WAKE AND BAKELAND

WORDS Tara Crutchfield

Wakey, wakey, eggs, and… the devil’s lettuce? Marijuana. I’ve done it, you’ve done it, Seth Rogan definitely does it, heck, even former President Barack Obama did it. And though most of us live by the acronym WWSDD (What Would Snoop Dogg Do), recreational weed still isn’t legal in Florida.

That hasn’t stopped a group of Mary Jane-loving entrepreneurs and their celebrity investors from attempting to open a first in Lakeland – a marijuana dispensary and diner.

The concept is a greasy spoon with ganja on the side. The breakfast spot, Wake and Bakeland, is set to open on South Florida Ave. in the coming months. Details on when and where haven’t been announced as the owners have yet to secure permitting to open a diner (let alone a marijuana dispensary) with the City of Lakeland. There are more than a few legalities in question.

The Compassionate Medical Cannabis Act of 2014 was passed by the Florida government and became effective January 1, 2015. Since then, the state has seen a surge in clinics and dispensaries specifically for green. However, ‘medical’ is where pot begins and ends in the state of Florida (unless you have a hookup or GYO).

The legal issue of marijuana in the Sunshine State has created problems in getting this dope diner up and running. The community has shown overwhelming support for the idea, with folks hoping the business (and themselves) will get off the ground and high as a kite soon. Owners of Wake and Bakeland have taken a firm stance that they would not be strictly medical. Marijuana would be available as

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“just another menu item, man,” according to the celebrity investor backing the project, Tommy Chong.

Chong is a Canadian-American actor best known for his roles alongside Cheech Marin in 1978’s cult classic stoner comedy “Up in Smoke” and 1980’s “Cheech and Chong’s Next Move.” The actor purchased a vacation home in Lakeland twenty-some years ago, where he likes to escape the limelight and reconnect with nature.

Chong promises only the freshest ingredients and the stickiest icky. His plan is for Wake and Bakeland to partner with local farmers for fresh produce and meat and local growers (who wish to remain anonymous) for pot. “What can I say? I’m just really passionate about bud. I started growing it out of my closet when I was in high school. Now, I have several acres right outside of… Well, I can’t tell you where. But it’s beautiful. Chronic as far as the eye can see,” said one marijuana farmer.

Weed will be available at Wake and Bakeland in tinctures, oils, joints, edibles, and garnish, of course. You could share a spliff over a cup of coffee with a friend or take one too many edibles and see where the day takes you. Mmmmm, pancakes and paranoia. You could obsess over that thing you said to that one girl in middle school or if you’re the only real person in this dimension and everyone else is just an NPC or why everyone keeps staring at you.

Finger’s crossed, Lakelanders will be able to take a ride on the Magic Dragon while scarfing down a fat stack of French toast by sometime this summer. LKLD got a first look at the menu, which dazzles with dishes like ‘Sunny Side Up, Sausage, and Sativa,’ ‘Country Ham and Kush,’ ‘Double Doobie Omelette,’ and ‘Hash-browns.’

“What are they going to do? Arrest me? Arrest all my customers?” Chong said confidently in a statement to LKLD last month. A representative from the Polk County Sheriff’s Office sent a comment in reply, “Yes.”

Cash only. College student, senior, and law enforcement discounts are available.