HYDES' HOPES by Rev Michael Hydes

Interesting times

Speaking of the 1960s, Bobby Kennedy said:

There’s a Chinese curse which says ‘may he live in interesting times’. Like it or not we live in interesting times. They are times of danger and uncertainty; but they are also more open to the creative energy of men than any other time in history.

The same is true of today. Covid-19 has made life challenging in ways I couldn’t have imagined. In order to overcome some of those challenges I have found that we need to be creative in new and inventive ways.

I’ve seen relationships implode, or even explode, under the stresses of Covid-19. But then I’ve also seen relationships flourish and deepen. Chris and I found that making time for each other has made all the difference.

We decided to make every Saturday night ‘date night’ and took it in turns to ‘take each other out’. The first couple of weeks the weather was nice so we put a gazebo up in the back yard. We played music to help set the scene – Thai music to go with a pad thai and Indian music to go with a curry. But then the weather got cold so we moved the gazebo and set up an ‘outside’ space inside.

Over the weeks we became increasingly more inventive. I found a two-hour Youtube video of a view over a Tuscan lake. In the gazebo I set up the TV, put a fan on to mimic a breeze, found some restaurant noise and chill-out music, ordered pizza from Pizzaface, and created a Tuscan Pizzeria. We talked for hours, just like we were on holiday,

Every week we treated each other to an evening ‘out’ – even dressing for the occasion. Using a webcam feed of the Brighton seafront, we had fish & chips looking out over the pier. We had a snow scene for a ski-lodge theme, and a PC on the floor showing a video of a roaring fire. A night at the aquarium using videos, screensavers, and a night light that had fish gently swimming round the room. We celebrated Christmas in July (complete with Christmas dinner), and a Mexican evening with a piñata full of chocolate. We spent an evening at the theatre, a movie night with hotdogs and popcorn, and a Burns Night in the Scottish highlands with haggis and whisky (in our kilts of course). Chris created a Dutch pancake house, a 1950s American diner, and a Chinese meal complete with new year’s fireworks. We had dinner in the International Space Station (where going round the Earth made me motion sick, so scratch that one), a night at an art museum, afternoon tea on the Love Boat, a Teddy Bear’s picnic at the Brighton Bear Weekend online event, an evening of Spanish tapas overlooking a gorgeous courtyard, and more besides.

Some evenings worked really well. Others not so much. But we talked for hours and hours, felt like we were away somewhere special, and had the chance every week to do something special for each other. Even after 18 years together our relationship deepened and has been the rock that both of us have used as a touchstone during the Covid rollercoaster.

My advice in the midst of all of this is be creative. Don’t be afraid to be silly, try something new, and spend time – real or virtual – with those you care about. You might be surprised at the difference it makes.