Haute Life Magazine, Issue 5 by HauteLifeMag

ISSUE 05 $10

A Portion of Proceeds Donated to the Council On Domestic Abuse

Time to fall in

Healthy beginnings at Union Hospital. Here at Union Health, we know that mother-baby bonding during the first 48 hours of your baby’s life impacts his or her well-being long after you’ve left the hospital. That’s why we assure together time — so you can learn to understand and comfort your little miracle in the ways only you can. It’s how we support you in providing your baby with the best start possible. After all, we’re healthier together. For more information on our baby-friendly initiatives, call 812.238.7083.

myunionhospital.org

Welcome Page & Cover Photography by Samantha McGranahan

Well, here we are, failing forward through 2018. I say that in the most positive way because failure is not a bad thing. No, we haven’t failed big in any way recently, but we are constantly learning and growing, moving forward through experiences and struggles. You see, 2018 has been a turning point for us in some ways. We are teaching ourselves to be ok with learning from our failures, to take that information and run with it, use it, and do better. Whether it’s showing our children a little grace, lessons on how best to spend our money, or the light-bulb moment that tells us it’s time to take better care of our wellness. We are learning to prioritize our days, our lives, and what’s most important to us as individuals, as well as business partners. There is a plus side to struggle, friends. It’s accomplishment. We try to fit ALL THE THINGS into our days. We all have 24 hours in a day, 168 hours a week. What are you doing with your 168 hours? We as women live multi-faceted lives – many of us are wives and moms… but we also vote, we campaign, we volunteer, we work, we keep the houses in one piece. I talk about showing our children a little grace, but are we showing ourselves any? Instead of beating ourselves up for a failure or struggle, let’s look at it differently. What did you accomplish or learn from that struggle? There’s sure to be something… because you got through it. Christy Wright from the podcast The Business Boutique says “you cannot complain about that which you permit”. Now there’s a light-bulb moment if I’ve ever heard one! That quote alone forces you to look at the excuses you make and the things that steal your time. Ask yourselves this year: What are my priorities? What excuses am I making? We want you to make a list of the most important things to you – right now. Those are your priorities. You’ll see a lot of this reflected in the stories told in this issue. So many great stories from realtor and mom Debbie Hill, our Brave Mom Lindsay Toney, fitness and wellness guru Casey Ferkingstad, two amazing gastric bypass stories, one woman’s struggle with post-partum, to our little blog pages. There are so many women’s stories to tell, and we plan to be around to tell them all. Love and Grace, Lori and Yvette

Haute Life Magazine was created to celebrate, inspire, and uplift women in every aspect of their lives. Our mission is to recognize their courage and bravery in all that they do. We hope that Haute Life inspires you to seek your own passions.

We are Female + We are One

Contents...The Good Stuff 1. 5. 6. 9. 10. 12. 15. 16. 19. 20. 22. 24. 28. 32. 34. 37. 38. 42. 43. 44. 46. 50. 52. 56. 57. 58. 60. 61. 62. 64. 66. 68. 69. 70. 72. 74. 76. 78. 80. 82.

Features

Creators Welcome Council on Domestic Abuse Our Contributors Makers Gonna Make Not Just Another Fashion Show The Fast Track A Journey of My Own Doctor’s Orders Dream Chaser Not All Wounds Are Visible An Undeniable Truth From Here to Maternity… and Beyond Let’s Chat Wellness The Art of the Consultation Put on a Happy Face Unveiled True Colors Sincerely, Millie Charmed Life Art and Soul The Tale of Two Sisters Breaking the Chains Brave Moms Club Alive and Thriving Get Writing: Leah’s Thoughts CHAARG into a Healthy Lifestlye Haute Sycamore: Strength in the Singleness Haute Sycamore: Product Junkie Making an Impact Casa Living The Plant Lady Balancing Act Bound by Love The Haute Life Book Club In the Spotlight This is How I Roll Travelling Light Spring Fashion Cultivating Your Memories What Would You Tell Your Younger Self? A Special Thank You to our Sponsor

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If you would like to learn more about advertising or sponsorship opportunities, contact us as hautelifemag@gmail.com

mission: Our

Your health.

Primary Care from Union Medical Group. At Union Health, we’re not just here to care for you when you’re sick; we’re here to keep you healthy too. Our primary care providers get to know you and your unique needs – so they can better care for you during routine visits and help you manage chronic conditions before they impact your active life. It’s our way of helping you get well…and stay well. Call (812) 244.5057 today to schedule your next primary care appointment.

Healthier, together.

Council on Domestic Abuse Each year, Haute Life Magazine will donate a portion of our sales to a different women’s organization. In 2017, we were able to donate to P.I.N.K. of Terre Haute, an organization near and dear to us, through your purchases of Haute Life. For 2018, our staff collaboratively voted to donate a portion of sales to the Council on Domestic Abuse. We hope that by partnering with CODA, we can bring awareness of domestic and sexual abuse to the forefront in our community and throughout the Midwest. The mission of the Council on Domestic Abuse, Inc. is the elimination of domestic violence and sexual assault through societal change and the empowerment of abused individuals. The emergency shelter is located at 26 South 17th Street in Terre Haute, where 45 residents can stay as long as necessary. Male victims are served at the same capacity as women and will be accommodated at the emergency shelter. A children’s advocate works exclusively with children and parents to ensure the wellbeing of each child. Individuals are able to continue receiving services after leaving shelter. A large percentage of domestic violence victims are also victims of sexual assault at some point in their lives. CODA provides a Sexual Assault Advocate to anyone in the hospital who has experienced sexual assault. The Advocate provides free clothing, sits with the victim through the medical exam and conversation with law enforcement, and makes referrals for counseling and other services. The Sexual Assault Advocate is available to meet with shelter residents to help survivors heal from the multiple traumas they may be experiencing.

CODA had a ribbon cutting ceremony Oct. 3, 2017 to celebrate changing the shelter location status from confidential to public. We want victims to know where to get help.

Last year, CODA reached 4,870 individuals with activities or presentations from our advocates. Our goal is to prevent violence before it can happen. Teachers, businesses, and anyone in the community can request a presentation specific to their group. Examples of presentations include Healthy Relationships, Boundaries, Equity vs. Equality, Internet Safety/Social Media Responsibility, Bullying, and Teen Dating Violence. A Community Prevention Specialist also provides educational programming for inmates at the federal penitentiary. CODA advocates have adopted Raise the Bar Indiana, a program structured to train local bar owners and staff regarding the safety measures they should be taking to ensure their patrons are not assaulted before or after leaving the bar. Alcohol-serving establishments interested in our free training can call our office at 812-234-3441. Trained establishments can be recognized by a Raise the Bar Indiana decal posted at the front door.

Thanks so much to local businesses supporting CODA’s mission, like Sackrider & Company!

Anyone experiencing domestic violence or sexual assault should call our 24-hour emergency hotline at 1-800-566-CODA to speak to a local advocate. Legal Advocates can be reached in our office at 812-238-9577. They can accompany a victim in the courtroom to act as support and explain the criminal justice system, assist with filing protective orders, and offer educational sessions. There are a variety of volunteer opportunities at CODA including an intern program for college students. We welcome businesses and churches to hold donation drives for shelter supplies, and you can find a wish list at www.codaterrehaute.org. Local teens are encouraged to join our Take Action Council and can attend meetings at the Vigo County Public Library. Email codadirector@codaterrehaute.org to let us know how you would like to get involved with CODA. - Sarah Campbell

Take Action Council members are making a difference in our community!

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Last fall, Yvette Morgan and Angela Tapy, co-owners of Charm School Creative Studio – along with some inspiration from Brittni Rhodes (@gigglethisbritt on Instagram) – decided to host a “kid-preneur” event. They accepted applications for their first “Little Makers Suitcase Sale,” which took place on Small Business Saturday. “It was a very informal process this time, but interested children were to submit to us what they planned to make and sell, price those items accordingly, and tell us what they hoped to accomplish during the sale,” said Angela. “We had six young ladies contact us about our offer and each of them was to set up shop at Charm School to present their items in a vintage suitcase. It was really great to see all of the unique items and innovative ideas that each of them had, no two were alike.” Yvette and Angela helped the young entrepreneurs present their business skills to local shoppers, even providing each of them with their own logo and set of business cards. Small Business Saturday was the perfect time to showcase some of our community’s “smallest makers.” “At Charm School, we like to include people of all ages in our creative processes and this is an example of what happens when adults and children come together to create and inspire each other,” said Angela. These six girls were the heart and soul of the first Little Makers Suitcase Sale:

• Best Sisters Bath Bombs, Addie and Penelope – bath bombs • Gigi’s Creations, Gabriella – jewelry and bath scrubs • Sophie’s Tasty Treats, Sophie – peppermint bark and chocolate-covered pretzels • Slime Junkie, Lucy – assorted slimes • Kidz Comix, Evie – original comics • Ella Bella Creates, Ella – ornaments and jewelry Angela and Yvette hoped to show the girls, at an early age, the amount work you have to put forth in order to run your own business, how small businesses can impact the community, and the pride and sense of accomplishment you get from creating something with your own two hands - not to mention being able to receive the monetary rewards from it.

“The girls had a really great time showcasing their products,” said Yvette. “I think their favorite part was seeing what the other girls had made, and selling and buying the products to and from each other.” Small Business Saturday is not just an event celebrated in Terre Haute. It’s a national shopping day, which boosts the economies of many cities. “It helps out the community and I guess it’s fun for them [shoppers] to see what the girls have put so much effort into,” said Gabriella of GiGi’s Creations. This event was a great opportunity to teach the small and the tall alike to shop locally, and not just on Small Business Saturday! Charm School will host a second Little Makers Suitcase Sale again on May 5. If you know of any “kid-preneurs” interested in participating in a future sale, please contact CharmSchoolTH@gmail.com for more information. - Angela Tapy

Not Just Another Fashion Show For several years now, Millie & Maude and Modern Charm, along with several other local boutiques have been invited to take part in The Vigo County Medical Alliance Style Show and Luncheon. The ladies of the Medical Alliance organize a beautiful event, hosted in the past at the Country Club of Terre Haute, this year the event was held at the beautiful Sycamore Winery, and once again, we were blessed to be a part of it. The style show, however, has been taking place for more than 30 years, benefitting those with underserved medical needs in Terre Haute. All funds raised through the style show and luncheon stay right here in Vigo County. So, why is it not just another fashion show, you ask? I had the pleasure of meeting with (and getting to know!) Arpita Bavishi and Meghan Palmer, two of the ladies making an impact with the Vigo County Medical Alliance, to learn more about their organization.

The Vigo County Medical Alliance is composed of about 75 members who are both physicians and the wives of local physicians. The operate under a larger umbrella of the Indiana State Medical Association and the American Medical Association, and these ladies have a passion to help those in need. Meghan, in her second year with the philanthropic organization, saw many in need of proper health care in Terre Haute, many with no insurance, and wanted to help. Arpita, whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been with the organization for 9 years, also recognized this great need in our area, and found her passion to make a difference with The Medical Alliance. Both ladies work passionately and diligently to organize events and programs benefitting Wabash Valley Health Services (St. Annâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Medical and Dental Services) and Indigent Care, all while being busy wives and moms.

Arpita Bavishi

Meghan Palmer

The ladies of The Vigo County Medical Alliance (VCMA) have advocated for the health and welfare of our community since 1927. Not only does the Medical Alliance benefit Indigent Care and Wabash Valley Health Services, they also give support to Meals on Wheels programs, The Council on Domestic Abuse (CODA), and many other organizations. They also fund and sponsor the SAVE, or Stop America’s Violence Everywhere, program in our local schools. The American Medical Association has been a long-time advocate against the culture of violence in America. As gun violence has reached epidemic proportions, they realize more work needs to be done, and consider gun violence a public health issue. The Medical Alliance now has over 700 anti-violence programs covering many different anti-bullying activities that have been implemented by county and state affiliates. A portion of the proceeds from the VCMA’s fundraisers are used to print and distribute SAVE resources throughout schools. The ladies of the VCMA are looking for school affiliates to help distribute this information. In 2017, The Medical Alliance was able to provide CODA with $2,000, along with much needed supplies, $10,000 to Indigent Care, $4,500 to the Wabash Valley Health Center, and $2,000 for books for the SAVE Program. Meghan is determined, and I’m convinced she will succeed, to double their donations this year. To get involved or contribute to The Vigo County Medical Alliance, email them at vcmedicalalliance@ gmail.com, or follow their Facebook page, at www.facebook.com/VigoCountyMedicalAlliance. - Lori Mitchell

The FAST Track Fad diets are nothing new. They’re easy to spot because they usually offer a quick fix so you can fit into your bikini or impress everyone at your high school reunion. Many fad diets even promote special supplements or expensive packaged foods that you “must” eat in order to lose weight. Don’t buy into it! Fad diets are nothing more than their name—a fad. They might look exciting and effective for a while, but it doesn’t take long before they lose their appeal and it’s easy to see them for what they really are – an inferior way to lose weight while putting undue stress on the body. While some fad diets are certainly worse than others, it’s best to avoid them altogether if you want to lose weight in a healthy, sustainable way. Fad diets can cause malnutrition and dehydration, but it goes beyond that; they can cause you to lose lean muscle mass, which lowers your metabolic rate. When your metabolism goes down, so does your ability to lose weight. This results in a plateau of your weight loss goals, so then further restriction on the fad diet is necessary, which only continues the vicious cycle. If lowering your metabolism wasn’t enough, this type of diet also creates an imbalance in hormones, which can cause a whole new set of problems. And to top it all off, fad diets aren’t sustainable for the long-term, so as soon as you return to your normal diet, the weight will come back quickly, but your hormones and muscle mass won’t. This often results in gaining back more weight than when you started because your lean muscle and metabolism are both lower than they were before. This begs the question, is there a healthy way to lose weight that’s truly sustainable? Absolutely! As a mom of two, wife, vacation planner and a certified coach of the Faster Way to Fat Loss™ Program, I understand the struggle to live a healthy lifestyle in the midst of extreme busyness. I needed something that made sense to me but wouldn’t include deprivation diets. Been there done that! I’m a girl that likes her carbs! And thanks to this program, I now truly understand how to fuel my body with whole food nutrition. While my workouts are challenging, I am spending less time working out than I have before! Through the FASTer Way to Fat Loss I have been able to effectively remove food triggers that affect my digestion, build lean muscle with effective workouts, improve my sleep, lose unwanted fat and improve my overall energy levels. This program has completely changed my life, and because of that I am committed to helping other women get the same results in a truly sustainable way.

Photos Courtesy of Richardson Studio - Bloomington, IN

Here is some insight: Intermittent fasting and carb cycling are two strategies that have gained a lot of attention recently. While they may sound reminiscent of a fad diet, they most definitely are not! In fact, when you put these strategies into play, they actually have the opposite effect of a fad diet. Intermittent fasting and carb cycling will help your body: • • • • • • • • •

Burn fat Lose weight Balance hormones Increase insulin sensitivity Decrease insulin resistance Induce cellular repair Reduce inflammation Potentially reduce the risk of disease Retain and support lean muscles mass

No fad diet can boast benefits like these. Bottom line: if your diet can be categorized as a fad, crash or yo-yo, run the other way. Research intermittent fasting and carb cycling instead, and see what they can do for you. Intermittent Fasting, or time-restricted feeding, isn’t a diet at all. It’s actually a schedule with a window for fasting and a window for eating. Your body is always in one of those two states, you are either fed or fasted. When you’re fed (any time the body is digesting), your insulin levels will be elevated, which makes it difficult to burn fat. When you’re in a fasted state (8–12 hours after digestion ceases), your insulin levels are lower and your body is better able to burn fat.

Most people rarely go into a fasted state throughout the day. In fact, many people still follow the advice to eat five or six small meals throughout the day. We know this won’t ultimately help people reach their weight loss goal because they are regularly spiking their insulin levels all day long, which hinders fat loss. There are several ways to implement an intermittent fast, but my preference is a 16/8 protocol. This means I fast for 16 hours every day and eat within an 8-hour window. If that sounds too hard, just remember that you’ll be sleeping for about half of that time (or at least you should be). As your hormones begin to balance out, it will get easier and easier to practice daily intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting is not a deprivation-based strategy. You’ll simply eat your daily calories within your feeding window, without restricting your intake. In fact, people who practice intermittent fasting without changing their diet will still see impressive results, although people who focus on a whole-food diet will see much better results. Carb Cycling Carb cycling is not code for eating donuts in spin class (although that doesn’t sound too bad). It’s an intentional variation of carbohydrate intake throughout the week. Most carb cycling plans consist of planned high carb days and low carb days. I don’t suggest cutting out carbs completely, but I do suggest varying your weekly carb intake so you can get the most out of your workouts and improve your body composition. Long-term restriction of carbohydrates (along with calories) can lower your metabolic rate, which has a negative impact on

hormone levels and your body’s ability to burn fat. Cutting out carbs altogether typically leads to a lower caloric intake, but it also deprives your body of vital nutrients. This leaves your energy low and your cravings high. By cycling your carbs, you’re depleting your body’s store of carbs on low carb days. Once those are gone, your body will reach into your fat stores for fuel, which results in weight loss and fat loss. High carb days help increase your thyroid output and help you control hunger.

A quick word about treat day. This means you work a fun food of your choice into your macros (this isn’t permission to eat treats all day long). So go ahead and enjoy a donut, a slice of pizza, ice cream or a glass of wine. This lifestyle is NOT about deprivation, it’s about making smart choices most of the time and allowing a little grace.

The FASTer Way To Fat Loss™ The relatively new program called the FASTer Way To Fat Loss™, created by Amanda Tress, utilizes both of these strategies to help clients burn the maximum amount of fat while giving a big boost to overall health and wellness.

The FASTer Way To Fat Loss™ exercise plan incorporates strength training and speed burst training to complement the food cycles. You will maximize your fasting window and carb cycle when you strategically pair them with certain exercises. This will help kick your body into a high level of fat-burning—even when you aren’t working out! That’s why we say this program will turn you into a pro fat burner. You’ll teach your body how to burn fat all the time!

When I found the FASTer Way I knew I was on to something different—and much better—because the FASTer Way focuses on nutrition first, exercise second. Clients learn the all-important concepts of intermittent fasting and carb cycling in addition to tracking macros.

When we put all of this together, FASTer Way clients will combine carb cycling, intermittent fasting, macro counting, strength training and speed burst training to help your body become a pro fat burner. If that sounds a little intimidating, don’t worry! It’s simpler than it sounds.

Macros, or macronutrients, are the carbs, fats and proteins that make up our food. They need to be eaten in certain ratios to properly fuel the body. Most people need to eat about 50% carbs, 30% fat, 20% protein. This debunks the myth that a calorie is a calorie (and it doesn’t matter where it comes from), because the source of your calories truly does matter.

The beauty of the FASTer Way To Fat Loss™ is that the program is done in 6-week rounds through an online accountability group. You’ll have a prep week with which to orient yourself and try out the strategies (which is in addition to the six weeks, making a total of seven). Once Week 1 officially begins, your certified FASTer Way coach (that’s me) will be there to give you the daily nutrition and fitness strategies (which you’ll also receive in a comprehensive guide when you sign up). You can ask questions and see what other people in the group are doing. You’ll also post your daily macros here, which: 1) keeps you accountable and 2) keeps you on track.

The term If It Fits Your Macros (maybe you’ve seen the hashtag #IIFYM) means that you can eat whatever you want as long as it fits into your macronutrient ratio for the day. This makes it possible to still eat your favorite foods and see results because you are consuming the correct ratio of macros, if not the best food. In the FASTer Way we focus on a whole-food diet (read: anything that came from the ground or had a mother), but we’ll incorporate a treat once a week. (I absolutely love that there is a forgiving system in place if we eat something that isn’t in the plan.) If you eat something that would normally derail a healthy diet, just fit it into your macros and move on with your life. I just mentioned that we focus on a whole-food diet in the FASTer Way, but two things I encourage you not to eat are dairy and gluten. These are both inflammation-causing foods and we are trying to get the body back to true health and balance. This can’t be done when

the body is in a state of inflammation, so we avoid gluten and dairy (although you might see me eating a donut on treat day).

The FASTer Way To Fat Loss™ is helping women all over the world break through their health and fitness plateaus and see success they simply couldn’t find anywhere else. This program marries fitness and nutrition in a way that makes sense, but more than that, in a way that works with science. That’s why the FASTer Way gives everyone incredible results. Because you’re working WITH your body, not against it. Plus, you still get to eat donuts! If you’re interested in signing up for my round of the FASTer Way To Fat Loss™ virtual bootcamp, visit my website at caseyferkingstad.com. - Casey Ferkingstad

A Journey of My Own My name is Kristine, and I’m a life-long Hautian. You probably recognize me from running around at Baesler’s Market. I am excited to share my journey to wellness with the Haute Life community and hope it can help even just one person begin their journey. I am by no means suggesting that I am an expert, or have the answer to all health problems. All of the information I have is what I have learned through my own experiences. Before I start, it’s important to note two things that I have learned on my journey to wellness: 1. Every body is different. This means what works for one person doesn’t necessarily mean that it will work for all. 2. The mechanics of the human body are truly incredible. IT is much smarter than YOU are. Growing up, especially once I got to middle and high school, it became obvious that things for me weren’t the same as they were for my friends. I couldn’t participate in sports like they were able to and I didn’t have the energy like they did. My body never looked like theirs no matter how healthy I ate. The older I got, the more prominent the voice in the back of my mind became. It was always saying, “This is not how your body is supposed to feel. There is no way this is it.” I never told my doctors (or anyone for that matter) about this intuition because I didn’t understand where this feeling was originating from myself. There was more than one occasion that I sat in my rheumatologist’s office and told him that I wanted to discontinue my weekly injections and stop taking my twice-daily handful of pills. A couple of times I won the fight, but I always ended up back in the office when I would eventually be in so much pain and have so much swelling that I would have no choice. My symptoms were never “cured” or even controlled with treatment, but they were bearable because I didn’t have anything better feeling to compare it to.

I was never big or overweight by any means, but I was never happy with my body due to an immense amount of constant swelling and bloating. This explains why following a supposed healthy diet never awarded me any changes. I came across information from a doctor in California that suggests an elimination diet to heal your body. Without my own doctor’s blessing I felt skeptical, but I figured the worst that could happen is that I lose five pounds. After following a plant-based elimination diet (no dairy, meat, or oil) for two weeks I noticed I had lost not five pounds, but almost 10 pounds! Obviously, it isn’t really possible to lose body fat that quickly. I suddenly could see bones in my hands I had never seen, I could wear bracelets, and even my shoes fit differently. After trial and error of slowing introducing foods back one at a time, it wasn’t

long until I found the message my body had been trying to send me all along, “STOP FEEDING ME DAIRY!” Loud and clear. Eventually, I stopped taking ALL of my medications while continuing to feel better and do more every day. I didn’t truly understand how bad I actually felt until I started feeling good. I got rid of a rheumatologist, gastroenterologist, and a dermatologist just by altering my diet. I don’t feel that it is important to include the laundry list of symptoms and problems caused if I deviate from what allows my body to function at its best. Trust me when I say that eating with the intention to fuel your body is NOT more expensive than the alternative. This does not go to say that I don’t eat Oreos every once in a while. I mean, they’re vegan, right? Today, I eat a 100 percent dairy free diet, and stick to a plant-based diet about 80 percent of the time. I eat the way I do because it is what MY body responds the best to. Learning to listen to my body and how I was truly feeling required me to be very honest with myself. Sure, binging on pizza with friends sounds fun, and tastes good. But does it really? Do I feel my best when I do that, or do I feel lethargic, achy, and have a foggy brain? Keeping a journal to track my eating habits, and my body’s response was extremely helpful during this process. I am also more active than I could have ever imagined I would be. I went from not being able to participate in my high school gym classes, to the gym being a part of my daily routine. I lift weights, run, and am lucky to have a dog that is always ready for a 3-4 mile walk/jog at a moment’s notice. It wouldn’t feel right to not include a shout out to my friends and family who have supported me from the very beginning. It is funny how something like an elimination diet seems radical to some at first, but my medications that were essentially mild forms of chemotherapy were looked at as normal and needed to make me healthy. Once people around me saw how quickly and drastically my health was changing, it didn’t take much convincing of the benefits. I have wonderful parents who go out of their way to make sure I feel included in meals at home, and friends who have a list composed of Kristine-friendly restaurants. Sonka’s, Monical’s, Umi Grill, and Royal Mandarin – I’m looking at you! I hope that reading about my journey inspires you in your own path to wellness, no matter what point of that you are in. I’ve met many people along the way who have shared theirs, and I’ve been incredibly grateful for that. There is always something for us to learn from others, and something that we can share with others. If you would like to continue the conversation, please don’t hesitate to reach out! - Kristine O’Hare

Doctor’s Orders Why I Made the Life-Changing Decision to Undergo Gastric Bypass Surgery As you read about these two brave women below, you’ll hear two very different stories, along with the why behind their decision to have Gastric Bypass Surgery. Uncover the truth from Erin and Elizabeth as they both take you through this life changing event and how they are doing since having the surgery. You’ll get a bird’s eye view of their experience and what life is like now for each of them. - Yvette Morgan

Tell us why you chose to have Gastric Bypass Surgery? Erin: There are several reasons why I chose to have the surgery. The first reason was my health. I was on a downward spiral for the past six years that was making life very hard - breathing, walking, sleeping, and just regular day to day tasks. I also work in a daycare, so I wanted to be able to keep up with all of the children. Being able to get on the floor was such a huge goal for me. I know that sounds silly but being on their eye level is so important.

needed a cane to walk. That’s when I finally told myself that something needed to change or I wasn’t going to be able to do the things I love, or even work.

What resources did you seek before making the decision to have the surgery? Elizabeth: I searched online and talked with other people who had been through the surgery. I ended up with a yearlong program of classes and counseling before I could have the surgery. I chose the St. Vincent Bariatric Group in Carmel, Indiana. I also chose not to tell anyone except my husband and kids. I didn’t want to talk about it in case I didn’t succeed. When I was done with the program and set a surgery date, I TOLD EVERYONE!

Another important reason is because my mom always wanted me to have this surgery. So, in a way, I did it in her honor. I can still see my mom smiling as she would imagine not only a healthier me, but she would picture me walking with my head up higher, observe me speaking with more certainty and most of all be able to witness me falling in love with the new me that was trapped in there all along. She longed for me to see what she saw in me. She always hoped that I could feel the way she knew I deserved to feel. Elizabeth: My weight never bothered me because I always had an amazing husband who made me feel beautiful inside and out, and I was surrounded by the love of my family and friends. I never felt out of place or overweight. It had never stopped me or gotten in the way of my life UNTIL I started having a few health problems and trouble doing some of the things I love. Diets were impossible to stick with. My hips started hurting so badly that I

Erin: I talked to a friend of mine who had the procedure and I began talking to my doctor about whether I was a good candidate. I also started counseling and doing my own research online. I found St. Vincent Bariatric Center of Excellence. I called them and they were very kind and helpful and led me in the right direction. What type of side effects did you have or still deal with? Elizabeth: I didn’t have many side effects physically, but mentally it was very hard. I had to go months without being able to eat the foods that I loved – foods that became my crutch and I didn’t realize it. Today, almost six years after surgery, I can’t eat large amounts of food. I finally realized that I had a food addiction. To this day, I sometimes wish I could eat a whole pizza! They say you are always an addict, and sometimes you give up one addiction for another - I personally believe this to be true. I am working on switching my addiction to working out. With the weight loss and

two full hip replacements, I can actually work out without it being physically painful. I never thought I would say this, but I actually like working out! Erin: I would love to say there were no side effects! The first side effect I experienced was scary. I won’t go into nasty details, but I was taken to the ER only to discover I had a bowel obstruction and a hernia. I was transported to Indianapolis St. Vincent and had emergency surgery to remove part of my colon and the hernia. I have also developed ulcers. I’ve had two endoscopies and new prescriptions to regulate those. What does your diet consist of now? Is there anything you’re not able to indulge in anymore? Elizabeth: I have very few problems eating and drinking what I want. Digesting some foods does cause a problem occasionally, such as raw vegetables and beef. I can usually only have a few bites of salads, raw vegetables or beef, and then I can’t eat solids for several hours - sometimes a day. But sometimes you just have to get that fix of a juicy steak every now and then, so I will. Then I just eat soups and liquids for a day. I can’t eat ice cream anymore, and I’m not sure why, because I can eat other dairy products. I only eat small portions, probably 1 – 1 ½ cups of food at a time, and with that, I eat about 4-5 times a day. Erin: Very small portions are also a result of the surgery; usually no more than 3 oz. at a time. I eat a lot of protein shakes, soups, fruit and vegetables. I do eat cheese, taco meat, sloppy joe, and chili. But I sure miss my Baesler’s muffins, boneless wings and pasta. I occasionally crave a PB&J made on nutty oat bread with strawberry jam and BBQ chips.

Can you tell us how having the surgery has changed your emotional and family life: Erin: The surgery has made me stronger and boosted my self-esteem. I hold my head a little higher. I used to shy away from situations and now I am eager to follow through. I would never really go anywhere alone, where I wouldn’t know many people, but now I do it weekly. I have always been a compassionate and caring person and help others in need. I realize now change is good. In 2018, I gave myself the motto: “It’s my turn!” I don’t want it sound like I am selfish, I just need to take care of me.

I have a very active family, nephews and a niece. Now I’m able to (and want to) go to their sporting events and go on walks with them. Our family has a lake and cabin and I would never want to go. I was always too hot and uncomfortable and I just didn’t enjoy it. I missed out on a lot of family functions. My family is the backbone of my support system. Elizabeth: It has been hard for my family at first, they didn’t want to eat around me. Sometimes I would cry because I couldn’t have the food that I wanted. They felt terrible about eating my favorite foods around me. My poor husband has probably suffered the most. I didn’t cook like I used to or buy the junk food that we always had stashed in the house. This has changed as time has gone by. I started cooking more again, just differently, like trying new and healthier recipes. I started buying the family healthier treats and snacks. But my husband still got his junk food, too. It doesn’t bother me to see the stuff laying around the house anymore. continued on page 18

Photo by Hannah Trierweiler

What advice would you give to someone thinking about having Gastric Bypass done? Elizabeth: I think if someone is going to have this surgery they should go through the program of nutrition classes and counseling. It is life changing in so many ways. I was lucky enough to have my amazing daughter by my side, and family and friends to get me to where I am today.

their pools to swim in and just to be there for me when I needed someone to talk to. My boss even let me take the summer off to adjust to my new life style. Nine months out from the surgery, I still have the same support, which makes me so happy. I have a team of people to hold me up if I fall. This is the first time I’ve talked about my surgery publicly, and I was worried about the different opinions I would get. But I am proud that I made the decision and I’m so happy with the support I’ve received.

Erin: If you’re considering gastric bypass surgery, my advice is to do this for the right reason. It is not a quick fix - it is a new life. You have to want to commit to this new life. Please seek counseling; do not ask others for their opinion - this is about you and your life. It is a big deal and not an easy way out, meaning to lose the weight. This is by far the hardest thing I have done and probably will ever do.

What is the one thing you wish people wouldn’t ask you? Erin: The one question people ask me is: “Do you regret it?” My answer is always no! Look at me – I’m happy! Who knows where I would be today if I didn’t make that decision close to a year ago. I could be in a wheelchair, walker, have heart disease, or even be dead. I’m able to walk, go up and down stairs, and run just a little bit. My heart is fuller, my pride is bigger, and there are days where I just stop and think, thank you mom. I would have probably never done this if it weren’t for her. Elizabeth: I still have no idea how much weight I’ve lost. I didn’t ever want to know what I weighed or how much I was losing. I can say this though; I am happy and healthy with my size now. If my jeans get tight once in a while, I try to pay attention instead of ignoring it. I am just glad that I feel good now. It drives me crazy when people ask me how much I have lost, or if they say, “Wow, I didn’t even realize that was you!” In my head and heart, I still feel like the same girl that I have been my whole life.

What did your support system look like during your transition? Erin: I had support from family, friends and coworkers. My family made sure I was comfortable; the healing process is not overnight. My dad prepared meals for me. I even had a friend bring me a recliner because it was easier for me to get in and out of. Friends and family have gone on walks with me at my pace, offered me

Have you ever listened to a podcast that rocked your world? Or read a book that changed the way you think? I love sharing my love of books, magazines, podcast, and my favorite people to follow on social media. “Dream Chaser” is part of the magazine that I hope will inspire, lift, and bring more joy and laughter to your life. I get to hand pick each one and share with all of you my favorites. So what are you waiting for? I promise you won’t be disappointed. If you have a favorite that I should highlight, please send me a message. I’d love to hear from you. - Yvette Morgan

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Not All Wounds Are Visible Every year students flip to the back of the yearbook to see pictures of their peers who did not make it to their graduation date. People may not have recognized the signs of suicide that these students were displaying as they were gasping for air while struggling. Suicide is a topic that is not often talked about, but it needs to be because it is taking away our future every day, as these teens are our future. Many people are personally affected by suicide on a daily basis. I personally was affected by suicide when my cousin took her life in 2013. Questions were left unanswered and the signs of suicide were not recognized. It’s critical to become educated on the signs of suicide and what to do when recognizing those signs and educate others in hopes to prevent these tragedies. Being able to recognize the signs of suicide is very important regardless of your role in the community. If just one person recognizes that someone else is struggling a life can be saved. Signs of suicide include: giving away personal belongings, depression, unexplained changes in emotions, feelings of hopelessness, distancing themselves from family and friends, and self-harm. When recognizing these signs do not leave the person alone, let them know that someone is there for them, listen, and contact an organization that can help the person with the struggles they are facing and help them become happy and active again. In Wabash Valley, Hamilton Center and Mental Health America of Vigo County are two organizations that provide services to help with treatment and prevention of suicide. Another spectacular resource is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. If you or someone you know is ever feeling down or struggling please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. This hotline is completely confidential and open 24/7. The Vigo County School Corporation has recognized the issue of teen suicide and has stepped in to prevent teen suicides and bring awareness to the issue. Teachers are going through training on how to recognize the signs, what to do when

recognizing those signs, and how they should respond if a student confides in them that they are contemplating suicide. The Vigo County School Corporation’s Assistant Director of Student Services, many school guidance counselors, and even two Terre Haute South High School students are members of the Wabash Valley Suicide Coalition, “Lost and Found.” Additionally, business owners, Mental Health America of Vigo County employees, Hamilton Center employees, and other community members also make up this coalition. The Wabash Valley Suicide Coalition’s goal is to spread awareness, prevention, and education in hopes to help people who are lost find themselves and find their purpose. Carter Herrin and Olivia Dillion, Terre Haute South High School students, did a DECA project on teen suicide prevention and awareness. The purpose of this project was to raise prevention programs within the school, educate students, staff, and community members on the signs of suicide and what to do when recognizing these signs, raise awareness about the issue of teen suicide, and raise awareness of the services Hamilton Center and Mental Health America of Vigo County provide to the community. As a result of this project, a button on Terre Haute South’s guidance counselor web page has been added titled “Need Help? Your Life Counts!” This section on the website includes resources that are readily available to students so if a student is struggling they may access the webpage and get help. Often suicidal thoughts occur outside of school, so having this resource can allow students to have access to assistance at all times. Other events in order to increase awareness, prevention, and education were done as well. Always be someone who makes someone else look forward to tomorrow. Your kind actions and education on recognizing the signs of suicide can save someone’s son, daughter, cousin, or best friend. Together we can make it so other families do not experience the empty holes in their hearts and empty seats at their dinner tables. - Olivia Dillion Photo by Danielle Guy

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An Undeniable Truth “What happens if William gets sick?” “What would I do if one of my boys got hurt?” “Did I wash the pacifier well enough?” “What happens if I fall down the stairs or trip when I am holding him?”

I had just had my second son, William, on January 25, 2007. We had been trapped inside the house during what was one of the coldest Februarys in history. I went from teaching full-time, to being at home with my 2-year-old and newborn, and I was struggling. I had experienced some “baby blues” right after the birth of my first son (Andrew), but this was different. I was euphorically happy right after William was born, but then I started feeling periods of intense sadness and often, I felt scared. I would obsess about William getting sick, or one of my boys getting hurt. I kept washing his pacifier, even if it wasn’t dirty, because I was afraid he would get sick. I didn’t want him to be away from me because I was worried something might happen to him if I wasn’t there. I felt so incredibly happy to have two healthy little boys, but at the same time, I felt so incredibly sad and nervous without knowing why.

Fast-forward 18 months. Things had gradually improved as William got older; I was still fairly anxious, worried about him getting sick of having something really wrong with him or Andrew. I still had a very short fuse and feelings of anger quite often; not against my children or husband, but my patience was very short with the world around me. I wasn’t sad, but I wasn’t happy either. I was now pregnant with my third child (I didn’t know at the time, but another boy). This time, I was working with a midwife for my pregnancy. The feelings of sadness and lack of enjoyment of life had started to increase from the beginning of my pregnancy, as did my anxiety that something bad was going to happen, and my feelings of apathy. I got to the point where I was just not happy.

As the days turned into months, I kept feeling like something was not right. I started feeling really angry at times, which made me feel guilty and sad. William ended up getting RSV around two months old, and it sunk me into a state of sadness and fear that intensified. I questioned if I might be having postpartum depression, but since I didn’t feel sad all of the time and wasn’t crying as much as I did right after I had Andrew, I figured I was wrong. When I went to my doctor about it, she said it didn’t sound like it was postpartum depression but I could go so a psychologist if I wanted. I was afraid to go to a doctor because I was worried they might think it was just that I didn’t enjoy being a mom or didn’t love my children – and that was so far from the truth. I was breastfeeding William, and would not even consider taking a medication because I was too concerned it would impact him adversely. So, if I didn’t think there were any options for medication, and since the doctor didn’t think I was depressed, what was the point of going? My midwife brought it up at my 16-week appointment and I broke down. She immediately got me in with a psychiatrist to talk about my options. It was at that point, working with my compassionate midwife and psychologist, that I realized that I had been suffering from postpartum depression (PPD) and primarily, postpartum anxiety (PPA), since William’s birth. I had never even heard of postpartum anxiety, and told the doctor that I wasn’t really sad so it was probably not depression. But as I began to learn more, I began to see that it was indeed, postpartum anxiety and depression. You don’t have to check off all of the boxes on all of the charts; PPD/ PPA is not a one-size-fits-all illness. Through education, careful selection of a medication that was safe in pregnancy and with breastfeeding (as I was still breastfeeding toddler William at that point), and counseling, I began to feel like an entirely different person. My anger began to lessen. I started to enjoy and truly look forward to playing and being with my children and husband, and it felt like a light went on in my life. I hadn’t even

realized that I had been in the darkness until the light came back and I saw how low I had gotten. I felt like I got my life back, which was ironic because I hadn’t realized it had been away from me. That was in 2008. In the last 10 years, I have given birth to two more children (in total, four boys and a little girl), gotten my master’s degree, became a birth and postpartum doula, and a Breastfeeding USA counselor. I knew that I was at risk for postpartum anxiety and depression with my subsequent pregnancies, so I was proactive at finding medications that worked for me, as well as working with a therapist and my husband before, during, and after pregnancy. I felt so alone, like no one else was going through the same thing as I was, after I had William. Through my work as a doula and as a breastfeeding peer counselor, I realize I was so, so wrong. In the United States, it is estimated that up to 900,000 women a year will get postpartum depression and anxiety, and only 15% of those women will receive treatment. I wasn’t alone; I was just trapped in a maze with thousands of other women that I could not see. Postpartum depression and anxiety are the most common complication of childbirth, and one of the ones talked about the least. It’s time to start the conversation now. There are lots of very helpful options that exist for learning about Postpartum Anxiety and Depression, finding treatment options, and support.

- Devon Kinne

Facts About Postpartum Depression and Anxiety Postpartum Support International - www.postpartum.net

Hiding in Plain Sight – Breastfeeding USA https://breastfeedingusa.org/content/article/hiding-plain- sight-postpartum-depression Postpartum Progress - www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symp

toms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english

Symptoms This is not an exhaustive list of symptoms, nor do most people experience every symptom, all of the time. Postpartum depression and anxiety are classified as having had a baby in the last 12 months and experiencing some of these symptoms :

• • • • • • • • • • • •

Feeling angry or irritated Lack of interest in the baby/lack of feeling bonded Appetite or sleep disturbances Crying and sadness Feelings of guilt or hopelessness Loss of interest, pleasure, or joy in things you used to enjoy Possible thoughts of harming yourself or child Constant worry Feeling that something bad is going to happen Racing thoughts Inability to sit still Physical symptoms (dizziness, nausea, hot flashes)

Support Groups Terre Haute Breastfeeding Moms – this group, led by 3 Breastfeeding USA counselors and 2 La Leche League leaders, offers free meetings three times a month, as well as an active Facebook group. Many moms in this group have experienced PPD/PPA and can help offer suggestions, their experiences, a hug, and mom-tomom support, especially related to breastfeeding and PPD/PPA. http://thbreastfeedingmoms.weebly.com

Postpartum Progress – information and Tools for Hope www.postpartumprogress.com/get-hope Online Support Group – Facilitated by Birdie Meyer, coordinator of the Perinatal Mood Disorders Clinic at IU Health www.supportgroupscentral.com/psi Help Lines People in crisis should contact their physicians, emergency room, or the 24 hour Emergency Hotlines: Text HOME to 741741 anywhere in the US, anytime, about any sort of crisis. National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

From Here to Maternity...and Beyond When I was expecting, I had no clue what a doula was. Doula? Midwife? Huh?? As it turned out, my mother-in-law’s best friend had been a doula for years. So, we got a doula. It made our birthing experience so much more relaxing, calming, and maybe even a little strategic. I’m so glad we have the memory of Stephanie Downing as our doula and felt compelled to tell our readers more about her. As it turned out, my friend Diana Abdallah had moved back to Detroit, and recently became a post-partum doula, something else I didn’t know existed, but really, how important?! Read on to learn more about their careers, and how they’re making a difference in the lives of so many families. To start the article, I talk to Stephanie about being a birth doula before transitioning into Diana’s experience as a postpartum doula. - Lori Mitchell

Tell us what a doula does. There are two types of doulas. A birth doula provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to a mother before, during and shortly after childbirth to help her achieve the healthiest, most satisfying experience possible. But to me, a big “secret” is that the dads/support person(s) need us like crazy, especially with first time babies. Having a doula in the room takes the pressure off of them, helps them to relax more and focus on their birthing partner and connect with them in calmer, more complete ways. Because I am a massage therapist as well, I do lots of massage, relaxation and breathing technique support and assistance with labor positions. I work closely with the support person and we work as a team. With my clients, the attending nurse becomes part of our team too, and sometimes the OB chooses and enjoys hanging out with us and does more than catch the baby! As one of the founders of DONA (Doulas of North America, which is now DONA International), Penny Simkin, said, “The doula does not make decisions for you, or project their personal preferences on you. They help you get the information you need to make good decisions.” A post partum doula provides help with infant feeding, emotional and physical recovery from birth, mother–baby bonding, infant soothing, and basic newborn care in the days and weeks following birth.

What is the difference between a birth doula and a midwife? Doulas and midwives are both professionals who assist with childbirth and women’s reproductive health. A doula provides support to the mother before, during, and shortly after childbirth, but does not deliver

Photography by Ashely Swearingen: Family Tree Photography

the baby or do anything medical. Doulas focus on an expectant mother’s own needs, which enable her to have a memorable and empowering experience while giving birth, no matter how the baby is born. A midwife is a health care provider who can do prenatal care and deliver the baby. They can deliver in a hospital, birthing center or even at-home births.

What are the main focuses of a doula during birth? What I hope all birth doulas do during a birth is that they reassure the people involved to know that the feelings, smells, sounds are normal; that they support a woman’s choices without judgment and without trying to change her mind or convince her of anything; that by helping reduce stress in the labor room it benefits all involved, the outcome and may even make it all an “enjoyable” experience and memory. What training and certifications does someone need to become a doula? There are many doula organizations and most I am not familiar with. I did my certification with DONA. DONA is one of the oldest, maybe the oldest doula organization, and was founded in 1992, is in 56 countries with DONA certified doulas, has 12,000 DONA-certified doulas since they started. DONA training includes participation in an approved workshop (I went to Indy for mine); supplementary text reading from their list (lots but so valuable); training in breastfeeding and basic childbirth education; hands-on support with clients, networking to develop a resource list for your community (this is new); business webinar training (new); an essay and written references. You work at your own pace.

What resources are available to someone who would like to hire a doula? I am embarrassed to say that but I work so independently that I can’t tell you. I believe the best bet is DoulaMatch.net. I also suggest people interview a few doulas. We understand that no one is the right “fit” for all. Why did you become a doula? It was 2004 (I had moved to Terre Haute in 2002), I had been working as an independent massage therapist since 1999, my kids were in high school, I read an article about birth doulas in the Indy newspaper and it seemed like the right thing at the right time for me. At that time Terre Haute had a wonderful Maternal Health Clinic with midwives, sliding scale, and doulas! I was told they needed more doulas so that got me on the road. Personally, I felt very directed to work with people going through emotional, big-life changes. With my background in psychology and massage therapy this seemed like a wonderful fit, helping people connect their minds and bodies to be in the same place/in reality/in the moment. It was and has been. So rewarding. I also now do lots of hospice/dementia massage as well (and continue to have my private massage clients), and this also allows me to work with people in different and difficult life stages.

Tell us about your most memorable moment. There are so many! I have listed only a few. And they are not all-natural/ no drugs births either. That doesn’t matter to me. I am there to support, encourage, and calm my clients. To paraphrase my wise first pediatrician in California: “Just remember that many bottle-fed/epidural/cesarean babies have gone to college.” And that is my motto. • I had a laboring mom in my passenger seat at midnight (the dad was at home with the toddler, waiting for the babysitter) and we were stopped on 8th Avenue by a train. We were the only car. I thought for sure this was a joke. The baby was born one hour after we got to Union. • I had two clients, due two weeks apart, but they went into labor on the same day. And one was at Regional and the other at Union. I made them both, with the use of my back-up. • One client sat cross-legged on the bed, doing her own breath ing/focusing through the contractions. It was so wonderful that her husband and I were bored (but only for awhile).

• One mom ended up with a c-section, and even though they knew the baby’s sex beforehand I could hear the dad yell all the way down the hall from the operating room, “IT’S A GIRL!” and I could hear the nurses and doctors laughing. • My client was having her third baby. She knew what she was doing and that she would choose to get to the hospital at the last minute. She insisted on standing while in labor (gravity works wonders) and insisted on giving birth while standing. And the doctor complied. • A first time mom, as she lost focus during heavy contractions, I reminded her to go back to her “happy place,” which for her was riding a bike in Paris. And this client was able to have a natural birth with her focus, determination, and strong will. • I was with a client with her second birth, a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). During every contraction she held onto the bed rail and squatted (gravity again). So I squatted right be hind her to do hip squeezes (during labor the pressure of the baby’s head on the pelvis stretches the pelvis. The hip squeeze pushes the pelvis back into a relaxed position relieving the pressure of the stretch. I have done thousands of these on my clients). To say the least I could not walk for the next three days. • A first-time mom had contractions that started on a Friday at 4 p.m. and baby was born Monday at 6:30 a.m. Sixty-three hours of labor, lots of laboring at home, went to hospital on Sunday, used a birthing tub (one can rent them in town), we danced down the hospital hallway with and without the doctor, laughed a lot, slept a little, eight hours of epidural and then baby born! May be my longest. • I was the doula at an open adoption. The adopting mom from New York was in the room with us. It was amazing. • I was so fortunate to be the doula for this couple’s four babies. At the second birth she thought she wanted an epidural; the anesthesiologist even came into the room and she changed her mind and sent him away! And she had a successful natural birth. This same client, with her third baby, had an external cephalic version (a process by which her breech baby was turned externally from buttocks first to head first) and this baby was born naturally, vaginally, too, as were all her babies. • I had one client who did a whole yoga routine on her yoga mat on the floor in Labor and Delivery while in labor.

Emma Burcusel Photography

Diana, what is the role of a post-partum doula (PPD)? A postpartum doula offers a family the emotion and physical support when bringing home a newborn. They provide support during the recovery process, feeding assistance, and simple household chores. What advice would you give someone who’s interested in becoming a post-partum doula? You have to be able to be available the minute a phone call comes in for help. Some clients call you after the baby has already arrived and they need you in a flash. You also have the clients that interview doulas prior to the arrival. Baby arrival times are not planned (for the most part). What training and certifications are required? There are many training programs around the country. Many offer either an online course or in-person training, followed by requirements to achieve your certification. I attended in-person training through the Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association (CAPPA) training program. What is the most important part of your job? I would have to say that mom is taken care of and she is receiving the information and care to the best of my abilities and knowledge. What have you found to be the most rewarding moments? I love so much when I can I show a mom a new tool to soothe baby or if she tries something I suggested and it helped. I love coming into the door and they say, “I tried what you suggested and it’s been a success,” I love it! Also, those first moments, seeing the joy on the parents face. Baby smiles never get old. Why did you decide to become a post-partum doula? When I had my son, birth doulas were just coming into limelight. It was very rare you heard of a doula. A few years later, I heard of a postpartum doula and I researched what it was and how it was different than a birth doula. I love taking care of people and making them feel good about themselves. I didn’t have help when my son was born and I had postpartum depression/anxiety. If I can prevent one woman from going through what I did, then I have done my job. I want woman to feel that “tribe” behind them making sure they feel confident in their motherhood journey.

LaRay’s Photography

How long do you work with a family after the baby is born? Is it an ongoing relationship well after the child is a toddler? Many families choose a certain amount of hours or a time period when they sign their contract. Some choose 20 hours a week or some choose one overnight shift. It truly depends on the family. However, the most common seems to be the first six to eight weeks. Our scope of practice doesn’t allow us to be alone with a child since we are not a nanny, but an educator. We are there for the parents until they are confident to move forward without their doula. Do you work with parents just with their first child? Absolutely not. Most of the time if they had a doula with their first they know they need us for the others. If they are bringing home a second, third, or fourth, they can utilize a doula for taking time out for the older ones while the doula assists with the newborn. I feel they NEED us more when they are extending their family beyond the first. What type of hours do you offer? Many doulas offer day and overnight shifts. I have a minimum of four hours during the day and six hours overnight. The typical day shift is usually 10 a.m. – 2 p.m., or 11 a.m. – 4 p.m. Overnight shifts are generally 10 p.m. – 6 a.m. or 9 p.m. – 7 a.m. What resources are available for someone seeking a PPD? There are so many websites out there and doula agencies that hire birth and postpartum doulas. One of the staple websites people go to is doualmatch.net. Tell us about your blog. I am currently a contributor for Detroit Moms Blog, which is a sister site to City Moms Blog Network. I write a lot about my motherhood journey and my obstacles with postpartum depression and anxiety. We offer many networks for moms working and moms who stay home. We host playgroups, mom’s night outs, day family dates, as well as family events. Some of our big hits have been Bloom, which is for new and expecting moms, our Easter egg hunt, and a HUGE indoor soccer field.

Changing markets and our changing lifestyles can mean that your once-balanced portfolio needs adjustments. That’s why it’s so important to review your ﬁnancial strategy at least once every year. Together, we’ll assess how changes in your career, aspirations and goals can impact your prior investments, and we’ll make the necessary adjustments to help keep you on track. Though we may be knowledgeable on the markets, no one knows your life better than you. Schedule your financial review today, because no one knows your goals better than you.

Let’s Chat Wellness Our own personal wellness is the first thing to go as women. It doesn’t matter what stage of life you’re in, it only gets harder as time goes on and things pile on your plate. I know for myself as a wife and mother of a toddler, self-care can feel selfish at times. I have work, a household to tend to, a marriage to nurture, and a baby to love on and bring up the right way. Most of the time by Friday, my hair is 60 percent dry shampoo. It can feel so wrong to drop what we are doing, leave the house a mess, and go to a hair appointment. I even struggle to leave my son in someone else’s care. But this past year has taught me so much about making my personal wellness journey a priority. I had my son, Thor, in October of 2016 and my world radically changed. First of all, I became hyper-aware of everything around me. I questioned what I cleaned my house with, what I put in and on my body since I was nursing him 24/7, and how to care for him during every stage of his life. There’s so much in your brain as a new mom. It’s amazing and terrifying all at once. While juggling all of the “normal” parts of motherhood (what’s even considered normal, right?), I started

noticing major changes in myself. I was usually a super outgoing, chipper person who thrived in social situations. Being home with a baby turned me into the opposite of that. I didn’t notice this all at once, but slowly I realized that my usual social outings were now throwing me into a panic. So about 11 weeks into my postpartum journey, I reached out for help. Counseling is where I started, and I couldn’t be more grateful for what it offered me. Somehow we equate professional help with something negative. Like it’s the end of the world. But it’s so good for you. Counseling helped me to begin rationalizing what I was going through. I wasn’t crazy; I had some insane postpartum hormone imbalance going on and it was going to take work to get myself functioning again. Counseling helped me form steps in my wellness journey to get myself loving life again and get myself back to work. Something I learned through these meets was that I needed to find something outside of motherhood to get passionate about. Little did I know something huge was coming next. Back in May of 2017, a friend of mine from college was posting on Instagram about essential oils. I lurked and watched the things she was posting. One of her posts stuck out to me, so I sent her a quick message and asked her for more info. She plugged me in to some

Photography by Danielle Guy

classes to help answer my questions. I was mainly interested in things I could use for Thor and all of his baby issues, natural things to clean my house with, and natural things to help me cope with my emotional issues. I started learning so much and a fire started within me. I couldn’t believe how much was out there that could help with everything I had going on with my life. I ordered a little kit of oils from Young Living as my Mother’s Day present and have been completely blown away since. My friend welcomed me into an amazing community of women who encourage and uplift one another. They’re all super passionate about natural living and how to use the resources that come straight from the earth to help support our bodies. This community isn’t even just about oils or products, it’s about doing life together. I’ve sat in on so many classes put on by my team that have taught me all about how my body and mind work and how I can best support it. It’s seriously mind blowing and I learn something new everyday. My passion now is to share my story and help others. I know there are moms just like me who are struggling to find a better way. Now I get to teach classes on natural living (both online and in person) and meet so many amazing people. I have a passion again and love what I do. I’m not perfect, and I don’t have it all figured out. But I feel like I have the tools to walk this journey and become the best version of myself that I could ever be. If you’re a new mama who is struggling right now, there is a better way. Find something to get passionate about and run after it. You might feel like you’ve lost yourself and can’t find your way, but just find that glimmer of hope and run towards it with all you have. Brighter days are coming and you’re going to be okay. - Jessica Aden

heart Your

is in the right place.

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The Art of the Consultation After 30 years of doing hair, and loving just about every minute of it, I have realized that the art of the consultation should be a path of discovery or a journey, between the beauty recipient and the beauty professional. I wasn’t born with that beautiful gift of the perfect consultation, but fortunately enough I’ve been trained as an educator for Scruples Professional Haircare and I am about to share some great tips to take your hair color journey to the next level. Our hair is our crowning glory. It is one of the most important accessories for our look. Fabulous hair can give you the confidence that you need to own a situation or show off your personality. Sometimes we get inspired by a fabulous color or a beautiful cut or hairstyle and immediately desire that. However, without the proper consultation you could be wearing a hair color that gives your complexion a washed-out appearance or draws unwanted attention to flawed facial and body features. Sometimes the latest trends aren’t always the most flattering. I wore my hair in the prettiest shades of cool reds, purples, merlot, sometimes burgundy, and once, gorilla fur black. That is when black is so black, it is blue. I later discovered, during my own self tour of color, that I have a warm complexion and should wear auburn, cinnamon, golden browns, caramel, honey gold and copper, you get the picture. I was always drawn to warm tones but I thought I had a cool complexion, so that’s what I asked for. As soon as I started wearing the right tones in my hair, that’s when my hair got noticed, for the right reasons. I even changed my eyeshadows, lip color and changed my jewelry finish from silver to gold. “Should I bring a picture?” you ask. Any visual aid will help, but keep in mind that most of the photos we see via the Internet are filtered. Specifics of the color formula and the techniques are not always at a colorist’s fingertips. However, it is helpful to know what your inspiration may be. So where do you go from here? Ask yourself what it is that you dislike about your hair and what is it that you love about your hair. Write these down and share your thoughts with your colorist. What’s my WOW factor? Am I front and center, or do I want to be noticed for natural, subtle beauty? If you are ready for a change, big or small, a friendly “heads up” is always appreciated. For a busy stylist, it can help the appointment run a bit smoothly.

Photography by Danielle Guy

Make sure to ask your colorist: 1. How often do I need to get this color service done? Three to four weeks, or eight to ten? What fits your lifestyle? 2. How should I maintain it? At home color care is necessary to maintain your color investment. The last thing you want to do is invest a fair amount of money and have your beautiful color wash down the drain. Your beauty professional can prescribe an at home color care regime for optimum and long-lasting results. You should always get your professional color care system from a licensed colorist or color salon. If you want to know if there is a “good” color shampoo over the counter you can use instead, just look at what your colorist uses on her clients every day. As beauty professional, I have so many choices and if I thought they were the best for my customers I’d be using them everyday. Hair color is so much more than highlighting and covering grey. Today it’s about dimension and a variety of color hues to make hair glisten and shimmer and with today’s technology and updated products colorists are customizing hair color for their clients and having incredible results. Maybe it’s your time to take your journey. - Veronica Rogers

Facebook @VeronicaRogersBeautyProfessional Instagram @veronicarogersbpro

Consultation Steps 1. Determine Facial Shapes - Round, square, oblong, triangle,

upside down triangle, rectangular and oval. Also take into consideration the head shape and body proportion. Customize the hair color to achieve proper balance and perfect the facial shape. 2. Skin Tone and Eye Color - Skin tone determines the

primary color tone to use and eye color determines the secondary color to use when customizing hair color. • There are 3 skin tone shades: cool, warm and neutral. • Eye color is another great way to help customize hair color. • Blue eyes: cool, Brown eyes: warm, and Green eyes: neutral.

3. Lifestyle and Personality - Important factors in deciding

what type of color application and color placement.

4. Hair Type and Texture - Your colorist needs to know

what your hair story is for the past 3 years. It’s imperative to inform your colorist of all the color and texture services you have received, what styling or heat tools are used and how often and what products are used as well. I hope these hints are helpful and give you a little insight on the self tour of hair color!

Put on a Happy Face: 10 Reasons You Need to Have a Facial Far too often I hear this statement from future clients: “Once I lose this weight, I’m going to treat myself to a facial!” That’s great news and I love hearing it. You should reward yourself for reaching your goal. But my question is, why wait? A lot of clients still see a facial as a reward instead of a necessary treatment towards their overall health. Do you start eating healthy after you’ve been going to the gym for two months? Not likely. You probably view making healthier choices as something that goes along with making those workouts more beneficial. What if I told you that receiving a facial once a month could improve your overall health regardless of your weight, and can provide the extra boost you need to start making healthy choices? Here are 10 reasons why you should stop the “treats” and start with the treatments. 1. Lower Stress Levels In today’s fast-paced world, it’s difficult to set aside time for yourself. However, it’s important to pamper yourself every now and then (for both your physical and mental health). It’s also important for the sake of your skin, which can deteriorate due to stress. It’s been shown that stress can be a factor causing acne, as well as a range of other skin disorders. Facials are an excellent choice because they give you a much-needed chance to relax and calm yourself.

2. Treating acne and acne marks Suffering from acne is frustrating. Blemishes are sometimes painful and unattractive, and you can’t help but yearn for clear, spotless skin. Flawless skin is possible. But oftentimes, overwashing your face or trying an array of different products backfires and makes breakouts worse.

The products used during facials will be suitable for your skin type and will be properly applied after cleansing and will absorb accordingly. At the same time, exfoliation and extraction will clear out your pores, so that more pimples or blackheads don’t form. Studies have shown that coupling these treatments with chemical peels will provide clients with even better results. 3. Improve Blood Circulation When the blood vessels under the surface of your skin have poor circulation, it shows on your skin. Poor circulation can make you look sickly, and it prevents nutrients from enriching your skin tissues.

However, researchers have found that massage significantly improves blood circulation, blood flow, and vascular function. The massage component of a facial will improve blood flow under your facial skin and will help you look more vigorous and healthy. Other researchers have found that steam improves circulation, so it facilitates better delivery of oxygen and nutrients to keep skin cells

healthy. By receiving facial treatments in regular intervals, you can ensure that there is healthy circulation under your skin in the long-term. 4. Prevent skin aging As you grow older, your skin becomes more prone to oxidative damage from the accumulation of too many free radicals.

And they can lead to more inflammation and an older appearance. Similarly, there is a decrease in collagen production, so wrinkles and fine lines begin to form on your skin. Facials often make use of topical agents with anti-aging properties. These agents include antioxidants as well as cell regulators such as retinol. 5. Exfoliation Exfoliation means getting rid of the dead skin cells on the surface of your skin. These dead cells can pile up on the skin causing it to look dull, dry and rough. The buildup of dead skin cells can also lead to clogged pores, which are essentially blocked openings of hair follicles that cause acne, and unsightly blemishes. You can exfoliate your skin at home but seeing an Esthetician will give you maximum results. Exfoliating will help stimulate epidermal growth and collagen production. 6. Tighten Up As we age the skin on our face tends to loosen and becomes less defined. It is common to lose elasticity in your skin as you age, and the synthesis of collagen slows down. However, there are certain ways to boost collagen production, tighten up your skin, and get a more youthful complexion. The creams, lotions, facemasks, and chemical peels used during facials (whether botanical extracts or synthetics) have ingredients that help achieve this result.

Similarly, itchy clothing, harsh soaps, face washes, and medical conditions, such as diabetes, psoriasis, or hypothyroidism can also cause dryness. It’s important to properly moisturize your skin every day if you suffer from dry skin, but facials can be of great help, too. Dry skin is more prone to wrinkling and signs of aging, so facials will keep your skin soft, supple, and vibrant. 10. Treat Your Eye Areas During a facial, your skin will get a chance to be rejuvenated. The area around your eyes will thank you for your visit. You probably know just how unappealing dark under-eye circles, under-eye puffiness, or crow’s feet can look. They give you an aged, tired appearance and perhaps raise questions like, “Did you not get sleep last night?” It’s definitely not pleasant to hear such remarks, or even hear disappointment from within yourself when you catch your reflection in a mirror. These days, there are many products on the market that have been specifically developed to keep the area around your eyes bright and youthful.

Your skin is as important as any of your other organs, so you need to make sure you take care of it. However, you don’t have to empty your bank account on expensive products or treatments. The best of contemporary skin treatments are all included in a professional facial and we can discuss a treatment plan that’s right for you. As you can tell from all the benefits listed above, scheduling skin care services on a regular basis is a surefire way to nourish your soul and skin and improve your already beautiful appearance! - Emily Richards Esthetician at Alchemy Spa

7. Detoxify Your lymphatic system is a network of tissues and organs, which help your body dispel toxins, wastes, and other unwanted materials. It also helps purify and regenerate tissues. To filter out toxins and foreign substances (and keep your immune system strong), it’s imperative that your lymphatic system remains healthy and wellfunctioning. Facials now often include manual lymphatic drainage, which involves light massaging to reduce bloating and remove toxins. 8. Increase Absorption Abilities Yet another advantage of regularly indulging in facials is that it preps your skin to absorb other beauty products more effectively. You may have been spending a lot of time and money buying and trying out different skincare products. However, in order for these products to actually make a difference, they have to absorb deep into the skin to work their magic. But the truth is that these products often only superficially permeate the epidermis, so they don’t make much of a difference at all (especially when your skin is tough and doesn’t yield to the products you purchase). Facials help these products properly absorb by making your skin soft and supple. 9. Hydrate Many people have naturally dry skin, stemming from low sebum production or combination skin, with dry areas on some parts of the face.

Aside from a natural inclination towards skin dryness, other factors may cause your skin to lose moisture. Taking long, hot showers often allows people to relax and enjoy the hot stream of water, but it can compromise skin moisture. Photos By Ryan Pinkston, Hip and Humble Photography

UNVEILED Self-Care: The Key to Survival as a Modern-Day Woman I’m in the business of encouraging women—not just encouraging them to pose for sexy photos in their underwear but encouraging them to own their bodies and minds and emotional wellbeing. It all starts with a magical, painless exercise called self-care. Self-care is when you put yourself at the top of your to do list. A bubble bath doesn’t always cut it, and we can’t always afford a pedicure or a trip to the blow-dry bar. In fact, a lot of self-care activities are completely free—as long as you give yourself the time to do them—and they go far beyond looking your best. I like to think of self-care in four ways: physical, emotional, mental, and social. The key here is balance. You could go to the gym every day for a month and still feel like a hot mess. You could treat yourself to a monthly massage, nly to find yourself crying like a baby on the table. Here are some ways you can feed yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially. (Illustrations by Priscilla Rocha)

Physically

Emotionally

Do some stretches. Go to bed early. Hydrate. Eat a salad. Paint your nails. Have a solo dance party in your living room.

Write your feelings down. Talk to a friend (or a therapist). Look at old photos that make you smile. Hold a puppy.

Mentally

Socially

Turn off your phone. Read a book. Take a drive. Watch a documentary. Do a crossword puzzle. Visit a museum.

Call a friend. Set a lunch date (and don’t cancel). Join a club or support group. Volunteer. Make eye contact with a stranger.

Self-Care Survival Do you need a little push? Sign up for my 30-Day Self Care Challenge. You’ll get a daily reminder to take care of yourself, with a new activity to try each day. It’s completely free. All you need is an email address and a few minutes for you, yourself, and you. Visit unveiled-photo.com/self-care to get started. - Samantha McGranahan

SUPPORT YOUR FRIENDS’ BUSINESSES AND PROGRESSIONS LIKE YOU SUPPORT THE CELEBRITIES THAT YOU DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW

Color Story Studio When you bring art and design together, you get a beautiful backdrop to your business or event. I’m so excited to have you meet my friend, Sheena Birt, who I have had the pleasure to work with recently. She brings out the best in your business and has a unique design quality with focus on natural elements to be used in your display or space. - Yvette Morgan

Tell us what you do and your previous work background? I’m Sheena Birt, and I own Color Story Studio. Color Story Studio designs and creates handmade display and decor for retail, residential, and event spaces.

What is your earliest memory of creating? I was always a creative kid. I would set up my Barbie dolls and stuffed animals for photoshoots. I would tape drawings up all over my bedroom walls and invite my mom and sister to an “art show”.

I studied fashion design and fiber arts at the Savannah College of Art and Design, which led to a position at Anthropologie, the women’s apparel and lifestyle brand. After working 8 years for them creating everything from window displays to jewelry fixtures, to opening new stores and prototyping displays, I decided to leave the company and pursue other creative interests. The idea to start my own business did not come right away. It felt like such an “a-ha” moment to build a business around the thing I was already an expert at.

One of my favorite things to do was borrow housing floor plan books from the library. I would study the designs and draw my own version of a dream house. I sort of assumed this was something every kid did, but my husband lovingly assures me that this hobby was unique.

You can find my work in several places in Indianapolis including Kindred Boheme Collective, Lily & Sparrow Boutique, Tinker House Events, and Penn & Beech Candle Co. I continue to work for Anthropologie as a freelancer, and of course, you can find my work in Modern Charm and Millie & Maude.

Creativity and style are very important skills to have in your line of work...who and what inspires you? Rhea Thierstein has had an amazing set design and art direction career that ranges from editorial to commercial installations. Everything she does blows me away. Like most creatives, where I find inspiration is always changing. I tend to focus on why something is inspiring and what in particular I’m attracted to, whether that is a color palette, a texture, or an overall mood. When it comes to processing inspiration my workflow is to collect, categorize, edit, and harmonize until it feels like I’m telling the “right” story. What are your 3 must haves? • Good coffee • Tons of inspiration to reference • Enough sleep the night before What made you step out and start your own business? Five years ago, I would have never thought I’d have my own business. In fact, I would say point blank that it was too much responsibility and too risky. Today, I don’t deny that it’s risky and a ton of responsibility, but it’s also amazingly rewarding.

What experience will you be bringing your customers? My clients have great taste and a specific point of view regarding their home, business, or event. However, they may be lacking the time, expertise, or resources to create a certain look. My goal is to make their space be known for and reflect their unique aesthetic. I am so humbled that my clients trust me to do this. In the end, the work I create should blend seamlessly into the style of the space while also making the entire space more memorable.

What do you struggle with in your business? My biggest struggle in this season is work-life balance. I have started blocking off time for rest and days off on my calendar. On days off I try to completely disconnect from work and social media and spend quality time with my husband. This helps me to be more productive and focused when I am working. Some days itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to remember that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a marathon, not a sprint, but in order to avoid burnout I must prioritize my health. Do you have a creative Motto? This isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a motto, but more of a guiding principle: Look for projects that make you equal parts excited and terrified. These are generally the projects that stretch me outside of my comfort zone. What is next for you in 2018? So many things! We will be launching our first website, expanding into residential projects, taking on more retail clients, hosting creative workshops, and so much more! Follow along on Instagram @colorstorystudio. What advice would you give to the dreamers? Look into the Business Boutique book and podcast by Christy Wright. She gives amazing, practical advice to women interested in starting their own business. Also reach out to people doing the thing you want to be doing. Most people are happy to meet and chat to give advice and encouragement.

Jessica Rowe Photography

H S E R F D O FO T S FA

Sincerely, Millie

Don’t Harsh My Mellow

I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, because I feel like they’re never permanent. At the beginning of this year, I said to myself, “Self, what are you doing? You’re 41 years old and you need to make a change.” I had let stress and anxiety nearly take over my life, in turn, taking over my usually calm and happy personality. I allowed fear and resistance to sneak in entirely too much. Like, nearly every day. I waste way too much time, and still do, on social media. But I’m trying. I waste just as much time filtering through hundreds of emails daily, and not really prioritizing my time like I should. There are so many time-wasters that get in our way daily. That change needed to happen, pronto. Several years ago, I did A LOT of yoga. I was fit and fabulous at 30. I was healthy, strong, and calm. And then life got in the way. I had a baby, was focused on my career, the hubs was super busy at work, among other LIFE things that happened. It’s not an excuse (kinda). The thing is, life happens to all of us. We can’t control what we’re given, but we can control how we handle what we’re given. With all of the “life” that happens, even the devastation, nothing is wasted. The things that have happened to us get used and add some kind of value to our lives. Lessons, if you will. What I had to teach myself is to recognize those lessons and stop wasting time. STOP WASTING TIME. I’ve been reading a book that was actually a gift to the parishioners at church on Christmas, called Resisting Happiness*. I felt like this gift came at just the right time, because that’s exactly what I’ve been doing – resisting the things that make me happy. Not necessarily resisting in the way you would normally think of resistance, but instead of doing the things that would make me happiest, I was wasting time doing the non-important things… spending an hour or more in the morning staring at my phone, spending family dinner time texting people, sitting up in bed scrolling instead of reading an empowering book. Embarrassingly, at times, my daughter would take my phone away from ME. I have had to reprogram my thinking… what is important here? I’m trying to put ALL of our phones away during dinner and in the evenings and be present. I’m trying to read at night instead of look at my phone. And I’m trying to give myself time in the morning. Once I get my little one to school in the mornings, I have an hour or so to myself before I need to get ready for the day. This year, I’ve been spending that time meditating, praying, doing some yoga, and checking out my horoscope. It has grounded me in a way that I don’t think anything else could have. It helps me focus on what I need for the rest of the day, feeling like I’ve accomplished not only some calming exercises, but like I can tackle my ridiculous to-do list like a boss, doing what I love during the day, and focusing on those that I love when I’m home. Sometimes I feel like I’m still trying to find myself, to find my purpose here on this earth. While I’ll always be searching, with this newfound focus I feel like my search isn’t futile, and I know this year will be a good one. Sure, I still have some stress and anxieties. But with prayer and meditation, I know that God has my back. - Lori Mitchell

I’m no pro, but thought I’d at least share the apps I’ve been using for meditation and my horoscope. I usually start with 7s meditation, which is a quick 7 second reminder of how important you are. Then I use Aura, a 3-minute meditation to begin my breathing and relax a bit. I take a quick peek at my horoscope on Daily Horoscope, which gives me a snapshot of my day, the next day, week, and month. Finally, I do a ten minute or so meditation on Calm, which really sets me up for my day. I love it all but would love to hear from you if you use something else that you love! * Resisting Happiness by Matthew Kelly can be found at Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, and on Amazon.

C har med L ife The Year to Saying YES!!!

You heard me right...I’ve been thinking about this a lot since the New Year and thought this would be a great message to send out to all of you. Life is sometimes hard and filled with so much on our “TO DO” list that we often feel overwhelmed and exhausted because we say YES to everything and everyone except us. I know almost everyone can relate to that statement...right? I want to tell you something that you may never have heard before or just thought it was for successful, motivated women in the workforce, but I’m here to tell you that saying YES to life is where it’s at, so this year I’m only saying yes to things that will inspire me, help others or fulfill me. Ask yourself this question... Aren’t you sick and tired of only saying yes to obligations at home and the workplace? I know this first hand, because I did it for many years. I was a people-pleaser and wanted to belong. I didn’t recognize this right away, but because I was a single mom for most of my 20’s, I was used to doing it all. When I got married, things shifted in the best way possible, but with that comes more responsibility and pressure to be the best mom/wife and wearing many different hats. I know you all have been through this, so please listen on because I have found as I’m getting older and now very much into my late 40’s that none of that really matters... did you hear me? I spent many years trying to please everyone but myself, and I’m here to tell you that life is much sweeter on the other side. I’m not worried about who said what or trying to be someone I’m not. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin and feel confident with who I am. This little blog is for the women who are ready to start taking back their lives and start saying YES to life in a big way. I’m sure you have some friends that never put themselves first because they feel guilty about it. My hope is that you start saying yes to adventure, a trip with your girlfriends for the weekend, or taking a morning to have coffee with a friend. There’s nothing more important than taking time to invest in something that interests you and that you love. Most of us spend 3 hours or more a day watching TV or on social media and honestly, it’s a time sucker. Just think what you could do in that amount of time... you could try a new recipe for your family for dinner, exercise or try yoga/mediation, read more or start a book club, learn to paint, get out and explore a new restaurant you’ve been dying to try, or spend a quiet Sunday evening snuggled in bed with your children watching a movie. It really doesn’t have to be this big “Aha!” moment, but I think the more you practice saying yes to life, you will feel more fulfilled and enjoy the simple things that life has to offer. - Yvette Morgan

Photography by Samantha McGranahan

Art and Soul

When I first saw The Farm and Company come across my Facebook feed, I couldn’t get over just how pretty everything was. To her beautiful hand-painted signs, metal pieces, painted windows and bibles, to what seemed to be an almost overnight success, I knew we needed to do a story on Maria Schopmeyer. We were lucky enough to take a quick trip out to her quaint farmhouse shop and meet Maria in person and see firsthand why she’s so successful. - Lori Mitchell

Tell us about the Farm & Co. and what you do. The Farm & Co. is a small business located in Bowling Green, Indiana. We make hand-painted signs, metal signs, and farmhouse decor. What is your background in, and how did you decide to start the business? I didn’t go to any schooling past graduating high school. My husband and I got married the summer after I graduated. We started a family within the next year or so and we had planned for me to stay home and raise our babies. It was very important to us for me to be home with them, and we felt so blessed that Bryce had a job that allowed me to do so. However, I did feel as though I had more purpose, and repeatedly prayed intentional prayers that God would use me to glorify his kingdom using the gifts and talents he had given me. I believe this is how this business was started.

While home one day a friend of mine and I pulled some of the old windows out of the barn that we had saved from gutting the farmhouse. She had an idea of painting snowmen on them. I really enjoyed that, so over several more months I painted other scenes.

I decided I didn’t need to keep them all so I threw them on the Facebook yard sale site. They sold instantly and the business grew from there. I know your husband recently left his job to work with you. Tell us about making that decision – has it been a good one? After opening the store front at the farm in January 2017, things became a lot busier than we anticipated. We hoped to see 12 people a weekend, but soon after, we had anywhere from 50 to 80 people. We were shocked. With Bryce working a “real job” it was mostly on me to build and paint signs. Around this time, we also purchased a machine that cut my sign designs out of metal, and Bryce would work on this in the evenings. We were really being stretched thin. We knew we needed to make a change. That’s when we really began to feel that Bryce should come home to work full-time. I am not a risk-taker, so this is something I was really trying to avoid - I really didn’t want to be responsible if it didn’t work out. But we spent several months praying and believed it was God’s will for our business. It came down to taking a leap of faith and being obedient to God no matter the risk. We did that at the end of October

2017, and it has been the BEST decision so far. We work well together and it honestly gives us more structure. With a business at home it is easy to work constantly. We set new boundaries, like when our oldest child gets off the bus at 4pm, business stops. Where do you find the inspiration for your signs? The inspiration for my signs come from the people I meet, stories I’ve either read or heard, real life experiences, the Bible, past custom orders, Pinterest, and my own beliefs and interests! Tell us about your storefront, and the events you host in the shop? Our storefront is open Thursday - Saturday from 10 AM to 5 PM, January through July. Each week we restock the store with new sign designs. We occasionally have a fresh flower market in the old truck out front on the farm, have a food truck visit, or have a vendor set up in the barn yard. The first week in December each year we host an event we call the “Christmas Open House at the Farm”. We open the old farmhouse and storefront to have a large shopping event! How did you grow your private Facebook group to 12K members, and how do you continue to grow and advertise? My Facebook group has grown mostly from word-of-mouth. I really have the absolute best customers ever! They seem to support whatever event we put on, and are passionate about supporting small business. Do you sell online or set up at markets? Other than shopping at the store on the farm, you can find us at Bridgeton each year during the Covered Bridge Festival. If you’re not local, we have recently started selling online on our website, http://www.thefarmandcompany.com. How does your faith play into your business? My faith is everything in this business - an answer to a prayer in a way I never would have guessed. I will always give all the glory to God. I share my love for Him because I want others to establish a relationship with Our creator so they can experience the freedom and joy I have. What advice would you give someone wanting to start their own business? I would tell others wanting to start a business like mine to take risks, be patient, establish good relationships, be personable, and do you! How can our readers find you? The easiest way to follow what is going on with The Farm and Company is to follow us on our Facebook page The Farm & Co., on Instagram @thefarm_co or on our website!

Photography by Yvette Morgan

A Tale of Two Sisters It’s hard to write about jealousy and comparison these days because in this age of social media, it’s far too easy to get stuck in their traps. However, the traps are not a new thing. It’s just easier to see and get sucked in when everyone’s “differents,” “not enough,” “more thans,” and “betters” can be held in the palm of your hand or accessed by a click of the mouse. A long time ago in a book read by millions, well before the invention of social media, there lived two sisters that seemed to be ensnared in the comparison game. They found their way out due to some wise council from a beloved teacher and a deep love and respect for one another. Some say they were a sister missionary team. It seems that Jesus liked to follow Noah’s Old Testament lead and send folks out to share his words two by two. Many researchers believe this was the case with Mary and Martha. These gals were reportedly sisters and like a lot of sisters … they were very different. And like a lot of sisters there were some issues involving the green-eyed monster. Perhaps that is what was raising its ugly little head when Jesus came to have dinner with these gals on his way through Bethany in the Gospel of Luke.

at all and you are saying she’s doing the right thing!? But you see, Martha wasn’t doing wrong by serving. There was a need for her to serve. Mary wasn’t doing wrong by not helping. She needed to be listening. The issue wasn’t what the sisters were doing. The issue was their motivations. Jesus called Martha out because after doing his God-heart-checkthing, the one that only He can do, he found her motivation was out of whack. She was serving with a heart in need of getting something in return. She was serving and doing that mental game we do of talking to ourselves about what our sister is NOT doing and how amazing we are. Oh, don’t sit there and act like you’ve never done it. We all play out the entire scene out in our heads.

The contrast between the sisters is clear. We see Martha portrayed as your typical Type A doer of all the things. Make a list and check it off! Have a job that needs done? Call her. She is portrayed as an efficient and conscientious. That’s a good thing, right? Her sister, Mary comes across as more of a free spirit, content to leave the work to her sibling. A seeker of things that sooth the soul and make her better from the inside out. When you talk to women, they think that being a Mary is better than being a Martha. In the story that follow we see that that assumption may be off the mark. It wasn’t what the sisters were dong that matter. It was what was going on in the hearts. Jesus and some followers were headed through Bethany. The ladies invite them over for some good, old-fashioned hospitality. Martha is working like we expect a Martha would be and Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet. Martha sees an opening and lets out a little whiney, self-centered diatribe. Jesus, don’t you see me doing all this work?! Mary is not helping. Make her help! Martha doesn’t seem to mind the working, but she does seem to mind that her sweet sister is sitting on her rear sister, Jesus doesn’t answer the way Martha seemed to hope. He instead points something out about both women’s characters. He says that Mary has chosen the better thing. What? Mary is just sitting there. How is she choosing the better thing? I’m working here, Jesus. I’m working hard and serving hard and Mary isn’t helping

Photo by Grace Sarris

I’ll say this and she’ll answer that. I’ll go to Jesus and he’ll tell Mary to get off her lazy behind and help me in the kitchen. That’s not what happened He seemed to say Mary may not be helping, but WHY are you doing these things you do? Why are you even concerned with Mary and her actions? If it were today, Martha would have

waited until these guys cleared out and then started the Facebook and Instagram scan, looking for some acknowledgement of her spaghetti and meatballs or a picture of that chocolate cake with the hashtag #Martha!bestcookevah. She wasn’t doing the things that she did with no expectation. Mary was. Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus giving her heart best. She knew why she was doing what she was doing and expected nothing but a blessing. That was the better thing. It was the I’m here for the right reasons thing. So let’s get this straight: Martha wasn’t less. Mary wasn’t either. They were just different. They had different strengths and different weaknesses. Both had a lot to offer. They had even more to offer when they worked together. Fast forward to John where we meet these gals again. Their brother has just died. This time Martha goes out to meet Jesus. Her heart seeks Jesus before doing anything else. Hmmm, it seems she made a change here. Her heart change is choosing that better thing. She goes to Jesus. She acknowledges his greatness. She recognizes he is the Messiah; the first to do so. She asks hard questions. Mary, her sensitive sister, needs her to do this because the loss is so great. These sisters are acting as the team Jesus saw them to be. Martha is using her get- it-done spirit to help her sister. Mary does come out. She cries and Jesus performs a miracle because, well, Jesus is like that. The brother they lost was returned to them. I don’t think it was because the sisters figured things out. I think that what is happening with the sisters is a side story to the bigger story of Lazarus. The side story shows that very different women can change and grow and support each other. They can work together. They can no longer compare. They can grow past the need for complaining and one-upping and needing to be right. Bigger things are at stake than personal gains. Move forward one last time just to drive the we-need-each-other point home. This sister named Mary goes to a dinner with Jesus and the disciples. We aren’t absolutely for certain which Mary this is but

it most likely is our sister friend. She pours expensive perfume on the feet of Jesus and cleans his weary, traveler’s feet with her hair. This is a huge act of service. If this is our Mary ...she may have taken a cue her from the service focused Martha. These women stopped seeing their differences as shortcomings and took a cue from one another. They saw each other’s admirable qualities and learned from the other and assessed themselves to see how the two skill sets could dovetail together and just maybe they learned to be a little more like the other. Martha became more like Mary. Mary became more like Martha. But they both became more like Jesus. What’s the take-away from this tale of two sisters? It appears they were chosen to serve together. They brought different assets to the table. They learned not to compare and com-plain and become jealous after they heard Jesus explain the good thing…the “it’s not about you” thing. Heart things come first. Other people come first. Your sister comes first. Jesus and his work comes first. Serve together. Learn from each other. Be better together than you are apart. What could we do if we too listened to such teaching? Maybe we would stop being envious or critical of our opposites because they aren’t like us or they seem better than us. Maybe we would see that they are the perfect match for a project because they have something we lack or even better, something we could learn. This change in our thinking might help us to encourage others and celebrate their successes. Christ never said not to be a Martha. He never said only those with the qualities of Mary of Bethany are good. He said Mary chose the better or good thing; the lose your prideful jealousy thing. The message to us is clear. Lose the pride and critical spirit toward your sisters. It is in the way. These women learned from each other. They served together. They changed because there was no room for an envious, prideful heart. Who is your sister? Every woman is your sister. Instead of being envious, complaining or being stuck in an ugly place, be a Mary or a Martha because being a good sister is not about behavior. It’s about the heart. Be humble and kind. - Tracey Sarris

(Luke 10:38-42 New Living Translation (NLT)

(John 11:1-6 New Living Translation (NLT)

Jesus Visits Martha and Mary

The Raising of Lazarus

As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” 41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”) 38

A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. 2 This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair.[a] Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. 3 So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.” 4 But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.” 5 So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, 6 he stayed where he was for the next two days.) 1

continued on page 48

(John 12:1-11 New Living Translation (NLT) Jesus Anointed at Bethany Six days before the Passover celebration began, Jesus arrived in Bethany, the home of Lazarus—the man he had raised from the dead. 2 A dinner was prepared in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, and Lazarus was among those who ate with him. 3 Then Mary took a twelve-ounce jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard, and she anointed Jesus’ feet with it, wiping his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance. 4 But Judas Iscariot, the disciple who would soon betray him, said, 5 “That perfume was worth a year’s wages. It should have been sold and the money given to the poor.” 6 Not that he cared for the poor—he was a thief, and since he was in charge of the disciples’ money, he often stole some for himself.) 7 Jesus replied, “Leave her alone. She did this in preparation for my burial. 8 You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.” 9 When all the people heard of Jesus’ arrival, they flocked to see him and also to see Lazarus, the man Jesus had raised from the dead. 10 Then the leading priests decided to kill Lazarus, too, 11 for it was because of him that many of the people had deserted them and believed in Jesus.) 1

Photo by Grace Sarris

Breaking the Chains:

This quote comes to mind when I think of Victim to Victory: From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story that says “I SURVIVED”. What I love about Alicia Marks and her testimony is that she saw a need in the church and started the program herself, with the support of Pastor Billy Henry from The Bridge Church. She has brought so many women a second chance who have suffered mental, physical and emotional abuse. This ministry has helped break the chains that these women have been carrying with them for years. Breaking the silence is key to their recovery, and with God’s help, Alicia is using her experience to help these women know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. - Yvette Morgan

Tell us about yourself. I am a busy single mother of three amazing kids (Malaki, Brooklyn and Payton). I have worked in hospice care for the past few years, and I recently accepted a campus pastor position at my home church, The Bridge. I am the founder of the Victim to Victory group that will be celebrating three years of serving the community. I am in leadership in the Celebrate Recovery program, and I also am in my last semester of obtaining my first degree in criminal justice from Regent University. I am a graduate of the Mission Bible Training Center, which is a Christian residential program for those suffering from addiction and other emotional bondage. By God’s grace, on May 1, I will be four years clean from methamphetamines and alcohol, and have victory over abuse. What is Victim to Victory and how did you become involved in this ministry? Victim to Victory is a support group for anyone that has experienced physical or emotional abuse of any kind. This includes sexual assault, child abuse, molestation, and domestic abuse. We also have members dealing with the loss of loved ones, and we also support family members of those who have loved one’s in addiction or abusive relationships. Photography by Danielle Guy

We are a healing ministry that helps members commit to building their foundation on the word of God, and fully believes that Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation and true healing. Our goal is to love people with the same love that Christ showed us and be examples of a life transformed and healed through our deep relationship with our Savior. We show hope and restoration to those who desperately need to see it, and we commit to always putting others above ourselves. We believe Jesus can heal abuse and empower us to forgive those who have hurt us. Our greatest desire is to see others restored and giving their lives to Jesus. We offer our lives as workers for the kingdom so that others may know Christ, grow as disciples, and then go share the gospel with others. We know that God has called us to reach hurting people, and we offer support for families and individuals, no matter their background or experience. I began this ministry because my family had past experiences in abuse and addiction that nearly overtook my family. I survived two very bad domestic abuse relationships, and my daughter was a molestation victim between the ages of 6 and 7. The journey after finding out my daughter’s molestation was long and painful. Many times, we felt alone and unsure if we could get through it. The court proceedings were traumatic for her and our family, and our lives began to be ripped apart with little hope. Luckily, once my addiction hit bottom, I decided I couldn’t live in my anger and rage any longer, and that’s when I went to the program. While there, I learned forgiveness, and that I could have victory now because of my relationship with Jesus. When I graduated, I knew that God had called me

Victim to Victory

to give back what he had so graciously given me. I wanted victims in our community to have a place where they could come and know that their voice mattered. Most importantly, I wanted them to know that being a victim didn’t have to define them, and that they aren’t alone on their journey to healing. Victim to Victory wanted to change all the stigmas and opinions of others about victims and show the world that we can be strong and victorious! What is your mission and goals for 2018? Our goals are to continue to serve the community with the same passion we have always had, and to reach those that are hurting and trying to break free. How many women attend your weekly meetings? On average, there is 10 to 25 members every Thursday. Over the past few years, we’ve had 150 - 200 woman (and a few men) attend our meetings. How can someone get involved or attend? Just show up! We meet every Thursday. We have combined for the first hour at 7 p.m. with Celebrate Recovery because a lot of our members are dealing with addictions and other issues that they need to be set free from as well. By doing this, they are getting two great meetings in one night. The last hour, from 8 – 9 p.m., is the Victim to Victory small group. We have www.facebook.com/victim2victory as well, where someone can send a private message. They can also call the Bridge Church office if they want more info! How does Victim to Victory get its funding? Giving members, donations, and the support of The Bridge Church. What is the long-term goal for the women that go through this program? The goal is for the members to find healing and freedom, and then move on to their callings in service in ministry. Forgiveness is key for these woman, and we spend a lot of time helping them learn their identity in Christ. We believe every person has an amazing purpose, and our goal is to see them believe that within themselves.

The most important thing for me when it comes to this ministry is seeing so many come to a personal and saving relationship in Christ. Victim to Victory has given me the ability to see miracles and hope restored to so many in our community. My daughter has found great strength in knowing that God could turn her fight to overcome molestation into a powerful ministry. Women see that if a child can stand up and speak out, that they can too. This journey has given our family so much healing and showed us that our worst tragedies can be our biggest blessings. We have learned that strength comes from living a self-less life of service for others. How do you get the women to break down the walls and break their silence? Many of the members in our group have never felt like they could talk about their abuse, or that their voice mattered. Many think that they are alone, and that no one cares. Most of the time when new members come in they always say they aren’t ready to talk about. Within ten minutes of other members sharing their stories and showing their courage, the members that said they weren’t ready begin to pour their hearts out. They have been waiting a long time to find somewhere that understands and people that make them feel comfortable, without judgment. The love the group has for one another truly has a powerful impact on tearing down the built-up walls of shame that victims have. We just offer a safe space of encouragement, and the Holy Spirit does the rest of the work. What is your turnover rate? And how many women have been clean and sober to date? We have not kept track of names in the past due to confidentiality. We keep track of numbers that attend and have a secret Facebook page for those that are willing to be added. We do have some that go back to their situations like any recovery ministry does. However, the number of those still walking in victory is amazing. Every week, one or two of our members receive a token that celebrates periods of victory. Our leadership team has members that have anywhere from six months to 18 years of time clean from addiction, or abusive and toxic relationships.

Is it a 12-month program? Because everyone’s circumstances and experiences are different, as well as, their rate of growth, we do not put a time on participation in the program. Some woman find their healing and move on to other ministries and opportunities, and many choose to stay and serve as leaders within our group. Who are the women that attend the meetings (background/social economic)? We have all members from all backgrounds/ social economic. Abuse doesn’t discriminate, and this reality is clear in our members that come from all walks of life. I’m sure you’ve seen firsthand how this group has changed lives. What do you get out of this ministry and how has it changed you and your family?

Brave Mom's Clu b

Last year when I was able to listen to Lindsay’s testimony at church, I was in awe of her strength and bravery. I know as you read her story you’ll be amazed, too, of how this young woman was able to endure heartache and still put her trust and her faith and back into her family. - Yvette Morgan Tell us about your family and what you do? My husband, Kyle, and I have been married for over seven years. We met during our freshman year of high school at Terre Haute South. We started dating when we were 15 and have been together ever since. We were both born and raised in Terre Haute, and are proud to call this our home. Our son, Cooper, was born in April of 2014 and our son, Griffin, was born in July of 2016. We have a 6-year-old boxer named Ramona, and she is a huge part of our family. We love to be outside and just love to do active things as a family. We really value the time we get to spend together, whether it is taking a road trip or just hanging out at home.

My husband is a Terre Haute police officer and loves serving and protecting our community. I have an elementary and special education degree and was a teacher in the Vigo County School Corporation for five years. After having Griffin, I took a year off to stay home with him. I have learned that time is precious and also goes very quickly, so I have decided to stay home for now so I don’t miss out on any of these sweet memories. I watch a couple of other children in my home, and I also started an online business. My online business was started in memory of my son, Cooper, and it’s called “The Blue Heart.” I make banners and décor for birthdays, showers, and other occasions. I also personalize and make wooden step stools, and have recently started making shirts, as well. Life is very busy, but I am enjoying every minute. I know you had a very special relationship with your mom. Can you tell our readers what she was like and your relationship you had with her before you found out about her diagnosis?

My mom and I had one of those relationships that you just can’t put into words. If you saw us together, you knew how special it was. I am the youngest of three and the only girl, so my mom and I have been lifelong best friends. She had a love for her family that was truly special. She had the best sense of humor and was always such a good sport with my brothers’ jokes. My mom was the sweetest person and had the most caring and giving heart. She was one of those people that you felt like you had known forever the moment you met her. She just had a way about her that made you feel loved and comforted. She always had the best advice and the right words to say to make everything better. She was a secretary at Sarah Scott Middle School, and she was the person the kids went to if they needed something, or if they forgot their lunch money because they knew they could always count on her. My brothers and I all had a friend live with us at some point in our lives because our parents were so welcoming and generous. My mom loved having the house full and everyone loved being at our house. I’ll never forget when my mom started to have some health issues and she was worried about what was wrong. After weeks of appointments, procedures and misdiagnoses, we found out on December 19, 2011 that my mom had a rare, fast growing cancer called Burkitt’s lymphoma. I remember walking into my parents’ house after my mom called to tell me the news. She was sitting on the couch in her cozy robe and I just fell into her arms crying. I was so scared, and I didn’t know how I was going to handle watching her go through what the next months would hold. My mom remained so positive. She never showed fear, and she was offering words of comfort to us as she was enduring this illness. She spent most of the next several months in the hospital undergoing very intense chemotherapy. She would only get to come home for short breaks between treatments. I spent every moment I could next to her bedside. I very clearly remember a conversation I had with her after a rough second round of chemo. I told her that I was so scared I was going to lose her and I didn’t know how I could live without her. She very quickly told me how strong I was and that I would be just fine. She continued to fight the most courageous battle I have ever seen, and we were told in early May 2012 that she was cancer free. I’ve never been more relieved or joyful as I was that day. I was going to have my best friend back. We were going to be able to do all the things we used to do. She was going to be able to meet my future children, something she wanted more than anything. Our joy quickly faded when the cancer came back with a vengeance. On May 19, she was transferred to St. Francis in Indianapolis. The cancer had returned in her central nervous system and she was paralyzed from the waist down. She still didn’t give up hope, and she was ready to fight again with a positive attitude. My brothers and I would take turns driving over daily to visit her. Mom’s health began to decline even more in mid-June. I’ll never forget answering a phone call from my dad early in the morning on June 19, 2012, telling me that my mom had passed away. I was crushed and didn’t know how to even think about moving forward.

What is the one thing you miss most about her? I miss every single thing about my mom. I miss her advice and her words of wisdom. I miss our little shopping trips and our monthly pedicures. I miss picking up the phone to call her about every little thing, because I knew she cared even if it was insignificant. I miss her sense of humor and her amazing laugh. I miss her yummy chocolate chip cookies and her signature macaroni and cheese. I miss the way she would play with my hair to help me relax. I miss her positive outlook on life. I miss her hugs. Most of all, I miss everything that could have been. I think every single day how different my life would be if she was still here. She would be head over heels to be a grandma. She would be there to help me through this journey of motherhood. I miss her every second of every day. Can you tell our readers about Cooper and how you found out you were pregnant? Shortly after my mom’s diagnosis, Kyle and I started trying to get pregnant. Things didn’t happen as quickly as we had hoped, and we ended up having to go to a fertility doctor. In August of 2013, our favorite nurse called to tell us our IUI had been successful and we were pregnant! We were so excited to begin this new journey. It gave us hope and a feeling of joy again after losing my mom. We couldn’t wait to share the news with our families. We bought our dog, Ramona, a t-shirt that said, “big sister.” We dressed her in it and drove her to visit our parents and siblings to share our good news. My pregnancy with Cooper was awesome. Everything went really smoothly, and I loved being pregnant. We had a gender reveal party at our house with our family in December, and we cut into a cake to reveal that the cake was blue! We were having a baby boy and we would name him Cooper James. Towards the end of my pregnancy, we had some minor issues, so I was induced at 38 weeks. He was everything we had dreamed of, and we fell deeply in love with him the second we laid our eyes on him. He was the most chill and relaxed baby, and we loved being parents. Kyle was blessed with family medical leave time from work, and we spent each day as a family and enjoyed every moment. Lyndi B. Photography

What was Cooper diagnosed with after taking him to Riley Hospital, and how old was he at the time? Cooper had his two-month vaccinations on June 30, 2014, and we knew something wasn’t quite right afterwards. He became a different baby. He was extremely irritable or very lethargic, and there was no in-between. We took him back to the doctor on July 9, and they did a direct admit to Riley Children’s Hospital for failure to thrive. We spent the next five days working with several teams of doctor and undergoing many tests to see what was wrong with Cooper. We were sent home after five nights.

That first night home was a long night of crying, and the next day, Cooper began to struggle to breathe. We ended up in the emergency room, where we were sent back to Riley. A sleep study showed some abnormal results, so they immediately sent him for a MRI of his brain. That night, about 15 doctors piled into our room to tell us that Cooper was very sick. They knew he wasn’t going to live, and we didn’t have a definitive diagnosis, but they knew he had a degenerative brain disease. We didn’t know how long we would have our precious baby, but we quickly had to make many decisions that no parents should have to make for their child. We spent the next two days snuggling our sweet boy. Our family surrounded us during this time. Cooper went to heaven on July 19, 2014. He was two days shy of being three-months-old.

The next year was full of many unknowns, what-ifs, and genetic testing. We found out near what would’ve been Cooper’s first birthday that he had Aicardi-Goutieres Syndrome (AGS1). It is an extremely rare genetic disease that affects less than 500 children in the world. We then had genetic testing done on ourselves and found out that my husband and I are both carriers of this disease, which is also extremely rare. After losing Copper, what support did you have and how has your faith been restored? After losing Cooper, we had an amazing support system to help us during our darkest moments. Our family was there for us whenever

we needed them. We joined a bereavement group in Clay County for parents who have lost a child. It was extremely helpful for us, and we created lasting relationships with many other grieving parents. We joined a C-group with other young couples to try to grow deeper in our faith, and they have become some of our closest friends through this journey. My husband and I grew stronger and closer than ever during this deep time of grief, and we helped each other through our toughest days. After many months, we met with our friends, Billy Joe and Lynn, to chat about Cooper and our loss. They invited us to come to their church, The Bridge. Kyle and I decided to give it a try; we had nothing to lose at this point. We fell in love with the church, and it seemed like every week the sermon was written for us. God was definitely speaking to us. I felt that I needed to do everything I could on this earth to make sure I get to spend eternity in heaven and see my mom and son again one day. I got baptized in May of 2015. My faith was all that I felt I had to stand on, and I knew I wanted to be the best person I could be for my mom and Cooper. If you could describe your life in one word, what would it be?

If I had to describe life in one word, I would say that it is ever-changing. Whether it is negative or positive, something is always happening to cause a change. I have learned at a young age through these significant losses that you can choose how to handle and/or respond to every situation thrown your way. In an ever-changing life, I try my best to be as positive of a person as I can. I want to help; I want to make a difference. My mom was my hero, and she taught me so much about being a good person. I think of her every morning as she would tell me, “You can choose to have a good day or a bad day. Make it a good one!” How have you integrated your loss into your everyday life? Loss is a part of my everyday life. It is not something that will go away. It is a part of who I am, and it has changed me. I would like to say I am a better person because of what I’ve gone through. We also try to honor our loved ones we have lost, to keep their memories alive. We talk about mom and Cooper all the time, because we want Griffin to know them, even though he never got to meet them. We have special books about them with lots of pictures. We celebrate their birthdays and have special traditions during the holidays. What does the word “hope” mean to you? Hope to me means having something to live for. I have hope for an eternity in heaven with my loved ones. If I didn’t have that hope, it would be a struggle to make it through each day. How has loss changed you? My loss has shaped me into the person I am today. When you are in the midst of loss, you often think, “why me?” Why did I have to lose my mom? Why did I have to lose my son? Why do we have to be faced with genetic disorders that can affect future children? As more time passes, I begin to see more and more of the bigger picture. God has a plan for everything. Cooper’s life mattered. He is still making a difference even three years after he has been gone. I strive to live each day to the fullest. Each moment is precious. I have learned through loss not to take anything for granted, and it has changed my perspective on many things. I also strive to keep my mom and Cooper’s memories alive. We do many things to honor them and try to do good for others in their memories. What kind of grief support did you find most helpful and what advice would you give to someone going through a loss?

Life was very tough for quite some time after losing Cooper. We weren’t really sure what to do or how to help each other through the pain. We met with a couple of different counselors, but just didn’t

feel like anything was working. Attending the bereavement group in Clay County was the best thing we could have done. Surrounding yourself with people who know exactly the pain you are feeling was very helpful in our healing. I now lead a Grief Share at our church to help people that are grieving the loss of a loved one. My biggest advice to someone dealing with a loss would be to get support. It’s not something you should try to face on your own. Also, just try to find things that make you happy. For me, I feel close to my mom and Cooper when I am in nature. I love being outside. I also have found healing in doing things that give me a sense of accomplishment, such as painting a room or tackling a project. Tell us about Griffin and how he’s changed your outlook on life now, and what the future holds for you and your husband?

Griffin is our rainbow baby. He has brought us so much joy. I always say that God knew just what our hearts needed when he sent Griffin to us. He makes us smile and laugh every day. He has a smile that could light up the room, with two big dimples. We say his dimples are a kiss from his Nana Mel and big brother Cooper. He has given me a reason to live fully again. I am so blessed to be able to stay home with him, so I don’t miss out on anything. He loves to play and is always on the move. He is also super sweet and has become quite a mommy’s boy, which I can’t be mad about! Kyle and I hope to be able to have more children in the near future. Right now, we are just living life for each day and trying to be the best parents we can be. Photo by Lynsey Camp Evans

Alive and Thriving I’ve been on a medical journey for the past two years. My mind, body and soul are absolutely exhausted. So, when thinking about my word of the year for 2018, I knew I wanted it to represent a peace and calm I hadn’t felt in quite some time. After doing some brainstorming, I decided on the word “nourish”— to provide with food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition. After all of the sickness, all of the toxins pumped into my body, all of the unwanted emotions, anxiety, guilt, etc., I set off to become a healthier, happier, more relaxed me!

I wanted to share a few of the products that are helping me nourish my mind, body and soul everyday!

Aveeno nourishing body wash

My “plan” was to practice yoga everyday, find peace in each moment, find time to do the things I enjoy like writing, reading, playing my Uke, and learning how to work my new camera.

Underarmed natural deoderant

But guess what? By the end of January, I had put so much pressure on myself to do these things, I was stressing out ab o u t n o t g e ttin g to t he m . And instead of showing myself grace, I began beating myself up and overcommitting myself in exhausting wa y s . I w a s d o i n g t h e E X A C T OPP O S I T E o f w h a t I s e t o u t t o accomplish. I’m guessing many of you can relate! It was time to regroup. Encouraged by my dietician, the word nourish began to take on a new meaning: self-care.

Fresh Thyme peppermint/lavender lotion

Paul Mitchell lavender mint shampoo and conditioner

“Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young is my morning devotional.

Arbonne Women’s balance for hot flashes and medical menopause

Element am/pm yoga for beginners. I love both sessions

“An empty lantern provides no light. Self care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.” ~Piper Larson I’m working on being kind to myself, and trying to make good food choices, and taking in all the beauty of the world around me. I need to be reminded often to slow down, to say no, to let it go. That’s all part of the process. And so this is what I will keep telling myself. - Nicole Osborne

Harney and Sons peppermint tea

NOW essential oils: peppermint/lavender/ clean the air Contitgo ceramic lined travel mug that keeps my lemon water ice cold all day

Scentsy diffuser for sleeping

Get Writing: Leah’s Thoughts So many of us love to write – or want to start writing on a regular basis – but we never seem to put pen to paper (or keyboard strokes to the computer). While I have been writing for most of my life, it was not until I took a writing class several years ago that I received some helpful advice to get me writing regularly.

I’m not suggesting you quit your day job tomorrow in order to write. But if you feel as if you’re not writing or you’re holding back your potential, look at other aspects of your life and see if those things need changing so your mind and time can open up to writing.

Before I share the writing tips with you, let me emphasize that writing can be anything. It could be a personal blog post or article for your business website. It could be writing a piece to submit to a community organization’s newsletter. It can be creative writing or a non-fiction memoir you’ve been toying with writing.

3. Writing memory is essentially writing fiction. This tip is for those of you wanting to write a novel but cannot picture yourself as a fiction writer. I never considered myself a fiction writer. I didn’t think I had the creativity and imagination to come up with characters, plots and ideas to support a novel. I thought of myself as a writer of memoir, facts or my opinions.

So to get you writing, here are three tips I personally practice, and pass along to others when people tell me they want to write more. 1. Carry with you at all times a writer’s notebook. Always carry with you 24/7 a small notebook or pad to write down ideas or inspiration. So if you come up with a great idea while driving, you write it down (hopefully pulling over to do so). This helps you avoid the inevitable, What was that great idea?, when you get home. My writer’s notebook is a small, simple black leather reporter’s notebook with my initials embossed on the cover. I’ve also grown quite fond of the “Notes” feature in my iPhone. But don’t think you have to get that fancy. A simple steno pad or Evernote works just fine too. 2. If you want to write but don’t have time, you must sacrifice something to write. For many people, this can mean giving up an hour of television or surfing the web at night. When I changed my “day job” to one where I wrote all day for a living, I felt as if my mind and brain have opened up. I was in my element, playing to my strengths. So in a sense, I “sacrificed” one job for another that allowed me to write.

But a writing instructor said something that gave me an “a-ha” moment. She said that everyone has different memories of common experiences. This is why in families, you may remember an experience completely differently from your siblings or mother. Those memories are individual ideas, are subjective, and are true only to ourselves. Hence writing our memories is essentially fiction writing. I’d never thought this way before and for the first time, actually envisioned writing a work of fiction based on my memories (changing names and identifying details, of course). So there you have it — three writing tips that have changed my writing process and outlook. If you want to spend more time writing, I encourage you to at least take one of these tips and start practicing them. You will be surprised at how quickly it will become a habit. Happy Writing! - Leah R. Singer

Get more writing advice on Leah’s website – leahrsinger.com

CHAARG into a Healthy Lifestyle! CHAARG has been liberating girls on campuses from the elliptical machine since 2012. Meet Hannah Rose, the CHAARG ambassador for ISU. She is a dancing queen, inspiration addict and lover of positive vibes. Read on to see what this chapter does in our local college community, and exactly what CHAARG is all about. - Yvette Morgan

Can you introduce yourself to our readers and let them know what CHAARG stands for? I am Hannah Rose, the ambassador for CHAARG at Indiana State University, and we are Indy State CHAARG! CHAARG stands for Changing Health Attitudes and Actions to Recreate Girls. We are one of 50 chapters of CHAARG across the nation!

How did you get involved in this movement and how has it changed you? I learned about CHAARG during the fall semester of my junior year of college when I started doing the fall fit plan with one of my hometown best friends that goes to Ball State University and is a member of CHAARG at her university. At first, I was only in it for the workout regimen, but as I looked more into what CHAARG was all about—that it was more than just workouts, it is a movement dedicated to empowering women through health and fitness, self-love, and positive vibes—I knew I had to bring this incredible organization to ISU! Do you have to be a member? In order to fully experience all of what CHAARG has to offer, we encourage women to make their CHAARG women status official and become a member of Indy State CHAARG. What is a CHAARG Ambassador and how could someone get more information? A CHAARG Ambassador is the liaison between National CHAARG and their university. They serve as the president of their CHAARG Chapter [a student organization at their university] and the leader of their Executive Team. They live and breathe the CHAARG mission, and have a passion for empowering girls to embrace a happy and healthy lifestyle. Most importantly, they want to inspire girls to #JoinTheMovement. Check out chaarg.com for more information on becoming an ambassador!

What is your role, Hannah, to encourage young women to take care of themselves? My role as ambassador of CHAARG at Indiana State University is showing women that fitness can and should be fun! Every woman’s health and fitness journey is their own, but with CHAARG, they have a community of women that are all on the same mission of empowering themselves through this personal journey. Together, we try new styles of workouts every week. Women bond and learn to love themselves and their bodies through our small group workouts and body positive social events.

This is your body and your life! You should be fearless as you explore and discover who you are and what you love! Health and fitness, and the movement of CHAARG, are great ways to do just that. What type of events do you do to get the young ladies involved? We team up with local instructors and fitness studios to host weekly “Studio Spotlights.” These events are an opportunity for our CHAARG girls to sweat and smile as they tackle new styles of workouts together. We have tried yoga, CrossFit, boxing, Pulse, and much more. These aren’t just workouts, but a weekly opportunity to discover something new that you may really love about health and fitness!

We host various social events for our women to bond and get to know their fellow Indy State CHAARG members. For example, in February we hosted a Galentine’s Day event for our beauties to treat themselves to something sweet, and to enjoy some girl time as they watched classic rom-coms and painted canvases! Small Groups are another way we engage our members to connect and sweat with each other! Each week our members meet up with their small group and crush a workout together on campus. Whether they are a part of the Monday 6 a.m. crew or on the FRIYAY Squad, they’re smiling, sweating, and getting stronger together! In March, we hosted our largest social event yet, Love Your Body. We served free food and showed the documentary, Straight/Curve, and talked about redefining your body image. Finally, each semester we have an amazing FitPlan, brought to us by the CHAARG national team. The plan is a five-week program of workouts, recipes, meditation and self-love challenges. We also stay connected with the national community through our inCHAARG Instagram community!

What type of success stories have you seen? I have seen and spoken to so many women that have been positively impacted by this movement. One women, who struggled with an eating disorder for many years, joined Indy State CHAARG and spoke of learning to love her body and feeling strong and beautiful! The community of women kept her positive and motivated to love herself! She has found a love for weight training and is proud to treat herself to a little something sweet. She’s learned the beauty of balance. The stories of strength and self-love are my personal favorites. What’s the best thing about being a member? The community of women! Our members are the most positive spirited, supportive, smiley, fearless girls on campus! They are always ready to team up and crush a new style of workout together or go on a girl’s date to treat themselves to a little fro-yo. Their energy is so contagious! They keep me constantly smiling and inspired to continue to discover who I am through this journey. I truly have made some of the greatest friends through this organization. There is just something special about being a CHAARG girl!

How to you keep the ladies motivated? We utilize social media a lot! We post motivational quotes on our Twitter and Facebook pages, share inspirational stories of self-love with our private Facebook group, and comment something positive and supportive on a fellow CHAARG girl’s #sweatyselfie post via her inCHAARG Instagram. We are always motivating each other!

Strength in the Singleness What’s so wrong with being single? Society has repeatedly told us that part of being happy relies on being in a “cute relationship.” Does #relationshipgoals ring a bell? Who doesn’t adore the cute couples on Instagram that seem to go so well together? We should feel happy for them, but instead we feel sorry for ourselves because they seem to have life all figured out. But I am here to tell you something: Society does not have to dictate what makes us happy. You can be happy with who you are regardless of whether you’re single, taken, or somewhere in-between. Let me repeat that. You can be happy with who you are regardless of relationship status. I know it’s difficult to go against the flow of the popular opinion, but it just might be greatly affecting your level of happiness. I want to make it clear that I have nothing against anyone who is in a happy relationship. But I think it’s time that we stop embellishing the necessity of relationships when the truth of the matter is that not every girl has found her Prince Charming. The truth that no one tells you is that jumping into unhealthy relationships to avoid being single is worse than having no significant other at all. My mother once told me that it’s better to want what you don’t have, than to have what you don’t want. Seemingly, to have a person with whom you can take cute pictures to post on social media has become the new standard of what is a so-called “perfect relationship.” The relationship may seem pictureperfect through the screen, but no relationship is without problems. Everyone has their flaws and every relationship has their fair share of trials and tribulations. So let me tell you why being single doesn’t have to be a bad thing. First, you can use the time of singleness to grow in your faith. Maybe you’re not a religious person, but at the very least, you can use the time to focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Second, you can grow in your confidence as an individual. Unfortunately, confidence is something so many women lack because we depend so highly on society’s expectations. It’s sad, but I’ll be the first to admit that I have let the fear of judgment hinder me from reaching my full potential. Use the time of singleness to grow in your understanding of worth and contentment with who you are. I live by the concept that everything happens for a reason. It give me peace that while some things seem overwhelmingly difficult in the moment, in time, I can be confident that it will prove to be working for the greater good. If you’re single, do not worry. It will all work out. If you just broke up with someone, then it’s happened for a reason and that, too, will work out. For all my single friends out there, the right person will come along at just the right moment. Whether it’s to strengthen your confidence or build friendships in your life, there is a purpose for the season of singleness. Don’t worry if you aren’t dating anyone right now or if you haven’t dated in quite some time. I have many friends who are in long-term relationships, getting married, engaged, etc. And I won’t lie; it sometimes feels like I’m missing out or lagging behind. But those thoughts are simply not the truth. No one is behind if they haven’t found their soulmate yet. In fact, everyone is writing his or her own story at his or her own pace. Being single can be a beautiful, yet very challenging time. But we’ve all been there. It can be hard, it can feel frustrating and it can seem lonelier than we had hoped. But keep in mind that you can find your strength in the singleness. When you look hard enough, you will find it. You’re stronger than you know. - Lydia Collins

HAUTE SYCAMORES

Product Junkie Hello world! I hope everyone is having a great 2018 so far! I know I am! But I am SO over the cold now, because my skin is dried out and it’s not the most comfortable feeling in the world. I just want to wear my cute overalls and my grey velvet top with my white converse and enjoy a nice glass of wine at Sycamore Winery. A couple of months my favorite blogger, Ingrid Nilsen (definitely check out her vlogs on YouTube) had a “24 Days of Christmas” giveaway. Ingrid was giving away beauty products from Too Faced to Urban Decay to Dior and my goodness, she was such a kind soul for doing so. All you had to do was either share her posts on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or whatever creative idea she had. So, I was lucky enough to win her Tatcha giveaway set and I am OBSESSED with the products I received.

I don’t know about you, but I have the worst skin when it comes to the cold. By that I mean, it is dry. Luckily, Tatcha’s Normal to Dry Skin beauty products saved my life. All of Tatcha’s products are inspired by Japanese culture. Check out their website to learn more! Although, these products are a little pricey for what they hold, I still think it’s worth a purchase or two. I’ll share a few of my favorites (most of these products are travel sized). My favorite is Tatcha’s Pure One Step Camellia Cleansing Oil. The original price of this product is $15. Not only does this product hydrate your skin, BUT it also removes your make up while helping your skin feeling soft and smooth. Definitely an all-time favorite of mine! I find it so satisfying to remove make-up. It’s like removing a mask and it feels so good after a long day of trying to look presentable.

Another great product that I am in love with is Tatcha’s Ageless Revitalizing Eye Cream. This product is worth the $29. I have bags like no other because I could never get myself into a perfect sleeping schedule. My body wants to sleep but my mind is so awake… I know this happens for everyone. Not only are bags an issue, but I feel like my eyes don’t look awake even when I’m awake. I apply just a small shmear of this under my eyes and in the corner to help brighten my eyes. It adds more “plump” with my eye make-up. I recommend this if you’re looking a little tired and worn out.

Sharing one more because I think this product is fun to use… It’s called Tatcha’s Polished Classic Rice Enzyme Powder. This product costs $65. Why is this fun you ask? Well, you mix this powder with water and stir until it forms a foam. I’m such a kid, but making foam is so soothing to me! I know, I’m weird. After you create the foam, you apply it to your face and it makes such a difference after you wash it off. It opens your pores and smooths your skin to feeling super soft. Who knew foam could do such wonders! - Marissa Martinez

“From Japan with love, just blooming.” - Tatcha

HAUTE SYCAMORES

Making an Impact If you’ve walked down South 7th Street in downtown Terre Haute in the last year, you’ve likely seen a new business as you stroll close to Wabash Avenue. RJL Solutions opened in 2017 with the goal to partner with communities, corporations, and organizations who want to make a larger impact in their community, state, and nation in areas that represent their mission. At the helm of RJL Solutions is Rachel Leslie. Rachel sat down with Haute Life to answer a few questions about herself, her company’s mission, and what she sees as Terre Haute’s biggest assets. - Leah Singer

Tell us about yourself and RJL Solutions. My husband and I are both from Terre Haute. We believe in this city and the region, and we have a passion for this community. I worked for the Terre Haute Chamber of Commerce for seven years, which was my first job after college. It was there I really fell in love with community development and understanding the importance of a healthy business community and what that means for the entire region.

I started full-time as Partner with RJL Solutions in 2017. We do many things for organizations, and it varies depending on what the needs are for each company, organization, or municipality. There’s a unique path to success with every business or organization we work with. Often times one might reach out because they have a specific issue or need that results in bigger conversations by working with state and federal leaders to advance their vision.

After I left the Chamber, I went to Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College to create an external relations department. The Office of External Relations was responsible for developing strategic relationships on behalf of Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College. External Relations integrated the efforts of several functional areas for the purpose of developing a comprehensive program to strengthen SMWC’s position locally, state-wide, and nationally. There, I was able to see how local universities impact the community. In addition, I was able to witness how higher education feeds the workforce needs and plays such an integral role in the economic vitality of any place.

Right now, I’m not taking on political candidates as clients. My goal today is to move the community forward and find ways to do that. My clients today are in the areas of county government, healthcare, retail, small business, and higher education.

Over those two jobs, I formed great relationships with lawmakers and individuals in Indiana and in the region. I realized that our region didn’t have a full-time advocate working alongside our lawmakers to advance our needs and opportunities.

Photography by Danielle Guy

I also serve on the Terre Haute Chamber of Commerce board. I’m the treasurer of the Terre Haute Regional Airport Board, and Vice President of the National Center for Complex Operations Board at the state level. Your goal is to move the community forward. Where do you think Terre Haute is now, and where should it go? When I started benchmarking other areas across Indiana, I realized we (West Central Indiana) don’t have a regional approach to success like other communities are doing. That is our biggest opportunity we have in Terre Haute and within the surrounding counties. This is a great

place to live, and we do have excellent quality of life measures. We have things other places in Indiana don’t have. If we’re not working together collaboratively to tell that story, nobody is going to do that for us. We have to figure out how to work together to tell our story, then ask for the state and federal leaders to partner with us to advance our vision. This last session proved the need to have a full-time advocate at the State House is real. Working alongside other consultants and advocates in Indianapolis, I soon learned they were curious of our increased connectivity. It proved my (and others’) hypothesis, that if we don’t compete at a higher level, we won’t win at a higher level. One of the most exciting things about my job is that I have the opportunity to sit at a table with lawmakers and leaders across Indiana and on Capitol Hill. What I hear from them is we are just as good – if not better – than other communities. We have Griffin Bike Park and a nationally recognized parks and recreation department. We have a unique downtown with cultural offerings, we have the Wabash River, the Bird Gibson Cross Country track, host to state and national championships. So much of what I do every day is to help tell that story and make sure we have a seat at the table. What do you think are Terre Haute’s biggest assets? What sets us apart from other regions? We are so uniquely rich with higher education. We are a college town and need to embrace that. That is pipeline creation for workforce development. Each of our five higher education institutions attract a specific student demographic, which means that can support one another versus compete. One of the biggest industries that is currently in a growth pattern is the

defense industry. We have an intelligence wing on the east side of the city that’s sitting next to the Terre Haute airport and across from RoseHulman, which is the number one engineering school in the United States. This is the perfect storm for opportunity as we look at partnerships at the state level. Terre Haute also has an award-winning parks and recreation department, arts and cultural organizations, and a great quality of life. We have an award-winning airport and budding retail developments on Highway 46 that will help promote business development in that area. We certainly have challenges, but every community has that. How can one individual person help move Terre Haute forward? I always ask people, “What is your talent and how can you give it back?” If you’re a great referee, volunteer your time to referee a few games on the weekend. If you have a business that wants to grow and thrive, reach out and I’ll help you find ways to do that. Even if you’re not a client of RJL Solutions, my team would be happy to make sure you’re connected to the right resources to grow. Get involved in local government if that’s what interests you. Become engaged. Because not engaging is the worst thing you can do. Tell us about your family. What do you like to do when you’re not working? Our kids are 3 and 6, and they are our time outside of work. My husband and I try very hard to make them our priority. As a family, we like to do things in the community, like explore the parks. We all worked together on the RJL Solutions float for the Light the Way Christmas Parade. My husband Broc and I enjoy showing our boys the importance of civic engagement.

Casa L iving My name is Grace and I’m the founder and creative behind Fernweh Home! I was born and raised in Terre Haute, Indiana and (to the total bafflement of my younger self) haven’t left just yet. This shop was born out of a life-long love of styling, interior design and entrepreneurship. However, I definitely took a few detours along the way. Before I had any idea what the word meant I was definitely drawn to design. As a little girl I would spend hours dressing Barbies and decorating my classic 90’s pink and blue Fisher Price dollhouse. Later, one of my favorite activities was designing apartments out of a shelving unit for American Girl Dolls. With the typical focus and tediousness of a first-born girl, I had to create a little room for each that perfectly displayed her unique style and “personality.” As a teenager I would pour over Pottery Barn catalogues and (to my families annoyance) constantly rearranged my bedroom.

I think so often we dismiss the things we’re naturally good at without giving them enough weight. If something is fun we automatically assume it’s simply a dream, not a career. Even though everything I loved pointed toward creativity and design, I forced myself to be “practical” and chose instead to pursue Commercial Graphic Design. I thought this major would lead to all the things most people are expected to want...corporate America, steady job, fancy office etc.

Fast forward 3 years. After graduating with a B.A. in Graphic Design in 2015, I realized of course that I actually didn’t want any of those things. Although creative, there was zero joy or passion for me in the idea of spending my life in a 9-5 office cubicle. After about 6 months of just feeling completely directionless, I decided to take a chance on my longtime dream and launched Fernweh Home from my kitchen table. What started as a simple website has transformed into a full home-goods line and has become more than I ever imagined!

My next step is to expand the business into my love for Interior Design. I am especially passionate about helping clients see the potential in what they already have and fall in love with their homes all over again. Rather than starting from scratch I like to create a space that feels totally unique through restyling existing items and then strategically adding a couple new pieces like throws, pillows or wall art to make the space feel fresh. If you have the right tools, it’s easy to transform your home without breaking the bank! When styling or designing rooms I’m drawn to neutral, soothing colors (those who know me tease about my “beige obsession”). Rather than using lots of color or bold patterns, I prefer to create interest through layering textures through textiles and subtle prints. I love to focus on the details and often use rustic elements that add character and personality.

My goal for the shop is to provide crafted and curated items that allow you to bring this style into your home. I hope my products and photos helps you to make the space you’re in just a bit more beautiful! If you would like to connect with me further I’d love to “meet you” VIA Instagram @FernwehHome and you can shop at https://fernwehhome.squarespace.com/. - Grace Sarris

Photography by Grace Sarris

The Plant Lady Indoor plants have made a huge comeback. I have noticed a trend over the last 2 years - it started with succulents and most recent the fiddle leaf fig. I love the way you can add warmth to a room with just adding a couple plants in your home. If you’re anything like me, you need some help with plants that do well with very little attention. Since I know we are all so busy, I thought this article might be helpful to those who don’t have a green thumb. I follow several home decor bloggers who use these plants below in their space and it really makes a huge difference. It has also been proven that indoor potted plants can help with feeling less stressed and more attentive, filter out harmful toxins, and help clean the air. Let’s get ready to spruce up your indoor space and get it spring-ready with one of these trending plants below, along with tips to get you started. - Yvette Morgan

Philodendron

Succulents

Split Leaf Philodendron

Fiddle Fig Leaf

Cactus Plants Snake Plant

INDOOR PLANT TIPS

• Pick a spot for your plant to live. Some plants don’t like to be • moved around too much.

• • • •

Water only once every 2 weeks. Maybe pick a day through the week and stick to it…Sunday is always a good day. Don’t overwater and don’t let them sit in water. Overwatering can lead to bugs.

• Place your larger plants like the fiddle leaf fig in a larger • container, so you have room for your roots to grow. • Dust your plants with a wet rag.

• • • •

When you purchase your plants keep them in their original plastic container and place them in large decorative baskets. You can place trash bags around the bottom so the dirt and water doesn’t get anywhere.

• • • •

Watch out for pets and children. Make sure you do your research before you bring any new plants home, and consult the ASPCA’s toxicity guide since some plants can be poisonous to cats and dogs.

Balancing Act: The Life of a Working Mom How does a realtor/mom work from home with a sick child? The entire time I have sold real estate, I have also been heavily involved in raising two small girls (because my husband, Matt, refuses to do it by himself). I had an office job when Matt and I first were married. I often met my friend, Georgia, after work. Neither of us had kids and we both worked until 5 p.m. Our husbands would meet us when they got off work. Those were my hay days of free hands and free time. Four years later, I became a mom. And then 18 months after that, our lives changed forever when I took my first real estate class and became an agent. Matt and I were fortunate that our parents lived close. I thought they’d be built-in babysitters. Matt’s job was flexible, so I always had coverage whenever I needed to be at the office or show houses. But, it did not happen like that. Sure, all that was and is still true about our parents and Matt’s job. But, everybody knows you can wear out your welcome with your babysitter. I was always afraid, so I tried to exercise the old “I’ve got this; I can work and be a mommy at the same time” muscle. Even though sometimes all I received for my effort was a big old cramp. It has been a learning curve. I was nervous in the beginning. I would often take phone calls in my coat closet, implying the children’s voices in the background were “other people’s kids.” Meanwhile, I was apprehensive to take my kids to the office because I was afraid they would destroy something. And even now, they are growing up and becoming great young women, and I am still afraid they will destroy something. There is something about your offspring in your office space. However, through all the “sushing” and the “stay here while I go to the copier,” and the “don’t fight with your sister,” I’m showing them what I do at work. I’m shaping their ideas about success and women in business. I get to have my arm around their little shoulders while I talk to a client on the phone. Truth be told, I have grown with my daughters. I became comfortable in “my own skin” as they stretched and reached in theirs. Thirteen years have literally flown by since I took those real estate classes. Matt and I are incredibly grateful that the girls are so happy and healthy (and they still love to talk to me while I’m on the phone). Simultaneously, my real estate career grew into a remarkable success. But, there are still times when it’s exhausting trying to take care of a

cherished child and a treasured client at the same time. Thankfully, my experience has bred some wisdom. In those days when these jobs collide, I remind myself that even though I love selling real estate, this “mommy” business is golden. And, unfortunately, these days won’t last forever. I try to be real with my clients. I tell them a little bit about myself, and guess what? We are often in the same boat—dealing with similar things. Talking about these things helps us connect on an even higher level. On those days when I wake up with plans to hit my to-do list hard, only to discover one of the girls needs a sick day. A few deep breaths, honesty, and good equipment has made it possible for me to be successful on the days I need to be at home, making a bowl of chicken noodle soup while scheduling closings and writing listing contracts. Listed below are a few of my favorite devices that help me during these times: • I love Gmail, which keeps every address I’ve ever keyed into it, and the Boomerang app that will automatically send emails on any date I pick. • I love a digital thermometer. • I use electronic signature apps. • I have office assistants that work as hard as I do. • I utilize social media, which helps me get in touch with all my people as soon as I need them. • I love the CVS version of children’s Tylenol. • I love my phone (whom I sometimes call it my assistant). • I love my broker. • I have a scanner app that allows me to have every document pertaining to any transaction practically on my person at all times. • I love texting. • I love Netflix. So, life that I love, bring on the work and the sniffles. I’m going to be okay. - Debbie Hill

Photo by LaRysa Orman

Bound by Love

I’ve always wanted to write a book, I just have so many ideas floating around in my head that I don’t know where to start. One young lady found the inspiration to write a children’s book when she had her little one, who at the time, questioned why Daddy was going to work at his demanding job. Tradara has found success with her first book, “Why Daddy Works”, and added a second book, “Why Mommy Works” to the collection. Both books are available on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble. We wanted to share with you Tradara’s why and thought you might be inspired by her sweet story like we were. - Lori Mitchell

Tell us a little about yourself and your family? One of my favorite working mother movies is “Baby Boom.” I love watching JC Wyatt tell the board that she could have it all. She could be a working mother with a mobile over her desk and take care of business. That is what I want. I am a working wife and mother of two. I love this family that I was blessed with. Our favorite pastime is listening to and dancing to music. My daughter is a natural born leader. She knows what she wants and she will tell you. She has no filter. My son is fearless and loving. He is the first one to try something without hesitation yet will drop everything to hug his sister if he notices she is crying. My husband is the hardest working man I know. I am amazed by his work ethic. One of my favorite moments with them is simply watching them sleep. What inspired you to write a children’s book? I have always enjoyed writing. As a child, I wrote poetry and episodes for my favorite television shows at the time. Having children pushed me towards writing a children’s book. I wanted to write a book as another method of communicating with them. My husband started working a demanding position that had him working more than ever. So, I wrote the book to provide comfort to my daughter to explain why daddy works. What is your favorite childhood book? “Time for a Hug” by Phillis Gershator. I love hugging my kids every time we get to that part in the story. How long did it take from beginning to end to write and publish your book? The process took over two years to complete. I spent a lot of time having people proofread the book and trying to locate a traditional publisher. Shortly after writing the book, I had an agent from a traditional publisher contact me to publish the book. However, the director decided to no longer publish children’s books. It was at this time that I decided to do it

on my own. Once deciding to self-publish, the next challenge was finding an illustrator. What resources did you use to help you? I utilized the English faculty at Indiana State University, various online resources and LinkedIn to network with other writers to learn about their challenges. Do you have any plans to publish another children’s book in the future? I would like to publish another children’s book in the future. I have two ideas currently in my head; I just have not put the pen to paper. I am constantly thinking of new ideas as I watch my children grow. What was the most difficult part of your writing process? The most difficult part was not recognizing my writing. I had advice and feedback coming from all angles that I could not recognize my story. I had to decide what feedback was worth following and what to leave behind. What advice would you give someone wanting to publish a book? Be patient and write because you love to write and you have a story to tell. One of the first publishers that I reached out to via phone said, “I don’t mean to discourage you but publishing a book is like winning the lottery.” Little did she know I was pulling the numbers. When you feel stuck, how do you move forward? I stop. I am a religious person so if I am stuck, I believe God telling me not to move. When it is time for me to move forward, He will push me. Where can our readers pick up a copy? Readers can buy “Why Mommy Works” and “Why Daddy Works” online on Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com.

Photo by Samantha McGranahan

Haute Life Book Club. . . Haute Life Book Club is a page dedicated to our favorite books that inspire us and gives us some personal growth. We asked our contributors to tell us which book they would recommend and share with our readers. We have 6 books we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wait for you to read this spring! Make sure to check them out and send us your favorite book at hautelifemag@gmail.com and you may be featured in the next issue. - Yvette Morgan

Capital Gains / Chip Gaines Capital Gaines is the perfect book for anyone looking to succeed not only in business, but more importantly in life. - Lori Mitchell

BFG / Roald Dahl A story about a friendly giant who captures dreams and keeps them in bottles for children to enjoy while they sleep, is a classic childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book by Roald Dahl. - Angela Tapy

Getting Noticed / Lindsay Teague Moreno A no-nonsense guide to standing out and selling more for momtrepreneurs who, “ain’t got time for that”. - Jessica Aden

Girls Like Us / Rachel Lloyd Lloyd’s honest memoir is a powerful and unforgettable story of inhuman abuse, enduring hope, and the promise of redemption. - Yvette Morgan

What to Read for Inspiration

Nightingale / Kristin Hannah The Nightingale is a feast of images, scenes, and emotions that whirl off the page. Set in WWII France, the novel tells the story of two sisters with very different personalities forced to draw upon their strength and find their own paths to resistance under the German Occupation. - Grace Sarris

Little Fires Everywhere / Celeste Ng Little Fires Everywhere is a gripping story that follows the fates of a picture-perfect family, and how it ends up intertwining with a single mother and daughter. - Leah R Singer

In The Spotlight Some people just were born to be on stage, and I believe it to be true for Ashley. She has a quality that most people admire and love, and I couldn’t be happier to share her journey with you and how this young, inspiring woman from Terre Haute ended up in Nashville, Tennessee living out her dream. - Yvette Morgan

Tell us about yourself and what you do. I am Ashley Wolfe. I’m a born-and-raised Terre Haute, IN girl that found herself in Nashville, TN.

What I do is probably one of the toughest questions because the answer always depends on the time of year, sometimes time of day. The short answer is that I am a freelance artist. The longer answer is that I am an actor, singer/songwriter, and I’m currently the costume designer for Belmont University’s Musical Theatre program. In addition to all of that, I sell things from curated a collection of vintage items and refinished furniture that I call Hock and Jetsam. I like to stay busy. What brought you to Nashville? And how did you decide that Nashville was home for you in your professional and personal life? After graduating from the Theater Department at Indiana State University, I started looking for acting work. As cliché as it sounds, this mostly meant finding a place to wait tables while I started to dig my way into the theater scene. I lived in Seattle for a brief time before I came to Chicago. Chicago (more specifically Arlington Heights) gave me my first professional paid acting job. I lived and worked there for close to three years and it was a wonderful opportunity to grow and learn.

Nashville had always been in the back of my mind but it wasn’t until I was traveling through for some auditions that I realized just what kinds of opportunities were there. I was making my way from Chicago to Atlanta and I spent a few days just wandering around the city. There was a really great energy and people were open and kind. I carried on to Atlanta but couldn’t shake the feeling that something pretty great was happening back in Nashville. The next year I returned for a call-back audition and two weeks later decided to pack my things and go. I didn’t end up booking that job, but the chance to go back (and a very frigid Chicago winter) was all the encouragement I needed to make the move. I have been here about four years now and this city just continues to explode with no signs to slowing down. There are so many types of artists here and most

everyone is eager to collaborate and lift each other up. The theater community has welcomed me and provided me with some really great opportunities to work both on stage and off. The beauty of this community is that I don’t have to stick to just one thing. It really has been liberating in that way. As far as my personal life goes, this just so happens to be the city where I met Mr. Jay Tooke, a man who is my match in every way. I’ve found someone with a creative energy and ambition that I admire and whose talent blows me away every day. We are building a pretty cool life here together and that makes it even easier to call this place home. Can you share with us a few ways that creativity has sparked a fire in your career? I think the opportunity to create over creativity itself is what has really been the spark. There are all kinds of ways in all kinds of work to show one’s creativity; we just have to been given the opportunity. My second job in Nashville Theater was actually offstage designing costumes for Street Theatre Company’s production of “Bat Boy: The Musical.” I had not actually considered costume design as something I wanted to pursue further but I was drawn to the opportunity to help create.

Bat Boy is a really odd musical that is based on a tabloid story that was published in 1992 about this boy who grew up in a cave that they were reporting was half-boy, half-bat. I read the synopsis for the show and thought this production was just so bizarre that I could really stretch some creative muscles. It was exhausting, overwhelming, and frustrating at times but also really fun and incredibly rewarding. That is my typical cycle throughout a creative project although “fun” is really sprinkled throughout. The opportunity to design costumes for that production lead to me being hired by several other local companies to costume design their shows and ultimately how I felt confident enough to add costume designer to my resume.

Album Artwork for a Jeffrey Krantz Project. Photo by Jenny Steiner at SplendidImage

What advice would you give someone wanting to pursue the arts? I didn’t start pursuing a career in the arts until I was a junior in college. I tried to choose something more business minded and more

“stable” to study but there was something that drew me to the theater arts. I know it threw my parents for a loop when I changed majors. I know a lot of people had no idea I even sang or had a real interest in acting. I trusted my gut and I am glad I did. I didn’t choose the arts because they were easy. I went for the challenge and unpredictability of it all. So, if you are going down this road you have to be willing to do the work. Trust your process. Be open. Say yes to challenges that scare you. Devote yourself to each and every project. Know that there will be struggles but handle them with grace and push through. It’s not easy but it is rewarding. Where can we find you this year? Right now, you can find me all around Nashville. I am designing costumes for a production of “On the Town” at Belmont that is about to take the stage. I am working on recording and releasing a few more songs I have written which I am really excited for. It has been a few years since I released anything and my writing has changed. I am really excited about sharing the new song. I also have an acting project or two on the horizon so I see a pretty busy Spring and Summer in my future. What do you do to keep motivated and interested in your work? I am thankful for built in variety in what I do. With acting, you get to dive into developing a character for several weeks; a few months if you are lucky. Then, when the project is complete, you close the book on that and start all over with something new. That definitely keeps things interesting. For design work, you get to take on projects with a fresh interpretation of the work. Each director has their own vision and you along with the rest of the creative team get to help bring that to life. Most of my work is very collaborative and you are constantly meeting and working with new people. The challenge of a new project is the motivation and the opportunity to constantly meet new people keeps me interested. What inspires you? I am lucky to be surrounded by really talented people. A great number of these people are equally as kind as they are talented. I am inspired by watching them work. Seeing really wonderful people achieve great things is both an inspiration and a motivator. I think it is very easy to put yourself in competition with the people around you but the wiser choice is to see what they are doing and let it be an inspiration.

What do you do to get into your creative zone? A lot of times I use music. Maybe it’s a playlist of songs from the time period a show is set in or just songs that set a specific mood or tone. I create playlists that I listen to pre-show during warm ups. It is maybe a little superstitious to listen to the same set of songs but there is something comforting about that routine before stepping out on stage where pretty much anything can happen.

a Kieffer

Photo by Mirand

Were you ever discouraged? More times than I can count (and I used to count). When I first started acting, I was told that when it came to auditioning; statistically I would be told “no” 27 times before I got a single “yes.” This is a disheartening thing to hear. I decided to take that statistic not as fact, but as a challenge. I had a notebook and I wrote down every audition that I went to as well as the response “yes” or “no.” I still have that sheet of paper somewhere tucked away. I can’t tell you exactly how many time I heard no (it was a lot, and there were tears) but I can tell you that I got a “YES!” before I hit 27.

I don’t count anymore because the number of times I hear “no” doesn’t matter to me. Those aren’t the projects I am meant to take on and looking at a list of roles I didn’t get can only discourage a person from jumping back out there and finding the one that they are a fit for. It’s not an easy thing to believe in Ashley as Allana Dal Marian o e in r The Tru yourself when you feel like others don’t e Tale of Rob Photo by K see what you know is there. Just trust that ara McLelan inhood d someone does. My new list is one filled with the names of truly wonderful people who have taken a chance on me. I like that list much better. If you had to do it all over again, would you have chosen a different career path? I don’t think I could have chosen a different path because there isn’t anything that makes me happier than entertaining people. I have been doing it my entire life and not always professionally. I think the true measure that I made the right choice is that I am doing something that is equally fulfilling whether I am getting paid to do it or not. That is love.

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This is How I Roll

My entire professional life has been associated with baking. What I know about baking I have learned from some wonderful family and friends that I’ve had the privilege of working alongside over the years who, like me, love to bake and share their favorite recipes. Just over a year ago, I embarked on a new path and at my age was terrified of starting over. Leaving my comfort zone was scary and I began to question whether I could adjust to a new environment, learn new skills or fit in with the team. But with help from some wonderful friends and support from my family, I realized that a new beginning was exactly what I needed. I am very grateful to have the opportunity to work at Baesler’s Market, where the freedom to create is not only welcomed but encouraged. The opportunities to learn and grow – in the bakery and other departments – have been an exciting adventure. I have always enjoyed baking but have come to realize that baking is my self-care go-to. It’s my creative outlet; my therapy. I really can’t remember a time when I didn’t love to bake. It’s not just the indulgence in the results, but the process of weighing out the butter, sugar, flour, cracking eggs, whisking, beating and folding. With a

few simple ingredients, a decadent dessert or pastry is created. I enjoy cooking too, but sometimes preparing meals is primarily for the sake of eating them. Cooking can become just about getting meals on the table. Baking to me is more than a simple means to an end – it’s a way of life. Baking is a form of communicating your feelings when words aren’t really enough. Whether it’s showing appreciation, thanking someone or expressing comfort. To me giving something you have baked is always an expression of love. Desserts epitomize the idea of sharing. How can sharing not be good for the soul? My family and I love to spend time together preparing meals, sharing recipes and ideas. We tend to always gather in the kitchen (the smallest room in the house) and you can bet our feast always ends in something sweet. Everybody has their own preference when it comes to what dessert they prefer – some like fruity and some prefer chocolatey. For my crew, it’s chocolate chip cookies or cheesecake to name a few. The only problem we have trouble deciding on is how much everyone gets to take home. Jay (my fiancé) and I have a slight dis-

Angel Food Cake Roll with Fresh Berries

agreement when it comes to the distribution of the goods. I have to battle to keep a little for us, but as he always reminds me, we don’t need the middle of the night temptation (why does he always have to be right?). I think we both feel if it’s in the middle of the night and no one can see us, it just might not count. I can honestly say I was not prepared for the love you experience when you have a grandchild. They are the connection to your past and future. My 9-year old granddaughter, Aubri, touches my heart deep within, she a light that shines so bright and can quickly sweep me off my feet. Baking moments with her strengthens our bond and given us real quality time together. We have made cookies, biscuits, pasta and pies. Last year we spent a beautiful morning picking blackberries, came home and made a fabulous cheesecake. Taking the time to just enjoy these times with her not only builds a memory for her but nurtures every part of me. I hope she will find her passion in life and take the time to care for herself in whichever way works best for her. I admit I do love eating what I bake, but most of the time I bake with the intention of sharing and making someone else happy. Baking is my form of self-expression and supports my overall well-being. It’s a chance for me to be creative and an opportunity to make a special treat for the ones I love. We all know desserts can be quite an indulgence and sometimes leaves us with a feeling of regret (not for me, of course) so I decided to share with you a dessert that combines some of my best-loved elements and won’t harvest too many of guilty feelings. Cake rolls, angel food cake (my son, Nathan’s, favorite), and fresh fruit (son, Alex and granddaughter Aubri’s, favorite). I love cake rolls, they are so magical to me. The idea that you can roll cake up is a beautiful thing. This light and airy cake roll combines angel food cake filled with slightly sweetened, orange-infused whipped cream and fresh berries. It creates an impressive dessert that you will be proud to serve. So take a little time for yourself – put on your favorite music, movie or the Food Network channel, and bake a memory. I hope all of you find what nurtures your soul and fills you up, as for me … this is how I roll! - Susan Royce

Susan Royce works in the bakery and catering department at Baesler’s Market. She assists in the development of new products and helps coordinate catering events. She enjoys her life at home with Jay and her dog, Sheldon. She has two sons, Alex and Nathan, and a 9-year old granddaughter, Aubri. Her time away from work is well spent with family, friends, baking and shopping. She is taking a croissant making class and looks forward to more classes where she can learn a new skill to share with those she loves.

Cake Ingredients: • 9 egg whites • 1 tsp. vanilla extract • ¾ tsp. cream of tartar • 1 cup plus 2 T. granulated sugar • ¾ cup cake flour • ½ cup powdered sugar Filling Ingredients: • 1 ½ cups of whipping cream, chilled • 3 T. powdered sugar • 1 tsp. orange extract • 1 ½ cup diced strawberries, reserve ½ cup for top of cake roll • 1 ½ cup blueberries, reserve ½ cup for top of cake roll • 1 ½ cup raspberries, reserve ½ cup for top of cake roll Directions: 1. Place egg whites in a large mixing bowl: let stand at room temperature for 30 minutes. 2. Line a 15 x 10- inch baking pan with waxed paper; lightly coat with cooking spray and set aside. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. 3. Add vanilla and cream of tartar to egg whites; beat on medium speed until stiff peaks form. Gradually beat in sugar; 2 tablespoons at a time, on high until glossy peaks form and sugar is dissolved. Fold in flour, ¼ cup at a time. 4. Carefully spread batter into prepared pan. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until cake springs back when lightly touched. 5. Dust a clean kitchen towel with ½ cup powdered sugar. Carefully turn cake out onto the towel and gently peel off waxed paper. Roll up the cake in the towel jelly-roll style, starting with the short side. Cool completely on a wire rack. 6. While cake is cooling, in a medium size bowl, beat the whipping cream on medium speed until it begins to thicken. Add 3 T. powdered sugar (you can more if you like it sweeter) and orange extract; increase speed to medium-high and beat until stiff peaks form. Store in refrigerator until ready to use. 7. Unroll cooled cake; spread with half of the filling to within ½ inch of edges. Evenly distribute 1 cup of each of the berries over the filling. Roll up cake again. Place seam side down on a serving plate sprinkled with powdered sugar. With the leftover filling ice the cake roll. Top with leftover berries. Cover and keep refrigerated. Susan’s Notes: You can substitute one Angel Food cake mix for the scratch cake recipe above, be sure to omit the cooking spray. I used orange extract but you can substitute vanilla extract. I think the orange extract pairs nicely with the berries. Feel free to substitute other berries.

Traveling Light “Why do I need a travel agent?” This is a question that many people ask themselves as they begin to contemplate their travel possibilities. With so many options available to the average traveler today, it may seem just as easy to go out to the world wide web and make travel plans on your own. But what are you missing out on when doing this? Did you know that there are knowledgeable travel advisors that can take all your vacation wants and desires and provide you with exactly what you are looking for, with little to no hassle, or additional cost, on your part? Well that’s where I come in…… I am a Personal Vacation Advisor with Magical Vacation Planner. I help those wanting to create lifelong memories identify travel destinations, and plan adventures, that maximize their vacationing experience. Through my complimentary, yes, I said free, travel planning, I can help families determine the vacation destinations that work the best for their interests, and budgets, to ensure they have a stress-free vacationing experience. I began my journey as a Personal Vacation Advisor due to my love of travel. I was lucky enough to have a family that wanted to provide me with travel experiences throughout my childhood, which created a desire for new adventures and travel into adulthood. Based on my love of travel, I found that I was asked regularly by friends and family to give reviews of destinations I have traveled to and even aid in booking their vacations. So, becoming a Personal Vacation Advisor seemed like a logical fit for me. To become approved to sell travel, I took part in many different training seminars and online training courses to increase my knowledge of the industry as well as different travel destinations. Ongoing training occurs regularly to ensure that I

have the most up-to-date knowledge of the market. It helps to insure my clients can have the most enjoyable time possible on their vacations, rather than having to deal with issues such as resort remodels or pool closures during their stay. Through my affiliations with Magical Vacation Planner, I can plan vacations for many different destinations across the globe. Some of the most requested destinations I have received requests for, from clients related to travel, have been Disney World, Disneyland, Universal Studios, various Cruise Lines, Sandals, Beaches, and a myriad of well-known All-Inclusive Resorts in the Caribbean. These destinations provide experiences for travelers of all ages, from those looking for romantic adults-only getaways to family-friendly resorts and attractions. So back to the initial question of “Why do I need a travel agent?” As a Personal Vacation Advisor, I am able to take the worry out of travel planning for the client, which in turn, relieves the anxiety related to travel. Most travelers are not aware that there are activities that need to be scheduled within a certain amount of time for some destinations. For instance, with Disney World travel, if you want to take part in character dining, at any of their most sought-after restaurants, it normally requires reservations to be made 180 days in advance of travel. The reservation window opens at 6:00 in the morning 180 days prior to travel and can book up in a matter of minutes depending on the restaurant. If the traveler were using my services as a Personal Vacation Advisor, I would be the person at the computer, and on the phone, before dawn booking reservations, rather than the client.

The above example is one of many issues that a Personal Vacation Advisor will handle for clients. Other examples of activities that I handle with booked vacations are, excursions for cruises, transfers for both sea and land-based vacations, ticket purchases for theme parks, stroller/scooter rentals, destination wedding planning, honeymoons, and celebratory experiences (such as birthdays) while traveling. Any one of these items can be overwhelming to schedule for the average traveler. As a Personal Vacation Advisor, I have trusted companies that I work with to ensure that clients are provided the best service during their travels. Now that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve advised on some of the perks of using a Personal Vacation Advisor, you may be asking yourself how it all works. Initially, the client would need to reach out through either phone or email to identify their interest in travel and using my services. Again, using my services are free of charge to clients. The client would need to provide information related to where they would like to travel, the budget they have in mind for travel, as well as the time frame they would like to travel within. This information then allows me the opportunity to check with the trusted travel partners to determine the best options for the client. The quoted information is then prepared and sent to the client for review. From that point, the client will make their decision on which quote works best for them, or in some cases, they may ask for quote modifications, which I will complete and send back for review. Again, there are no charges for this interaction.

Once the client determines which quote works best for them, we will discuss payment options. Different destinations have specific guidelines on deposits and final payments. For instance, if the client chose a Disney World Vacations Package, the deposit would normally be $200 down, with final payment being due 30 days prior to travel. If they chose a Disney Cruise Line Vacation, the deposit would normally be 20% down, with final payment being due 75 days prior to departure. These options allow clients the ability to make payments as they are able throughout the year leading up to travel. I know this option is very attractive to budget conscious travelers. As a Personal Travel Advisor, I work with my clients as if the vacation was my own. I want to ensure their travels run as smoothly as possible and that they have a wonderful experience they will tell their friends and family about upon their return. This business is mainly run off word of mouth and repeat business. If the clients are not happy with their travel, they will not return for future travel nor provide a positive review for your services. I enjoy seeing pictures from my clients during their travels and seeing the smiles on their faces. This makes the time that I put into my clientsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; travel more than worth it. - Kristina Norton Personal Travel Advisor Magical Vacation Planner

k.norton@ magicalvacationplanner.com

The Fabric Junkie: Spring Trends It’s finally Spring friends! This Spring and Summer, look for easy dresses, bright florals, and boho-inspired embroidered tops. The jumpsuit trend continues, as well as cut-outs, camo, and cold-shoulders. - Lori Mitchell

Embroidered tops and peplums are a sweet edition to your spring wardrobe.

THML

Maxi’s are still in, friends. This bright floral is perfect with a little sweater now, worn alone later.

Have you worn “cupro” yet? Cupro is an amazing fabric – lightweight, easy, washable, and super-wearable.

She and Sky

V-fish

Graphic t’s are an easy go-to for a casual day.

Half United 78

Organic cotton dresses are one of the first things I grab from my closet on warm days.

Soul Flower

Pretty florals are perfectly feminine for spring and summer.

The “cold-shoulder” is a trend that’s sticking around for a while! The ruffle trim gives the LBD a fresh new take, or the coral dress is a nice pop of color for spring. Dresses by Elegantees for The Dressember Foundation.

Dresses by Elegantees for The Dressember Foundation

Elan

Camo is back! Add camo to your wardrobe in an easy midi-dress. Pair it with an esperadille sandal and you’re good to go.

ODDI Clothing

It’s all in the details… fabric cut-outs and detail at the neckline continue into the spring.

Able USA

Jumpsuits continue to be an easy pick for spring and summer! The stripes and off-the-shoulder ruffle give this one a light and fresh update.

Elan

Cultivating Your Memories I’m sure many of you have taken photos of your family members for birthdays, graduation parties, or of your children during different stages of their life. I’m guessing most of those photos are backed up on iCloud or saved on your phone and you’re not sure what to do with them. I know this all too well and have struggled with a system to keep my photos from disappearing into thin air and letting those precious moments of my life wither away. Back in my 20’s, I really got into scrapbooking and keeping my memories in albums but couldn’t afford to spend the money on the supplies or taking the time of create 1 page, much less a whole album with 2 small children to care for. This was when you cut and pasted everything down. With that being said, there has been a shift in the scrapbooking world, and how to preserve those memories has become mainstream again. You can shop any craft store and find aisles of stickers, decorative papers, and every kind of trim to create the perfect page of your family photos. I’d like to share with you three different types of scrapbooking systems to create awesome pages with just a touch of a button. I have used all of these personally and hope these help you get those piles of photos out of the boxes, off your cell phone and into beautiful and easy albums for you to share and pass down to your family members. - Yvette Morgan

Now if that seems too difficult and you want something even simpler, you have to download the Project Life App on your cell phone. This app blows my mind, because you don’t have to use scissors or any adhesive. All you have to do is print your photos…I know! It’s crazy! You can literally create any of your scrapbook pages while watching TV, sitting at the doctor’s office, or from the comfort of your home. You import your photos from your camera roll, zoom in and crop, choose the design/journaling and the many templates/collages to fit your style. You can then save your photos, print your completed pages, and have them delivered to your doorstep. This is a time saver and so fun to create your pages since they have so many to choose from. It puts the fun back into scrapbooking. https://beckyhiggins.com

PROJECT LIFE Becky Higgins is the creator of Project Life with its ultra - simple, and stylish solution for getting your photos off your phone and computer. You simply choose an album, select an artfullydesigned card, slip them into clear photo sheets, and place in a decorative album.

SHUTTERFLY Shutterfly photo books were one of the very first services to offer custom photo books and start at around $15. They have also launched a new service where you can send them all your photos, and they will create your book for you for a small $9.99 design fee. They usually offer many discounts to bring the price down, especially if you have more than one book to do. www.shutterfly.com

Here are some other custom photo books services you can check out next time to give the gift of memories.

CHATBOOKS Chatbooks is one of my favorites that I use frequently. Books only cost $8 and there is free shipping. You start the album in the app and once you hit 60 photos, it sends you a book. They’re cheap enough and you can auto-populate books straight from your Instagram or your Facebook feed and filter by hashtag. The album covers are designed by some of my favorite design bloggers and always on trend. If you like prints, they can also print 5x5 inch squares on thick, luxury cardstock. www.chatbooks.com

• Blurb Photo Books

• Artifact Uprising Photo Books

• Pinhole Press Photo

• Impressed Photo Books App

• Artkive Photo App

FREE PRINTS APP

• Snapfish Photo Books

If you like to print your photos, this app is free and gets all those photos off your phone and into your hands in just days. Get 1,000 FREE 4x6 photos a year, no subscription or commitments needed. You just pay for standard shipping and handling. All the photos can easily be printed from Instagram, Facebook, Dropbox, Google Photos, Amazon Cloud Drive, and Flickr. I use this app if I need to enlarge any of my photos for my picture frames. www.freeprintsnow.com

• StoryJumper Photo Books

• Mosaic Photo Books by Mixbook

• Minted Photo Books

• Tweed Wolf Photo Book

• Snapbox Photo Book

What Would You Tell You r You nger Self? The older I get, the more I want to reflect on how I got where I’m at, where my journey will lead me, and all the things I want to do in my life. My path has always been colorful and many times with a lot of twist and turns along the way. Nevertheless, I have found that without those experiences and without seeking and trusting God on this journey, I wouldn’t be where I’m at today. As I was preparing for this article, I wanted to ask the question, “What would you tell your younger self?” to women of all ages and see what they would say. Would they have done anything different when they were younger or changed anything? We got many different reactions when Haute Life Magazine set up a table in Baesler’s Market in January. We approached random women of different backgrounds and ages and asked this particular question. Some of the women were hesitate and declined, but we also had some brave women who gave feedback and some great tips/advice that we found very interesting. I began to notice that we are all very similar and really need to show more kindness and humility to ourselves and those around us. The ladies that we featured in the photographs on the next page were volunteers who allowed us to have their photos taken with their answers on the cardboard. This was a very cool way to show that no matter what life throws at you, always be kind, show love, and be compassionate toward others. Birth/Teens *Play More…We need to laugh more and be free to be a kid. When we forget to play, we become cranky, sad, and depressed. *Don’t be afraid to try new things…That’s the best thing about being young, you only live once…go for it!! *Listen to your parents…I can’t stress this enough. Parents are always right. *Don’t expect everything at once…I know this one is a hard, but sometimes timing is everything. If all your friends have the next big thing, it doesn’t mean you should, too.

18-Year-Old Self *Pursue your dreams…Start creating a plan to achieve your goals. Surround yourself with positive people who only want the best for you. *Be yourself…Don’t get caught in trying to impress friends and go down a different path that wasn’t meant for you. Stay true to yourself always. *Fear nothing…This is the perfect opportunity to try new things and figure out what you want to do. Take chances, explore, and travel if you can.

20 + Year Old Self *Take care of yourself…Find an outlet that you love and get that heart pumping. The sooner you start, the more you’ll carry the habit into your adult life. *Don’t drink too much…It’s nice to have fun and hang out with friends, but I can tell you first hand that having a hangover all day and lying in bed isn’t cool or fun. And please drink responsibly. *Don’t judge others…Man I could of missed many friendships if I judged them on appearances only. Be open to new people and relationships.

30+ Year Old Self

*Ask for help…I know this may be hard especially if you’re now settled into adulthood, but sometimes we need help financially, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s ok…life can be hard. *Don’t forget to take care of yourself…as we age and family starts to take priority, we forget about ourselves. I firmly believe that you have to carve some time for yourself. No matter what, make this a priority. *Live in the moment…Grab life and enjoy it. Your 30’s can be one of the best times of your life. Document it all, because one day you’ll only have those memories to remember.

40+ Year Old Self *Make time for your friends…There’s nothing I love more than having an impromptu dinner or drinks with my girlfriends. It’s absolutely necessary. *Travel…Getting away from the everyday stuff and getting out and exploring other things. It’s good for the soul. *Make time for your partner…Life can get hectic, especially if you work a lot or have children. Make a point to have date night and spend time with other.

Here’s what some of our readers had to contribute and say:

If you don’t ask the answer is no.

lf Love your se be cau se you t. are wor th i

This Too Shall Pass

Say yes, th figure it ou en t. Always keep things in perspective. There is always someone else suffering more.

This list is small but full of advice. I hope it has opened your eyes to live life fully and stop putting up walls. We all make mistakes, and with any luck, we learn from them. Stop beating yourself up for the past, and start living the life you were meant to live. This exercise really opened my eyes and made me view things from a different perspective. It made me even more grateful for everything I do have and want to start putting my words into action. I’m excited to move forward and start the rest of my journey. - Yvette Morgan

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