Christian Leaders Hampton Roads

Oct ober 2019

PASTOR'S T I M A N D RO D I C A

L A M BERT FEATURING: An Answer From The Lat e Rev. Billy Graham

Pu blic Sch ools Ar e Ch an gin g, Sh ou ld You r Ch u r ch ?

Volu m e 9

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CONTENTS FAITH, FAMILYANDFIREFORCHRIST Pastor 's Tim & Rodica Lam ber t witn essin g th e goodn ess of God in th eir fam iy,bu sin ess an d Ch r istian Em bassy In ter n ation al .

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3THINGSI WISHI'DKNOWNABOUT LEADERSHIP PAGE20

PUBLICSCHOOLS ARECHANGING, SHOULDYOURCHURCH? Fou r lesson s f or you r ch ildr en?s m in ist r y an d you r adu lt s

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PUBLI SHER PEN Th e Bible says in Eph esian s, God's desir e is f or u s t o pr ay "on all occasion s w it h all k in ds of pr ayer s an d r equ est s. "

" That I may p ublish w it h t he voice of Thank sg iving and t ell of all t hy w ond er ous w or k s."

Ber n ar d S Har r ison , Jr It was the summer of 2019, I was scheduled to have surgery to remove several toes and maybe a foot, the result of my struggle with Type 2 Diabetes. The doctors said I had an infection in the bones of the foot. They also said my complete recovery would take six to eight months depending on what was removed.

The procedure was set for Friday morning at 9:30 a.m. After praying with various Pastor's and friends.

I went into surgery. After returning from the procedure the Doctor said " We could not find any infected tissue." " Consider yourself lucky!' I wanted to say "Amen! Praise God." Instead, I repied to the doctor " I don't think it was luck as much as it was prayer and God's mercy." Ths was the biggest glimpse of my faith in my heavenly Father.-- What a special gift. Praise God for answering prayers.

The biblical purpose of prayer is that we may get to know God Himself. ?Ask, and you will receive . . .? (John 16:24). We complain before God, and sometimes we are apologetic or indifferent to Him, but we actually ask Him for very few things. Yet a child exhibits a

magnificent boldness to ask! Our Lord said, ?. . . unless you . . . become as little children . . .?

(Matthew 18:3). Ask and God will do. Give Jesus Christ the opportunity and the room to work.

The problem is that no one will ever do this until he is at his wits? end. When a person is at his wits? end, it no longer seems to be a cowardly thing to pray; in fact, it is the only way he can get in touch with the truth and the reality of God Himself. Be yourself before God and present Him with your problems? the very things that have brought you to your wits?end I actually speak on this topic as someone who was brought to his knees in belief. Prayer works.

Most people are motivated to pray when they need something from God. In the book of Luke the

disciples noticed the prayfulness of Jesus and they asked Him to teach them how to pray. Jesus said " When you pray..." That was the beginning of The Lords Prayer.

Be yourself before God and present Him with your problems? the very things that have brought you to your wits?end. But as long as you think you are self-sufficient; you do not need to ask God for anything.

To say that ?prayer changes things? is not as close to the truth as saying, ?Prayer changes me and then I change things.? God has established things so that prayer, based on redemption, changes the way a person looks at things.

Prayer is not a matter of changing things externally, but one of working miracles in a person?s inner nature.

FAITH, FAMILY& FIREFOR CHRIST

by Lindsey Saunders Phot os Ronald J A t k inson "You will be changed by the anointed and uncompromised preaching of the inspired Word of God!"

cover story Fam il y is on e of God?s gr eatest gifts. No m atter h ow big or sm al l , th e in tim ate con n ection we h ave with peopl e wh o sh ar e th e sam e bl ood- or th e sam e val u es- is, an d wil l al ways be, som eth in g for wh ich to be th an k fu l .

For Pastor s Tim an d Rodica Lam ber t, th e fam il y h as im pacted th eir l ives an d th eir jou r n ey to Ch r ist, an d it is n ow th e stapl e th at bin ds th eir l ives togeth er.

Pastor Tim gr ew u p in a sm al l , con ser vative town in Sou th Car ol in a. At th e age of 16, h e began deal in g

with th e em otion al tr au m a th at cam e fr om l ivin g with an abu sive fath er ,an d sear ch ed for God in ch u r ch , al th ou gh h e fel t som eth in g was m issin g.

H e was desper atel y seek in g h eal in g, an d at th e ten der age of 17, Pastor Tim attem pted to en d h is l ife in a h igh -speed acciden t in or der to escape th e abu se an d r ejection h e was exper ien cin g at h om e.

H owever ,God h ad gr eater pl an s for h im , an d H is h ol y h an d cam e th r ou gh th e r oof of th e car th at n igh t, took th e steer in g wh eel , an d saved h is l ife. Th e power of God an d th e l ove an d h eal in g Pastor Tim fel t after th at m ir acl e was th e catal yst th at pr opel l ed h is l ife in a dir ection to ser ve an d l ive for Ch r ist.

Un for tu n atel y,Pastor Tim ?s fath er did n ot

su ppor t th e ch an ge in ch ar acter ,an d k ick ed h im ou t of h is h om e. H is fam il y l eft h im h om el ess, bu t h e

was n ot deter r ed in h is faith , an d n ever l ook ed back as God pr ovided for al l of h is n eeds to su r vive an d th r ive on h is own .

After bein g su ccessfu l in bu sin ess, Pastor Tim cou l d n o l on ger ign or e h is cal l in g to th e m in istr y,an d wen t on to atten d Bibl e Col l ege fou r h ou r s away

with wh ich cam e th e oppor tu n ity to pr each in differ en t ch u r ch es al on g th e east coast. Th en , in 1992, h e was l ed to h is n ew h om e after bein g offer ed th e ch an ce to br in g r evival to an aban don ed, boar ded u p ch u r ch in Ch esapeak e, Vir gin ia. H is fir st ser vice h ad 157 peopl e of al l back gr ou n ds, an d th is was th e bir th of th e Ch r istian Em bassy In ter n ation al Ch u r ch , a m u l ticu l tu r al , in ter den om in ation al ch u r ch wh er e h e an d h is

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THEBIBLEIS NOTACOMPLETEMANUAL ON HOWTORUNABUSINESS ANDBALANCEFAMILY TIME, BUT ITDOES PROVIDEALL THEDIVINE REVELATION NECESSARYTODOSO.

Rom an ia in 25 year s, an d sh e is excited to sh ar e h er r oots with h er fam il y in th e pl ace th at m ade h er th e r esil ien t wom an sh e is today. Even m or e excitin g is th e in vitation sh e per son al l y r eceived to m in ister to m al e pastor s an d l eader s, wh ich is ver y r ar e an d al m ost u n h ear d of in Easter n Eu r opean cu l tu r es wh er e m an y bel ieve th at wom en ar e n ot qu al ified to teach m en .

Th e m il eston es th at th ey wil l be settin g abr oad ar e Tim was br in gin g l ife to h is m in istr y,Pastor Rodica was en r ou te to th e Un ited States to atten d th e sam e Bibl e Col l ege wh er e Pastor Tim gr adu ated. Sh e was com in g fr om Rom an ia, wh er e sh e gr ew u p in a city cal l ed Or adea with in a l ar ge fam il y of eigh t ch il dr en . For m u ch of h er l ife, sh e witn essed h er fam il y's com m itm en t to ser ve God, in spite of a Com m u n ist gover n m en t, by h ol din g secr et gath er in gs an d h idin g m ission ar ies in th eir h om e. It was th is sam e r esol ve th at l ed Pastor Rodica on h er own jou r n ey to th e States, wh er e sh e m et Pastor Tim th r ee year s after sh e ar r ived in Sou th Car ol in a (as h e was l eavin g) th an k s to a fam il y m em ber. Th e r est, as th ey say,is h istor y.

Today,th ey sh ar e th r ee ch il dr en of th eir own : Town sen d, 20; M or gan , 14; an d Cal eb, 11. Al l th r ee ch il dr en h ave active r ol es with in th e ch u r ch , fr om dr u m m in g an d l eadin g wor sh ip to teach fel l ow ch il dr en . Th e dyn am ic of th eir fam il y is team wor k , an d accor din g to Pastor Rodica, ?Ever yth in g we do, we do togeth er ?.

Th eir n ext adven tu r e was a fam il y is a m in istr y tr ip to Rom an ia an d th e Czech Repu bl ic to m in ister to pastor s an d l eader s, br in g th e ch u r ch to a n ation wh er e l ess th an 2% of th e popu l ation ar e con fessed Ch r istian s, an d ign ite r evival in a sl ew of con fer en ces with a th em e of "W el com e H ol y Spir it?.

Th e tr ip wias Pastor Rodica?s fir st tim e to

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on e of m an y th at th e Lam ber ts h ave accom pl ish ed togeth er , in cl u din g tak in g on own er sh ip of th e Sh eph er d?s Gu ide an d In ter n ation al Pu bl ish in g In c. Th e Sh eph er d?s Gu ide is r efer r ed to as Am er ica?s Pr em ier Ch r istian Yel l ow Pages, an d it h as h el ped m an y Ch r istian l eader s gr ow th eir bu sin esses by pr ovidin g adver tisin g an d pr om otion ser vices at an affor dabl e pr ice.

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Public Schools Are Changing. Should Your Church? Four lessons for your children's ministry and your adults camera phones for our obsession with photos. Oh how simple it is to see something, anything, and snap a pie. A few shots from my recent vacation tell the story of a fun week in Arizona; the other two hundred ne trillion. That's the are overkill (according to the popular estimate for the number of looks on my co-workers' faces pictures taken in 2015, with volume after they ask, "How was your projected to reach 1.3 trillion next trip?" and I respond with, "Here, year. We recommend this Building Church Leaders training let me show you.") When not on vacation, my role includes tool: We can thank (blame?)

frequent visits to public elementary schools and conversations with academic professionals. I've developed an appreciation for how well educators know children (and their families). Most students spend 35 or more hours every week at school. Churches would be wise to consider a few easy lessons to observe from local teachers, principals, and the army of others involved with educating, caring for, and yes, loving their communities' kids. So what images of school life should attract a church's focus? Here, let me show you:

Picture 1: Students learn better in groups.

A substantial number of classrooms have abandoned desks in neat rows and now organize them in clusters facing one another or use tables instead. Together, children discover, discuss, and decide as a team how to express what they just learned.

Does your church?s children?s ministry organize kids in this manner, or does it still use a solo-experience approach? These little groups function just fine without an adult sitting in the middle leading the discussion.

Yes, we need adults in kids?ministry. But who should do the talking and processing? And does any element of this approach to education, common from kindergarten through college, deserve consideration for the main worship service?

Picture 2: Families are important.

Schools aggressively value and encourage family engagement? to laugh, learn, and spend time together. How? Look at the swelling number of nighttime, weekend, before-,after-, and during-school activities to which families are invited. And this is in addition to all the extra-curricular activities (sports, clubs, music, arts, and more) for students.

There?s plenty to like about events designed for moms, dads, brothers, sisters, and even grandparents to attend together. Are you planning a family event for your congregation? Check the school calendar first. A church will likely see that many of the most active members also consistently participate in school functions. Is there an

opportunity for partnering in this area?

(Of course there is, or that question wouldn?t appear!)

school connection opportunities. Consider what difference is made on your congregation if education choices mean little or no routine interaction with others from your church during the week.

Picture 3: Neighborhood life is Picture 4: Adult changing. relationships are This is a significant reason driving pictures 1 and 2. The idea that all children who live on the same street or in close proximity will see one another and interact with one another throughout the week at school is disappearing, and our education system sees it happening. I walked to school with a group of buddies. We played kickball together at recess, and after school we all ran around together getting into trouble. Great times, for sure. (Although I?m glad we didn?t have phone cameras back then.)

Today?s school-of-choice options enable parents

missing? and eagerly welcomed.

Churches routinely preach about the importance of parents guiding the next generation, but schools must pick up the broken pieces when homes fall apart. Want to know how families are really doing in your area? Visit a school and talk with the principal and/or a social worker. Your congregation has the potential to provide a valuable solution. How? Educators across the country know that a large and growing number of children arrive at school

without something vital in their ability to learn and live and thrive. The 11

You will impress teachers and principals when you acknowledge that vast volumes of students don?t have holes in their heads but, rather, suffer from holes in their hearts. And that?s exactly what a church can do something about: provide reliable relationships.

Education professionals know that life change takes place when an adult for a student. In fact, given the choice between reliable mentors for kids and large sums of money, backpacks, coats, hats, or mittens, they would select the relationships every time.

Thousands of schools now wait for churches to offer solutions for this.

Does your church provide what schools truly want and need for their students: love and hope? Let?s stop at four pictures. Any more might be overkill.

David Staal, serves as CEO of Kids Hope LTD. Reprinted with permission from CT Pastors.

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CHRISTIANLIVING

MY GPS ANGEL by: TinaGrant

Have you ever lost your way or gotten misplaced and needed to stop and ask directions? We all have, I'm sure. However, living in this wonderful technology world is exciting. All one need normally do is plug in your GPS system, key in the determined destination and let technology go to work.

That is, until God's GPS angel happens to take control of a life, as was in the case of this fictional story.

In this exciting escapade that follows, I encourage you to join in and become a member of this exciting adventure. I am confident you will find the true hidden meaning behind this seemingly chaotic experience.

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I'm glad it's over, that dreaded task of car shopping. This is one project I dreaded; however necessary it was as my old clunker has just about had it. Besides, this old jalopy had none of the modern-day conveniences needed for my extensive job travel, such as a backup camera, regulated speed control and that all-important GPS. I'm the world's worst in driving from directions.

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AS I W AS TRAVELING DOWNTHEINTERSTATE, THATFAMILIARVOICE STARTEDANNOUNCING FORME...

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Anyway, negotiating with a car salesman reminds me of the metaphor my good Presbyterian friend said when he stumped his toe on the stairs, "Woo, I'm glad that's over."

It's over for me, as well. My new vehicle is just what the doctor ordered. Now, to take the family for a test drive! I just can't wait for my next job trip; it will be so much easier.

Nonetheless, with all the sustained excitement, this old,

tired salesman must have slipped off into a well-deserved snooze. I suddenly found myself on the road again, en route to visit a good-paying client.

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In this specific case, however, the GPS tracking system didn't appear to be working that easily, as it seemed to take on a mind if its own. I was on my way to meet the business client and was pressed for time when I programmed the GPS. However, the strangest thing happened, my GPS suddenly began controlling the way it behaves, independently of my choosing.

As I was traveling down the interstate, that familiar voice started announcing for me to make a U-turn, if safe to do so, and turn around. This announcement continued steadily and seemed to get louder with each new announcement, until it was vibrating the dash of my car. Then, as if by divine persuading, I finally gave in and followed the instructions as the GPS wanted me to travel an out-of-the-way US highway, rather than continue the interstate.

me around the wreck."

"Wait just a minute," exclaimed my client, "Let me read you a verse from the Bible. 'You ar e t h e GOD w h o does w on der s; You h ave m ade k n ow n You r st r en gt h am on g t h e peoples' (Psalm s 77:14). In other words, God works in mysterious ways, His miracles to perform."

That's when I woke to the tune of more unexpected divine excitement. My door bell was alerting me to the arrival of a visitor. And this visitor happened to be my family church pastor.

"We've been missing you in church. I just felt the need of checking on you. I trust all's well," he explained, setting in motion our extended conversation. After this brief intro, I just had to tell him my dream, for which he had all the logical answers.

My trip took a bit longer than I had anticipated that day, due to my detouring. I knew I had missed a sale as this client was a real stickler for promptness, when it came to business.

As I told our pastor, I don't mind telling you. My life turned around that day. I'm not really sure if my Guardian Angel spoke through the GPS or the GPS satellite guided me around the traffic jam. In any event, it doesn't matter now as God got my attention that day by way of a most unusual chain of events.

But a bizarre occurrence happened that day.

As I entered my client's business office, I found him pacing rather nervously, back and forth. I figured I'd lost the biggest sale of the month.

As an experienced traveling salesman, I needed a little spiritual boost that day to show me I was traveling down the wrong spiritual road. God's GPS, by way of His Holy Spirit, invited me to turn around and travel in God's direction.

Nonetheless, when I approached him, instead of chastisement, he literally grabbed and hugged me. Obviously, I didn't know what to think.

Yes, I do know now that God's hand was on me that day. For, you see, if God can use a horse to throw the Apostle Paul to the ground and get his attention, He can certainly use the newest technology to prompt my thinking. That day, I realized God's Grace was not only sufficient to save me but would also keep me. (Philippians 4:7)

About that same time, the client's secretary came in shouting for joy.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?"

I exclaimed. My client then spoke up. "You see, there was a very bad interstate wreck, and one of the vehicles involved fit the description of your vehicle. We knew that it was about the time you would be traveling down that road. And, when you didn't show, we just knew something had happened to you. We both just stopped what we were doing and begin praying for your safe travel," he explained.

"I really thank you for your concern," I replied.

"However, I think it was more fate than prayer, as I'm not much into the prayer bit. You see, my GPS probably sensed the traffic jam and rerouted me

around the wreck."

"Wait just a minute," exclaimed my client,

After a prayer, my pastor thanked me for our inspiring visit and left me with a big hug and handshake.

So, was this GPS notice not like our lives? The GPS system is designed to communicate with an invisible source in the sky called a satellite. As Christians, we put our faith in the instructions given by an unseen divine GPS known as the living God. (John 20:29) And now since that fateful day of God's divine intervention, I have spent many an hour burning the midnight oil comparing the Bible truths to my finding peace by way of

the GPS instructions.

Just like accepting those successful directions given by my GPS, by accepting God's instruction s my eternal

destination was changed forever. (John 1:12) from the all-important attributes getting me to focus on the little side issues. (Ephesians 6:10-11)

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HEALTHYLIVING

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Th e Bible says in Fir st Sam u el: " Look n ot on h is cou n t en an ce, or on t h e h eigh t of h is st at u r e; . . . f or t h e Lor d seet h n ot as m an seet h ; f or m an look et h on t h e ou t w ar d appear an ce, bu t t h e Lor d look et h on t h e h ear t " (16:7).

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Rach el Hu n t er

Tips For M ak in g 2020 You r M ost Beau t if u l An d Healt h y Year Ever As one of the world?s most-photographed supermodels, Rachel Hunter has spent most of her professional life focused on fashion and beauty. She?s graced the covers of Elle, Cosmopolitan, Sports Illustrated?s famous swimsuit issues and many more publications. Now, for her new Ovation TV series? ?Rachel Hunter?s Tour of Beauty?? the New Zealander goes on a quest to discover the secrets of lasting beauty, great health and extraordinary longevity in diverse cultures around the world.

With many people looking to the upcoming New Year as a time to create some new, positive and healthy habits, Rachel Hunter offers some of the most eye-opening tips and tricks she learned on her ?tour of beauty? around the globe. From superfoods to anti-aging treatments to spirituality, these are

some of Rachel?s favorite discoveries for looking good and feeling great in 2016 and beyond .

Su per f oods? ?In many of the places I went, I was introduced to so-called ?superfoods?? that is, foods that are nutrient rich and low calorie.

They are also superior sources of antioxidants and essential nutrients. In Dubai, I learned nigella seeds, or black cumin as most people in the West know it, pack a powerful nutritional punch and are said to be a remedy for ?everything but death?! In Dubai, I was introduced to the benefits of camel?s milk. It has 10 times the iron of cow?s milk and is surprisingly delicious!?

An t i-agin g? ?There were so many amazing products all over the world that claimed to have anti-aging properties. Some were just not for me? like drinking a tea made of dried frogs in Korea? and some just plain

outrageous? like the $7,000 pure gold facial I had in Dubai. But my two favorite discoveries were dilo nut oil, made from the ?tree of a thousand virtues?in Fiji, and argan oil, made from trees only found in Morocco. Both are luxurious oils you can use on your skin and hair for a youthful, glowing complexion and silky hair.?

In n er beau t y an d lon g lif e? ?Wherever I went, I found a reoccurring theme: The real key to beauty, health and longevity is in your own heart!

When we express these Godlike qualities, actively live them, we're expressing beauty! God is the source of this beauty. Every single good attribute flow from God and is expressed by His spiritual reflection, His sons and daughters, you and me. When we choose to live these qualities every day, we are choosing to be beautiful.

Beauty is spiritual!

M Y ANSWER This column is based on the words and writings of the late Rev. Billy Graham.

(C) 2019 Billy Graham Literary Trust Distributed by Tribune Content Agency

Q: I often dream of Heaven and wonder if it is anything like what I imagine. Is there any way to really know? -- H.B. A: Heaven will be a place in which its inhabitants will be freed from the fears, insecurities and disappointments that plague us in the present life. We will be free from financial pressures that burden us down here; free from the fear of personal harm. There will be no fear of personal failure. Our relationship with God will be intimate and direct. It pleases God that His children would long for His heavenly home that He is preparing for us; not as a place of escape, but as a place where we will enjoy His presence forever.

But we mustn't shirk our responsibilities in this life. God intends for us to live full lives and to be engaged with others. We do not have to look far to find those who are more disappointed than we are or perhaps in worse health. Life is not about us; it is about learning to get along with our fellow man and most of all, life is about what we decide concerning the Lord Jesus Christ. A true Christian spirit desires to spend eternity with God in Heaven and wants to tell as many people about this great hope so that others can also enjoy the rewards of Heaven and the glory of God Himself. Until then, be faithful to proclaim this great message. There is a song that says, "But until then my heart will go on singing, until then with joy I'll carry on, until the day my eyes behold that city, until the day God calls me home."

"Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit" (Romans 5:5).

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This group is planning a community gathering Friday, November15, 2019 at Gethsemane Community Fellowship. The group is bringing Bishop Claude Alexander, the pastor of Parks Church, Charlotte, NC.

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Words by ; Karla Perry

Images : Ronald J. Atkinson

The Church in Unity Jesus prayed that we will be one as He and the Father are one. Our nation is fractured. Deep dividing lines mar our solidarity.

These lines are sometimes racial, denominational, political, or economic. The only way to heal a nation, is to live from unity as a Church.

Church unity is not church uniformity. It is unity in diversity. It is the Bride being one in the Spirit and walking that out day after day in the flesh. We may have different church traditions. We may come from different cultures or economic backgrounds. We may vote differently. But we

are all one in Christ.

In Christ, we are in unity.

The more we align with Him the more unity we will operate in because in Him we live, move, and have our being. Outside of Him is where there is disunity, disfunction, and despair. he only way the dividing lines in our nation can be healed is when the Body of Christ walks in wholeness.

We are the light that shines in the darkness. If the light reflects the disunity of our nation?s wounds, we will not be able to be the leaves of the tree that brings healing.

Jesus said that the world will know us by how we love

one another. It is time for the world to see a Church that loves each other well.

When it does it will see a Church, who has learned what it means to operate from unity.

The good news is that in Hampton Roads a group of believers are coming together weekly in unity and prayer. This group is planning a community gathering Friday, November15, 2019 at Gethsemane Community Fellowship. The group is bringing Bishop Claude Alexander, the pastor of Parks Church, Charlotte, NC. He is the former President of the Hampton Minister 's

Conference, the Board Chair of Gordon Cromwell Seminary and a board member of Movement.org.

Mac Pier Founder /CEO Movement.org

I Sen t Him Ou t To Becom e A M an

am a mother of ten of which eight are I black males. My goal as a young mother was to equip my kids to continue in the midst regardless of life happenings. So, I insured that they could cook, clean, do laundry, and wake up to an alarm clock. As parent, we love hard, and we hurt harder.

But no matter what, we have an obligation to parent to future success. So, to share one of my success stories in my parenting history. This is one of many. In addition, to the ten kids that are mine. Meaning, I raised them from young to grown, I had the joy of raising my grandson, and for the purpose of this article I will call him, Milton. He came to stay with us at the age of thirteen or fourteen. He was legally blind (with a little sight) and had a learning disability. A very pleasant, talkative young man. He and my baby son were around the same age.

Lin da Car r in gt on

So, they were raised as brothers. In my house, a male was a male. What did this mean, I treated him no different. He had the same chores as the others. He had the same expectations for school, ?to be the best that he could be?. My goal was to equip him to grow up and move out with the skills to survive and be successful.

So, the journey began, in my house, we only provide transportation one way. If you worked after school, you were responsible for catching the bus to work, and we would pick you up.

If you worked on the weekend in the morning, you had to take the bus to work and we might give you a ride home. Why? This gave them the responsibility to get to work timely. It also, gave them no excuse for not showing up, if they had a car in the future and it broke down. I wanted to insure they were familiar with public transportation.

At the age of 16, I took Milton to the grocery store to help him learn his way around, and to ask questions, if he couldn?t read the labels and was unsure of a product. He got SSI, so he learned to pay his bus pass the first

of each month so he could get around. He had a job cleaning offices after school; he worked with a bricklayer, just moving bricks, cleaning the site, etc.

He had to pay for his own haircuts, buy his own clothes and he had to pay us rent ($250.00). He had to save $50.00 per month and not touch it. He paid his own cell phone bill. I connected him with the Rehabilitative Services for the Blind, they offered a program to teach various skills for living an independent life. He was no different from most young people, rebellious, thought I was mean, greedy, etc. No problem for me. At 18, he decided he did not want to continue in school against my advice, so with an IEP he was able to graduate with a certificate. My house rule, out of school (no college), out of the house in six months. So, he and my son had to move out. They applied for an apartment together and OUT they went.

Wow, you put the blind boy out, yes, I put the blind boy out. Let me tell you, he was not ready. But him staying in my house, he would never be ready. I looked at mother nature. Birds build their nest high up in the trees, when they have babies, they feed them for a

while, but when they are of age, mother bird pushes

all his bills timely. I am very proud of him.

them out of the nest to fly.

Caterpillars have to struggle out of the chrysalis to ensure that its wings are strong enough to fly. I equipped him to survive.

Did he survive? Yes. To this day he maintains his own apartment. He manages his own finances. He handles 80% of his business. He has his support system. He knows he can call me and get help with things he cannot handle. Has he fallen? Yes, he has, he started forgetting to think with his big head and started letting his little head run him. So he got foolish with his money, stop paying his rent, buying his bus ticket, and gave women his password to his bank account. He got evicted. He called, can I come home? I listened to his story and then my answer was, ?No?.

So, he stayed here and there. With this girl and that girl. But he finally realized, if life was going to be better, he had to make it better. He got in survival mode and contacted his job coach and social worker and was able to get housing. He has

So, the moral of this article is that you have to parent for the future. Cute baby John is not going to be cute or a baby forever. I wanted my grandson to have to opportunity to live a full life.

Whatever, full life for him was. I wanted him to not be totally dependent on others to live. Does he have some dependency? Yes, but not

learned a lot through this experience. He still has relationships, but he knows not to give out his passwords manages well in his apartment and paying

day to day. He has had the opportunity to fall and get back up. He had the chance to be foolish and suffer because of his foolishness.

He did not have to live in my shadow but make his own shadow. He is very encouraging to other young people. He can laugh at his pass mistakes and share his journey to overcome.

I could have rescued him, sheltered him, and protected him, but where would Milton be today? Still here at my house. Bitter at life because it cheated him.

Waiting for me to take him, entertain him, and make life happen for him. My grandson is a MAN. I?m proud of who he has become.