Burner phones balm to business blackout blues.

This whole Optus thing has been blown out of all proportion, mainly by the media and pollies, and sure, 10 million people were affected, but look on the bright side, that means 16 million weren’t, except they couldn’t buy a coffee.

Poor Optus. Who hasn’t had their phone cut off for some reason?

Perhaps Optus didn’t pay their phone bill? Maybe their corporate credit card

Angullong Orange Region

‘Fossil Hill’ Barbera 2022, $30. Barberas, like all wines, can be hit and miss, and when you get more misses you’re less likely to return. This will bring you back to the fold, like an old Virgin customer moving back to Optus. The scent is amazing. 9.5/10.

Angullong Orange Region expired or was hacked?

Imagine what the hackers could have bought with that!

Apparently the likely cause was a system update. Again, who hasn’t had that problem? I bet someone forgot the password to reboot. Write it down guys, it’s no good keeping it on your phone, obviously.

Or maybe the guy whose face it recognises was on holidays?

It happened at 4am so

‘Fossil Hill’ Sangiovese 2022, $30. The smell is not quite so alluring as sister Barbera, but it’s warming and worthy once you drink it and both are pretty big girls at 14.5 per cent so you get some bang for your buck. Same as Optus. 9.3/10.

Mount Majura Vineyard Canberra District they couldn’t call technical faults…” You have called outside offce hours. However, most issues can be cured online or by simply rebooting your device”…. which is apparently exactly what they did and bingo!

All honest mistakes, but by the way the media and pollies were carrying on you’d think it was the end of the world. Geez, guys, have you heard of Gaza?

Any business whingeing

Mondeuse 2022, $34. A tough one to pronounce for whitebread, No-voting Aussies, but luckily it’s pretty much as it appears. Quite pinot like in weight and character so have it with book club rather than footy. 9.1/10.

Mount Majura Clare Valley (Parallel Ridges) Riesling 2023, $30. For about lost trade needs to suck it up, the solution is simple, and doesn’t involve merely swapping to Telstra. The same thing will happen to them eventually, indeed already has. Lest we forget.

For many businesses a Telstra SIM would have been well worth $30 a month, but remember to keep the Optus one, and Telstra customers should now get an Optus SIM as well, specially now there’s maximum effect you should try this next to Canberra riesling, but if you haven’t got one don’t let that stop you drinking it and your guests likely won’t be as bored as if you did. Predictably lovely Clare riesling. 9.4/10.

Leconfeld Coonawarra

Blanc de Blancs, NV, $36. Once someone says some excellent discounts.

Furthermore, what do these people do when the power fails? Blame the power company! It’s not as if that’s never happened, but do they plan for it?

What about a fancy honour system for coffee shops et al? What rude bugger wouldn’t honour that?

Okay, if you’re selling computers and phones (how ironic) maybe a different

Blankety Blanks (old people will remember) it is hard to not to think of it every time. That was at a gallery opening 20 years ago, still the ideal setting for this wine. Sharp and bright, like the young things at such venues these days. 9.4/10.

Leconfeld Coonawarra

‘Uncle Syd’ Fortifed Old

Max Crus

plan is required, such as a battery back-up or if you’re an idiot and vote Coalition, a small nuclear reactor that hasn’t been invented yet. Big businesses should also share the telco load. Simple. My consultancy invoice is in the mail.

I’m with Optus here, in both senses, and if all else fails, just take the day off and enjoy a quiet glass of wine and stop whingeing. Or think of Gaza.

Tawny (15-Year-Old), $36. This is a throwback to the good old days when Australia made more fortifed wine than sheep and has all the characters you’d hope for in such a nostalgic beverage. Pour it on your xmas pud’ but keep it away from Nana. 9.3/10.