ISSN 0115-0839
RECONCILIATIONS Rebels With a Cause, Now Soldiers of the Cross
COLUMNS
5
Here and the Hereafter
Health & Home Staff
Reconciliations
13
Personal Answers Dr. Sheryll Ann M. Castillo
On Managing Thoughts and Emotions
21
Dear Doctor Dr. Linda L. Varona
Surviving Cancer
CONTENTS MARCH–APRIL 2022
27
Consult Your Lawyer Atty. Silvino L. Sumagaysay, Jr.
Child Custody
32
Food for the Family Dr. Miriam R. Estrada
Try Takway
38
Standpoint Nathanlie M. Baldoza
Sweet Danger
40 About the Cover
Learner’s Lab Mary Grace L. De Guzman
What Is in a Wallaby's Pocket?
REGULARS
4
iContact Michelle Anne P. Diamante
Pieced Together
6
Stewardship
Rose F. Fausto
The Basics of Borrowing
8
Life Musings
Health & Home Staff
I Forgive You
14
Grace in the Act Princess Pearl G. Fernandez
Witnessing a Miracle
18
Home Gardening Saul L. Roylo
Onion
20
Modern Homemaking
Eva Veronica A. Regachuelo
Sewing Tricks Up Your Sleeves
22
Education
Kathleen B. Flores
Teaching From Home, Teaching at Home
33
A Day in the Life of . . . a Peacekeeper Lebette Angel M. Baybay
A Life of Service
Zipped Tight. Opposing fabrics of society can indeed become as one garment by the power of God’s Spirit. More on this miraculous story of reconciliation in Mindoro on page 24. Cover photo by Harold Bryan Namoca
6
33 COMING UP . . . Attachments • The Jolly T’boli • A Foreigner’s Share in Real Property? • Ginger Power • Adoption Among Animals • Exploring Oneness and Friendship in Marriage • Fatty Liver Without Drinking Beer
34
People & Places
SULADS
The Manobo: From War to Worship
36
Children’s Corner
Children Around the World
When Sid Said Sorry
39
Arts & Crafts
44
Hope for Today’s Families Series
46
Word for the World
47
Notes From the Frontlines
Lebette Angel M. Baybay
Paper Cup Weaving
Willie and Elaine Oliver
No Excuse for Abuse in the Family
Jecsoon O. Mariñas
24
The Bridge
Edison S. Esteves
Meaning and Ministry
44
FEATURES
10
A Voter's Guide for the Nation's Future
Better elections begin with a better electorate
12 16
34
Royce Bellaire G. de Luna
Peacekeepers Shealtiel Elisse D. Abas
A child’s call for bridge builders
Being Right, Wronging Someone Twilight Dawn F. Gahap
On being self-absorbed, self-righteous
24
Firearms and Roses: A New Cause for Soldiers and Former Rebels
Reconciliation miracle through radio in Mindoro
Pr. Robert B. Dulay
28
30
42
When Your Spouse Is Hurting Karen Holford
Create a safe space for healing
Live to Forgive Dave Edgren
How doing otherwise is a slow death
The Role of Hormones in Women’s Health Dr. Percida S. Cocos
Neither estrogen nor progesterone alone
Life Musings By Health & Home Staff
T
o say “I forgive you” may take anywhere from within a few minutes to months, years, or a lifetime. Some even take their grudges to the grave. Walls of anger, hurt, and bitterness only rise higher when the offender is insincere or unrepentant. Where do we find the strength to tear these walls down? Should we even try to? Here are some friends who would like to share their insights.
you
What was the longest time it took you to forgive? What happened?
I believe forgiveness is both a process and a choice. It requires relinquishing something important to you: your moral indignation, desire for retaliation, or attachment to being right. However, forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciling with the wrongdoer. I forgive easily, yes, but I don’t open myself to reconciliation right away. I allow time to heal all the wounds first. Forgiving becomes easy once you've come to terms with your experience or with grief and anger. When you can let go of your resentment and rage, you can move forward.
Six years. I was in elementary when my mother had to raise my two siblings and me all by herself. Then I learned that my dad was living with another woman and even had children with her. I felt abandoned and betrayed. I grew up hating the man I couldn’t even call father. Lately, however, he started reaching out. I felt his repentance, but it was not easy to forgive. Nevertheless, God helped me find a place for forgiveness in my heart. There may no longer be a chance for our father to return to us, but my hatred is gone. We are now communicating more often, and I can feel his love and care even from a distance.
Maria Ericka Grace C. Enriquez Secondary school teacher Prosperidad, Agusan del Sur
Maika Marie G. Hachero Third-year college student City of Dasmariñas
Do you believe in/agree with forced reconciliation? Why or why not?
Health & Home ︱ 8 ︱March–April 2022
illustrations from canva.com
I Forgive
Grace in the Act
By Princess Pearl G. Fernandez
photos courtesy of author
WITNESSING A
Miracle I
lost my my mom when I was just 19. When I became a mother myself, I started to fear dying. I earnestly wanted to be there for my children—to comfort them in their pain, share in their happiness, and watch them grow. One can, therefore, imagine my anxiety when I suddenly got infected with COVID-19 while eight months pregnant with our third child.
Symptoms On August 27, 2021, I started feeling a bit unwell. I had a scratchy throat and was a little feverish. I did a rapid antigen test, and it was negative. Saturday evening, I started coughing. I did another test, and it was positive! A subsequent RT-PCR test confirmed I had COVID-19. I followed the government guidelines and isolated myself, but my two daughters and my husband later caught the virus as well. On August 31, an ambulance brought me to the maternity department for my baby’s checkup. Everything was fine, so we went home. I started having coughing fits, however, which made it difficult to catch my breath. I also had a racing heartbeat. On September 2, I decided to go to the hospital to get a workup for my peace of mind. The doctors checked for pulmonary embolism, but the test came
back normal. I was running a high fever, though, so they decided to admit me for close monitoring. Days went by, and I kept deteriorating. My oxygen requirement increased. The doctors tried to put me on a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machine, but I could not tolerate it. I was put on Airvo1 instead. The obstetrics consultant informed me that delivering the baby early would be an option to help my lungs expand. I was eventually transferred from the maternity respiratory ward to the intensive care unit (ICU).
Struggle Messages of support from family and friends soon flooded my inbox. A male nurse in the ICU even cheered me on. Multiple medical teams handled my case. I informed them I didn’t want to be intubated and put on a ventilator. I tried to fight. I asked the nurses, doctors, and anyone I saw to pray for me. From my bed, I could see a tall mountain through the glass window. I imagined that I was climbing that mountain, desperately trying to reach the top. But then it started raining. A strong wind started to blow. Although I kept on praying, doubt crept into my mind. Will I be able to conquer this mountain? Will I even reach my next birthday? Then I prayed again and played the song “Still.” My condition worsened. I soon had hypoxia3 episodes, even if I was on the highest setting of Airvo.
Health & Home ︱ 14 ︱March–April 2022
Education
By Kathleen B. Flores
photos from freepik.com
Teaching From Home Teaching at Home
I
am a teacher. I did not dream to be one. In fact, I tried to escape the teaching profession when I graduated and later received my teacher’s license. However, I felt that the teaching profession chose me even though I did not initially plan to be an educator. Teaching comes naturally to me. I sometimes feel a bit nervous, espe cially at the start of the new semester, but my nerves often come from excitement and first-day-of-class expectations. It wasn’t until my son started his schooling that my teaching abilities were tested, my instructions questioned, and my patience tried to the highest level.
Challenging I couldn’t remember a time when I felt helpless inside the classroom, even when we transitioned to virtual ones. Teaching my son, however, often feels like taking a test without a proper review or braving a downpour without an umbrella. Such a declaration may seem like an exaggeration. That’s possible, but the daily encounter we have during his lessons is enough to drain my energy for the whole day and close the door to the idea of ever homeschooling my child. As a kindergarten student in the flexi-blended program, my son needs to attend online classes which last for an hour three times a week, and join a group reading program or unstructured class socialization once a week or twice a month. Health & Home ︱ 22 ︱March–April 2022
FIREARMS and
ROSES
A N E W CA U SE F O R SOLD I E RS A N D F O RM E R RE B E LS By PR. ROBERT B. DULAY
S
ince 1969, the island of Mindoro has witnessed a continuous cycle of clashes between soldiers and New People’s Army (NPA) rebels. Ambushes and retributions were commonplace, resulting in needless deaths. Most of the casualties were only considered collateral damage. The local government sought peace by various means and incentives. Yet, the rebels kept disturbing the peace and inciting people to insurrection. Will peace remain elusive? Can the land find rest from bloodshed? Can soldiers and rebels see each other face to face without wanting to exact revenge?
Ferocious rebel
Health & Home ︱ 24 ︱March–April 2022
photos courtesy of Adventist World Radio
Ka Rosa* is now 46 years old. She had spent most of her life—since she was 12 years old, in fact—as an active NPA rebel in Mindoro. As Nangalilihim ng Isang Larangan, she served as secretary of the NPA intelligence office. Among her duties as a high-ranking official was to prepare for and lead ambushes of specific targets that included soldiers, police officers, and civilians. Her team usually had only three months to accomplish their task. They tagged these assignments as parusa or punishment. Their group’s activities included destroying government facilities, recruiting more members, and brainwashing indigenous communities (the Mangyan) by sowing discontent against established
S
When your spouse is hurting, they need your prayers. Even when they don’t have the words to pray, your prayers can be a huge comfort and blessing. Hold their hands. Pray a short, focused, caring prayer, asking the God of all comfort to comfort them. When people are hurting, short prayers are best because it’s really hard to concentrate when the emotional center of your brain is in pain. Look at your partner through God’s eyes, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you pray sensitive prayers. Pray that God will give you all the compassion you need to support and understand your partner.
WHEN YOUR SPOUSE
IS HURTING By KAREN HOLFORD
Explore the iceberg When your hurting spouse is talking, focus on the feelings underneath their words and behavior. Sometimes people sound angry when they are in fact feeling sad, frightened, frustrated, or disappointed. Instead of reacting to their words, wonder what they might be feeling and say, “It sounds to me as if you’re feeling disappointed/sad/ overwhelmed. What can I do to help?” Help them to draw their pain like a huge iceberg. On the top that’s visible above the water, write what they are saying about their pain and what other people might be seeing when they hurt. On the underwater iceberg, write the feelings and thoughts that are deep underneath. This can help you both to understand their thoughts and experiences.
Be gently curious Whenever your spouse’s emotions seem out of proportion, and you’re tempted to think they’re just “overreacting,” there’s probably a story of past pain that’s never been completely healed. Be curious about other times when they felt similar emotions, maybe in their childhood or adolescence. When they tell their painful stories, listen comfortingly, tell them how sorry you are that they went through such pain, that their hurt breaks your heart too, and that if you had been there at the time you would have comforted them by— (cite examples of what you might have done). This is the kind of healing listening that enables us to “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). Health & Home ︱ 28 ︱March–April 2022
models not subjects of the article
Pray simply
photo from canva.com
omething small had happened—so small I don’t even remember what it was. But I was angry, defensive, arguing . . . and, admittedly, irrational. After a few moments, Bernie asked gently, “What’s really going on for you? This isn’t about what just happened, this is way bigger. . . . I’m wondering if it reminds you of something else that happened in your life?” He pressed my pause button. I sat down, took a deep breath, and tried to retrace the path through my memory. Eventually, I discovered a huge cavern of pain caused by the cruelty of my first-grade teacher. One small event and I had tumbled back down the rabbit hole into the fear and humiliation of that distant classroom. Life can hurt like crazy. Experiencing pain is an integral part of being human. God wants us to remember that if it wasn’t good to be alone in Eden, it certainly isn’t good to be alone out of Eden! Loneliness intensifies the pain, but gentle togetherness with a loving spouse can soothe the pain, heal the hurts, and bring us closer in love, compassion, and understanding.
Hope for Today’s Families By Willie and Elaine Oliver
FOR ABUSE IN THE FAMILY
W
e are living in an age of violence. Our senses are bombarded by violence in the news, music, television, and other media outlets. Many people are the target of violence. The victims that most touch our hearts are women and children. It is true that men are also victims of abuse and violence, but in smaller numbers—which may be due to lack of reporting. Regardless of who the victim is, domestic or family violence is incompatible with God’s plan for the human family. Domestic violence includes physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. There is no hierarchy of abuse—each one is destructive. Physical abuse may include behaviors such as pushing and kicking, and it can escalate into more harmful attacks. While it can start with minor bruising, it could end in murder. Sexual abuse can include inappropriate touching and verbal remarks. Rape, molestation, and incest are also included in this category. Emotional abuse includes behaviors that con sistently degrade or belittle the individual. It can include verbal threats, episodes of rage, obscene language, demands for perfection, and invalidation of character and person. Extreme possessiveness, isolation, and depriving someone of economic resources are all psychologically and emotionally abusive. There is no real profile of abusers or victims. Both may come from all age groups, ethnic groups, socioeconomic classes, professions, and religious or nonreligious communities. Abuse and violence may take several forms. In the case of the elderly and children, it may also include severe neglect.
The victims • In the United States of America, one in four women will experience domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, during her lifetime.1 • Women are more likely than men to be killed by an intimate partner. • Women between the ages of 20 and 24 are at the greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.2 • Every year, one in three female homicide victims is murdered by her current or former partner.3
The consequences • Survivors of domestic violence “face high rates of depression, sleep disturbances,”and other emotional distress.4 • “Domestic violence contributes to poor health for many survivors.”5 • “Without help, girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults.”6 • “Without help, boys who witness domestic violence are far more likely to become abusers of their partners and/or children as adults, thus continuing the cycle of violence in the next generation.”7 • Most incidents of domestic violence are never reported.8 In domestic violence, there is always a misuse of power. Domestic violence is characterized by fear, control, and harm. One person in the relationship uses coercion or force to control the other person or other family members. The abuse can be physical, sexual, or emotional. There are several reasons why abusers or batterers may choose to abuse their power:
Health & Home ︱ 44 ︱March–April 2022
photos from freepik.com
No Excuse
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Discover how God is always able!
Lessons for everyone!
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