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Marriage.” A sample: “Mark’s a funny guy … but that is not why I fell for him. Oh no. I knew I was in love with him from the time I saw his headshot.” Ripa is endlessly complimentary about her husband, and the feeling is clearly mutual: He even made an appearance at The Carlyle Hotel during our photo shoot just to check on his girl. They are couples’ goals. As such, keeping their relationship fresh is easy, in her opinion. “It’s all very black and white: We fight,” she says. “And I think that’s the key to a good marriage, because you fight when you’re passionate. If we stopped fighting, I’d be concerned. We’re fine here, because we still get into it. “You know,” she adds, musing, “I was worried when we became empty nesters. It was one of the great turning points of our lives, and I thought to myself, Oh shit, we’re going to be that couple that it ends as soon as the kids are out of the house. I don’t know why one argument led me to believe that, but I do tend to have a flair for the dramatic. Plus, men and women argue differently. For him, a passing argument is no big deal, but for me, it’s like, ‘Well, I guess I have to call the divorce attorney.’ He’s like, ‘Um, what? Are you okay?’” Momentary lapses in sanity aside, anyone who has ever seen her and Consuelos together get it. Some people just fit, like puzzle pieces, and they are those people. “Mark is the hottest man on earth,” she enthuses (see what I mean?), adding, “But also the most normal. First of all, he’s good at math, so there’s that, and second of all, he has no ego; neither one of us do. We’re literally two people pushing each other up the hill as opposed to one trying to climb up the other one to get up the hill. We’re a team.” And they always will be — even if he doesn’t always remember to hang up his towel.
CHAPTER he would say, ‘You can’t put that in there.’ There was only one chapter that he told me I could never, ever put into that book, or any book, and I took it out. I respected him, I respected it, and I was like, ‘I hear you, even though it’s the best chapter. I’ll honor your request to take it out.’ Intrigued, I ask her if she can share anything at all about its content, and she does. “It was about a transition period in our marriage. It wasn’t the empty-nest transition, but an earlier one, and that’s all I can really say about it without him breaking down the door and somehow knowing I’m even discussing it.” I say, “That’s a good man you have, Kelly. He didn’t mind you talking about passing out during sex, at least.” She answers smartly, “Well, it was hardly his fault. Although, in the retelling, he [boasts that he was] such a cocksman that he made me pass out.” Ripa says this fondly. She doesn’t mind his bragging because a) it’s true and b) she’s grateful for him — and appreciative that he’s nothing like her. “You have to have a yin and a yang, right? Mark is so quiet in the way he goes through his life, and yet he married a blowhorn, if you will. I am this open book who will even turn the pages for you if you don’t keep up, and yet he allowed me to share these intimate moments because frankly, I think he found them entertaining. At the end of the day, I don’t think he would still be in this marriage if he didn’t find me entertaining. For example, if we go out to dinner with a couple we don’t know very well, and he says, ‘Kelly, tell him the story of how we met,’ then I know he’s invested.” [Incidentally, the start of their romance is adorably and hilariously laid out in chapter “Scenes From a Real 20 HAUTE LIVING hauteliving.com
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“I’ve never slept with a 50-year-old man. Actually, I suppose I will have by the time this book comes out. Wait, now that I think about it, by the time this book comes out, I’ll probably be sleeping with a man nearly in his mid-50s (52 is close enough). Mark, of course, has slept with a 50-year-old woman plenty of times. I’m assuming I’m the only 50-year-old, but you know what they say about assuming . . .” This is how the chapter “Scenes From a Real Marriage” starts, and although it is, indeed, about her marriage, it’s also about getting older, and how Ripa learned how to not give a damn (despite her husband, who is only six months younger, referring to her as a cougar, that is). She turned 50 on Oct. 2, 2020, right in the midst of the pandemic. Not an ideal scenario for a party to be sure, but the actual aging part? That’s a cakewalk, because Ripa believes that with age, comes power — an awakening that the only opinions that matter are your own, or those who love you. Also, she’s had Botox — as she frankly admits in the chapter “Aging Gracefully: The Big Lie” — and is proud of it, so let the haters hate! But really, just don’t. It’s pretty commonplace these days; stigma over, okay? “I loved my 40s, but in your 50s, you reach a whole new level, where it goes from actively not caring to passively not caring about other people’s opinions. In my 40s, I was all, ‘You’re wrong, and here’s why.’ Now I’m like ‘Oh, that’s interesting that you think that, interesting take.’ That’s as much as I’ll get into it now. Whereas I used to be actively disinterested, now I’m passively disinterested. It is the most liberating feeling on earth — though I do shudder to think what will happen to me at 60. Will I not just even bother to put on undergarments? Is that the age where you’re like, ‘I really don’t care anymore?’ I mean, I still think I’ll go that extra mile to make sure my underpinnings are in place, just in case there’s an accident. And as you now know, I cannot trust my husband in the event of an untimely emergency to dress me properly; I have to have those clothes laid out in advance,” she quips.
