Chapter One
REMEMBER THESE SIX SIMPLE WORDS
After decades of work with athletes, Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching (1) determined what they most liked to hear from parents after a game. They suggest six simple words parents can express that produce the most positive results in their performing children. After interacting with athletes, they report, “College athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame. Their overwhelming response:
Dr. Tim Elmore of Growing Leaders http://growingleaders.com/tim- elmore) beautifully sums up Brown and Miller’s work when he says, “That’s it! Those six words. How interesting. How liberating to the parent. How empowering to the student-athlete. No pressure. No correction. No judgment. Just pure love of their child using his or her gifts in competition.”
What’s more, these six simple words can be morphed and used for any area in a child’s life:
“I love to hear you sing.”
“I love seeing you challenge yourself.”
“I love catching your unexpected smile.”
“I love seeing you enjoy books.”
Though the Brown and Miller study related to athletes as to what they found to be the most encouraging phrases, these six simple words can be helpful for all parents in any situation with their child.
(1) http://www proactivecoaching info/proactive/
“I love to watch you play.”
The simplicity in these statements, and the fact that the kids repeatedly said these encouraging words helped them the most, is of great value to parents. Instead of asking or demanding more of our kids, any parent can gain perspective and help their child perform to the best of their ability, if we step back and think about the impact of these six simple words. For instance, when a small child is learning to read, instead of pushing them to do more, just saying, “I love to hear you read” could be more powerful for both child and parent. And, if we restrain from asking them to do more and allow ourselves to enjoy the moment of accomplishment with our child, it may be surprising how those six simple words may be the very best motivating factor for a kid to keep going when the going gets tough.
