Gym Class (Issue 01)

GYM 01 CLASS

FREDDY KRUGER BY HANNAH SIMPSON

A ZINE FOR THE GUY CHOSEN LAST

£3

Editorial gymclassmagazine.com

Wow – you’re actually reading this. Who’d have thought? Thanks! I’m over the moon. This first issue has been a long time coming. But, it’s out now…

A massive thank you to all the contributors. I’m a big fan of you all. I’m so happy you agreed to participate.

Special thanks to Ingmar (page 08) and Susan (page 04) who both supplied their contributions months ago. Like I said, this issue has been in the pipeline for quite a while.

To commemorate issue 01, there are four different covers. Each features one of Hannah’s (page 18) very cool knitted minions. Stop by the Gym Class website to view them in full colour. Better yet, check

out Hannah’s online Etsy store and buy one. Dan (page 14) bought me Hannah’s Michael Myers knitted minion for my birthday earlier this year… thanks hubby!

I love my little Mr Myers.

In fact, support all the contributors.

Read their blogs, stop by their online stores and buy their work. Come to think of it, Stacie’s (page 26) Baghead Jason painting would make a perfect birthday gift next year… don’t mind me, just thinking aloud. All contributor contact details can be found on page 31.

Again, thanks for picking up a copy of Gym Class issue 01. Issue 02 will be out 1 March 2009. Until then…

Cheers!

COVER A

COVER C

02 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

COVER B

COVER D

In this issue Winter 2008

Editorial

02

Letters to New York

By Susan Beh

04

Soundtracks and scream kweens: The world of Ingmar Apinis

08

Eating out

By Dan Bryant

14

Knitted minions Hannah J Simpson

18

Six classic moments in horror

By Steven Gregor

22

Final Girl Stacie Ponder

26

The matrix

30

Contributors

31

Editor and designer: Steven Gregor steven@gymclassmagazine.com Special thanks to all the contributors‌ you rock! gymclassmagazine.com twitter.com/gymclass GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 03

Letters to New York

By Susan Beh

04 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

February 14, 2008 Dear New York, I thought I should take the time to write to you before we meet. I figure if I’m going to marry someone, I should at least introduce myself. It’s weird to think that in less than 24 hours I will be on my way to being your bride. That I am about to marry someone that someone else has chosen for me scares me and liberates me at the same time. That some higher power has destined for us to be together. Maybe that’s a better option than choosing a soul mate ourselves? Us both putting our faith in a power higher than the both of us combined. Choosing love above choosing each other. In any case, if it all turns pear shaped, we can just get divorced right? I hear you’ve been known to destroy the odd marriage.

Yes New York, I’ve heard all about you, trust me. I’ve known quite a few people who have fallen in love with you and I gotta tell ya, not all of their stories were in your favour. I’ve heard tales of your unfaithfulness and philandering. Of the time with that couple that you seduced and then swallowed whole, never to be seen again. Of you being elitist, at times chauvinistic. Not to mention your renowned wandering eye, but still I’m willing to give this a go because I think we have a lot to offer each other, aside from us both being total hotties. I know you’ve Facebooked me and seen my photo! And at this stage, I feel like I’m ready to commit.

I do, however, have a few requests before my arrival. I ask that although some player haters would say I’ve been around (don’t believe all you hear about my affair with Barcelona; it was just physical, believe me), I am still new to this. This level of commitment is something completely new to me, and so I need you to be a friend as well as a lover. I’ve never gone this far with someone before and to put it plainly, I’m terrified. You expect so much from your wives, and what if I don’t have enough to give? What if a hot ass and a potty mouth isn’t enough for you?

I guess we’ll soon see...

ABOVE: SUSAN’S FIRST LETTER GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 05

August 18, 2008 My Dearest New York, Today is our six-month anniversary. Can you believe it? I feel like time has flown, yet I also have trouble remembering a life without you. I’m completely in love with you. I feel so lucky we are together. I feel like we have really connected and are cut from the same cloth. You inspire me and constantly challenge me in a way that no one has done for a long time. You’ve breathed life into me when I thought it was impossible. You’re so supportive of my aspirations and tell me on a daily basis that I should do whatever makes me happy. You embrace my radical and sometimes ridiculous ideas (printed linoleum jackets anyone?), and most importantly, you encourage me to challenge myself. You are constantly making me uncomfortable in my own skin, to make me look at things at an angle I had never considered. Maybe ‘uncomfortable in my own skin’ is the wrong phrase. More like you force me to explore every square inch of my subconscious to see other possible outcomes to the one question. Existentialism is so hot right now.

I’ve fallen completely in love with you in these last six months and I know you feel the same, yet I know you have a wandering eye. You lavish so much attention on me yet I know you’ve cheated on me already. I’ve seen the way you look at other women when we’re out. I remember that time we saw that girl who won America’s Next Top Model, and how you adoringly looked at her statuesque body. You had this carnivorous look on your face like you were going to devour her right then and there. How can you love so many different women at once? And more importantly, why am I putting up with it? Maybe we’re both using each other to grow and then once we are done it will be time to go our separate ways?

-/1

ABOVE: SUSAN’S SECOND LETTER, PAGE ONE 06 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

I’d be foolish to think we were going to last forever, and lets face it there is only so much cheating I can take before I go all ‘crazy wifey revenge’ on your ass (although I think we both know I’m more ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ than slasher revenge, so its fair to say you can still trust me around the kitchen knives).

So, if we both know our time together is limited, why not just let ourselves go and enjoy what we have, while we still have it? This affair is proving to be one of the most memorable of my lifetime and I don’t want to leave with regrets.

Are you in?

-/2

ABOVE: SUSAN’S SECOND LETTER, PAGE TWO GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 07

Soundtracks and scream kweens: The world of Ingmar Apinis

Talking to Australian artist Ingmar Apinis highlights a love/hate relationship with the contemporary art world. He says that music and film – particularly the horror genre – are a more engaging source of inspiration.

“Marcel Duchamp started this scene where anything could be ‘art’ and I think that idea has been done to death.

Nowadays, I feel like there’s nothing more subversive than painting pretty pictures, or carving sensuous objects a la Ricky Swallow.

“I kind of feel the same about queer culture in some ways. Everything that used to be rebellious and meaningful in the community seems to be serving stereotypes rather than breaking them.”

That sentiment is subtly entwined into Ingmar’s recent watercolours of a world where the queerest thing you can do is beat twinks to death with mirror balls and join Michael Alig in a disco 08 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

LIFE IS FILLED WITH MISTAKES AND FOR ME IMPERFECTION CAN BE INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL bloodbath. Or amputate your limp wrists and replace the bloody stumps with Jack-o-lanterns.

“I don’t want my pictures to be perfect,” he continues. “Life is filled with mistakes and for me imperfection can be incredibly beautiful.

“I play with the darker side of ‘camp’. Mine is a world where Donnie Darko danced with Frank in the pale moonlight; where Rauschenberg and Johns lived happily ever after; where Leatherface is a woman trapped in a man’s body; and Satan is boring.”

ABOVE: IRAK (2008) GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 09

ABOVE: GHOST BITCH (2008) 10 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

ABOVE: (STUDY FOR) CASSIUS (2008) GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 11

ABOVE: PARTY MONSTER (2008) 12 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

ABOVE: FLY AWAY HOME, PUMPKINHEAD (2008) GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 13

Eating out Dan Bryant looks back on a lifetime of restaurant meals

Browns, 1980 At the end of every school holiday, my parents took me and my sisters for a meal at Browns. It was a commiseration of sorts at the withdrawal of our freedom, an early acknowledgement that work is no fun and requires some form of recompense. Browns is a restaurant chain based in the quainter British cities. In those days it seemed impossibly glamorous with its heady mix of ceiling fans, foliage and perfectly chiselled waiters. If you were lucky, there’d even be a guy tinkling away at the piano, like something out of an old movie on TV. It spoke of a world a million miles away from our uneventful town, a world I hoped one day to visit.

Somewhere in Italy, 1981 On a family holiday in Italy, we drove to an old town and wandered around the steep stone streets. When our legs 14 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

could take it no more, we retreated to the local restaurant. In beautiful surroundings, we ate a meal so good I can still remember every detail. It started with gnocchi smothered in a powerful gorgonzola sauce. Then came the first rabbit I’d ever eaten; lots of bones, but delicious. And the final treat was zabaglione, a heady alcoholic liquid dessert. Overcome by the gastronomic experience, and a little tipsy after downing this dangerous confection, I gave my father a sloppy thank you kiss on the cheek. The severe frown that followed this breach of etiquette left an equally lasting impression as the food.

Balans, 1993 I had my first proper job. It was quite a macho environment, but there was an older guy in the next office who managed to be an out gay man with perfect dignity.

His example made it much easier for me

to take the first tentative steps to coming out, and when I did he whisked me off to Soho. Before we hit the bars, we met up with some friends of his for a meal in gay restaurant Balans. I was too intimidated to say much, but I listened with wonder to the eloquent conversations going on around me and watched diners at other tables flirting with impossibly handsome waiters. After the meal, we drank cappuccinos, which seemed amazingly exotic to me. It was perfect. The child in Browns would have approved.

Miraculously, there was a free table.

We sat, we ordered, we ate, we chatted.

Nothing happened. He started looking sad again. Was this it? Was I destined for a life of singledom? Tapping into some unknown reservoir of courage, my hand moved the long miles across the table and took his. He smiled. “I thought you didn’t like me,” he murmured. We kissed.

And then we floated out of there, leaving the lone diner at the next table beaming softly at our clumsy flirtation.

Balans, 1994 One evening, at the bar we went to after work, I spotted a new barman with a slightly sad face. I was hooked. The next week, I overcame my fears and spoke to him. The mournful expression vanished and we arranged to go for something to eat when he finished his shift – and where else but back to Balans?

Mildreds, 1996 I was thinking about an ex-girlfriend from my university days – her checked shirts, her James Dean hair, the way she never wanted to have sex with me, the Joan Armatrading album she gave me when she dumped me – and suddenly all the pieces of the jigsaw fell into place.

She was a lesbian. Intrigued, I got >>> GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 15

<<< back in touch and we arranged to meet at Mildred’s, a veggie restaurant that was one of the few places in Soho frequented by both gay men and lesbians. We swapped stories of our same-sex relationships and got on just as easily as we always had, though now with perhaps a little more understanding of why. It was a cold, wet Saturday afternoon, but the warmth of the conversation and the red wine spread out into the room. And the presence of Boy George on his own at the next table seemed to add a semi-divine seal of approval to our reunion.

Brighton, 1997 I had moved on to another boyfriend.

One weekend we made the classic pilgrimage to Brighton for a day by the seaside. After wandering around the shops and playing with pebbles on the beach, we went for dinner. We walked into the first place we liked the look of, an intimate restaurant with simple candlelit tables. Like many restaurants in Brighton, it was run by a middle-aged gay couple, and most of the customers were gay couples too. A lesbian in cowboy boots sat on a high stool crooning country & western songs while strumming on a guitar. Halfway through ‘Crazy’, one of the owners sat down at the piano and started a rippling accompaniment. Our relationship was already faltering, but this was a perfect moment – and the campest one of my life.

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ABOVE: LITTLE CHEF

THIS WAS A PERFECT MOMENT – AND THE CAMPEST ONE OF MY LIFE

Little Chef, 2006 We were on our way back from a camping weekend in Dorset, unwashed, tired, and slightly worse for wear. So roadside restaurant Little Chef seemed like the perfect stop. This particular branch seemed to have a more intimate family feel than most, with a pinboard full of hand-scrawled letters from ecstatic customers. The clientele were mostly over 50, enjoying a leisurely Sunday lunch. My partner ordered the Double Olympic Burger, at which point the middle-aged waitress raised an eyebrow. When she returned bearing the elaborate meat construction, conversations stopped, heads turned and a low murmur of excitement filled the room. As the plate reached our table, respectful looks and encouraging smiles were heaped upon us. I couldn’t have been happier. You could keep your Michelin-starred eateries, here I was with the man of the hour, the man I was about to marry.

GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 17

Knitted minions Gym Class talks with Hannah J Simpson, creator of the knitted minion

How long do you spend on each knitted minion?

The figures can take anything from 8 to 14 hours to complete, depending on the level of detail and accessories, though I’ve never actually sat down and made one from start to finish. I always start by making sketches and noting their defining features, trying to capture the ‘essence’ of the character.

There’s a lot of trial and error involved in making them and it’s not uncommon for me to knit the same thing four or five times before I find a shape that I’m happy with. But the process has become quicker over time due to my rigorous note taking.

Do you have an all-time favourite knitted minion?

It was tough to see Hellboy go, but I think my personal favourite is the only 18 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

figure I’ve ever kept, the one-armed Mexican Motorcycle Raider. There’s something about his facial expression (and that moustache!), I just can’t bring myself to part with him. Sometimes I regret selling Kraftwerk. They looked so great on my mantelpiece.

Have you sold many?

I’ve sold close to 40 figures since I started making them a couple of years ago. I never sell them straight away, I rather prefer to have them hanging around my house for a bit. It’s hard to see them go sometimes.

What’s your favourite horror movie and why?

My absolute favourite film of all time is the 1978 version of Dawn of the Dead. It blew my mind when I first saw it. The idea that the drudgery >>>

PHOTO: HANNAH SIMPSON

ABOVE: MEXICAN MOTORCYCLE RAIDER GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 19

MAKING FREEMAN LOWELL AND THE THREE SERVICE DRONES HAS BEEN ON TOP OF MY LIST FOR SO LONG

<<< and mundanity of modern life could give way to an existence where every second is an almost primordial struggle for survival, but with helicopters and guns and Jack Daniels… something about the destruction of our convenient social order really appealed to me. I wanted to live in that world.

Is there anybody you haven’t knitted but would like to?

One of my favourite films is Douglas Trumbull’s Silent Running. Making Freeman Lowell and the three service drones has been on top of my list for so long, but I never seem to get round to it.

I also have a half-finished The Man with No Name (Clint Eastwood) that will no doubt see the light of day very soon. My list is very long. Infinite, maybe.

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ABOVE: MICHAEL MYERS

PHOTO: HANNAH SIMPSON GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 21

Six classic moments in horror

By Steven Gregor

I’m a horror movie nerd. An anorak, if you will. The first horror movie I ever watched was Friday the 13th… I was just a kid. And I was hooked. I’ve loved and respected the genre ever since.

So what are my favourite horror movie moments? Don’t make me choose, I love all my children equally. Okay, now that’s just weird. Here are six classic moments that I rate. You cool with that?

Okay, let’s roll.

Halloween (1978) There are so many iconic moments in John Carpenter’s Halloween. But my favourite has to be in the final act when Laurie finds the bodies of her friends in the Wallace house. Michael chases her across the street to the Doyle house. But the front door’s locked and she can’t find her keys.

“The keys... the keys,” she cries, banging on the front door for little 22 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

Tommy to wake up, unlock the door and let her in. Meanwhile a kitchen-knife wielding Michael Myers is crossing the street, getting closer. Tense man, tense.

Classic, even. Guess that’s why it’s on this list.

The Amityville Horror (1979) Oh no, the poor Lutz family. They move into their dream home, only to discover it’s haunted and be chased out by evil spirits just 28 days after moving in.

Bummer. But it does make for some pretty fine cinema.

The walls start to bleed and the family flee the house on a dark, stormy night. They’re speeding away in their old van... but where’s the beloved family pooch? He’s been left behind in the house’s basement. So a bear-like James Brolin rushes back into the house and down into the basement. But the timber stairs are brittle, they break and he falls

down into a deep pool of blood. Fucking frightening, it’s my favourite The Amityville Horror moment.

The movie was based on ‘actual’ events. But word has it the real Lutz family couldn’t afford the mortgage and invented the story as a way to make money. Talk about credit crunch!

Maybe over the coming months we can expect unexplained supernatural activity on Wall Street in NYC and in ye olde London’s Square Mile. Cool, hope so.

Friday the 13th (1980) The first horror movie I remember watching. I must have been just seven or eight years old... gotta love being babysat by an irresponsible older brother.

Like Halloween, there are many memorable moments. But my favourite is when Bill goes to check the generator after the lights go out in the camp. As he’s hunched over the rusty old generator,

THE BEST STEPHEN KING ADAPTATION EVER… PERIOD the camera moves in behind him POV style. Is it the killer? Is it just a camera technique ripped off from Halloween?

All of the above, as it turns out.

Damn fine rip-off too. Can’t wait for the remake early next year.

A couple of other highlights worthy of mention: Kevin Bacon’s ass (give me a break, I was just a kid) and Harry Crosby’s chest.

The Shining (1980) Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining is the best Stephen King adaptation ever… period.

A possessed and crazed Jack Nicholson running around an empty >>> GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 23

<<< mountain lodge is horror movie gold. And that little kid walking around chanting “redrum, redrum” fuelled years of childhood torment.

But, you know what, neither Jack nor that freaky kid are in my favourite scene. Shelly Duvall and an elevator full of blood steal the show. Freaky. Seriously.

My Bloody Valentine (1981) My Bloody Valentine is one of horror’s most underrated slasher flicks. I can’t understand how it didn’t become a franchise, or at least spawn a couple of sequels. But it’s being remade, and in 3D no less... finally, justice. I just hope they keep – and improve upon – the miner shower scene. Sud up gentlemen, sud up.

Poor, hapless kids... all they wanted was to have a Valentine’s party. Who can blame ‘em? Not me, I love to party.

My favourite My Bloody Valentine moment would have to be when Sylvia’s boyfriend buggers off to get more beer...

24 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

leaving her alone in the spookiest looking changing room ever. What’s with the dozens of miners’ outfits hanging from the ceiling? Don’t ask me, but when they start falling all around poor Sylvia we’ve got a damn fine horror movie moment on our hands.

On a side note... a friend of mine went to school with Cynthia Dale, the actress who played Patty; my friend didn’t like her.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) I first saw A Nightmare on Elm Street on television. Home alone one night, and still quite young, I tuned in. I got as far as when Nancy falls asleep in class and, while asleep, sees her dead friend Tina standing in a body bag in the classroom doorway. Scared shitless, I slipped a videotape into the VCR, hit record and went to bed... I thought it would be better to finish the viewing during daylight hours.

WHO CAN BLAME ‘EM? NOT ME, I LOVE TO PARTY And to think, I still hadn’t reached what I believe to be the film’s most memorable moment. Now, you probably think I’m going to say it’s when a young Johnny Depp is pulled deep into this bed before a fountain of blood floods the room... but I’m not.

Rather, my favourite A Nightmare on Elm Street moment is when Nancy, asleep and having a nightmare, returns home after seeing Freddy in Rod’s prison cell. She’s running up the stairs to her room when the stairs become all gooey and her feet sink into the carpet. Freaky.

All this while we hear Tina’s voice wailing for Nancy to help her, to save her from Freddy. It’s classic Craven, and a worthy addition to this list of memorable horror movie moments.

GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 25

Final Girl Gym Class talks with Stacie Ponder, horror movie blogger and rather cool painter

What was the first horror movie you remember watching?

Man, I’m wracking my brain for this and I’m coming up blank. The earliest movie memory I have – period – is Disney’s Snow White, that much I know for sure.

I’m going to assume my earliest horror movie was something from Hammer Studios, because every weekend my family would watch “Creature Double Feature” which usually showcased Hammer flicks and Godzilla movies.

Thanks to my mom and that program, I was really into Christopher Lee’s Dracula performances when I was a kid. Dracula Has Risen From the Grave was about the scariest movie title I’d ever heard.

What’s your favourite horror movie?

Well, this pretty much changes depending on my mood or the day of the week, but overall I’d have to go with the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre. It’s so perfect – still absolutely terrifying, 26 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

and it’s a testament to how much I love it that I’ll only watch it maybe once a year so it doesn’t lose any of its flavor.

What do you think of horror movie remakes?

Ah, remakes. They’re just not going away, are they? Sometimes I really don’t see the point of them, why good movies are being remade while movies that were ultimately unsuccessful aren’t. Why not remake something that can absolutely be improved upon?

I try, though, to treat each film as its own entity. I’ve certainly enjoyed some of them – the Dawn of the Dead remake, for example, was a movie I ended up loving, much to my surprise. Then there are some, like April Fool’s Day, that make me want to kill myself. But I try – or at least, I try to try – to keep an open mind… I mean, I want movies to be good, you know? I don’t go into these things hoping for a piece of crap. Well,

ABOVE: BAGHEAD JASON

okay, I was kinda psyched that the Black Christmas remake blew, because I was hoping to title my review The Worst Noel.

What bums me out the most is that there are more and more remakes on the scene and fewer and fewer original horror movies in the theatre. And when

the remakes differ so much from the original anyway, why not change it a bit more and create a new property altogether? April Fool’s Day wasn’t any better with that title than it would have been if it had been called Big Stupid Crapfest. >>> GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 27

<<< Have you liked any remakes more than the original?

They’re so vastly different because they’re both the products of their respective eras, but I like John Carpenter’s The Thing far more the original. That’s almost comparing apples and oranges, though, so… I’ll say The Hills Have Eyes.

Are there any horror movies you wish would be remade?

As I said, I think there are some movies that could have been really good, but ended up… not so really good, and they could use a tighter script, a more expansive script, or maybe just better effects and/or actors. The makers of the newest Prom Night really dropped the ball by going in a completely different direction than the original. The 1980 film is alright, but nothing spectacular to me – but there’s some interesting drama under the surface that could be explored in a proper remake.

There are a few films I enjoy, but I think they could use a fresh coat of paint – stuff like Madhouse and Humongous.

28 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

I do so love evil twin movies and deformed killer movies, and those were both almost really, really good.

What upcoming horror movie are you most looking forward to?

I’m really looking forward to Final Destination 4 – I’m almost ashamed of how much I like that film series – and after having seen the trailer for the My Bloody Valentine remake, I’ve gotta say, I’m cautiously optimistic… which is surprising, considering how much I love the original. Even the Friday the 13th remake looks okay – geez, what’s wrong with me? And I don’t know if it counts since it’s entirely CGI, but I can’t wait for Resident Evil: Degeneration.

What do you think of 3D horror movies?

I love, love, LOVE them, which accounts for some of my excitement over Final Destination 4 and My Bloody Valentine.

There’s really nothing like sitting in the theatre like an idiot with those glasses on… I turn into a five-year-old, I swear.

It’s best when it’s a horror movie in 3D

I’M ALMOST ASHAMED OF HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT FILM SERIES because you know there’s going to be some outrageous stuff onscreen. Look at Friday the 13th Part 3… an eyeball flies out of some poor guy’s head and flies right at the audience. It doesn’t get better than that!

Everyone here at Gym Class Magazine HQ loves your blog. You also write for AMC. How did that come about?

If there’s one thing I’ve discovered, it’s that with a little good old fashioned blackmail, you can make almost all your dreams come true!

Really though, how DID I start writing for them? I think they just asked me. One of their writers was kind enough to randomly interview me, and then a couple of weeks after that AMC got in touch and asked if I wanted to write three or four guest columns. I

jumped at the chance, obviously, and I guess it went well enough since when my four weeks were up they asked me to stay on. I’m having a blast writing for them and they’ve been really good to me, though I’m paranoid about getting “let go”. I’m also paranoid about my friend’s dog, which stares at me intensely whenever I visit, though, so it’s possible that I’m just mentally unbalanced.

You’re also quite the artist. Baghead Jason is brilliant. Can people buy your art?

Thanks very much! I’d love it if people would buy my art! I’ve got galleries up on my MySpace and Facebook pages so people can see what I’ve done so far.

[Links to these galleries can be found on Stacie’s blog, Final Girl – details on page 31.] I’m always open for commissions, whether they’re horror related or not, so folks can feel free to drop me a line anytime to get the ball rolling. I’m about to embark on a massive Stormtrooper painting for someone, and I’m super psyched… I mean, Stormtroopers!

Holy crap, I’m a nerd.

GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 29

The matrix Our deliberate rip-off of New York magazine’s The Approval Matrix.

You get the gist.

HIGHBROW

AMERICAN APPAREL NAMED ‘LABEL OF THE YEAR’ GAP’S NEW CREATIVE DIRECTOR PLANS TO MAKE THE BRAND “SUPER COOL”

THE CREDIT CRUNCH …BORING!

CHRISTMAS WRAPPING PAPER DESIGNED BY KYLIE MINOGUE

THE NEW BLACKBERRY STORM… OH SO HO HUM MICROSOFT’S TERRIBLE “I’M A PC” ADVERTS

BRITS AMONG THE WORLD’S MOST SEXUALLY PROMISCUOUS

WAL-MART “BARGAIN STAMPEDE” IN NEW YORK

THE NEW BRITNEY SPEARS ALBUM… “TANTALISING NUGGETS OF SELF AWARENESS” LOWBROW

30 – GYM CLASS MAGAZINE

BRILLIANT

DESPICABLE

NEW MANAGEMENT’S “UPMARKET MAKEOVER” PLANS FOR HOTEL CHELSEA IN NEW YORK

MAPPED ITEMS ARE BASED ON ARTICLES AND ADVERTS IN THE OBSERVER NEWSPAPER, 30 NOVEMBER 2008

“INDIA’S 9/11”

Contributors The people without whom this issue of Gym Class would not have been possible. >

Susan Beh susanbeh101@gmail.com abroadcalledsusan.blogspot.com abroochcalledalice.etsy.com

What’s your favourite TV show?

Californication – A chivalrous man whore with a good heart, trying to find his way back to his soulmate… with a shit load of nudity. Nuf said.

> Ingmar Apinis ingmar.apinis@gmail.com evolkween.blogspot.com

> Hannah J Simpson han.simpson@yahoo.co.uk cakeyvoice.etsy.com What’s your favourite TV show?

Lime Tree Pantry Pie Hour on QVC. The utter absurdity of people selling meat pies on the television, something about it just draws me in. >

Steven Gregor steven@gymclassmagazine.com gymclassmagazine.com twitter.com/gymclass

What’s your favourite TV show?

Dexter is my favourite TV show. Who doesn’t love a friendly serial killer? He can wrap me in plastic anytime…

What’s your favourite TV show?

I still love Darren Star’s Central Park West. Gil Chase – nice! Will it ever be released on DVD? A boy can dream.

> Dan Bryant danwordage@gmail.com wordage.wordpress.com

> Stacie Ponder stacieponder@gmail.com finalgirl.blogspot.com

What’s your favourite TV show?

Dr Who, of course. It terrified me as a child and thrills me as a grown-up.

What’s your favourite TV show?

I’m so into Battlestar Galactica that it might be a bit unhealthy. If I could marry my DVDs, I probably would.

GYM CLASS MAGAZINE – 31

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