2 Richmond Register 2 Health Beat December 2013
HEALTH BEAT
AUGUST 2013
What can you say to help someone with cancer?
Therapist shares her patients’ four favorite boosts By Niki Barr, Ph.D.
T
his year alone, 238,000 men in America will be diagnosed with new cases of prostate cancer, the most common incidence of the disease. More than 234,580 women and men will learn they have breast cancer, the second most common type of cancer, according to the National Cancer Institute. All told, about 13.7 million Americans are living with cancer or a history of cancer.* Chances are, you know one or more of them. “Friends, family, co-workers – they can all play an important role in helping a cancer patient’s recovery simply by providing emotional support,” says pi-
oneering cancer psychotherapist Dr. Niki Barr, author of “Emotional Wellness: The Other Half of Treating Cancer.” (canceremotionalwellbeing.com). After a diagnosis of cancer, people have a greater need for social support, which has been shown to influence health outcomes, according to a National Institutes of Health report. Of the nine types of social support, the report says emotional support is among the most important. “Even if you’re not among the person’s closest friends or family, you can help far more than you imagine, simply by being encouraging and supportive,” says Barr, who works exclusively with
cancer patients and their loved ones. “I understand people don’t always know what to say to someone who’s just been diagnosed or is in the midst of treatments, and yes, sometimes they do say the wrong thing,” Barr says. “I remind my patients often to refuse to listen to cancer ‘horror stories,’ so please, don’t tell those!” While everyone is different, Barr says that she’s found a few things her patients consistently say benefit them: Sometimes saying nothing at all says everything. If your friend or loved one wants to talk about her treatments, complain about his situation or not talk at all, being {Continued on page 14}
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CONTENTS December 2013 • Issue 12
Ann Laurence............................................. Publisher
FEATURE
Bill Robinson.................................................... Editor
Get Your
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Heather Arvin..............................Media Consultant Tim Merlin.....................................Media Consultant Perry Stocker...............................Media Consultant Nancy Woodward.......................Media Consultant
Read Dr. Jack Rutherford column on Page 8
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Health Beat is a publication of the Richmond Register.
A PUBLICATION OF THE RICHMOND REGISTER
ARTICLES 2
What can you say to help some one with cancer?
4
GROWING UP: The number 504 and school accommodations
5 SELF DEFENSE & MARTIAL ARTS: Using brains instead of fists is best way to ‘bully proof ’
Large Selection Women’s & Men’s
6
Home health can help keep you Home for the Holidays
10
MENTAL MORSELS: The person-as-story model
12
CHIROPRACTIC CORNER: America, we have a problem
13
KentuckyOne Health launches KentuckyOne Anywhere Care
15
Don’t wait until terminal illness strikes to realize what’s important in your life
4 Health Beat December 2013
The number 504 GROWING UP
A
and school accommodations
couple of years before, a boy had suffered a severe concussion in a car accident. Fortunately he appeared to recover fully and has been doing fairly well in his schoolwork. However, his parents are beginning to notice that their son is starting to struggle in completing his work and has become more inattentive. His parents are now starting to spend several hours each night working with their son on his homework. They have asked his teacher to modify it so as to lessen the time it is taking for the boy to complete his work. His teacher reports that the boy does get distracted but that his work is still where it should be so she should not have to make any modifications as it would be unfair to the other students. The school suggests that the parents have an outside evaluation conducted to explore what may be causing the difficulties. The evaluation confirms the boy is still experiencing the after-effects of the concussion, and it is showing up as inattention and difficulty with organization. The evaluator diagnoses him with ADHD. The parents assume that means their son can get the academic accommodations through special education services. However, the school refuses as the boy is still performing at grade level academically, and his behaviors are not having a significantly negative impact in class. The school then mentions for the parents to get a 504. Many times this single number is vaguely referenced to by school personnel but no further explanation occurs. The 504 refers to Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. This law was passed to protect people with disabilities from discrimination while they are working or participating in federally funded programs, such as public schools. It fo-
Dan Florell, Ph.D. and Praveena Salins, M.D.
cuses on students who have a disability that has “substantially limited major life activities.” If a student has been diagnosed with a disability, such as the situation described above, then the student is entitled to a plan that provides individually designed services and accommodations that address the impact of the disability on the school activity. A disability under the law covers a wide range of physiological and psychological impairments including ADHD, bipolar disorder, poor eye sight, cancer and cerebral palsy. In the above scenario, the school would invite the parents to a 504 meeting where the results of the evaluation would confirm the existence of a disability and that it is limiting the boy’s ability to learn. A school team and the parents would then create an Individualized Accommodation Plan (IAP) that contains the steps the school will take to ensure the boy’s needs are addressed. This plan is then reviewed periodically so it can be updated and address the boy’s current needs. If your child has a disability that results him or her to struggle in school, consider asking the school for a 504 plan. Even if your child’s current teacher is providing accommodations, next year’s teacher may not. It is better to have a 504 plan in place and not need to use it rather than not having it. A 504 plan can provide peace of mind for parents that their child will get needed accommodations every year that he or she are in school. Dan Florell, Ph.D., is an assistant professor at Eastern Kentucky University and has a private practice, MindPsi (www.mindpsi. net). Praveena Salins, M.D., is a pediatrician at Madison Pediatric Associates (www.madisonpeds.com).
December 2013 Health Beat 5 SELF DEFENSE & MARTIAL ARTS
Using brains instead of fists is best way to ‘bully proof’
Master Will Schneider
I always ask kids, “Can we make a bully our friend?” They say yes, and I counter with another question, “Does it always work?” Of course, the answer to that question is no, but we can always try. However, in younger grades just asking the bully to be our friend can make a huge difference. In future columns I’ll go over more simple, easy ways to use bully-proof techniques that teach kids to use their brains and not their fists.
L
ately, I’ve been doing a lot of Bully Proof talks to schools and youth groups at churches. I teach kids to fight bullies using their brains not their fists. That approach seems to sometimes carry some weight coming from a black belt. In this article, I’ll go over four basic bully-proof techniques that I teach to kids. Please note there are tons more, many which I’ll cover in future articles. The first and easiest technique I teach is to walk away. In the old days it was “stick and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.” Lots of kids already know who the bullies are in school, or on the playground. Kids try sometimes to makes friends too hard or don’t know when to exit a bad spot. The easiest technique is to walkway. The second is to ignore the bully. Many bullies are looking for attention and a willing prey. I have kids role model someone taunting them and the child just ignores the bully. This techniques builds confidence in a child and teaches them to learn how to deal with others by not taking everything to heart. Another technique I teach is to meet and greet the bully. Many times bullies are looking for friends, too, but many not know it. This takes confidences, but if a child sticks his or her hand out, looks the bully in the eye and introduces themselves, it shows a ton of confidence and may even make the bully rethink things. The last technique I’ll tell you about today is to try to make a friend.
Master Will Schneider is CEO of Elite Martial Arts & Fitness, Martial Arts Global and Elite Martial Arts Challenge. He is coordinator of the Elite World Martial Arts Championship at the ESPN Wide World of Sports. He also is a popular speaker on Bully Proof, Kid Safe and Adult Self Defense topics. Reach him at was8189@gmail.com.
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6 Health Beat December 2013 MADISON COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT
Home health can help keep you
Home for the Holidays I
’m sure you’ve heard about how our population in the United States is aging. This is also the case in Madison County, where our aging statistics are similar to those for the U.S. overall. Currently, adults over age 65 make up 11 percent of our county’s population. However, population estimates project that adults over age 65 will make up 18 of the county’s population by the year 2030. Most people really would prefer to live at home as long as possible, and we’ve been caring for each other in our homes since the dawn of civilization. It’s what humans do. Even when we are ill, being at home brings comfort and peace of mind that cannot be found anywhere else. In fact, studies are showing that the elderly experience better outcomes when services and supports are in place to help them recover from illnesses or procedures at home. A key factor in this is home health care.
Home health care is often ordered by a physician after someone has been hospitalized. However, in many situations, doctors can order home health care as an intervention that will help patients avoid or postpone hospitalization. When appropriate, it Christie Green, MPH can be a very cost-effective alternative MCHD Public to hospital or long-term care. Information Officer Teaching is a big part of home health visits. Home health nurses teach patients how to manage their health problems, and they teach family members or caregivers how to help them. Because we’re living longer, we have more chronic and complex health problems. These problems can feel overwhelming and impossible to control. However, there are often simple steps that can be taken to manage problems and
December 2013 Health Beat 7
improve someone’s quality of life at home. For example, home health care can help a patient learn to manage breathing issues associated with COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). Home health nurses can teach family members how to monitor their loved one for signs of worsening congestive heart failure and take steps to avoid going to the hospital. They can work with caregivers and patients to make a plan for avoiding diabetes complications. If a patient is bedfast, they can help caregivers prevent bed sores. With home health care, all of this (and much more) happens in the comfort of a person’s home. Nurses can tailor their work to the individual needs of the patient and family. Home health services typically conduct a home assessment at the start of care. This includes a safety assessment to identify risks in the home that can be removed or improved. For example, the home health nurse might find things like area rugs or electrical cords that increase someone’s risk of falling. They might also identify medications that cause dizziness
that could cause someone to fall. If they find risks like this, home health can work with the patient’s doctor to request walkers or other assistive devices. They can also request physical therapy to help improve the patient’s strength and balance. Home health care is not just for older individuals. It is also important for someone recovering from injuries, someone needing help to transition home after a major surgery, and for someone requiring treatments, such as chemotherapy or dialysis, at home. Patients are leaving hospitals earlier after surgeries and often need home health care for surgical incisions or homebased physical therapy to assist with recovery. Medical devices that were once only seen in hospitals are now coming into living rooms, and home health care is an important part of helping make sure that those devices are working properly. Talk to your physician to see if home health is right for you or your loved one. You can also contact MEPCO Home Health at 623-3441 to request a free consultation.
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8 Health Beat December 2013 DR. JACK RUTHERFORD ON HEALTH & FITNESS
Get Your
RUNNING PROGRAM on track
I
’m often asked, “What’s the best exercise?” And my answer is always, “The one that you will do.” Despite that caveat, one of the best forms of exercise for overall health, fitness and weight control is running. Running improves cardiovascular fitness, strengthens the heart muscle and increases the oxygen carrying capacity of the blood. Long-term effects include beneficial effects on heart disease risk factors such as cholesterol, blood pressure and body fat. Despite the clear benefits of running, many adults have a difficult time sticking with a running program. If you are struggling with motivation, here’s what experts suggest to get you back on track. Set a goal A tangible goal goes a long way towards keeping you running. Make the goal realistic and measurable, like running a 5K race. Then commit to the race by signing up. Nothing can motivate a runner more than putting your money where your feet are. By registering, you’ve announced to the world that you’re a runner, which means now you have to prove it. It’s important to visualize the end result during training. Picture yourself finishing the race in front of family and friends with all the emotion that will accompany that moment.
14 Richmond Register
HEALTH BEAT
Run with friends Peer pressure can be a positive thing. Finding a running partner will make it more fun to run and harder to make excuses when you don’t feel like running. The sense of support and accountability is a constant reminder of your commitment. Plan a varied training program Whatever your goal, you will want a training program that progressively prepares you to achieve your desired outcome. If you’re beginning a “couch-to-5K” program and your longest run to date is a mile, you should start by increasing your long run 10 percent each week until you can run an entire 5K before race day. Be sure to vary your workout routine by using intervals, hills and long, slow distance runs for best results. Mix treadmill running with outdoor runs in parks and on streets to keep things fresh. Tap into technology Get plugged in to timing and tracking functions that log and monitor running workouts. Wear a heart rate monitor or pedometer to record step counts. Some apps feature GPS capabilities to help you navigate new routes and trails while you run. Listen to music Music is such a mood enhancer that it can make a boring run into an uplifting one. Dial into your favorite station on IHeart Radio or Pandora or create your own heart-pounding playlist of songs. The tempo or beat of a song can help push you to go even faster. Rely on your pride Research shows that many runners are motivated by internal factors such as the pride and self-esteem that accompany overcoming a challenge. Those with intrinsic motivation are more likely to withstand the boredom, discomfort or injuries that go along with training.
AUGUST 2013 December 2013 Health Beat 9
Taking pride in your athletic ability and successes are important for long-term motivation. Dress the part You’ve heard the phrase “dress Dr. Jack Rutherford for success.” It works on the track too. Nothing boosts one’s motivation like some sporty new duds. New gear can cue you to run. Leave your running clothes out the night before, and you’ll be reminded that you’re an athlete who likes to run. Get a trainer For some, it may take a gentle (or not so gentle) push from a personal trainer or coach to reach the goal. The benefits of trainers are that they help supply you with inspiration, direction and encouragement, at a price of course. Trainers are great because you can feed off their passion and attitude. Be sure to get your “Me” time Finding time for oneself is difficult in today’s cluttered schedule. Running time may be the only chance you get to devote time to yourself. You can reflect on your life, goals and dreams, all without interruption. Running lets you focus on you and nobody else. A chance to give back Participating in community races and other exercise events that help raise money for charity allow you to fulfill your passion and your heart at the same time. Helping yourself while helping others is a win-win situation. Just about any exercise is good for you. But if you want the biggest bang for your buck, running is one of the best if you stay motivated. Dr. Jack Rutherford is a professor and chair of Eastern Kentucky University’s Department of Exercise & Sport Science.
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10 Health Beat December 2013 MENTAL MORSELS
The person-as-story model Thomas W. Thornberry, M.A.
I
t’s a basic axiom in psychology that the way we think about ourselves determines a great deal about how we conduct ourselves. And more importantly, how we feel about ourselves, both as individuals and a society. In our modern world, the machine model has triumphed over our thinking about ourselves. I can remember, even in grade school, my classroom health textbooks had titles such as “the body machine,” and Saturday morning jingles like School House Rock stated, “You’re a machine, I’m a machine.” The model is so popular because it offers up quick ways to measure health and treat illness. Each body organ is a mini-machine,
doing its specialized work, as part of a greater machine. Food is our “fuel,” and exercise is considered a way to make the machine more “efficient.” Doctors can even remove defective “parts” and replace them with transplanted tissue or even literally machine parts of metal and plastic. There’s no surprise then that the machine model of the mind wasn’t far behind. Sigmund Freud’s theory cast the mind as basically a steam engine. Even today, research is out to find which piece of brain machinery controls this or that behavior. As useful as it can be, though, the machine model can also take us to some
pretty uncomfortable places. For example, when a machine starts to break down, what do we do with it? Why, we throw it away, of course, and get a new one. A shinier one. Newer is always better. So, how does this shape our ideas about the elderly? Or about experienced employees in the workplace? And because all machines exist to do work, the most important question: Now that we’ve made the human machine more efficient, what is its purpose? What doesn’t get discussed much are the alternatives to the machine model. In the book “Narrative Psychology: The Storied Nature of Human Conduct” (Sarbin, 1986), various authors propose a “story” model for a human being. Now the word “story” gets a bad rap. At best, it’s associated with fiction, entertainment. In my grandparents’ time, saying a person “tells stories” was a euphemism for conveying that they told lies. A more forgiving definition for a story is “a set of events that happen over time.” Each one of us has a story, and each part of our physical, mental and social lives also has a story. We’re all walking, talking anthologies. In a story, food ceases to be mere fuel and becomes a way of sharing stories with others, even a story itself. (“This meal was so good, how did you do it?”) Exercise stops being about efficiency and becomes a struggle against the odds, a means of heroism and self-improvement.
EALTH BEAT
Richmond Register 11
Unlike a machine, which has to be tasked with a future purpose, a story exists in the telling, in the present. It is, that it is. What’s more, stories are timeless. Once a story exists, it is forever. No one can unmake what has already happened. Each time we tell our story, we bring it to life all over again, we renew it. Unlike machines, which have to be newer to be valued, stories can have some age on them. Aren’t “the classics” older stories that have stood the test of time? And what do we recall best about the elderly but the stories with which they gift us? I’m rather drawn to the kinds of options that existing as a story can offer me. So what is YOUR story? Thomas W. Thornberry, M.A., is a mental health professional who has worked extensively with those suffering lifestyle stress and communication issues. His interest is in language and the power of words to create change. Thomas welcomes your feedback: sirtomas@gmail.com.
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December 2013 Health Beat 11
12 Health Beat December 2013
CHIROPRACTIC CORNER
America, we have a Robert Boardman Chiropractor
O
kay, folks, for the past few months, I have been asking some really eye-opening questions about health. Over the next few paragraphs I hope to clear up a few things. During the Spoonbread Festival, I had a short questionnaire that was a way for me to learn what the general public thinks health is. The first question was: “Do you think you are healthy?” Now, let me state that most were not, in my opinion. Over 80 percent were not. But 95 percent stated they thought they were healthy. That is exactly why I did this survey. I am not saying they were wrong, because I don’t know what their standard of “healthy” is. The second question was: How do you determine if you are healthy? This is where the major disconnect comes in. The most common answer was by pain or the lack thereof. This is one of the reasons the USA is 37th in health out of 37 countries as noted in the 2000 study by the World Health Organization. Let’s start by getting the definition of health. Dorland’s defines health as …“optimum physical, mental and social wellbeing and not necessarily the absence of disease or infirmity.” This makes sense when you consider a lot of illnesses actually cause very little pain until their late stages. The first sign of heart issues is often a heart attack. The pancreas has been called the silent killer, and cancer is usually not painful until it has progressed to where the size of the tumor effects surrounding tissue. So waiting for pain is, in my opinion, a sure way to have a very sick nation. Back to the survey. I also asked if they thought people were taking too many prescriptions. More than 90 percent answered “yes.” But when asked if they would be interested in finding lifestyle changes they could make to reduce the number of medications, they answered “no.”
Curious? So an additional question was, if they thought they were healthy if their blood test numbers were normal, even if they had to take meds to make them average. Again, the majority answer was “yes.” I liken this to having a fire and the smoke detector going off, and instead of putting out the fire, you just take the batteries out of the detector. If your organs are not working to their capacity, it seems to me that finding the cause is more important than covering the symptom. Another question was what they think chiropractors focus on. Not surprisingly, the main response was bones or the spine. This is a common misconception, the true focus for chiropractors is actually (drum roll please) the nervous system. This is easily confused because the nerves we often work on are in the bones of the spine. Another misconception is that we are also focused on areas of pain but again we are more concerned with the cause of the symptoms and its associated loss of function. So, it makes sense that we are a very unhealthy nation. But even with the misconceptions about health, we also knowingly make very unhealthy choices for food, hydration and physical/emotional stresses. I hear phrase, “I know it’s bad for me but,” rather often. I think people have a safety net mentality. What they seem to think is, “I can be overweight, unhealthy, eat every bad thing, have no energy and be depressed because there is a pill for it.” So to review, we have one of the sickest nations in the world, although most people consider themselves healthy. The majority consider they are healthy if they: are not in enough pain to make them lose something that is important to them and can take medications to cover symptoms or make their blood work average. We knowingly make lifestyle choices that are bad for our health mainly for convenience and because of over scheduling. {Continued on page 14}
December 2013 Health Beat 13
KentuckyOne Health launches KentuckyOne Anywhere Care Service provides 24/7 virtual urgent care across the state
K
entuckians have a new 24/7 option for urgent care with KentuckyOne Anywhere Care, a phone and video chatbased medical service launched Nov. 1. KentuckyOne Health, the state’s largest health system, is among the first hospital systems in the U.S. to make such a service available to the public. It operates the St. Joseph Berea hospital as well as St. Joseph Outpatient Care Center in Richmond. New or established patients can consult with board-certified family practice providers without leaving home — 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Patients can request care via the Internet at www.KentuckyOneAnywhereCare.org or by calling a toll-free phone number. Following a request, patients receive a phone or video chat call from a provider within 30 minutes. KentuckyOne Anywhere Care providers may prescribe medications, if appropriate, recommend an over-the-counter medication or provide home-care options. Providers do not prescribe or refill prescriptions for controlled substances such as narcotic pain relievers. Prior to launching it publicly, KentuckyOne made the service available to its employees and their families. The service has received excellent feedback. Concerns treated included sinus infections, upper respiratory infections, urinary tract infections and minor injuries. Larry Shepherd of Louisville said he recently started feeling sick over the weekend and decided to try the service. “My regular doctor wasn’t open, and I really didn’t want to wait until Monday to get an appointment,” Shepherd said. “I called close to midnight and the doctor called back in about five minutes. She was very in-depth and asked me what remedies I had tried and what medications I have used before. I was very impressed with the doctor.” Shepherd was able to get his prescriptions filled on Sunday morning and felt well enough to work on Monday. “Anywhere Care is a logical extension of the care that we provide and it complements in-person services,” said Ron Waldridge, M.D., a KentuckyOne Health family physician. “Larry’s experience is a great example of how this service can
help our patients. He had a common concern that he had experienced before and his regular primary care provider was unavailable.” KentuckyOne Anywhere Care also provides a follow-up report to the patient’s KentuckyOne provider following a visit. If needed, the KentuckyOne Anywhere Care provider will refer patients for a follow-up clinic visit or to an emergency department. “Increasing access to health care and strengthening the primary care system in the commonwealth is an important step in our work to create a healthier Kentucky,” said Ruth W. Brinkley, chief executive officer of KentuckyOne Health. “KentuckyOne Anywhere Care is one way we are doing that.” KentuckyOne Anywhere Care is offered through a partnership with Carena Inc., a pioneer in the use of telemedicine. Carena now serves 4.5 million people in five states through its health system partnerships, self-insured organizations and consumer web services. “We are delighted to partner with KentuckyOne Health to bring virtual care delivery to the Commonwealth and we are proud to assist them in providing options for care in the community.” said Ralph C. Derrickson, Carena’s president and CEO. KentuckyOne Anywhere Care costs $35 per visit and is paid by patients, whether or not they are covered by insurance. The cost is less than typical urgent care and a fraction of the cost of a normal emergency room visit. To request a visit through KentuckyOne Anywhere Care, call toll-free 1-855-356-8054 or visit KentuckyOneAnywhereCare.org. About KentuckyOne Health KentuckyOne Health was formed when two major Kentucky health care organizations came together in early 2012. KentuckyOne Health combines the Jewish and Catholic heritages of the two former systems – Jewish Hospital & St. Mary’s HealthCare and Saint Joseph Health System.
14 Health Beat December 2013
AUGUST 2013
HEALTH BEAT
What can you say to help someone with cancer? {Continued from page 2} a good listener or simply a quiet presence speaks volumes. When a person complains, many of us jump to “help� by suggesting solutions. That’s likely not what your friend or loved one is looking for. As my patients have said time and time again, sometimes they just want to get it all off their chest. An empathetic listener is all the help they need. Make your offer of help specific. “Call me if you need anything at all,� puts the burden on your loved one – who already carries a tremendous burden! Instead, you might offer to make dinner for her family on Wednesday night and ask what meal everyone enjoys. Or volunteer to drive him to his doctor appointment on Monday afternoon. This makes it easy for your friend to politely accept or decline your offer, and it ensures you provide the assistance you feel comfortable providing. Not sure what to talk about? Follow his lead. Some days, my patients want to talk only about their illness, the treatment they’re undergoing, and how they feel. Other days, they want to talk about anything BUT cancer. We all have days when we’re immersed in our own lives and other days when we want
America, we have a problem
to be distracted – or to just feel normal. If you’re not sure what to say, err on the side of being positive. Don’t say what you don’t know – for instance, you don’t know that everything is going to be just fine. But if you admire your loved one’s strength or sense of humor, if your friend’s attitude inspires you, tell them so. We all benefit from hearing a sincere compliment. When a person who’s going through what may be the most difficult, stressful event of their lives knows that you care, it makes a difference, Barr says. “If you’re truly at a loss for words, it never hurts to simply say, ‘I’m thinking about you.� *As of Jan. 1, 2012; National Cancer Institute About Niki Barr, Ph.D. Niki Barr, Ph.D., founded a pioneering psychotherapy practice dedicated to working with cancer patients in all stages of the disease, along with their family members, caregivers and friends.
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Finally, chiropractors have been mislabeled for the last 118 years as bone and pain doctors and often used as a last resort. To become a healthier nation I believe we need to: 1) Make healthier lifestyles choices in the three areas of stress: physical, mental/emotional and chemical 2) Determine health by function and not blaming things on age 3) Not covering up symptoms but trying to take care of the cause 4) Use chiropractic as a way to grow health instead of a last resort. In my mind this ABC news report says it all, “Experts say most of those prescriptions are unnecessary. The United States makes up only 4.6 percent of the world’s population, but consumes 80 percent of its opioids and 99 percent of the world’s hydrocodone, the opiate in Vicodin.� No wonder we are not in much pain. If we want a healthier nation, what hasn’t worked will continue not to work until changes are made.
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Richmond Register 13
December 2013 Health Beat 15
Don’t wait until terminal illness strikes to realize what’s important in your life Woman living with incurable cancer offers three ways to get the most out of every day By Jane Schwartzberg
J
ane Schwartzberg cringes when she hears someone say that a terrible accident or frightening medical diagnosis made them realize what’s important in life. “In some ways, I do wish everyone could experience a taste of terminal, if that’s what it takes to make them appreciate the intangible gifts we receive not just during the holidays, but all year,” says Schwartzberg, co-author with Marcy Tolkoff Levy of “Naked Jane Bares All.” The book shares Jane’s story with candor and humor. “But I wish they’d known all along, and I hate the thought of goodness coming at the expense of so much suffering.” Schwartzberg says she was clear about what’s most important before she was diagnosed with stage four incurable breast cancer. As a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt and friend, she knew that all that really matters is how much love we give and receive. The holidays are a wonderful opportunity for people to remember that and to focus on who they love. But too often, the holidays become a source of anxiety, stress and tension. Financial concerns, having too much to do, and missing loved ones were among the top causes of holiday stress, according to a recent Mental Health America survey. “Although I won’t attribute any revelations about what’s most important in life to my illness, I can say that there are a few things that I am trying to do better since getting sick,” Schwartzberg says. “The holidays are a great time to cultivate a spirit of gratitude and to re-focus on the things that are most meaningful.” For Schwartzberg, those include: Showing up If you’re worried about yesterday or always planning for tomorrow, you’re missing the present moment and any wonderful experiences it may hold. “Although my clock ticks louder than others, I know we are all here for a short time,” Schwartzberg says. “I am determined to find joy in every single day. It may come from the simplest of things: a view from my window, a great conversation or a
hot cup of coffee. But I know I need to be always present and available, with an open mind and open heart, to experience any of it.” Riding her love train We all have people in our lives who care about us, and it’s important to let them know how much we appreciate them. Schwartzberg’s “love train” is a metaphor for all of the people she chooses to share her life with. “They are rooting me on and giving my family and me love and support,” she says. “I try to be as meticulous and thoughtful as I possibly can be with those on board, and that means making sure they know how much I love and value them.” Knowing my place in the world There is a Jewish teaching that says everyone should carry with them two pieces of paper, each in a separate pocket. One paper should say, “I am but dust and ashes.” The other, “The world was created for me.” “I constantly remind myself that both statements are true,” Schwartzberg says. “I am capable of incredible things to improve the world, and I am just a tiny speck in the universe. Powerfulness and humility can, and do, exist for me side by side.” As the holidays approach, keep in mind that the best gift you can give – or receive – is love. “It’s not a table full of food or gadgets you can’t afford,” she says. “Approach this holiday season as if it could be your last, and you’ll probably find much more to revel in than to stress about.” About Jane Schwartzberg Jane Schwartzberg, 45, is the co-author of the newly released book, “Naked Jane Bares All,” the many-layered story – told with humor and candor – of how she learned to embrace life when she was down for the count. Jane is a financial services executive and founder and former CEO of a start-up technology company.