50 Scene
ROGER’S RUMINATIONS
STUFF & THINGS
Choices, choices
Fun Express
) The debate about whether homosexuality is a choice has been activating opinions for years, from my point there is no debate, I was born like this. I have always known that I am gay, but whether it was a choice, that’s an interesting question.
) So, it’s July then! That rocked up fairly sharpish... once March came round it’s been full speed ahead with those months, hasn’t it? April appeared being all spring like, then May with its rain and the wonderful return of Eurovision, then June with its hints of summer and pub gardens and now Kerblam! It's July. The sweet, sweet passage of time. Supermarkets will be selling pointless crap for Halloween soon…
BY ROGER WHEELER
How does someone become homosexual? Did something go wrong at birth? These and other completely idiotic questions are still being asked of gay people, there seems to be no sensible answer that the bigots will accept, once they have formed an opinion it’s almost impossible to shift them. Words like ‘choice’, ‘preference’ and ‘lifestyle’ are loaded because they’ve been used to oppress sexual minorities. Can sexuality be ‘fluid’, a relatively new term, at least to me; this raises the whole question of bisexuality. Does such a thing actually exist? To my knowledge and to my own personal experience I don’t think that it does.
“How does someone become homosexual? Did something go wrong at birth? These and other completely idiotic questions are still being asked of gay people, there seems to be no sensible answer that the bigots will accept” Many years ago, peer group pressure almost forced me to have sex with several women, at the time I knew quite well that this wasn’t for me and for some time I felt guilty about giving these lovely ladies a completely false idea of who I was. Culture can affect views and opinions on homosexuality. As I have written about before, in some societies homosexuality is accepted, in others it is frowned upon but tolerated, and in 70 countries it is a serious criminal offence, possibly punishable by death. Would the citizens of those countries actually choose this way of life? Obviously not, they have no choice. When I was growing up in the ’60s I was aware of my attraction to men but had to hide the fact and pretend. At that time I would certainly not have chosen to be gay. There are many scientific papers written on this subject, none of which seem to be able to reach a conclusion, at least one that satisfies my own personal view. Acceptance of ‘our lifestyle choice’ has even reached the level of Harry Potter; Dumbledore, who was gay, was in love with Grindelwald until he discovered who he really was. This is a gay storyline in one of the most popular children’s books of all time; admittedly it is played down but make no mistake it’s there. There are many fascinating theories and questions, for instance are you gay if you have same-sex desire, but never act on it? What if you’re a man who has had sex with other men, but you’re married to a woman and don’t identify as gay? In my very inexpert opinion if you have any sort of sexual desire for the same-sex then you are homosexual and simply living a lie. This opinion I know will possibly upset many who think that living this life is OK so long as no one gets hurt. Eventually someone will be hurt, it is inevitable. Despite the large body of opinion, usually religion-based, that homosexuality is both unnatural and immoral, the ‘choice’ argument is simply a myth. In 2011 Lady Gaga said it all with her rallying call, Born this Way, but we should never forget I Am What I Am.
BY JON TAYLOR
And so, summer approaches with its (hopefully) long balmy evenings and everyone being on heat. I’ve kinda been on heat for months already. Being single over lockdown has not exactly been a wonderful experience. There’s been a distinct lack of physical activities. No itches have been scratched. It’s been interesting to hear of couples having to put up with each other due to them both working from home. And how they’ve been getting on each others nerves! Bless... ‘How dreadful it must be to have to spend more time with your soul mate,’ I’d think. ‘How awful to be mildly irritated by your life partner,’ and so on. I appreciate it might have grated for some couples to spend so much time together without seeing other people in any capacity but it did irritate me a bit as I could see no one at all!
”Everybody’s different and so everyone had their own moment to jump back on the saddle. Or jump onto something” Coming back out of it all and coming back to the, let’s call it the ‘dating world’ for discretion, was a tricky manoeuvre. When to come back onto the apps, when to start meeting people, when to start hooking up again and so on. And as for being indoors with someone either in a dating capacity or something more full on, that was a whole new kettle of fish. Actually, let’s clarify that. Coming back to the apps wasn’t a thing as I never really left them. Was still on them, perusing away, checking out so and so, looking at such and such but with hardly any desire or motivation to do anything about it. I think that was ‘The Fear’. The fear of Covid, and what might happen if you did meet someone. The not knowing if things were safe. This went on for weeks, nay months.
“It's been interesting to hear of couples having to put up each other due to them both working from home. And how they've been getting on each others nerves! Bless...” There were obviously guys, single or otherwise, who were meeting up throughout it all which is fine, that‘s up to them, it was when I was going to come back onto this moveable feast that was the question. Everybody‘s different and so everyone had their own moment to jump back on the saddle. Or jump onto something. I had to wait things out a bit, bide my time, see when I wasn‘t so racked with anxiety about the whole thing. And Lo, the time did come. And so I haven't exactly leapt aboard the Fun Express per se but have joined a nearby carriage with a few close friends. I'm using too many metaphors now so need to draw this feast, train, saddle discussion to a conclusion. But yes, I’m back on it and boy does it feel good!
