Rules of engagement no walk in park.

Amorning walk is a thing for many people, a real cultural experience, indeed often a community bonding time whether you walk with someone else, a group or solo, acknowledging recurring faces whose names remain a mystery but share a common purpose.

But there’s an etiquette to morning walks and it can take ages to understand the rules of engagement, or

Handpicked (Collection)

Tasmania Chardonnay 2021, $50. Possibly the most amazing array of favours from a chardonnay we have encountered, from some citrus and other fruits to a hint of grown-up stuff from barrels. One of the most alluring expressions of chardonnay you will encounter and will easily distract you from passers- not as the case may be.

Walking past people in the street has always been fraught, not least in New York in the old days when making eye contact could get you shot, but that’s America, and okay, parts of Queensland.

Thankfully Aussies are more relaxed, notwithstanding there’s still rules and inappropriate behaviour result in a clip behind the ears from Mum for staring, for instance, or by. 9.8/10.

Handpicked (Collection)

Yarra Valley Chardonnay 2019, $50. The second of a trio of chardonnays from the team at Handpicked is another reason to return to the breed if you’ve been disappointed. While not quite up there with the riot of favours of the Tassie sibling, you won’t be disappointed having more recently from Ms L. for, well staring.

Yes, there’s a peculiarly unspecifc amount of time one may look into another’s eyes, not unlike the understanding of the holding-the-ball rule in AFL, the duration of which is only truly understood by Victorians.

Too short a glance can be dismissive and invoke “are they avoiding me” or “do they hate me”, either of which may be true, but not dropped a pineapple on it. 9.5/10.

Stonier Mornington Peninsula Chardonnay 2021, $40. Don’t you love it when guests bring a delightful chardonnay then leave it behind unopened?

I felt guilty not giving it back but only until I tried it. Sophisticated, smart chardonnay in the modern vernacular, this always, surely?

Too long a glance, as above, may result in sore ears, including metaphorically if you’re on your own, and you can see people trying their hardest to measure out their glance, lest they fall outside this scope of respectability.

Sadly this is why headphones, earbuds and other devices have proliferated, as people seek new ways to avoid human contact, awkwardly ironic deserves something clever as a replacement for the generous donation to the cause. 9.5/10. when they step in front of a car they didn’t hear coming.

Taylors McLaren Vale Barossa Valley Jaraman Grenache 2021, $30. Not quite as grenachey as I would have liked, but grenachey enough to be an interesting and a worthy alternative to average cab’ or shiraz. 9.2/10.

However their strategy is misguided and they know they still need to interact in some fashion lest they look rude, possibly with psychopathic tendencies.

This is mostly seen in those who wear the buds merely for effect, to say, “don’t bother me, I’m a very busy person listening to something really important”, but you can

Taylors Clare Valley St Andrews Chardonnay 2020, $45. Not quite heavenly stuff from the patron saint of chardonnay, St Andrew, but it’s knocking on the door…or the gates, or whatever your religion suggests might be barring the way. Wines like this that make you think ‘big’ oak could come back. 9.5/10.

Max Crus

tell the ones who really are because they say “Hello” far too loudly.

This is also why podcasts are so popular. Five minutes of fairly interesting information crammed into an hour of journalistic indulgence, the perfect length to avoid humanity on a morning walk…although I did listen to a really good wine podcast recently. “Ouch, that hurt. I wasn’t even staring”.

Smith and Hooper Wrattonbully Cabernet Merlot 2021, $21. Sounds like a gun manufacturer, so saying “I’ve got a Smith and Hooper”, if you’re ever bailed up in New York would probably work and you could have glass with your mugger if you wanted to make peace. 9.2/10.