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THE GIRL AND THE CAT ON TRUST (A fairy tale for youngsters over sixty)

Once upon a time there was a girl who was very beautiful, regretfully not in appearance, but only in character. Looking at her would smart your eyes and this sad fact made her very lonely. She lived alone with her cat in a small cottage near the edge of the forest. Now the cat was, as cats go, something spectacular. An imposing figure of a tom-cat, with big mysterious eyes, large whiskers and a tail which would be the envy of many a comet. He moved about as if he owned the galaxy.

One evening when she was sitting in her rocking chair and the cat was dozing near the fire, a tear fell on her knitting work. Suddenly the cat started to talk.

"I don't like it when you are unhappy," he said, "it disturbs the even tenor of my ways."

"I can't explain it to you, you wouldn't understand," the girl said, "but believe me, women are born to suffer."

"That may be so," the cat answered, "but you must admit that women are better equipped than men to handle it."

"If that's the best comfort you have," the girl replied, "I'd rather you did not talk."

"And if that is your wish, I shall remain silent," riposted the cat, "but let me assure you, that I am in a position to give you a taste of unbounded happiness."

The girl smiled. "You're on," she said.

"Wait and see," answered the cat and dozed off.

The next evening she heard some heavy footsteps and when she looked up she saw the cat walk in, wearing a medieval costume. He sported a pair of big boots, a hat with a wide brim and feathers and around his waist was a golden belt with a dagger.

"What happened," she stammered?

"I come from fairyland," the cat said. "In fact I am quite a dignitary there and I have a lot of magic at my command," he continued, "every time you see me dozing in the window sill, I am actually functioning in fairyland doing very, very important things. I have discussed your plight with my peers and they have given me a free hand to make arrangements. Outside, I have waiting a six horse carriage to take you to fairyland. You are to attend a ball at the main castle and to dance with the prince. By the time you get there, you'll be beautiful and be dressed like a princess. At midnight I'll wait for you in front of the castle to take you home again."

Speechless the girl entered the carriage.

At midnight she came out of the castle again, breathless, happy, but with tears in her eyes.

"Dear cat," she said, "can't I stay. I have fallen in love with the prince and he loves me. Please let me stay. I'll offer you the best I've got, if you let me stay!"

"Now that's a very stupid thing to do," the cat said, "to lay everything you've got on the table before

page 2 you start negotiating. I accept the terms, however. Tell me, what do you value most?"

"My womanhood," the girl said quickly.

"You can't do that," said the cat, "because you've just promised it to the prince. I grant you that it is not uncommon in some female circles to promise it more than once, but that's out of the question in fairyland. So let's have your next best asset."

The girl reflected deeply. At last she said: "The most important thing in life is trust. I'd like to barter trust."

"Excellent, a treasure," the cat said enthusiastically, "one of my favored topics. I would rather team up with a prostitute I can trust, than with a cheating virgin. Come to think of it, it might be more fun too!"

"But that's quite beside the point," he reprimanded himself, "forgive me for indulging in these palpable flights of fancy."

"It's only human," the girl said soothingly.

"It is a delicate subject," the cat continued, "we must approach it very carefully. Now would you like to barter your ability to trust others or your capacity to be trusted?"

"The former," the girl said spontaneously.

"This beggars believe," exclaimed the cat, "however, I must apologize, I tricked you. The two are inseparable. Suppose you lose your ability to trust others, could you be trusted? Of course not. Let us consider our relation. Do you trust me?"

"All the way," the girl said.

"Not so fast," the cat answered, "trust me in what? You trust me to sit in your lap and purr. You trust me to steal the fish from the kitchen sink if you give me half a chance. In short you trust me to respond to a certain behavioral pattern, which conforms with the image of a cat."

"I agree," the girl said, "that's how I trust you."

"Now suppose you were to lose all that, that you did not have a clue as to how and what to trust in other creatures around you. You'd be lost, you would be an empty shell. To put it scientifically, you would go bonkers. Every headshrinker who saw you, even from a distance, would lock you up so fast you couldn't say Jack Robinson."

The girl started crying: "I've offered you the best I've got and you turn me down every time."

Reluctantly she moved towards the carriage.

"Stop slobbering," said the cat sternly, "grief serves no biological function, only love does that. Now listen carefully. In fairyland it is not logic which tips the balance, values like compassion and dedication pull far more weight. You have shown, beyond doubt, however foolish your suggestions were, that you are willing to sacrifice the best you've got for someone you love and that's what turns the scales. You can have your prince. Now let's go home."

"Can I stay in fairyland permanently now," asked the girl hopefully, when they had returned to the cottage.

"No," answered the cat, " you live your normal life here."

The girl looked sad: "Then I see my prince only incidentally."

"No again, you share every moment of his life."

The girl looked perplexed: "My dear cat, I am only a simple girl, would you please explain to me

page 3 how I can be in two places at once?"

"I'll try," said the cat, "though I fear I am wasting my time. This subject, which is bread and butter to us cats, appears to be an enormous stumbling block to humanity. Your head shrinkers have discovered that most dreams occur in the few minutes just before waking up. In a poor attempt to classify it, they called it the "Rapid Eye Movement" period, REM for short. This only demonstrates an abysmal ignorance into the why and how of what they call the REM period. What happens in fact, is that you move into another time dimension with an arbitrary multiplication factor. You may recall from your own dreams, that you could live the experience of a whole day in those few minutes, without noticing that time had speeded up. We cats can control the dream, viz. when, how, where and the time factor. So you can see that it is very easy, when you doze off, to live somewhere else and to pick up the threads where you left off. This is all very coherent to us, but by all means, forbear from applying your normal arithmetic to it."

"I may seem importunate," persisted the girl, " but will the prince notice any gaps in my presence?"

"Do not vex me with desultory questions," said the cat frowning, "as I just explained, do not calculate hours minutes and seconds, rather calculate emotions, but that is beyond your scope. Even in fairyland one takes naps and that's the time when you move in and out of different time dimensions. Some very adept cats manage to share six lives and they only wake up for highly necessary functions. The well known proverb claims that a cat has nine lives, but that is a sympathetic exaggeration. Because of my magic I can move physically from one dimension to another, but you won't be able to do that without my intervention."

"Now, am I right in saying that you cannot interchange different time dimensions," asked the girl?

"Amazing insight," purred the cat, "sometimes even a blind pig finds a corn."

"I don't know why I put up with you," fumed the girl, "your compliments are worse than your criticisms."

"Indeed, poverty creates strange bedfellows," granted the cat, "but you must admit that the sting of a reproach is the truth in it."

"Even in poverty," retorted the girl, "there is nothing that costs less than civility."

"Forgive me," said the cat, "I so tried to be magnanimous, but there is so much mental sloppiness about, that one tends to get harsh. However, I am what I am, and what can't be cured must be endured. One must take life as it comes, wasn't it one of your Greek philosophers who said: 'I consume, so I am'."

"Your manners are as lousy as your metaphors," remarked the girl, "even so we are a great team. I may not be a genius but remember, a dwarf on a giant's shoulders sees the farther of the two. Why don't you go and steal a fish somewhere, while I doze off and see my prince."

"The idea is not without merit," mused the cat, "but I think I'll join you in a nap, I have some pressing engagements in fairyland."

And so they did.

Hans van Dyk