Health & Home (March–April 2022)

ISSN 0115-0839

RECONCILIATIONS Rebels With a Cause, Now Soldiers of the Cross

COLUMNS

5

Here and the Hereafter

Health & Home Staff

Reconciliations

13

Personal Answers Dr. Sheryll Ann M. Castillo

On Managing Thoughts and Emotions

21

Dear Doctor Dr. Linda L. Varona

Surviving Cancer

CONTENTS MARCH–APRIL 2022

27

Consult Your Lawyer Atty. Silvino L. Sumagaysay, Jr.

Child Custody

32

Food for the Family Dr. Miriam R. Estrada

Try Takway

38

Standpoint Nathanlie M. Baldoza

Sweet Danger

40 About the Cover

Learner’s Lab Mary Grace L. De Guzman

What Is in a Wallaby's Pocket?

REGULARS

4

iContact Michelle Anne P. Diamante

Pieced Together

6

Stewardship

Rose F. Fausto

The Basics of Borrowing

8

Life Musings

Health & Home Staff

I Forgive You

14

Grace in the Act Princess Pearl G. Fernandez

Witnessing a Miracle

18

Home Gardening Saul L. Roylo

Onion

20

Modern Homemaking

Eva Veronica A. Regachuelo

Sewing Tricks Up Your Sleeves

22

Education

Kathleen B. Flores

Teaching From Home, Teaching at Home

33

A Day in the Life of . . . a Peacekeeper Lebette Angel M. Baybay

A Life of Service

Zipped Tight. Opposing fabrics of society can indeed become as one garment by the power of God’s Spirit. More on this miraculous story of reconciliation in Mindoro on page 24.

Cover photo by Harold Bryan Namoca

6

33 COMING UP . . . Attachments • The Jolly T’boli • A Foreigner’s Share in Real Property? • Ginger Power • Adoption Among Animals • Exploring Oneness and Friendship in Marriage • Fatty Liver Without Drinking Beer

34

People & Places

SULADS

The Manobo: From War to Worship

36

Children’s Corner

Children Around the World

When Sid Said Sorry

39

Arts & Crafts

44

Hope for Today’s Families Series

46

Word for the World

47

Notes From the Frontlines

Lebette Angel M. Baybay

Paper Cup Weaving

Willie and Elaine Oliver

No Excuse for Abuse in the Family

Jecsoon O. Mariñas

24

The Bridge

Edison S. Esteves

Meaning and Ministry

44

FEATURES

10

A Voter's Guide for the Nation's Future

Better elections begin with a better electorate

12 16

34

Royce Bellaire G. de Luna

Peacekeepers Shealtiel Elisse D. Abas

A child’s call for bridge builders

Being Right, Wronging Someone Twilight Dawn F. Gahap

On being self-absorbed, self-righteous

24

Firearms and Roses: A New Cause for Soldiers and Former Rebels

Reconciliation miracle through radio in Mindoro

Pr. Robert B. Dulay

28

30

42

When Your Spouse Is Hurting Karen Holford

Create a safe space for healing

Live to Forgive Dave Edgren

How doing otherwise is a slow death

The Role of Hormones in Women’s Health Dr. Percida S. Cocos

Neither estrogen nor progesterone alone

Life Musings

By Health & Home Staff

T

o say “I forgive you” may take anywhere from within a few minutes to months, years, or a lifetime. Some even take their grudges to the grave.

Walls of anger, hurt, and bitterness only rise higher when the offender is insincere or unrepentant. Where do we find the strength to tear these walls down? Should we even try to?

Here are some friends who would like to share their insights.

you

What was the longest time it took you to forgive? What happened?

I believe forgiveness is both a process and a choice. It requires relinquishing something important to you: your moral indignation, desire for retaliation, or attachment to being right. However, forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciling with the wrongdoer.

I forgive easily, yes, but I don’t open myself to reconciliation right away. I allow time to heal all the wounds first.

Forgiving becomes easy once you've come to terms with your experience or with grief and anger. When you can let go of your resentment and rage, you can move forward.

Six years.

I was in elementary when my mother had to raise my two siblings and me all by herself.

Then I learned that my dad was living with another woman and even had children with her.

I felt abandoned and betrayed. I grew up hating the man I couldn’t even call father.

Lately, however, he started reaching out. I felt his repentance, but it was not easy to forgive. Nevertheless, God helped me find a place for forgiveness in my heart.

There may no longer be a chance for our father to return to us, but my hatred is gone. We are now communicating more often, and I can feel his love and care even from a distance.

Maria Ericka Grace C. Enriquez Secondary school teacher Prosperidad, Agusan del Sur

Maika Marie G. Hachero Third-year college student City of Dasmariñas

Do you believe in/agree with forced reconciliation? Why or why not?

Health & Home ︱ 8 ︱March–April 2022

illustrations from canva.com

I Forgive

Grace in the Act

By Princess Pearl G. Fernandez

photos courtesy of author

WITNESSING A

Miracle I

lost my my mom when I was just 19. When I became a mother myself, I started to fear dying. I earnestly wanted to be there for my children—to comfort them in their pain, share in their happiness, and watch them grow. One can, therefore, imagine my anxiety when I suddenly got infected with COVID-19 while eight months pregnant with our third child.

Symptoms On August 27, 2021, I started feeling a bit unwell. I had a scratchy throat and was a little feverish. I did a rapid antigen test, and it was negative.

Saturday evening, I started coughing. I did another test, and it was positive! A subsequent RT-PCR test confirmed I had COVID-19.

I followed the government guidelines and isolated myself, but my two daughters and my husband later caught the virus as well.

On August 31, an ambulance brought me to the maternity department for my baby’s checkup.

Everything was fine, so we went home.

I started having coughing fits, however, which made it difficult to catch my breath. I also had a racing heartbeat.

On September 2, I decided to go to the hospital to get a workup for my peace of mind. The doctors checked for pulmonary embolism, but the test came

back normal. I was running a high fever, though, so they decided to admit me for close monitoring.

Days went by, and I kept deteriorating. My oxygen requirement increased. The doctors tried to put me on a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machine, but I could not tolerate it. I was put on Airvo1 instead.

The obstetrics consultant informed me that delivering the baby early would be an option to help my lungs expand.

I was eventually transferred from the maternity respiratory ward to the intensive care unit (ICU).

Struggle Messages of support from family and friends soon flooded my inbox. A male nurse in the ICU even cheered me on.

Multiple medical teams handled my case. I informed them I didn’t want to be intubated and put on a ventilator. I tried to fight. I asked the nurses, doctors, and anyone I saw to pray for me.

From my bed, I could see a tall mountain through the glass window. I imagined that I was climbing that mountain, desperately trying to reach the top. But then it started raining. A strong wind started to blow.

Although I kept on praying, doubt crept into my mind.

Will I be able to conquer this mountain? Will I even reach my next birthday?

Then I prayed again and played the song “Still.”

My condition worsened. I soon had hypoxia3 episodes, even if I was on the highest setting of Airvo.

Health & Home ︱ 14 ︱March–April 2022

Education

By Kathleen B. Flores

photos from freepik.com

Teaching From Home Teaching at Home

I

am a teacher. I did not dream to be one. In fact, I tried to escape the tea­ching profession when I graduated and later received my teacher’s license. However, I felt that the teaching profession chose me even though I did not initially plan to be an educator.

Teaching comes naturally to me. I sometimes feel a bit nervous, espe­ cially at the start of the new semester, but my nerves often come from excitement and first-day-of-class expectations. It wasn’t until my son started his schooling that my teaching abilities were tested, my instructions questioned, and my patience tried to the highest level.

Challenging I couldn’t remember a time when I felt helpless inside the classroom, even when we transitioned to virtual ones. Teaching my son, however, often feels like taking a test without a proper review or braving a down­­­­­­­pour without an umbrella. Such a declaration may seem like an exaggeration.

That’s possible, but the daily encounter we have during his lessons is enough to drain my energy for the whole day and close the door to the idea of ever homeschooling my child.

As a kindergarten student in the flexi-blended program, my son needs to attend online classes which last for an hour three times a week, and join a group reading program or unstructured class socialization once a week or twice a month.

Health & Home ︱ 22 ︱March–April 2022

FIREARMS and

ROSES

A N E W CA U SE F O R SOLD I E RS A N D F O RM E R RE B E LS

By PR. ROBERT B. DULAY

S

ince 1969, the island of Mindoro has witnessed a continuous cycle of clashes between soldiers and New People’s Army (NPA) rebels. Ambushes and retributions were commonplace, resulting in needless deaths. Most of the casualties were only considered collateral damage.

The local government sought peace by various means and incentives. Yet, the rebels kept disturbing the peace and inciting people to insurrection.

Will peace remain elusive? Can the land find rest from bloodshed? Can soldiers and rebels see each other face to face without wanting to exact revenge?

Ferocious rebel

Health & Home ︱ 24 ︱March–April 2022

photos courtesy of Adventist World Radio

Ka Rosa* is now 46 years old. She had spent most of her life—since she was 12 years old, in fact—as an active NPA rebel in Mindoro.

As Nangalilihim ng Isang Larangan, she served as secretary of the NPA intelligence office.

Among her duties as a high-ranking official was to prepare for and lead ambushes of specific targets that included soldiers, police officers, and civilians. Her team usually had only three months to accomplish their task. They tagged these assignments as parusa or punishment.

Their group’s activities included destroying government facilities, recruiting more members, and brainwashing indigenous communities (the Mangyan) by sowing discontent against established

S

When your spouse is hurting, they need your prayers. Even when they don’t have the words to pray, your prayers can be a huge comfort and blessing. Hold their hands. Pray a short, focused, caring prayer, asking the God of all comfort to comfort them. When people are hurting, short prayers are best because it’s really hard to concentrate when the emotional center of your brain is in pain.

Look at your partner through God’s eyes, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you pray sensitive prayers.

Pray that God will give you all the compassion you need to support and understand your partner.

WHEN YOUR SPOUSE

IS HURTING

By KAREN HOLFORD

Explore the iceberg When your hurting spouse is talking, focus on the feelings underneath their words and behavior. Sometimes people sound angry when they are in fact feeling sad, frightened, frustrated, or disappointed.

Instead of reacting to their words, wonder what they might be feeling and say, “It sounds to me as if you’re feeling disappointed/sad/ overwhelmed. What can I do to help?”

Help them to draw their pain like a huge iceberg.

On the top that’s visible above the water, write what they are saying about their pain and what other people might be seeing when they hurt.

On the underwater iceberg, write the feelings and thoughts that are deep underneath. This can help you both to understand their thoughts and experiences.

Be gently curious Whenever your spouse’s emotions seem out of proportion, and you’re tempted to think they’re just “overreacting,” there’s probably a story of past pain that’s never been completely healed. Be curious about other times when they felt similar emotions, maybe in their childhood or adolescence.

When they tell their painful stories, listen comfortingly, tell them how sorry you are that they went through such pain, that their hurt breaks your heart too, and that if you had been there at the time you would have comforted them by— (cite examples of what you might have done).­ This is the kind of healing listening that enables us to “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15).

Health & Home ︱ 28 ︱March–April 2022

models not subjects of the article

Pray simply

photo from canva.com

omething small had happened—so small I don’t even remember what it was.

But I was angry, defensive, arguing . . . and, admittedly, irrational.

After a few moments, Bernie asked gently, “What’s really going on for you? This isn’t about what just happened, this is way bigger. . . .

I’m wondering if it reminds you of something else that happened in your life?”

He pressed my pause button.

I sat down, took a deep breath, and tried to retrace the path through my memory. Eventually, I discovered a huge cavern of pain caused by the cruelty of my first-grade teacher. One small event and I had tumbled back down the rabbit hole into the fear and humiliation of that distant classroom.

Life can hurt like crazy.

Experiencing pain is an integral part of being human. God wants us to remember that if it wasn’t good to be alone in Eden, it certainly isn’t good to be alone out of Eden!

Loneliness intensifies the pain, but gentle togetherness with a loving spouse can soothe the pain, heal the hurts, and bring us closer in love, compassion, and understanding.

Hope for Today’s Families

By Willie and Elaine Oliver

FOR ABUSE IN THE FAMILY

W

e are living in an age of violence. Our senses are bombarded by violence in the news, music, television, and other media outlets. Many people are the target of violence. The victims that most touch our hearts are women and children. It is true that men are also victims of abuse and violence, but in smaller numbers—which may be due to lack of reporting. Regardless of who the victim is, domestic or family violence is incompatible with God’s plan for the human family.

Domestic violence includes physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. There is no hierarchy of abuse—each one is destructive.

Physical abuse may include behaviors such as pushing and kicking, and it can escalate into more harmful attacks. While it can start with minor bruising, it could end in murder.

Sexual abuse can include in­appro­priate touching and verbal remarks. Rape, molestation, and incest are also included in this category.

Emotional abuse includes behaviors that con­ sistently de­grade or belittle the individual. It can include verbal threats, episodes of rage, obscene language, demands for perfection, and in­­­­valida­­tion of character and person. Extreme posses­­­­siveness, isolation, and depriving someone of economic resources are all psychologically and emotionally abusive.

There is no real profile of abusers or victims.

Both may come from all age groups, ethnic groups, socioeconomic classes, professions, and religious or non­religious communities. Abuse and violence may take several forms. In the case of the elderly and children, it may also include severe neglect.

The victims • In the United States of America, one in four women will experience domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, during her lifetime.1 • Women are more likely than men to be killed by an intimate partner.

• Women between the ages of 20 and 24 are at the greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.2 • Every year, one in three female homicide victims is murdered by her current or former partner.3

The consequences • Survivors of domestic violence “face high rates of depression, sleep disturbances,”and other emotional distress.4 • “Domestic violence contributes to poor health for many survivors.”5 • “Without help, girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults.”6 • “Without help, boys who witness domestic violence are far more likely to become abusers of their partners and/or children as adults, thus continuing the cycle of violence in the next generation.”7 • Most incidents of domestic violence are never reported.8 In domestic violence, there is always a misuse of power. Domestic violence is characterized by fear, control, and harm. One person in the relationship uses coercion or force to control the other person or other family members. The abuse can be physical, sexual, or emotional.

There are several reasons why abusers or batterers may choose to abuse their power:

Health & Home ︱ 44 ︱March–April 2022

photos from freepik.com

No Excuse

More than fun!

Discover how God is always able!

Lessons for everyone!

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