STUPID BOYS CLUB

Gscene catches up with Toby Lawrence, Jonesy and Alex Ryan, hosts of the new comedy podcast.

Three Brighton ‘z-listers’ – Jonesy, Toby Lawrence and Alex Ryan – take listeners through their personal therapy journeys, largely avoiding any issues of importance, and instead opting to talk about childhood embarrassments, teenage faux pas and a complete lack of anything that could be referred to as ‘adult behaviour’.

How did it all start?

Alex: “We’ve always felt a kind of ‘calling’ towards podcast creation – much like Jonesy’s calling to puppy-fatherhood, or Toby’s calling to a Big Mac. Given our various failed radio and DJ careers, we thought it was about time we tried out a medium where no one can force you to stop. Like most people, we’ve got some pretty ridiculous tales from our collective pasts that were just asking to be relived and documented, but one of the key things with podcasting is that you need to have an overarching reason to exist – something that potential listeners can grasp on to when deciding whether or not to get involved. “Jonesy’s insane spreadsheet and research approach to dog ownership was just the reason we needed to gather round a microphone and start recording and, while we’ve now descended more into the ‘talking nonsense’ realm, it’s great to have that dog/pet theme to come back to – it’s our safe port in some very stormy seas.”

Tell us more about Jonesy’s dog, Cookie – is all the prep working?

Jonesy: “Cookie is doing really well. She’s developed a remarkable ability to shift from ‘world’s cutest teddy bear’ to ‘demon bitey jack-in-the-box’ in the blink of an eye. Puppyhood has been a very beautiful, albeit sleep-deprived experience. “I spent months before her arrival reading puppy-based books and blogs, or watching YouTube videos, but nothing prepares you for the real thing. I think there’s actually a gap in the market for a ‘warts n’ all’ puppy book. None of the authors I came across divulged the joys of trimming your puppy’s fanny and/or bum hair, particularly doing so without scarring the poor pooch, psychologically or literally. And who knew anal glands were a thing, eh? Witness the cute side of Cookie on her Instagram @CookietheCavapooUK, which she most definitely manages and posts to herself, using a totally authentic ‘dog voice’.” A: “It’s worth pointing out that, while Cookie can ‘do no wrong’ in Jonesy’s eyes, Toby and I have definitely come to the conclusion that almost everything Jonesy has read about in these puppy books is wrong – but you can decide for yourself; • Does Cookie really need the sounds of the sea broadcast to her overnight, every night? • Is it OK that she rejects any water that people put down for her because she has her own Brita water filter back at home? • Is it really that important to forcibly socialise Cookie to things like bins, ironing boards, deodorant and people with big hats?”

Does it all flow naturally or are there scripted/rehearsed bits?

Toby: “It’s probably quite hard to believe how mad our conversations tend to get, but while each recording is structured (meaning we have discussions about potential topics), it’s completely unscripted, which leads us off on to beautifully wacky tangents all the time. “Throughout the week we have a bit of backand-forth with ideas of what we want to chat about, but we save the actual talking for recording so we don’t miss out on any gold.”

How long does it take to edit and is there much cut out?

T: “Recording the podcast is the easy bit. We usually have double the amount of content that we need for an hour show, so I spend one to two days editing it all together, cutting out the bits that don’t quite work or aren’t quite as funny as the rest.” A: “There are also a lot of bits we couldn’t possibly air, even when they’re jaw-droppingly funny, due to knowing that family and colleagues are listening - some banter is best kept between friends.” T: “Yeah, maybe one day we’ll do a special episode where I open up the Stupid Boys Club’s secret vault and show you all the stuff that didn’t quite make the cut. “Aside from cutting out bits, as all three of us have some background in radio I try to add in production here and there to make the podcast sound as polished as I possibly can.”

How real is all the content? Some of it sounds fantastical.

A: “It’s 100% real - simple as that. I mean, I guess that, as with everyone, stories from our youth may have ‘evolved’ over years of telling them, but I can promise that we don’t consciously exaggerate or embellish anything. One of the things that’s brought us together as friends is our willingness to do stupid things, never say no to a challenge, and, of course, our love of an adventure combined with a drinkypoo… these things are just a breeding ground for stupid and embarrassing stories.” J: “This podcast is probably the first time I’ve reflected on some of the weird things that have happened in my life. Based on the episodes so far, most of these things involve embarrassing poo stories and falling in love with inanimate objects. Mother would call me ‘eccentric’. Everyone else would probably settle on ‘strange’.”

What’s your favourite bit so far?

A: “Ooh it’s difficult to choose as we’ve found ourselves in uncontrollable giggles all over the place, but one particular joke at the end of episode six had us on the floor – we had to cut out about a minute of us trying to regain control, and a fair few of our listeners got in contact to relay similar experiences, so that’s certainly worth checking out. “Interviewing our first ever guest, Drag With No Name, is definitely a highlight for me. I’d felt so grateful for her incredible lockdown shows

for a really long time and really just wanted to show my appreciation for her efforts in giving a lot of people some much-needed escapism from the onset of lockdown.”

J: “I’m particularly proud of the joke Alex just mentioned, at the end of episode six, although it probably destroyed any chance of the RSPCA ever sponsoring us… Other than that, the first episode we got to record faceto-face was lovely (socially distanced, obvs). As fun as it was recording remotely while on a group Zoom call, it’s not quite the same as being able to scowl at Alex and Toby in person.” T: “There are so many weird and wonderful moments that I’m so proud of on the show, but Jonesy having the balls to tell the world that he once fell in love with a fallen tree is a definite highlight for me. Either that or I found out that I could fit a biro in my belly button.”

How do you go about finding your guests?

J: “Between the three of us, we’ve all dabbled in the world of wannabe z-list celeb status. As a former local radio presenter, I regularly stalked (I think the correct term now is ‘followed’) many celebrities in an attempt to get their mobile number. That was mainly Will Young because I convinced myself we’d one day marry. Anyway, the point is that we have friends of friends of friends who once said hello to someone mildly famous, and we are milking the holy hell out of every contact we have.

“The lovely Scott - Drag With No Name - was our first guest. Aside from her being a super popular local legend on the drag scene with a fab online lockdown show, Alex’s fan-girling of her was both sweet and sickening in equal measure. Maybe Alex secretly longs for the spotlight as a middle-aged drag queen?” A: “I’d probably give it a go actually – I once had to dress up as Posh Spice and did a convincing enough job that I got hit on by a couple of straight guys in a James Bondthemed party that we crashed. (picture below) J: “In my role as promotions manager of Revenge (cheap plug), I’ve been lucky enough to book dozens of the RuPaul’s Drag Race stars over the years. Ironically, our first big guest

Alex as Posh Spice

from the show, Bianca Del Rio, isn’t one of them. Her star power is more Wembley Arena than Club Revenge, but somehow I bagged an interview purely on the basis that she’s also obsessed with her dogs, Sammy and Dede.”

Did you need to prep Bianca Del Rio much?

J: “I did send a blurb to her manager beforehand, but - like all good management - he didn’t tell her anything pre-interview. Before we hit the record button, I gave her a very brief overview of the podcast, but I liked the fact it was pretty spontaneous. Her interest peaked when I told her it was an adult comedy podcast so she could swear to high heaven. I think she dropped the C bomb within two minutes of the interview starting. She’s a classy bird, that’s why we love her.”

BIANCA DEL RIO

What’s it like when you’re recording?

T: “When we started the podcast, we were in the midst of lockdown so we couldn’t just meet up, hit record and chat. We initially started recording over Zoom conferences and Facetime chats. Recently, now that things are a little bit more fluid, we all meet up on a Monday round at Alex’s and have a laugh together.” “Interviewing guests brings its own set of challenges. I’m pretty sure we all had a mini meltdown before interviewing Bianca about the best way of doing things, but we just got her on a Skype chat and talked to her through there. It seemed to work really well, and it was super easy for her.”

Future plans for the show?

A: “In general, we just want to keep getting better and better at creating it. It’s clearly improved over the first 10 episodes where we’re adding a lot more features and games and more polished editing, so I think we’re all keen to just pull something together that’s a professional-level piece of entertainment. “Obviously growing our audience would be great – some podcasts get popular enough to go on tour, performing and recording live to audiences of all kinds of sizes, and I know we’d all love to get to that point. Delivering our particular form of nonsense live just seems like an excellent fit.”

J: “If we can one day earn enough from the podcast to a) pay for Cookie’s pet insurance and b) fund mine and Toby’s addiction to takeaways, I shall be a very happy homosexual.”

What else is in the pipeline for you all?

J: “Long walks on the beach, a far smaller bank balance due to dog purchases and a budding career as a fanny hair trimmer (FOR DOGS). Aside from that, I’m hoping and praying we can open nightclubs again soon as Revenge celebrates its 30th birthday in 2021 and I’ve got a bunch of exciting events in the pipeline.” A: “For the first four months of lockdown, under the guise of The Furloughed Marketer, I gave free marketing support to lots of small businesses struggling to cope with the knockon effects of the Covid-19 pandemic. I enjoyed it enough to take voluntary redundancy from my day job and launch my own consultancy business called Marketing 101, while still creating free resources (a blog and another podcast) to help businesses that can’t afford to pay for marketing support. I guess it’s full steam ahead with that now – get in contact if you think I can be of assistance.” (www.marketing-101.co.uk). T: “Until I can start DJing again, I’ll be working on new music as much as possible, so keep an eye out for that. Or, if you fancy a more personal connection, pop into Bar Revenge and I’ll pour you a pint.”

HOW TO LISTEN

* Search: Stupid Boys Club on all podcast services/apps

* Ask Alexa to: ‘Play Stupid Boys Club podcast’

* Visit: www.stupidboysclub.com