Changing times

Ways to learn how to deal with new challenges

Sometimes good things come to an end. Sometimes mediocre, average, everyday things come to an end. Either way, we are often left wondering what we are supposed to do next. Now what?

When that something is over, the “overness” leaves a bittersweet feeling inside. We question if it was our entire identity. We become enamored at all the years we spent on or in something.

The grocery store is no longer. How many cans of vegetables that we bought from that shelf, in aisle 4, plagues our mind. Will the new grocery store, that we feel forced to go to now, have our brand?

The career that we drove ourselves to, day in and day out, for 25 years ends in a word called retirement. The word retirement is supposed to be exciting.

What isn’t shared are the feelings left when the shock or party is over. We always ask each other the length of time as if the quantity amplifies the disorientation. We want to measure our pain, shock, confusion, or excitement as if that will help or justify the newfound situation.

This doesn’t change the fact that we are still left with a level of disillusion and disorientation. What do you do with the empty room that your child no longer inhabits? What do you do with “every day is a Saturday”? What do you do with a surgery that leaves you unable to play the instrument that you so dearly love? We are mammals. We are notorious for adaptability.

Abundance surrounds us. An abundance of opportunities is there for the taking. It reminds me of the slew of casino cords that I have. My husband and I like to travel. If there is a casino, we aren’t ashamed. We will go and throw a couple of twenties down the machines for fun. Especially, if the casino offers new member incentives and we can pick a new colored cord for the new card that will dangle down our neck for the two hours that we may spend there.

We laugh because at home these cords will get all tangled up in a drawer and we have no idea what state they were from. We laugh because we will never go back there again. Yet, we hang onto them. Not particularly for a souvenir, but is it that stupid “just in case” mentality?

To be honest, I don’t even really know. I think it is the feeling of all the choices, the proof of adventure, or possibly the proof of the journey. It represents the measurement that mammals seem to seek. Squirrels collecting their nuts. Dogs and their little addictions. We all like to visually see what we have as if it shows worth, or is it the age-old “safety in numbers” mentality?

Abundance is the better thought to hang on to. Not in the sense of how many physical items that we have but how many opportunities there are for us in this life. Literally, when one door closes, two shall open for you. The more you focus on the abundance in your life the more that you will feel safe.

Safety in numbers. Our numbers are abundant, you can count on that! Choose to change the focus of an ending and look at it as opening two more doors. You may need to be in the waiting room for a short bit before going into the next door but that is just fine.

Enjoy the music. Read a book. Reflect on all the skills that you have acquired in previous years. Experience is great.

Experience can never be taken from you.Experience sets you apart from the othersquirrels. We can collect the awards overthe years, the colored cords, the pictures,all that STUFF, but it is the experience thattruly builds the integrity.

Integrity is where our passion lies,our identity, our truth. This IS our abundance.When one door closes, twice morethe doors open because our experiencebrings us opportunities in ways that wethought weren’t even possible. Closeddoors do not truly exist when you focuson all the gifts that our experiences havegiven us. Amplify the light on the experienceand watch it grow in abundance.

Laurie DeBruin CCH,CRR is the owner of Chrysalis Reflexology Hypnosis & Enrichment Center. Reach her at (517) 648.1980.