ROGER’S RUMINATIONS

BY ROGER WHEELER

Choices, choices

The debate about whether homosexuality is a choice has been activating opinions for years, from my point there is no debate, I was born like this. I have always known that I am gay, but whether it was a choice, that’s an interesting question.

How does someone become homosexual? Did something go wrong at birth? These and other completely idiotic questions are still being asked of gay people, there seems to be no sensible answer that the bigots will accept, once they have formed an opinion it’s almost impossible to shift them.

Words like ‘choice’, ‘preference’ and ‘lifestyle’ are loaded because they’ve been used to oppress sexual minorities. Can sexuality be ‘fluid’, a relatively new term, at least to me; this raises the whole question of bisexuality. Does such a thing actually exist? To my knowledge and to my own personal experience I don’t think that it does.

“How does someone become homosexual? Did something go wrong at birth? These and other completely idiotic questions are still being asked of gay people, there seems to be no sensible answer that the bigots will accept”

Many years ago, peer group pressure almost forced me to have sex with several women, at the time I knew quite well that this wasn’t for me and for some time I felt guilty about giving these lovely ladies a completely false idea of who I was.

Culture can affect views and opinions on homosexuality. As I have written about before, in some societies homosexuality is accepted, in others it is frowned upon but tolerated, and in 70 countries it is a serious criminal offence, possibly punishable by death.

Would the citizens of those countries actually choose this way of life? Obviously not, they have no choice. When I was growing up in the ’60s I was aware of my attraction to men but had to hide the fact and pretend. At that time I would certainly not have chosen to be gay.

There are many scientific papers written on this subject, none of which seem to be able to reach a conclusion, at least one that satisfies my own personal view.

Acceptance of ‘our lifestyle choice’ has even reached the level of Harry Potter; Dumbledore, who was gay, was in love with Grindelwald until he discovered who he really was. This is a gay storyline in one of the most popular children’s books of all time; admittedly it is played down but make no mistake it’s there.

There are many fascinating theories and questions, for instance are you gay if you have same-sex desire, but never act on it? What if you’re a man who has had sex with other men, but you’re married to a woman and don’t identify as gay?

In my very inexpert opinion if you have any sort of sexual desire for the same-sex then you are homosexual and simply living a lie. This opinion I know will possibly upset many who think that living this life is OK so long as no one gets hurt. Eventually someone will be hurt, it is inevitable.

Despite the large body of opinion, usually religion-based, that homosexuality is both unnatural and immoral, the ‘choice’ argument is simply a myth. In 2011 Lady Gaga said it all with her rallying call, Born this Way, but we should never forget I Am What I Am.