Since 1959 Anniver
Exciting homemaking Angkor what? Steps to take in Siem Reap
ISSN 0115-0839
What is VBAC? Global health under attack
sary
Love and abuse where to draw the line
Making Ripples DEPRESSION What to do, what to eat
CONTENTS
September-October 2019
6
Housewifery Rose Fres Fausto Make homemaking exciting
8
16
10 Threats to Global Health
Is This Really Love? (First of Two Parts) Karen Holford
Health & Home Staff
How to recognize abuse and abusers, and begin healing
10
Dangers await aside from possible pandemic
Picture-perfect
Angeline P. Diaz
From happy family to living solitarily
12
How I Survived College Freshman Year
Katherine L. Tac-on
Culture shock, rising above the pack
20
Rainy Day + Brownout = Family Fun Evangeline T. Cailao
Make the most of your time indoors
22
Diet and Depression Eden L. Elisan
Food can help lift your mood
23
A New Lifestyle Medicine Department
Wilson A. Sia II
Pioneering in natural healing
24
Top 10 Things to Do in Siem Reap Mervin Marasigan
Exploring Angkor Wat and beyond
26
Okra in Tomato Sauce Sue Radd
Slimy maybe, but definitely tasty
26
Slimy, Yummy
Evelyn V. Almocera
The okay in okra
30
To All Marriageable Sons
33
Helen Gregg Green
A mom’s advice to make grooms wise
Rules for a Perfect Day Author Uknown
34
Just for today, I will . . .
Frederick’s Experiment Ty Gibson
Subscribers Section Compiled by Health & Home Staff
10 Reasons to Share Health & Home
How much do you need love?
36
Common-sense Rules on Social Media
38
Motivation for Learning
28
44
Forgive to Live
Rosanna Padua
46
Vaginal Birth After Cesarean 101 Mothers have an option
Michelle Anne P. Diamante
You reap what you sow—and post
Teofilo C. Esquerra, Jr.
How to take “boring” out of studying
Victor M. Parachin
Setting prisoners free includes me
Divine Therapy
Julián Melgosa and Michelson Borges
Solutions to depression
Coming up… Lessons From the Luxurious Poor • The Ceasefire Song • Your Child’s Love Language • Slow Down
Aging by Learning • Relentless: A Mother on the Street • Handful, Not Spoonful • A Gift Made of Stone
COLUMNS 3 Here and the Hereafter
here and the hereafter
Anniver
Leonardo C. Heyasa, Jr.
sary
Making Ripples 4 iContact
Compiled by Michelle Anne P. Diamante
14 Consult Your Lawyer
Atty. Silvino L. Sumagaysay, Jr.
Substitution of Party
19 Dear Doctor
Linda L. Varona
Uncomplicated U.T.I.
27 Personal Answers
Arnold C. Serra
To Cut or Not to Cut
32 Share a Thought
Vennis C. Silva
Ripples of Kindness and Inspiration
40 Food for the Family
Miriam R. Estrada
Packed Lunch Ideas
41 Word for the World
Sandy Stewart
Edie and Me
42 Children’s Corner
Janet R. Tolete
Bouncing Waves
ABOUT THE COVER The rhythm of life. Waves (like the sound waves above) signify life—a ray of light, a song of joy, and a beat of the heart. May this issue create ripples of wonder. Cover photo from Login/Shutterstock.com Photos and illustrations in this issue are from Shutterstock.com unless otherwise credited.
W
hen we talk about ripples, what easily comes to mind are tiny waves moving on the face of the water. Waves, however, can be created on different mediums and can be generated even by a force as small as a drop. One whisper can create sound waves in the air. One word can get a person in trouble. One click can go viral on social media. The lasting, wide-ranging—and often unintentional—impact of one small act is so common we actually have a term for it: ripple effect. For this issue of Health & Home, we’d like to invite you, dear readers, to reflect on the reach and significance of the ripples we are creating. Every action, every word, every choice, and every thought is like a drop in the pond of our lives and in the lives of others. These include that tactful comment online (p. 36), that loving hug you give your loved ones (p. 34), that fruit that lifts your mood (p. 22), or that positive self-talk at the start of your day (p. 33). But one particular aspect I’d like us to focus on are the ripples we are making in our own children. You may be familiar with the poem “Children Learn What They Live” by Dorothy Nolte. Let me quote a few lines: If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
In the same breath, parents have the power to mold wandering children into wonderful adults:
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Jesus placed such a high value on children that He made this stern warning: “And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea” (Mark 9:42). This really made me pause and reflect. One time my son misbehaved. To show him that I did not approve of his behavior, I openly shunned him. In fact, when he came to me for a hug, I decided to reject him. The pain in his eyes still pierces my heart until now. I really regret my response that day. One harsh word, one unkind look, or one cruel deed can leave a wound in the mind of a child and, if left unhealed, could shatter him— and his parents—forever. It is my prayer that people, especially parents, will be more conscious of the ripples they are making. Will these reach the water’s edge bringing pain, sorrow, and hate? Or will these ripples carry peace, joy, and love—flowing beyond the now and unto eternity? Read on. Keep your ripples lasting and memorable.
Leonardo Catangcatang Heyasa, Jr., is editor in chief of Health & Home.
Health & Home ︱ 3 ︱ September-October 2019
By ROSE FRES FAUSTO
eing a full-time homemaker during the growing up years of our sons is one of the best decisions I have made in my life. It gave me the opportunity to get to know each one of them in an unhurried fashion. It also gave me lots of fulfillment and joy, because my children are such a delight to be with. But of course this decision also went with a lot of headaches and occasional doubts whether I did the right thing or not. It is not the only way to raise your children well, but to me, it was. Here are some tips I wish to share with mothers who have made the same decision I made and also to those who are contemplating on devoting their focused and undivided attention to the growing up years of their children. These were some of the things that helped me not lose my identity and be an “exciting homemaker!”
1. Always have a project to
keep your brain cells active.
2. Read a lot, and share what you learn with your husband and kids.
3. Attend parenting and other
self-improvement seminars.
4. Learn a
new skill. You can do it during the school year or you can join your kids’ summer classes if they interest you. (I even joined the boys’ kickboxing summer classes!)
5. Do not watch too much TV. You might not notice it but it’s a waste of time. This goes the same for spending too much time on social media. Be selective with what you always expose yourself to.
6. Go out with friends and family regularly.
7. Surround yourself with happy people.
8. Have a regular date with
your husband and prepare for it as you did during your dating days.
9. When you go out, dress up well. You don’t have to be fully made up all the time but before you step out of the house, just imagine that you might bump into
Health & Home︱ 6 ︱ September-October 2019
people you know like your friends, your husband’s friends, or maybe even your ex? In fact, look good even if you’re just at home. (Okay, I struggled with this years ago because I just loved wearing my tattered but comfy pambahays. But mind you, this habit was limited to the four corners of our house and I think I’ve already recovered from this syndrome.)
10. Make your house worth
visiting for friends and family, and most especially for yourself since you will be staying there most. One of the best compliments I get from the boys is when they say, “Our house is our sanctuary!”
11. Endorphins, which are
secreted during exercise, make you happy.
Grace
Picture-perfect
T
models not subjects of article
in the Act
By ANGELINE P. CADIZ
hat was my description of my family growing up. That picture had my sister, my brother, and me wearing funny faces. Dad and Mom, who sat behind us, held us in their protective embrace while they gazed smiling at each other. After years of marriage, they had only grown more in love. There were occasional tantrums at home, all right, even ear-pinching, which led to short bursts of sulking and brooding. But at the end of each day, love and happiness prevailed. In short, ours was a happy home. Its corners echoed with laughter and childish banter. Our parents’ counsels were balms that healed our pain; their encouragements, perfumes that sweetened our mien. We felt stable and secure. Good old days My siblings and I almost always got what we asked from our parents. I couldn’t remember wanting anything because almost everything was already provided for, even before we asked. Our family business was booming and showed no signs of slowing down despite stiff competition. My parents were able to save without sacrificing family pleasures and leisure. Sundays were either a family movie date or a trip to the beach. Birthdays were party times with neighbors and friends storming the house for the celebration. There were tables of food, bundles of fun, and lots of memories.
Faded portrait I thought life was pure bliss and that it would be like that forever. But I was wrong. What came after was something that shook my family to the core. And we were not prepared. We were so stunned by the sudden turn of events that we were never able to fully recover our loss and our life together as a family. Papa was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors found malignant cells in his pancreas. He became so weak his doctors confined him in the hospital for months. Mama had to be with him most of the time. He had to be assured that she would always be there for him no matter what. Our mother couldn’t take care of us as she wanted due to the demands and unpredictability of Papa’s condition, so our maternal grandparents took us, siblings, under their care. We were confused and anxious, but our grandparents tried their best to make us feel safe and cared for. At least, we had a family to come home to after school. Broken link After several months of treatment, Papa was miraculously discharged from the hospital. I couldn’t describe how I felt when I learned about it. I couldn’t wait to be home knowing that we would be one family under one roof again. Through the help of a family friend, our family was able to put up another business. We regained
Health & Home︱ 10 ︱ September-October 2019
Vaginal Birth After Cesarean 101 By ROSANA PADUA
“Once a cesarean, always a cesarean.” The common belief is that once a woman gives birth via cesarean section, she has no other option but to the do the same over and over again, up to a maximum of 3-4 children, regardless of circumstances. But is this sound? Perhaps it’s time to rethink our assumptions.—Editors
H
ave you heard of vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC)? Did you know that more and more women in the Philippines are choosing this birth option for themselves and their babies? “Having a VBAC is not exactly the same as ‘just’ having a vaginal birth. You need to look at the big picture. It is important that you know why you had your caesarean/s and what you can do differently in order to have a vaginal birth,” writes Diana Korte, author of The VBAC Companion: The Expectant Mother’s Guide to Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. VBAC or RCS? In any pregnancy and birth, there are risks involved. For the past decades, studies have shown that VBACs pose fewer risks than repeat cesarean sections (RCSs), and repeat cesareans more than triple the risk of maternal death.1 Each cesarean also increases
the mother’s risks to placenta complications.2 Still, VBAC is underused. Ninety percent of women with past cesarean are actually candidates, yet only 10 percent get a VBAC because of fears and wrong information.3 Top on the list of fears for many women is the dreaded idea of uterine rupture or the sudden opening of the cesarean scar. Obstetrician Bruce Flamm and his team studied 11,000 VBAC women in California in 1994 and observed a rupture rate of only 0.5 percent. Also, the risk of uterine rupture decreases by half after the first successful VBAC and did not increase with additional VBACs.4 The safest incision for a VBAC and the least likely to rupture is the low left-to-right horizontal incision. Some doctors would require your incision to be so in order to count you as a candidate. The good news is that most cesarean incisions are done this way for the past decade or so.
Key ingredients One key ingredient to a successful VBAC journey is education. Knowledge is power for Claire who had her VBAC in 2017. “Had I not known that there is such a thing, VBAC would not have been an option for me at all. After reading a lot of VBAC stories, I found my supportive OB and gained the support of my husband who helped me all the way despite his initial apprehension,” she shared. Mithi, who also had her VBAC in 2017, says, “Educate yourself! At the start of your pregnancy, read books and do research. It is important to attend childbirth classes and prepare yourself physically through exercise and healthy eating. Closer to birth, create a birth plan with Plans A and B, which you have carefully studied with your partner, doctors and midwives, and doulas. ”
Health & Home︱ 28 ︱ September-October 2019
To All Marriageable Sons By HELLEN GREGG GREEN
You’re a small lad now; when you receive this letter you will be a man. Are you wondering why on your wedding day you are given a letter dated very long ago? I am writing to you, my son, because life is full of uncertainties, and I may not be one of those parents blessed with long association with her children. Just now, laddie, you feel life is going to be so simple and joyous. But marriage is a challenge to those young in years and experience. . . . You will discover that in marriage it is much the same as in other things: If life together is to pay worthwhile dividends, you must put effort, thought, imagination, and a great deal of love into it. . . . Wasn’t it Strickland Gillilan who wrote, “A lot of loving is God’s own antidote for fret”? This hour will pass, and the next, and the day, and, in an infinity of time, years will pass. By your side will be a girl eager to make you happy and to be happy herself. Whatever your interests are, you will plan, study, and work for a goal giving you satisfaction and comfort. The most transforming thing in life is friendship, the foundation of every true marriage. Friendship and conversation should be a mutual exchange, not a monopoly, since neither silence nor loquacity is conducive to happiness. So do only your share of talking. Listening well is a compliment unspoken! Be niggardly with criticism, and generous with your praise! Hold fast to the joie de vivre! A sense of humor helps over rough places; things that seem serious vanish into nothingness after a good laugh. But let me caution you against social drinking. Remember, son, your marriage will be safer and “You can build a finer life and have a better time in this complex world if you refuse to drink!” . . . Plan small surprises! There is something inherent in a woman that needs change and variety as she needs the sunshine. Health & Home︱ 30 ︱ September-October 2019
models not subjects of article
Thoughts and notes expressing love and longing, regret and grief, appreciation and admiration; the depths of human emotions captured in the old art of letter writing.
By MICHELLE ANNE P. DIAMANTE
ocial media is a double-edged sword. Properly used, it can make a positive influence on one person’s life and in the lives of others. Misused, however, it can be a tool to hurt and destroy people. For this reason, we must learn to wield it responsibly. Just what is right and what is wrong on social media? People have different moral and ethical standards so the answer may be debatable, but here are some basic “rules” that are unquestionably for the good of everyone involved:
S 1
Respect others.
Whenever you go online, keep in mind that there’s a real person beyond the screen you’re looking at (although some are trolls using fake accounts). This real person—just like yourself— has his/her own feelings, dreams, opinions, and values. Treat him/ her with respect at all times. Don’t say anything that can ruin a person’s reputation. If you have a problem with the person, talk to him/her directly and personally about it. Don’t air your dirty laundry on social media. The same rule applies to pictures. Don’t post pictures that can ruin a person’s image, even if it’s for humor or for a good cause. That photo of your coworker sleeping in your office may make people assume he’s lazing around during office hours when, in reality, he was only resting during break time. A photo can be misleading, and people may interpret it
far differently from its original context. To avoid this, properly caption photos. Always think of the welfare of others whenever you’re online— or offline. #DoNoHarm #SpreadGoodVibes
before you post (or 2Think share).
Many people readily accept and believe what they read, see, or watch. Make sure that the things you post and share are true. In my college days, whenever there were storms, posts that looked like actual news articles announcing the suspension of classes would appear on my news feed. Some classmates would send me a link to one of those, rejoicing over the thought that they could sleep in the next day. I would then visit official news sites to confirm the authenticity of the “news,” only to find that there wasn’t such announcement.
Health & Home ︱ 36 ︱September-October 2019
CHILDREN'S CORNER By Janet R. Tolete
Hello! Hello . . . hello . . . hello . . .
H
ave you tried shouting at a well, a tunnel, or a hallway and heard “someone else” talk back to you using the same words you said? The sound may be a bit scary or even funny, but that is not from someone else. It’s just your echo. An echo is a sound that is repeated because the sound bounces back to the speaker.
Waving air
When you speak (or sing), your body creates vibrations that move molecules of air around you, especially in front of your lips. These molecules push one another and move away as waves. If these sound waves reach a hard surface like a wall, they bounce back to you like balls. Then you may hear an echo. But wait! Not all rooms or sounds can create an echo.
Q: What is an echo? is what happens in hallways, canyons, or empty rooms. But if sound waves bump into a soft surface, they get absorbed. The movement of air molecules stops and no sound goes back to the speaker. Adding soft objects like carpets, sofas, and curtains makes a room less echoey.
Shapes and textures
Sound waves can also lose strength when they encounter rough surfaces as more of them are converted to heat upon contact. Another factor that affects how sound waves bounce around is the shape of the room. For example, the curved walls and domes of churches and mosques make sounds and echoes louder and more distinct.
Hard vs. soft
Sound waves are a form of kinetic energy. If they hit a hard surface, they bounce back loud and strong, making an echo. This
Health & Home︱ 42 ︱ September-October 2019
Recording studios, on the other hand, have soft and textured walls, floors, and ceilings to absorb all sound waves and reduce echoes.
Near or far
One more reason why you may or may not hear an echo is distance. If you are standing too close to a wall, however hard it is, you may not hear an echo. The human brain continues to hear a sound for up to 0.1 seconds after it started. This phenomenon is called persistence of hearing. If you hear an echo faster than 1/10 of a second, the brain interprets the reflected sound and the original sound as one and the same. So, you won’t hear the echo. But if the sound waves bounce back after 0.1 seconds, your brain clearly interprets the sound as an echo.
Ceaseless bliss or endless loss? A bright future lies ahead, but how do you get there? You need to know now.
Read before you totally miss it!
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