Soul Food

Two women who work with Lunch Positive explain why they are so inspired to be involved with the charity

Michele Allardyce, kitchen volunteer

I heard about Lunch Positive’s Friday lunch club for people living with or affected by HIV via Gscene (where I worked at the time). I’d been looking for a volunteering opportunity in the LGBTQ+ community and I love cooking, so it was a perfect match. Preparing and sharing meals together is fun and rewarding – you really feel part of a community.

I’ve made new friends and reconnected with old ones. When the weekly lunch club was suspended during the first lockdown, my partner Frances and I made huge batches of vegetarian meals every week for home delivery. Giving your time to do something practical like that to help people out is very satisfying.

There are quite a few lunch club volunteers and members who’ve lived in Brighton as long as me and I love that connection of a shared history. I first became aware of AIDS/HIV as a student in the early ‘80s when I worked at Sherry’s Laser Disco (later The Pink Coconut, Paradox etc). On Sunday night London gay club, Bolts, came to town and photo journalist Bill Short, who was involved with Brighton Bolts, would leave me a pile of Gay News to sell from my cloakroom hatch.

That was where I read the first reports of a ‘gay plague’ from the US that had started to take hold in London. At this time it was the friendships with older and worldly wise gay men who took me under their wing when I was young and unsure of everything around sexuality and gender, that helped me along my path.

Their friendship meant a lot to me, so going along to World AIDS Day marches, remembrance vigils and AIDS/HIV fundraisers over the years was important to show support, especially in the early days when there was so much homophobia and stigma around AIDS. Now I’m very happy to be able to carry that connection on by volunteering at Lunch Positive.

Helena Oele, session worker

I guess some people volunteer for a sense of social consciousness, sense of belonging, sense of purpose, sense of community, an opportunity to use one’s skills. Including me, I volunteered for all of those reasons, only it’s not how it started and I didn’t know that until I was in it.

I have a dear friend who became gravely ill due to HIV at a time past the ‘80s, past the ‘90s, when everyone thought it had just gone away. He was so ill that doctors didn’t really believe it, some doctors were too young to have ever seen it, and it took 18 months to get him the support and care he needed.

Part of that help came from charities – the Sussex Beacon gave him nursing care, support and a cosy room to stay in, while various offices sorted accommodation for him, and they still offer periods of respite stay, should he want it. My friend has HIV-related dementia, he needed, and needs routine and a community, a safe place to go, where he can eat a hot meal and feel supported. And we really couldn’t have dreamed Lunch Positive up.

Charities such as this fill a much-needed gap in the council-run social system. Those with HIV still experience stigma, prejudice and fear. They are still dealing with grief, loss and ongoing health conditions. The world threw medication at it and the problem went away. But for those in the middle of it, it is a very immediate and real part of their lives.

As government budget cuts continue to squeeze the services that the NHS and social care can provide, people start and build on charities, to provide ever more needed services for our communities.

“I looked at my friend and saw how safe and comfortable he was [at Lunch Positive], saw those I had chatted with and heard their stories”

As I navigated the system to find my friend the support he needed, I became increasingly aware of the amazing work people do. Once my friend was settled, I met him at Lunch Positive, work allowing, for lunch most Fridays. On the tenth anniversary of Lunch Positive I looked around me and remembered every Friday, looked at my friend and saw how safe and comfortable he was there, saw those I had chatted with and heard their stories.

I remembered other friends not in Brighton, still negotiating medication, grief and stigma. So, with a sense of social consciousness, instilled in me by my mother; a sense of belonging, as I negotiated my own grief and loss; a sense of purpose, to support my friend and the great work that Lunch Positive does; a sense of community, as I looked around me and felt a part of something, and an opportunity to use my skills, I asked if I could volunteer.

For more info on Lunch Positive, visit: www.lunchpositive.org