HYDES’ HOPES

He has your back

I’m only guessing, but I suspect that the past few months have been difficult. Lockdowns, restrictions, and bad news. You don’t need me to tell you that if you identify as queer then all of this can be even more challenging. But perhaps there’s a little help to be had in this year’s LGBTQ+ History Month theme of Body, Mind, Spirit, because in all probability at least one of these areas could do with an overhaul.

I certainly can’t give you any advice on how to look after your body as I’ve continually failed miserably to look after my own. I quite like being a bear, even a big bear, but if the truth be known I’m a big unhealthy bear. I eat all the wrong stuff, at the wrong time, and in the wrong amounts. I just found out that part of the problem is that I’m lactose intolerant. Have you tried lactose-free chocolate? It’s like the stuff they used to make cheap Easter eggs out of in the 1970s, but worse.

And I can’t give much advice about looking after your mind as I struggle a lot with my mental health.

But the bit about looking after your spirit, that I know a bit about. It’s been my anchor on many days and could be yours too.

As crazy as it sounds, I suggest that you imagine a God who loves you, cares for you, doesn’t judge you, and is always on your side

Meditation works for many people, as does yoga and mindfulness. The Muslim dervishes have various ways of tying up the mind and body so the spirit can be free (whirling dervishes for example) and like some Christians I love a labyrinth. There’s a lovely fingerprint labyrinth in Hove Park.

My favourite is just to pray. Not an ‘on my knees by the bed’ prayer, but a good walk and talk with God. As crazy as it sounds, I suggest that you imagine a God who loves you, cares for you, doesn’t judge you, and is always on your side. The kind of friend you don’t need to censure what you say with, or worry that they might think differently about you if you open up. The kind of radical friend who might give advice but wouldn’t say “I told you so” if you didn’t take it. Just talk to God in your head, or out loud if you prefer. (Folk will assume you’re on the phone, or maybe just exotic).

Don’t be anything but yourself in the moment. Be upset. Be angry. Be grateful. Be confused. Be genuine and open. Don’t be afraid to shout (better done in your head!), and to get things off your chest. Don’t bargain, or expect God to change anything for you, just expect God to be there and to listen. And don’t be surprised if one day you find that God talks back.