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Leading Confidently

by Varina Buntin Willse ’95

If

you want to know what leadership opportunities are available at Harpeth Hall, Upper School Director Armistead Lemon would tell you “hundreds every single day.�

These opportunities arise in the hallways and in the classroom, on the athletic fields and on Souby Lawn, backstage as well as onstage. That is because at Harpeth Hall, leadership is not viewed as a title. It is not something that occurs at the podium for a select few. Rather, it is a set of skills and behaviors that is carefully nurtured and intentionally fostered from fifth grade through twelfth so that, by the time a young woman graduates from Harpeth Hall, she will have developed the self-knowledge, integrity, confidence and intellectual capacity to lead confidently.

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The Board of Trustees incorporated the phrase, “Lead Confidently,” into the mission statement in 2000, a fitting year for a bold claim.

Already in this century, women have made great strides in their ability to lead confidently, not only in traditional roles of power but in the myriad ways they have used their voice for good: demands for equal pay, outreach on global and local scales, and the Me Too movement, to name only a few. Women are rewriting the books on what it means to lead and proving that truly confident leadership is not about asserting power but about asserting character in conjunction with critical thought. Teaching young girls this skill is giving promise to the future.

How, though, is it done? How does Harpeth Hall teach girls to lead confidently? First and foremost: ongoing intentionality. To this Harpeth Hall is deeply committed. As Director of Community Support and Inclusion, Jennifer Adams, states: “We are helping students identify the ways they can lead, and we are giving them permission, too, to know that they don’t have to be the president of the club. It can be as simple as being nice to somebody who is having a rough day.

Ours is not a canned approach. We do it very intentionally around what is best for girls and how girls learn. There is no ‘Now we’re going to have leadership time.’ Instead, it is part of the culture.”

Developing a “culture of leadership” has been and will continue to be an ongoing process. The first step in that process, undertaken over ten years ago, was identifying and articulating exactly what the school means by “lead confidently.” This work resulted in a leadership statement that itemizes eleven behaviors of a young woman who leads confidently. (See sidebar.) Taking that list, Ms. Adams and Middle School Dean of Students, Traci Keller, set about establishing a leadership program that would help every girl in the Middle School see herself as a leader. They named a theme for each year: 5th gradelearning to lead myself, 6th grade-learning to lead within a community, 7th grade-learning to lead as a team, and 8th gradelearning to lead a community. They then took the set of eleven behaviors and assigned each one to a specific theme. For instance, in 5th grade, one of the focus areas is the statement, “She communicates effectively.” The girls consider a range of questions, ranging from “How do you communicate an idea?” to “How do you know when to hold back?” The foundation for this kind of thinking is knowing oneself.

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As Director of the Middle School, Judi O’Brien says, “When I think about this aspect of our mission—lead confidently—and then I map it to our middle school program, the first thing that comes to my mind is for the girls to know themselves well and develop a habit of reflection and the self awareness to ensure their actions and choices are in alignment with their values. It is also important that the girls feel their contributions matter and are appreciated.”

This approach—of knowing oneself and then using that knowledge to lead—works. As recent graduate Carmon Proctor, Class of 2018, articulates, “Leading yourself naturally evolves into leading others.

A self-assurance arises from this progression, a self-assurance which reaches the heart of leading confidently.” Carmon touches on what is Ms. O’Brien’s ultimate wish for the girls: “My hope is they carry that self-assurance with them in unfamiliar situations and circumstances where they may not feel comfortable.” Another hope of Ms. O’Brien’s is that “in being confident they can listen to someone who doesn’t agree with them and not feel threatened by it.” In this way, leading confidently fosters civility and helps promote inclusivity. Students l earn to be comfortable around those who are different, gaining the confidence to lead not only within a community of like-minded people, but also within a community that is diverse. This skill serves them well when they leave Harpeth Hall. They know how to ask questions, take risks, and make space for the other without fearing that they will compromise who they are in the process.

This kind of leadership requires both conviction and humility, both boldness and vulnerability. It also requires a dual practice of reflection and action. These dichotomies are supported by intentional programing, both curricular and co-curricular. For example, students in the Middle School lead their own parent-teacher conferences, an activity that necessitates a growth mindset. As Ms. O’Brien points out, “The students become very adept at identifying what they’ve done that contributes to their growth and learning, whether it’s incremental or dramatic improvement in a particular area . . . metacognition is the name of the game in Middle School.” Reflective thinking is important in the Upper School as well, though it is also a place where students are given more autonomy to take action. The club system is entirely student-driven. The Honor Council is student-run. The Talent Show and “Coffee House” are open to any and all student participation. In

I will never forget how important it is for leaders to listen to those they are leading because of my time at Harpeth Hall. When each opinion is heard, a community forms.

— CARMON PROCTOR, CLASS OF 2018

these endeavors, Ms. Lemon notes a “fearlessness” on behalf of the students that is admirable. Some of this fearlessness, which is on display outside of the classroom, has been cultivated inside the classroom. “When I think about leading confidently in the classroom, I think about a student’s ability to take intellectual risks, speak up and share ideas, and think critically.”

that teachers are given dynamic professional development opportunities, are supported and celebrated in their endeavors to publish and present ideas at conferences, and are encouraged to reach beyond the limits of their assigned discipline or workload.

The impact of a great teacher is priceless. As Carmon Proctor shares, “Each individual member of the faculty and staff at Harpeth Hall Ms. Lemon’s comment touches on one of the school’s essential truths. exhibits his/her own type of leadership. Some lead boisterously, The three elements of the mission statement—think critically, lead while others lead through their steadfastness. The singular constant confidently, live honorably—are inextricably linked. through all of these leadership styles is the One cannot lead confidently if she has not learned to personal aspect to them . . . I will never think critically, bringing a honed intellect to her forget how important it is for leaders to decision-making. Nor can she lead confidently if she listen to those they are leading because of my has not learned to live honorably, bringing a sense of time at Harpeth Hall. When each opinion is • exemplifies integrity. justice and integrity to her actions. Likewise, having heard, a community forms. The faculty and learned to think critically and live honorably, she staff have taught me that leadership is the • respects others and herself. cannot help but lead confidently. It becomes part of her primary difference between a community • is always learning. make-up. As Ms. Lemon affirms, “Sometimes it’s hard and a mere group of people.” to separate the three: think critically, lead confidently, • understands her actions That notion of community has never been live honorably. They stem from the same place.” make a difference. more on display than it was last year in

She

What is the ultimate goal of teaching students to lead confidently? There is no one answer, but for Ms. Lemon a desired result would be for “the students to feel strong enough about who they are that, even if everyone else in the class is doing one thing, they can do another.

They can—if they need to, if they want to—be countercultural.” To assure that students have this kind of self-reliance, Ms. Lemon and the Upper School Dean of Students, Liz Stockdale, are formalizing the leadership curriculum in the Upper School to further build on the success of the one in the Middle School.

They know that the students are already learning developmentally appropriate skills, and so the aim is to “make sure that we identify these and codify these in a really intentional way,” Ms. Stockdale says. One component of this work is to name age-appropriate leadership traits that will continue to be nurtured and developed across disciplines and co-curricular offerings. “What we’re working on is developing that playbook for larger leadership habits of mind that we really want our graduates to have and be able to intentionally apply,” Ms. Stockdale says.

• • •

the wake of Dr. Balmer’s unexpected and devastating death. The way the faculty has a positive attitude. responded—with composure and compassion amidst their own shock and grief—was inspires others through probably the most valuable lesson ever her dedication. taught. Interim Head of School Jess Hill, who • listens thoughtfully to the witnessed the behavior of the faculty from ideas of others. an external vantage point, credits the way the faculty “knew to give the girls the space • communicates effectively. they needed but also to be on the sidelines • understands when to lead offering support. They did such a good job,” and when to follow. she emphasizes. As for the girls themselves, their response was nothing short of • embraces the school’s inspiring. “We want our girls to take action,” commitment to diversity, Ms. Lemon says, and in this most critical inclusiveness, and equity, moment, they did. They were the ones to both in and out of the decide as a group to come to the school on classroom, as a means of a holiday in their plaid, holding flowers, forming a stronger and standing literally and figuratively in silence better school. and solidarity and love. They were the ones who spoke so eloquently and powerfully about Dr. Balmer during the celebration of her life. They were the ones to transform the campus into a colorful, meaningful tribute. HeartA key component of this leadership initiative, which is a product wrenching as it was, Dr. Balmer’s passing was the ultimate opportunity of the school’s SAIS accreditation process, is its focus on fostering for the girls to practice what had been preached. And because the leadership opportunities not only for students but also for faculty notion of leading confidently has been so effectively embedded in the members. The school has been doing this for years but seeks to bring curriculum and the culture at Harpeth Hall, they were able to meet even more intentionality and rigor to these efforts. Above all else, that opportunity with the perfect balance of conviction and humility, the girls learn what it means to lead confidently by observing their boldness and vulnerability, reflection and action that they had learned. teachers. Faculty and staff who are challenged and who feel valued Their behavior, and the school’s as a whole, epitomizes what it means for their own unique contributions make exemplary role models for to lead confidently. students. As such, the school will dedicate further resources to ensure

acts when she sees a need.

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“

Students are taught that leading confidently

is forging forward in their own vision of what is right, without constantly looking over their shoulders to ensure that people are listening…The Harpeth Hall girl intent on learning is a

force of her own; she exhibits her leadership in the classroom through her questions and her comfort with failure.”

Carmon Proctor, Class of 2018

“

“

Most of the time,

What makes Harpeth Hall so unique

is that it fosters all types of leadership in the girls,

whether that means setting an example for others, taking initiative in a project, or knowing when to take a step back and allow another girl to take the lead. When I came here in 5th grade, I had a concrete image of what I thought a leader looked like: a person who other people in a group look up to and take advice from.

Now, four years later, I realize how shallow and untrue that perception was, and how Harpeth Hall showed me the power of a variation of leadership styles.”

Sabrina Russell, Class of 2022

I do not even realize that what I am doing is being a leader, but since it is such a constant thing at Harpeth Hall, it has become a natural thing for me.”

Annie Stewart, Class of 2021

“

One of the many things I love about Harpeth Hall

is how the faculty encourages all students to take a leadership role in one way or another. This ranges from being an elected officer, a club president, and even actively participating in something that interests you.”

Zora Young, Class of 2019

“

Harpeth Hall instills genuine and authentic leadership

in students. The all-girls aspect and the accepting environment allow students to not only feel safe to be themselves, but also to lead in this manner. Harpeth Hall has shown me that leading confidently means being yourself and feeling comfortable in your own leadership style… I would also like to say that Harpeth Hall has taught me the most valuable leadership lesson: when to lead and when to listen. I have learned when to step up and be a leader, but also when to listen and let someone else take charge.”

Margaret Bone, Class of 2020

“

The skills to lead confidently were instilled into all of us as students at Harpeth Hall.

Yes, I was on the student council and held class offices, but I also learned the power of my own voice.

I credit the all-girls’ environment, the teachers who pushed and encouraged us to express our opinions, and the small classes that encouraged us to listen and learn from one another. Today, I feel confident enough to listen and think before speaking in meetings, and to articulate my opinion while validating those of others.”

Elizabeth Hightower Allen, Class of 1985

“

Being a leader begins with the encouragement to use your voice.

Have an opinion and be confident to speak up and share your thoughts.

At Harpeth Hall, we were taught that we all have a voice, and we were encouraged to speak with confidence and conviction. We had the support of our school community that truly values the contributions that women can make to our society, and that is such a wonderful gift for our girls.”

Meghann McConnell Myers, Class of 1998 24

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