From one mother to another
3. Small words of encouragement will help
Hypethesis
women when they are doing their daily activities, small reminders that they are doing a good job will lift spirits and relieve feelings of guilt and failure.
4. There are many idealised images and stories
of motherhood, if women hear/see true stories of experiences from other mothers this will relieve the feeling of failure.
Who
This book is written by mums for mums. These are real quotes from mothers, this is both advice they would give their younger self and advice they would like to tell new mothers.
Why
When speaking to my group, each the mothers said the thing they found most comforting and useful was words of encouragement and advice from other like minded mothers who had been though the same thing. “Postnatal anxiety is natural and it is not a disease. It will pass, but it will help if you knew about it and had someone to help you.�
Try your best to get rest so you will be able to handle your daily routines and enjoy your baby.
Sleep
Enjoy every moment and forget about housework. Sleep when baby sleeps and make friends with other new mums to share worries/ concerns. Take more time to recover. Let other people help, don’t expect too much from yourself.
Make sure you are fully prepared for the unexpected. Don’t plan on getting much sleep in the first few months. Ask for help from family and friends. Do what feels right,not what others expect you to do.
Don’t ever wake your baby up to feed it in the middle of the night, even if the nurses tell you to do so! Ruined my twins natural sleep pattern by listening to them. I should have listened to my common sense and just made sure they followed their weight curve. Took almost 4 years before I got a full nights sleep and I became really unwell....
Breast Feeding
Breast feeding is HARD!
Breast or bottle feeding does not define you as a mum, you getting some sleep and you both being happy is more important! Stress less!
Give breast feeding a go but don’t feel guilty if it doesn’t work for you, in my day if you didn’t or couldn’t breast feed it was almost a crime. Remember you are responsible for this new life but the help is there for you but don’t be bullied into doing something you feel is not right for you and your baby.
That it’s perfectly normal to feel shell shocked, that breast feeding does not always work no matter how hard you try and that is ok. And that although you may be bombarded with lots of opinions, you should follow your instinct. Also and perhaps most importantly. “Whatever works” no baby and no mum is the same.
Don’t worry so much about getting everything right, embrace feeding on demand and recognise that supplementing with a bottle is fine, don’t battle on becoming exhausted, which then affects the baby.
Relax! It’s going to be ok. You don’t have to worry about every little detail.
Relax
Relax! It’s going to be ok. You don’t have to worry about every little detail.
Relax, there isn’t a perfect way to do everything.
Relax. Take it all in. Deal with things calmly and how you see fit. Take advice and use what you want. Don’t be pressured into doing something that you aren’t comfortable or happy with. It’s your body. Your baby. You know best.
To relax more, go with your instincts, forget about cleaning and tidying your house and put your feet up when your baby sleeps in the morning or afternoon.
Help
Ask for help and arrange for help especially as soon as the baby is born! Don’t try to do everything on your own!
You can ask healthcare providers to do things differently if needed. Very helpful to have a friend or family member designated to communicate on your behalf as needed for difficult
To be patient, accept help and always remember you do your best!!
You cannot do it all and you cannot be perfect. Forget Anabel Karmel.
Enjoy the moment
Dont be scared - pregnancy is beautiful. Dont listen to women who complain how fat they were while pregnant, how heavy the belly was, how important it is to relax, and other blah blah things. Pregnancy is a state of mind. If you feel ok - then don’t listen to anybody’s advice! In most cases (and i bet 90% of all pregnancies), there is no need to change your lifestyle at all! Enjoy that period, cause it only lasts 9 months!
Take one day at a time, there is no right way or answer and a lot of pressure. Be confident in your own views and gut feelings. Enjoy the moments, take the time to see and experience them because hey grow up very quickly!
Enjoy every day, keep a routine, ask for help, breath consciously at least 15 minutes a day and laugh often even if it is fake (ie. laughter yoga), be playful and if you can, stick to ground floor apartments. It is hard enough as it is, no need to add flights of stairs with 2 babies and a double buggy every time you want to go out.
Enjoy every minute they grow up so fast.
Enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy your baby . Don’t worry about trivial things.
Enjoy your time with your new baby, sleep when you can and most importantly follow your instincts, Every body will have an opinion so make sure your ‘ cherry pick’.
Trust Instincts
Trust your instincts and do ,what you feel is best for you and your baby. If you’re struggling speak to someone, even just sharing how you feel makes things seem slightly better. Be proud of yourself even if it seems like you’ve done everything wrong.
Be more confident, enjoy every single minute, follow your instinct, accept help from people but don’t let them teach you
Trust your own initiative. Don’t worry about advice from others if it does not fit with your parenting style. Enjoy time slowing down as this is the most delicious time in your life and they grow up way too quickly.
Mummy always knows best, stick with your instincts.
Be more relaxed and rely on your instincts and of course enjoy every minute!
Trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
I was a young parent and have no regrets, i brought my daughter up alone for 4 years and think it made me stronger, society does not always look at single parents in the same way they do a couple, that part was tough. Don’t do what others expect you to do, follow your heart and make sure your child is in a loving stable environment.
Speak Out
Each pregnancy is a totally unique experience. Enjoy it for all that it offers. If you are worried/struggling in any way talk to friends/family/medical practitioners. You are not alone and chances are someone else has experienced what you are feeling. Sharing your thoughts helps.
Not to worry so much and go with your natural instincts and not to listen to all the so called experts and to listen to the professionals, and not to be afraid to ask them for advice.
I loved reading books, but in the end an awesome neonatal nurse was my saviour. Surround yourself with good positive people. Reach out for help, don’t wait until you are exhausted and stressed out. It ok to ask for help.
Time Goes by Quickly
Spend time just sitting with the baby don’t worry about the house and everything else.
Enjoy every minute as time goes too
That you can’t plan for everything, and that you will be more tired than you have ever been, but it’s worth it! Being a mother is the toughest job in the worked.
Enjoy your baby, don’t worry about routines, it all goes too quickly, find friends, be honest if you need help.
Friends and Family
You should stick to your regular schedule of work/exercise/ seeing friends for as long as your are physically able before birth. Should spend as much time as possible outside postpartum (walking your baby, taking the baby to events, shopping, etc). You should stay away from any baby forums online as nonprofessional postings and opinions there
It’s hard work, tiring but very rewarding use family and friends as much as possible to give you and your partner a break and time together on your own.
Go with the flow and don’t worry so much. Have no expectations of yourself. Make the effort to go out, friends make you feel better.
To trust your instinct and not worry about what others thing. My support network of friends and family were amazing.
Try and meet other new mums and don’t go back to work too early. Build up a strong circle of friends.
Focus on the baby, your own health and your spouse.
It all comes naturally........ you can do it!!
Dont Stress
Don’t stress so much that everything you do may negatively impact your infant. And take more time for yourself than you think you should. A clear headed mom is best!
Enjoy your baby- don’t be too worried about making mistakes.
To be more relaxed and not stress about things. Be aware that there’s no right and wrong way, you have to find what works best for you.
Enjoy your baby- don’t be too worried about making mistakes.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, listen to advice but follow your gut. Most important of all, make time for your relationship and accept offers of support.
That you were the best Mum to your baby you could have been. Through thick and thin of mastitis you came out
You
There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. Do what you need to do to get through the day. It will pass and things will change. Be kind to yourself.
Tell your self everyday - “you’re and amazing mum!”
Idealised Images
Do you think idealised images and stories of motherhood put pressure on mothers?
Para - Yes- I feel like idealised images and stories or motherhood paint a pretty picture of motherhood, when in reality its much harder. A lot of this information isn’t shared with new mothers. Its okay for women to discuss real issues and not to act like everything is perfect. This would create a strong bond among mothers and let them know it’s okay to feel stressed or overwhelmed.
Stefanie - Yes- I think women think prior to having a baby that you have to have it all together and its easy/ you should feel happy all the time- when in reality its hard and its okay not to be perfect.
Insights Through this area of study there are a few key insights that have stood out and are important for generating my final brief. It is important that women know that if you are not able to breastfeed, this is not unusual. Listen to instincts, as a mother they know what is best for their child. Little words of encouragement are very important for mothers to understand they are doing a good job.
It is important for mothers to take time for themselves and their mental well-being. Idealised images and stories of motherhood can caues extreme feelings of guilt and failure.