ISSN 0115-0839
AFFECTIONS Ariel Austria and Arielle Austria-Lansangan: Relationship by Design
COLUMNS
5
Here and the Hereafter
Pr. Leonardo C. Heyasa, Jr.
Connections
13
21
CONTENTS JAN UAR Y–FEBRUAR Y 202 2
Personal Answers Dr. Sheryl Ann M. Castillo
Beyond Being Clingy Dear Doctor Dr. Linda L. Varona
COVID-19 Vaccine: Safety and Allergies
27
Consult Your Lawyer Atty. Silvino L. Sumagaysay, Jr.
Foreign Judgment
32
Food for the Family Dr. Miriam R. Estrada
Vegetarian Bulalo
38
Standpoint Nathanlie M. Baldoza
A Cry to Be Alone
40
Learner’s Lab
Mary Grace L. De Guzman
What's With the Sloth?
REGULARS
4
iContact Michelle Anne P. Diamante
Strange Relationships
6
Stewardship Ellen G. White
Stewards of God
8
Life Musings
Health & Home Staff
Cultivating Relationships
14
18
Grace in the Act Corazon DC Hernandez
True Love Home Gardening Saul L. Roylo
Bell Pepper
20
Modern Homemaking Michelle Anne P. Diamante
Cleaning Your Refrigerator
22
Education Dr. Arceli H. Rosario
Building Connections With Online Students
33
A Day in the Life of . . . an Online Seller
Happiness in a Bite
Nathanlie M. Baldoza
About the Cover Father-Daughter Duo. Dad is a hero, someone his daughter decided to follow. Arch. Ariel Austria and Arch. Arielle Austria-Lansangan talk about building a strong family and work structure. Cover photo by Harold Bryan Namoca
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8
COMING UP. . . Reconciliations • Takway • Illegitimate Child’s Custody • Spring Onions for Summer • Powerful Forgiveness • No Excuses for Abuse • At Peace With God
34
People & Places Marveluz Blessie E. Canopin
36
Sama: A Peace-loving People Children’s Corner Arthur S. Maxwell
39
44
Gleaner Girl Arts & Crafts Gabriel S. Tiano
Upcycled Gemstones Hope for Today’s Families Series Willie and Elaine Oliver
Marriage God’s Way
46
Word for the World
Ecclesiastes A. Gasmen Love in the Air
47
Notes From the Frontlines Dr. Rosela D. Cena
24
My Guide to Life
14
FEATURES
10
30 Ways to Love Yourself Online National Privacy Commision
Protecting your biggest assets in the digital world
30
17
When Will I See You Again . . . Face to Face? Noemi L. Matuguina
Longings in isolation, “new normal” reflection
24
Arch. Ariel Austria and Arch. Arielle Austria-Lansangan: Following Footsteps and Building Legacies Health & Home Staff Do family members make better colleagues?
28
Romance in the Office Lebette Angel M. Baybay
Making love work at work
30
Why Touch Matters Vanessa Pizzuto
Being skin-to-skin and your well-being
42
18
Am I Adopted? Leslie R. Bagagnan
When children look for what their mothers don’t have
Grace in the Act
By Corazon DC Hernandez
TRUE LOVE “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 4:7, New International Version).
S
onia studied hard to prove to her father that she deserved to go to college. She even became the chair of a college organization. During training, however, a new guy kept asking questions, to her irritation. “Excuse me, sir, are you a member of this organization? Who are you, please?” Sonia questioned. “Oh, I am sorry. I am not a member, but I am willing to be one,” the man answered. “I am Adriano Mercado, the grandson of the congressman of our province. I also happen to be the son of the town mayor,” he proudly said. She was unimpressed. “I am sorry, sir, but I suggest you be a member first before attending this training. In the meantime, you may leave.” After the session, four male members apologized to Sonia on Adriano’s (Nonoy) behalf. “He transferred here after being kicked out of a university in Manila. He may look proud, but he is kind. Will you accept him in our organization?” She simply disliked the man, but she gave his friends the application form then left. Health & Home ︱ 14 ︱January–February 2022
Unrequited love In the following days, Sonia kept encountering Nonoy on campus. He would always greet her with warmth, but she returned it with coldness. They even had to sing a duet during a school activity and act like they were a couple, but Sonia remained reserved. The truth is, she had a secret boyfriend since high school, and he was still sending letters from Manila. Nonoy continued sending food to her dormitory and offering to drive her to and from school. He even dared to visit her at home and introduce himself to her father. “Oh, there you are now, Sonia! Your classmate here has something to ask of you because of your upcoming school event. He said he is the grandson of Congressman. Let him in,” Sonia’s father, himself a politician, commanded. “Sonia, I know you know how I feel. I love you!” Nonoy said without a pause when they were left alone. “Thanks for the love and time, but I am sorry to disappoint you. I already have a boyfriend, so please forget your love for me. Find the right girl who deserves
ARCH. ARIEL AUSTRIA AND ARCH. ARIELLE AUSTRIA-LANSANGAN
Following Footsteps and Building Legacies By HEALTH & HOME STAFF
C
an family be work colleagues? It seems to be a complicated arrangement to most, but this father-and-daughter duo proves that family makes an even stronger partnership. Arch. Ariel Austria and Arch. Arielle Austria-Lansangan have built a reputable name in the industry of architecture. Together in their company, A2 Designs, their relationship goes beyond blood; they are business partners, colleagues, collaborators, associates, and a team.
Health & Home ︱ 24 ︱January–February 2022
photo by Harold Bryan Namoca
BEGINNING OF A LEGACY Arch. Ariel’s journey in becoming an architect began when his father saw his potential in the arts. “I liked to paint and draw, so he took me to art galleries when I was 5,” he recalled. Soon he became an apprentice in several art shops, where his bosses also witnessed his ability. In high school, both his dad and art shop boss encouraged him to study Architecture, which he pursued after careful consideration. Since then, his passion in creating plans into reality expanded—finding the process and completion of a months— long project the most rewarding aspect of his career. As Arch. Ariel’s expertise and experience in his field developed, little did he know that his daughter, Arielle, was soon to follow in his footsteps.
Romance in the
Office
By LEBETTE ANGEL M. BAYBAY
I
n our workplace, several couples have experienced office romance and eventually tied the knot. It is not surprising to see coworkers having romantic feelings toward each other as they spend much of their time together. A study conducted recently showed that 89 percent of workers admit they were drawn to a coworker, and 58 percent admitted to dating their colleagues before. But love isn’t always cupcakes and rainbows. In a worst-case scenario, people get fired and be forced to look for a new job because of an office relationship. Love can be complicated and gets even more complicated if mixed with work, as it involves coworkers, bosses, and careers. Before you start such a relationship, at least have a plan on how you’re going to navigate risks. Here’s a suggestion of dos and don’ts that could help you: DO: KNOW YOUR COMPANY’S POLICY. Some companies prohibit romantic relation ships, others don’t have any policy on this, and some simply impose guidelines about it. Take time to go over the workers’ manual or handbook. Here are some standard company policies: • Employees in a romantic relationship must disclose the nature of their relationship to the Human Resource Development or other relevant departments. • Some companies would let you fill out a “love contract,” indicating that you are entering this relationship consensually. • Public display of affection is prohibited in the workplace.
Health & Home ︱ 28 ︱January–February 2022
illustratios from vecteezy.com
DO: MAKE SURE YOUR FEELINGS ARE MUTUAL. Someone’s career can end if unwanted advances are initiated. Any sexual harassment claim can ruin professional lives. Be clear with your intentions and label your relationship. Better yet, engage coworker friends for accountability. They can counsel you if things may lead to embarrassments. Complications can arise if you start having casual office affairs, especially immoral ones, as you see this person on a daily basis.
Why Touch Matters I By VANESA PIZZUTO
kissing can be seen as arrogant and rude. While the amount and nature of touch are different from one culture to another, science has revealed that hugging and touching are essential to our wellbeing.
The most important sense A baby can be born deaf or blind and still develop normally and enjoy a rich adult life. When babies are severely deprived of touch, however, as often happened in grossly understaffed orphanages in Romania during Ceausescu’s regime, the consequences are disastrous. David Linden, professor of neuroscience at Johns Hopkins University, says that without touch, “growth is slowed, compulsive rocking and other self-soothing behaviors emerge, and, if not rectified, . . . disorders Health & Home ︱ 30 ︱January–February 2022
of mood, cognition and selfcontrol can persist through adulthood.”1 But touch isn’t good just for children or “touchy-feely” people. It’s fantastic for muscular NBA players too. A study found that when players touched more— celebrating scores with fist bumps, high-fives, head slaps, etc.—they performed better. Why? Because touch fosters trust and cooperation.2 Touch shapes the way we perceive and interact with people. “Interpersonal touch is a crucial form of social glue,” says Professor Linden. “Pleasant touch activates the brain’s orbito-frontal cortex, which is responsible for feelings of compassion that help us to bond with people.”3
High tech, high touch As an expatriate, I really appreciate the opportunity to
photo from pixabay.com
mmigrating to the United Kingdom was a bold move. As a Latina, I had a lot to get used to, but one of the most shocking elements of my new culture was how seldom people hugged each other. I fear that I adapted a little too well, though. On one of my first trips back home, I went to see a dentist for a routine check. When the friendly Argentinean dentist opened his office door, I stretched out my hand in British fashion. Instead of shaking my hand, he grabbed it, pulled me in, and kissed me on the cheek. I was in complete shock for a few seconds. Then, I thought: Relax, you’re home. This isn’t sexual harassment! Why would a dentist whom I’d never met before kiss me? Because an introductory kiss on the cheek is a sign of respect and affection in Argentina. In fact, not
People & Places
By Marveluz Blessie E. Canopin
SAMA: A PEACE–LOVING PEOPLE
S
Location Although their name implies “togetherness,” the Sama are scattered not just in the southwestern part of the Philippines but also in the eastern
shores of Borneo and even in Sulawesi, Eastern Indonesia. Because of their diverse location, they are considered as the most widely dispersed people group in Southeast Asia; thus, the lack of unity among their people, not just geographically, but also politically. This people group is identified according to their location, such as Sama Banaran and Sama Simunul; or according to their lifestyle, such as; Sama Dilaut for the sea gypsy Bajau, or Sama Dilaya for the landoriented Sama. Lifestyle The majority of the Sama live in the coastal areas in houses on stilts. Some of them also live in sea boats and are very nomadic. Interestingly, these sea gypsies get “landsick” whenever they stay on dry ground for a long time. To protect them from the scorching heat in the sea, they apply burak in their faces, a powder made from rice and medicinal plants. The typical meal of the day for a Sama would mean coffee and Health & Home ︱ 34 ︱January–February 2022
bang-bang (native local delicacies made from flour and coconut) for breakfast, and rice, fish, and roasted panggi kayo (cassava) for lunch and dinner. The Sama are very fond of eating shanlag and pyuto, which are made from dried fermented cassava. Faith The Sama of Tawi-Tawi are mostly Sunni Muslims. Based on records, they are 100 percent Islam and have a population of around 249,000 in the Philippines. Their diversity is still evident in their religious practices. Some are devoted Islam, while some have intermingled their Islamic faith with folk practices, such as the belief in horrifying supernatural beings called lutaw, praying in the trees to appease the spirits, and offering food and prayers in the mountains in honor of dead ancestors. Aside from having devoted Islam and folk Islam, there are also some who are animists such as the Sama Dilaut (the Bajau). They worship
photos courtesy of the author
ea gypsies and peace-loving people—these are the very descriptions usually heard of our Sama brothers and sisters in the islands of Tawi-Tawi. The Sama tribe is divided into various subtribes such as the Bajaus or Sama Dilaut, and the Northern and Southern Sama. They speak the Sama-Bajau language, a language closely related to Austronesian language (Malayo-Polynesian language). The most common greeting for them is “Assalamualaikum,” the Arabic word for “Peace be unto you.” A good day greeting in their local dialect, however, could be “Ahap allaw nikaam kamemon!” (Good day to all of you!). It is believed that the word sama comes from an Austronesian root word, which means “together,” “same,” or “kin.”
Am I By LESLIE R. BAGAGÑAN
MY OWN STRUGGLES I was raised in a Christian family, yet I found myself asking the mirror one day, “Am I adopted?” That question haunted me, especially when my mother would scold me, saying hurtful words and accusing me of being dumb without knowing what I did wrong. Nagging was my mother’s favorite parenting technique. Once, I was crying at home before the mirror. My playmate shot me with his pellet gun, and I was hurt. When Mother came home and saw me crying, she pulled my hair and nagged at me instead of asking me what the problem was. Another time, I overheard her chatting with a friend. The friend said, “Your daughter will probably grow up rich!” But Mom replied, “I doubt she’d amount to anything.” Her words broke my heart. From that day on, I told myself that I would prove her wrong. SPIRALING SELF-DOUBT My mother didn’t love me. Maybe I was adopted. These thoughts consumed me, that I even thought of running away from home. Worse, I thought of committing suicide. I even wished to have a terminal illness. Perhaps then I might feel her tender love.
Health & Home ︱ 42 ︱January–February 2022
photos from pexels.com
ADOPTED?
models not subject of the article
W
e had a group activity at church about the responsibility of parents to their children and vice versa. One of the young people asked, “Why are parents too strict with their children, which sometimes affects their decision-making?” I was fascinated by that question and volunteered to answer. That was also one of my complaints when I was younger. “Because we love you, and we don’t want you to be hurt. We’ve gone through the same things you are struggling with. You won’t understand us, parents, until you become one yourself,” I tried to explain. Those were not empty words. They came from years of pain and regret.
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