WARNING :
Do not start to read this book unless you are prepared to engage with the never ending creative odyssey that the makers of The Happy Ghetto are on. Once you embark you will be subjected to Beasts, Monsters, Bikers, Surfers, Yeti’s, Boneheads, Octo-headed strangelings and yarn spinning veterans. This is just one of the short stories from the many fantastical exaggerations that float around this ink fueled island. Keep in touch Ghettolingz. www.happyghetto.co.uk
All contents and images are the copyright Š2015 of Ed Gamester & Darrell Thorpe and may not be re-produced or re-told without their expressed permission. www.happyghetto.co.uk
Back so soon? My you have a hunger for tales today.
Well gather around Ghettolings, sit by the FIRE and enjoy a freshly baked lemon meringue. This tale is of the infamous bobble hat bandit and how he came into existence. Without this very important tale the prophecy would never have started and the very fabric of the island would have eventually disintegrated. But that epic story is for another day my quizzical bunch.
This is the Voodoo Shop where bob works
Go on.
Yeti! Bro I have an idea that contains lighting bolts of brilliance... Trust!
I’m thinking of a never ending spray can.
That’s genius…
As you can see this is a highly planned method, check the deats.
But how?
Clearly (sarcasm)
Don’t feel down bro. You just need to visit the Zen State, those dudes can help you get enough voodoo power.
Ah, but i don’t posses that type of voodoo.
OK! But FIRST i’ll need to get the freshest paint known to ghettoling. It will take all my handsome brilliance.
I’d take the routes man!
Er Yeah!
Oh, dude. I totally snapped my deck last week! I think i have enough cheddar in my account for a fresh one. Also i’m borrowing some sticky wheels, for a steezy ride yo.
cool man, oh avoid the Bonehead territory and no big drops!
THE ROUTES!!
Pure grippage... booooyah! Hey whats that rumbling sound? fudge of thor, where am I?
Yep, egg on my face. Bonehead territory! These dudes always trying to get free cheese
It’s Creamy Brie time Baby!
Yeti said no, but probably because he wants to be the only bad ass... Dare I ??
The Old Geezer Paint Plantation
Alwight sun, we got sum TRIFFIC deals geezer.
Er, not what I was expecting but go on then me old china. The freshest can you have scholar!
PURE FRESHNESS
LETS FREAKIN DO THIS!!!
Ok, lets shift this into EPIC mode. “ma ma ma nanana!”
Later that night
Well i’ll be damned if I can FIND the Zen State secret entrance.
Hey man, Wow I can see why you wear the bobble hat lol! Any way listen bro you need to think more zen like...
not all is as it seems! woooo...
Yeti? Is that you ?
This place is freakin’ Humazin!! TEACH ME YOUR GURU WAYS!
Big-iddy bam, mellow and Just lounging’ Steezin’ Bro..
It’s the guru dude
Woah, who the hell are you man, you can’t be chillin here
Er, Bob, from the Voodoo store.
Ah Yeti, how is that hairy brut doing down there ? Still steezin’ in & around town I presume?
Anyway, welcome to the ‘Zen State’, How can we help? Come to study?
Er, Toats! I just need some of your heavy duty concentrated voodoo juice.
Er... that’s pretty hard-core stuff man. Why?
Only for a never ending spray can!
Freakin frozen FISH sticks! Never ending you say.
Well, you’ll have to locate the VORTEX! DA DA DAAA
Hmmm… sounds pretty rad. You are freakin kidding me. Nope sorry bro, it will test you to the very core! Trust. REMEMBER, no body parts or you’ll end up like that freakin weirdo; VooDude!
Ha, that was pretty easy.
How2
Please use winch, no body parts!!!!!
Holy magic markers! That’s the dopest thing I have ever seen in my life! I wonder how it works, how will it know what colour to use?
Hey I’m primer, are you dad!? Can we get some Home Slice pizza and play Atari?
And you freakin talk!
Prime-dude, I love you man! We’re gonna eat tacos, pizza and burgers, then play atari till our eyes go square! Lets go shake the Ghetto up man.
Prime-steez is always death fresh Yo!
Bob and Primer formed a tight creative alliance the likes of which had never been seen. Their mission, simple‌ Be the radest dudes in the Happy Ghetto. But before they could do that they needed to hit up an 80’s zen state training montage to hone their skillz!
So bob and Primer stayed with the Zen State artists in those mysterious hillz and learnt the ways of the Guru. They would later return to Yeti at the Voodoo Store and remain under cover until the prophecy needed to be FULFILLED! Until next time Ghettolingz same tall tales same bizarre strangelings.
andit Bobblehat B
The eagles tear tastes sweater on the winds of a hurricane, when the moon is red and the maidens cheek is blushing! [translated : nothing good ever comes easy, stay true ghettolingz]