Entropy Magazine - Issue 1607 by Gjoko Muratovski

ISSUE 1607 . Nov. 2008

November 2008

EDITOR: Alexander Bloom CREATIVE DIRECTOR: Gjoko Muratovski MARKETING MANAGER: Jasha Bowe GRAPHIC DESIGN CONSULTANT: Stuart Gluth ILLUSTRATION CONSULTANT: David Blaiklock PHOTOGRAPHY CONSULTANT: Wend Lear PHOTOGRAPHY CONTRIBUTORS: Wend Lear, Ivan Ivanovski, Tim Novak, Peter Klasson ILLUSTRATION AND GRAPHIC DESIGN CONTRIBUTORS: Michael Ziersch, Dan Withey, Lisa King, Yohannes Handoko TEXT CONTRIBUTORS: Yuan Somon, Niasha Blake, Sandra Adams, James Wangman, Terry Holbright, Aaron MacDonald, Michelle Kavanagh, Lauren Scarfe, Helen Ftanos, John Jamisson, Donna Stansfield, Jasha Bowe, Luis Gardezabal, Olivia Reiko, Thomas Carnwell, Greenpeace COVER: Yohannes Handoko PRINTED BY: Finsbury Green

ENTROPY MAGAZINE IS PRINTED BY A CARBON NEUTRAL PROCESS USING VEGTABLE BASED INKS ON SUSTAINABLE FOREST FIBRE. DISCLAIMER: ENTROPY MAGAZINE RECOGNIZES THAT THERE IS A WIDE AND DIVERSE RANGE OF VIEWPOINTS AND BELIEFS ON RELIGIOUS, POLITICAL, SOCIAL AND MORAL ISSUES. HOWEVER, WE FEEL THAT THE NOTION THAT ANYBODY NEEDS TIPTOE AROUND ALL THESE BELIEFS IN THE HOPE OF NOT OFFENDING ANYONE IS, IN SHORT, RIDICULOUS. THEREFORE, WE WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO WARN YOU THAT THE CONTENT OF THIS MAGAZINE MAY OFFEND. READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED. We always like to hear what you have to say., and there are several ways on how you can do that. One way is for you to find Entropy Magazine’s page on Facebook where you can share your thoughts and opinions, read the article previews and recieve updates on our parties and events. If you don’t use Facebook, but would like to contact us, than another way is to contact us via e-mail: entropy@unisa.edu.au, or SMS on 0427 842 479. For any marketing enquiries or any other technical details, just email Jasha.Bowe@unisa.edu.au and he will get back to you as soon as possible. You can also view or download Entropy Magazine in a PDF form from the UniLife website: www.UniLife.edu.au. (Powered by Black Knight)

Contents:

8 LETTER FROM THE CREATIVE by Gjoko Muratovski 10 IN THE MIND OF A PORN CAMERAMAN by Yuan Somon 16 EBONICS TRANSLATION by Niasha Blake 22 PARTY AT THE HILTON’S by Entropy Magazine 32 THE PERVERSITY OF CENSORSHIP by Sandra Adams 36 BARRACK OBAMA + JOE BIDEN by James Wangman 40 JOHN MCCAIN + SARAH PALIN by Aaron MacDonald 44 DRUGS AND POLITICS by Terry Holbright 46 FORESTS FOR CLIMATE by Greenpeace 48 THE BUSINESS OF RELIGION by Aaron MacDonald 52 SERIES OF TUBES by Lauren Scarfe 54 POSTCARD FROM CYPRUS by Hellen Ftanos 56 PAPERHORSE by John Jamisson 58 THE MUDDAFUCKA’ by Donna Stansfield 60 CiITIZEN MEDIA by Jasha Bowe 62 ON THE ROAD by Wend Lear 72 NOTIFICATION 3 by Luis Gardezabal 74 BUT WILL IT BLEND? by Olivia Reiko 76 UNINEWS by Michelle Kavanagh 78 EVERYBODY HATES DRUNK DRIVERS by Thomas Carnwell 80 SPORT NEWS by Virginia Mathie 81 UNILIFE CLUBS by UniLife

November 2008

Gjoko Muratovski

LETTER FROM THE Creative Contrary to the previous issues, this issue of Entropy Magazine starts with the letter from the Creative Director instead of the Editor. You may ask why is that so – but then again, you have probably noticed Entropy’s new look, again. By now you should have figured out that this is a magazine that never stop changing. IT TAKES A GREAT DEAL of vision for a university-based organization such as UniLife to hire a design and brand specialist from Europe as a Creative Director and ask him to re-invent their magazine. What is more, it takes courage to dismiss an old and familiar concept and start a new one with a brand new team of people. Luckily, UniLife’s had both, so here I am. My journey with Entropy started some four issues ago, and it’s been a rollercoaster since. What initialy started as a local student media in 1992, has become a mainstream youth culture magazine now. Entropy has become a design driven publication, whose philosophy is to discover and promote new talent within the fields of design, art, illustration, photography and creative writing. Always changing, always growing. Getting smarter and looking better issue after issue. And always keeping an eye at the fresh and new creative people out there. Today, Entropy finds pride in being the first to provide a chance for the young talent to express itself and to promote its work. We constantly strive to provide the highest quality content and we set high standards for all of our contributors in the same way as we set high standards for ourselves in producing and designing the magazine. And we will keep pushing the boundaries whenever we can. Another thing that you need to know about us is that we are not doing this for profit and we care for the environment. Our magazine is printed by a carbon neutral process, using vegetable based inks on sustainable forest fibre and is distributed free of charge on selected locations (and in an electronic form as well). We are also glad to say that Entropy has started to attract interest from interstate and overseas readers and contributors, and we will continue to build our relations Australia-wide as well as worldwide. Entropy might have started small in 1992, but now we are bigger and stronger and we will keep getting better. So dear readers, join us for yet another Entropy experience.

Here is a little bonus for you! Thanks to the kind folks at Roadshow Films we have 50 passes to the new Guy Ritchie film RocknRolla. The first 50 people telling us how much they love Entropy will score a double in the post. So kick us an email (entropy@unisa.edu.au) It`s simple. Do it.

INTERVIEW by YUAN SOMON

IN THE MIND OF A PORN CAMERAMAN Porn. Everybody watches it. Even if you say you don’t, we know you’re lying. We tracked down someone who watches it for a living and talked to him about his job: filming people doing the wild thing. He asked not to be named, but yes, you have seen his work.

November 2008

ENTROPY: Did you have to go to film school or did you just get hooked up by a director friend? PORN DUDE: Communications degree. Interned with a local news channel, then went to work for them for 2 years. I was hired for a couple of local shoots when a cameraman was MIA, and then I started getting more and more work. It interfered with my job at the station, so I quit for more money and more interesting work. ENTROPY: What was the moment you decided “I want to be a cameraman for pornos”? PORN DUDE: Well, it was more fun than my news job and paid better, so when it came time to make the call, I chose porn. ENTROPY: What do your friends and family think? PORN DUDE: Parents hate it, girlfriends usually love it. I mean, when girls ask “what do you do for a living”, they expect to hear “chartered accountant” or “floor manager” not “pornography cameraman”. And my friends… well, to them, it’s fucking awesome. ENTROPY: How much do you make, if you don’t mind us asking? PORN DUDE: Last year I made about US$49k, and in 2006 I made US$63k. I get paid by-the-job. This is a very feast-or-famine career. Sometimes I’m working 7 days a week, and sometimes I have no work for up to 2 weeks at a time. The negative part about that is I can’t schedule vacations ahead of time very reliably. ENTROPY: What about the porn actors/actresses? PORN DUDE: Female first timers usually pull in between US$250 and US$500 per scene. By scene, I mean something that ends up being up to 30 minutes after editing. First time males usually earn less than US$200. I’ve worked with Jenna haze, and she pulled in US$2500 when I filmed her. In straight porn, top tier males usually make less than half of their female counterparts. Gay porn pays less, but the stars earn a lot more than they would as stars in straight porn. Actors are always paid by the scene. ENTROPY: How do you find work as a porn cameraman? PORN DUDE: Most of the jobs in this biz are scored by connections. If you have an integral role in the film and you do your job poorly, you’re going to waste a lot of people’s time--especially if the film is so bad that the studio wants it redone. So if someone is recommending you, then they’re putting their word and reputation on the line. A reference is all-important. Almost all of the advertised positions are for actors/ actresses, but that’s purely for amateur gonzo shoots. Professional actors do much better in almost every aspect of the job. ENTROPY: Do all the people on set have a constant hard-on while the film is shooting? 12

PORN DUDE: No, actually. When someone is new to the job they tend to be easily distracted and aroused, but after about a week you kind of lose the ability to be turned on easily by visuals. Could be a plus or a minus, depending on how you look at it. Everyone is very professional. ENTROPY: Do you hold the camera yourself, or do you use a tripod so you can masturbate, you sick puppy? PORN DUDE: I use a tripod less than half of the time. The rest of the time I’m standing or crouching with the camera. It’s self-stabilizing and takes care of most of the shakiness. Jacking off on-set is a big no-no. ENTROPY: Are there fluffers off-camera to keep the male actors hard? PORN DUDE: I expect this could be true of some sets, but I’ve never seen it happen. ENTROPY: How much sex is there going on off-camera? PORN DUDE: There’s some extra sex off-scene, but not much. Porn actors have relationships with partners who understand that work is work, but infidelity outside of work would have the same consequences you’d see elsewhere. The most trim that is had is by casting directors and producers when auditioning new actresses... and sometimes actors. ENTROPY: What’s the farthest you’ve gone with a model? PORN DUDE: I’ve gotten a few blowjobs, had sex with one, and was offered sex with another...but I turned her down because she was truly skanky. You can always pay actors for anything you need, because at the end of the day they ARE whores. ENTROPY: Do you ever film gay porn? PORN DUDE: I’ve filmed almost as much gay porn as straight. I used to feel uncomfortable shooting gay porn, but not anymore. The oddest part was getting a hard-on during a blowjob scene once. I’m not gay, but that guy sucked dick REALLY well. Nowadays, nothing turns me on while onset, male or female. ENTROPY: Has the guy ever missed the chick’s face and hit you by accident? PORN DUDE: Yes. Thankfully, it was on my hand and washed off easily. ENTROPY: You ever masturbate to your own work?

November 2008

PORN DUDE: Of course I have. ENTROPY: Do the people involved in the porn films/ photos wear any makeup or is there anything special done to them so they look better? PORN DUDE: Yes. Actresses and (to a lesser degree) actors usually have people that do makeup, spritzing, etc for them. These people are paid by the studio. ENTROPY: What’s the weirdest shit you ever had to film? PORN DUDE: Five-some midget scat orgy. Filmed it once; never again. ENTROPY: Do the actors/actresses complain about the taste of oral? PORN DUDE: I’ve never heard a complaint about the taste, though actresses frequently complain about facials. Specifically, getting it in their hair. ENTROPY: Do actors/actress have to do any “special preparation” for anal scenes? PORN DUDE: Yes, women do flush out their assholes for anal scenes. This is something we double check. ENTROPY: How does your job affect your sex life? PORN DUDE: I’m more jaded about sex than I used to be. I last a little longer, though, and have more tricks to pull out the hat. ENTROPY: Is there a lot of drug use amongst the actresses/actors? PORN DUDE: Yes, drug use is very common. Pot is most common, followed by cocaine. Heroine, meth, etc make you look very unattractive, and are very rare in the actors I shoot. ENTROPY: What about organised crime? PORN DUDE: I’ve never seen any mobsters involved in our business. I have seen some who looked the part, but they were just boyfriends who came along to watch the actresses. ENTROPY: What’s the biggest penis you’ve ever seen? PORN DUDE: Biggest dick I’ve ever seen was about ten and a half inches (26.5 cm) long, and about as thick as two quarters and a nickel – I’m visualising with the change on my desk (7 cm). The actress involved did not enjoy it.

ENTROPY: What do porn actresses do after porn? There’s a niche market for older women porn, but what if they want to get out? PORN DUDE: The smart ones save their money so they have at least $500k in savings, and commonly land desk jobs as receptionist, etc. Easy stuff that requires you to be pretty. ENTROPY: What are the most common kinds of women you find doing this kind of work – their background, situation, mentality, that sort of thing? PORN DUDE: Most actresses come from a middle-class, religiously raised background. I would say that 30% at most were sexually abused. ENTROPY: What’s the worst part of your job? PORN DUDE: The shittiest aspect of my job is the randomness. I log at least 20,000 air miles every year, and I have to be ready to travel for up to 3 weeks within a few days’ notice. ENTROPY: How much say does the director have over the shoot? PORN DUDE: Depends on the director. Some directors don’t really earn their pay. They just sit their and watch, providing commentary that would come from a viewer. Others are very hands-on. Actors have to do what the directors say. ENTROPY: Give us some dirty secrets about the business. Something that you know people would never ask about because without being in the industry we would never think of such things. PORN DUDE: Dirty secrets… well, most pornstars are actually very self-conscious about their bodies. Odd sex noises, like queefs, are EXTREMELY common during shoots. And about half the time, bedsheets are not washed between uses.

November 2008

Article by Niasha Blake

Ebonics translation Have you ever wondered what the bloody hell are those hip hop dudes talking about in their lyrics? We did. So, here it is… “One More Chance (Remix)” - The Notorious B.I.G. translated by Niasha Blake.

November 2008

“First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin’ money Those the ones I like ‘cause they don’t get nathan’ But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation Garbage, I turn like doorknobs Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever However, I stay coochied down to the socks Rings and watch filled with rocks” TRANSLATION:: As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine models, and whores. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and expensive jewelery. “And my jam knock in the Mitsubishi Girls pee pee when they see me, Nava-hoes creep me in they tee pee As I lay down laws like I lay carpet Stop it - if you think your gonna make a profit” TRANSLATION:: I enjoy playing my music loudly on my car stereo. Apparently, women enjoy this also because they become sexually aroused when they see me driving. Oddly enough, when I visit the Native American reservations, some of the more sexually promiscuous Indian women attempt to seduce me in their homes. Their intent is to divest me of my earnings. Such actions are unacceptable.

“Don’t see my ones, don’t see my guns - get it Now tell ya friends Poppa hit it then split it In two as I flow with the Junior Mafia I don’t know what the hell’s stoppin’ ya I’m clockin’ ya - Versace shades watchin’ ya Once ya grin, I’m in game, begin” TRANSLATION: Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor my weapons. I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged in violent sexual acts. Currently, I am rapping with my associates, the Junior Mafia. I’m having some difficulty understanding why you refuse to approach me. I am attempting to make eye contact with you through my expensive glasses, and as soon as you respond with a smile, I will approach you. “First I talk about how I dress and this And diamond necklesses - stretch Lexuses The sex is just immaculate from the back I get Deeper and deeper - help ya reach the Climax that your man can’t make Call and tell him you’ll be home real late Let’s sing the break” TRANSLATION:: I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my wardrobe and jewellery, and then I like to discuss my collection of expensive cars. This is more than enough to convince you to have sexual intercourse with me. I am able to insert my penis further into you when I enter you from behind. Furthermore, you will be able to reach orgasm. I understand this to be a problem with your current sexual partner. He needn’t be concerned about your whereabouts. Please phone him and inform him that you won’t be home for a while. By the way, please sing the chorus of the song for me also.

November 2008

“She’s sick of that song on how it’s so long Thought he worked his until I handled my biz There I is - major pain like Damon Wayans Low down dirty even like his brother Keenan Schemin’ - don’t bring your girl ‘round me True player for real, ask Puff Daddy” TRANSLATION:: Your current love interest no longer wishes to hear your fabrications about the length of your member. After I had sexual intercourse with your woman, she became enlightened as to the proper way it is supposed to be performed; violently and immorally. It would be in your best interest to keep your woman away from me as my sexual prowess is very strong. If you are unconvinced, ask Puff Daddy. “You - ringin’ bells with bags from Chanel Baby Benz, traded in your Hyundai Excel Fully equipped, CD changer with the cell She beeped me, meet me at twelve” TRANSLATION:: You, on the other hand, jump from job to job, barely able to maintain payments on the Mercedes Benz you purchased for your woman. Meanwhile, I continue to engage in sexual intercourse and commit lewd oscillatory acts with your women. My only remaining option is to request that they leave my home and return to you because I have reached orgasm and no longer have a need for their presence. “So, what’s it gonna be? Him or me? We can cruise the world with pearls Gator boots for girls The envy of all women, crushed linen Cartier wrist-wear with diamonds in ‘em The finest women I love with a passion Ya man’s a wimp, I give that ass a good thrashin’”

TRANSLATION:: The ultimate decision rests with you. Whom do you choose as your sexual partner? I can take you on cruises around the world. I will dress you in the finest jewellery and footwear. Women worldwide will envy you for your fine clothes and jewellery. There is a special place in my heart for beautiful women. I will defeat your man in an altercation because he is effeminate. “High fashion - flyin’ into all states Sexin’ me while your man masturbates Isn’t this great? Your flight leaves at eight Her flight lands at nine, my game just rewinds Lyrically I’m supposed to represent I’m not only the client, I’m the player president” TRANSLATION:: You will be dressed in finest clothes on the runways of Paris. I will fly you to every state to shop for fine clothes and jewellery. You will enjoy sexual intercourse with me and your man will be forced to pleasure himself through manual stimulation. What a life! I’ll return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o’clock flight. The timing is perfect because I have scheduled a date with a second woman who arrives at the same gate at 9 o’clock. I’ll seduce her in the same way that I seduced you. I rap well and I am a positive reflection of my hometown. Not only am I a sexually deviant, misogynistic, immoral, wealthy, male prostitute, but I also sit on the board of directors of the organization that governs others of my kind.

November 2008

The hilton party by Entropy Magazine

Special thanks to HUMMER Limousines and Hilton Hotel for the Red Carpet treatment.

November 2008

article by SANDRA ADAMS

THE PERVERSITY OF CENSORSHIP It’s often said that what a society chooses to censor says a lot about its values. If that’s true, then I’m afraid for us because the Office of Film and Literature Classification’s censorship guidelines make it clear: we’re far more willing to drown in graphic images of violence than we are to be splashed by a glimpse of genitalia.

November 2008

THE OFLC’S CODE states that classification decisions are based upon three principles: to wit, that adults should be allowed to read, hear and see what they want; that minors should be protected from material likely to harm or disturb them; and that everyone should be protected from exposure to unsolicited material that they find offensive. So far so good, and if I must endure my government’s insistence of protecting me from myself, these three are principles with which I can live. However, there is a fourth principle, and it is here that it all starts to go pear shaped. It states that decisions need to take into account community concerns about depictions that condone or incite violence, particularly sexual violence, and the portrayal of person sin a demeaning manner. For the purposes of the code, “demeaning” is specifically defined as “descriptions or depictions, directly or indirectly sexual in nature, which debase the person or the character of the person described or depicted. Now, I don’t know how it looks to you, but that definition would seem to apply to every single victim on Law and Order SVU, not to mention every living thing within a 3-mile radius of the Bachelor and Paradise Hotel. Which begs the question: from what, exactly, am I being protected? One of the primary arguments in favour of censorship is that depictions of those things that, ahem, “offend against the standards of morality, decency and propriety generally accepted by reasonable adults” erode the fabric of society. As such, a rating system was devised, defining six elements requiring scrutiny for their level of “impact”. They include: themes, violence, sex, language, nudity and drug use. Once the level of impact is determined, one of six ratings – G, PG, M, MA, R or X – is assigned and, generally speaking, the less justifiable the connection and/or more graphic the depiction, the higher the rating. In ratings G through MA, nudity and the realistic depiction of violence is allowed if justified by the context, but sex may only be implied. R allows for unrestricted violence, implied sexual violence if justified by the context and the “realistic simulation” of sex. As far as Adelaideans are concerned, the ratings stop here, which means that porn available in SA is little more than softcore titillation, filmed from clever camera angles so you never actually see a naughty thing go into a naughty bit. That’s reserved for X, a category unto itself. Restricted to adults 18 years and over, it’s the only classification that allows depictions of actual sex, but no violence. No way, no how. Try to mix the two and you’ll wind up with a d-notice – the RC (or refused classification) rating, which is pretty much reserved for “offensive and abhorrent” depictions of actual sex and instructional material regarding crime, violence and/or illegal drug use. Once branded RC, materials become illegal to sell, have, hold or cherish. They also become insanely popular.

Not only is the rating system incomprehensible, but also the list of classifiable elements is perplexing. How has it come to pass that graphic depictions of those elements are deemed more harmful than stylized or implied ones? Why is it that graphic depictions of violence are not only more accessible, but more acceptable than graphic depictions of sex? And why is nudity on the list at all? Perhaps I’ve missed something obvious, but I find it hard to imagine how it’s more detrimental to the fabric of society to show a woman’s genitals than it is to show her mutilated corpse. The sad thing is, none of these questions are new. In 1949, philosopher Gershon Legman lampshaded the issue, quipping that “we are faced by the insurmountable schizophrenic contradiction that sex, which is legal in fact, is a crime on paper, while murder – a crime, in fact – is, on paper, the best-seller of all time”. For the sake of argument, let’s pretend to adopt the following basic premises: one, that there is an absolute causal connection between what we watch and what we do, and two, that censorship is a highly effective deterrent against anti-social behavior. Given the OFLC’s guidelines, we must then conclude the following hierarchy: one, that it is better to act violently (so long as there’s a reason) than it is to have consensual sex, and two, it is better to inflict moderate harm than to go naked. It’s an oddly misshapen rating system that suggests something vastly unsettling: sex and nudity are as debased and diabolical as are acts of murder and mayhem. That depictions of legal, normal and consensual sexual activity are deemed a thread to the fabric of society says a great deal about us, and none of it is flattering. Honestly, if it’s all indeed a case of monkey-see, monkey-do, I can’t help but fear for our future, because there’s no doubt about it: we’ve been served up the media equivalent of SARS. Through the magic of primetime voyeurism, most of us have ingested at least ten years of the most heinously violent acts imaginable, many of them sexually violent – and that’s just the evening news. Give it another ten years and we should all have raped and murdered at least one of our neighbors. I don’t know about you, but I think we’d have been better off if we’d spent those years watching newscasters engage in consensual sex. It would seem that the issue is less one of violence versus sex, the lesser of two evils, but that we’ve made tacit agreement on some basic principles. For whatever reason, we’ve agreed that censorship protects us, even though we’ve failed to define from what. Just beyond the smoke and mirrors, there lurks the question: do we really believe that, without censorship, we’d run amok? And if so, what content falling outside of “the standards of morality, decency and propriety generally accepted by reasonable adults” poses the greatest threat? I don’t have the answers. But I do know that I’d rather see a thousand naked bodies happily humping from here to the horizon than to hear one more word about McDonald’s Healthy Choices Menu, Big Brother housemates, Britney Spears, nasal injection technology or mobile phone ringtones – because that’s what I call offensive.

November 2008

article by James Wangman

Barrack Obama This year has been one of firsts in American politics - had either Hilary Clinton or Barrack Obama been put forward as the Democratâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s candidate, it would have marked the first time a woman or an African-American had been nominated as a major partyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s runner.

Illustration by Yohannes Handoko

September 2008

IT COULD have been the first year that either an African-American or a woman would have been delivering the President’s inaugural address. As it happens, the fairer sex will have to wait another four years. The Hawaiian-born son of a Kenyan man and a Kansas woman, Obama studied at Colombia University and later Harvard, where he became the first black editor of the prestigious Harvard Law Review. Obama raised over $58 million towards his presidential race during the first half of 2007, a record for half-year fundraising. In addition, $16.4 million of that came from small donations - less than $200 each - a staggering amount. In January 2008, he set another record, for monthly fundraising, after raising $36.8 million. Shortly after his nomination, Obama turned down the standard dollarfor-dollar public campaign financing system - the first major-party candidate to do so since its inception. An anti-war politician, Obama addressed the first high-profile Chicago anti-war rally on the day Congress and President Bush authorised the war in Iraq. He has promised to pull troops out of Iraq and dismantle the US’ nuclear arsenal. He’s also the first Teflon Democrat, with drug use, links to terrorists and radical friends sliding off like he wasn’t even there. Despite ugly racism is the Southern states, he could be the shot in the arm that the Democrats need - and that would be a first. American’s should vote for him if they want a first.

Joe Biden JOE BIDEN is Barrack Obama’s running mate and a perfect example of the right way to pick your VP - someone who complements your weaknesses. Who better to run with a young black guy than an old white guy? This is the second campaign in which Biden has run; in 1988, he declared his candidacy for the presidency. Initially a strong runner because of his moderate image, his speaking ability, his appeal to Baby Boomers and his high-ranking and high-profile positions on several committees, he gained a lot of media attention for attacking the Reagan government over their support of South Africa’s apartheid regime. However, in a campaign speech, he was accused of plagiarising the then-leader of the British Labor Party, Neil Kinnock, and somewhat distorting (at best) his past and that of his family’s to match with Kinnock’s. This ought to have passed without comment - statesmen plagiarise other statesmen in speeches all the time, it’s in their job description - but somebody discovered that Biden had a habit of misappropriating others’ work. In university, Biden had been charged with plagiarising five pages of a fifteen-page law review article; his defence was that he did not know how to reference properly. He was failed and permitted to retake the course. However, Biden does have some merit to him - a lot, actually. Biden’s most significant work, according to him, was his Violence Against Women Act, which contains a bunch of measures designed to combat domestic violence. He works tirelessly to protect American youth from drug abuse, and was instrumental in closing off loopholes for felons to escape punishment. With a net worth somewhere between $50 000 and $400 000, he’s one of the poorest Senators. He’s also batshit-insane, known for both his temper and his oratory skills, frequently referring to President Bush’s proclamations as “bullshit”, which makes him great TV material. American’s should vote for him, or he’ll mess them up.

November 2008

article by Aaron Macdonald

JOhn McCain If ever there were a movie to be made about a President, McCain would be the man. JFK and Nixon got Oliver Stone. Even Truman got a movie, and he was a peanut-farmer. John McCain was a goddamned Vietnam veteran, POW, fighter pilot war hero.

Illustration by Yohannes Handoko

November 2008 September 2008

AT THE US Naval Academy, McCain was an early leader, and often stood up for targets of bullying. Despite being strongly intelligent, McCain came into conflict with his superiors and only excelled in subjects which interested him, and graduated at almost the bottom of his class. At flight school, McCain was reprimanded by superiors who considered him careless and a clown. Later in Vietnam, his same style would see him rewarded for daring and courage. McCain would later remark that “we thought our commanders were complete idiots who didn’t have the least notion of what it took to win the war”. On his 23rd bombing mission, his plane was shot down. After nearly drowning, fracturing both arms and a leg, being bayoneted and having a shoulder crushed, he was thrown into Hoa Lo Prison, the “Hanoi Hilton”. He was only given medical treatment after his captors discovered his father was a top admiral. After his father became the commander of all US forces in Vietnam, the North Vietnamese offered to free him early (to portray them as merciful); however, McCain and his fellow officers had agreed only to be released in the order in which they were captured. So, instead, his captors tortured him. He would be bound and beaten every two hours for four days straight, and eventually the torture tapered to more merciful two or three weekly beatings, until he was finally released over five years later. The experiences were somewhat repeated in the 2000 presidential race, where he ran against Bush for the Democratic nomination. He compensated for his lack of funds by travelling with reporters on his bus, the Straight Talk Express, talking, as one reporter put it, so much that he often said things he shouldn’t have, which is why the media loved him. However, in South Carolina, with McCain leading in the polls 49-30 against Bush, a vicious and “anonymous” smear campaign was started against him, stating that he fathered a black child out of wedlock, he was a homosexual, his wife was a drug addict and that he was a Manchurian Candidate traitor (or at least mentally unstable). So his feelings towards Bush are not difficult to guess at. American’s should vote for him, cause he’s a goddamned hero.

Sarah Palin WHO THE HELL is Sarah Palin? The GOP’s first woman on a presidential ticket, Palin hails from Alaska, the obscure state next to Canada which America bought from the Ruskies for a pittance. She was a mayor and later Governor of Alaska, but her Far North roots belie her Deep South beliefs. A member of the paradoxical group Feminists for Life, Palin believes abortion should be banned in nearly all cases, including rape and incest. She is a lifetime member of the National Rifle Association, and supports capital punishment. She believes creationism should be allowed to be discussed in schools, but it doesn’t have to be part of the curriculum. She supports oil and gas resource exploration and drilling in Alaska, and has initiated federal lawsuits over the listing of the polar bear and beluga whale as endangered species. She doesn’t believe global warming is man-made. Palin also believes in pre-emptive military action in the face of an imminent threat. If Russia invaded a NATO member, she says the US should meet its treaty obligations. Oh, and she supports NATO membership for Ukraine and Georgia, which means the world could be in for some fun times if her main man ever carks it. She’s also a major hottie, winning and placing many beauty pageants as a teenager, and we believe she only wears those glasses to give her credibility and make people look at her as more than a pretty face. American’s should vote for her, because she’s a powerful, opinionated hottie.

November 2008

article by Terry Holbright

Drugs and politics On ABC1’s Q&A program the host, Tony Jones, began asking: “Have you ever…” when Malcolm Turnbull headed off the question by saying: “smoked dope? Well, yes I have.”

DOPE, also known as cannabis, or marihuana, or ganja (from Hindi/Sanskrit: gānjā, hemp), is a psychoactive product of the plant Cannabis sativa, or more often, Cannabis sativa subsp. indica. The herbal form of the drug consists of dried mature flowers and subtending leaves of pistillate (female) plants. The resinous form, known as hashish, consists primarily of glandular trichomes collected from the same plant material. The major biologically active chemical compound in cannabis is Δ9-tetrahydrocannabinol (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol), commonly referred to as THC which makes this plant the favourite form of entertainment for teenagers. After Bill Clinton admitted that had “experimented” with marijuana as a student in England, it seemed that it has become fashionable for other politicians to share their drug habits to the public as well. Turnball said he had smoked marijuana in his much younger days and now thought it was a very bad idea because the drug could be damaging. “Many people have [smoked it],” he said, before adding it was a mistake to do so. “I think now with what we know about marijuana, I think it is a very serious drug, and it is a drug that we should strongly discourage everybody, be they young or old, but obviously particularly young people from using.’’ He then laughed off a remark by Jones that he had made history by becoming the first Liberal leader to admit to smoking the drug. In addition to that, the Opposition frontbencher, Tony Abbott, had admitted to a “half-hearted puff” during a rugby tour to the US, and the Treasurer, Wayne Swan, and Environment Minister, Peter Garrett, have said they smoked the drug in their university days. I wonder why nobody asked them if they are snorting cocaine now, as everybody knows that marijuana is for kids only. It is my opinion that no serious politician should ever admit using anything less than a coke as they risk being seen as juvenile.

ILLUSTRATION BY MICHAEL ZIERSCH

November 2008

article by GREENPEACE

Forests for climate Forests are the most bio-diverse of all land ecosystems and are vital to life on earth. While only covering eight per cent of the planet, they are home to over half of all known species of land plants and animals and to millions of indigenous peoples that rely on them for culture, food, water and other basic materials.

FORESTS play a key role in regulating local and global climates. Ancient forests and their soils are huge carbon stores, storing almost three hundred billion tonnes of carbon in their living parts. The destruction of forests contributes approximately 20 per cent of the world’s greenhouse gas emissions. For example, due to Indonesia’s high levels of deforestation, recent estimates rank Indonesia as the world’s 3rd biggest greenhouse gas emitter, closely followed by Brazil. People destroy forests at an unprecedented rate. Only 20 percent of the world’s ancient forests remain in large, intact tracts. Protecting globally important tropical forests from destruction are of vital importance in the global efforts to avert catastrophic climate change. Important forests under immediate threat include the Amazon, the Congo, and closer to our region, the ‘Paradise Forests’ of Papua New Guinea, Indonesia and the Solomon Islands. Greenpeace is currently campaigning on forest protection and climate change issues in the Paradise Forests. We are asking governments for zero deforestation by 2015.The Greenpeace ship Esperanza has already begun a three-month regional ship tour of the Asia-Pacific region, starting in Papua New Guinea. In September, Greenpeace stopped a ship in PNG from loading piles of logged timber from the Paradise Forests. The ship was loading timber in at Paia Inlet, Gulf Province and was bound for China. The peaceful direct action was greeted joyously by local people, who are frustrated with the activities of the logging company in their area. Any government that allows imports of illegally or destructively logged timber must share the blame for the destruction of ancient forests. Australia imports around $400 million worth of illegal timber products annually from Papua New Guinea and Indonesia. Nearly 10 per cent of Australia’s timber imports are illegally logged. Illegal rainforest timber imports fuel climate change, rainforest destruction and corruption. The Rudd Government must live up to its election promise and urgently restrict illegal and destructive timber imports. Consumers around the world are starting to demand timber from logging concessions that are sustainably managed in an environmentally and socially responsible way. Consumers can actively support good forest management by asking for Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified and labelled timber. People should also buy forest-friendly recycled paper and commit to using less paper. For more information on the Greenpeace forest campaign: www.greenpeace.org/australia/issues/deforestation

Illustration by Dan Withey

August 2008

article by Aaron Macdonald

the business ofreligion Over the past few editions of Entropy, we’ve covered the war between the Church of Scientology and the protest group Anonymous. Scientology say that they’re being targeted by a religious hate group, but Anonymous say they’re targeting the morally abhorrent business practices Scientology allegedly indulges in. In any war, nobody wins, least of all the innocent bystanders: traditional religions which are traditionally rich, and their humble constituents.

Illustration by Dan Withey

September 2008

CHURCHES have traditionally been rich, but lately, they seem to be spreading their investments over a very wide variety of options indeed. The Seventh-Day Adventists – fairly garden-variety Christian religion differing from most in that worship takes place on Saturdays – is the second wealthiest Christian church in history. Little more than a rounding error, of course, next to the financial enormity of the Roman Catholic Church. The Vatican’s wealth, as a matter of record, is literally incalculable – due not to its quantity, but to the fact that so much of it is in so-called “illiquid” assets – art treasures, land, buildings and perpetual trusts. It’s perhaps unsurprising that many uneducated, short-sighted people (and, unfortunately, many more educated ones) believe that the world’s problems could be solved by liquidating these socalled illiquid assets of religions and religious organizations and using the resulting money to feed the poor. This is a position which is, at best, difficult to defend. How do you liquidate the assets of a religion? Do you chop off and melt down the golden statues of the angel Moroni which adorn Mormon temples? Is it possible to sell off the roof of the Sistene Chapel piecemeal? How do you liquidate assets which are, by definition, illiquidatable? Even if it were possible to sell off everything that religions owned, the money would last for a scant few weeks, maybe months at the outside. As it stands, the biggest churches contribute massive amounts to world charities through such channels as CAN, Caritas and ADRA. They own myriad community-based

institutions such as hospitals and schools that provide low-cost (or, in many cases, free) services and are of incalculable value to the region, Furthermore, they bring in – mainly by way of tithing and donation – many millions of dollars which are quickly divvied out to those in need. The Catholic Church is a special example of this: the art treasures and architectural wonders of the Vatican City bring in many millions of tourist dollars every year. In the very shortest of terms it may make sense to liquidate the assets of religions. A quick injection of cash into the emaciated arms of the poor the world round. Of course, on any longer timeline, the argument for liquidation falls apart. That’s not to say that religions are all smiles and rosaries. Despite the massive amounts of illiquid assets, a fairly large chunk of religious money is just that – money. Even within the inner circles of the Vatican, the root of evil still manages to bring out the greed and ambition of holy men. In the early Eighties, the Sindona/Calvi scandal caused over a billion dollars to go missing – just vanish – from the Vatican’s coffers. These occurrences are, however, as isolated as they are heinous. As with other religious scandals – fraud, discriminatation, paedophilia – there are evil men and women in every walk of life. Peter Liddy: magistrate. Surf-lifesaving coach. Upstanding member of the community. Big paedophile. But should we lose, because of Peter Liddy, all faith in the judiciary and the community? By the same token, the Church does not hold a monopoly on sin. The most obvious example of this line of thinking is the unprecedented success of writer Dan Brown’s books, most notably The Da Vinci Code. There is little doubt that Dan Brown is an excellent writer – evidenced rather well by the books’ perennial spot in bestseller lists. However, he’s also either a brilliant charlatan or a blatantly idiotic example of someone who “Didn’t Do The Research”. He takes ideas which have thrilled tinfoil hat conspiracy theorists for decades – the Holy Grail, Catholic conspiracies, the Illuminati, the Knights Templar and so on – mixes in a little sex and violence, bakes until golden brown and voila: bestseller. Religion, the source of peace, hope and spiritual comfort for billions, is reduced to a nifty angle and a plot twist. This is an excellent way to make a living; however, it makes his books the literary equivalent of a Sylvester Stallone movie – big on action, small on content. Anyone with even a rudimentary, passing familiarity with the subject matter of his books dismisses them as pulp fiction, and, indeed, they have generated an entire microindustry of books exposing plot holes and debunking historical inaccuracies, and books debunking those books, and so on. It seems that no matter how the churches behave themselves, or what they do for humankind, they will always be open for exploitation and ridicule. It doesn’t matter that they struggle to maintain their integrity and moral high ground in spite of scandal, dwindling attendance and declining social standards. Nor does it matter how much work they do to help the poor, the hungry and the suffering. They are always the last place people wish to look when things go right, and the first place to lay the blame when things go wrong.

November 2008

article by Lauren Scarfe

Series oftubes The take-up of high speed Internet has been astounding. In the last five years, the statistics have tripled â&#x20AC;&#x201C; almost 70% of homes with internet access have broadband, with over a million connecting in the last year alone. Still, a few bastions of neo-Luddites still remain. This is one of their stories.

Photo BY tim novak

AS I WRITE this I am currently two days away from joining the high speed world of broadband internet. Why, you ask, has it taken me this long? Am I not part of the Nintendo generation who require constant entertainment and shiny, tiny things? Well, yes and no. Firstly, I’m from the country, so Telstra hates me. But also, I’m strangely drawn to inconvenience in the same way that I feel a strong desire to go antiquing every weekend. These inconveniences include things like not wanting to buy a portable electronic music device, get rid of my VCR, or buy a new mobile phone that doesn’t look like it’s been through the wash one too many times. My reasons? Well, they are many and varied, but if I strip away the thin veneer they all come down to one thing. I’m too lazy to be a rampant consumer. Sure, I tell myself I don’t want to create more landfill, don’t want to be a part of the marketing machine, won’t conform to the masses. But if I’m really honest with myself, I have to admit it’s all about the view that if it ain’t broke, why update it? Besides, technology is improving at such a ridiculous rate that anything I buy now, I’ll just have to replace in six months time (if not before). I can’t stay abreast of the market because I spend my spare time antiquing. I’m not old, I just like old things. So, why the move to broadband internet? The internet is no longer interesting to me. Social networking only works if you feel like being sociable. News comes to me free via that other screen in my living room. And anyone who emails me can wait for my monthly inbox check, where I sort through to find the two emails I actually want to read. Besides this, I feel that my generation is leaving me behind. The hot topic of conversation over the last week has been a Kiwi whale. It took me half an hour to download half of that cartoon and by then, it wasn’t all that funny anymore. So, in a week I’ll be up with the latest world wide sensations, whatever they may be. I’ll be the one driving conversations about strange sea creatures with funny accents. And maybe then, despite my desire to keep all outside contact at bay, everyone will love me. All because of my high speed connection.

November 2008

Article by Helen Ftanos

Postcard from cyprus This is actually a story about the 11-year-old scar on my right knee.

IT ALL HAPPENED when as a kid I went on a family holiday to Cyprus. A small island that no one has no idea of. Because of my Australian upbringing I knew I would hate going. I could barely speak the language. In the village I was staying in I died - no shopping complexes, no entertainment, nothing. It was just me and the melon truck that drove by every day at the crack of dawn. One day my cousins and I decided to have a potato sack race. Me being Australian, I hopped into an empty potato sack and was ready to go. My cousins gave me some strange glares. After explanation, they actually meant that we were to race each other with full sacks of potatoes to my uncleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house down the road. Anyway, I hopped out of my empty sack and threw a sack of potatoes over my shoulder and start running. Victory was mine until... I started tumbling down the hill. The cracked, pit-holed road and a broken glass bottle had ruined my victory. Ten minutes later I was on my way to the nearest hospital that happened to be over an hours drive away. Funny enough, along the way my dad decided he wanted to stop over at the nearest deli for a quick bite. Meanwhile, I am in the backseat in agonising pain with a cut open knee and blood gushing out. But I do love my father for his concern of satisfying his hunger. An hour later we finally reached the hospital. There I lied awake on the bed while the doctor sewed up my misfortune with ten stitches. To this day ten has been my unlucky number. The rest of the holiday, my knee was in a cast. Being this a village, everyone is a family in one way or the other, so in the meantime I had the thrill of meeting grandparents, uncles and aunties, cousins and nieces that I have never met before. As much as I was missing my fashion local shopping complexes, local GPâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, hospitals, and entertainment while I was in Cyprus, money could not have bought the good times and the laughs I shared with my extended family while I was recovering. Now, everytime I see my scar, I think that it wasn`t such a bad holiday anyway.

November 2008

Artcile by john Jamisson

PaperHorse As Australia’s artistic communities expand so does Adelaide’s reputation for contemporary art. The cross over between street, design and fine works continue to evolve at an enormous rate with more and more creative individuals working together to make a bigger impact on an international level. ONE EXAMPLE of this is Adelaide’s newly established studio and gallery “Paperhorse Studios”. Founder and Director Lisa King opened the space in late March this year with the intention of growing an initiative that would hold no boundaries and push the norm of studio and gallery life to another level. Paperhorse is primarily a space where artists come together to create, unite, support and establish under one umbrella. On one hand the space is a contemporary live gallery with full walls holding new works and on the other is the ever so important studio space where resident artists work off each others creative energy, produce and build together. Backgrounds and artistic history of the in-house creatives stem from all over Adelaide, ranging from graduates of the Helpmann Academy to respectfully self taught individuals. These artists all hold their own individual style and work but still always seem to rise against and work together and support as one community. Current creatives include Stasi Kotaris, Dan Withey, Maebe Tetlow-Stuart, Danica Wellsheitman (aka nickas), Lauren Sutter, Egija Mittenberga and Lisa King. Paperhorse Studios continues to curate and host some of Adelaide’s newest and most contemporary exhibitions and events with the grand opening getting a positive turnout of almost 150 guests. Not stopping there though Director Lisa King plans on taking Paperhorse even further with collaborations involving other artistic studios and communities on both local and interstate levels. Future curations and events include Paperhorse Studios “Object” exhibition which will be opening and showing on Thursday, November 27th, at 7pm at Paperhorse Studios, the opening of Lisa Kings first solo exhibition at Tapedeck Razorblade which opened on Friday the 3rd of October at 7pm and finally “Siblings of Evolution” which will include over 200 sq/m of constructed art space involving over 50 South Australian creatives coming together with mediums of street, design, fine art, conceptual art, fashion, installation, moving image, dance and music and will be hosted by Joy Sparkes and Lisa King. The event will be held at Level 2; Bar on Gouger early 2009 so keep your eyes and ears peeled. Paperhorse Studios; Level 2, 93 Rundle Mall; Adelaide 5000. Tel (08) 8227 0421 www.paperhorsestudios.com

Illustration by Lisa King

August 2008

Article by Donna Stansfield

THE MUDDAFUCKA’ Hardcore gangster and raging psychopath Joe Pesci was born in New Jersey to a barber and a forklift driver. By age five, Pesci was appearing in plays in New York, and soon appeared on television on a variety show called Startime Kids. Under the pseudonym Joseph Richie, he released an album entitled Little Joe Sure Can Sing.

IN 1980, he co-starred alongside Robert De Niro in Martin Scorsese’s Raging Bull, for which he won a BAFTA award for Most Outstanding Newcomer. This was the beginning of a partnership with De Niro which would produce four more iconic movies: Once Upon A Time In America, Casino, Goodfellas (for which we won the 1990 Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor) and The Good Shepard. Pesci’s characters were foul-mouthed, short-tempered, violent and completely morally abhorrent; in one scene from Casino, Pesci’s character Nicky Santino stabs a man repeatedly in the neck with a pen for calling Robert De Niro’s character a jack-off. Pesci lampshaded his typecasting by satirizing his typical roles; in the Home Alone series, he played an inept cat burglar preying on Macaulay Culkin. Many, many takes were unusable because Pesci’s incomprehensible cursing – ratchafatching – often broke into the real deal. But Pesci also tackled other roles; in the Lethal Weapon series, he starred alongside Mel Gibson and Danny Glover as the fast-talking fall guy Leo Getz. He also had roles in JFK and My Cousin Vinny, playing vastly different characters. A good friend of Michael Jackson, he also appeared in the pop king’s movie Moonwalker. He retired from acting in 1999 to enjoy life away from the camera and to pursue, of all things, a career as a singer and Broadway producer. He released an album entitled Vincent LaGuardia Gambini Sings Just for You (after his character in the movie My Cousin Vinny), which spawned the cult classic single “Wise Guy”. Watch it on YouTube! and try and tell us that at age 65, Joe Pesci couldn’t still mess you up!

November 2008

Article by Jasha Bowe

Citizen media A few weeks ago I received an echoed and crackly VoIP call (Voice over IP - for you non-nerds who don’t frequently enjoy the dark depths of Whirlpool forums on the mighty interweb) from a man with a very commanding name – John Blaze. AWESOME - I said. An actual person called John Blaze, much like Max Power from the Simpsons – but real. Despite the fact that I was probably already willing to do whatever he wanted purely on the strength of his name, what he had to say sparked some interest, so I strapped myself in and prepared to feel the G’s. He was spruiking for my support in promoting a ‘citizen media’ portal site called Allvoices.com, and yes I guess that is a plug. But the citizen media ethos sits particularly well with that of Entropy magazine. In fact Entropy magazine is itself a form of citizen media (and a fine one at that) so I said, what the hell... let’s go for it. Just to clarify, citizen media refers to forms of content produced by private citizens who are otherwise not professional journalists (thank you kindly Wikipedia) – that means us until Rupert starts paying our bills (which will be NEVER). Citizen media is by its very nature anti-corporate, anti-mass media, pro-populous, and is generally (by design) the most current, rough as guts, warts’n’all form of media we have. It is the de-evolution of what we big-brother-loving media drones have come to accept as the given definition of ‘news and reporting’. It’s powerful and basic and good at the same time. Still not got the picture? Well here are some buzz words to help bring it into perspective. Blogs, vlogs, podcasts, vodcasts, digital storytelling, participatory video, student media and more, and may be distributed via television, radio, internet, email, movie theatre, DVD and many other forms. Many organizations and institutions exist to facilitate the production of media by private citizens, including, but not limited to, public-access television, Independent media centres and community technology centres. Why should you care about about citizen media? Because it’s unfiltered and it’s unspun, it’s right here, right now, as it happens. It’s not to say it is not inherently flavoured by personal bias, because that is one of its strongest attributes, and it doesn’t have to be anything, or it can be everything (how very esoteric) but the point is, citizen media is a divergence from the crap and bare-faced lies we are fed every day as credible, believable and justifiable news from around the world. How the fuck do you know what is going on in Iraq or Palestine or Georgia (I dare not even try and take a side)? Because the Adelaide Advertiser tells you so? Not likely. So why not find out from someone who is there? Rather than get the syndicated horse shit that, as well as being weeks out of date, was written by some copy writer in Washington who got told what to say. Citizen media. Look it up at the UniLife website. Be a part of it. Its good.

November 2008

on the road by Wend Lear

November 2008

Article by Luis Gardezabal

Notification 3 If you receive a notification 1 letter by the Uni, it means that you have been identified as making unsatisfactory progress in your program. If you receive a notification 2 letter, it means that you have have again been identified as making unsatisfactory progress in your program. If you receive a notification 3 letter, it means that you have been identified as again making unsatisfactory progress in your program and the Committee may decide that you are to be precluded from your program.

Photo by Ivan IVanovski

“SAM” woke that morning very nervous. He knew today was an important day. He had received that hideous Notification 3 letter a few weeks ago; his world was crumbling. Today was his last chances to remain a student. It all depended on the decision of the Appeals Committee. As Sam showered and dressed ready for the formal meeting wondered why he found himself in this dreadful situation. If the meeting with the Appeals Committee went bad, he will be out of Uni for at least 2 years. Why had he missed so many lecturers and tutorials? Why he didn’t listen to the Program Director when he got the Notification Letter 1 and the Notification Letter 2. Why did he really put his priority to earning cash when he knew his priority was to finish his degree? It really didn’t make any sense now. Now his future depended not on himself but on the decision of other people. He had lost control of his life, what a fool he was. On the bus a sparkle of hope came to his mind, he remembered the words of the Advocate from UniLife. “Sam, if you are clear in what you want, you write a quality Appeal Letter, you reduce considerably your working hours and commit yourself to seek help from your lecturers and from Learning Connection, the Committee might see the option to grant you a final opportunity for you to graduate”. He knew he already started following all the suggestions of the UniLife Advocate. He’d reduced almost by half his job (Where did I spend that extra cash?) he had written an intense timetable that increased his study hours. And yes he had already booked appointments to see both advisers from Learning Connections and Academics from the faculty. He wanted so badly to be a graduate. Perhaps he could convince them that he was a “for real” student? As he was walking to the room to face the Committee he felt his anxiety was increase again. Thank heavens the UniLife Advocate was there to support him at the hearing. The doors closed. The Committee asked a lot of questions. He was surprised he had the answers. They were the sorts of things the UniLife Advocate said they would ask; then it was all over. He left and the Committee made its decision to give him another chance. Sam was not the only student the UniLife Advocate supported that day; he wondered why students like Sam didn’t seek help of Learning Connection and Campus Central when they felt overwhelmed by the Uni experience, anyway he was pleased his free and confidential advice had helped some students today. Tomorrow he would again help more students with academic problems, academic misconduct, discrimination, sexual harassment, Uni policy and many more issues? Life’s good being a UniLife Advocate, you feel your really helping students like Sam.

Do you have a problem with any aspect of your uni life that you just can’t solve alone? UniLife’s Advocacy service can help. Our UniLife Advocates are available to advise and assist you with your uni life. Call Audrey Nicholson at 830 22863 or Luis Gardeazabal at 830 22889 or simply email: advocate@unisa.edu.au

November 2008

article by Olivia Reiko

but will it blend? Blendtec is a Utah-based company which makes and markets blenders. In 2006, the Blendtec founder, Tom Dickson, hit upon a brilliantly simple marketing campaign to show off the power of his blenders – put household objects inside, blend the everloving crap out of them, and post the videos on the web.

DICKSON began the campaign after attempting to blend a box of matches. Since then, he has blended hundreds of different items in over 70 videos, ranging from the mundane (ice) to the dangerous (cigarette lighters) to the expensive (two iPods) to the just weird (toilet flushing system). Soon after the first videos were posted to YouTube, Dickson was bombarded with requests to blend items. Thus far, there have been episodes which feature diamonds, glow sticks, marbles, golf balls, pens, magnets, aerosol cans, Tasers, Wii Remotes, sneakers, mobile phones and even – shockingly – a crowbar. Naturally, most of the episodes would be extremely dangerous to recreate at home, such as the episode featuring fireworks. The Blendtec site strongly advises viewers not to recreate the episodes, and provides several episodes which are safe – such as blending credit cards, or creating one of the many recipes (including the famous Cochicken drink – a can of Coke and half a chicken). One of the more memorable episodes is when Dickson purchased a brand new digital video camera, hooked it up to a screen, and then placed the camera in the blender, giving viewers a unique look into… uh, spinning blades of death. For added laughs, Dickson’s production crew then tried to return the powdered video recorder (in its original packaging) to US retailer Best Buy, claiming it was like that when they opened the packaging! Visit www.willitblend.com

74 74

November 2008

Article by Michelle Kavanagh

uninews Now that the study period is well underway and exams are fast approaching, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always good to know that thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s help available if you need it. Over 6,000 students contact Learning Connection each year, with the most common reason being for assistance with written communication and using English for academic purposes.

Photo by Peter Klasson

BEING WHERE YOU’RE NEEDED, and cataloguing of student visits has helped the University understand the services used most frequently, in turn allowing Learning Connection to focus on the services students need most. In response, more specialist staff have been employed in areas of demand, for example the recent increase in the number of learning advisers, careers advisers and counsellors available to UniSA students. So, if you’re not already a Learning Connection devotee, maybe it’s time to check out what’s on offer! Hit the ‘Student resources’ link on the ‘my Services’ page next time you’re logged in to myUniSA to find out more. Learning Connection is committed to offering a flexible delivery service to students, with staff contactable by phone, email, and online. The range of services currently offered includes language and learning development, counselling, career advice, disability services, and international student services. Check out the ‘Exams’ section on the Learning Connection website for information on succeeding in exams and making exam anxiety work for you. Or visit the online discussion group ‘Talking about exams’ to chat about any concerns you may have. There are also tons of hints and tips for other assessments, such as dealing with the challenges of group work, and making the most of oral presentations. So if you’re keen to find out more about what’s available to you, or are looking for support as the study period rolls on, jump online or drop into any Learning Connection office. Drop-in times are available on the web.

Article by thomas carnwell

everybody hates drink drivers No shit. Of course everyone hates a drink driver (unless itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s them). Unfortunately what people hate more is a dickie, annoying and un-engaging ad campaign.

AND SO it is for the SA government’s latest attempt at curbing the ever-increasing number of tools getting caught drink driving. I hasten to say at this point, before I am torn to shreds for heresy, that I am merely critical of the campaign not the message it delivers, as the message is one that we at Entropy support. Duh. Stupid ad campaigns can do harm to a good message, and it must be said that this works the other way around as well. Just watch ‘Out Foxed: Redux’ and you will get the idea. Whenever I see these bloody, painfully long, ads pop on to my screen I cringe and lunge straight for the remote. According to them, “advertisements on television show people in real life situations and what they think about drink drivers.” I always have a problem when people tell me that Advertisements on Television show people in real life, because they are in fact actors reading a script (but not like in Charlie and the Chocolate factory either). Trying to evoke genuine emotion in instances like this is seldom effective… when was the last time you cried during an ad break? Unless you were poking your eyes out to avoid having your mind raped by another set of god-awful ads probably not recently (that is – never). These ads are also reportedly supposed to “stimulate conversation and to get everybody thinking about the consequences of those that drink and drive”. Anecdotal evidence that I have so far been privy to is that the only discussion these ads have generated is how ineffectual these ads are. Bring back the ones where the crazy dentist guy pulls a fucking television through the guys nose and threatens to repossess his car in the same way… I liked those! And most importantly, they were memorable. Is there a point to this tirade? Yes. Despite the shitty ad campaign the message is worth heeding… don’t drink and drive you dip-shits. It’s not worth it, seriously.

November 2008

Article by Virginia Mathie

28 SEPTEMBER - 3 OCTOBER

MELBOURNE

Sport news Each September in the midst of footy finals fever, the country’s premier intervarsity games, the annual Australian University Games (UNIGAMES), takes place and is one of the highlights of the University calendar.

THIS YEAR’S GAMES were held in Melbourne (although the rowing component was held in Sydney) and saw a contingent of 60 students representing UniSA attending – a 50% increase on last year. UniSA entered teams in Basketball, Mixed Netball, Soccer, Athletics and Taekwondo. Although the results were mixed, on the whole the students seemed to get right into the swing of things. Which by all accounts is a great social experience (everyone gets smashed). Thanks have to go to the Team Managers and the organized individuals who made sure that they and their teams were there for each and event (in body at least), though their condition could have been at times described as a bit shaky, especially as the week progressed and the nightly entertainment really took off. Our major success for the week (in the sporting arena at least) were Nicole Mitsigeorgis who won bronze in the Women’s Taekwondo, Anthony Simons who won bronze in the Men’s Pole Vault, Jessica Trengrove who one silver in the Womens 10 000m and the Mixed netball (Tiff’s Team) who also won bronze. The rowers had mixed fortunes in Sydney with some making it through to the finals which given the enormous number of competitions is to be commended. Our students, if not succeeding on the court, certainly made up for it at the nightly entertainment that was arranged for them around Melbourne. With high hopes for all, most nights got under way well and truly before participants left the building, they made their way to various night spots flanked by hordes of Uni students from around the country and immersed themselves totally. Good that they managed to make it back to their games. As a group and individually the contingent did UniSA proud – They did their best and partied hard, which is what we really expected of them. Next year the games are on the GOLD COAST. Keep an eye on the UniLife website (www.UniLife.edu.au) so you to can join in the fun in 2009.

Unilife clubs

SPORT CLUBS: Badminton Club Ballroom Dance Club Basketball Club Canoe Club City to Bay Club Fencing Club Indoor Soccer Club - The Union Inline Hockey Club Judo Club Karate Club Lacrosse Club Rockclimbing Club Shodokan Aikido Taekwondo Club The Boardriders Touch Football Ultimate Frisbee Club UNI GAMES for 2009 UniSA Adelaide Pheonixs - Men’s Soccer UniSA Lions Hockey Club UniSA Motorsport UniSA Rowing Club UniSA Womens Soccer Club- Infernos Waterski Club SOCIAL CLUBS: 1 S.O.M.E Society Of Mechanical Engineers 3rd Year Nurses - Pub Crawl ACES Adelaide Flash Mob UniSA Group Adelaide Japanese Animation Society AIESEC Architecture Power Learning Task Force BanglaSA BEEST BOSS

Chinese Club Co - workers in Christ Commerce Students Association Drama Club Entropy Magazine Contributors Club Environmental Management Unit Evangelical Students Indonesia Students Association - PPIA UniSA Industrial Design Graduating Exhibition Commitee 2008 International students association Malaysian Students Association Mawson Student Network MED RADical Club Media Arts and Associates Microsoft Office download link costs only $75 dollars Music and Fashion Association. UniSA Chapter NRL and UNION Guild Overseas Christian Fellowship PakSA Pi Club RuShi Buddhist Youth Group Staff Club Student Exchange Society Student Screen Association Taylor’s University College Business School UniSA Gamers Association UniSA Labour Club UniSA Law Students Association UniSA Pilots Club UniSA Travel Club UniSA United Nations UNIVERSE University of South Australia Hellenic Association UThursday Club Whyalla Activities Club Whyalla Business and Enterprise Club Yearbook Club

September 2008

We need your Vote! At 9am on the 27th of October, the voting for the 2008 UniLife Board Elections will commence. To vote in the election which will determine the composition of the 2008/9 UniLife Board, your student representatives here at UniSA, simply look out for the “UniLife Board Elections” email in your UniSA Student email account. THIS YEAR, FOR THE FIRST TIME, VOTING WILL BE CONDUCTED ENTIRELY ELECTRONICALLY, SO MAKE SURE YOUR MAIL BOX IS NOT FULL!!! All you need to do is follow the link contained within that email and you will be securely logged into the voting system where you will be able to make your choice from the available candidates. You will be required to cast a number of votes, for UniLife President, Postgraduate Representative and then 2 representatives from your home campus. You will also be asked to select observers to attend the National Union of Students (NUS) conference later in the year. Just for voting in the election you will go into the draw to win 2 return tickets to any city in Australia and $1000 spending money. So make sure you participate, and as well as making sure that you have quality representation as a student here at UniSA, you could also win… BIG.

Go Team UniSA-Australia. Get behind the team backed by local knowledge. Become an official Team UniSA Supporter.

USA/0228 CRICOS PROVIDER NO 00121B

November 2008