KINK AT PRIDE

By Jason Reid

I’m constantly baffled as to why this subject keeps cropping up as a ‘debate’. Every year. Sometimes more often than that. The whole discourse is tedious and makes me highly suspicious of some people’s ulterior motives that seem to be as visible as a leather daddy’s arsecheeks in backless chaps; there is definitely an element of people (some within our own community) acting in bad faith, raising this matter repeatedly – that is whether LGBTQ+ kink should be on display at Pride. The answer is always yes of course; there is no debate to be had. Stop it. This kind of thing is straight out of the Daily Mail’s handbook of how to whip up hatred and divide a community.

Kinksters are as much a part of the LGBTQ+ community and the history of Pride as anyone else;

in fact more often than not through the turbulent decades of the past you’ll have found them on the frontline fighting for the very rights and sexual freedoms we enjoy today. They’ve been doing this since the early days of Pride. They helped to start Pride. They are integral to modern day Pride. Without them, Pride would not be Pride. We owe kinksters a debt of gratitude; not hysterical derision. So, please, step away from Twitter and Reddit, go outside and touch some grass – get some perspective, read up on our collective history, and, most importantly, try to understand those who came before us; afford them the respect they deserve – before jumping to obstinate and hurtful conclusions.

I suppose it would be remiss of me to not address some of the bait takes dressed up as ‘legitimate concerns’ that have been circulating on social media, so here are just a few that piqued my interest: Won’t somebody please think of the children?

Why? What are the children who are glancing at a passing Pride parade saying? “Look at the man pretending to be a dog. It’s funny. Hahaha.” Much like they’d see someone dressed up at the theatre, or circus, or a theme park. Adopting faux outrage on behalf of children and, strangely, instantly linking their everyday experiences to sex in order to attack LGBTQ+ people is the only concerning element of this scenario. Of course there are LGBTQ+ people who have children and want to bring them to Pride events and parades, and even though I think family-friendly events are more suited, I believe they should be welcomed. Good parents can make appropriate judgement calls, and the responsibility lies with them, ultimately. However, families who come to gawp and point, treating Pride like a day out at the zoo, should stay away. This isn’t your time. Every other day is for you. Take the kids to the M&Ms shop. We’re not a spectacle. Pride should never be sanitised down to appease those who have oppressed us. I’m embarrassed to be associated with this

Pride is a time for all LGBTQ+ people to be their true selves without all that horrible judgement and constant micro-aggressions that many face daily merely for existing outside the parameters set by a heteronormative society. The last thing people need is to be judged by their own on their special day. Inclusion is key. If you don’t understand why someone dresses a certain way, start a dialogue and get to know them. Form your own opinion, don’t adopt one that’s been carefully curated by agenda-driven media companies. Kink is not always inextricably linked to sex. The best way to learn and broaden the mind is to meet new people from completely different backgrounds. Kink shouldn’t be at Pride

As I said before, kinksters have been at the forefront of Pride protests and events across the world since forever. They were instrumental in the formation of the gay rights movement. They belong. They are us. Of course we all know what people really mean when they say kinksters shouldn’t be at Pride: that they’re all buggering each other silly at any given opportunity, which is not true. This viewpoint is nothing more than peal-clutching hyperbole. Gays and drag queens and lesbians and trans people and kinksters all have sex – none of them are doing it during Pride parades – but for some reason it’s the kinksters who should be excluded. It stinks of scapegoating and we will never stand for it. Maybe use that energy to call out politicians and bigots, and stand in firm solidarity with all LGBTQ+ people.

Also, Pride is not about conforming, quite the opposite in fact. LGBTQ+ people are still under attack and while there are demagogues across the world whipping up division we probably always will be, and that’s why Pride is so important. Pride started as a riot, a movement that centred sexual liberation, it was never meant to be a familyfriendly, corporate event. We must remember that. We must also remember that older kinksters not only fought for our rights, they saw a generation of their friends die of AIDS. We are letting them down. Let’s change that, immediately, and work together to accommodate all in our community. We are always stronger together.