Bulletin Board

John Kennedy At His Best

Here are some recent quotes from Louisiana Republican Senator John Kennedy:

I believe America was founded by geniuses but is now run by idiots.

I believe you can’t fix stupid but you can vote them out of office.

When was the last time you heard of anyone trying to sneak into China?

America is so great that people who hate it refuse to leave it.

Let me say something about the Biden Administration. So far, the Biden Administration sucks.

I don’t like to brag about the expensive places I’ve been to, but this morning I went to the gas station.

I believe exercise makes you look better naked, but so does alcohol.

Welfare should be a bridge, not a parking lot.

Weakness invites the wolves.

We must arm for peace.

We don’t have a gun control problem; we have an idiot problem.

Free advice friends: If government tells you not to buy a gun, buy two.

I believe love is the answer; but you should own a gun just in case.

I believe if you hate police officers, the next time you are in trouble, call a crack head.

Here’s a free tip: Cops will leave you alone if you don’t do stupid things.

I believe we need an election day, not an election month.

I believe you should be able to prove who you say you are when you vote.

I believe 400,000 bodies buried at Arlington National Cemetery is the reason you should stand for the National Anthem.

I believe the water won’t clear until you get the pigs out of the creek. ANAGRAMS

PRESBYTERIAN. Rearrange the letters—BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER. Rearrange the letters—MOON STARER

DESPERATION. Rearrange the letters—A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES. Rearrange the letters—THEY SEE

THE MORSE CODE. Rearrange the letters—HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY. Rearrange the letters—DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES. Rearrange the letters—CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION RESULTS. Rearrange the letters—LIES. LETS RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS. Rearrange the letters—ALAS NO MORE ZS

DECIMAL POINT. Rearrange the letters—IM A DOT IN PLACE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO. Rearrange the letters—TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW. Rearrange the letters—WOMAN HITLER What A Car Radio!

Joe bought a new Tesla recently and the sales consultant explained that its radio was voice-activated.

He demonstrated: “Nelson,” the consultant said. The radio responded, “Ricky or Willie?” “Willie,” the man continued, and “On The Road Again” flowed from the speakers. Then he said, “Ray Charles”, and in an instant “Georgia On My Mind” replaced Willie Nelson.

Joe drove away happy and for the next few days commanded a variety of tunes from the car’s sound system. One day a woman ran a red light and nearly smashed into his car, but he swerved in time to avoid her. He yelled, “Crazy woman!” The radio immediately responded: “Hillary, Maxine, Kamala, Warren, Ocasio, or Pelosi?” The Story Of Victor Frankl Viktor Frankl was a psychiatrist living in Austria when the Nazis invaded the country. As a result of being Jewish, he, along with his wife and parents, were deported to a Nazi ghetto. Between 1942 and 1945, he was in four different Nazi concentration camps, including Auschwitz, the deadliest of them all. Of the 1.3 million people sent to Auschwitz, 1.1 million died. However, Frankl narrowly escaped the gas chambers and survived. In April 1945 when the war ended, he was finally free. When he was in the camps, Frankl lived out the idea that he later imparted to the world in his best-selling book, Man’s Search For Meaning. He wrote: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” He continued: “You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.” None of us will likely have to endure the kind of Consider the dilemma of being circumstances Frankl had to go through during his time in the concentration camps, and most if not all a parent of younger children our problems and worries would pale in comparison. today. They have to be able to Just as it did for Frankl, the grand truth for every one explain the birds and the bees, of us is that we can always choose a positive perspective over a negative one, whatever the circumstances. the bees and the bees, the birds and the birds, the birds Philosophical Questions that used to be bees, the bees Why do supermarkets make the sick and infirmed that used to be birds, plus walk to the back of the store to get their prescriptions bees that look like birds but while healthy people can buy candy and gum at the still have a stinger! front? Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke? Is an argument between two vegans still called a beef? Why are so many members of Congress millionaires when their annual salary is only $174,000? Why do banks leave vault doors open but chain pens to counters? Why do we leave expensive cars in our driveways and put junk in the garage? If your electric car runs out of power on the interstate, do you walk to a charging station and get a container of electricity? Why does the sun lighten our hair but darkens our skin? Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring but dish washing liquid is made with real lemon juice? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?