Renew Magazine: Fall 2014 Issue Sneak Preview

You r L i fe, B e t t e r

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YOUR LIFE, BETTER

M aga zi n e

FALL 2014

FALL 2014

Brain Imaging: exploring the treatment of the future

Ready to stand alone:

Teens in Transition

Wilderness programs and sober schools set adolescents on the path to success

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Model Amber Smith on overcoming codependence

Reinventing yourself (and your finances!)

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10 Years of Change & Transformation

Balboa Horizons offers a level of clinical care that is recognized amongst the leaders of the industry. We cater to men and women ages 18 and older, with chemical dependency diagnoses as well as co-occurring disorders, in separate, exclusive, and unique gender specific programs.

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Features

Contents Fall 2014

40 Class Act: Sober schools offer teens a chance to

continue their education, and learn so much more.

44

44 Into the Wild: Without the distractions of

technology – of even electricity – wilderness recovery programs promote healing without distraction.

50 Profile: At just 17, Jake Giffin is a recovery

success story.

52 Independent Woman: Amber Smith

kicked an opiate addiction, but it wasn’t until she addressed her codependence that she was finally free.

56 The Grey Matter: Will brain imaging bring

advances in treatment?

60 Beyond the 12 Steps: Lee McCormick’s

philosophy of spiritual recovery.

64 Glitz and Glam: Hollywood stars come out to

support addiction education.

66 It’s All for the Kids: Betty Ford Children’s

Program breaks the cycle of addiction.

52 56 You r L i fe, B e t t e r

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Your Life, Better

M aga zi n e

faLL 2014

faLL 2014

Brain imaging: expLoring the treatMent of the future

Ready to stand alone:

teens in tRansition

WiLDerneSS prograMS anD SoBer SchooLS Set aDoLeScentS on the path to SucceSS

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MoDeL aMBer SMith on overcoMing coDepenDence

reinventing YourSeLf (anD Your financeS!)

On the Cover Actress and model Amber Smith thought she had cleaned up her life when she stopped using opiates and alcohol. But that was just the start of her journey.

“While I was technically sober, I wasn’t living an emotionally sober life. I still had abusive influences in my life,” Smith said.

See her story, page 52.

Photographed by Lisa Rose ©2014

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Departments MIND

15 VOICE OF RECOVERY: The good and the bad

of being young at heart.

your addiction story.

too different from the Boomers’.

teens are susceptible to addiction.

healthy habits.

16 CLEAN LIVING: Tommy Rosen on overcoming 18 CLEAN LIVING: The Millennials’ drug use isn’t 19 CLEAN LIVING: Dr. Larry Larsen on why 20 NEW YOU: Reinvent yourself with these

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BODY

23 BEAUTY: Products that are fit for fall.

24 FITNESS: Make the change this week.

26 CLEAN LIVING: Dr. Kim Dennis explains

eating disorders.

SPIRIT

29 VOICE OF RECOVERY: A mother reflects on

her son’s recovery.

with the next generation.

difference between religion and spirituality.

30 VOICE OF RECOVERY: Super Star on working 32 SPIRITUAL CORNER: Rev. Leo Booth on the

LIFE

35 SOCIAL: Focus on food rather than alcohol this

tailgate season

with your kids.

end of the year.

parenting teens while in recovery.

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36 FAMILY: It’s never too late to work on the bond 37 FINANCES: Get your money in order before the 38 VOICE OF RECOVERY: The challenges of

In Every Issue

36

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7 From The Editor 8 Contributors 9 Healthy Consumption 10 ReNEWS 72 Resources For Living Catalogue 76 Resource Center Listings 80 Safe Haven 4

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Through expert information, compelling stories, and a focus on the positive aspects of recovery, RENEW celebrates recovery as the courageous, powerful, and life affirming journey that it is.

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A Division of Renew Publications, LLC RenewEveryDay.com James T. Moorhead Publisher

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Kelly Burch Editorial Director editor@reneweveryday.com

Jason Wahler EDITOR AT LARGE jasonw@reneweveryday.com

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Lisa Rose cover & Features Photographer images@lisarosephoto.com

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To subscribe, email subscribe@reneweveryday.com, visit RenewEveryDay.com or call 1-800-441-5569.

For bulk orders, contact partner@reneweveryday.com or call 1-800-441-5569.

RenewEveryDay.com Diane Cameron, Greg Kayko, Debra McKenna Super Star, Dan Griffin, Harris Stratyner, Betsey DeGree CONTRIBUTORS

Renew Advisory Board William Borchert Author

Tom Hill

Director of Programs, Faces and Voices of Recovery

Mary McGraw Gordon

Director of Family & Outpatient Services, Betty Ford Center

Craig Nakken Therapist

Karen Pasternack

Director of Public Relations, Caron

Melissa Preshaw

American Addiction Centers

John Howard Prin

Founder, TrueYouRecovery.com

Gary Seidler

Executive Editor of Counselor Magazine

Sis Wenger

President/CEO, National Association for Children of Alcoholics

Article proposals and unsolicited submissions may be sent to the editors at: 22 Fecamp Newport Coast, CA 92657 or by email at editor@reneweveryday.com. Renew magazine cannot process unsolicited manuscripts or art material and can assume no responsibility for their return. For submission guidelines, please visit RenewEveryDay.com.

Postmaster: Send address changes to Renew Publications, LLC 3201 SW 15th Street Deerfield Beach, FL 33442. ©2014 Renew Media, LLC. All rights reserved. “Renew” is pending trademark approval by Renew Publications, LLC. Designed by todd t designs, Chicago, IL.

From the Editor Dear Readers, It has been so wonderful to see the positive reception for Renew’s return to print. Milja Brecher-DeMuro, from Bar Harbor, Maine, is just one of the readers who was thrilled to see the magazine on her doorstep: “I just wanted to say THANK YOU for bringing Renew Magazine back in PRINT! This is such a wonderful publication and I am so glad to again be able to hold it in my hand (call me old-fashioned), read it, and share it with my clients in my waiting room.”

Milja, if you’re old-fashioned, so am I. There is something delightful about holding a magazine in your hands and being able to flip from story to story.

In this issue, you’ll find stories about codependence (‘The power to say ‘No,’” Page 52), new science (“Bring Biology to the forefront,” page 56) and plenty of material on growing up.

Teens who struggle with addiction face so many hurdles. We wanted to celebrate the programs that are out there to help them and challenge our recovery community to consider what we can do better to help the youngest addicts.

One thing that can make a huge difference in a young person’s success in recovery is having a mentor. Professionally, I’ve been lucky enough to have a powerful mentor in Tracey Dee Rauh, who has been the editor and a writer for Renew for several years. As I take over as editor of Renew, I’m once again thankful for Tracey’s knowledge on everything from publishing to recovery (not to mention her willingness to answer my unending questions!).

A new partnership, new editor and old-school delivery – all great things for Renew.

This is your magazine, and as such I would love to hear from you. Whether you have an idea for a feature, would like to share feedback, or are willing to share your own recovery story, email me at editor@reneweveryday.com.

Be sure to follow Renew on Facebook and twitter to see the latest updates from Reneweveryday.com between editions.

Best,

Kelly Burch Editor editor@reneweveryday.com

toddtdesigns.com

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Contributors Alexandra Pecci Alexandra Pecci is a freelance writer whose work appears in Every Day With Rachael Ray, Hemispheres, Northern New England Journey, and many other publications. She lives in Southern New Hampshire with her husband, Brian, and daughter, Chloe.

Pecci

Michelle Horton is a New York based writer who has lived with addiction in her family and marriage. She’s been published in a variety of publications (CNN, Parenting.com, Self magazine, Babble.com, mom.me) and founded EarlyMama.com, an award-winning site for young moms.

Michael Berg is a freelance journalist specializing in health, fitness and financial topics. Hailing originally from Chicago, he now lives in Los Angeles with his wife and six-year-old son.

Dylan Barmmer has achieved two successful and substantial stints in his own personal recovery from alcohol abuse since first quitting in early 2007, including a current 27-month stretch. When he’s not playing with words for a living, you can often find Barmmer hiking, prowling the beach, practicing yoga or playing with words for free.

Sara Brown is a Boston based journalist. When she is not busy worrying about deadlines, you can find her listening to country music, shopping or eating something that involves cheese.

Horton

Barmmer

Berg

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Brown

Summer 2014

Healthy Consumption The newest recovery reads

The Practice: Simple Tools for Managing Stress, Finding Inner Peace, and Uncovering Happiness Barb Schmidt HCI Books $12.95

In “The Practice,” connecting to your innermost self is as easy as one, two, three: Wake up, live present, and let go.

Author Barb Schmidt will show you how to make subtle shifts throughout the day that will have ripple effects into all areas of your life. Schmidt begins by sharing her own journey of recovery from bulimia, and shares the lessons she has learned over 30 years of studying modern masters and ancient texts.

“The Practice” is perfect for people who are beginning their journey of self-discovery, since it starts with simple steps – like meditation 101 – that will allow you to empower yourself and gain confidence in your recovery.

Recovery 2.0: Overcoming Addiction and Thriving Through Yoga, Meditation and the 12 Steps Tommy Rosen Hay House $17.95

Tommy Rosen believes that everyone has a birthright to live happy, joyous and free. However, he knows that that right is not always easy to claim when you are in the grips of addiction.

MOVE Rosen has been in recovery for more BEYOND ADDICTION AND than 20 years, and has become a leading expert in incorporating yoga and meditation into recovery programs. But YOUR LIFE in the early days of his recovery, Rosen TOMMY ROSEN felt that he was stuck. It wasn’t until he adopted a more holistic approach to the 12 steps – incorporating healthy diet, mindfulness, and ownership – that he really began to thrive in recovery.

In “Recovery 2.0” he presents the tools that have worked to keep his life balanced, and invites readers to try those tools for themselves. Whether by owning your “addiction story” or incorporating breathing practices, Rosen presents “Recovery 2.0” as a supplement to the path that you are already following.

If you are feeling stuck, or your recovery needs a bit of new life, “Recovery 2.0” is just what you’re looking for.

The Happy Heretic The Rev. Leo Booth HCI Books $9.95

The idea of codependency often comes up for recovery addicts and their loved loves. But have you ever considered the idea of religious codependency?

That’s just the idea that Rev. Leo Booth introduces in his new books, “The Happy Heretic.” Booth helps readers rethink popular, yet harmful, religious messages — even the prayers they grew up with. He introduces the idea that belief in tenets like, “Everything happens for a reason,” and, “This is in God’s hands,” can be the first step in developing religious codependency.

In “The Happy Heretic,” Booth challenges beliefs like original sin; a dogmatic, one-way path to God; the shaming of human sexuality, religious codependency; and the exclusiveness of Jesus’ perfection within the human race. He challenges readers to form a better understanding of who they are as they create a healthier relationship with God and a true expression of spirituality.

Booth calls himself a heretic; a person who is willing to think differently, and he invites readers to discover an alternative explanation for how we experience God’s grace. “The Happy Heretic” explains this divine relationship in ways that make us feel alive, empowered, and still true to who we are.

RECOVERY

UPGRADE

Your life, better

Sunrise, Sunset Kim Weiss

HCI Books $10.95 They say that many people take the beauty around them for granted. Kim Weiss does not.

“My real motivation was merely to capture the sense of awe I felt every time I either woke up to witness a beautiful sunrise or later in the day when the sun was setting to the west, sharing that same amazement,” Weiss said of her inspiration for “Sunrise, Sunset,” a collection photographs taken from the same spot on her 14th-floor terrace.

Each photograph in the book is accompanied by a reflective passage, written by some of the premier names in inspirational writing, including John Bradshaw, Candace Bushnell, Lisa Nichols, Jean Houston, Joan Borysenko, Jack Canfield and others.

From sunrise to sunset, this book will make a perfect gift for a loved one, or to remind yourself to take a moment to enjoy your surroundings every day.

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ReNEWS

The latest happening in the worlds of addiction and mental health, wellness and recovery.

Robert Downey Jr. Talks About Son’s Drug Arrest Celebrity actor and recovering drug addict Robert Downey Jr. has gone public with several interviews and statements in the wake of his 20-year-old son Indio’s arrest.

Indio Downey was charged with felony drug possession and other lesser charges stemming from his cocaine arrest over the summer.

Downey Jr., whose downfall and comeback are the stuff of American legend, made statements to the press concerning his son. He said his own experience helps him understand Indio’s problems.

“He’s his mother’s son and my son, and he’s come up the chasm much quicker than we did. But that’s typical in the Information Age; things get accelerated,” he said in a TMZ report.

“You’re confronted with histories and predispositions and influences and feelings and unspoken traumas or needs that weren’t met, and all of a sudden you’re three miles into the woods,” he continued. “Can you help someone get out of those woods? Yes, you can. By not getting lost looking for them. … Pick a dysfunction and it’s a family problem.”

From 1996 through 2001, Downey was arrested numerous times on drug-related charges including cocaine, heroin and pot and went several times through drug treatment programs unsuccessfully.

Downey Jr. got sober and ultimately made his huge comeback in 2008’s “Ironman.” His latest film, “The Judge,” is about a father and son reuniting.

Centre calls for Canadian pot-policy review The Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse has ordered a wide review of marijuana policy, including a study of the impact of legalization in Colorado and Washington, according to a report by the Globe and Mail, Canada’s No. 1 daily newspaper.

The Health Canada-funded organization is urging Ottawa to fund an independent study of the economic and social effects of potential reforms, including decriminalization and legalization.

“What we’re doing is highlighting the need for evidence to inform the discussion on legislative change,” Rebecca Jesseman, the centre’s lead researcher on marijuana policy, told the Globe and Mail.

Overall in Canada, the regulation of pot is turning into a key point of debate in advance of the 2015 federal election.

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Summer 2014

Caron Embraces Extended Support Model A new program at Caron treatment centers is trying to make that first year just a little bit easier by increasing support for addicts and their families following a stint in rehab.

In the My First Year of Recovery program, the patient and two family members receive continuing support, including that of a clinical case specialist, and a family assistance specialist. The program incorporates everything from regular phone calls to random drug screenings to keep a high level of accountability during the first tumultuous months.

“There is an added level of accountability when we speak to the patient and involve the family member,” Cheryl Knepper, vice president of continuum services for Caron Treatment Centers, told Renew. “Our ultimate goal is to aid them in recovery.”

The program covers the transition back to everyday life, helping patients not to be scared or anxious about things like returning to work or establishing healthy boundaries, Knepper said.

About 180 patients and 200 family members have completed the program, which is a year and a half old.

UPenn has worked with Caron to collect data on relapse rates. Before the program, about 50 percent of addicts lost contact with their recovery support system in the six months following their treatment.

“We suspect a fair amount have slips, and run away out of shame,” Knepper said. “We wanted to be better than that.”

With more monitoring through the My First Year program, Caron has a 60 percent success rate, defined as people in recovery staying in contact for one year and continuing their recovery. Ninety percent of the drug screens that are performed in the program are negative. Of the people who do relapse, 85 percent contact the program and are able to reestablish their recovery.

“We reengage swiftly and get them back on track,” Knepper said.

My First Year also keeps patients involved with an online community that allows them to draw on the support of their peers and experts.

“They can stay connected and realize that they’re not alone,” Knepper said. “This is a huge transition, and success comes from having it integrated into their daily lifestyle.”

Knepper is excited about the My First Year program at Caron, but also eager to see similar programs established at other treatment centers.

“We do believe in the chronic illness model,” she said. “This support is the wave of the future. We’ve seen that with cardiac and diabetes patients, so why not in the addiction field?”

Your life, better

Clean eating becoming eating disorder for some Clean eating is making some people sick.

Orthorexia, whose sufferers have an “unhealthy obsession” with otherwise healthy eating, literally means “fixation on righteous eating,” according to the National Eating Disorders Association.

The disorder generally starts out as an innocent attempt to eat more healthfully, much like anorexia nervosa often starts as a simple diet. While anorexics become fixated on weight loss and calories, orthorexics focus on food quality and purity.

“They become consumed with what and how much to eat, and how to deal with ‘slip-ups,’ the NEDA website, www.nationaleatingdisorders.org, says. “An iron-clad will is needed to maintain this rigid eating style. Every day is a chance to eat right, be ‘good,’ rise above others in dietary prowess, and self-punish if temptation wins (usually through stricter eating, fasts and exercise). “ Eventually food choices become so restrictive, in both variety and calories, that health suffers – an ironic twist for a person so completely dedicated to healthy eating. Eventually, the obsession with healthy eating can crowd out other activities and interests, impair relationships, and become physically dangerous.

In other words, it acts like an addiction.

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Mom on abuse registry for drug use wants name off A mother in New Jersey wants her name removed from the child abuse register because she says the drugs she was taking were prescribed by a doctor.

The Guardian reported that the woman, identified in court documents as YN, was found culpable of abuse and neglect of her unborn baby because she took methadone during pregnancy, even though the treatment was prescribed and supervised by a doctor.

She protested the abuse finding to the New Jersey Supreme Court, the Guardian stated, which is the highest judicial panel in the state. Six justices were to consider the case.

YN had not been criminally charged, and her case was been heard under the civil court system. Her presence on the child abuse register has potentially devastating consequences, as it could prevent her finding a job and make it more difficult for her to care for her son, according to the Guardian.

After a full-term pregnancy, YN gave birth to a seemingly healthy boy in February 2011. Soon afterward the baby began displaying symptoms of methadone withdrawal and was diagnosed as having neonatal abstinence syndrome, the Guardian reported.

Program Keeps Kids with Parents in Treatment A new program in Nebraska is working to keep children and parents together while the adults are in treatment for addiction and alcoholism.

KMTV reported that Heartland Family Services and Nebraska Families Collaborative launched Better Together to encourage parents to get into treatment.

“Parents suffering from an addiction often times can’t or won’t get the help they need because it requires being separated from their spouse and children,” Heartland Family Service told KMTV. The program allows child-welfare families in the Omaha metro area the option to be with their children while working on recovery. Each family accepted into Better Together resides in their own leased apartment and is responsible for all utilities and 30 percent of the rent, KMTV reported.

A child and family therapist, adult therapist, case manager and certified peer specialist who lives on-site provide enhanced intensive outpatient treatment for the parent or parents who are in treatment. The other family members also receive therapeutic services. All treatment is supplemented with job assistance, computer training, parenting skills classes and education about healthcare, nutrition and budgeting.

“I think this program is especially unique, not only because we keep families together who would otherwise be disrupted, but because we have programming specifically for men, who historically have been left out of family programming,” Heartland Family Service Clinical Supervisor Monica S. Meier told KMTV.

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Study Links Eating Disorders, Autoimmune Disease A study has concluded that many autoimmune diseases are implicated in the development of eating disorders.

The study of about 2,000 patients conducted in Helsinki, Finland, looked at those suffering from anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorders. It showed that they are at a significantly higher risk for diagnoses of autoimmune disease.

The study’s results were published in PLoS One. Researchers discovered that about 9 percent of patients suffering from eating disorders were diagnosed with one or more autoimmune diseases, but the approximate number of controlled patients decreased to 5.4 percent.

These findings suggested that endocrinologic and gastroenterologic diseases, such as type 1 diabetes and Crohn’s disease, were much more likely to occur in eating disordered patients.

Study: Alcohol Ups Danger of HPV The sexually transmitted disease human papillomavirus will be contracted by at least half of all sexually active people during their lifetime, but many have no clue they are infected, are asymptomatic, and their infections will disappear within two years.

In some cases, however, the infection lingers in what’s called “persistent HPV,” according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Yahoo Health reported that a new study published in the journal Epidemiology & Infection suggests that women who drink alcohol may have an increased risk of persistent HPV. When the National Cancer Center, Korea, scientists tested 9,230 women for HPV and asked them about their alcohol intake, they found that current drinkers were nearly three times more likely than non-drinkers to test positive for HPV at the beginning of the study, and then again at a two-year follow-up.

Women who’d been drinking for five or more years also faced a 2.3 times higher risk of persistent HPV than those who started drinking less than five years prior.

“There are HPV strains that never cause genital warts, but have the potential for causing cervical abnormalities and can lead to cervical cancer,” Greg Juckett, M.D., a professor of family medicine at West Virginia University, told Yahoo Health. “It’s these types — types 16 and 18 — that we’re especially concerned about.”

Your life, better

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“Dog lovers, meet your newest hero—Ricochet.”

—Diane Sawyer

Where There’s a Will There’s a Wave . . .

The Moving Story Behind the YouTubeTM Sensation— from puppy prodigy, to service-dog dropout, to inspirational phenomenon . . . a beautiful golden retriever named Ricochet teaches us all that by following our hearts, we can live out our destiny, and become a force for good in the world.

A true pawtobiography about the healing power of an ordinary dog with an extraordinary spirit, Ricochet is a reminder to stay true to ourselves, celebrate our uniqueness, and appreciate the vast ocean of potential inherent in each of us.

C’mon! Ride the wave of hope with the only dog in the world who surfs with wounded warriors, people with disabilities, and children with special needs as an assistive aid and SURFice dog.

Like the bestsellers Blind Hope and Marley and Me, Ricochet’s story reminds us to recognize the richness our pets bring into our lives. And, like Dewey the Library Cat, Ricochet has not only touched lives, she has actually changed them.

Ricochet, the YouTube sensation, surfed her way into millions of hearts with her message of hope, healing, and “pawing it forward.”

Available from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and wherever books are sold.

MIND FRONTLINE FUNNIES:

Older, Sober, But Young At Heart

by Debra McKenna

T

here’s an old Neil Sedaka song called “Breaking Up is Hard to Do.” I’d contend that the same could be said of growing up: It’s hard.

When a person keeps him or herself in a state of suspended adolescence, as many addict and alcoholics do by starting to abuse substances at that age, all bets are off with regard to maturing. It isn’t until we get clean and sober 10 or 20 years later that we learn we still react to people, places and things as if we were 14. But we’re 35, so it isn’t exactly charming.

Once the emotional maturity begins in sobriety, don’t expect to catch up with your “normie” peers anytime soon. Fifteen years behind is 15 years behind. I’m about to celebrate 25 years of sobriety, which means I’ve been sober 5 years longer than I drank and used. So, I’m about 40 (I wish).

What I’ve found even harder than emotional maturity is money maturity. Finances still scare the bejesus out of me. I want to stick my head in the sand with regard to them.

I’ve noticed that sober people with kids tend to do better with maturing money-wise, but then they just blow it some other way, eating a diet made up exclusively of chocolate éclairs and marshmallows or dating really bad people.

The good news is that it does get better, and with each day of sobriety comes another day of growing up on some level. Another final frontier is conquered.

One day you’ll find yourself doing something that grown-ups do—like buying a house or mediating an argument — and you’ll think, “Wow, look at me!”

Other days you’ll find yourself avoiding bills or flirting with a lifeguard because you forgot you’re 20 years older than him. It’s a process.

Expect to feel proud of yourself one

Your life, better

day and embarrassed by your actions another. As a character on “Ray Donovan” said the other night: “…growing up ain’t all rainbows and roses.”

There’s more good news, however.

At some point after sobering up, the youthful quirks that stay with you actually do become a bit charismatic.

People may find your exuberance over computer games cute or your penchant for head banger music enchanting. After all, there’s also the song “Young at Heart,” which tell us that being young on the inside is worth every treasure on earth.

We alkies and addicts have got a leg up there.

In closing, let me offer a new chorus

to Sedaka’s song while we celebrate being young at heart and all that we’ll derive out of being alive until we’re 105.

“They say that growing up is hard to do/Now that I’m sober/I know that’s it’s true/Don’t say that it never ends/I know I’ll be grown up by the time I wear Depends…”

And now you’ve seen where I still need to mature: I actually thought that last line was funny.  Debra McKenna worked as a feature writer and editor for city magazines in Sacramento, Denver, Lake Tahoe, and Las Vegas. She’s been involved in the recovery community for nearly 25 years and is the author of the novel, “Recovering from Life.”

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MIND

Owning your addiction story Overcoming the narrative that tells you to keep on using.

T

here is an extraordinary force that helps perpetuate all addiction. I call it the Addiction Story. This is the story you tell yourself that builds the case for continuing your addictive behavior. Every addict has one, and it must be disproved if one is to move out of addiction.

Without knowing it, addicts repeat the Addiction Story to themselves internally, a negative mantra over and over again.

Like a twisted shaman, they repeat the words and keep themselves locked into a certain way of being, suspended like a piece of metal equidistant between two identical magnets. This story gains momentum over time; such is the power of storytelling and myth.

To be stuck in our Addiction Story is no different than being possessed by a demon who has taken control of the system.

System override! The demon just wants to feed itself.

It uses all manner of tricks and tools to continue to force the system to support its agenda. It co-opts your mind and puts it to good use by creating the most vivid, splendid and realistic story; one so intricately woven that you will die to uphold it.

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Renew Magazine

by Tommy Rosen

Thus the machinery of denial is constructed. Denial— that’s the constant vigilance to not know what you know. It takes an unbelievable amount of energy to keep it up. What an astonishing dis-ease addiction is.

Once I found marijuana at 13 years old, I began to create my Addiction Story, gathering up evidence to convince myself (and everyone else) that my story was true.

My story’s basic premise was that marijuana was a necessary ingredient for me to succeed and enjoy my time in this world. With each enjoyable escapade or warm connection I made with a fellow pot smoker, or perhaps a girl I hooked up with who smoked pot, I added to the body of evidence.

This is cool. This is for me.

I chose to live with this substance as a central part of my life. So, if that’s the choice I made for years and years, what was going on beneath that choice? What was actually there beneath the illusory tale known as the Addiction Story?

At the deepest level, the real story went something like this: I am not getting what I need in my life and I do not know how to get it. I feel the world has let me down. No one seems

Fall 2014

to recognize or understand me. I feel confused, insecure, angry and sad, like a victim of circumstances beyond my control. I do not trust that the earth and its inhabitants are ever going to provide what I need in this life.

Therefore, I am going to take what I need by whatever means necessary. I am building a world that makes sense to me. In this world, marijuana (substitute any drug or addictive behavior here) is king. It brings me a sense of ease, joy, and laughter. It makes me feel cool and different. It has given me a community of peers who get me, and the ability to attract girls. I have found something that genuinely makes me feel better and I don’t want it to be taken away ever.

I will do whatever I can to maintain my story that this is the correct path for me because if I don’t, the truth is that I have no idea how to get through life without it.

I am not enough.

I feel powerless in this world.

My heart is broken.

Behind every addiction is a story. And addicts are the best of storytellers. It is damn near impossible to disprove a story to someone who still wants or needs it to be true. That was certainly the case for me.

Without any knowledge of a better way, without the capacity for honest self-reflection to review my actions and their consequences for my life, having shut out all outside information (unless it directly supported my story), I started to get further and further away from myself and the things I cared most about.

My Addiction Story became at once more bolstered and more desperate. It was so critically important to my ego not to let go of the story.

I transferred to Taft, a boarding school in Connecticut, in September of 1983 as a junior. The transition was difficult. My small stature continued to be a challenge. People thought I was a freshman, which brought a lot of social issues. The kids at school who smoked pot—and there were a good number of them—stood out to me in bold print.

One day I was feeling particularly out of place, a bit lonely and insecure. I went to the phone to call my best friend back home and requested that he send me some pot. It came in a small well-constructed package a few days later.

Armed with new confidence, I approached two of the “bold print” guys and said, “You want to get stoned?”

Somewhat surprised, they said, “You smoke pot, Rosen?

We had no idea, dude. Yeah, let’s do it.”

These guys had never paid me five seconds of attention.

Now we would become friends because of this common interest. Instant community! Marijuana delivered once again.

I had found an identity at Taft and I would wear it until I graduated (barely) two years later.

I made it all the way to the month of graduation, nearly two years. I was in a room with two of my friends pulling bong hits. Right before my friend Bill took a hit, I said out loud, “Even with all the close calls and stress, we really are not going to get caught doing this.” At that moment, a knock came on the door and a teacher entered, catching us red-handed.

“You know,” I said. “I could be wrong.”

We were all suspended for a week and then allowed to return to school and graduate. If we were caught again doing anything illegal, we’d be thrown out.

There were only three weeks left until graduation, but I smoked pot immediately upon my return to Taft after the suspension. Part of it was a ‘fuck you’ to The Man. Part of it was about playing the role of the undaunted and ridiculously daring (read: stupid) teenager.

And, of course, part of it was that I just didn’t want to let it go.

My tilted relationship with drugs would continue another six years. It got very dark and I am lucky to have survived.

In the end, I cornered myself. With no move left, the stark truth of my situation came into focus. My addiction story collapsed and the demon was exorcised.

In order for me to change, my story had to be smashed upon the rocks. This is the way it is for almost every person in recovery from acute addiction. And, I believe, this continues for the rest of our lives. We must constantly upgrade our story to reflect the unfolding revelations, which come as the result of paying attention to our lives one day at a time.  Tommy Rosen is a recovery expert who incorporates yoga and holistic living into his recovery everyday. The above is an excerpt from his book, “Recovery 2.0: Move Beyond Addiction and Upgrade Your Life,” which will be released

by Hay House on Oct. 21.

“.You smoke pot, Rosen?

We had no idea, dude. Yeah, let’s do it.:”

Your life, better

RenewEveryDay.com

17

MIND

History Repeating:

Substance abuse among millennials has parallels to boomers.

by Dr. Harris Stratyner, PhD.

G

eneration Y, or the Millennial Generation, refers to the group of individuals consisting of folks born between the early 1980s to the early 2000s.

It is interesting to note that drug use − particularly marijuana and other mood-altering substance use − has been up among many of those who qualify as Millennials, although the picture has not been consistent for all drugs.

The National Institute on Drug Abuse did a survey that showed that in 2013, almost 24 percent of seniors in high school had smoked marijuana in the past month. There were also increases in marijuana use among 8thand 10th-graders.

It certainly is understandable that marijuana use is up, given the notion that if medical marijuana is safe, and there is a push to legalize marijuana in general, public opinion would result in an increase in use. That would be especially true among impressionable youth.

As far as heroin use trending up, this is clearly related to a crackdown on prescription opiates, which has limited their availability and driven up the price. In turn, heroin appears more attractive.

The historical element lies with all of the turmoil in the world. Millennials, like Baby Boomers, are reacting to the stress they are feeling from the

“pain and pressure” of current life.

The desire to self-medicate, along with the misguided perception that through drugs they can explore their inner consciousness, becomes stronger. This can be perceived almost as an intellectual endeavor − in their case the advent of “techno-life,” which raises new trends to be rapidly dispersed in the minds of many young people.

Perhaps someday, whatever the next generation of youth are referred to, they will realize that change in the world, inner consciousness and the realization of life’s mysteries might best be approached with a clear head.  Dr. Harris Stratyner, Ph.D., vice president of Caron Treatment Center and clinical director of

The desire to self-medicate, along with the misguided

the New York region, is internationally known for developing and implementing the groundbreaking

perception that through drugs they can explore their

clinical model of “Carefrontation,” a treatment

inner consciousness, becomes stronger.

It recognizes addiction as a disease and stresses each

approach that doesn’t shame or blame the patient. individual’s responsibility to work with healthcare providers to reach the goal of complete abstinence.

Alcohol consumption was down (although I have seen just the opposite in my practice), as well as cigarette use, and more recently illicit use of prescription opiates. However, use of heroin, MDMA, synthetic forms of marijuana, and alternative forms of tobacco (e.g., hookah tobacco) has risen.

Cocaine use has been trending down, but certain stimulant medication use has been elevated (e.g., Adderall).

Surveys always are interesting and any student of statistics has to allow for some margin of error, but these trends do lend themselves to a theory I have always had. It’s based on the simple old adage: “History repeats itself,” with perhaps a few new twists.

18

Renew Magazine

Fall 2014