and then it hit me, why would a bunch of people choose to freeze to death on a February morning?

Refusing to believe in the holistics of this barbaric practice, I decided to do some research, and the first headline I found claimed: Swimming in sub-zero temperatures likened to an orgasm. Colour me more confused but it’s apparently true, the endorphins released in the brain when a person exposes themselves to extreme cold is likened to the little death, receptors flooded with the need to keep the brain and the essential organs from going into shock are sent into overdrive, leaving the swimmer euphoric.

The description of it being called ‘a hangover in reverse’ by one enthusiast tells me that as admirable as freezing your bits off for a high is, I would rather watch them in awe from the safety of the pebbles

To me this seems like a very uncomfortable way to get off but the effects of cold water swimming don’t end there. There’s actually scientific studies going on right now that link this kind of activity to its abilities to combat even the most serious depression, pain management problems and anxiety. An interview at the Highgate Swimmers’ Society found that about a third of the swimmers there are addicts in some form of recovery; having been a former addict myself, it makes total sense that someone would trade in a destructive addiction for one that hits a ‘reset’ button.

More euphoria, more shocks to the system, still as extreme, but cleaner. Reading some of the testimonials about ice swimming it almost (read, almost) made me want to take the five-minute walk from my door down to Brighton seafront and jump in head-first, hoping to wash away all my sins, however the description of it being called ‘a hangover in reverse’ by one enthusiast tells me that as admirable as freezing your bits off for a high is, I would rather watch them in awe from the safety of the pebbles.