JUNE 2016
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CHILDREN OF INTERMARRIAGE
“NOT JEWISH ENOUGH?”
PJ LIBRARY PUBLISHING
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AUDACIOUS HOSPITALITY
P JL I B R A RY.O R G
As of the printing of this issue
PJ Library has distributed 9,088,634 books in the United States and Canada. This year, PJ Library’s sister program, Sifriyat Pjiama, distributed its 10 millionth book in Israel.
HOLIDAYS
VA L U E S
CAMP
C U LT UR E
Judaism is an interconnected web of values, traditions, rituals and culture. PJ Library books contain multiple themes and topics that spark conversations between parents, their children, and the community.
S HAB B AT
RITUA L S
T R A D ITIO N S IS RAE L
J EW IS H H E RO E S
F OLKTALE S
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f o r e wo r d THE
“We love that, in a very passive way—that is, the books just arrive monthly—our children incorporate Jewish stories, values, and lessons into one of their favorite activities (reading). In an interfaith family, where dad and kids are Jewish and mom is not, it’s very nice for Jewish material to come from an outside source and not our very religious maternal grandmother, who is lovely, but perhaps not the best vessel for all things Jewish related in our mixed family.” —PJ Library parent
We receive a lot of great testimonials at PJ Library, including many from interfaith families like this one. In many ways, this testimonial reminds me why my family signed up for PJ Library. My wife and I were overwhelmed with a toddler and stressed about being good Jewish parents (whatever that means). We knew we needed support, but we didn’t feel comfortable with the traditional resources available to us. Then our PJ Library books arrived.
It clicked a few hours later for me. In my family, Fridays were already special. During the week my wife and I work all day while my son enjoys nursery school. Friday is when we start two days of much needed family time. Fridays Are Special spurred us to light candles and shut down our phones on Fridays for the first time in our adult lives. As our family grows and learns together, we will have more and more opportunities to decide how Judaism fits into our daily lives, and PJ Library will continue to be a part of that.
We were already reading to our son, Max, at bedtime, but now we could read about Shabbat and tzedakah, in addition to Curious George. We needed an unintimidating approach to introduce our son to his heritage. PJ Library opened a door that let my family explore Judaism on our own terms. We didn’t have to attend services, or proclaim a certain level of faith. We were, and continue to be, in the driver’s seat, with the resources we need to feel good about what we’re teaching our son.
In this issue of PROOF we explore why PJ Library has been effective in engaging underserved Jewish families, including less-affiliated and interfaith couples raising Jewish or multi-faith children. We also look beyond the efforts of PJ Library to leaders in the Jewish community who are creating more opportunities for inclusion and acceptance. With that in mind, welcome to the June 2016 issue of PROOF.
A few weeks ago Max and I were reading Fridays Are Special. Right from the start, I was intrigued by the book, published by PJ Library. I thought the obvious title for this story would be “Shabbat is Special.” It was, after all, about celebrating Shabbat. But the PJ Publishing team decided on a title that, to me, reflected why Shabbat is a Jewish custom that can resonate with any family.
W IL L SC HN EID ER Director of Advancement
P JL I B R A RY.O R G
FUTURE OF JUDAISM
THE
The Children of Intermarriage
BY
ED MU N D C ASE Founder InterfaithFamily 4
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72%
of non-Orthodox Jews who married since 2000 married someone from a different faith background
Since the Pew Report more than two years ago, it has been clear that the non-Orthodox Jewish community is increasingly an intermarried community. Seventy-two percent of non-Orthodox Jews who married since 2000 married someone from a different faith background. Half of young Jewish adults have one Jewish parent. Anyone who wants to see Jewish traditions thrive into the future must recognize that it will not happen unless we seize the opportunity to engage interfaith families in Jewish life and communities. Positive news on this front emerged in October 2015 with an important new study by the Cohen Center for Modern Jewish Studies at Brandeis, Millennial Children of Intermarriage, funded by the Alan B. Slifka Foundation. The main focus of the study is to show the positive impact of participation in Jewish activities during college (Birthright, Hillel, etc.) on millennial children of intermarriage. But the study has important implications for Jewish experiences in childhood too. It reports that, for the most part, the fact that their parents are intermarried does not have direct impact on the current behaviors and attitudes of young adults, but Jewish experiences in childhood do. If their parents expose them to
Jewish experiences in childhood, then they are much more comparable to the children of inmarriage. The study includes the important policy implication that “reaching more intermarried families with formal and informal educational opportunities for their children should be a priority. Such experiences launch children on a pathway to Jewish involvement in college and beyond.” I believe that the goal of having children of intermarried families exposed to Jewish education is best served by a process that involves “trusted advisors.” These advisors would: • Build relationships with interfaith couples. • Offer assistance for interfaith couples (if needed) to find Jewish clergy officiants for their life cycle events. • Make opportunities for new couples and new parents to talk with each other and skilled professionals about how to make decisions about religious traditions. • Provide engaging resources and low-barrier educational programs for parents on raising young children with Judaism in interfaith families. Furthermore, trusted advisors who are rabbis are in a unique position to overcome any negative experiences interfaith couples may have had, and make recommendations that couples connect with synagogues and
51%
of young Jewish adults have one Jewish parent
other Jewish groups. If this process works, by the time children of interfaith families are ready for formal and informal education, their parents will be much more likely to choose Jewish education for them. For many years we have surveyed people in interfaith relationships about what attracts them to Jewish life and communities. In order of importance, thousands have replied that they are attracted by explicit statements that interfaith families are welcome, inclusive policies on participation by interfaith families, invitations to learn about Judaism as compared to invitations to convert, the presence of other interfaith families, the offering of programming and groups specifically for interfaith couples, and officiation by rabbis at weddings of interfaith couples. Our surveys, and surveys by other Jewish organizations of which we are aware, show that interfaith couples still report experiences of negative attitudes and disinviting behaviors as barriers to their expanded connection to Jewish life. These findings provide a roadmap for what Jewish communities can do to increase engagement by local interfaith families. For reasons not clear to us, the Millennial Children of Intermarriage study questions whether it is possible to dramatically alter the status quo regarding the childhood religious socialization of children of intermarriage. I believe that it is.
EDMU ND CASE is the founder of InterfaithFamily, a Jewish non-profit focused exclusively on interfaith families. InterfaithFamily’s award-winning website, W W W. IN T ER FAIT HFAMILY. C O M , and IFF’s Your Community model now operate in Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Cleveland, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Washington D.C. InterfaithFamily builds relationships and provides resources, services, and programs designed to engage interfaith families in Jewish life. 5
P JL I B R A RY.O R G
“NOT JEWISH ENOUGH?”
BY SA R AH R AB IN SPIR A PJ Library in Greater Washington D.C. My sister and I used to rattle off all the things we are, like some kind of personal chant: “English, Scots-Irish, Ukrainian, Cherokee, Baptist, Southern, and Jewish.” But the truth was, we didn’t really feel like we belonged to any of these groups. You see, it’s our dad who is Jewish, which meant that for many Jews in our hometown, we weren’t actually Jewish at all. We spent a lot of time feeling left out. We loved the holidays and spending time with our Bubbie and feeling connected to a culture and a religion with a long history. We loved that kind of Judaism, but it became exhausting being told, “You’re not REALLY Jewish.” Fast forward more years than I’ll admit to, and I run PJ Library for all of Greater Washington and work for a Jewish Federation, with a Jewish husband who works at a synagogue, a son in a Jewish Day School and a daughter at a JCC preschool. So, what happened in the middle? Lots of things. • I inherited my grandparents’ dishes and table and decided to use them to host a Passover Seder with my most supportive friends. It has grown from six people to more than 25 friends, family, and kids. • I started teaching preschool at a JCC and learned as much as I taught. • My husband and I chose to confirm our children’s Judaism in the mikveh (ritual bath). They loved getting “dunky-dunkied” to “be more Jewish.” • I did everything I could to make conscious choices about my beliefs and practice and to lead a meaningful Jewish life with my husband and children. • Most important, I found a Jewish community that accepted my family as we are.
The angst is there, but it’s diminished over time. (What’s a Jew without a little angst?!) Every day as a PJ Library Professional, I get the chance to make Jewish life and our Jewish community more welcoming for all families. We want the Jewish connections to be meaningful, and the books are often just the first access point to our shared culture. Education tools are included with the books, so that parents (including me) can easily learn and teach their children while spending quality reading time together. More importantly, we want families to love being Jewish. Each family finds their own path to Jewish life, so we provide a lot of options for families to make connections through the books and within the community. We host programs in grocery stores, bookstores, converted factories, playgrounds, ice cream stores, art studios, and more. We also have programs in synagogues, JCCs, day schools, our Federation building, and other Jewish spaces. Every engagement opportunity is designed to be high-quality, low-barrier, and welcoming to all families. If the books are the first access point, the programs are the second (and hopefully the third, fourth, fifth, and so on). I see it as my job to prevent the feelings that I had so long ago—feelings of being left out, of not knowing what is going on, of not being sure of my place. I do this by actively welcoming newcomers, explaining everything we are doing, translating and transliterating all Hebrew, and providing enriching experiences in delightful spaces. And my sister? She read PJ Library books to her daughter until she was old enough to read them for herself. My niece’s connection to Judaism was created by the PJ Library books—she takes them as part of her heritage, without guilt or judgment, just joy. And that’s the experience I want to replicate for PJ Library families.
SARAH RABIN SPIRA works for The Jewish Federation of Greater Washington and is the parent of two PJ Library recipients, Henry and Elana. 6
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Writing the Books I Wish I Grew Up With BY L AU R EL When I was a kid, “Jewish books” meant Zlateh the Goat and All of a Kind Family, and how I adored them! In general, I loved books, and in particular I loved books about the past. I longed to live in a simpler time. I remember how I’d tie a towel around my head, pretend it was a bonnet, and that I was a happy village girl, fetching water from the well. But the truth was that while those books were “Jewish books” to me, they didn’t resemble my life very much. I didn’t have Yiddishspeaking grandparents, with memories of the old country, or the Lower East Side. I had a grandma with a Mercedes the color of a tomato. I had a diverse elementary school, a non-Jewish neighborhood, and a Catholic mother. Never mind that I went to Hebrew school and shul, that I fasted on Yom Kippur and meant it. There were no books about my Jewish life. The sad thing is that my way of reconciling this fact was to assume that my own Jewish experience was somehow wrong. I felt like real Jewish kids had grandmas who baked challah and kept carp in the bathtub. All the books told me so! And for sure, real Jewish kids didn’t have moms who went to church and kept Irish fairy tales on their shelves. I was a fake and I knew it.
SN YD ER Years passed. I grew up, and became a writer. I also became a mom. One day, I found myself reading Jewish picture books to my own son. Only, as much as the world had changed in the intervening years, it felt like the stories hadn’t. Most of them were still set in the shtetl or the Lower East Side. Of course, these books were wonderful, but they weren’t enough. They weren’t the whole story. I knew that now, and I didn’t want my son to feel like a fake. This was how my first Jewish picture book, Baxter, the Pig Who Wanted to Be Kosher, came to be. This was how, as a mom and writer, I found myself working with PJ Library. Trying to craft stories that would resonate for my own kids, and also resemble them. What an amazing opportunity this has been—a chance to create the literature my own family needs. A chance to write the books I’d have wanted when I was a kid. And I really do see the effect. I see the change. I travel around the country, speaking to JCCs, synagogues, and day schools, and kids and parents approach me, and thank me. “I feel like Baxter sometimes,” people say. And then, suddenly, we’re a community. It’s an amazing thing.
LAUREL SNYDER is the author of many books for children, as well as a PJ Library mom. She also works as the Project Manager for InterfaithFamily/Atlanta. 7
P JL I B R A RY.O R G
PJ PUBLISHING
It all began with a Jewish folktale from Algeria ‌ Creating opportunities for more Jewish families to find themselves in the pages of a book
A spread from THE SABBATH LION, by Howard Schwartz and Barbara Rush. Illustrated by Stephen Fieser pictured above
Most of the folktales that the PJ Library Book Selection Committee reviews originate in Eastern Europe, or less often, the Middle East. A North African folktale is rare, and this one was retold by awardwinning folklorist and author, Howard Schwartz, and acclaimed author, Barbara Rush. The illustrations by Stephen Fieser were exquisite and deeply evocative of North Africa. After much review, members of the PJ Library Book Selection Committee
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decided they wanted to send The Sabbath Lion to PJ Library subscribers, but much to their dismay, they immediately ran into a stumbling block: first published in 1992, the book was long out of print, and the originating publisher did not want to bring it back into print. Not only this, but the book files were missing. Unwilling to let go of The Sabbath Lion so quickly, PJ Library decided to take it on themselves. As luck would have it, Stephen Fieser discovered that he had Kodachrome slides of the original artwork, which were then scanned and sent to a designer to recreate the book files. Today, 22,175 PJ Library subscribers have received this beautiful book that tells the story of a young boy named Yosef who is determined to keep the
Sabbath as he makes a dangerous trek across the desert to Cairo and back. Alone, with night quickly approaching, the Sabbath Queen sends a powerful lion to guard Yosef and accompany him on his journey. The successful outcome of The Sabbath Lion showed that creating books in-house is an optimal way to add desired books to the PJ Library line-up. And so was born PJ Publishing. Next came Fridays Are Special and Antlers with Candles, rhyming books from the point of view of a little boy who tells of his family celebrating Shabbat and Hanukkah. The author wanted the family to be interracial, something that is not seen enough in children’s books generally and almost never
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A spread from FRIDAYS ARE SPECIAL, by Chris Barash. Illustrated by Melissa Iwai pictured below
seen in Jewish children’s books. After receiving Fridays Are Special, one father wrote: “It was incredible to open the book to read to our child and see that it perfectly reflected our interracial and interfaith marriage. My lovely wife actually broke down and cried with joy when she read through the book and saw our family sitting at the Shabbat table.” The Book Selection Committee often has difficulty finding books for the youngest subscribers, so PJ Publishing began creating board books. Recent publications include family favorites such as Todah and Planting Parlsey. Todah is about babies who give thanks for everything from “the wonders of a brand new day” to books that make them “point and giggle.” Planting Parsley inspired PJ Library to mail parsley seeds
to all families to plant on Tu B’Shevat in anticipation of the Passover Seder.
PJ Library sources books from multiple publishers—45 and counting!
With 12 books in various stages of completion, PJ Publishing’s output is small in comparison to the number of titles purchased from trade publishers. The intention is to maintain a balance, but PJ Publishing does give PJ Library another creative venue through which to produce more of the high-quality Jewish children’s books that we want to distribute to subscribers. And while content is always core, books created by PJ Publishing have additional benefits, such as the ability to use the books in translation, so that children being raised in Jewish homes across the globe can read the same books whether in English, Spanish or Russian.
PJ LIBRARY’S TOP PUBLISHERS (in order of total title count and distribution) 1. Lerner Publishing Group (Kar-Ben) 2. Penguin Random House 3. Macmillan 4. Scholastic 5. Simon & Schuster 6. Albert Whitman & Company 7. HarperCollins 8. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt 9. Holiday House 10. Candlewick Press
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One of the ways we measure the success of PJ Library is in its ability to drive PJ Library families to their next Jewish experience. Overnight camp, day school, Jewish supplementary school, synagogue; PJ Library hopes that subscribers will grow up wanting to be a part of these unique Jewish experiences. In an effort to provide even more support to PJ Library families, PJ Library formed a partnership with One Happy Camper, called PJ Goes to Camp (PJGTC). The program awards grants of up to $1,000 to past and current PJ Library subscribers to attend Jewish overnight camp for the first time. Since 2010, PJGTC helped send 2,685 children to camp. This summer, 473 campers will be attending 95 different camps across the United States. There is still so much more we can do. In each of the last three years, as PJ Library recipients come of camp age, the demand for first-time camperships has continued to grow. This year, there are more children on the PJGTC waiting list than there are grantees attending camp. That means 544 children may miss out on the significant role that Jewish camp plays in their connection
to Jewish life. We are actively seeking funding partners to meet this demand. The 2014 One Happy Camper evaluation made it clear that the camp experience is more than fun summer memories. The evaluation found that 83 percent of campers in North America left camp with an increased awareness of their Jewish identity and were more likely to participate in their local Jewish community— including attending synagogue. With more than 80 percent of PJGTC grant recipients returning to camp for a 2nd year (and 90 percent of those for a 3rd year), the program has demonstrated the effectiveness of Jewish summer camp in providing PJ Library graduates with continued exposure to Jewish values. As writer Jordana Horn says, “I want to give this to my kids: the idea that camp is not only a place to sail and swim, but also a place to find out more about who they are and who they want to become as Jews.”
43%
45%
NEARLY
MORE THAN
of the recipients of PJGTC grants may not otherwise have attended Jewish overnight camp
onethird are from an interfaith family
of all PJGTC recipients were considering only secular, non-Jewish activities or programs, including 28% who would have stayed home
50%
of PJGTC families have annual incomes below $100,000
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P JL I B R A RY.O R G
COMMUNITY CONNECTION
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA Active PJ Subscribers: 2,657 Launch date: October 1, 2007 Cumulative Books Mailed: 155,412 Engaging families as children grow is key to building a strong Jewish community in San Diego. Starting at birth, every new baby is celebrated with a welcome basket filled with gifts and information about the Jewish community, including a brochure for PJ Library. Families are then encouraged to join playgroups that provide an immediate and needed community to parents and children alike. Playgroups, often a lifeline for support and socialization, extend a family’s activities to include programs held throughout the San Diego Jewish community. Many engagement efforts throughout San Diego are possible due to generous contributions from local philanthropists.
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Thanks to Claire and David Ellman Match, subscriptions in San Diego are now funded through age 8. Little Menshes, one of San Diego’s most popular programs, provides an opportunity for PJ Library participants ages 4 through 8 to actively engage by doing monthly mitzvah projects. The Viterbi Baby Book Clubs, named for San Diego’s very generous and original PJ Library benefactor, the Viterbi Family Fund of the Jewish Community Foundation San Diego, is offered in various neighborhoods several times each month. Meanwhile, the Leichtag Foundation ensures that children in North County, outside of the city, are actively involved in receiving PJ Library books and programming. The San Diego PJ Library team effusively thanks all of their funders and wonderful Jewish Federation led by Michael Sonduck and Heather Wolfson.
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ATHENS, GEORGIA Active PJ Subscribers: 93 Launch date: October 1, 2007 Cumulative Books Mailed: 8,080
family workshops related to Shabbat. Participants bake challah, make keepsakequality challah covers and paint ceramic Kiddush cups that are then fired. All along, they are fulfilling PJ Library goals of building lasting friendships and a sense of Jewish Jewish Athens boasts only 600 people, community. That, in turn, benefits all of so the small city doesn’t spring to mind as a likely hotbed of Jewish activity. However, Athens Jewish life, including Congregation Children of Israel, the Reform Temple, there is a lot happening to capture the the program's local administrator. “PJ interest and time of young Jewish families, Library has mobilized young families,” says from concerts to community-wide Purim Gootman. “It has been a major impetus for projects to a parents-only catered dinner them to feel like they have a place and an featuring symbolic Jewish foods. And that identity in the community. Many more are s largely thanks to the single-minded now synagogue members or choosing to determination of Marilyn Gootman, send their kids to religious school.” a veteran Jewish educator who is the local PJ Library professional. The Shabbat program in Athens was made possible by an engagement grant Gootman’s latest initiative in her quest awarded to PJ Library Athens by the to build a PJ Library community has been Harold Grinspoon Foundation in 2015 a Shabbat experience for families. This and goes to the heart of Gootman’s work. includes a series of at-home Shabbat dinners for small groups, supported by
PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA Active PJ Subscribers: 1,177 Launch date: July 1, 2008 Cumulative Books Mailed: 62,512 In just a little more than a year, PJ Library in Pittsburgh has doubled the amount of community programs they offer, welcoming twice as many families to have fun while they make friends and learn about Jewish holidays and history. In December of 2015 they reached a milestone: 1,000 PJ Library subscribers (38 percent growth!). The efforts began in October 2014. The Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh hired four dynamic moms to reach out
to families in four unique neighborhoods using PJ Library as their common denominator. After completing a training program designed by Lauren Bartholomae, Pittsburgh’s PJ Library Program Coordinator, and Beth Grafman, Harold Grinspoon Foundation Program Officer, the ambassadors were equipped with new tools to engage families raising Jewish children in their neighborhoods and build community close to home. “It’s about sharing PJ Library stories and resources with friends,” said Pittsburgh’s Squirrel Hill Ambassador Danielle West. “Meeting people where they are and adding a fresh, easy Jewish connection
“I cannot begin to express my gratitude,” wrote one parent to Gootman. “Our house on Shabbat is now filled with so much warmth and love. The experience showed us it was important to stop and take a breath—even though all our lives are so busy—and welcome Shabbat every week. It has made such a beautiful difference in our lives. My sons are 2 and 4 and they look forward to Shabbat dinners (candles, grape juice, challah, songs!) every week. It is their happiest place.”
is what makes this such a natural, organic experience for everyone. And being an ambassador has really helped me advance my own Jewish journey in joyous ways I never expected.” Bartholomae is thrilled that the program is having such a positive effect on families, and that more families than ever are engaging in Jewish community because of PJ Library and the ambassadors. “For many of these families, PJ Library is their only link to Judaism and the Jewish community, and I’m honored to be able to provide an open and inclusive environment for them.”
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TRIUMPH AND
TRAGEDY Why I’m so Committed to Strengthening the Jewish Community BY
APR IL B AS K IN
Judaism is not simply a religion; it is an extended family. In North America, many are born into it, about half marry in, and many were adopted along the way. While statisticians claim that intermarriage is the cause of dwindling Jewish participation, the stories of my parents and thousands of interfaith couples, Jews of color, LGBTQ Jews and Jews with disabilities tell a more multi-dimensional story: For many of us, our Jewish commitments have not waned, rather we have had our efforts to join Jewish community thwarted by intentional and unintentional barriers. I deeply believe that everyone should have at least one community in which they feel fully supported and unconditionally accepted, one they can count on to be there for them over the course of their lives. I consider it part of my life’s work to ensure that this be the case, or at least a realistic option, for many more Jews and their loved ones. This mission is a personal one, inspired by the community that took my family in and supported us through triumph and tragedy. When I was 9, my family moved to an area in northern California that had a very small Jewish community. My parents—a young interracial and initially-interfaith couple—decided that they wanted to join a congregation and be more intentional about raising their two young children as Jews. They were turned away by not only one, but two congregations. Fortunately for me, my parents decided they still wanted and needed the support that a congregation could provide—and that Judaism was theirs to claim. So, even after two alienating experiences, they tried again. On their third attempt, my parents were welcomed into a wonderfully accepting Reform Jewish community, Sunrise Jewish Congregation. My parents were young recent college graduates, however, and could not afford to pay full dues. The congregation offered dues relief and requested payment of one dollar. My parents agreed, handed over the one-dollar bill, and the rest is history.
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Sunrise Jewish Congregation became my second home and the cornerstone of a wonderful childhood. We attended Shabbat services and religious school regularly. My father took an Introduction to Judaism class and began studying with the rabbi. My mother joined the Board of Directors and served as the Director of Education for a couple of years. Shortly after my Bat Mitzvah my father was diagnosed with hepatitis C. Despite the challenges of such a serious illness, including years of misdiagnosis, my parents worked very hard to ensure that I had a typical childhood, and the temple played a vital part in that. I was very engaged in youth group. In my senior year of high school, I served as youth group president and the social action vice president for North American Federation of Temple Youth (NFTY) Central West. But that wasn’t all that happened in my senior year. Late in the fall semester, a careless 22-year-old in a fast Honda changed my understanding of the capacity and power of community—and most certainly changed my mother’s life forever. He came speeding off the New Jersey Turnpike, going 80 miles an hour in a 20-mile-per-hour zone. When he rounded a sharp bend on the off ramp, he saw my mother’s rental car stopped at the traffic light and slammed on the brakes, but nonetheless crashed, full-speed, into my mother’s car. The airbag didn’t deploy. Her seat broke. And so did her cervical spine. When I learned of the horrible accident, my world began spinning and I couldn’t breathe. Was she going to die? How could we survive without my mother? At this point, my father seemed to be on his death bed. His aggressive chemotherapy treatment was unsuccessful in fighting the battle against the hepatitis C. He was bedridden and barely conscious or able to speak. He no longer had the personality of the father who raised me. As far as I could tell, that righteous, sweet, loving, vibrant man was already gone. It was a devastating situation and my younger brother, Andrew, and I
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From left to right: April Baskin speaks at the Boston Black Lives Matter Hannukah Action in 2014. April Baskin talks with actor Michael Douglas, URJ President Rabbi Rick Jacobs, and restaurateur Danny Meyer at the 2015 URJ Biennial.
certainly were not equipped to manage it alone. My mother was the mighty glue that held our fragile family together. Without her, we were lost. Even today tears fill my eyes when I recall how members of our congregation, our community, were there that first night, bringing meals and groceries. By the next morning, a cadre of our dear congregational family friends and temple lay leaders had established not only a food delivery schedule, but also a carpool schedule to get me to the magnet high school I attended, located one hour from our home. Today, I’m incredibly grateful to still have both of my parents, who have invisible, but very real disabilities. I try always to remember to treasure each of our interactions because Andrew and I came deathly close to losing them both. I refuse to fully visualize what that story line would be like, though, when I briefly do, I am comforted knowing that our Jewish community would have been there for us. That, to me, is remarkable. Thirty years ago, our congregation embodied audacious hospitality before the concept was conceived. Members embraced diverse families from nearly all Jewish denominations, racial and ethnic backgrounds, accommodated for disabilities and even had an openly gay cantorial soloist, Glenn Cooper (z”l), in whose honor we made a panel for the AIDS Memorial Quilt. We had a thriving religious school despite limited funds and an enriching intergenerational community in which elders and youth were well-acquainted. For me, the “audacious” element of audacious hospitality is the insistence that we do have the capacity to be courageous enough to take risks for the sake of being far more inclusive and intentional about our diversity, while also not forsaking or watering down the richness and depth that Judaism offers.
My mother recently shared, “Our rabbi was part-time when we first joined, but we had a ton of families and a thriving religious school. A number of families were on dues relief, but people stepped up. We made it work. I’m glad that we were turned away” by the cantor of one of the other congregations. “Because ultimately, he was right. I don’t think we would have thrived at his congregation at all.” His turning us down “was another way of saying, ‘We’re not ready for you, but someone else likely is.’” My childhood was not without its heartache and challenges, but my Jewish community invested in my family and we wholeheartedly reciprocated. As a result of my family’s refusal to accept rejection from religious authorities and commitment to fostering an enriching Jewish home, I have inherited a tradition and extended family that I know will be there for me throughout the rest of my life. I am committing my life to helping more people have access to, and be embraced by, such a loving community. I believe Jews (along with many other peoples) have a critical and unique role to play in fostering a world of wholeness, justice, and compassion. The Union for Reform Judaism (URJ) leads the largest and most diverse Jewish movement in North America. We strengthen communities that connect people to Jewish life. As part of the URJ’s 2020 vision, Audacious Hospitality is the focused effort to embrace our diversity and reach out to those currently not engaged in Jewish life. The URJ believes that everyone can feel at home in Jewish community—and that Judaism must meet people where they are today to thrive tomorrow. As a movement, we stand for a Judaism that is inclusive and open and believe that there is more than one authentic way to be Jewish. Audacious Hospitality is a transformative spiritual practice rooted in the belief that we will be a stronger, more vibrant Jewish community when we fully welcome and incorporate the diversity that is the reality of modern Jewish life. For more information, visit ReformJudaism.org.
A P RI L BASK IN is the Union for Reform Judaism’s Vice President of Audacious Hospitality. She is a member of the Selah Leadership Network and is the immediate past President of the Jewish Multiracial Network. 15
P JL I B R A RY.O R G
PARTNER SPOTLIGHT
“Identity. Effort. Choice. These words mean so much to our family. Our Jewish identity plays an important role in our family’s decisions. We make the effort to cultivate a strong Jewish community. And we know the choices we make, big and small, make an impact on the future. So when we see Ella or Milo go to the bookshelf and choose a Jewish book to read at bedtime, we see how identity can be reinforced in such subtle ways. PJ Library makes cultivating a Jewish identify effortless. That is why we take pride in our choice to support PJ Library.” –The Holdstein Family
T HE HO L D S T E I N FAMILY San Francisco California
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JOSH & AIMEE SAN DE RS Pictured with daughters Abby and Evie Columbus Ohio
“Witnessing first hand the importance of PJ Library through the eyes of our daughters and the impact it has on our family prompted us to support the program. Every month, after our daughters run up the driveway tearing open their very own PJ Library package, together we enjoy the experience of reading their new books—their new Jewish books. We value how PJ Library books have helped us engage in conversations with our girls about many aspects of Judaism like acceptance and tzedakah. PJ Library has also provided a natural gateway to share Jewish life and core values with others. In fact, the books have been great resources for our daughters to explain Jewish concepts and traditions to their non-Jewish friends and classmates. PJ Library has strengthened our connection to a larger Jewish community. Recently, we were thrilled to learn that Columbus has been chosen to pilot the PJ Our Way
program, which enables our oldest daughter to continue her Jewish literary experience by choosing her own books to read and sharing her opinion with other PJOW kids. We want others to be able to benefit from similar experiences with their own families and are proud to support PJ Library in order to continue and grow this wonderful program.” JOSH & AIMEE SANDERS Columbus, Ohio
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P JL I B R A RY.O R G
PARTNER SPOTLIGHT continued
“I was delighted to help fund the PJ Library program in the Cincinnati area because I felt it was a great tool to educate young children about their Jewish heritage, and was particularly important in introducing the children of intermarried couples to the Jewish religion. The olderage books are a great support to the children in their Sunday school classes, enhancing their religious education. All in all, the PJ Library books are wonderful!!” ANNE HELDMAN Cincinnati, Ohio
“When we first heard about PJ Library six years ago, we were deeply moved by the impact that this simple idea was already having on families and children. When we learned that we had the opportunity to support the establishment and growth of PJ Library in the New York region, we knew that this was something we could support with both our dollars and our hearts. What could be better than providing families with Jewish books to read to their children? Through our support of PJ Library we have gained so much more than we have given. We have been honored and greatly touched by our small part in a large network of professionals and lay leaders who are deeply committed to opening a gateway for Jewish identity and continuity. We have witnessed first hand the impact of these books and supporting programs. In fact, we just read our grandson his first PJ book, Todah, and we say “todah” [thank you] to everyone for the programs and partnerships built through Harold Grinspoon’s and Diane Troderman’s leadership.”
“My interest in PJ Library comes from having a child who grew up in the library. Because she read, she was a straight-A student from elementary school through college. I give to PJ Library because I have a commitment to children’s literacy. PJ Library gives our community the opportunity to put books into the hands of our children. Reading is important. Jewish values are important. Thus, PJ Library is important.” JOHN BAKER Columbia, South Carolina
LOUISE & ROBERT COHEN New York, New York
JOYCE & RAMIE TRITT Atlanta, Georgia
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“The picture says it all! We give to ensure the continuity of Jewish identity, growth, and leadership within our Atlanta Jewish community. We want to reach out to our diverse Jewish community families who may have limited Jewish identity. We believe that through PJ Library’s outreach with stories and books that speak to children and adults, we increase the likelihood of engagement in Jewish life. As more families become engaged with our vibrant Atlanta Jewish community we believe the future will be bright for our children, grandchildren and others to enjoy and live a strong Jewish lifestyle, both here in Atlanta and throughout the United States.” —Joyce & Ramie Tritt
P J L I B R A RY A L L I A N C E PARTNERSHIP. From PJ Library’s start, partnership has been at the core of the program’s business model. We joined forces with partners in community after community, and now, ten years later, those partnerships have made PJ Library a vibrant community program that enhances hundreds of thousands of Jewish households. Our partners are more than business associates. They share our interest in preserving heritage and engaging the next generation in Jewish life. And, happily, they are people we enjoy being with, learning from, and building community with. PJ Library’s major funding partners, the PJ Library Alliance, gather bi-annually to socialize, share ideas, and engage in deep discussion around the PJ Library program, its current work, and its plans for the future. Through gifts of $1 million and above, each member of this funding partnership is making a significant impact on the program and its ability to broaden its reach, expand its offerings, and engage more families. The PJ Library Alliance recently spent nearly three days together. Our gathering took us to the International PJ Library conference in Baltimore to meet with the professionals running PJ Library programs in more than 200 communities around the world. We then traveled to Washington, D.C., to learn from experts in marketing, education, and philanthropy. Our final stop was the West Wing of the White House for a special briefing on civic engagement and education. It was the culmination of an extraordinary few days of learning and collaboration. We may not be able to top a visit to the West Wing at our next gathering, but I know we will have new and exciting PJ Library developments to share and celebrate, thanks to our work together.
WINNIE SANDLER GRINSPOON President
Interested in becoming a PJ Library Alliance partner? Contact Will Schneider, Director of Advancement: will@hgf.org | 413.276.0716
NON-PROFIT ORG. U.S. POSTAGE PAID SPRINGFIELD, MA PERMIT NO. 71
A Program of the Harold Grinspoon Foundation
67 Hunt Street, Suite 100 Agawam, MA 01001 413-276-0800 www.pjlibrary.org
/pjlibrary @pjlibrary @pjlibrary
N ONCE UPO A TIME
Since 2005, PJ Library and Sifriyat Pijama have delivered more than 19 million Jewish children’s books worldwide.
Every month the programs reach more than 400,000 children and families around the globe. CAKES AND S LE MIRAC
שלום
ЗДРАВСТВУЙТЕ
THE BLESSING CUP
HOLA
Books are distributed in four languages: English, Hebrew, Russian, and Spanish.
The program is available in 12 countries, including Australia, Canada, Costa Rica, Guatemala, El Salvador, Israel (Sifriyat Pijama), Mexico, Russia, Singapore, the United Kingdom, the United States and Uruguay.
Every PJ Library book provides information and resources to learn more about Jewish values, traditions, and holidays.
Thousands of engaging PJ Library neighborhood events take place throughout the year, building lasting connections to the Jewish community.
Funded through partnerships with local Jewish organizations, PJ Library is made possible by families and philanthropists just like you.
U FOR THANK YO RT PA BEING A Y! OR OF THE ST