Inform issue 28

Issue 28

How to get fit The family way.

Finding new friends It’s never too late to make new connections.

It’s a case of puppy love

Man’s best friend brings many health benefits.

Slow cooker apple pie rice pudding

Save time with Online Member Services Access your account 24/7 Find out what you can still claim Check your benefit limits Update your details View your tax statements and more.

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We’re here to help If you need any further assistance, please call your Member Relations Team on 1800 249 966 between 8.30am and 5pm (AEST) Monday to Friday, or email corporate@guhealth.com.au

09 12

15 FEATURES

FAVOURITES

09 Getting the whole family fit can be

04 The buzz 06 5 mins with...

06 Q&A 07 Is it true?

08 In focus

child’s play

The family that plays together does more than stay together.

12 Finding new friends could be just what the doctor ordered

It’s never too late to make new connections.

15 How to stay healthy on the road

Tips to keep your and your family’s health on track while travelling.

20 It’s a case of puppy love

Man’s best friend brings health benefits beyond what medicine can deliver.

23 Keeping it together during separation

Ways to support and guide children through separation.

14 Wellness 18 Recipes 26 Get connected 27 Mindfulness colouring page

Managing Editor: Rachel Pace Features Editor: Emma Brown Art Director: Jodie Griffiths Contributors: Rachel Gerathy, Danielle Hoyle and Alicia Zaniewska.

Inform is published by GU Health.

This magazine may not be reproduced in part or in full without the written permission of the publishers. All expressions of opinion are opinions of the authors only and published on the basis that they are not regarded as representing the official opinion of Grand United Corporate Health Ltd (GU Health) unless expressly stated. GU Health accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions, advice, representations or information contained in this publication and readers should rely on their own advice and enquiries in making decisions affecting their own health, wellbeing and interest.

Contact Us: Email: corporate@guhealth.com.au

Grand United Corporate Health Ltd (GU Health) ABN 99 002 985 033 GPO Box 2988 Melbourne VIC 8060

Post: Reply Paid, GPO Box 2988, Melbourne, Vic 8060 Ph: 1800 249 966

Re-think Reduce Reuse Recycle

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GM’s MESSAGE

THE BUZZ

Hello and welcome to Issue 28 of Inform.

In this issue we explore the theme of family. We look at the many forms that family, love and support can come in.

We uncover ways you can make new connections, find friends and support from people you’re not related to on page 12. As well as where you can find love and support which doesn’t even come from humans, on page 20.

Pet owners often feel their fury friends are also part of the family. We meet a pet therapy dog and handler and discover the health benefits, love and support they bring to those in need.

Clinical Psychologist, Danielle Hoyle shares on page 23 how you can help support children dealing with separation.

And country musician Troy Cassar-Daley speaks to Inform about how his parents made their family work, despite being separated and living far apart.

Sydney Swans Academy, Head Coach, Jared Crouch shares his tips for encouraging children to play sport. Football star and personal trainer Ben Lucas shows how you can approach your fitness so that your performance as a parent or family member can soar, see page nine for more details.

Stacey Clare, a mum and accredited health coach shares a Mexican chicken bowl recipe, which is great for lunch boxes, and a slow cooker apple pie rice pudding which can be enjoyed for breakfast or dessert from page 18.

We also explore how you can keep healthy when travelling on your own and with the family, which includes a list of familyfriendly restaurant and café options nationwide on page 17.

Until next time, Healthy regards

Gary Elliott Executive General Manager GU Health

Do we have your email address?

Please let us know your latest email address.

You can do so by emailing your Member Relations Team corporate@guhealth.com.au or call 1800 249 966 between 8.30am and 5pm (AEST) Monday to Friday.

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24% for women

Four out five Australians don’t eat enough fruit and vegetables2

15% for men

According to the CSIRO 24 per cent of women and 15 per cent of men surveyed meet the fruit and vegetable Australian Dietary Guidelines. To help meet the benchmark, CSIRO suggests adults eat at least three serves of different vegetables every dinner.1 See page 7 for tips on how to increase your vegetable intake with snacks.

7-13 AUG

Dental Health Week Find out how to look after your smile: ada.org.au/dental-health-week/home

Sugary effects aren’t so sweet

Sugar sweetened beverages are high in kilojoules, leading to weight gain and obesity.

Tooth DECAY Many drinks contain acid that harms your teeth, including regular and diet soft drinks, sports/energy drinks and fruit juices. Acid weakens tooth enamel which can lead to tooth decay. Tooth decay is the most prevalent disease in Australia.2

The 2007 Australian National Children’s Nutrition and Physical Activity Survey found that

47% of children

(2 to 16 years of age) CONSUMED SUGAR SWEETENED BEVERAGES EVERY DAY. 2

Let’s get moving

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Physical inactivity is the second greatest contributor, behind tobacco smoking, to the cancer burden in Australia.4

SEP

The Australian Health Survey 2011–12 indicates that only one-third of children and one in ten young people undertook the recommended 60 minutes of physical activity every day.5 Find out more: exerciseright.com.au/kids/

See tips on how to get the whole family moving on page 9.

A conversation could change a life.

By asking “Are you ok?” and listening, we can help people struggling with life feel connected long before they even think about suicide.

Globally 800,000 people die by suicide each year – that’s one person every 40 seconds.3 See page 12 for tips on how to start a conversation, make new connections and find support.

Find out more information: ruok.org.au

Delta Society therapy dog teams visit over 20,000 people a week. facilities have a waitlist for a Delta Society therapy dog.

Pets are part of the family A UK study found that children get more satisfaction from their pets than their brothers and sisters.7 Read more on page 20.

Research shows that the majority of pet owners are healthier than those without pets.8 You can help our fury friends by donating, volunteering or attending an animal charity event for the Delta Society or the Australian Welfare League (see some statistics of their work below to protect animals).

The 2015–2016 Australian Welfare League NSW statistics:

8,676 animals desexed

2,542 animals adopted

References: 1. CSIRO, 3 April 2017, ‘Report warns Australian diets lacking in fruit and vegetables’ <viewed 3 April 2017: https://www.csiro.au/en/News/News-releases/2017/ Diets-Lacking-in-Fruit-and-Vegetables.> 2. Walsh LJ. Black Cola drinks, oral health and general health: an evidence-based approach. ADA News Bulletin, 2008.

3. World Health organisation, Mental health Suicide data, <viewed 6 April 2017: http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide/suicideprevent/en/. > 4. Global Health Risks: Mortality and burden of disease attributable to selected major risks. World Health Organization, 2009. Within document: Australian Government Department of Health, Australian Physical Activity and Sedentary Behaviour Guidelines Adults, http://www.health.gov.au/internet/main/publishing. nsf/Content/F01F92328EDADA5BCA257BF0001E720D/$File/brochure%20PA%20Guidelines_A5_18-64yrs.PDF 5. Australian Bureau of Statistics, 19/07/2014, 4364.0.55.004 - Australian Health Survey: Physical Activity, 2011-12, <viewed 7 April 2017: http://www.abs.gov.au/ ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4364.0.55.004main+features12011-12. > 6. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, Matthew T Cassels, Naomi White, Nancy Gee, Claire Hughes, One of the family? Measuring young adolescents’ relationships with pets and siblings, Volume 49, March–April 2017, Pages 12–20, http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0193397317300084 7. Delta Society, n.d, ‘Why Pet Therapy’, <viewed 3 April 2017: http://www.deltasociety.com.au/pages/why-pet-therapy-.html. > guhealth.com.au

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FAVOURITE

ly

on e l p m

sa

Q&A

Q: Can I submit multiple extras claims online,

including on behalf of my family members, in one go?

5 mins with...

Name: David Camilleri Position: Account Executive Time with GU Health: 9 years and 9 months My new role at GU Health involves... assisting the Senior Client Advisers.

People who know me would describe me as... caring, fun and too talkative.

Being part of the GU Health team has impacted my wellbeing by... inspiring me to keep healthy.

I love to spend my weekends... cooking for family and friends, a full kitchen filled with laughter is when I’m happiest.

My challenge for 2017 is… to keep fit, expand my circle of friends and take advantage of what my new home Sydney and New South Wales has to offer.

My favourite forms of exercise/activity are... running, walking or bike riding.

I am most inspired by… those who have the least in the world.

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If you have any questions about health insurance that you’d like us to answer, email them to magazine@guhealth.com.au Yes you can make multiple extras claims online, with our Flex-eClaim system.

You can claim for any family members included in your family membership in the one submission and you’ll receive your payments faster too.

For example, you can submit claims for a physio appointment for your partner, a dental check-up for your daughter and a chiropractic appointment for yourself in one go, as long as these services are applicable to your level of cover.

Just log in to your Online Member Services area at guhealth.com.au and select ‘Flex-eClaim’ from the Claims dropdown menu, accept the terms and conditions and follow these easy steps: Step 1: Upload a photo of your first itemised account/invoice.

Step 2: Fill in your details: select the patient, Date of service and service type.

You’ll then be prompted for an item number or description of your service, such as acupuncture, then select your provider.

Flex-eClaim remembers the providers you’ve used in the past and allows you to duplicate items, so you don’t have to enter them each time.

Step 3: Select “add item”. Your claim summary will then be displayed at the bottom of the screen.

Step 4: Add your next claim: scroll to the top of the page and repeat the above steps.

Step 5: Confirm the details: after you’ve entered all your claims, click on the confirm button to submit.

Once your claims are approved our FastBack service deposits the benefits into your nominated bank account within two business days.

For more information check out: guhealth.com.au/my-membership/claim-now or call your Member Relations Team on 1800 249 966 between 8.30am and 5pm (AEST) Monday to Friday with any questions you may have about how to make a claim.

FAVOURITE

Is it true?

Is it really healthy?

We asked Accredited Practising Dietitian (APD), Alicia Zaniewska if some so called ‘healthy’ foods are that healthy and ‘bad’ foods really that bad?

The good news is there are no good and bad foods. Rather than labelling foods as good versus bad Alicia Zaniewska, Health Coach and APD from Remedy Healthcare, advises to categorise them into everyday and sometimes foods.

“It can be overwhelming and confusing with all the fear mongering about foods that are seen as ‘bad’. It’s better to identify and focus on foods which provide us with important nutrients which should make up our everyday foods.”

The Australian Dietary Guidelines recommends eating five serves of vegetables and two serves of fruit per day.

Everyday foods The Australian Dietary Guidelines recommends eating five serves of vegetables and two serves of fruit per day. Currently only four per cent of Australians are doing that.

“Focus on getting the basics right first to meet the core five food group

recommendations, which are: vegetables, fruit, protein, dairy or alternatives and carbohydrates. If you focus on getting these basics right then you don’t need those discretionary foods, or only as a sometimes treat,” says Alicia.

35 per cent of Australians’ total energy intake comes from discretionary foods.

Discretionary foods Discretionary foods are sometimes foods as they’re higher in saturated fat, sugar, salt and calories but low in fibre examples are: • chocolate, lollies, cookies and biscuits • processed snacks like muesli bars and crisps • processed meats, like salami and hot dogs • soft drinks and alcohol.

We don’t need these foods to give us the nutrients we need. However 35 per cent of Australians’ total energy intake comes from discretionary foods, explains Alicia.

“Many snacks are discretionary as we’re often looking for convenience in our time poor world, for that pick me up to satisfy us quickly.”

Food Myth: muesli bars are ‘healthy’ everyday snacks “Processed snacks like muesli bars have higher amounts of fat and sugar than non-processed foods.”

Alicia suggests that we get our main meals right and opt for nutritious snacks from the five food groups, including vegetables, such as carrot, cucumber and cherry tomatoes for snacks.

If you’re exercising and expending more energy you’ll require more food to match that, but the first choice should be from the five food groups.

Food Myth: It’s best to eat superfoods It’s not to say these foods aren’t nutritious, but often the benefits claimed are not backed up by quality research.

Rather than focusing on one superfood aim for a ‘super diet’ with a variety of foods from the five food groups. 

For more info: eatforhealth.gov.au/guidelines guhealth.com.au

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IN FOCUS

More than just tooth fairies The tooth fairy makes losing children’s teeth fun but keeping them in good shape should also be fun, Oral Health Therapist, Marzia Danesh tells Inform.

Making visits to the dentist a pleasant experience and brushing teeth fun, can set children up with good oral health habits for life, says Marzia Danesh from Australian Unity Dental South Melbourne.

“It’s important children first visit the dentist for a check-up when they’re not in pain and to start early so they’re familiar with the environment,” says Marzia.

“Usually children see the dentist when they’re in pain which can develop into a phobia and anxiety. We want children to have a good relationship with the dentist; a visit should be a pleasant experience.”

Before teeth arrive Generally wipe an infant’s oral cavity with a piece of gauze to keep clean.

Play with the first toothbrush When the baby teeth start to come through use a small, soft toothbrush to play around with like a game under parental supervision. And to wean toddlers onto brushing once before bed then twice daily.

Introducing toothpaste When parents are comfortable their child can spit out the toothpaste they can use a pea size amount of baby toothpaste.

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Parents should instruct them to spit out the toothpaste and to continue supervising up to around ten years.

When most adult teeth have erupted at approximately 12 to 13 years, flossing can be introduced.

“Often children ingest toothpaste, even at grade one and two that’s why supervision and reminding them to spit it out is important.”

When to see an Orthodontist

How we made brushing teeth fun Executive Assistant and mother of two daughters aged 9 and 11, Mandy Serhan motivated her girls to brush their teeth by letting them choose their own fun toothbrushes such as Barbie branded ones.

“When they were younger we brushed our teeth together, so they

“We recommend a dental check-up so the dentist can advise if children should see an orthodontist and refer them.” observed how I used circles and to never swallow the toothpaste,” says Mandy.

She said that a ‘lovely’ oral hygienist showed them how to floss so it didn’t scare them to go to the dentist and they loved going away with bags of goodies including floss.

“We said that the ‘tooth fairy wants good quality teeth’ to encourage them to brush twice a day.”

Make brushing teeth fun with The Wiggles In partnership with Australian Unity The Wiggles have produced an app to encourage kids to brush their teeth.

Download the Brush Teeth with the Wiggles app for free on the App Store or Google Play. 

FEATURE

Getting the whole family fit The family that plays together does more than stay together – playing together can instil teamwork, motivation and healthy habits for life.

During safety briefings flight attendants instruct parents that in an emergency they should put the oxygen mask on themselves first, then to place the mask on their children. Former professional footballer, personal trainer and parent Ben Lucas believes this is the best approach to take with your health and fitness so that your performance as a parent or family member can soar.

“We need to take care of our own health first so we can then take care of our loved ones too.”

The Flow Athletic Director says that it’s important to keep fit and healthy so you can look after yourself, so you’re able to cope with the rigours of being a parent as well as setting great examples for children.

“When I was a kid it was all about riding a bike, playing touch football, basketball and swimming, rather than today where kids are often attached to tech devices,” he acknowledges.

It’s a challenge to keep yourself and your loved ones fit, to compete with our smart phone obsessed culture, finding the time and catering for the different abilities and interests of a multigenerational family.

“My dad is the best tennis player… my dad’s the ace master.”

So how can we keep the whole family fit?

Be a good role model Play.Sport.Australia. the Australian Sports Commission's participation game plan report states that sport is facing a challenge even in our seemingly sports obsessed nation. “Sports are operating in a rapidly changing environment where Australians are increasingly time-poor, have limited budgets and are inundated by new forms of entertainment.”1 “My dad is the best tennis player… my dad’s the ace master.”

“She has lots of powers… it goes in the hoop like magic… my super mum.”

These are some of the lines said by kids about their parents who play sport, in the Commission’s video Heroes: you’re their hero if you play sport.2 Ben agrees with the strategy that the key to encouraging an active lifestyle

for younger generations is for parents to lead by example.

The father of a seven-month old, Ben advises going for a walk on the weekend, as this sets a good example for developing healthy habits in children.

Accredited Exercise Scientist, Nardine Presland from Exercise & Sports Science Australia agrees that if you can just get moving at least something is better than nothing.

“Building activity into your life is a good way for parents to demonstrate positive habits for kids, such as parking further away from the supermarket, taking the stairs or walking instead of driving to get milk,” says Nardine.

“You can make a game at the shopping centre too where one parent takes the lift and the other takes the stairs and time it to see who’s quicker.” guhealth.com.au

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Provide inspiration Mother of four, Jennifer O’Leary took up running after she lost a premature baby.

“I started running for premature babies two years ago and before that I hadn’t run more than three kilometres.”

Her husband saw the flyer for the premature babies’ half-marathon running team in hospital when Jen had their son Isaac and his twin (who didn’t survive).

Her husband completed the half marathon and she took part in the seven kilometre relay. She then completed the 42 kilometre New York Marathon. Her latest event was the run leg of the Husky Long Course triathlon, which inspired her kids to take part in the sport too.

“They were really excited to see the younger ones doing the junior bike leg and run and want to do it next year. It’s great for the kids to see their parents try new things, be active and focus on improving, not just winning.”

Sydney Swans Academy, Head Coach, Jared Crouch and father of three boys said that parents are no doubt the most important role models, in everything including being active.

“If I just sit on the couch, they’ll sit on the couch, if I go outside we get the balls and bikes out even if they watch footy on the TV they’re not going to get out and do it, unless I get out and play with them.”

When the 2005 premiership winning player was growing up with his four

brothers they were really active.

“We’d play cricket, have soccer tournaments, but AFL was the favourite, we’d have two teams with the jumpers on and mark out a football ground with sponsors’ logos and create banners to run through, we were lucky dad used to play football and mum did athletics and netball.”

His two and four year-old boys also want to be coaches and blow the whistle like dad does at training.

Be accountable

Teamwork

Ben advises to be accountable to someone too, from paying for a personal trainer, meeting a friend, signing up for a boot camp or committing to your family.

“We all go through peaks and troughs of motivation. If you only trained when you felt like it you wouldn’t do it consistently.”

“But if you have a goal you’re working towards and accountability to your training buddy or family such as taking the kids out to throw the ball or shoot some hoops, they won’t let you back out of that one.”

“A champion team always beats a team of champions,” says Jared.

The teamwork you learn in a sporting environment also helps with family life.

“Being active with your kids also helps build relationships with them, if you’re more involved in one aspect of their lives [sport] this will help with other aspects too. Being able to reminisce and share those feelings as a family is beneficial too.”

“The family doesn’t have to be mum, dad and two kids, it can be single parent and a child whatever the family looks like let’s celebrate every person that helps along the way.”

Get outside and play Nardine says that being active outside doesn’t need to be structured. For children 5 and under encourage play and for over 12 you can add more ‘huff and puff’ sessions.

See the Australian physical activity guidelines on the following page, recommended by the Government to provide a minimum of what children of certain ages should do to reduce sedentary behavior.

“Ask them to play and see what they come up with, you might need to start them off by doing a hopping race, but kids have better imaginations, they 10

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don’t need anything, just the space and opportunity. It’s amazing what kids come up with for games such as hopscotch or making an obstacle course using furniture. You don’t need to spend money or go anywhere.”

“Getting their energy out, is a great way to release stress in parents and children too.”

“If it’s a rainy day you can incorporate physical activity at home by building a cubby house, or playing balloon volley ball inside, there are lots of things you can do.”

“It wasn’t just my dad, mum and brother who got me there (as a professional football player) it was my aunties, uncles, grandparents, team members, the coach, it’s everyone involved that helps.”

Keep it fun “For parents try and be a kid yourself and have fun. Kids love to see their parents get goofy,” says Nardine.

Jared also believes that unless it’s enjoyable no matter how much you encourage kids they won’t want to do it.

“Even at the highest level of sport you only ever perform your best if you’re enjoying it,” says the Swans juniors coach.

“But it’s also not all hugs, [in junior sport] it’s a combination of teaching, creating a positive environment and giving them opportunities.”

“How about we go for another kick?” and “I’d like to do this with you” are ways to keep positive if your child’s finding the sports skills challenging. Also learn the skills yourself so you can appreciate the difficulties, advises Jared.

Games you can play: • who can run to the tree quicker?

• who can kick more goals? (You can use a tree rather than AFL poles and guide them to follow through, look ahead and not close their eyes).

“Every kid wants to beat their parent but don’t let them win all the time. They have to learn how to lose as much as how to win,” says Jared.

Schedule the time Nardine advises to have a family talk asking everyone what’s one physical activity that the whole family would like

to do together such as going for a walk before school or going to the pool for a swim on Saturday morning.

“Make it a routine or ritual that’s special to the family and include everyone in the decision making.”

Ben advises to set aside appointments in your calendar to exercise and commit to them.

“You make sure to turn up to see your boss for a meeting, have that same level of commitment.”

Also have a Plan B if the best laid plans go out the window you’re still making time to be active.

Australian physical activity guidelines by ages3 Ages

Duration of physical activity throughout the day

Examples

0 to 5 years

3 hours

0 to 1 year Floor-based play, playful movements to music and bath time 1 to 5 years Ball games, hide-and-seek, move to songs like ‘Ring-A-Ring-A-Rosie’ and walking instead of being driven or using the stroller

5 to 17 years

60 minutes moderate to vigorous intensity

5 to 12 years Moderate: fast walking, bike riding and active play Vigorous: running, playing tag, soccer or netball 13 to 17 years Moderate: recreational swimming, social tennis, dancing or bike riding Vigorous: jogging, circuit training, basketball, soccer or netball For more information go to: health.gov.au 

Did you know?

Only 19 per cent of Australian children and young people aged 5-17 years are accumulating 60 minutes of exercise every day of the week. 4

Find a sporting club near you: Find a local junior sporting club: play.afl, netsetgo.asn.au, myfootballclub.com.au, triathlon.org.au or ausport.gov.au/about/ australian_sports_directory.

Join in activities such as parkrun: parkrun.com.au or Surf Life Saving Nippers: sls.com.au/club_directory

References: 1. Australian Sports Commission, n.d, Play. Sport. Australia. The Australian Sports Commission’s participation game plan, < viewed: 07 April 2017: http://ausport. gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0006/625902/PlaySportAustralia_brochure_MARCH_15_web.pdf > 2. Australian Sports Commission, n.d, Play. Sport. Australia. < viewed: 07 April 2017: http://www.ausport.gov.au/participating/playsportaustralia.> 3. Active Healthy Kids Australia, 2016, Physical Literacy: Do Our Kids Have All the Tools? 2016 Report Card on Physical Activity for Children and Young People, <viewed 7 April 2017: http://www.activehealthykidsaustralia.com.au/siteassets/documents/ahka-2016-long_form-report-card.pdf.> 4. Active Healthy Kids Australia, 2016, Physical Literacy: Do Our Kids Have All the Tools? 2016 Report Card on Physical Activity for Children and Young People.

Page 10, <viewed 7 April 2017: http://www.activehealthykidsaustralia.com.au/siteassets/documents/ahka-2016-long_form-report-card.pdf.> guhealth.com.au

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FEATURE

Finding new friends could be just what the doctor ordered Whether you’re single, moved to a new country, grown apart from old friends, suffered a loss, or are just looking for a new social outlet, it’s never too late to make new connections.

Dr Tanveer Ahmed knows what it’s like to have to make new friends. He moved to Australia when he was five years old from Bangladesh. His parents migrated to provide safety, hope and opportunity for their children. He went on to study medicine and became a psychiatrist.

His book The Exotic Rissole, details the complicated experiences of moving to a strange new land where his mum was at first miserable, feeling guilty about working and leaving her baby daughter in the care of others.

“She dreamt of the care she would have received from the extended family if we’d remained in Bangladesh. But we needed the money desperately. For six months we did without a fridge because my father needed to pay for the dowry and wedding of his sister in Bangladesh.”

One of his mother’s lost in translation moment's was when she proudly wore a modern Australian dress, until her friend 12

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explained that she was wearing a nightie in the daytime.

Moving to a new country without extended family is fraught with challenges and risks of social isolation. One of his patients went from driving a taxi and dodging bombs in Afghanistan to living in sunny Sydney, but found the battles here too much to cope with.

“Even though he’d been through so much, the struggle of Sydney suburbia without family pushed him over the edge,” says Dr Ahmed.

“High expectations can come crashing down. Some refugees think that Australia is like a ‘mini heaven with money falling from the sky’. They’re shocked to find out how self-reliant you have to be with no extended family.”

Even though it’s a challenge initially, he says that people connect with school or work and make friends over time and “for the most part it works out.”

Even though it’s a challenge initially, people connect with school or work and make friends over time and "for the most part it works out".

Finding new friends and making connections can combat isolation, make you happier, make it easier to cope with life’s transitions and be beneficial for your health too.

Clinical Psychologist and Chief Happiness Officer of the Happiness Institute, Dr Timothy Sharp says that it’s important to recognise the risks

make friends if they do it in their own way,” he says.

Ways to make new friends and connections:

Isolation is more than just being alone.

According to Connect2Affect it’s the result of feeling detached physically or psychologically, or being disconnected from support groups of family, friends and community. The health risks of prolonged isolation are said to be equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.1 According to the Australian Red Cross, loneliness can be a bigger killer than smoking, obesity or drinking.2

Start a conversation

Studies have shown that people with satisfying relationships with their friends, family and community are happier, healthier and live longer. Positively connecting with others may help to reduce harmful levels of stress, which can lead to associated health benefits including improving immunity, according to Harvard Health.3 associated with isolation and the benefits from building and maintaining positive relationships.

“It may well be harder for some than others, but everyone can reach out and

Where to find support and make connections • BeyondBlue – call 1300 224 636 for immediate support: beyondblue.org.au • Australian Breastfeeding Association – for mothers’ support groups: breastfeeding.asn.au/ contacts/groups • Australia Red Cross Community Visitors Scheme pairs volunteers with seniors for social visits: homesredcross.org.au/ community-visitors-scheme.aspx • Miners’ Promise – supports resources sector members and their families: minerspromise.org.au • Meetup – you can start your own group or meet people who share your interests: meetup.com • The Australian Seniors Computer Clubs Association: ascca.org.au.

Get involved Join new groups such as a church, community group or volunteering, advises Carla. Focus on your interests to point you in the right direction to find a good fit such as craft, mothers’ or sporting groups.

Dr Sharp advises joining any club or association that you’re passionate about, or is simply geographically convenient, and regularly schedule social activities into your days and weeks.

“Research suggests that volunteering also has enormous health benefits and involves interacting with others”.

Keep connected If your friends or family are far away keep connected with them over the phone, Skype or email, says Carla.

Dr Ahmed recommends older people learn to use technology to keep connected. One of his client’s highlight of the week is when they're Skyping with their grandchild in Canada.

The Australian Seniors Computer Clubs Association and some local councils provide free online training.

You can also foster new connections through online services. “Even though someone might have family here it doesn’t mean they’re connected or

MindStepTM Mental Health Coach, Carla Spyropoulos advises that starting a conversation is really important.

Sometimes people feel guilty for laying problems on people, but she encourages reaching out.

“Sometimes you think you’re the only one that feels this way but friends often feel the same,” she said. “Seeing friends regularly and undertaking enjoyable activities, such as going for a walk or having a friend over for a cup of tea, even for 30 minutes can have such a big impact.”

Often people don’t know what services and groups are available You can ask your doctor or health professional and see the box below left for more options.

engaged in a meaningful way anymore,” says Dr Ahmed.

Finding friends in a new city Account Executive, David Camilleri moved interstate for his job “Leaving 42 years’ worth of family and friends was hard. To alleviate that feeling of knowing no one and to help make new friends and connections, I joined a running group, introduced myself to my local Catholic church and joined the Maltese council of NSW.” He's also volunteering in the kitchen for the OzHarvest charity.

Learn something new “Don’t be afraid of trying new things.

You’re likely to meet others who are also interested in the same things”, says Dr Sharp.

And don’t feel as though you have to do it all alone. There are a myriad of resources available, in all countries and cities, to help people of all ages connect and come together.

“There’s no need to rush or to do too much too quickly, so just take things slowly and surely and allow yourself and your new relationships time to grow and develop.” 

References: 1. Connect2Affect, About Isolation, n.d. <viewed 20 March 2017: http://connect2affect.org/about-isolation/ >.

2. Australian Red Cross, Check mate - a match made in heaven, n.d. <viewed 20 March 2017: http://www.redcross.org.au/cvs-roy-brett.aspx >.

3. Harvard Health Publications 2010, The health benefits of strong relationships, viewed 19 September 2016 <http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/thehealth-benefits-of-strong-relationships> guhealth.com.au

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FEATURE

The kids are doing it for themselves Traditionally babies are spoon fed.

Baby led weaning is an alternative way to instil healthy eating patterns and include babies in family mealtimes.

Based on the observation that babies are able to feed themselves, advocates of baby led weaning (BLW) believe that introducing solids by emphasising self rather than spoon feeding encourages healthy eating patterns and healthy weight, as the infant’s in control of their intake as well as presenting the baby with a variety of tastes and textures.

How do I start baby led weaning?

Offer bub a selection of nutritious finger foods suitable for their age. The best time to introduce solids is at family meal times.

Start with general family foods with a variety of tastes and textures rather than encouraging them to eat large amounts.

Foods shaped like a stick or handle are great, as babies can only clasp food in their fists, the pincer grip (which allows them to pick up smaller items like a single pea) won’t yet have developed.

Foods suitable for BLW are ones a baby can pick up and self-feed or mouth, such as: • finger foods e.g. soft sliced fruit • soft vegetable sticks, such as broccoli spears • toast crusts and slices • lamb cutlets with some gristle and meat left on it they can mouth and suck on • yoghurt or soft mashed vegetables

can be pre-loaded onto a spoon or tray for bub to pick up.

BLW gives infants the chance to: • explore food without pressure to eat • join in with the rest of the family at mealtimes • feed themselves when they’re ready • choose how much and what to eat, from what is offered.

Supporters of BLW agree that the process can be very messy and involves lots of waste, but this is part of learning.

In time, a child given patience and a relaxed feeding environment will begin to become more efficient with feeding themselves.  The Australian Infant Feeding1 Guidelines recommends introducing solids when your baby is ready at around six months of age, but not before four months. Signs your baby may be ready for solids are they: • sit upright and hold their head steady • put objects in their mouth to chew • grab objects with accuracy • show interest in what you’re eating and may reach for your food • have lost the tongue-thrust reflex that pushes food out of the mouth.

Foods suitable for infants 0 to seven months Breastmilk is the best food in the first six months, otherwise a suitable infant formula. At around six months babies require more nutrients. The best solid foods to introduce are iron-rich such as meats, legumes, spinach, brown rice and oatmeal.2 Start with small volumes equivalent to half a teaspoon puree or graspable BLW foods as listed previously.

Foods suitable for toddlers from eight months From this age babies will like to feed themselves more. Finger foods they can grasp such as toast, steamed carrot sticks, cheese slices, cooked meat or fish strips and soft fruits.

Encourage your toddler to drink cooled boiled water throughout the day.3 *Babies develop at different rates, solid food recommendations generally suit most babies. If you have any concerns, discuss with your GP or child health professional.

References: 1. National Health and Medical Research Council 2012, Infant Feeding Guidelines, Australian Government, viewed 13 March 2017,https://www.nhmrc.gov.au/ guidelines-publications/n56 2. Baker R, and Greer F, 2010, ‘Diagnosis and prevention of iron deficiency and iron-deficiency anaemia in infants and young children (0-3 years of age)’, Pediatrics vol 126, pp 1040-1050, http://www.pediatrics.org/cgi/content/full/126/5/1040 3. Government of Western Australia Department of Health, 2014, Baby’s first foods, viewed 17 March 2017, https://www.health.wa.gov.au/docreg/Education/ Population/Child_Health/Feeding/HP003055_babys_first_foods.pdf 14

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FEATURE

How to stay healthy on the road Making healthy choices can be challenging at the best of times. If you’re travelling for business or pleasure, airports, long days, hotel living and road trips, can be filled with temptation. Find out how to keep your and your family’s health on track.

Eating healthily when you’re on the move can sometimes feel like an unwinnable battle. The endless eating out, processed snacks at your fingertips and the fatigue from travelling can derail the best of intentions. See our tips below so you can make it easy to stick to healthy food choices for yourself and your family.

to keep everything cold and include healthy snacks such as fresh fruit and unsalted nuts.

• Drive or eat, not both. It only takes ten minutes to eat a snack or a sandwich, so pull over and appreciate your food.

Mealtime tips

Tips on keeping healthy while traveling • If you’re flying domestically, try to eat beforehand so you can skip airport food, or look out for fruit salad, multigrain sandwiches, unsalted nuts, brown rice sushi and salads.

• Avoid plane snacks (like muffins and pretzels) – they’re energy dense, but won’t fill you up.

• Always keep a water bottle with you.

• Avoid buying your food where you buy your fuel.

• Plan ahead – pack a cooler bag with a sandwich or some leftovers, freeze yoghurt or a bottle of water

Breakfast • Eat breakfast, ideally within 30 minutes of getting up.

• If you have a busy day, include protein, such as nuts, eggs and or baked beans.

• A bacon and egg roll isn’t the only option. Look for fruit salad with muesli and yoghurt.

• If you’re craving sugar, you may be hungry or thirsty. So start with water and something healthy then see how you feel. guhealth.com.au

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Night life • Treat it like a school night. If you’d usually have a glass of wine with dinner, have one. If you wouldn’t, then don’t.

• If you’re out with clients and it’s three courses all round, order light.

Choose seafood or a salad to start, leave some of the main on your plate and share a cheese plate for dessert.

• Get to bed on time. If you’re overtired you may find that your best intentions fly out the window.

• The aim is to keep travel as similar to normal life as possible. Make healthy choices and eat regularly.

When you get home • When you cook curries, casseroles

A healthy recipe for travelling with kids

or similar dishes, freeze a portion.

You’ll have your own ready meals waiting for you.

• Order groceries online to be delivered as soon as you get home.

Or look into arranging a no-fuss healthy food box delivery, such as hellofresh.com.au. You have no excuses, with all the recipes and ingredients sorted and sent straight to your doorstep.

• If the thought of cooking exhausts you, stop by a chicken shop where you can buy a salad to go or grab some sushi (preferably brown rice) on your way home.

• Stick a list of healthy takeaway options on your fridge.

Tips if you’re taking your pet too

Making healthy food choices whilst travelling with kids can be even more of a challenge. Young children are often fussy eaters, add to that unfamiliar locations and disrupted meal times and you can have a recipe for mealtime battles.

Eating healthy when travelling with kids made easy:

Flying

Driving

• Ask your travel agent or hotel concierge for family-friendly dining options.

• Ring ahead to ask if the restaurant has healthy meals for children.

• Try to keep a mealtime routine, such as breakfast every morning and dinner around the same time each night.

• Try to book a long haul flight overnight to coincide with your child’s sleeping and eating habits.

• Encourage plenty of fluids to prevent dehydration.

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• Plan ahead for regular breaks for toilet stops, to reduce chances of motion sickness, to move and stretch the legs.

• Avoid the habit of travelling and indulging in sweets, such as muffins, cakes, biscuits and highsugar cereal bars.

• Pack healthy snacks like cheese slices and wholegrain crackers, ones made from roasted chickpeas, veggie sticks, plain yoghurt, dried and fresh fruit and water bottles.

• Avoid drive throughs and poor take away choices, enjoy a prepared picnic together.

By Companion Animal Veterinarian, Dr Anne Fawcett.

• Make sure your microchip details are up-to-date so that if your pet becomes lost you can be contacted immediately.

• If your pet has a medical condition, have a pre-trip check-up and stock up on any necessary medications.

• Be aware of the nearest veterinary clinic at your holiday destination.

• Make sure your pet has access to water and plan for toilet stops every one to two hours when driving.

Tips to make travelling with children a little easier • Pack some toys and games to keep them occupied. Even if it’s only a 10-minute window, it’s worthwhile.

• Bring a first aid kit, filled with plenty of band aids, insect spray, a hat and sunscreen.

• Take your stroller in the car for the stops on your trip, to get some fresh air and explore along the way.

• Get your ‘i-spy’ hat on and have some music to play, even if it’s The Wheels on the Bus, on repeat to keep them entertained.

• Pack supplies the night before including nappies, plenty of wipes, clean clothes and a towel.

• If you’re flying, wrap up a few small toys that you can give to your child as presents during the flight.

• Take a blanket and a pillow in the car so they’re more comfortable and more likely to sleep.

• Take a shade cloth for the car window to keep the sun off your child’s face.

At the buffet • Encourage a balanced meal using the child friendly 1/3’s plate rule: (see the diagram on the right).

• Limit unhealthy sides like hot chips.

• Share large finger food entrées, as kid’s meals are often high calorie and low nutrition like chicken nuggets and schnitzel.

• The key is to plan ahead to reduce stress and mealtime meltdowns!

*Contributed by Goodstart Early Learning

1/3 carbohydrate (preferably wholegrain)

Wholegrain/wholemeal toast or untoasted natural muesli

1/3 protein (preferably low or reduced fat)

Poached egg or natural yoghurt

1/3 fruit or veg Tomato and avocado slices or fruit salad

Family friendly places to eat Corner Store The café offers a breakfast and lunch children’s menu including favourites like eggs and soldiers and toasties. The cottage setting overlooks a herb and vegetable garden, which provides fresh ingredients for the kitchen.

Locations: Toowong, Brisbane, Qld. cornerstorecafe.com District North The kids menu has a range of options from pandan pancakes to gnocchi as well as a large blackboard for drawing on.

Locations: Moonee Ponds, Melbourne, Vic. districtnorth.com.au Jamie’s Italian Has a healthy kid-friendly menu, including king salmon and seven vegetables tomato pasta.

Locations: ACT, NSW, Qld, SA and WA. jamieoliver.com/italian/australia Oliver’s Real Food An organic fast food chain, the childfriendly menu includes edamame cup, steamed green beans, sushi and wholemeal sandwich lunch packs with carrot sticks, sultanas and natural Greek yoghurt.

The Grounds of Alexandria The café comes complete with a petting zoo. The kids meal and drink options include orecchiette pasta and kingfish.

The restaurant’s blog shares fun kids recipes such as edible spiders.

Location: Alexandria, Sydney, NSW thegrounds.com.au THR1VE

The kid-friendly cafe is also parentfriendly with great coffee. The kid’s menu includes a sourdough toastie and pandan waffles and a massive chalkboard and toys for the little ones.

The chain of real food, real fast, stores have a breakfast, lunch and dinner children’s menu with no added sugar.

From Greek yoghurt with a crunchy nut mix or free-range scrambled eggs to choosing your own ingredients bowls of rice, mash, greens or zucchini noodles with grilled chicken, pulled beef or roasted pork.

Locations: South Perth, WA.

Locations: ACT, NSW, Qld, and Vic.

facebook.com/sprolocoffee

thr1ve.me 

Locations: ACT, NSW, Qld and Vic. oliversrealfood.com.au Sprolo

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RECIPES

Slow cooker apple pie rice pudding

Pop everything into your slow cooker, as you go to bed turn it on and in the morning you’ll have this delicious wholefoods breakfast.

Preparation:

Cooking time:

Serves:

5 minutes

4 hours

Approx 10

GF

WF

Ingredients 5 green apples, peeled and chopped into 2cm slices 1½ cups brown rice, rinsed well 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon ½ teaspoon ground nutmeg (optional) ½ teaspoon ground cloves (optional)

Method: 1. Place half of the cut apples on the base of the slow cooker and pour the rinsed brown rice on top.

2 x 400 millilitre cans full fat coconut cream 4-5 cups water

2. Add the spices, followed by the coconut cream, water and dates. Top with the remaining apple.

5 medjool dates, roughly chopped

3. Cook on low for 4 hours and use the ‘keep warm’ function. If you don’t have a ‘keep warm’ function, pop it on for 6-7 hours on low. In the morning, eat it as is or you could add some milk, yoghurt or hot water to taste.

Competition corner

Serving suggestion: add a generous pour of kefir and lots of nuts and seeds on top – for a protein boost.

TOP TIP

Brown rice is a great option for breakfast and is ideal for a slow cooker. It has a lovely nutty taste, is low GI and is a great wholefood option for the whole family. Green ‘Granny Smith’ apples also have a lot less fructose than other fruits.

Congratulations to Rosie and Joe McMinigal, from Busselton WA who won a copy of The Blue Ducks’ Real Food cookbook in the last Inform competition for sharing their home grown food tips! One of their tips for living in an apartment is to grow herbs on a vertical wall on the balcony.

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From Stace’s Quick & Healthy Breakfasts e-book.

There are e-books up for grabs for the first five who share their family recipe by email to: magazine@guhealth.com.au.

Winners will be notified by email.

GU Health may publish the names and recipes of winners.

Mexican chicken bowls

DF

This Mexican inspired dish is great for dinner â&#x20AC;&#x201C; make extra for school lunch boxes.

Ingredients

Preparation:

Cooking time:

Serves:

10 minutes

15 minutes

Approx 4

Rice: 1 cup rice ½ teaspoon turmeric

Method:

1 teaspoon cumin seeds

1. Pop the rice on to cook with 2 cups of water and the herbs, covering until just cooked. Meanwhile, turn the oven on to the grill function and line a baking tray with baking paper.

200 grams tin corn kernels

200 grams tin black beans 1 lime

2. In a bowl, mix the panko crumbs with the Mexican spices. Then, in another bowl whisk the egg. To put the chicken together, dip each tenderloin in the egg, then in the panko crumb mix and then place on the oven tray. Pop them under the grill until the tops are crispy, turn and pop back in. It should only take about 10 minutes.

Olive oil

3. When the rice is done, stir through the lime juice, a drizzle of olive oil and the beans and corn.

2 tablespoons ground Mexican spices

Chicken: 300 grams chicken tenderloins 30 grams panko crumbs*

To serve:

1 egg

Pop a generous spoonful of the rice into bowls and top with the crispy chicken, cubed avocado, tomatoes and baby spinach leaves.

To serve:

Gluten-free option: use quinoa oats instead of panko crumbs.

1 punnet cherry tomatoes

Egg-free option: use a little honey to help the crumbs stick.

50 grams baby spinach

1 avocado

*Please note: you can also use normal breadcrumbs instead of panko crumbs.

TOP TIP

What are panko crumbs?

They are Japanese breadcrumbs which are lighter, crispier and airier than regular breadcrumbs and are perfect for fried foods, as they absorb less oil. They can be found in Asian sections of supermarkets or Asian supermarkets.

Recipe from Stacey Clare: staceyclare.com Stacey is a healthy mum to two young boys and an accredited health coach. Her food philosophy is all about simple, easy-to-cook food the whole family wants to eat. guhealth.com.au

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FEATURE

It’s a case of puppy love Dogs are known as man’s best friend for their loyalty and companionship.

They can also bring many health benefits beyond what medicine can deliver.

Words Emma Brown.

Dress for Success charity Operations Manager, Toni Purnell had been searching online for a while to find that special someone. She knew she’d found the one in Millie.

The dog has a great personality and looks to go with it. The pair were a good match from the start.

The object of Toni’s affection has a cheeky side.

“Her big brown eyes are a killer, she can get away with just about anything,” says Toni.

“But she’s got a powerful growl, when she feels threatened.”

Toni and five year-old ‘spanador’ (a labrador and cocker spaniel cross) Millie, (pictured centre) visit the neurology and stroke ward at the Royal Prince Alfred (RPA) hospital in Sydney every week, for 1.5 hours.

They are among an army of 1,100 Delta Society therapy dog teams whose mission it is to help some of our most 20

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vulnerable people. They bring a range of health and wellbeing benefits to over 20,000 people each week.

The therapy dogs visit around 850 facilities across Australia, in aged care, hospital wards ranging from cardiology, palliative care, infectious diseases,

mental health, dialysis, children’s wards, prisons and ordinary workplaces.

Gary Hance’s face brightens up when he sees Millie from his hospital bed after undergoing a nine-hour operation, his second surgery to remove a noncancerous brain tumour.

“Every day can be the same in hospital, it’s great to have a visit from a dog to have a different experience, to shake the dog’s paw,” says Gary.

As soon as Gary leans forward to pat Millie, his visiting brother Steve is relieved, “I then knew that he must feel alright”.

Pets can offer a range of physical and psychological health benefits from reduced stress, improved general health and mood. A recent UK study even found that children get more satisfaction from the bond with their animals than with their brothers and sisters.

The study in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology also found

2

Decreases agitation and sparks memories in dementia patients

Connie Caligiuri from Australian Unity’s aged care facility Rathdowne Place in Melbourne, says that for many of the residents who owned pets in the past, particularly dogs, it brings back a range of memories and emotions.

“The uncontrollable smiling and laughter never gets old. The memory loss many of our residents experience is in a way combatted, even for just 10 minutes by these visits, as residents talk about old pets which initiates conversations between residents and staff.”

3

that many people, young and old, consider pets to be members of their family.1 Toni wanted to share the benefits that Millie brings to her family with others in hospital, which can be a lonely place.

Around 90 per cent of patients agree to a visit from the pooch and they see the same people across two to three visits.

Five benefits that fury friends can bring:

1

Connection and communication beyond words

As soon as Millie walks into the ward the patient’s faces light up, many of them have suffered acute strokes.

“Some patients can’t communicate or vocalise but they can respond to the dog,” says Toni.

The patients greet Millie with a smile and her tail wags back. One patient who can’t speak English instantly spoke enthusiastically to Millie in Italian.

Royal Price Alfred Clinical Nurse Educator and Registered Nurse, Nino Jose says that a patient was declining from a stroke and that 'Millie' was the only word he was saying and his bed was surrounded with photos of the dog.

Combats social isolation

Companion Animal Veterinarian, Dr Anne Fawcett (pictured right) says that the benefits of pet therapy to humans include increased social interaction and decreased loneliness and depression in hospitalised patients.

“I am fortunate enough to be able to take my dog Phil to work some days.

Sometimes when an owner is distraught about their pet, or their animal has passed away, they hold Phil. The effect is incredible. Just holding and stroking him helps people calm down, relax a little and sometimes express their feelings more freely. We nickname him ‘Dr Phil’,” she says.

“Dogs bring that special kind of love.”

However she says that whatever we do, we need to think about what it might be like from the animal’s point of view too. One of her favourite quotes is by Professor John Webster who stressed that we can love animals all we like, but “what matters to animals is not what we think and feel but what we do.”

Delta Society volunteer, Sue O’Donohoe brings her dog Maggie to Rathdowne Place. She agrees that the fundamental benefit is simply unconditional love.

“I just love to see the smiles that Maggie brings, for some people we’re the only visitor they get,” says Sue. One of the residents, 74 year-old Carolyn, says that the visits from the Bernese Mountain Dog cheer her up.

“Maggie comes right up to the side of my bed and we have a good cuddle,” she says.

“What matters to animals is not what we think and feel but what we do,” says Professor John Webster.

“The visits bring back good memories of previous pets I’ve owned and they always turn my mood around.

If I’m having a bad day I can’t help but laugh and smile throughout the visit.” guhealth.com.au

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Benefits care givers too

Increased positive interactions between nursing home staff and residents is one of the key benefits of pet therapy, according to Dr Anne Fawcett.

RPA Graduate Registered Nurse, Steven Smith (pictured right) says that the dogs bring a calming effect.

“It gives the patients a boost and boosts the staff’s morale too.”

He’s seen significant improvements with elderly people from the constant contact over time with pets in aged care, but the therapy benefits all ages.

5

Physical stimulation

According to the Delta Society interaction with a fury friend can reduce blood pressure, provide tactile stimulation, assist with pain management, give motivation to move, walk and stimulates the senses.

Sue says that the aged care residents get a lot from touching Maggie.

“They miss touch, things you and I take for granted – the touch from other human beings; when they touch her they melt.”

Generally the visits help overcome some of the negative clinical aspects of living in care.2

Our fury friends can give people the health benefits that pills, operations and treatments cannot, social connection, affection and unconditional love from the human-animal bond. 

Ways to experience an animal bond connection if you don’t own a pet: • Volunteer at animal charities such as Pets in the Park, which cares for pets owned by homeless people: petsinthepark.org.au • Attend animal charity events such as the Animal Welfare League’s Strut with Mutts: facebook.com/AWLNSW • Foster a pet temporarily: cathaven.com.au/support/foster/ or rspca.org.au • Organise a pet therapy visit at your workplace: deltasociety.com.au • Help out friends, family and neighbours with their animals.

References: 1. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, Matthew T Cassels, Naomi White, Nancy Gee, Claire Hughes, One of the family? Measuring young adolescents' relationships with pets and siblings, Volume 49, March–April 2017, Pages 12–20, http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0193397317300084 2. Dementia Behaviour Management Advisory Service (DBMAS) Vic, 2012, Animal Assisted Therapy (Pet Therapy) in Dementia Care. Viewed 11 April 2017: < http://dbmas.org.au/uploads/resources/Animal_Assisted_Therapy_in_Dementia_Care.pdf. > 22

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FEATURE

Keeping it together during separation As the traditional family is disappearing here are some ways you can support and guide children through separation and strengthen family bonds.

Words Clinical Psychologist, Danielle Hoyle.

The traditional nuclear family is less common, with divorce rates in Australia approaching one in every two families.

Separation and divorce can be one of the most stressful and challenging periods for families. And with approximately half of divorces in Australia involving children¹, it’s common for kids to be grappling with this life adjustment.

Changes in behaviour and emotions are common for children in the immediate period following a separation. Most children talk about feeling intense sadness, anger and worry when their parents go their separate ways, though how this manifests will often depend on their age. Younger children may show increased ‘fussiness’ and unsettled behaviour, and are likely to struggle with

care schedules that involve frequent carer changes.

School aged children often show more challenging behaviour. They may worry that the divorce was their fault or that their parents don’t love them, may want their parents to get back together and can struggle to negotiate maintaining loyalty to both parents, particularly where there is lots of conflict.

Parents of adolescents may notice them withdrawing from the family unit to instead link in with their peers, and may find their child’s behaviour increasingly difficult to manage.

A big worry for parents upon separation is how the process will impact on their children long term. Even though children of divorced parents are at a

higher risk for emotional and behavioural problems, the good news is that the majority of children who experience their parents separating go on to adjust well.

So how can we help children pass with flying colours?

Reduce conflict and co-operate as parents Children who are exposed to intense conflict between their parents, both before and after separation, consistently struggle more with adjusting to divorce.

Conflict might mean hearing or seeing arguments, but can also include being asked to act as a ‘go-between’ for parents around heated issues, being asked to inform on one parent’s activities to the other, being included in discussions around the ‘dirty laundry’ guhealth.com.au

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Where you can find support for your child:

that has led to the separation and being encouraged to take sides.

To help give children the best chance to cope well with the separation, aim to develop a co-parenting relationship that is both calm and co-operative.

This can be challenging, particularly if one partner is not on the same page!

But, wherever possible, try to manage differences of opinion through negotiation and compromise rather than war – you’re modelling these critical life skills for your child as well.

Where arguments continue, prevent children from getting in the middle of the conflict and have heated discussions ‘off stage’ away from your child. Keeping conversations about the other parent positive (or at least neutral) can also help to reduce the child’s guilt and sense of conflict regarding maintaining a relationship with both parents.

You can’t fill your child’s emotional cup if your own teapot is empty!

Parenting style for stronger relationships Research shows that authoritative parenting – where a parent combines warmth, communication and emotional ‘tuning-in’ with consistent, predictable, limit-setting and boundaries, is another big protective factor for kids adjusting well to separation.

This parenting style generally helps develop a strong parent-child 24

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relationship, which allows children space to make sense of their feelings and find a new normal. If you are concerned that your ex-partner might not quite be hitting the mark, don’t despair! Research suggests that children having a strong relationship with even one parent can help to protect them from longer-term emotional and behavioural difficulties.

During the separation period and beyond, children will benefit from more time spent with them. Even just playing a game or kicking a footy can be invaluable in maintaining and strengthening family bonds. Kids thrive on predictability, so in the midst of the chaos, they will also benefit from being supported to resume their regular routines and responsibilities – yes, homework too.

Though most children adjust well, flags that can indicate it’s time to seek extra support include: • your child is struggling more rather than less over time • symptoms of depression, anxiety or other mental health difficulties • if you and your ex are still finding it difficult to co-parent without lots of rows • if your child tells you they want to talk with someone else rather than you or the co-parent.

Children’s biggest need during separation remains the same as it has always been – to have parents who love them, help them sort through their feelings and guide them through the world. Parenting is never easy – even less so during divorce – so if you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek your own support. You can’t fill your child’s emotional cup if your own teapot is empty!

• School counsellor or pastoral care worker: your child may already know and trust them, which can help them feel comfortable talking about their feelings.

• Relationships Australia: and similar community-based services offer a range of supports for families going through tough times, including specifically for children after separation: see relationships.org.au.

• Child and adolescent mental health services: such as Headspace can assist where mental health difficulties such as depression or anxiety are becoming the primary issue: headspace.org.au. Your GP may also be able to help with Medicare rebatable private mental health sessions, or recommend a publicly funded service.

• Kids Helpline: offers free counselling for young people aged five to 25. They can access a counsellor via phone, email or web chat: kidshelpline.com.au or 1800 551 800.

Danielle Hoyle is a Clinical Psychologist with a background in working with children and families and is the Practice Manager for Clinical Psychology at Relationships Australia, South Australia.

Find a psychologist near you: You can visit our website guhealth.com.au and use the ‘Find a provider’ search tool.

How did your father still play a significant role in your life despite not living with you?

He always wrote letters that I'd reply to, always kept in touch on the phone and, although it was a big distance from Grafton to Sydney, he would drive up without complaint to see me for a few days if he had time off work. He is an amazing dad.

What’s your advice to single parents to keep a strong connection with their children?

Troy’s separated parents made their family life sing One of Australia’s most famous country musicians – Troy Cassar-Daley speaks to Inform about how his parents, a Maltese-Australian father and an Aboriginal mother made their family work, despite being separated and living far apart. The theme of family provides much inspiration for his music.

My main role on this earth is to be a husband and father and I am extremely fortunate to fill in the gaps with music.

What was it like growing up with parents who were separated?

It was hard because they came from very different cultures one Aboriginal and one Maltese, so I felt I was living a dual life. One week I'd dive for turtles in a river on the north coast of NSW and the next I'd be roller skating at Bankstown with my Maltese cousins in the big city! Looking back, I was lucky that love was in big supply on both sides.

How did your parents make it work?

They made sure they both had a hand in my upbringing and dad had full access to me for all the important things in life, and the time spent with both was always precious.

Troy Cassar-Daley with his family, his wife Laurel Edwards and children Clay and Jemma.

Never bag your ex-partner in front of your children – that just makes it worse.

Keep all communication lines open at all times. Always keep a promise – it can crush a kid when you say you are going to do something and you don’t.

How do you balance your family time and busy schedule?

Not very well at times, but we all try.

Work can get crazy in my industry because it's sporadic but we just put family first as much as we can and the rest works itself out.

How do you keep connected with family when on tour?

Lots of phone calls and texts, Skype when in the USA and sending messages to them at any given time is important to me, just to make them laugh!

My main role on this earth is to be a husband and father and I am extremely fortunate to fill in the gaps with music.

Troy recently released the Things I Carry Around album.

He’s on tour until Saturday 29 July 2017. See his website for details: troycassardaley.com.au

Reference: 1. S. Burke, J.McIntosh and H.Gridley, July 2009, Parenting after Separation A Literature Review prepared for The Australian Psychological Society. guhealth.com.au

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FAVOURITE

Get connected Apps, books, videos and podcasts to help you connect with your family, your world and yourself.

Listen

Watch

Saints of Somewhere

7 Lessons I Learnt From Photography

The podcast asks people who shape our culture from athletes to activists, film makers and musicians about their heroes such as Irvine Welsh, writer of Trainspotting and the film director behind Generation Kill, Susanna White.

Photographer Jimmy Nelson shares the lessons heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s learnt from photographing indigenous people around the world from villagers in Southern Ethiopia to tribes in Papua New Guinea.

Cost: FREE

Cost: FREE

saintsofsomewhere.com

youtu.be/-GKU4GoB7Zk

Create

Mindfulness for Mums and Dads: Proven Strategies for Calming Down and Connecting by Diana Korevaar.

Touchnote This app streamlines weekly meal planning. You can browse recipes and store your favourites, create a meal plan, generate grocery lists and keep track of whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s already in your pantry.

Use the app on your: iPhone and iPad.

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Read

Dr Diana Korevaar, a perinatal psychiatrist, uses mindfulness practice to help parents calm down, connect and reframe the challenges they face in order to experience life more positively.

Cost: $4.00

Cost: RRP $29.99

mealboard.com

murdochbooks.com.au

guhealth.com.au

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INFORM | ISSUE 28

MINDFULNESS COLOURING PAGE Colouring books for grown-ups, are more popular than ever, with some topping bestselling book lists.1 Colouring can act as a form of meditation which helps clear the mind and calm the thoughts.

According to clinical psychologist Ben

Michaelis, colouring is a stress-free activity that relaxes the amygdala, which is the fear centre of the brain and allows your mind to get the rest it needs.2 The three key elements of repetition, pattern and detail create positive

neurological responses in participants, says Neuroscientist Dr Stan Rodski.

'When you have things that you can predict will happen in a certain way, it's calming,' says, neuroscientist Dr Stan Rodski.3

References: 1. CNN. “Adult coloring books topping bestseller lists.” Melonyce McAfee. http://edition.cnn.com/2015/04/21/living/feat-adult-coloring-books/ 2. Bustle. “7 Reasons Adult Coloring Books Will Make Your Life a Whole Lot Brighter.” Kristian Wilson. http://www.bustle.com/articles/101264-7-reasons-adultcoloring-books-will-make-your-life-a-whole-lot-brighter 3. ABC Radio National. “The science behind adult colouring books.” Jeremy Story Carter. http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/booksandarts/why-areaustralian-adults-drawn-to-colouring-in-books/6750808 guhealth.com.au

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