RAE'S REFLECTIONS by Rachel Badham

The soundtrack of 2020. Rachel Badham sees out a rocky year by sharing her top tunes

2020 has been a strange year to say the least.

The coronavirus pandemic has taken a toll on everyone and I think most people are fairly relieved that the year is coming to an end. However, I think it’s been an excellent year for music, particularly from queer artists. Music really helped to boost my spirits this year – through personal difficulties and lockdown – and it’s a reminder of all the good things that have happened over the last 12 months.

Hayley Kiyoko, also known as Lesbian Jesus, released her single She in January, which definitely got my year off to a good start. I’ve been a fan of Hayley since I heard her song Girls like Girls in 2015, which was a pivotal moment in my journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. To me, She encapsulates everything I love about Hayley – it’s fun and empowering, as well as unapologetically queer. Songs like this make me so incredibly proud to be a queer woman and grateful to have role models like Hayley to look up to. On top of this, I love the music video where she portrays a teenage version of herself dreaming of the day when she’ll be performing live with women throwing their bras at her – I think she can safely say she has achieved this goal.

Dedicated Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen came out in May and it massively improved my lockdown. Carly has a huge LGBTQ+ fanbase and has made some of the best pop music of the last decade. I saw her live in London last year and was lucky enough to meet her after the show which was definitely a high point of, well, my entire life. A standout song from her 2020 album is Solo; an upbeat synth-pop track about the importance of self-worth regardless of your relationship status. I was struggling with loneliness a lot at the beginning of 2020 and throughout lockdown so I would listen to Solo to remind me that not only are many others dealing with this issue, but that it’s possible to embrace aloneness.

I don’t think there’s an LGBTQ+ pop fan who wouldn’t consider Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande’s Rain On Me as part of their playlist of the year. Gaga is openly bisexual and is known to be an advocate of equality for all, as seen in her popular LGBTQ+ anthem Born This Way. Grande is also an LGBTQ+ ally and I’ve been a fan of her music since her debut album Yours Truly. Besides the fact that Rain On Me is incredibly catchy and a return to Gaga’s pop roots, it was also very motivational for me as I took up running. I feel 2020 is the first year I began to genuinely start looking after my body by regularly exercising and eating well; I’d dabbled in running before but always struggled with it and given up, but this year is when I decided to take it seriously, and Rain On Me was always on my running playlist. Although it’s probably not what Gaga meant, the line “I’d rather be dry but at least I’m alive” was very relatable when I was sweating through my clothes but trying to power through.

Another queer artist who released some amazing music this year is Miley Cyrus; her single Midnight Sky is one of the best songs of her career. Miley has gotten a lot of stick throughout her career but I think her ability to continuously reinvent herself is admirable, and I love that she doesn’t give a f**k about what anyone thinks of her, particularly in regards to her sexuality and gender identity. This ’80s-sounding song is empowering, catchy and explicitly queer as it switches between male and female pronouns. I think it also shows off Miley’s underrated vocal abilities and I love the dazzling music video which reminds me why she’s not only an amazing music artist but one of my fashion icons.

Although Taylor Swift’s seventh studio album Lover came out in 2019, I Think He Knows continued to be a favourite song of mine this year. I massively admire Taylor’s work ethic despite the adversity and blatant sexism she’s faced throughout her career, and although this song isn’t the most complex or meaningful on the album, listening to it always lifts my mood. It also reminds me of my partner, who I was lucky enough to have met this year; knowing them has massively improved my life and I’m very thankful for them, so listening to it always brings a smile to my face and reminds me that some good has come out of this year.

Another 2019 song I’ve listened to constantly this year is You by Marina (formerly Marina and the Diamonds) – an artist I’ve loved for the past decade – from her latest album Love + Fear. Much like Carly, Marina has a large LGBTQ+ fanbase which she attributes to her campness and her music, which frequently explores feelings of being an outsider. And like Carly, I’ve seen Marina live multiple times – an absolutely incredible experience. I’m not sure what You means to Marina, but I interpret it as an exploration of the various conflicts we all have with ourselves. To me, the song shows the power we all have to break ourselves down but then the equally powerful strength we have to love and support ourselves. Marina’s ability to articulate the most complicated aspects of the human condition in such a beautiful way always astounds me and I think You is a perfect example of this.