Vol 3 • Issue 4 • April 2014
e ll e h c i M Lange
LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION
DEFINING your business SPRING DETOX YOUR SKINCARE
about about Hat Trick (noun): 1. A sports metaphor for three achievements by a single player in a game. 2. A magic trick. We happily accept both deÞnitions. Hat Trick Magazine is a special project targeted at sharing spiritual and professional growth with likeminded people from around the world. We share strategies that truly will change your life, business and career (with a little help from some pro friends). WeÕve all been there: under/un/employed, in a bad situation, in transition, wondering what the options are and not knowing the skills we would need to get us there. We wonÕt lie to you. Coming out the other side isnÕt easy, but we can show you what we learned along to way and help you get the conÞdence to turn that leaf over and pursue that which is your destiny. Knowledge is power. Not everyone fancies themselves to be an entrepreneur but the truth is, even when seeking employment these days, pulling together your resumŽ requires some sly articulation to showcase your skills, be keyword-optimized and with a strong, personable presentation to get noticed. We feature inspirational people who have great careers, amazing businesses, tips and a host of amazing stories will inspire and amaze you. Our editors and contributors are some of the most connected in their industries and specialisms. Hat Trick Your Life! Take control of your lifestyle, your career, your dreams and your journey. WeÕll share what we know and we invite you to join us. If you or your business would like to be featured or simply would like to contribute a feature in an upcoming issue, please email us on content@hattrickmagazine.com
Hat Trick Strategies cannot accept responsibility for unsolicited coverage made by our contributors including reviews, articles, manuscripts or photographs of products, services. While every care is taken, prices, details or availability of items are subject to change and we cannot accept responsibility for omissions or errors. We reserve the right to publish and edit letters or correspondence received via email, social media or other communication. All advice is given in general terms or as a matter of opinion, for entertainment purposes only, and may not be exhaustive nor suitable for all situations. Always seek specialized professional advice, speciÞcally suited to you or your business needs. Absolutely no part of this magazine should be taken as medical, professional or other advice - always seek the advice of a qualiÞed practitioner.
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Hat Trick Strategies, 2013 All Rights Reserved
Make Somet hing Magic al Happe n TM
Published by
Hat Trick Strategies
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EditorialTeam Team Editorial
Michelle Fitz Editor-In-Chief, Page Design Michelle is originally from Arkansas and the head of Hat Trick Strategies, a UK firm for Emerging Technologies, Business Change and Corporate Strategy. Her firm has served US and UK household names, government departments and a portfolio of business coaching clients, based globally. Michelle produces all page layout, custom graphics and ad designs for this publication. She holds professional qualifications in LEAN Six Sigma, PMI PMP, is a Practitioner in both PRINCE2 and MSP and is a leader in digital synergies linking content, the customer journey, social media and customer care words/SEO.
Michael Hartley Associate Design Editor Michael is a British entrepreneur based in Manchester, England and is an expert in graphic design, digital artistry, branding and design management. He is a trained violinist, and brings a tremendous breath of creativity to projects. His firm, Michael Thomas Designs, are experts in brand research for target demographics, image and the production of a consistent brand identity for mid-sized companies. Michael understands how to get at the heart of a firm’s offerings and customer base and works closely with select web designers to implement a consistent look and feel across digital, print and online platforms.
Eleni Sofroniou Illustrator Eleni is an illustrator based in London and owns Fall Into London. She produces the majority of the illustrations which appear in Hat Trick Magazine (which compliment give our magazine its distinctive look and feel). She has previously created pieces for ELLE Magazine, Essex Style Magazine, and The Female Entrepreneur Association. As well as creating personalised illustration, Eleni's illustrations can be purchased from her website.
Andrea Sullenger Business & Tech Editor Andrea is a mix of “kick butt” sales / marketing coach and inspirational possible-i-tarian. She has been working with solo-entrepreneurs for the past 16 years, helping them build their own thriving transactional businesses all while creating streamlined and successful digital products to maximize and leverage their income streams. Andrea shares many of her strategies via Hat Trick Magazine, but to get the latest, subscribe to her list.
EditorialTeam Team Editorial
Sandra Cunningham Career & Learning Editor Sandra contributes to the Careers column for the Financial Times and is the owner of Outside In Coaching and Communications, where she helps mid-career women make a successful transition from a soul-sucking, dead-end job to a meaningful and fulfilling career, while creating a lifestyle they can afford and enjoy. Sandra truly believes it’s possible to be wildly successful doing work you love whilst having the work/life balance most people can only dream of. Visit her website for free articles, resources and to sign up for your free e-booklet "21 Pointers to Sharpen Your Career Edge."
Shalanda Turner Style Editor Shasie has a B.S. Degree in Chemical Engineering and works as a Project Engineer for a Specialty Chemicals company in Houston, Texas. When Shasie is not at work, she moonlights in the Fashion Industry. She is the creative voice behind the top Fashion Blog; Live Life in Style, Founder of Houston Fashion Bloggers, Style Editor for online media site FashionMingle.net, Fashion Brand Ambassador for Monarch Magazine, Owner of Shop Shasie’s Closet and Houston Fashion Examiner for Examiner.com.
Charlene SanJenko Wellness & Lifestyle Editor Charlene SanJenko is a serial entrepreneur with a successful lifestyle and fitness practice serving Canada. She is an accomplished figure competitor and has served her community in local government. As a social entrepreneur, she believes there is an intrinsic link between physical and emotional fitness, leadership and excellence. She is a thought leader whose emphasis is in helping transform ordinary ladies into “HIP�, High Impact Performance women. powHERhouse.com
Amanda Cook Brittany De Staedtler Beauty Editor Brittany is an entrepreneur and Amanda Cook is an awardowner ofCertified bath, beauty and skin winning Health Coach who brand helps women lookand & feel care Posh Brats naturallystore radiant! flagship Bathery, located in Macclesfield, England. She is an Through her and inadvocate foronline career progression person classes and workshops, for womenteaches from small Amanda her towns. clients to Being from the Southern she eat healthy whole foods,US, detox overcame what couldfeel have their beauty routines, good easily template in theirbeen skin, a and tap into their natural energy stores. predefined for her, but pursued a career and degrees in Cosmetic www.VintageAmanda.com Chemistry, leading to the successful career she has held to date. Brittany regularly shares simple beauty secrets you can make at home, as well as her thoughts and skills in business.
EditorialTeam Team Editorial
Tanya Jackson Food, Home & Family Editor Tanya is the author of our popular Southern recipe column and the editor for our Food & Home section. She is married to a pastor, her high school sweetheart, and is a proud Southern mother and grandmother. Tanya has lived all over the US, but wherever she has lived, she has brought her love and curiosity for local foods and flavors. Tanya believes the best aspect of having cooked in the four corners of the US, was learning to cook what grows around us; because it is our families that make a difference in our lives and sharing our love and enjoyment of good food together goes hand-in-hand.
Karen Salmansohn Faith & Self Help Editor Karen is an ex-Senior VP, awardwinning ad writer/creative director (at age 27) who left her successful advertising career (having worked as a writer/creative director/ image consultant for numerous household names), to pursue her passion of writing. She owns notsalmon.com, is an Oprah columnist and a best selling author and book packager with over 1 million books sold. Some titles: How to Be Happy Dammit; Enough Dammit; The Bounce Back Book; – and many more. Journalists call Salmansohn “Deepak Chopra Meets Carrie Bradshaw”, merging empowering psychology/philosophy tips with edgy humor and stylish graphics.
Contributers
Lorraine Hill Head of Global Planning
Michelle Holmes Business Contributor
Sorelle Amore Style Contributor
Mina Muirhead Health Editor, Lifestyle
Gina Hussar Lifestyle Contributor
Manuela Wahnon Lifestyle Contributor
Mellissa Mallaya Lifestyle Contributor
Dara Avenius Career & Learning
Suzanne Perry Faith & Self Help (Victim Support)
Katie Clifton Faith & Self Help (Christian)
Cherie DeBurger Home Contributor (Life & Family)
Sukh Pabial Career & Learning
Marina Berberyan Style Contributor
Lisa Wynter Style Contributor
Joey Phelps Cartoonist
Amber Hamilton Henson Associate Home Editor
Ann Pissard Graphic Artist
Michael Phelps Cartoonist
Kate Spencer Lifestyle & Wellness
Nathalie de Ahna Lifestyle & Wellness
Katie Geddes Business Contributor
16 From the Editor
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Business & Tech Tips
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What a Nine Year Old Taught Me About Vulnerability
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Embody Your Sexy Geek
Career & Learning When to Call Time on a Miserable Job
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Presenting, Facilitation & Learning Graphic Art by Ann
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Cover Story
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Faith & Self Help 58
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Christian Columnist: Passion
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Lil Nipper Snapper Cartoon
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Style & Beauty
Shasie’s Style Picks
Spring Detox Your Skincare
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Confessions of a Hollywood Stylist
Karen Salmansohn
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See Ya Later, Alligator
Lifestyle & Wellness
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Muscle, Motivation & Mind Matters Why I Don’t Recommend... What’s Your Story Mystic Sisters
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Food, Home & Family
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Sweet Potatoes
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Bad Morals
We Love Hearing From YOU: content@HatTrickMagazine.com
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From the Editor
It’s All About
Definition I try to avoid talking about what I do in our consultancy practice because to be honest, it’s one giant snooze-fest and frankly, most people struggle to understand what we do, anyway. However, today I’m going to pull the stunt of the century and not only bring it up but go into some detail about requirements, definition of scope and the dangers of failing to control both. Deep breathing, OK? When we manage large projects, of any sort, all we are really doing is delivering someone else’s vision, or sometimes a vision/strategy we have helped a business fully document and align to a particular goal. Now, goals can be anything from being the best in frozen food sales in the UK ... to expanding your services to include a more strategic offering, such as instead of simply supplying gas and electricity perhaps also offering boiler repairs and fireplace safety certificates. Both of these ideas are really high-level goals for the business and require some thought and definition to really get to the bottom of “what our project list will be this year”. We choose projects which will deliver key objectives and which bestalign on the basis of delivering the strategy and the best possible return on investment (ROI). There are always a number of options for every goal and in brainstorming, it’s important that we map out each option and evaluate it critically to ascertain the right projects to invest our time and resources into, for this year. It’s really all about definition: getting as specific as possible from goals, right down to actual “requirements” which will help guide 14 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
investment decisions and ensure that whatever project we choose, we have firm expectations. I’m sure this seems obvious, but so many clients make all kinds of decisions from website platforms to service providers without having properly defined their requirements up-front, and then finding themselves truly surprised when the final product isn’t able to deliver to their cost, quality or even functional expectations. This sounds unbelievably simple but even the biggest companies in the world, in fact especially the biggest companies in the world, struggle to properly define, up-front, their requirements for everything for website development projects to major IT system implementations. If you are defining a project which delivers a strategic goal of expanding your business to include side project sales, you may identify a marketing project, an IT/ERP development project and a mobile app project. Similarly, you may determine that your accounting system needs to interface into the ERP solution to allow for automated billing, accounts reconciliation and business reporting. Suddenly, one strategic goal requires several projects, and each project will require definition of scope and the high-level requirements, with success criteria, in order to properly deliver the business benefits you’ve identified. Right ... about benefits ... the reason you choose one project over another is because of its benefits profile, which again you must define and quantify. ALL of these things need to be documented, monitored/reviewed regularly, and controlled so that you understand any changes made as your plan developments, to keep you on track If you have questions about developing your strategy or selecting/defining your projects and their requirements, please write in for free advice which we will publish in the magazine. Until then, remember, fail to plan, plan to fail.
By MICHELLE FITZ, Editor-In-Chief
Michelle
Letter From the Editor, Michelle Fitz •
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Cover Story
Michelle Lange: Lights, Camera, Action! Michelle Lange’s mission is to bring a cinematic edge and powerful story telling to business and corporate videos. She works with companies and entrepreneurs to tell their brand story in a way that is both compelling and authentic. Her specialties include creating a powerful brand message, producing professional videos, consulting in video marketing strategy, and providing on-camera coaching. Michelle’s signature offering is the business “movie trailer,” which tells a company’s brand story and unique value proposition in a highly cinematic way. Michelle also creates video content for corporations to increase employee engagement and achieve company initiatives. She
By Michelle Fitz 16 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Michelle Lange
loves sharing her expertise and speaking at national conferences including the IABC Worldwide Conference, IABC Communications Camp, and Rock the World. Michelle’s client base is across the country, with several clients in Los Angeles, New York, and the Baltimore/Washington, DC area. Michelle draws upon ten years’ experience performing as a professional actor in New York City and her experience working as a development associate in Hollywood. Michelle has worked closely with Hollywood screenwriters to develop their screenplays and movie pitches at The Gersh Talent & Literary Agency and at production companies such as Paramount Pictures, Universal Pictures, and MGM. Michelle is dedicated to creating videos that engage, have impact, and move an audience to action. When her clients share their brand story with confidence, a game-changing shift occurs. They have greater influence and reach and become the sought out expert. Seeing her clients experience this shift and the increased business growth and opportunities that result is the greatest reward of her work.
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“Video has become the silver bullet for boosting brand awareness and audience engagement. Video is as close to face-to-face contact as you can get, allowing you to build a greater emotional connection with your audience than you can with text alone.”
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You have made a name for yourself in video can you tell me about the role you see video playing in the future for businesses of all sizes?
Video has caught on in businesses both large and small because it generates interest and buzz, builds the know, like, and trust factor; and even converts sales while you sleep. And this is important if you want to quickly get the decision maker’s attention and stand out from the crowd. Video has become the silver bullet for boosting brand awareness and audience engagement. Video is as close to face-to-face contact as you can get, allowing you to build a greater emotional connection with your audience than you can with text alone. Several studies have shown the power of video:
• Prospects are 72% likelier to buy your products and services when video is used (Wharton School of Business) Cover Story: Michelle Lange - Lights, Camera, Action! •
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• 59% of senior executives would rather watch a video than read text (Forbes Insight) • Videos are 53 times more likely than text to get a first page Google ranking (Forrester) • Video decreases the time it takes a viewer to reach a buying decision by 70% (Wharton School of Business)
Companies that win the online marketing game use videos – from Zappos, to Target, to Samsung. It can be a game changer for your business IF you know how to create compelling content and leverage your videos across multiple platforms. A video can’t just sit on your website – you’ve got to be strategic in where you post it, how you position it, and how you use tools to search engine optimize it. One savvy client of ours released a business movie trailer we created for her on Super Bowl Sunday. She wrote a creative post stating that even entrepreneurs have Super Bowl commercials, and she encouraged people to watch her video. The result: She got 989 likes, 199 shares, and 23,000 views!
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What were you doing before you founded M Lange Media and what was the tipping point for you to cross over from your old career to your new one? When I was a kid I was enamored with the movie Grease. I used to direct friends in reenactments of the movie at recess and after school. Producing, acting, and directing were in my DNA. I pursued a career in theater in NYC all through my 20’s and then realized ten years later that I’d rather be behind the camera than in
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the spotlight. I loved to develop characters, watch actors do their work, and work with the written word. I decided to pursue a career in feature film producing and development in Hollywood. I worked with Hollywood screenwriters to develop their screenplays and movie pitches at The Gersh Talent & Literary Agency, and at production companies at Paramount Pictures, Universal Pictures, and MGM. I loved the creative aspects of this work, but I began to get restless. I wanted to be on my feet making content and directing, writing, and producing. I didn’t want spend years climbing up the food chain in a production office, with my entire career depending on someone to promote me or a studio to green light my film. I dreamed of doing projects I was passionate about, where I could do all the roles I loved – directing, writing, and producing – but it seemed like a challenge to bring the pieces together. So I tried leaving the creative field all together. I went to a first year of a graduate program in psychology and then to coaching school. Then I fell into doing marketing for small businesses. It wasn’t until a mentor invited me to a class on Video for Entrepreneurs that the light bulb went off. In this class, the On Camera Coach worked with us on our messaging, sound bites, and on-camera delivery. It was great fun and the perfect integration of all of my interests. I knew I had found my niche.
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What are some of the top tips you can give for people who are considering whether to incorporate video - either to their websites or specific campaigns? My first tip is to hire the best team you can afford. As a client, your focus needs to be on your message and delivery – not on being the producer/director/ technician for your videos. A professional video team is worth their weight in gold. They are the architects Cover Story: Michelle Lange - Lights, Camera, Action! •
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of your video – from the set design, to the shooting, to the titles, graphics and music. It truly is an art form and a craft, and the good video production teams come at an investment. The industry baseline price point for professional video starts at $1,000 per video minute, and it goes up from there. When you think of the statistics on the benefits of the video, if you hire the right team, you will get a return on your investment many fold. As they say, “the devil is in the details.” If it were easy to just go out and get a young shooter and producer who can create beautiful videos at a bargain price, all the production companies would be doing it. But the truth is, like any profession, producing, filming, and editing is a craft and a profession. For a professional video shoot, I suggest investing in an experienced professional team who knows their craft and has a proven track record of delivering results to many happy clients. Another tip is to make sure you have the time available in your schedule for the project. There are many stages to creating a
compelling video, from the content planning and development phase, to the pre-shoot planning, to the shoot day, to the postproduction process. At our company we always allow a minimum of 60 days to complete a project from inception to completion. This may vary based on the scope of project but this is the average cycle of a video project.
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Can you differentiate on when is appropriate to DIY versus when it’s time to hire a pro?
Here are some guidelines for when it is best to go professional... 1) When you are creating a high-visibility video that will be shared with the public and you want to convey a professional brand, such as on the company website, in an online publication, at a trade show, on a big screen at a company event, or in a marketing or product launch. 2) When you are making a video about a complex subject that requires in-depth research, content development, and multiple interviews. This can require several hours of work, and hiring a team to handle it for you will free up valuable time. 3) Videos with complex visuals that require a professional team to execute it, such as highly cinematic pieces. The business movie trailer, a video we often produce at my company, can take up to 125 hours of collective team effort to create. It’s like making a mini movie. With a production like this, it’s best that the business owner leave it to the professionals so they can focus on what they do best. 4) Training videos for a high priced program where your clients Cover Story: Michelle Lange - Lights, Camera, Action! •
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have made an investment and you want to deliver a product that looks professional. 5) A video you use to pitch yourself to the media or for a speaking engagement. 6) A press release video that will go out to the media outlets about a big benchmark in your business. You want to put your best foot forward, as the press release will be seen by media insiders and decision makers.
It’s best to create do-it-yourself videos... 1) When the video is used in an informal capacity such as in vlogs. Vlogs are videos where the subject speaks directly into the camera on a topic, just as they would if they were writing a blog article. 2) When releasing tips videos on social media. In social media, you can be more informal. However, keep in mind the brand image you are communicating at all times. Even if it’s Do It Yourself, make sure you look presentable and that the environment you film yourself in is reflective of your brand style (avoid showing a messy background or an unattractive environment!).
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How do you handle clients who know they need to embrace video but are selfconscious about their image, weight or simply being “exposed”?
It is normal to be self conscious about your image on camera no matter what your weight is or how beautiful you are. HD technology delivers laser sharp images, and those images don’t hide a single flaw. 24 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Here’s the truth about video... There is never a perfect time to make video, just as there’s never a perfect time to lose weight, get pregnant, or break up with a bad boyfriend. I encourage my clients to take the focus off of them and put it onto their audience – what does their audience need to hear? What message do they want to share with them? I also remind my clients that their audience won’t hire them because they are super models – they will hire them because they feel a personal connection to them and value the service or product they provide. I have also found that having a make up artist on set helps my clients look and feel their best. A simple technique like airbrushing can make your skin look flawless. When you feel good about the way you look, you’ll be more confident on camera. I also do exercises with my clients to connect them to the part of themselves that is relaxed and confident. We all know what it feels like to be completely relaxed and at ease with ourselves (we often feel this when we are with our best friend or significant other). I use Cover Story: Michelle Lange - Lights, Camera, Action! •
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specific exercises to help my clients access this state when they are in front of the camera.
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What is your view on scripting versus talking points for video?
I don’t recommend memorizing a script word for word – it will come out unnaturally. I do suggest being very familiar with your content and knowing your talking points so the words come effortlessly When you create your talking points, be sure to begin with the end in mind and ask yourself what you want to achieve in your video, where you want to lead the audience, and what action you want them to take. When I work with clients, we write and develop a full video script, as it helps to give the client a blueprint of their brand message, even if they don’t use those exact words in the video. By reading through the script many times and saying the words out loud, your subconscious mind absorbs the material. I next ask my clients to prepare their bulletized talking points based on the script we created and to know their major talking points. I find at the end of this process, if the client has done their homework, they will have a clear idea of what to say and a roadmap to get there.
“Companies have caught on to how important video is, and many major brands now have in-house production companies. I expect that in a few years from now, not having a video will be like not having a website or a Facebook page.”
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Anything else you want to say or highlight about video in the current business landscape.
Statistics have shown that video is instrumental for creating brand recognition and converting prospects to clients. I recommend that all business owners who are serious about growing their business set aside an annual budget for video. If you are concerned about the investment, ask yourself what a single client is worth to you, then figure out how many clients you’d need to acquire to get a return on your video investment. If it’s doable to acquire the amount of clients that would cover the cost of your video in 90 days, then it’s definitely a worthwhile investment. Companies have caught on to how important video is, and many major brands now have in-house production companies. I expect Cover Story: Michelle Lange - Lights, Camera, Action! •
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that in a few years from now, not having a video will be like not having a website or a Facebook page. I take it seriously and have allocated most of my marketing budget this year to video.
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If someone wants to work with you, how can they access your services and is it possible for you to work remotely?
If someone is interested in working with me, they can contact our company at
info@mlangemedia.com
and we can arrange a discovery call. We approach videos strategically and from a marketing perspective, so we like to find out what your most important marketing goals are and from there we can recommend the video(s) that would help you best meet that goal. Our company is a full service. We do content development, brand messaging, writing, video production, on-camera coaching, and video marketing strategy. We work with clients remotely and in person across the United States, and as of 2014, we work with clients internationally. When our clients expand beyond their comfort zone and make a video, a game-changing shift occurs. They step into their expertise on camera, and their confidence and influence increases. Their audience starts to take notice and they become the sought out expert. Seeing my clients experience this shift in visibility, confidence, and the increased business that results is the greatest reward of my work.
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Visit www.mlangemedia.com to enquire about services, check out video samples, and to sign up for free video marketig tips!
Cover Story: Michelle Lange - Lights, Camera, Action! •
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Business & Tech Tips
What a Nine Year Old & NBC’s The Voice
Taught Me About Vulnerability
Learning to get comfortable with being naked; being vulnerable; being true to who you really are, can be tough, but there is a way to do it... FIND ME ONLINE HERE
By Andrea Sullenger 30 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Over the last few months I have become more aware of
the life lessons my nine year old continues to teach me. Some are maybe anticipated and simple while others knock the wind out of me and make me take long hard looks in the mirror. Learning to be true to oneself means learning to be vulnerable, and that can be hard. It can be a life long lessons one tries to master. Watching my kids play, especially the nine year old, I observe on any regular day the gift that kids posses that we adults somehow lose—or maybe a better word is bury—as we get older. For many of us we somehow came to the conclusion that to be successful meant we had to let go of the playful and silly side of who we are. Or how about to be productive we had to work hard verses working smart. Or try this one on, we came to the decision that in order to be viewed as professional and educated, we had to behave, dress, speak and write in a certain manner that was accepted by others.
“When did you get so educated that you got yourself caught up in pretending— for other’s sake and approval—to be something that you may not be?” The greatest thing about young kids is that they
haven’t fallen into the trap of these mindsets and pseudo beliefs about success, education, professionalism or what ‘educated’ looks and sounds like. Instead they simply show up. They offer ideas, play, and make everything fun. They call it a successful day when they have contributed in any way. They dress how they feel and in styles that make them feel confident. They don’t censor their language or craft their responses into “acceptable” words. They allow themselves to be creative and not to base their ideas on what has already been done or accomplished thus far. They don’t sit in a place of comparison. They enjoy the process. The soak in the What...Taught Me About Vulnerability •
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learning as they create. They leave it all “on the filed”, they aren’t laying awake at night analyzing their every move or plotting out the next day and how to be bigger or better. From where I sit, the benefits and gifts they give themselves is the respect of knowing that what they have is unique and when they show up, it is enough. When they play and make it fun it is enough. When they contribute it is enough. They have an unconscious awareness that they can be true to whomever they are and it will work out. Now I know if you have read this far you are probably saying, “Yep, but that is what kids do. That’s okay for kids but not adults. We have to be serious and we have important things to do.” And at this point I would ask you, “really? Is that really true?” At what point did you stop playing, having fun, doing it your own way? At what point did you get serious? When did you get so educated that you got yourself caught up in pretending—for others sake and approval—to be something that you may not be? Or maybe something that literally is not even close to who you really are? Is this pretending and facade actually serving you? I have no idea, maybe it is. Maybe it is serving you in your big important career but in actuality and true honesty there is no way that it serves you in other areas of your life, and my guess is that if you were really true to who you are your career success would exponentially grow also.
Examine it. Ask yourself some hard questions. Be honest. It’s just you and the mirror. I used to believe that because I was authentic with what I shared, wrote, spoke or how I worked with clients that this somehow meant I was also vulnerable. What a joke. What a lie I was telling myself.
I am sure out of what I was calling “self-protection”, but who are we kidding. It wasn’t protecting me or anyone else. It wasn’t protecting me from my best, deepest work, my success, and it sure wasn’t protecting my clients or my message. When we don’t or can’t, which really is a choice, go to a place of pure vulnerability and also to the place of the acceptance of the vulnerable places that we offer up to the world, it really isn’t true authenticity. It isn’t really who we are. It isn’t the best we’ve got. It isn’t what others need from us. For me, the realization of the power behind becoming vulnerable was enough to make me say yes to the daily choice I have in choosing to work from a place of vulnerability. Once you realize that it sets you free and that you have already won by choosing vulnerability you thirst for it. It doesn’t mean it is easy, but you long to be in that space each day.
Another big realization for me came from watching The Voice. I love the talent, I
love the judges, but what I love the most are the stories that come before the performances. I am in love with hearing, seeing and feeling others vulnerability. Some go deeper than others on that part of the show and when they do I always find myself rooting for them even harder... even if their talent is less than it could be. One night it hit me, the reason it was resonating with me so deeply was the true nature of it was from a place of vulnerability. I have a friend that has tried out before for the show and according to her the paces and ridiculous auditions that you are put through to even get to be on the live show as a blind audition is tough. When I heard that, it made me think, “well then all these talented people know what they got. They have a shot to prove and show off their amazing talents. They What...Taught Me About Vulnerability •
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know they are made for greatness.” But you know what comes out as they tell their stories, all of their fears, insecurities, failings, their mess ups, their longings and dreams. It was at that moment it hit me...we are uniquely all the same. So what the hell are we doing working so hard pretending to be what we aren’t or what we think others need us to be. STOP doing that, it serves no purpose other than to divert you away from your greatness.
“Everyone is in such a rush, including me, I remind myself to keep it slow. Working at a slower pace allows me to be reflective and to process what and why I am doing something.” It sounds nice so far doesn’t it? The question is, so how do you do it. How do you practice vulnerability daily? How do you allow yourself to just be you and know that it is enough?
Here are the 4 steps I practice each day to try to keep myself true to me, authentically me, and on my true path.
1 2
I connect with self & my creator, for me that is God. Before I even roll out of bed, I simply have an internal conversation with myself reminding me of who I am, what my gifts are, how I will show up in the world and to ask for divine clarity, wisdom and favor.
I slow it down. Everyone is in such a rush, including me, I remind myself to keep it slow. Working at a slower pace allows me to be reflective and to process what and why I am doing something. It allows me to ask why do I want to take on that client or that project? Is it for me, is it true and supportive of the path I want to be on or am I inclined to say yes
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because it looks good, sounds good, and feels like that is what I am supposed to do. The simple way I remind myself to slow down is with a sticky note that says just that. It is on my desk right next to me at all times.
3
! N OW
D W O L S
Make it fun! Enjoy the process. I work on listening to my body and mind and when I need a break I take one. I try to make it fun. I go for a walk with my dogs, I grab kids play-dough and play for 20 min. randomly with no intention or purpose. I paint. I just do something to get me back to centre...back to a creative being rather than a producing being.
4
I challenge myself to be brave each week in someway with vulnerability. Share a little more, write a response that is vulnerable rather than “professional, I go after a new project or client that scares the sheets outta me. When I am scared, I know I am being vulnerable and honoring that feeling I know I will work hard to show up in a very present way.
Is being vulnerable worth it? YES! YES! YES! Is it easy? NO! NO! NO! You can do it and I challenge you to think of one area of your life that you are pretending in and see what you can let go of and how you can show up differently this month.
What...Taught Me About Vulnerability •
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Embody Your Sexy Geek Quick Techie Tips to Let Your Sexy Geek Shine
Embrace the Error Pages of Your Ways: How to make a bad thing good with inventive error pages
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By Katie Geddes 36 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
There’s Something About Being Bad I love sharing things with you that help make your business shine and also make you smile. I believe this is one such thing. Ever thought about customizing your website’s error pages? No? Well, think about it, sistah and brotha. So much nicer than a dull unformatted text error page. Make your site stand out with your own custom “404 Not Found” and other error pages. Look how cute they can be. (See examples overleaf). I’m an animal lover. But they don’t have to feature animals. Get inventive.
There are so many outstanding things you can do with this. What a great way to give your audience an unexpected smile. Every encounter someone has with your site gives them a taste of who and what you and your business are. Have fun with this. Plus, you turn a “bad” situation into a fun one by making the run into a “bad” page a fun and unexpected experience. It’s been proven that when you “interrupt” the expected circuits of people’s brains, you have a big effect. And people won’t “expect” to see a fun page with this normally mundane encounter. People will get a great impression of you this way. So go for it. Embody Your Sexy Geek: Embrace the Error Pages of Your Ways •
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The Low Down
To get your own great-looking error pages going, here’s what you do: go to your website’s control panel (not your WordPress admin area if you use WP) and you’ll see an option to edit error pages. Then just enter the necessary html and voila. If you have a Wordpress site, you’ll still have a control panel with your web host. It’s smart to get to know your options.
There are 5 most common error pages. These are: 400 - Bad Request
401 - Unauthorized 403 - Forbidden 404 - Not Found
500 - Internal Server Error
Interestingly, 500 is by far the most often encountered. I feel most people think of the 404 Page Not Found error as common, but 500 Server Error is by far more often come across. So if you want to only make one or two, go for those two. The others are bonuses. Take the opportunity to give visitors who stumble into unexpected terrain on your site the chance to see your personality shine. People will get a great impression of you this way. Plus you’ll crack yourself up. That’s fun. 38 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
You don’t have to be funny, though. Take whatever slant piques your fancy. You can be poetic and include poetry, musical and include a song (but please don’t play sound automatically because people look at sites at work and that can be a big turnoff), tell a secret, offer a link somewhere nowhere else on your site leads.
What About Yours?
What can you do to create an unexpectedly fun error page? Show me your swanky custom error pages. I want to see. I’ll pick my three favorite examples and highlight them on my blog with a shout out to your biz. Deadline for consideration is June 11, 2014. Write me at sexygeek@embodyart.org
Create a suite of custom error pages that go with your own style and brand. Make sure you include the same page structure as the rest of your site so visitors can easily navigate back. Include your sitewide menu and your opt-in.
Lovin’ Bytes,
Katie Geddes
Embody Your Sexy Geek: Embrace the Error Pages of Your Ways •
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Katie Geddes can be found geeking it up at Embodyart.org, where she uses “authentic advertising” to design thriving, playful businesses for spiritual entrepreneurs. Katie’ll show you how to profit from your passion. E-mail Katie at sexygeek@ embodyart.org to say hi, ask a question, sing a song or apply for a FREE discovery session that’s worth a friggin’ fortune.
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Career & Learning
Stay or Go? When to Call Time on a Miserable Job
The decision about whether it’s time to call it quits from a frustrating job or career situation is often a difficult one to fathom out. If you’re like many mid-career professionals who have hit that hard place (and you may have been here before), the answer is not always clear-cut.
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By Sandra Cunningham 44 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Some days you’re ready to storm out of the office soap opera-style. Other days, things seem largely more tolerable, at least for the time being. And meanwhile the quiet, nagging questions remain: Is it time to call it quits? Or should you stay and make it work? Well, m’dear, keep on asking these questions, rack your brain, weigh up the pro’s and cons, and I guarantee you’ll continue flipping and flopping until you’re driven virtually insane. The brain is an amazing little trickster – it can convince us that just about any course of action is viable. It’s mental torture. And not at all helpful. So to help you with your choice, I invite you to take a deeper look into your situation. It might just help you find some new answers. Here are three great questions to help you self-coach your way out of the gridlock and get you to the truth about what’s right for you.
1. Are you heading for long term, future fulfilment? When reinventing my career as a coach, I paid the bills by doing some low-ish level, uninspiring, interim marketing roles. Despite the passion I felt for my new venture, it really pained me at times to see my former career path taking such a nose dive. All too often I’d find myself frustrated and overly pre-occupied with those soulsucking assignments, even though I had taken them for merely tactical reasons. When to Call Time on a Miserable Job •
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Eventually I realised I was experiencing what every person going through career change will know to be true: I hadn’t fully let go of my previous career identity. Furthermore the pain and discomfort of transition was blinding me from having a more healthy, balanced and realistic view of my situation. What about you? Take a look back at the reasons why you originally chose your current job. Are they still valid? What is this job giving you, that is worth the investment of your time, energy and talent? In what ways is it helping you move forward? Are the frustrations that significant, when weighed against your longer term aspirations? What do you need to let go of in order to create space for the next phase of your career to materialise?
Getting things into perspective helps a lot sometimes.
But let’s be honest, if your current situation serves no real purpose and it’s eating you up, then it might be a good time to re-think your direction of travel.
2. What is your body telling you? Physical reactions – migraines, insomnia, repeated colds, even shingles – are among the best indicators that an unhappy job is taking its toll and we’re out of control. If you’re feeling anxious about your career, then your body can help you figure things out. Start by taking an inventory of your general physical state. Where do you hold your tension? Be it a stiff neck, rounded shoulders, or a sunken, withdrawn chest, most of us have an habitual holding pattern designed to protect us from harm, but which also consumes a lot of our energy and flow. Sadly, when allowed to continue, this ends up robbing us of our life-force and can prevent us from experiencing real joy and satisfaction in almost every aspect of our lives. Now this may be nothing that a good walk, 46 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
a chat with a friend, or an hour of massage can’t sort out, but wouldn’t prevention be a far better option?
“Many people stay a very long time in a bad situation because they haven’t yet figured out what else they can, or want to do with their lives. They often feel trapped, but the longer they stay put without the situation improving, the harder it is for them to remain positive or move on.” Next time you tense up, take note. Do you feel nervous when walking into your office building? How’s your concentration; are you productive? Are you like a bear with a sore head when your over-talkative, elderly mother is just being herself? Consider what triggers the reaction each time you spot it happening. Then dig deeper to try and identify its root cause: what is the thought or belief you hold that is being challenged – or highlighted – here? Take time to reflect on this thought or belief. How does it affect the way you experience your situation? Is there anything you can do to change either your belief or the situation? If the answer is ‘yes’, then you have something to work with. And it may not be time to bail. But if not, and deep down you know you’re a heart-attack-waiting-to-happen, then quitting your job is possibly the healthiest thing you can do.
3. What kind of work would make your heart sing? Many people stay a very long time in a bad situation because they haven’t yet figured out what else they can, or want to do with When to Call Time on a Miserable Job •
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their lives. They often feel trapped, but the longer they stay put without the situation improving, the harder it is for them to remain positive or move on. It always helps to have an idea about what you want next in your career and to feel good about it – genuinely. Nobody wants a disappointed and resentful employee working in their organisation. If you do tip over the edge and start a new job search, believe me, your true emotions will be very hard to disguise. If only from a very practical point of view, you want to be seen to be moving toward a new opportunity rather than away from a negative experience. And isn’t that a lot more motivating and worthwhile than feeling frustrated and stuck?
So, before you make any hard and fast decisions, and before you feel pushed to call it quits, invest some time and effort into ‘YOU’. What really makes you tick? Take the lessons you’ve learned at your current job about what does and doesn’t work for you, and turn them into a set of positive preferences. What are you really good at? What do you like to do outside of work? What did you dream about doing as a child, but had all that ‘nonsense’ knocked out of you in later years? Once you have some ideas, don’t delay in taking action. From action, more ideas and solutions are guaranteed to emerge. Try to make a little progress each day – calling someone who works for a company you’re interested in, reading about a new field or joining a professional association. Do it gradually. And stick with it. Don’t imagine that you have to decide now and make an immediate, gigantic leap into your next job – this is one of the biggest causes of inertia and seldom works, especially if the desired change is significant, yet still unclear. You may even find 48 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
that your next job is sitting right under your nose and you don’t need to go anywhere. By giving yourself permission to start exploring the different options available to you, you’re likely to discover that the question is no longer about whether to stay or leave; it’s really a question of ‘what you will do’ and ‘when’!
Make resigning a smart choice, NOT a desperate one Finally, for most of us, there comes a time when we’re forced to face what we’ve really known for some time – that we’ve been flogging a dead horse for far too long and it’s time to take more positive steps. Remember, you don’t have to move on straight away – you can make up your mind that whether you stay or leave, you’re in control. Set a goal or deadline that takes into account your short term needs, savings, level of dissatisfaction and any other relevant factors.
But whatever you do, make up your mind that resigning will be the smart choice, not a desperate one.
When to Call Time on a Miserable Job •
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“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.” Mark Twain
Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com •
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Presenting,
Facilitation & Learning Recently I’ve embarked on ‘recruiting’ internal people who want to become skilled in facilitation. My budget is limited, our learning needs varied, and my time is spread across projects. For me, it’s about making the best of what we already have. Why do I need to select an external consultant to deliver our learning needs, when we have people fully capable and willing to do it themselves?
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By Sukh Pabial 52 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Before Christmas, I asked Sheridan Webb to help produce a complete set of bespoke learning materials that could be used for this purpose. When I say she did a stellar job, this is not me just being kind. We had everything designed from workbooks to games and exercises to facilitator notes to the slide pack and all formatted brilliantly. This saved me a lot of time and was well worth the investment. We’ll be using these materials many times over, and more importantly they’re accessible for anyone to pick up and run with the material if they so desire. That was the first step. The second was working with the group in developing their facilitation skills which we spent two days doing. I love doing ‘train the trainer’ learning sessions as they really allow you to see the potential of what could be.
Recently we’ve been co-facilitating these learning sessions, and I’m reminded of some core things which I forget. As much as delivering a training session is about the learning achieved by the people attending, it’s very much dependent on the skills of the facilitator. One of these skills is about presenting. Regardless the length of the learning session, there is always an element of presenting. You have to talk to the group about something to help them stir their brains. What I’ve been reminded of is that it’s not enough to just
“In the early days it was about how to invite a discussion from a group. That progressed to seeking input from a group about what they want to achieve.”
Presenting, Fascilitation & Learning •
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be able to present, you have to know the topic enough to have the confidence to present. I’ve been caught out on this many a time, and it’s my own undoing. I believe that because I can facilitate a discussion well enough, I can get away with not presenting the information well enough. This is, of course, nonsense. How can I expect to facilitate a discussion based on bare facts and little substance? More fool me. When I know what I have to present, I am clear, I have purpose, and I create discussion. When I don’t know, I skirt over the important stuff, rely on the group to carry out an exercise, and try to get out of it by entrusting the group with the power to discuss.
Then comes the art of facilitation. Oh man I am still
such a novice in this, as much as I love it. One of the earliest pieces of feedback I had when I started in this game was how I engaged the group and built rapport with them all. That’s stuck with me ever since. When reflecting on it, it’s because I really enjoy being able to capture a mood, and shift it progressively. It’s pretty special when it happens, and I enjoy learning more about this skill to do that. In the early days it was about how to invite a discussion from a group. That progressed to seeking input from a group about what they want to achieve. At the same time I was learning about how to design a development workshop to bring people together. 54 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Then I started to learn models and theories that help build teams and build self awareness. Until I started to learn about facilitation techniques such as Open Space, World Cafe and Unconferences, I thought I was doing pretty good at inviting response. Then I learned a whole new dimension of discussion and dialogue and how potent it can be. I pride myself on being a facilitator. What I enjoy is being part of the group. For me, by being part of the group, they see that I am sharing my power with them. I may be the one initiating the discussion or exercise, but I’m by no means the leader. That’s a power I share with the people present. I do that by being in their space. The only space I may choose to exercise as my own is when I use a flipchart or other aid or prop of some kind. Otherwise, I’m in with the group. I’m standing around people, behind people, sitting away from them, talking out of the circle, calling people out, moving between them – I don’t follow rules. I break them. And by doing that I’m showing that everyone has just as much valued input as whatever I may bring to the party. How do I know it’s working? When they’re doing all the hard work of dialogue themselves. I just step in when I get the sense that something isn’t as it should be and requires some facilitation.
This form of internal learning is fab. It’s not a new engagement technique, and I’m certainly not unique in doing so. It’s offering some top moments of reflection and learning. If that continues for me, then I’m fairly sure it will help me keep on top of the learning I help enable in my organisation. Presenting, Fascilitation & Learning •
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56 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Digital Blessings by Ann Pissard
Positively Emotionally Mindful •
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Faith & Self Help
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Self Help for People Who Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead Doing Self Help
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Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com •
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Passion
Lately I have spent a lot of time talking to God, crying out to Him at times, journalling, praying and asking for clarity and wisdom for the passions of my heart and what He wants to do with them. I watch,
listen to, and read books from some of the most gifted Christian women who give speeches, teach sermons, and write about igniting our passions for the Kingdom of God. I think a common ground all of humanity has is the fact we deeply believe we serve a purpose on this earth. For Christians, our purpose is to make the name of Jesus great by obediently moving into action as we are sent, by our sending Savior. Our purpose is surrender - to die to our flesh daily and to walk in the Spirit of love, truth, and righteousness.
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By Katie Clifton 60 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
“We define passion as an emotion that is barely controllable; it’s an emotion that exceeds enthusiasm. In Greek, passion translates to the meaning “to suffer”. The suffering of Christ...” Our lives are filled with passion for things: family, career,
hobbies, money, vacations, adventure, creativity, self expression, rights, liberties, global issues, God issues, and a multitude of other things that burn us from the inside and make us unable to be stagnant in this life. A passionate runner may spend hours training their body. A person passionate about orphans or sex trafficking may devote their entire existence to defending the defenceless. Someone who is passionate about success may spend countless hours working late, working with money managers to handle their investments, and devoting every ounce of energy to working their way up a ladder of status and title. We all devote our lives to the things we are most passionate about.
We define passion as an emotion that is barely
controllable; it’s an emotion that exceeds enthusiasm. In Greek, passion translates to the meaning “to suffer”. The suffering of Christ, found in the gospels, begins with the anointing of Jesus and ends on Golgotha where the Savior of the world hung on a criminal’s cross and died for the redemption of humanity. I love, love, love that God chose to use a woman in the story of Jesus’ passion: “One of the Pharisees asked him (Jesus) over for a meal. He went to the Pharisee’s house and sat down at the dinner table. Just then, a woman of the village, the town harlot, having learned that Jesus was a guest in the home of the Pharisee, came with a bottle of very expensive perfume and stood at his feet, weeping, raining Christian Columnist: Katie Clifton - Passion •
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tears on his feet. Letting her hair down, she dried his feet, kissed them, and anointed them with the perfume. (Luke 7:36-38 MSG) Do you know that the name Christ is a Greek word for the Hebrew Messiah, and that the title Messiah means “the anointed one”? Before you become uber impressed with my Hebrew and Greek, let me assure you that what has been weighing heavy on my heart was birthed through study and only because of the Holy Spirit.
How beautiful is the story of The Anointed One being anointed by this mystery woman? I read
this passage as an incredible love story; one full of passion. This harlot, this untouchable, unworthy sinful woman saw something in Jesus. Maybe she had an intuition that something big was about to happen. Maybe God had called her there, to anoint her Savior, and she was following in bold obedience. This perfume she lavished upon Jesus wasn’t the run of the mill stuff you can buy at a department store. This perfume was special, sacred and she was sacrificing it by pouring it out. This woman was full of bravery as she went, uninvited and unwelcome to the home of the Pharisee. She went outside of her comfort zone just to see Christ. I am not certain as to why she was so emotional and raining down tears. Maybe it was because the filth of her own sin had built up inside her. Maybe she was worn out from laying her body out for men to use. Maybe she could feel it deep in her gut, that the only way to salvation was to surrender and fall at His feet.
As this scene plays out in my mind I picture a broken
woman. I picture her coming humbly to His feet and just laying it all out before Him, as if to say “I am broken for you Jesus. Do you see this precious oil? You are the precious oil. I can feel it in my bones. I know you are going away and I just needed to be with you 62 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
and to feel you. There is something so special about you, Messiah. You don’t “He suffered push me away from your presence. You are allowing for you. His me to sit before you and passion was not just use some of my offering, but all that I have and is for to offer you willingly accept. you.” This jar of perfume is broken and poured for you. I just needed to touch you, to be near you. You see me, in all of my sin and you welcome me.” I don’t know about this unknown woman’s physical state, but emotionally she seems to be suffering. It was this suffering that gave her passion for Jesus. She needed Jesus whose whole aroma is love. The characteristic of genuine love is that it is freely given and the intensity of love is measured by the amount of suffering it bears. Jesus suffered out of love for the harlot. He suffered out of love for the woman at the well. He suffered for the religious and rebellious. He suffered for the outcast. He suffered for the sick and broken. He suffered for you. His passion was and is for you.
It wasn’t the nails that held Christ to the cross. It was you. It
was me. It was His love. What Christ did for us at Golgotha was the greatest example of passion humanity would ever know. After studying through this and wrestling with passion, I can’t help but think about the cries of my heart as I have asked for clarity Christian Columnist: Katie Clifton - Passion •
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and wisdom for the passions of my heart to be used for His glory. And yet what I have been asking for, without knowing, is for the suffering of my heart to be used for His glory. Passion comes with pain. Passion comes with a cost. He laid down His life for us - And we are called to lay our lives down for the purpose of His will. What could a generation of sold out, surrendered, passionate women do for the kingdom and glory of Jesus Christ? What would happen if we poured out ourselves fully at His feet? What would our lives look like? Our marriages? Our relationships? Our children?
These thoughts race through my mind and keep me awake some nights. There is about to be a revival. I
am literally crying as I write this, excited at the thought of what God could do in us and with us if we would only surrender. Precious friends who journey with me through the ramblings of my heart: He is asking for us to lay it all down and move to action with passion filled hearts.
Will you join me in praying for revival? Would you dare to pray for passion for Christ?
Amen x 64 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
By Joey Phelps & Michael Phelps Lil Nipper Snappers Cartoon •
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See You Later
Alligator
How to Detach Yourself From the Dream Crushers! Let’s face it. We’ve all got them in our lives. The naysayers. The dream-stealers. Those who never have a positive word to say about anything. Ever.
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By Gina Hussar 66 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Sure, they may be well meaning, and they may even claim that they only want to “protect you” or save you from something they fear will hurt you, but is their “concern” really warranted? Is it even valid? Most dreamers would respond with a resounding NO! After all, we are entrepreneurs, trailblazers, and we get fired up about new ideas and the endless possibilities for our lives. We love to explore new ways of being. We get excited about building relationships with other dreamers, and we’re inspired to push past the limitations that others just readily accept. So why do these negative types feel so compelled to harsh our mellow? (I’ve always wanted to say “harsh our mellow”). To answer that, we first need to understand the mindset of the limited thinker. In most cases, the limited thinker is a chronic worrier or complainer who has never attempted to change their lot in life—and they are determined to drag you down to their level because that is all they know. They find it hard (if not impossible) to be supportive of your bright ideas, big goals and bold thinking because they’ve never experienced these for themselves. The truth of the matter is that they simply lack the insight to see beyond their own struggles...but this does NOT have to become your problem!
Mark Twain had this to say about negative people:
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great.” See You Later Alligator •
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In order to move confidently towards your dreams, you need to create the space for positive change to occur. Being in relationships with toxic people and allowing their negative energy into your life will only hold you back from manifesting opportunities for your success. You can love them, you just can’t allow yourself to be swayed by them. Conversely, when you release these dream-stealers from your life, you open up a space for positive people to enter. These are the ones who support your vision and will encourage you to pursue your dreams.
Follow these steps to rid yourself of toxic
people.
Identify The Offenders Toxic people have a knack for bringing your energy down. They leave you doubting yourself and feeling drained. Learn to spot the difference between someone who is sharing their struggles (healthy) and someone who constantly complains (unhealthy). Those who are genuinely struggling are willing to listen to constructive feedback and are open to change. On the other hand, complainers have no desire to change and are not receptive to feedback. They simply want you to feel sorry for them. Toxic people delight in shooting down your ideas and questioning what you are trying to do. Usually they suffer from self-doubt, fear and insecurity—and they are simply projecting this on you. They love you, they worry about you, and their intentions aren’t malicious. Yet their very presence in your life can have a drastic effect on your success and perspective if you aren’t careful.
Let Them Go There are several ways to do this. You can choose to ignore their 68 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
calls or avoid being in places where you might bump into them. You don’t owe them an explanation for your behavior—unless you want to provide one. Usually, the negative person is not in the frame of mind to listen to what you have to say anyway, so save your breath, and your energy. When you do release them, do it with love. Tell them that you’d be willing to rekindle the relationship when they’re ready to be more positive and supportive. If a total release isn’t possible (the offender is your husband, mother, child etc.) simply build a force field of peace around yourself. Let them have their say, just don’t let it pass your force field. You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to. It is possible to send them love and compassion, being completely cognizant that their limited vision is part of their journey, and simply not absorb the limiting energy. Force fields activated!
Stand Up For Your Dreams You need to believe that you are worthy of achieving your goals— and becoming the person you want to be. Letting go of the naysayers will let you get there a lot faster. If you don’t let go of these relationships, you’ll be stuck in the same place, spinning your wheels and going nowhere. Ask yourself who in your life is supporting you and encouraging you. Spend as much time as you can with like-minded people. Hold on to your big vision and move forward with faith and courage.
Your dreams will meet you there! Gina Hussar is a Spiritual Success Coach. She specializes in Integrated Success, Inner Peace and Purpose Clarity. She is a certified Law of Attraction Practitioner and a Certified Reiki Healer. To learn more or to schedule a complimentary Strategy Session, visit www.30secondstopeace.com See You Later Alligator •
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Tory Burch $295
3 2 Tory Burch $350
3 Zara $59.90
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By Shalanda Turner Shasie’s Fashion Picks •
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Spring Detox
Your Skincare
It’s that time of year when our
thoughts turn to fresh foods, spending time outdoors and showing some skin! Spring is traditionally the time to lighten up and cleanse your body, after all the hearty, warming foods of winter (and hibernating under layers of clothing!) So it just feels right to lighten up our skincare as well. We want lighter creams and lotions, exfoliating scrubs (to reveal fresh skin) and deep cleansing masks to unclog our pores. FIND ME ONLINE HERE
By Amanda Cook 74 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
SpringSKINCARE Skincare Tips: SPRING TIPS:
1
Dry brush your skin before each bath or shower. Dry brushing exfoliates but also increases circulation, and feels fantastic! Always brush towards your heart.
2
Make a simple salt scrub to cleanse your body. Simply mix a handful of sea salt with a little olive oil in a bowl, scrub onto your damp body, and then rinse off.
3
Start moisturising regularly if you’re not already - especially rough areas like heels, knees and elbows to get ready for warmer weather!
4
Eat more green vegetables during the spring, to support your body’s natural cleansing process. (If it’s still cold where you live, stick to cooked green veggies. As the weather warms up, switch to salads!)
Here are some of our favorite natural spring detox products for your beauty routine... Blissoma Refine Clay Renewal Treatment
This naturally exfoliating treatment contains live enzymes from raw celery juice, combined with creamy Rhassoul clay to remove dead skin and deep clean. Plus, it smells divine.
Retail price is $30.99 Spring Detox Your Skincare •
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Herbfarmacy Dandelion & Burdock Extract You’ve probably heard that gorgeous skin starts from within, and this is one product that takes that approach seriously. This herbal extract works in conjunction with your skin cleansing routine to internally cleanse and purify your skin by supporting the liver and kidneys. It also supports good digestion and is an excellent general tonic for the whole body.
Retail price is £9.50
Tisserand Aromatherapy Detox Body and Bath Oil Give your legs a massage with this oil after a shower, and you can almost feel it working to eliminate cellulite and improve skin tone. Containing detoxifying essential oils like juniper, lemon and black pepper, these products are perfect to use in the morning, to keep you going all day.
Retail price is £8.50
76 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Smooshed in a middle seat in the deepest, darkest corner of Economy on a plane is a far cry from the golden age of travel.
natural
health & beauty.
I love to travel. I hate flying. It’s a problem. (Especially living an ocean away from my family!). Part of my hatred is because I still can’t believe that planes can fly, and am convinced we’re going to crash at the slightest turbulence. The other part of my hatred is because of the hassle of airports, security, endless waits, delays, expenses and the fact that I always seem to catch a cold from a long flight! Why do we seem to catch a cold on a plane flight? Two reasons: dry air, and lots of people in a confined space. At high altitudes, the air doesn’t have as much moisture in it, which dries out your respiratory system and makes it more susceptible to germs.
What can you do to stay healthy while flying? As a last touch, being the product junkie that I am, I now bring a homemade facial mist. In my less-green days I used an evian facial spray, or even more expensively, one of the fancy face spray products made for plane travel. But now I make my own. It’s super simple, you can customize the scent, and packs a double-punch of being antibacterial AND relaxing.
Find simple tips & recipes at VintageAmanda.com
Guest Beauty Editor: Lip Scrub Recipe •
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BETSEY JOHNSON’S Hot Fall/Winter 2014 Collection at Style Fashion
LA Fashion Week 2014 Los Angeles fashion rose to a whole new level last night at Style Fashion Week during LA Fashion Week 2014 with the epic collection of fashion icon Betsey Johnson held at the L.A. LIVE Event Deck.
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By Marina BerBeryan 78 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Los Angeles fashion rose to a whole new level last night at Style Fashion Week during LA Fashion Week 2014, with the epic collection of fashion icon Betsey Johnson held at the L.A. LIVE Event Deck. The legendary 71-year-old grandmother-of-two has been rocking the fashion industry with her unique and original designs since the 1960s. Her commitment to remain true to her one-of-a-kind vision has afforded Johnson continued success in an industry known for its fickleness. Bold yet playful “Hot” Womenswear Collection Fall/ Winter 2014 was inspired by the eighties-obsessed teenage girl, and all the rock chick celebrities such as Rihanna’s smokin’ style, Katy Perry, Gwen Stefani, Beyonce, and even the year’s sizzling film American Hustle. “It’s all about the clothes!”, Johnson said. Her sense of style is stronger than ever. Fashion shows are definitely a time for her to have a fun. Models walked down the runway with rock-chick attitude wearing sequined dresses, thigh-length stockings, fur coats paired with bold accessories and bright bags. The collection’s colour palette was indeed vibrant and playful, with colours of hot pink, lime green and canary yellow. As for the make up, false eyelashes, glittery lipstick and layers of eyeliner ruled the show. The backdrop of the stage displayed the bold tagline ‘Hot’, and never to disappoint, the show closed with semi-naked firemen out on the catwalk, followed by Johnsons’ signature post-show performance of the cartwheel routine and a split. “I love L.A.
Fashion Week…” she mentioned to LA Weekly. Guests and celebrities enjoyed specialty cocktails provided by Boulevard Nightlife Group, Style Fashion Week’s Bar and Nightlife Partner. The Sponsors of Style Fashion Week were Timezone, Millennium International Travel, Nespresso, official haircare sponsor FHI Heat, official makeup sponsor Starlooks Pro Cosmetics, Boulevard Nightlife Group, Beverly Hills Rent-A-Car, AIDS Heathcare Foundation, VoCe, Prive, Luevo, Puretergent, Millennium Biltmore Hotel Los Angeles, BNG, Hint Water, Diabolo, Neuro, Monster, La Marca Prosecco, Magnolia Bakery, SoyJoy, Speck, Arbonne, CLIF Bar, and Luna Bar. Media partners included WGSN, CA Apparel News, LA Fashion Magazine, Daily Front Row, and New York Fashion Times. My red carpet ‘Young and Chic’ look consisted of a hot pink short floral dress paired with a matching floral pink necklace.
To keep up with my style, lastest celebrity trends and runway fashions, be sure to follow me on...
Lifestyle & Wellness
Muscle, Motivation, and Mind Matters
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By Charlene SanJenko 82 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
“In order to find a more purposeful life you must let go of what society and people think of you and look inside yourself through some discipline—prayer, meditation—to find out what matters most to you and pursue it.” James Autry, poet and author, 73 Dr. John Izzo, Ph.D. defines wisdom as the capacity to discern what really matters and to incorporate it into your life. This sounds simple enough, but are we disciplined enough to go through the process? Spring is a fabulous and obvious time for new beginnings. Instead of jumping into the next session of boot camp, Crossfit, power yoga or a cleanse, just stop – STOP! Give yourself some space to figure out what you really want to create for yourself this year, the steps you are ready and willing to take to get there, who you need to help you get there, and how you will you stay focused and accountable. While recently working with a performance coaching client, she uncovered that for her, space creates clarity. “That’s great,” I said. “And what does clarity create?” She thought for a long moment and with a smile replied, “Confidence!”
Over and over again, we encourage you—in both
your lifestyle and their leadership goals—to start with actions that feel both doable and believable. If you can’t see yourself doing it five years from now, it’s likely not a lasting, successful lifestyle change. It’s not likely leading you to an overall more purposeful life. According to Dr. Izzo, we move toward what we hold in our awareness. I fully agree. So how do we keep your awareness where it needs to be? At PowHERhouse, we’ve found great success following this simple framework plus someone to hold you accountable to it: Muscle, Motivation, and Mind Matters •
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1. Clarity. What can you accomplish in 90 days that feels simple and sensible yet successful? 2. Drill down. What do you need to commit to this month in order to reach that goal? 3. Prioritize. What are your Top 3 priorities this week to ensure you will achieve your monthly goal? 4. Practice. What are your daily High 5’s, the action items you need to experience today in order to have your very best week and make your priorities a successful reality? 5. Peeps. Who are you accountable to? Who are you checking in with and asking for help from if and when needed?
There are two actions that fall out of these steps: 1. If successful, REPEAT. 2. If unsuccessful, drill down to doable.
One thing’s for certain, becoming your very best self, living in your healthiest, strongest and most energetic body, and enjoying your most purposeful and happy life is a process. This process is never-ending. It. Is. Life. It doesn’t happen by accident. We move toward what we hold in our awareness. PowHERful Living Explored is the name of our Practice. This Spring, we encourage you to begin your Practice, and we’re here to help in any way we can. 84 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Visit our website at powHERhouse.com and learn more about the intentional integration of building a stronger body and creating theIimpact wantnot in there your life. Julia : I think would you say I’m yet. However, IÕm an unÞnished product at all times; if I was Þnished, I would be dead. The problem with achievement is determining what to do next… for training tips, Visit Charlene SanJenko’s Youtube channel workouts you can do anywhere, and motivation videos to help you Suzanne : I think that of would be awesome! stay in your practice PowHERful living!
Shelly: I would smile and say "Thank You, I work at it!" About PowHERhouse We build HIP Women (HighImpact Performance). Our mission: Helping women build confidence, courage and capacity through the convergence of Lifestyle & Leadership. Study the latest PMP syllabus with Joseph Phillips, America’s foremost in PMI PMP Education. FREE bonus material including exam cheat sheets, one hour of video training and MORE! Buy Now On Amazon
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“If you mention taste nowadays, a lot of people will tell you that - Made in feels England “taste is subjective.” They believe this because it really that way to them. When they like something, they have no idea why. It could be because it’s beautiful, or because their mother had one, or because they saw a movie star with one in a magazine, or www.poshbrats.com because they know it’s expensive. Their thoughts are a tangle of unexamined impulses. “ - Paul Graham
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Why I Don’t Recommend
X
a Plain Water or Juice Fast!
Water and juice fasts to cleanse your body have become a huge hype recently. You read about them everywhere and one program seems crazier than the other. But I always wonder:
Have the people and magazines promoting these fasts really ever tried them? Well, I have. And you know what? I hated it!
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By Nathalie de Ahna 88 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
As a family and business manager, wife, dog owner and cargo bike taxi driver (that is how I take my kids to day care), I simply cannot live on water or tea alone, and also plain juice fasting just wasn’t enough for me to be able to function properly. I felt like I was starving myself and, honestly, when I am hungry all the time, I’m so not a nice person. However, the thing is we all should give our body a proper spring cleaning every now and then. Even with a reasonable lifestyle, we are surrounded by so many toxins in our food or household products, for example, that sooner or later our system will shut down if we do not get rid of the junk accumulating in our cells: we will feel old and tired, get sick way more often than we normally would, and won’t enjoy life as much as we could, plus our skin will look gray, dull and blemished, Constantly having to fight cravings is also not the most fun way to spend your day.
“...if you do not actually change your diet sustainably, you will end up with more pounds on your hips than you were trying to get rid of before you decided torturing yourself with a (juice) fast.”
As an orthomolecular nutritionist I specialize in healing and preventing disease through natural supplements and superfoods. Whenever I read something about the latest detox trend, it really bugs me that there are so many cleanse fads promising you highspeed weight loss or insane detox results, but honestly: if you do not actually change your diet sustainably, you will end up with more Why I Don’t Recommend... •
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pounds on your hips than you were trying to get rid of before you decided torturing yourself with a (juice) fast. Also, drinking some fishy ready-made detox miracle juice full of crazy crap might actually weaken your system, instead of helping it regain its innate strength. Even if you prepare your juices yourself, they simply will not provide your body with sufficient nutrients or the roughage it needs to really scrub your bowels clean. You will feel hungry, your motivation takes off to detox nirvana, and your chances of dropping out, beating yourself up about it (and then comforting yourself with crappy food) will be sky-high.
To spare myself this misery, I’ve put together my own step-by-step detox guide. One that is actually fun and, above all, based on common sense. I have to say – if you want to kick start your health, consuming liquid food only for a couple of days is actually a good idea. This will give your intestines a break and flood your body with nutrients. To make sure you do not starve yourself, however, you simply consume green smoothies in addition to plain veggie juice. If you also pimp your juices with a little bit of fruit, you will get incredibly delicious ‘salads in a glass’. They are fun to make, will help you control your hunger and are a terrific way to start cleansing your body. During the first two days or so, you might feel some detox reactions (think headaches or dizziness) but these are part of the deal, 90 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
and once you’ve flushed the dirt causing these symptoms out of your system, you will be bursting with energy!
“There is no need for expensive retreats which will detox your bank account rather than your body, or specialists shoving tubes up your behind.”
After “smoothie fasting” for three days, I always want something to chew on again. I keep on juicing, but I add light meals plus a variety of superfoods to my diet. These provide me with all the strength I need to successfully juggle all my responsibilities and even leave me with sufficient power to work-out. Thanks to lots of plant-based protein, my metabolism is dancing salsa, and I do not only burn fat but also build muscles. After about a week, I usually start cooking again. It is still mainly alkalizing veggies, greens and extra superfoods on my menu but, really, this doesn’t even feel like a cleanse anymore. All in all, it takes about ten days for me to really kickstart my health and to make sure I stay on track, I just stick to a couple of simple detox routines. Easy peasy, right?
To cut a long story short No matter what trendy glossies or detox experts try to sell you – cleansing your body doesn’t have to be so hard. There is no need for expensive retreats which will detox your bank account rather than your body, or specialists shoving tubes up your behind. If you want to detox, you can do so on your own and all it takes is organic, high-quality ingredients, a little bit of know-how, a pinch Why I Don’t Recommend... •
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of mindfulness, some exercise, and plain common sense! Do you want some proof? I’ve been following my own step-by-step guide for about three to four times a year for a long time now, and despite two pregnancies and a really busy life, I look and feel way better than in my twenties. You know what? Last time I did a round of common sense detoxing my husband gave it a try, too, and he loved it so much that in the future we will always be detoxing together!
If you’d like to know more about my personal Supercharge Me detox program, click the link below.
“If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been.” Robert H. Schuller
Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com •
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What’s Your Story
We all have one, good bad or indifferent.
A life story with all of the plot twists and drama that map out everything, from childhood experiences to break ups, make ups and adult catastrophes. Our story recounts our highs and our lows, our moments of brilliance and the moments that it all went tits up, and hindsight allows us to add a smattering of exaggeration and a side order of ‘poor me’. We freely share chapters of our story with some people and not others, and there is often bonus material that may only ever be revealed to our very trusted friends and often over a glass or two of wine. But the thing is, from an energy perspective you are radiating this story energetically. We all carry within us a core signature vibration, this is made up of all of our experiences, beliefs, emotions and more. It is as unique as we are - an energetic fingerprint. This is FIND ME ONLINE HERE
By Kate Spencer 94 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
the vibration or energy that you are sending out into the universe, and according to quantum physics and new agers, it is magnetising back that which you are experiencing in your life through a phenomenon called Law of Attraction. Law of Attraction is based on the principle that all of our stuff is bundled together into a magnetic field, and that each individual frequency that we knowingly (or unknowingly) send out into the bigger picture, will draw in or magnetize a matching experience. Yes, it sounds woo woo, but how many times have you thought about getting a new particular brand of car, and suddenly you see the exact same car all over the place? Coincidence? Law of Attraction experts would say “not a chance”. They would say that your energy is focused on that nippy little number, and everything right down to the on board sat-nav and glacier white paint job is embedded in your energy system, and that you are sending it out there like bait to the universe to hook you up with the perfect catch (and match).
And it’s fun when it’s about cars, holidays or friends you haven’t seen in a while, but what if you are carrying around old stuff in your story that is unhelpful? It’s so common to hear stuff about healing your past and moving on, but in actual fact this is where it’s going to matter big time. If you are still carrying around chapters of your story that relate to failures, feeling less than great and generally pulling yourself down, then you are also carrying around that red flag to the universe to send you more similar stuff. You are “resonating” with pain, trauma and not feeling great, even if you don’t know it on a conscious level. Here’s the thing, if a record on the radio or the mention of a person or place can anchor you back to a moment when you feel rubbish, then you haven’t
I’m Ditching The Diets There are loads of brilliant books, coaches, and therapists who can healed and released it. So that means that there are still parts of you that are stuck in the story and will be not only drawing in similar experiences, but also stopping you from bringing in different and new opportunities.
help you to change your story about who you are, helping you to If you’d like to join Kate heal and reframe your past, and to get closure and move on. Not onmoment, her conscious weight only does this help you massively in the it also cleans you can up your energy vibration and sets you loss free journey from attracting more get of online. what you don’t want, helping you to bring ininvolved more of what you do.
If sthere chapters ofdyour feel This ummer Iare am going to ditch the iets and story think mthat yself tyou hinner, and change those nega>ve self-‐beliefs have do been holding you me back for far too uncomfortable aboutthat then what can long. know that my hIt’s eart good if I can really o this, and then tthe he rest will fall toI clean itin up! for dyou Law ofinto place for me, and that weight loss will be a natural side effect to loving myself Attraction will love you for it! and healing my past. Love Kate x
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About A Homemade Year
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Mystic Sisters Mystic Sisters Mellissa and Jayshree Mallaya are a household name in South Africa with a clientele of the who’s who from Hollywood to Bollywood. Mellissa followed her heart and now lives with her husband in London where she does Skype, telephone and 1:1 sessions (in addition to planning naughty book club meetings and girls pamper parties). As Seen In Cosmo Magazine!
Write In To Get Featured! Life Or Love Question? Book Your Consultation With Mellissa Phone: +44 7720748095 Or Email Her 98 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
FIND ME ONLINE HERE
By Mellissa Mallaya
Our emotions are so strong and amazing, that most of the time we are unaware of its capacity. It’s natural for us to journey through dense, deep and dark thoughts. When we realise it, we feel guilty and try to hide our feelings. Why? Now, by no means am I suggesting to run up and down the street like a lunatic and shout down everyone’s door. Realise how you are feeling. Take stock. We take note of the silliest things, sometimes giving cognisance to aspects that play no part significantly in the future. Yet we prefer to hide our emotions. Positive, good, bubbly emotions are just as easy to feel as negative emotions. Recently, there have been many people around me feeling empty, with a sense of misery, frustration and endless despair. Some have tried everything short of going to a Voodoo practitioner in South America. The question still remained. Why do I feel so distant from reality? I feel as though I am never going to meet with nor be with someone who fits perfectly into my life. Will I ever be happy? I have read self help books from here to Kathmandu and back, but I can’t connect? I’m on a journey but feel like I am not attracting anything positive? Sometimes we read the right books, listen to the right audio, and attend the right workshops. But the question therein is ‘is it right for me or just right according to the world?’ If you are not feeling emotionally switched on nor receptive, nothing would work. It would take you as far as you can throw a baby elephant. There has to be a time when you have to stop investing in self help books and start investing in yourself. Someone else’s man might seem perfect and you might feel cheated that your love Mystic Sisters •
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life is as flat as a white sheet, but that does not mean you are in a race to get there. It means you need to ready yourself for the correct and unique future and destiny that belongs to you. I know in theory it sounds hard. But realistically, if all you really wanted was a caring man, why have you put certain people in a friend zone and others God knows what zone you placed them in.
It is about you. Take charge. Focus on awakening that sexy, sultry, wild passion within you. If you are not happy to go out for coffee alone, why the hell would anyone want to go out for coffee/dinner/ movies with you. Get your positive energy going inside. Think of yourself as this fabulous tree trunk (I know it sounds completely unsexy), but if it’s not nurtured and loved now, it will not have healthy branches nor offerings in the future!
Good luck and shake that fabulous ass! 100 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
A
Hi darling, Many people keep their options open and so are you. He adores you but has become mentally lazy in this relationship. He won't walk away unless you do. I do see a new man in 2 years. Yes it is deceptive but mostly to yourself as the world sees you as an attached woman. You would never carry a dead horse about, why carry this? You are witty, loving, naughty and gorgeous. Get out there and seize the world!
How to Detox With Green Superfood Smoothies •
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104 • Hat Trick Magazine www.ninaricci.com
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www.bobbibrowncosmetics.com
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Food, Home & Family
Sweet
Potatoes One of the greatest foods of the South is sweet potatoes (not to be confused with yams). We get sweet potatoes from the farmers living around our town; a little town plopped down in the middle of a bean field. Our produce, if sold by the road, is truly fresh! Sweet potatoes in the south have become the vegetable de jour. Restaurants are now offering french fried sweet potatoes. Yep, we will fry anything, and much to my chagrin they are actually good. I still like baked sweet potatoes best, but I am willing to try new ideas.
By Tanya Jackson 104 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
For our lupper (that’s after lunch, but before supper) I made a salad on which I sprinkled julienned sweet potatoes. Very tasty and so nutritious. Uncooked sweet potatoes are off the charts with nutrients, but unfortunately you can’t get the flavor of the sweet potato in its raw form.
Method!
Ingredients « 1/2 sweet potato, peeled and julienned. « Seasonings
(I used a hot Creole seasoning. You can use a flavored seasoning or just salt and pepper if preferred)
Dip the sweet potatoes in water. Grab them in your hands and shake water off. Sprinkle with lots of seasoning. Put on plate and microwave for 30 seconds on high (this retains as many nutrients as possible, but lets the delicious flavor of the sweet potato through). • Toss on salad and enjoy! • • • •
’! in t a e d o o g ’s t a h t Now
Bad
Morals
Cherie began as a weekly columnist for the main local newspaper in her area. Her articles focus on a humorous look at married life with five children and the ups and downs we can all relate to. She has won 2 international short story contests as well as being published in Our Canada magazine. Cherie is a breast cancer survivor and a huge advocate of self-exams.
By Cherie DeBurger 106 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
Parenthood brings out the best in most people, they discover things about themselves they never knew they were capable of. They feel emotions stronger than they have ever experienced before. But every ying has its yang and so on the other hand parenthood can also bring out a side of us that isn’t so pretty. A side that does things that we are not proud of but find so powerful and unrelenting we continually remain at its mercy. Maybe this is where the term “Do as I say and not as I do” originated from. I have compiled a list of things that parents, who will remain nameless, have admitted to doing. Although these actions fall in the lower levels of the morality scale they don’t fall into the illegal categories, well most don’t.
If your child wants to do something and you really don’t feel like it a simple “NO” will only start a debate that could end in a full blown fall to the floor, screaming and kicking temper tantrum. No parent, or bystander for that matter, wants to have front row seats to that show so an easy fix is to tell them what they have asked to do is illegal, problem solved. Show me a parent and I will show you someone who has at one time or another tried breast milk to see what it tastes like.
Little white lies follow parents around everywhere. We have all been in the situation when it’s time to leave somewhere and the kid’s don’t want to go. Instead of grabbing and pulling on them as they cling with an indescribable strength to the leg of a chair or table we promise to come back soon even though we have no intention of ever returning. Bad Morals •
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Everyone wants to buy the best for their children. We all remember how much it meant to have the “cool” toys or the latest fad when we were growing up. I remember begging my mom for the jeans with a certain tag stitched onto the back pocket, all the “in” kids were wearing them. Did it matter to me that they were three times the price of the generic jeans sold at the local department store? No way! I recall the horror that filled my body when my mother suggested shopping at the second hand store. My mother had the last laugh when she fooled me by using the shopping bags from the brand name stores to put the knock off’s in as well as changing a couple tags and I was never the wiser.
“I found turning two pages instead of one was too big of a change in the story, and one of the kids would inform me that I had missed a page.”
Have you ever “lost” a soother or bottle because it is so much easier, not to mention quieter, then telling them they can’t have it anymore? Being a parent can be tiring, it seems like we are on the go from the moment we open our eyes in the wee hours of the morning. Even when the kids nap we use that time to catch up with things around the house like laundry, dishes or some tiding up. When the glorious bedtime hour arrives it seems that the parent is more tired then the child. There have been numerous times I have tried short cuts while reading the bedtime story. I found turning two pages instead of one was too big of a change in the story and one of the kids would inform me that I had missed a page. Some of the stories they knew so well that if I skipped sentences to speed up the reading time they would call me on it. Suddenly they had total recall but during the day couldn’t remember something as simple as shutting the fridge door! 108 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
As good parents we all watch what our kids eat, good balanced breakfasts give them the energy they need to start the day and do well in school. If I plan on being productive or even accomplish the thought process of stringing words together to make sentences I need coffee. In my world coffee contains my personal versions of the four major food groups, caffeine, dairy, sugar and caffeine. Have your kids ever asked for cookies for breakfast? Of course there is no way that a responsible parent would allow them such an unhealthy start to the day. That being said I admit to grabbing a chocolate bar after I put them on the bus for school. As I savor each bite and the chocolate melts in my mouth I think being a grown up does have its advantages.
While we’re on the topic of candy who hasn’t raided the Halloween candy collection? It took a couple years but my kids finally realized when Papa offered to check their candy he wasn’t just looking for danger but also for first pick of his favorites. Why do some children believe that hamsters or fish live for years and years? I wonder what the record is for how many “new versions” have been placed before the child finally discovered the truth?
Are you guilty of getting side tracked while playing hide and seek with your kids? How many of us have quickly checked our email while the kids are hunkered down somewhere only to be reminded what we are supposed to be doing when we hear “Are you comin’ Mom?” With all the electronics out today and the abundance of social media communication you would think talking to your child would Bad Morals •
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be easier and it is, only there is a little catch. You need to create a new identity and stalk your child over the internet to get more than the common “yes” or “I don’t know” answers that seem to be the extent of verbal exchange with teenagers these days.
Most parents think long and hard about what to name their child. Books are examined, family trees are researched and opinions are asked of our friends. Sometimes babies even start life without a name until one can finally be agreed on. With all that thought and consideration how is that we can totally forget that name, the name of our own child, in a split second while asking them to do something? Although we try our best as parents we must realize we are only human and that fact makes us fallible. We can find comfort in the knowledge that our parents did this to us and rest assured that our children will most likely carry on these less than honorable traits to their children as well. We understand our parents so much more now that we are parents ourselves and the same will happen with our kids. It’s the circle of life.
If you have any comments please feel free to email me at
lifes.moments@live.ca
110 • Hat Trick Magazine • hattrickstrategies.com
“Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best.� Theodore Isaac Rubin
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